For those of you who are newer to the site, you may know me as Ben, the guys who runs The Nexus our comics section here on InsidePulse.
But you dinosaurs, you may remember that before there was an InsidePulse, before there was even a 411mania, I broke into the world of the internet with a column on professional wrestling called The Mean.
The short version is that the Greek philosopher Aristotle always taught that for everything there were two extremes: excess and deficiency; if you could find the halfway point between these two in all things, find the mean, youÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d be perfectly happy.
In wrestling fandom, youÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve also got two extremes: the smart fan (excess) and the mark fan (deficientÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦though not in a derogatory way). The point of my column was to take a look at individual wrestlers and their careers, then look at them from each perspective, and ultimately find the mean.
Well, IP needed somebody to do the live Raw coverage tonight, so I figured why not dust off the old format and see how it plays as a recap. With each match and segment, IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll give the quick & dirty results, then look at it from the perspective of both the smart and the mark, and finally determine the mean.
Will it work? WeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll see.
Will it mean it might take a bit longer for those of you who rely solely on this site for your up to the minute results to get them? Quite possibly.
Will it tarnish the legacy of me and my column? Most definitely!
Will Widro fire me? Fat chance, IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m a superstar, bay-bee!
Now thenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦on with the show.
ItÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s fifteen minutes to the hour and they just announced that Orton will be there, Jericho will wrestle Batista and they showed the Diva graphic, revealing that Carmella is indeed still alive.
UPDATE: Widro just told me that if I do well here, maybe I can be his roomate this fall…cross your fingers, everybody.
Randy Orton interview
New champ Orton comes out to start the show, gold confetti and all, mixed reactionÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦but he was on the cover of the Toronto Sun. HeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s most definitely starting off as a heel, accusing the crowd of not believing in him against Benoit. HeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s calling for all 24 year old men to stand upÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦geez, lots of ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‹Å“em (IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m only 22, IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve still got two more years to win the title)ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦uh, he wants the dudes to take off their shirtsÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and theyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re doing itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Widro never told me recapping was like thisÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦crowd is all over him with a ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œYou SuckÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â chant nowÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦
We get a video recap of Orton and his accomplishments thus far, all the way up to his win last nightÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦excellent production values and good song (anybody know what it is?)
Destiny is the buzzwordÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and hereÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s Benoit to interrupt (it was 50/50 on him or HHH). Crowd is loving Benoit tonight, no divideÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Benoit lets Orton know his first title defense is against him and Orton says in a few weeks heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll get his rematchÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Benoit is exercising his rematch clause tonightÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Summerslam main event rematch tonight! Is WWE getting cold feet on Orton as champ?
THE SMART: The internet loved Orton not too long ago, but seem to have turned on him mostly because WWE may have decided heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s 100% ready for the main event when the IWC only feels heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s 85% there. He can talk well enough, but heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s still got strides to make in the ring; heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll make them, but heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s not quite there yet.
THE MARK: The crowd seems confused by Orton. They seem to want to cheer him based simply on the precedent set by guys like The Rock and Kurt Angle, guys who were heels but adapted so quickly you couldnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t ignore their star power and had to cheer their wit. Yet the crowd also seems to sense heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s a work in progress. ItÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s as if they want somebody to cheer and Orton just fits the mold. HeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s pretty good at the cheap heat though, he can turn a crowd against him like a pro.
THE MEAN: Orton is indeed a work in progress, but it would be hard to argue that he doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t show potential that youÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d have to be blind to not see he WILL get there. ItÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s all really a matter of how he handles this title reign; if he recognizes that the World title is not an excuse to halt his development, heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll be fine and will undoubtedly be the guy to lead this company into the future, taking the spot Brock vacated; if he sits on his laurels, heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll burn out and be a huge waste of the companyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s time and money and a big chance for the IWC to say ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œtoldya so.ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â
ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œAll For Nothing MatchÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â Rhyno vs Sylvan Grenier
OkÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦if Rhyno wins, he and Tajiri wrestle La Resistance at UnforgivenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦if Grenier wins, Rhyno & Tajiri never get a title shot.
Rober Conway takes out Tajiri early with a flag shotÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦lot of restholds by Grenier with Rhyno having been slowed downÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦JR likes synchronized divingÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Rhyno gets overpowered in a clothesline duel, strangeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦the crowd seems to get very into it once Rhyno takes overÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Grenier with, like, the longest delayed belly-to-back suplex IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve ever seenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Tajiri nails Grenier with the mist sending him into the Gore and weÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve got our first match for Unforgiven.
Kane narrates a vignette with sweet music as he invited us all to his wedding to Lita next weekÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦I love the way Kane say ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œLllllitaÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚ÂÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦KaneÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s voice and maniacal laughter coupled with this music is surreal in a cool way.
Kane gets Edge for the IC title later tonight.
THE SMART: No smart fan on Earth has been happy with the tag team wrestling scene in about four years. The general feeling seems to be that La Resistance are acceptable because they are a pure team, though there is no love for Grenier in the IWC and Conway is an acquired taste. The attitude towards Rhyno, Tajiri and this whole feud seems to be one of more or less apathy.
THE MARK: The La Resistance gimmick is that surefire one that will NEVER get old with fans, theyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll always be great heels. The crowd loves Tajiri as well. Rhyno is one of those guys whose entrance music doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t elicit huge cheers, but his intensity generally wins crowds over. The marks donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t worry about the larger picture of the tag team division, they just watch whatÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s in front of them.
THE MEAN: Rhyno & Tajiri are niche players that WWE has nothing to do with but who are, as JR would say ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œgood hands.ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â La Res is a good touchstone to base the tag division around. This program works, but it has very limited legs. The Smackdown champs Kidman & London are getting quite over right now as well, but also have only a few opponents. It might be awkward, but the solution to me seems to be finding a way to merge the tag division across brand lines.
Stills from the Kane-Matt Hardy match from last night set to KaneÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s music. IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m really sad for Lita, who was so all the rage during wrestlingÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s peak period in 2000 and has gone further downhill than I ever thought would be possible in such a brief time.
Former Heat broadcast partners Coach and Lita reuniteÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Coach is a dick to Lita and she wants to be left aloneÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦but the heel girls (Trish, Molly, Gail Kim & Jazz) are throwing her a bridal showerÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦this is priceless, Trish and Molly are hilariousÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œsince you sleep around so muchÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚ÂGail Kim sucks, but whatever, she photoshopped KaneÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s face on a baby! Jazz gives her a vibrator! I love this! Make Trish & Molly the new announce team!
Oh, Victoria is here and Trish asks if her coach in Dodgeball was Stevie WonderÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦uh, wasnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t Trish the coach? Whatever, heel Trish rulesÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Victoria slaps her andÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦abrupt commercial?
Is anybody else worried Anacondas just canÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t pack the same punch without J-Lo? And Open Water is the best Shark movie since Jaws? Beating outÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦what?
Hey! Promo for HBK! HeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s coming backÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦but we donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t know whenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦JR says Unforgiven thoughÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll let Biscuiti make the joke.
Victoria vs Gail Kim
I like this new ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œsororityÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â mentality to the heel DivasÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Kim is doing pretty well hereÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦King FINALLY asks the question why Lita didnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t use a condomÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Kim has a variation of a figure four on the head (thank you high school wrestling) on VictoriaÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve got to give kudos to Gail Kim for really holding her own hereÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and here comes the ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œYou Screwed BretÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â chant, the Canadian equivalent of ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œboring,ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â but if I had to answer the question, IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d say they were chanting at Kim, simply because sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s Canadian and seems more BretÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s typeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦WidowÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s Peak, love that move, and that wins it for Victoria.
Trish attacks post match and so does Tomko, holding Victoria for Trish to smack herÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Tomko with the gorilla press slam and Stevie-In-Drag makes the save, actually drawing ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œStevieÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â chants.
IC title is next.
THE SMART: The IWC became very high on a revitalized WomenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s division when Trish, Jazz and later Victoria and Molly Holly were having the best matches on the show. I think Gail KimÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s entrance is exactly when the IWC turned on the division. Smarts also didnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t take kindly to VictoriaÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s babyface conversion as she can be annoyingly perky at times, something that will always piss off internet fans. The IWC seems to be warming up to Victoria again if only because sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s talented, but theyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ve yet to forgive Kim.
THE MARK: The general mark crowd has never cared about Gail Kim and has never been given a reason to. Victoria is another like Rhyno in terms of winning fans over during the course of the match with her ability, but sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s also slowly but surely just getting over, though sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll likely never reach the level of Trish or Lita in her prime.
THE MEAN: The womenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s division is almost as good now as it was in its heyday, itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s just hampered by a smaller playing field. Victoria is extremely underrated, Trish is excellent, Jazz will always have something, Molly is solid, and Kim is getting better every day. However, itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s going to take something really spectacular to draw both smarts and marks back into seeing the womenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s division as potentially more than filler as they did in 2000-2002. Interesting that the current WomenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s title has lasted seven years and counting now, much longer than most titles introduced past the IC title.
Intercontinental Title: Edge Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â© vs Kane
No surprise that JR & King are focusing on the wedding and I too am wondering how it will lookÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦EdgeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s goatee is definitely bad ass, heel or notÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Edge working the leg, as is standard Kane opponent offenseÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Lita is out as JR gets a great line ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œmaybe heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll get her wedding present at Satan RÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ Us!ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â and we go to commercialÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦
ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦back from commercial and Edge has taken control and upped the pace, knocking Kane out of the ringÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦nutty Canadian fans are just yelling ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œCANADAAAA!!!ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚ÂÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Kane powers out of an Edgeocution attempt and takes overÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦this match has been unspectacular but solid, much like my writingÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦referee is down as Kane throws Edge into himÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦top rope clothesline, but Lita wonÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t let him hit the chokeslam (this is pretty much where they were at after Vengeance)ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦whoa, Matt Hardy is in! IsnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t he injured?ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Twist of Fate on Kane! Spear on Kane! Win for Edge!
Kane is dragging Lita into the ring andÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦aww, theyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re cuddling! Kane isnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t angry at what just happened because he knows what kind of relationship this is going to be and heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œgoing to enjoy itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â (obviously, the girl puts out like Widro on two bottles of hard cider)ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Lita slaps Kane but ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œthatÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s the way I like it! ItÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s gonna be a HELL of a honeymoon!ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â Hellfire and brimstone, baby!
THE SMART: Two guys who the internet doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t find offensive but arenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t exactly rallying World title petitions for. Smarts will acknowledge Kane is better than most big men youÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll find, but constant humblings and ridiculous angles (such as the current one with Lita) have more or less crippled his smart credibility. For some reasons smarts have never seemed to get all the way behind Edge though he possesses the fundamental skills and respect for the business that usually makes for a smart favorite. DonÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t get me wrong, smarts donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t hate Edge, but they donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t love him either, to them heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s just one of those guys who is fine to watch and always puts on a good show, but heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s never going to be Benoit or Guererro in their eyes.
THE MARK: Unlike the smarts, the marks will always forgive Kane no matter what inane crap WWE Creative puts him through. They will always buy him as a monster, no matter how many losses he has. He will always be a viable heel challenger for face World champions and I do believe he could carry a title run if needed. Edge on the other hand has been crippled by mark apathy since returning to WWE. His charisma got him quite over as a heel, but his sense of humor has never worked as a face. HeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s another who crowds will get into as the matches go, but Edge isnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t Rhyno or Victoria, he should have more than that.
THE MEAN: Most people arenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t in love with this Kane-Lita angle, but theyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re certainly talking about it and itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s produced some interesting segments and in some case some entertaining ones (like the Divas one earlier). It will be interesting to see where they go with this, particularly with HBKÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s impending return (cÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢mon BiscuitiÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦make the joke). They need to pull the trigger on the Edge turn, but they need to be careful about it; they canÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t keep making him a face again every time he gets a nice reaction and tweeners donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t work as well now as they did eight years ago. Marks and smarts alike have completely turned on Lita because real world logic seems to work very differently than WWE logic.
More promotion for Orton-Benoit andÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦say, thatÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s right, we havenÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t seen HHH yet tonightÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦
And it is time for the Diva Wannabes! Carmella looks disinterested!!
Before they get to the elimination, each Diva said who theyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d vote off and whyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦
-Michelle would vote off Carmella because sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s busy and wants another contract! OHH!!!
-Kristy (with homemade WWE glitter tank top) would vote off Carmella because she knows she ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œdoesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t want itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
-Maria would vote off Carmella because she reminds her friends of a dishrag! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Tracie would vote offÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Carmella?! What a heel! SheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s not as excited as the others!!
-Carmella, all smiles, votes off JoyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦because sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s married and has babies! Whoa!
-Amy would vote off Carmella WITH CONVICTION! She makes fun of the wrestlers and laughs at the contests! Amy is FEISTY!
-Joy would vote offÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Carmella! SheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s not a team player! She wasnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t there for Diva Dodgeball!
And the person actually voted offÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Michelle! I knew it! Thank lord all of my picks are still around.
This was far and away the best Diva segment everÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦I have no idea what the deal is with Carmella, but itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s intriguingÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦butÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦
THE SMART: Smarts do not care about this contest at all. TheyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll take whomever.
THE MARK: Marks want Carmella. Why? Plain and simple: sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s the hottest. They donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t know anything about the backstage junkÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦or at least they didnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t until tonightÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦thatÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s why this is now going to be very interesting.
THE MEAN: The intelligent (not smartÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦thought youÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢d catch me there), and by intelligent I mean my pick is Kristy. Yes, sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s irritatingly peppy, but sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s still a hottie and is the only one who can string sentences together and maintain her energy and enthusiasm, plus you know sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s willing to get dirty, which some of these other chicks might not be. Trust me, sheÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll grow on everybody if she gets picked. Amy is my second pick with Joy in third and Maria in fourth. CarmellaÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦I donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t know what to think. With Michelle gone, Tracie is the only one I donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t really care to see getting the win because I find her annoying and overbearing.
Chris Jericho vs Batista
A match I will never get sick ofÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦quick paced start courtesy of Y2J, Batista slows it down with power stuffÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Y2JÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s crossbody looked a bit too choregraphedÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Y2J picks it up again, nice enziguri and weÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re into a hot series of reversals, power vs saavyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Jericho going for the Walls (which has never ever worked on him), but he busts out and Flair flips out! I LOVE THIS!! Flair was the best part of the HHH-Steiner match at Royal Rumble when I went at the FleetcenterÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Y2J goes for the Lionsault but Flair nails him and Batista gets DqedÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦wicked Batista spinebusterÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦here comes Edge! He runs around the ring but Evolution is heading him offÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦he says screw it and heads to the back. Well yeah, Y2J ditched Edge last week, but he didnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t run around the ring like a moron first. Edge-Y2J is clearly on the way, and they have to decide whoÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s going to be the heel yesterdayÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Edge got booed just now after being cheered earlier, so thereÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s your answer to me. This was too short, but themÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s breaks on TV.
THE SMART: The IWC is incredibly high on both these guys right now and would probably prefer greatly to see them up top with Benoit rather than Orton and HHH. Jericho has gained his reputation through years of hard work and has worked his way up the ladder from a guy the smarts supported to a guy they love. JerichoÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s smart credentials come more from his ability to stay over and motivated when heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s not in the upper card; heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s a valuable role player and the IWC appreciates him. Batista is a more unique case in that heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s one of the few guys with an amazing look who has gone beyond that and actually taken the time to develop as a wrestler. If Batista had better mic skills he would be the total package. The buzzword for both these guys as far as smarts is ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œrespect.ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â
THE MARK: The crowd canÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t get enough of these guys either. Y2J is, as Eric would say ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œperpetually overÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â and his face turn was perfectly timed and has worked beautifully. Batista is a physical marvel and the marks eat him up. Big futures for both of these guys.
THE MEAN: Not much to say here; everybody loves Y2J and Batista at the moment and they both deserve it. What to do next with them though?
Diva Dodgeball recap which can only mean itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s bikini timeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Kristy, Maria and Carmella looking the hottest by farÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Kristy definitely has the wiggling and spunk downÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Maria looks uncomfortableÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Tracie looks way too overconfident, get rid of herÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Carmella just smiles and blows kisses, crowd seems to be booing herÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Amy has also mastered playing for the crowdÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Joy rips off her tank top but seems lost after that.
IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m still predicting that Tracie is the next to goÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦or maybe Maria.
Pimping for next week: who will be champ? AndÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦the wedding.
Not even a mention of HHH or Eugene yet tonightÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦oh, never mind, thereÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s HHH. Orton is backstage and heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s nervous, so hereÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s HHH with the pep talk. HHH tries to pump Orton up by telling him what the World title means and how much it means for him to be the youngestÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and that Flair didnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t win it until he was 31ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and DAVE Batista (actually called Dave) would give his arm (urgh?)ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦HHHÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s advice: go out there and be Randy Orton. ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œYou know what brought you to the dance, Randy? Evolution.ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â HHH basically saying Evolution will interfere. ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œEvolution is your solution, man.ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â HHH telling Randy that after he beats Benoit Evolution will party in the ringÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Evolution is so kicking OrtonÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s ass tonight.
ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œSurvival of the SicketÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â by Saliva (good song) is the official song for Unforgiven (featuring La Resistance defending their World Tag Team titles against Rhyno & Tajiri!)
World Title: Randy Orton Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â© vs Chris Benoit
Whether Evolution turns on Orton tonight or not, he needs his own music, but I love the Evolution music and heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s the only one who uses it, so I fearÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦immediate points to Orton for wearing the belt the way itÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s SUPPOSED to be worn: around the waistÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Benoit starts things off with some vicious chops and punches, looking more intense than usual (it is possible) tonightÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦crowd very behind BenoitÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Orton has gotten no offense so far and just got hit with a top rope superplexÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Northern Lights for two and Benoit is seriously dominating, on the verge of making Orton look completely weakÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Benoit beating the crap out of Orton outside the ring nowÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦if Orton walks out of here with the title, IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m seriously questioning the logic hereÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦commercial timeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦
ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦weÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re back and Orton is in the Sharpshooter! FINALLY Orton gets some offense, knocking Benoit to the floorÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Orton selling the effects of the SharpshooterÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦no way this match doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t end with Evolution interferenceÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Orton is playing exhaustion well, but is clearly still in it, the mark of experience buildingÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦now theyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re trying to play Benoit as the underdog because of his neck after he just dominated for like fifteen minutesÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Orton loves him them European uppercutsÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Orton hits his trademark reverse chinlock with a twist (I would LOVE if somebody submitted to this)ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦wow, heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s really making the most of this chinlockÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦backbreaker into a neckbreaker by Orton gets twoÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and weÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re back to the chinlockÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦maybe Orton really is exhausted and IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m just really denseÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦another neckbreaker by Orton, heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s really kind of showing his limitations, but IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m still enjoying this match more than the one last night for reasons I donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t fully understandÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Mike SandersÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ old finisher now, which JR calls a ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œmodified neckbreakerÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â meaning Orton has still only used three movesÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Benoit comes back and hits the diving headbuttÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦rolling German suplexes, one, two, threeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and CROSSFACE! Benoit holds on through the rollthroughÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and another roll to the middle of the ringÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and right on schedule, hereÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s EvolutionÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦RKO and Orton wins!
Weird matchÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦all Benoit and then all Orton, not a lot of back and forthÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦gotta say they made Orton look pretty weak here, getting destroyed, coming back with weak and limited offense and then needing help to win.
Evolution celebrationÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦waiting for the turn hereÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦hugs all aroundÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Batista has him up on his shouldersÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦thumbs up by HHHÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and the slow thumbs downÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Batista drops him! Ok, saw that coming, but DAMN cool way to do it! Evolution beating the crap out of Orton and HHH and Flair are TAKING OFF THEIR TIES! ItÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s taking Flair awhile though. HHH holding Orton and talking trash, smacking him aroundÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦HHH nails Orton with the belt and the crowd cheers (toldya)ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Orton is juicing bigtimeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Batista tells Orton heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s nothing without EvolutionÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦long beatdown, but necessaryÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Batista Bomb on OrtonÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦Batista doing the primary beating nowÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦.HHH has the shirt off and deliver the PedigreeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦HHH tells Orton the World title is not HISÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦and weÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re done.
THE SMART: The IWC has forgiven HHH a great deal for the last few years because heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s been wrestling like his 2000 self since Wrestlemania, but theyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re still on a hair trigger whenever he gets within sniffing distance of the main event. HeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s been a team player so far for 2004, but the smarts are like jackals ready to pounce on his every move. TheyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll accept him wrestling Benoit because they have somebody to root for or wrestling Eugene because they donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t care, but against Orton, a guy who doesnÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t fit into the category of smart hero or non-factor at the moment, theyÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢re going to turn on him hard.
THE MARK: HHH remains the most over guy in WWE as far as the marks are concerned. HeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s wrestling well and thatÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s all they care about, plus heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s been around and heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s their link to the halcyon days of Stone Cold and The Rock. If WWE puts Orton in a feud with HHH, the crowd is going to cheer HHH unless he does something extremeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦will he?
THE MEAN: HHH canÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t play the face, he simply canÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t; if heÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s going to feud with Orton he needs to figure out a way to make Orton the crowd favorite and get himself hated. He can certainly do it; he is the smartest man in wrestling, love him or hate him. This is HHHÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s chance to create a babyface to lead WWE into their next boom period, and he would love to be able to put that on his resume.
Well, there we go. Gotta say, not a great start to Randy Orton as face champ; he had some cred coming off the clean win over Benoit but then they blew it by making him look so weak in the main event. StillÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦hell of a beatdown.
Was it a good show? Honestly, IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m just so exhausted from never having done thisÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â¦but I had fun, and hopefully you did, so that makes a good show!
IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢m out, hope you enjoyed.
In the mean time, thanks for reading.