Q: I am a big fan of Independent Wrestling. Do you think that Sandman will go back to the Indy feds now that he is no longer with WWE?–Red Nulleo, Pittsburgh, PA
A: I don’t f*cking know. What do I look like, Sandman’s mother? Seriously, do you think I’m Sandman’s mom? Is it the man breasts and the cane I use? You’ve got some f*cking nerve Red. I need that cane to support my weight due to my obesity.
Seriously, just because I have insider knowledge of the business you think I give a shit what happens to these douchebags after they get fired? Most of them make fun of me. The ones who don’t just regard me as a leech on the business and ignore me. I don’t get news items from friends, I have to pay for it. Assholes. I built some of their careers with my newsletter and they treat me like I have leprosy. I hope all these motherf*ckers get eighty concussions and hang themselves.
Sorry! I’m sorry, I just got some late breaking news from one of my inside sources about Sandman. Sandman’s next public appearance will be this Sunday in Hell where he’ll be blowing me. Again, big news, Sandman is going to blow me in Hell. If any of you smart mark fags have similar questions you can climb the stairs out of your parent’s basement and go to their bedroom where you’ll find me f*cking your mom.