In the interest of actually doing one of these things again (and not having to watch the show to do so), here are ten knee jerk reactions to TNA’s latest 2 hours of advertising and occasional wrestling on the Spike Television Network before it airs! If I can actually get back to my PC between now and when no one cares at all, I’ll see if actually watching the show
I’d explain why I haven’t been around the last two weeks to do these, but I don’t even care, so why should you? Here are the thoughts already:
1. The Motor City Machine Guns job again, to LAX in a qualifying match for Monster’s Ball. After having just seen MCMG/Briscoes II this weekend, that annoys me even more than usual, even if it should be a solid match. At least they won’t be stuck in the Monster’s Ball, althought that probably means they’ll be in a reverse battle royal or some other overbooked, “let’s get everybody on PPV” nonsense if they even get on BFG at all.
2. Apparently LAX tells Cornette they don’t care about Monster’s Ball and want Beer Money instead. Way to sell that product, guys! It pays off later, but having one of your most over acts bury one of your biggest gimmick matches is dumb. It’s like having Shawn Michales qualify for Money in the Bank and then say “I don’t care about this at all and want to fight Jericho.” It does at least lead to Monster’s Ball becoming a four way for the tag titles, but that still strikes me as a dumb thing.
3. They’re turning Kurt’s interview at the UK Sun in to an angle. Or the whole “Kurt shoots on TNA” thing was a work. Either way, it’s a shoot! That’s a work! Or, as a friend of mine called in when Vince Russo did all this crap in 2000 in WCW, a “woot!” In other news, Russo has not had an original idea since 1998.
4. I like the angle with Abyss being forced in to hardcore matches against his will and his being really conflicted about it. It’s interesting. Of course, I found the underpinnings of his feud with Sting and Jim Mitchell interesting, too; the whole fighting over his soul aspect between born again Sting and pretty much the devil Mitchell, and we all know how retarded that became.
5. They’re building to a Christian/AJ match pretty well, it looks like; gotta give them that. That’s a relatively fresh singles match, at least on PPV, and one I could see watching BFG for.
6. Rhaka Khan was ODB’s mystery partner against the Beautiful People. What? I said spoilers! So, she’s getting a push? She’s imposing and everything, looking like the Great Khali compared to the other girls, but I have no idea if she can work or if this means she’s getting a push. Since these are spoilers and I haven’t watched the show. Really, with each week of Knockouts stuff lately, I just miss Gail Kim in TNA a whole lot. Hopefully she gets a good run in WWE, if she winds up there after all; she deserves it.
7. Drop everything! I just got to the part in the spoilers where it says that Foley and Angle are having a mic face off on tonight’s show! That’s a dream match they can actually pull off! Since you, know, they don’t have to wrestle.
8. Further interview off reaction! Kurt taxed even my limits of taste when he mentioned that Jarrett lost his wife too. I know this is a wacky Russo shoot, but come on now. It does help Jarrett maintain his sympathy, which is important, given how much X-Pac heat ushered him off stage in 2006. But totally tasteless. Of course, I didn’t think the Miz and Morrison promo on Cryme Tyme on Monday was racist, so my taste-o-meter is almost broken, I guess.
9. I’m sticking with the interview, because that’s really interesting to me. Well, it was, until I find out that Mick’s going to be the special enforcer at BFG in the Angle/Jarrett match. I fell asleep five times writing that, so underwhelming that is. So, yeah, that’s the TNA I know and am constantly lukewarm to. That makes me pretty much their biggest supporter here, where the poles are WWE Markdom and Skinny Indie Boy Cheerleading, doesn’t it?
10. Cursory X-Divison Title Match Mention: Sheik Abdul Bashir Mustafa Muhammad Hassan Skandar Akbar Davari, the Sheik of the Twin Cities (his full name) defeated Eric Young and Jimmy Rave in a three way, so he dealt a serious blow against America by defeating our two dorkiest workers. That’s like Al Qaeda targeting a double bill by Carrot Top and Paulie Shore at the Chuckle Hutt, but hey, he had to start his holy war somewhere, right?
Added Bonus Thought:
(Goes to)11. Was the X-Division seriously the hottest thing in mainstream wrestling a few years back? It seems pretty damn impossible that that ever happened now. I mean, I say that a lot, but TNA keeps finding new ways to create cognitive dissonance between the glory days of ‘02-’06 and now.
So, I got the requisite bile at TNA out of my system, and I didn’t even have to watch it. This must be how Andy Wheeler feels all the time. It’s a pretty cathartic feeling, really.
*sigh*
Yet another column bashing TNA. Lord knows the fed isn’t perfect but they are trying to build an overarching storyline that at least makes sense.
And yes, it has been done before, but show me an angle that hasn’t.
I enjoy this site and you guys do good work, but could you please give the TNA column duties to someone who is at least neutral about the fed and is open to the idea that at least a few things may be working?
Adam,
If you can find a discerning wrestling fan who loves the mat game enough to donate his personal time to writing for this site, but who ALSO isn’t completely fried on how crappy TNA has consistently been for far too long, well… I’d like to meet that gentleman.
When TNA made it to network television I was thrilled to see something besides WWE. TNA had the makings of a great show. I have said it before and I will say it again — TNA blew it. They went to a two-hour time slot and suddenly TNA becomes a mini WWE. They had great talent but didn’t use that talent, they dumped the X-Division and added a Knockout Division.
And last night TNA went from bad to disgusting. I cannot believe Jeff Jarrett allowed the “I’m not the only one who lost a wife” line that came out of Angle’s mouth. Russo must be watching WWE and copying everything he can find. If you recall, the same kind of useless garbage appeared regarding Jeff Hardy’s deceased canine companion.
Oh, and Vinny…gentleman? Excuse me? There are some female fans here, too. Now I have to ask again if there isn’t someone close enough to Vinny to smack him for me.
Point taken, Miss Norine. I should have said, “that lady or gentleman.” My humblest apologies.
However, I’m still far too distant for a stateside smackdown. If anyone feels like paying me a visit here in the Land of the Morning Calm, I know a few good Korean restaurants…
Vinny
- I respect that. Maybe you guys should consider not doing any TNA columns for a while. It strikes me as a little counterproductive to have some write a column that we pretty much know is going to say “TNA sucks.”
As for the whole “Angle/Wife” thing, it was probably too far (if such a thing exists in pro wrestling).
It is probably Russo and Co. taking their desire to create a “realistic” storyline, like what is going on with Jericho/HBK or the whole Age of the Fall/Aries thing.
But to me, however, this whole young/old storyline is the second most interesting angle happening right now. Granted it comes a FAR second to Jericho/HBK but it does have potential.
And yes, TNA has squandered potential angles before but again what fed hasn’t?
So again, if you don’t have a roster of writers right now that aren’t burned out on TNA (an understandable problem) then just don’t write anything. It’s not like you have to.
As a wrestling fan, I come around this site to read opinions on feds I want (WWE, TNA) and feds I don’t get to see on a regular basis (ROH) but again, the key is opinions. And the fact is right now there is only one opinion on TNA, that it sucks and is squandering it’s potential.
I can respect that viewpoint, but there are others and until you can provide those then just drop TNA.
Anyone else agree that one of TNA’s problems is the ring?? I saw parts of the Booker T match last night, and like all TNA matches, it just seems odd when they whip into the ropes and come back all quick because of the shorter tighter ropes, instead of being able to take that extra second or two to be able to set up the opponents move??? What, exactly is the benefit of the six sided ring besides looks???
Adam,
Pulse Wrestling doesn’t exist to only bring the happy and smiley, we’re here to discuss all of professional wrestling. So if something is bad about the biz today we not only have the right but the obligation to discuss it honestly.
Your “if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything” approach would be inappropriate for this site.
I have to disagree with you; it IS like we “have to”. Our charter is to provide the best, widest coverage of the sport that we can, so ignorning TNA just because it isn’t entertaining right now would be like NBC failing to cover the recent VP debate because there were no embarassing gaffes by either nominee.
It simply isn’t up to us – TNA is part of the current landscape for better or worse, and if we were to write anything other than the truth about our thoughts and opinions, we’d be doing a disservice to our readership.
I’m sorry that TNA sucks right now – we all are. It’s frustrating because they have the tools to be so much better, but the seem to CHOSE not to be the real wrestling alternative in mainstream US promotions.
But it is what it is, and so that’s what we report.
Vinny,
To use, your VP debate analogy, if the only thing NBC had to say about the debate was “Palin Sucked” or “Biden Sucked” and then kept saying that thing week after week, then it would become a bit predicatable.
I respect your charter to provide the best and widest coverage but you kinda undercut that message when you say “TNA sucks” because what you are actually saying is “all the writers we have thinks TNA sucks and therefore, it does.”
I’m not proposing a “say nice or say nothing” approach. You should write what you feel. But I’m saying that you should at least consider the idea that you are falling into the IWC group think that has bought us such classic as:
Cena Sucks
HHH Sucks
Etc.
Well, here’s the thing Adam –
Right now based on output vs. potential, TNA sucks. If many other “IWC” folks are in a group that agrees, perhaps you should consider the legitimancy of that opinion.
TNA falls so far short of where they could be, it’s shocking. If you’re looking for a lot of positive reporting on TNA, I don’t know where you might turn.
Also, Pulse Wrestling writers do far more than the equivalent of merely stating “Palin Sucked”. We provide loads of analysis, suggested improvements, constructive criticism, and everything short of begging and pleading for Russo and friends to get their collective acts together.
That’s the best we can do with the rubbish TNA slops onto our trays week in and week out.
And what if all the writers on our staff DO think TNA sucks right now? We’re primarily a bunch of knowledgable, experienced FANS of pro wrestling with a wide array of favorite styles and promotions, so if we’re all singing the same tune about a particular company, it might just be that we’re on to someting…
Adam-
I’m going to be completely honest and Matt can mod me for it later. We can’t keep a regular TNA columnist to save our lives. Everyone quits, usually very quickly. When TNA fans send in sample columns, they tend to be sub-literate. I wish that was a generalization based off nothing, but I’ve seen many of these samples. We simply cannot find anyone neutral or better who can write at all and who is willing to cover TNA. We have three puro guys, four or more indy guys and a plethora of WWE guys, that really says something about the product. I really, really tried to cover TNA fairly and by the end of my 10 thoughts tenure I just wanted the company to explode in a black hole of suck. We’ll keep trying to bring you more and better TNA coverage, but the situation above still stands and we still have to cover it until then, pressed into duty writers or otherwise.