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Smack YOU! – May 1, 2009

Yes it has been a very long time since I last reviewed Smackdown (Nearly 3 years) but my time has freed up a bit what with university coming to a close so I decided to fill the Smackdown vacancy here on Pulse Wrestling.

From Madison Square Garden

Show opens with a video hyping the four way main event

Chris Jericho joins us in a freaking awesome suit to unleash some promoage on the unsuspecting public. His general thoughts, people are hypocrites and ignorant to his amazing talent. Pretty much got the jaded New Yorkers there. He’s taking over and Smackdown is now his show but this of course leads to another guy interrupting him, with his music playing just as he comes out. Ah, wrestling. Anyway, the guy in question is Edge who looks somewhat unimpressed. Edge mocks Jericho for losing the World Title to John Cena and gloats about his victory at Backlash. Edge verbally tearing strips off Jericho is pretty funny stuff. Fans are kind of on his side until he declares the Air Canada Centre as more important than MSG. Who cares? Jericho is not best pleased but, before he can retort, CM Punk, looking like he just escaped from the nearest soup kitchen, comes out to crash the party. Punk plays footage of him beating Edge for the World Title last year but Jericho cuts in before he can elaborate. Jericho says no one cares about Punk and declares himself the best in the world. I hope that one day he says that and “The Final Countdown” plays allowing me and the other 5 WWE fans who know who Bryan Danielson is to have a seizure of joy. Jericho tells Punk to bugger off, being that he isn’t champ and all, but Punk ignores him causing Jericho to throw a fit and storm off. Edge tries to storm out as well but Punk blocks his path and tells him that they have a match tonight. But wait! Punk has a master plan, that being he’ll beat Edge non-title and then cash it in straight after. That’s one hell of a master plan!

John Morrison Vs Shelton Benjamin

Benjamin hammers away to start and chucks Morrison outside. Morrison comes back with some punches and a dropsault. Dragon Whip is ducked but Yakuza Kick is not allowing Shelton to take over. Morrison fights out of a rest hold and gets a leaping side kick followed by a straight kick to the face for two. Backbreaker allows Shelton back in but Morrison fires back with a springboard side kick and the Moonlight Drive for the win

WINNER – JOHN MORRISON

*1/2 – Too short to be anything more and the rest hold wasn’t really needed. I’m still not sure about Morrison as a face but I’ll give it some time before I dismiss it.

Clips of MVP on The View. The show looks very much like “Loose Women” over here in the U.K (i.e. crap). Still, it gets the WWE some mainstream attention so huzzah.

Chris Jericho is backstage complaining to Teddy Long about many things. Great Khali interrupts and Jericho skedaddles.

Fatal Four Way Elimination Match
#1 Contendership for Judgment Day
Rey Mysterio Vs Kane Vs Chris Jericho Vs Jeff Hardy

Everyone goes for Kane to start and that goes as well as you’d expect. Kane gives Jericho a big boot and squashes Rey in the corner. Side Slam on Rey gets two. Kane continues to beat everyone up and presses Rey onto Jeff and Jericho on the outside.

Commercial

We’re back with Kane leaping at Jeff from the top. Jeff gets a dropkick to block that and Rey follows that with a springboard leg drop for two. Jericho gets a tilt a whirl on Rey for two. Jeff follows that with a neckbreaker on Jericho for another near fall. A Jeff rana is countered into the Walls of Jericho but Kane breaks that up. Rey tries the 619 on Kane but Jericho breaks that up. Jeff gets the Swanton on Kane but Jericho steals the pin just to be a Jerk.

Jericho Pins Kane.

Kane lays everyone out being the ever present poor sport. Rey gives Jericho a 619 but springboards into a chair for the DQ.

Jericho is disqualified

Commercial

Rey and Jeff go at it with Rey getting a dropkick for two. Jeff avoids a second dropkick and gets a seated one of his own for two. Jeff fires up the crowd but misses a splash in the corner. Jeff recovers and tries a sunset flip but Rey rolls through and kicks him in the face for another two count. Both men think cross body and wipe each other out. Jeff is up first but Rey boots him in the face. Jeff catches a moonsault but the Twist of Fate is countered to a roll up that is countered to ANOTHER roll up for two. These are some hot near falls. Rey dodges the corner seated dropkick and gets roll up for two which Jeff counters for another two. Rey gets the 619 but Jeff counters the springboard senton with a roll up to get the three.

WINNER – JEFF HARDY

*** – Pretty fun throughout and the Jeff/Rey part at the end was excellent stuff. Jeff was probably the best babyface candidate for the title shot but I’m not sure if they’ll be able to convince us he’ll win with just 3 weeks to build it. I may be wrong but this title defence feels very throwaway right now.

Meanwhile, Jericho backstage looking for Teddy Long but still finds time to insult Maria. Edge shows up and complains to Maria before storming off. Is this honestly the most effective use of Maria that they can find?

Cryme Time come out for some shenanigans. The shenanigans would seem to be a dance contest with some divas. Oh joy. Layla, looking quite nice, would appear to be one contestant and Eve would appear to be the other. Layla demands to go first and seems to have an epileptic fit mid ring. Eve follows with something that resembles an air traffic controller. Layla fights back with the splits but Eve comes back with the splits and a cartwheel. Oh yeah that’s some uber pwnage right there! Eve would appear to win and Layla isn’t happy. Great, now we can see them wrestle. If either one of them was actually any good I’d be pretty excited.

MVP is backstage with Sherri something from The View. They seem amped up for tonight.

WWE United States Championship
Champion – MVP w/ Sherri Shepherd
Vs
Challenger – Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler gets some cheap heat by saying he’s going to win the title tonight…in New Jersey. Shepherd at least seems excited to be here, which is more than other “celebrity” guests seem to be. MVP shines on Dolph to start but gets low bridged outside. Dolph tries to force a handshake on Shepherd but MVP proves to be her knight in shining latex and puts a stop to that. Dolph gets a cheapshot as MVP comes back in to take over. Crowd get behind MVP in a rest hold and he fights back with an electric chair. MVP gets the overhead belly to belly but Ziggler kicks out his leg and pounds away. Shepherd comes onto the apron to complain and gives Ziggler a slap. MVP fires up and gets the BALLIN Elbow for two. MVP swats away a Ziggler dropkick and gets the Playmaker for the win.

WINNER – MVP

** – I quite enjoyed this actually. With more time and a prolonged shine and heat segment it could have been even better.

Jericho is yelling at Teddy Long in the corridor. Morrison interrupts and gets slapped so a brawl erupts. I’m all for that feud.

Edge Vs CM Punk

Lock up leads to some shoving. Punk tries the GTS but Edge uses the ropes to block. Punk gets a couple of two’s and heads up top but Edge tries to pull him down. Punk counters and drops Edge’s throat on the top rope. Punk goes to the well again and this time Edge is able to cut him off and take over. Punk gets dropped mid section first on the top rope as we take a break.

Commercial

Punk is firing off some punches as we come back but Edge quickly gets a knee to the gut to regain control. Edge chokes Punk on the ropes but misses a charge allowing Punk to get back in the game with a mule kick. Punk unleashes the strikes on Edge and tries the GTS but Edge counters. Edge ducks the spinning back fist and gets a half nelson face crusher for two. Edge preps for the Spear but Punk blocks with a kick and gets the corner knee/bulldog combo for two. Punk heads up for a clothesline but Edge moves. Punk counters the Spear with a powerslam for two and goes for the GTS but Edge blocks the knee and goes to the Sharpshooter but Punk makes the ropes. Punk counters a suplex and gets the GTS for the win.

WINNER – CM PUNK

**3/4 – Good stuff. Punk tries to cash in the MITB but Umaga runs in to stop that. Umaga beats Punk into Pepsi Paste screwing up his Title chances. Edge tries to maul Punk with the MITB briefcase but Jeff Hardy runs in with a Twist of Fate and Swanton.

Conclusion
Hey I sure picked a good show to return with didn’t I? I’m looking forward to seeing Jericho/Morrison and Umaga/Punk develop. It’ll also be interesting to see how they build the Edge/Hardy match during the next few weeks as well. I still don’t think they have enough time to build it correctly but I’m intrigued enough to want to see how. Until next week, cheerio!

Comments
  1. “I hope that one day he says that and “The Final Countdown” plays allowing me and the other 5 WWE fans who know who Bryan Danielson is to have a seizure of joy.”

    This is beyond stupid. A decent majority of WWE fans now know TNA and ROH and thus have a decent idea who Danielson is. To imply you’re of some elite crowd who knows who he is is completely ignorant.

    Posted by Kurt | May 1, 2009, 11:17 pm
  2. Sorry Kurt, not buying that one. A decent majority of SMART fans know about ROH. Your average WWE fan on the other hand? They might, possibly, know of TNA but even if they do it doesn’t mean they CARE enough about it to know anybody from the promotion.

    In other words, lighten up. The comment isn’t elite, it’s honest. Hell, the only reason I have heard of Danielson is the PWI mags and this website, I’ve never watched a show of ROH in my life. So Final Countdown playing would have no effect on me.

    Posted by Michael Crow | May 2, 2009, 12:53 am
  3. Mr. Crow ha sit bang on. I wasn’t trying to suggest I was some sort of “elite” fan, I was just making a point that the general masses wouldn’t have a clue who Bryan Danielson is. Do you think the average 8 year old in a John Cena shirt knows what Ring of Honor is? I would guess not.

    I’m not saying that’s a bad thing either. Different strokes for different folks. Maybe, in 5-6 years they will, but right now they don’t and they are WWE’s core audience.

    Posted by Michael Fitzgerald | May 2, 2009, 2:33 am
  4. Er, Punk’s masterplan is a bit flawed: He can actually beat Edge one on one anyways, and did, so he’s probably due a title shot anyways (beating the champ is usually a good enough claim for one.) So what reason is there for using up the Mike Rotunda’s Briefcase Of Opportunity?

    Posted by diz | May 2, 2009, 7:53 am
  5. Welcome back, Mikey!

    Posted by Matthew Michaels | May 2, 2009, 8:06 am
  6. The master plan is:

    (a) he wins, and probably with the GTS, as a move that has yet to be kicked out of, means that Edge is likely going to be easy to beat a second time, and unable to ‘cheat to win’

    (b) Edge wins, and the case remains intact.

    It basically was a no-lose scenario for Punk, he either guarantees a win of the title, or loses nothing. Knowing he can beat Edge straight up 1-on-1 is one thing. However, if it was for the title, Edge could weasel out (DQ, CO, etc) and Punk would waste the briefcase. Punk, despite being a face, has always been pretty smart, and wouldn’t expect a fair fight out of Edge, nor would he cash the MitB in on a fair fight (like RVD did, sort of).

    Posted by Walter Kovacs | May 2, 2009, 12:52 pm
  7. I was only mildly interested in seeing Punk/Umaga until I remembered the awesomefest that was Punk/Joe. This could be the feud that makes Umaga interesting again.

    Posted by Beard $ | May 3, 2009, 11:26 am
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