Welcome along to the first of five special Poll Position columns in which this writer intends to go head-to-head with TNA Creative to see who can write the better wrestling show. Given that this is the first in the series, I’m going to take the opportunity to talk about why I decided to do this, what guidelines I’ve set for myself, how it’s going to look, and why my job is much easier than the guys I’m setting myself against.

Why
The main reason is that I’m really tired of having no real alternative to WWE. As a fan, I have an unprecedented amount of access to wrestling through means both legitimate and nefarious, and at any given time I could be watching anything from Ring Of Honor to New Japan to old NWA shows from the eighties. But in all honesty, the mainstream product was what I grew up on, and the mainstream product is what I ultimately prefer watching. WCW and the WWF were what brought me to this particular dance, and my particular preference is for shows that have a bit of everything. I’m as bored watching two hours of straight mat wrestling as I am watching painfully unfunny skits and lame insider references for the same period of time (hey, it’s not Poll Position if there are no shots at DX). While the current WWE product sometimes scratches my itch, what I’d really like to see is a reasonably similar, more mature alternative that skews its focus just a little more towards actual wrestling. And if that alternative happened to have some truly incredible performers on its roster, well, all the better.

TNA routinely pisses me off because it has almost everything it needs to put on memorable wrestling shows on a regular basis. Here’s a promotion with a roster of performers I’d argue is better overall than the WWE’s, a strong partnership with a decent network that shares their key demographic, and a solid financial base. I watch Impact each week and I say to myself, “Why does this suck? There‘s no need or reason for it to be this bad.” And maybe I’m just an internet fan and maybe I don’t know anything about the business and blah blah blah, but it strikes me that the largest part of TNA’s problem is that the storylines and the booking are an embarrassment. Okay, it’s wrestling, and I’m aware that there is a lengthy history of bad gimmicks, unexplained turns, and even entire story arcs disappearing with no explanation, but we notice these things because they‘re glaring. Nobody even comments on the weird shit that happens in TNA these days because it’s all the time.

Even Turning Point, the best show TNA has put on this year by some distance, had much of its basis in nonsensical storylines and booking (which I intend to make use of). What kind of logic, for example, states that Joe and Daniels should main event the PPV because they were in a good match four years ago? If that’s the basis for getting a world title shot, then surely everyone who has ever put on a good match against AJ should now be getting in line. You can make a weak argument for Joe being a contender, but Daniels should be nowhere near the belt. There was a decision made that this was a match people would want to see, it was announced to the fans, and then a story was created not so much to explain it as to give all three guys something to do for three weeks.

Another example would be the turn of Team 3D on Impact a couple of weeks ago, where Brother Ray started the show telling Rhino he was being a ridiculous conspiracy theorist before later turning on Morgan and Hernandez with a chair for no apparent reason, displaying guilt at what he’d done until the next time he appeared on TV, when both he and D-Von had gone full-blown heel. He didn’t actually explain why or how this had happened. One minute Rhino was not just wrong, but idiotically wrong, a jealous nutjob with a chip on his shoulder and conspiracies in his head. The next, he was magically right.

But I’ve talked about Russo and TNA’s creative direction enough in previous columns. Suffice to say this is just an attempt at showing what TNA would look like as a spectacle if that direction was just a little different.

How
The five shows (four episodes of Impact plus the Final Resolution PPV) will be presented in a style that’s a mixture of production, booking, and road agent notes, That is to say that I’ll present it as I’d ultimately like it to look, briefly explain angles where I feel it’s necessary, and restrict match descriptions to a purpose and a finish. I will not hire or fire anyone unless TNA does (though I reserve the right to keep performers off TV), and I will keep continuity with current storylines. Think of this Impact as branching off into an alternative TNA universe. Everything that happened up to and including Turning Point still happened.

I’ll also mention that my show descriptions won’t be including commercials or video packages for stuff like Hogan’s debut or the deal of the day or whatever. You’ll have to assume those are there.

And Finally…
This is fantasy booking and fun. It’s a what-if scenario that’s nothing like being in charge of the booking and creative direction of a wrestling company. For one thing, I don’t have to deal with anybody else’s creative control. If I like it, it goes in, and there’s nobody to tell me what is or isn’t working except you guys. Please take it in that spirit.

The Show
Lights, pyro, cheering. We head down to Mike Tenay and Tazz, who welcome everybody to the Impact Zone and get straight to discussing the two match-ups every TNA fan is talking about. AJ/Joe/Daniels II did not disappoint, with AJ standing up and showing why he’s the TNA Heavyweight Champion, and Angle/Wolfe was a hell of a wrestling match. All the players are here tonight, and the main event will be a re-match from last week’s Impact – Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles. In addition to that, we’ll have comments from Sting on his future and the signing of Hulk Hogan.

With that, we head back to ringside as Daniels makes his way to the ring.

Daniels Promo
“I have to admit I’m a little confused that tonight’s Impact main event is the ‘big rematch’ between Joe and AJ. Seems to me that I was the one who put Joe down for the count last night, I was the one who didn’t get a chance to prove myself one-on-one with the champ two weeks ago because someone decided that Samoa Joe would make a great referee, and I’m the one who deserves a shot for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. No special guest referees, no stipulations, just AJ and I in the ring, best man goes home the champ. I’ve said that we’re still friends, AJ, but I’m starting to wonder whether what this company has done to Christopher Daniels is something you’re okay with.”

At this point, the Motor City Machine Guns music hits. Daniels looks up the ramp as Chris Sabin emerges without his partner. Tenay and Tazz sell not knowing why Sabin’s here or what’s going on as the man himself makes his way to ringside, grabs a microphone, and rolls into the ring to confront Daniels.

Sabin/Daniels Promo
Sabin: “You know, you’re not the only one who’s confused, Daniels. Sitting in the locker room just now, listening to you complain about how everything’s so unfair and how Daniels never gets the breaks, I got confused because I could have sworn I saw you competing in the main event of a pay-per-view for the world title last Sunday. And the more I thought about it, the more it bothered me, not because you have no right to walk out here and waste everybody’s time with your bitching, but because I’m trying to figure out exactly how a man who walked into a main event from nowhere because of a match that happened four years ago can possibly feel like he never gets a break.”

Sabin is clearly angry, standing almost nose-to-nose with Daniels, who doesn’t look like he’s taking too kindly to being called out.

“You see, Daniels, at Bound For Glory, just a few days before the match between you, Joe, and AJ was announced, you and I were in the same Ultimate X match. We both lost. From there, you went straight to the main event, while my partner and I had to get through a couple more matches before we were allowed a shot at The British Invasion in a match that Beer Money got added to despite the fact that they’d already had their last shot at the belts. But do you hear me complaining, Daniels? No. That’s life in this business. Sometimes you play, sometimes you get played. What you do hear me wondering is why it is that you, Daniels, seem to have found your way to the main event because of a great match you had back in 2005. I’ve been putting on great matches in this ring for six years. So I guess the question is, where’s my shot?”

Daniels: “Why are you out here getting in my face? I don’t grant the title shots around here. If anything, we’re in the same situation. Maybe you should be venting your frustrations on somebody who can do something about it.”

Sabin: “I didn’t come out here to vent my frustrations. I came out here to show TNA that I can hang at the highest level. That’s why I’m challenging you. No special referees, no stipulations, just Daniels and Sabin in the ring, best man walks out the winner. It’ll be just like old times.

Daniels: You’re right, it will be just like old times, because I’ll win.

Daniels drops the microphone at Sabin’s feet and climbs out of the ring.

Tenay and Tazz discuss the incident between Sabin and Daniels and what it means for Alex Shelley. This is necessarily brief, as it’s time for tonight’s first match.

Match 1 – “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Rhino
After drawing babyface heat from a Rhino beatdown for much of the match, Dinero dodges a Gore and hits the DDE for a clean pinfall victory. After the match, Team 3D run out and a three-on-one beatdown ensues until Hernandez and Matt Morgan make the save. The heels bail, and the segment ends with the faces checking on The Pope.

Nash Interview
Backstage, Lauren is with Kevin Nash, who still has the TNA Global title in his possession.

Lauren: “I’m here with Kevin Nash, and Kevin, you made some cryptic remarks at Turning Point, stating that your actions during the tag team title match, in which your interference helped The British Invasion retain their titles, were directed by Hulk Hogan.”

Nash: “I said nothing of the kind, Lauren.”

Lauren: “You did.”

Nash: “Nope. Definitely didn’t say anything like that.”

Lauren: “Several times during that interview, you made reference to Hulk…”

Nash: “Hulk. Just Hulk. That’s all I said. I never mentioned Hogan. Come with me.”

Nash walks out of the shot, with Lauren and the camera scurrying to keep up as he makes his way down the hallway and knocks on the door. Someone shouts, “Come in,” and Nash pushes open the door to reveal Rob Terry.

Nash: “What’s up, Hulk?”

Terry nods at Nash, then glares at Lauren. Nash closes the door, smiling.

Nash: “See?”

Lauren: “That‘s Hulk?”

Nash: “Look it up in the dictionary. Hulk. A bulky or unwieldy person, object, or mass. That’s Big Rob Terry.”

Lauren: “Think that’s really funny, don’t you?”

Nash: “No, what’s funny is the way everybody has their panties in a bunch over Hogan. It was a joke. I hit Storm because the Brits made it worth my while, and I took the belt because Eric Young winning it wasn’t part of the deal he made with me to take care of Hernandez. That’s all there is to it. No big mystery.”

Lauren: “Wait a minute. You can’t just take it back. He won it from you in a match.”

Nash: “Can and did, Lauren. Can and did. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some other business to take care of.”

Nash walks away.

Lauren: “What other business?”

Match 2 – Kevin Nash vs. “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal
Tenay puts over the fact that this match was signed earlier today as Lethal insisted that his challenge series continue, despite last week’s pinfall loss to Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. Tazz points out that Nash is a multi-time world champion and the last holder of the Legends title before it was retired, so he fits the bill. Nash wins by pinfall following a powerbomb. It’s basically a squash. After the match, he drags Lethal out of the ring and helps him up the aisle.

Angle/Wolfe Segment
Tenay and Tazz are discussing the match that just occurred and the matches that have been signed for later this evening when Tenay announces that he’s just been told there’s some kind of commotion going on backstage and that they’re trying to get a camera back there. We then cut to a brawl between Kurt Angle and Desmond Wolfe which Wolfe appears to be gaining the upper hand in until security and other workers manage to pull the two apart as Wolfe shouts, “this ain’t over, Angle! We’re not finished!”

Match 3 – Awesome Kong vs. Hamada
A stiff brawl where Hamada gives as good as she gets and comes close to winning the match. Kong finally finishes her with the Implant Buster.

MCMG Segment
We go back to Jeremy Borash, who is looking for Alex Shelley to get comments on the actions of Chris Sabin. We hear voices coming from one of the locker rooms and Borash holds a finger to his lips as he and the camera stand outside.

Sabin: “Alex, these are guys we were mixing it up with just a couple of years ago. You’re objecting to this?”

Alex: “Not objecting. But what about us, man. What about the Guns?”

Sabin: “Look, a match with Daniels doesn’t mean the end of the Guns.”

Alex: “And if you beat him? It’s like you said, he was just in the TNA title match.”

Sabin: “I’m planning on beating him, Alex. You know, some of what Dixie said the other week really hit home for me. I’m one of the guys that built this company, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be left behind when Hogan gets here and all these changes happen. If I were you, I’d give that some thought.”

Sabin walks out, shakes his head at Borash, and walks off camera. JB shrugs and goes into the locker room.

Borash: “Alex Shelley, we couldn’t help but overhear what was said between you and…”

Shelley: “Get out.”

Borash: “But I just wanted to…”

Shelley: “Get out!”

He pushes Borash out the door and slams it closed.

Match 4 – Beer Money vs. Raven & Dr. Stevie w/Daffney
A short match that ends when Abyss hits the ring, drawing the DQ. He beats down Dr. Stevie while Raven and Daffney bail, stumbling up the ramp until Mick Foley emerges, blocking their exit. Foley attempts to throw a fireball at Raven, who dives out of the way. The fire apparently burns Daffney, who falls to the ground, screaming in agony. Raven flees as Storm and Roode check on Daffney and then call for help. Foley stands over them looking shocked. The commentary team sells Daffney’s injuries as paramedics make their way out with a stretcher. From the body language of medical personnel as well as Foley and Beer Money, the injury appears to be serious. Finally, they get Daffney onto a stretcher and out to a waiting ambulance.

Back at ringside, Tazz and Tenay continue to show concern for Daffney’s health and Tenay promises to get an update as soon as possible. Meanwhile, the Knockout Tag Champs are making their way to the ring.

Match 5 – Sarita & Taylor Wilde vs. ODB & Tara
Decent women’s tag match. All four of these gals can go. Miscommunication between ODB and Tara results in ODB being pinned by a Taylor Wilde German Suplex. Tara and ODB argue after the match, but Taylor and Sarita get between them and calm the situation down.

Recap and Main Event build
Tenay and Tazz talk about what has happened so far tonight, recapping Sabin’s challenge to Daniels, the bizarre behavior of Kevin Nash, and the injury to Daffney due to Mick Foley’s misdirected fireball. Tenay reveals that Angle and Wolfe have been removed from the building and that there will be an announcement concerning a match at Final Resolution involving those two men next week. Meanwhile, we have two huge matches still to come as well as Sting’s comments on his future and Hulk Hogan.

Match 6 – Chris Sabin vs. Daniels
This gets a full fifteen minutes, and should bring back memories of the battles they’ve had over the X Division title in the past, except that every time Daniels fails to put Sabin away, he gets more frustrated. Sabin wins the match with a small package and quickly rolls out of the ring before a furious Daniels can attack.

Sting Interview
In a sit down interview with Mike Tenay, Sting talks first about his match at Bound For Glory and about the reaction of the fans in California. He talks about going home and thinking about his options. He still hasn’t decided whether or not he’s going to continue, but even if he does decide to retire, he’ll be back for one last run. The reason for that, he says, is Hulk Hogan. Sting wants to seal his legacy by being a part of the new TNA, and he wants to be the first to shake Hogan’s hand when Hulk comes through the door. They have a lot of history, but they also have a lot in common. When Tenay asks Sting if he’s coming back to face off with Hogan one more time, Sting just smiles.

Match 7 – AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe
This gets a little longer than Sabin and Daniels. It’s a great TV match designed to showcase both guys but particularly AJ, who just barely kicks out of the Muscle Buster and goes on to take the win with a Styles Clash after Joe manages to kick out of the 450 Splash. After the match, Joe holds up his thumb and forefinger to show how close he came to pinning Styles. AJ holds out his hand in a show of respect, and Joe looks at it for several moments before leaving the ring.

End Of Show.