For Your Considerationâ€¦The Baddest RAW On the Planet
Yep, the pun-infused FYC titles are back! I figured it was either this or covering TNA again, and quite frankly I just donâ€™t think I have the constitution to do it another week. But, before I get into the TNA bashing and the RAW recap/commentary-ing, I wanna get my plugs out of the way. First and foremost, I have caved and joined Facebook, officially joining 2004. You can friend me at: http://www.facebook.com/#/profile.php?ref=profile&id=100000654073648. Second, you can follow me on Twitter at twitter.com/awheeler316. Alright, I have to stop self-promoting so I donâ€™t feel like a cheap whore. But enough about Ric Flairâ€¦
Alright, TNA has officially broken my skull. Last week they put on what at best was a mediocre show, yet people seemed to defend that broadcast as if it were their first born child. Do people really hate RAW enough to be THAT illogical? Sure, TNA put on a good Styles/Angle match, but what would you expect from those two? Itâ€™s kinda like how WCW used to toss us a bone and give us a great Cruiserweight match to appease us as we watched 3 hours of n.W.o. Black, Red, Japan and Future Endeavored. Somehow, people seem to suffer like Guy Pierce from â€œMementoâ€ as they would rather watch a rehash of Nitro and claim that itâ€™s new as opposed to call a spade a spade and say that the show just wasnâ€™t good.
TNA accomplished none of its longterm goals on their show last week, but thatâ€™s old news. Everyone that believes it sucks believes it sucks and everyone that thought it was transcendent programming believes it was transcendent programming. Itâ€™s kinda like Fox News; sure theyâ€™re asinine and unwatchable, but there are people that will believe it because they donâ€™t know otherwise.
So thereâ€™s a bigger problem with TNA, and that problem is Hulk Hogan. Something about Hulk showing up in TNA bugged me and I think I cracked what it is. If Hulk Hogan really believed the bullshit he has been spewing, he wouldnâ€™t be on TNA the way that he is. See, Hogan keeps talking about how heâ€™s going to â€œdo it rightâ€ and that thereâ€™s going to be this amorphous â€œchangeâ€, but in all honesty I canâ€™t see how he would ever let it really happen.
Chances are, when Vince McMahon talked to Hulk Hogan, he didnâ€™t just offer him Madison Square Garden. Vince created this Guest GM gimmick to pop the ratings, and while itâ€™s been mildly entertaining some weeks, it hasnâ€™t set the world on fire. When Vince called up Hogan to get involved in wrestling again, he wasnâ€™t calling for a one-off venture. Vince McMahon probably offered the Hulkster a permanent slot as the RAW GM.
Hulk Hogan as RAW General Manager would have allowed him to accomplish all of his bullshit goals. He could have gone out on Monday Nights and promoted the hell out of the young undercard guys like Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne, not to mention have a platform to shill even more yellow and red t-shirts, bandannas and those teddy bear wrestling buddies that everyone used to have. Hell, Hogan could have worked one day a week and earned a bigger paycheck than most of the roster without having to lace up the boots more than twice a year. We would have had Hogan lock horns with Sheamus once and maybe another shot at Orton or Jericho and that would have been it. It would have been win-win because Hulk gets a paycheck and Vince gets a permanent celebrity to steer his flagship program.
Instead, Hulk turned down Vinceâ€™s offer and ran to TNA. Unfortunately, rather than take what Iâ€™m sure would have been the exact same deal, he chose to become a part owner. In short, Hulkster invested his own money into the hemorrhaging cash cow that was TNA. This means that his financial future is inextricably linked to TNAâ€™s success. What does this mean?
Hulk Hoganâ€™s divorce has been a major blow to his wallet. Chances are when youâ€™re contemplating ending it all, youâ€™re bank account is probably running low. Rather than take a guaranteed paycheck from Vince, Hulk (under the guidance of Eric Bischoff, the captain of the S.S. Sycophant) decided to throw his money and his weight behind TNA. His return to wrestling is not in his best interest, and itâ€™ll become clearer as the weeks progress.
Eric Bischoff wanted another chance to topple McMahon and prove that his run in WCW wasnâ€™t a colossal fuck-up, so heâ€™s willing to drag down Hogan with him. Everyone in TNA seems hellbent on proving Vince McMahon wrong, which isnâ€™t the proper motivation to create successful television.
In order for Hogan to see a return on his investment, he has to go with the plan that, to him, makes sense. That plan doesnâ€™t mean pushing young guys to their fullest. Donâ€™t believe me? Go back and watch WCW and tell me Iâ€™m completely wrong. In one show, Hulk Hogan showed that his creative muscle is only flexed based on muscle memory. Over the course of three hours, he wheeled out the Nasty Boys, the n.W.o., Sting and Ric Flair. They, to him, seem like great short-term solutions to get fans to tune in. Apparently he thinks that the audience consists of lemmings that are willing to just run back towards wrestling because they see mildly familiar faces. Really? Because that worked so well for Vince in the early 00â€™s and worked gangbusters for TNA so far.
Hulk Hoganâ€™s future financial stability rests on the shoulders of his trusted soldiers. And can you blame him? The New World Order made tons of money, Sting made tons of money and Ric Flair made tons of money. Is Hogan willing to gamble on the shoulders of Samoa Joe and the Motor City Machine Guns? I doubt it.
TNA is somehow in worse shape now than they were a few weeks ago. Yes, they got the instant notoriety of Hogan and they got a ton of press and even a halfway decent rating, but so what? TNA doesnâ€™t have a strong heel to dominate their program, which leaves the door wide open for Hall, Nash and X-Pac. On top of that, they have too many â€œbig namesâ€ for everyone to not feel marginalized. Case in point, look at Lashley. Whereâ€™s his spot on the roster? If heâ€™s a heel, heâ€™s below the n.W.o. Even worse, look at Kurt Angle. Kurt is no longer the top star on the show, and with the exception of Styles, Joe and Daniels, where is his next great challenge coming from? If I were Angle, I would be on the phone with Vince trying to negotiate a slot back on television. My guess is McMahon would be willing to overlook his past and suddenly RAW or Smackdown seems fresh again.
People have made a big deal about Jeff Hardy being poorly treated in his return to TNA. Look, Jeff may be a main event star, but where else were they going to put him? TNA canâ€™t afford to put Hardy in the main event scene because they have Styles and Angle in their fake main event while they have Jarrett, Foley and Hogan in the real main event. On top of that, what if Jeff does in fact get busted? Canâ€™t have him main eventing a PPV on a Sunday and showing up in prison on Monday, can they? See, this is why WWE canâ€™t sign Hardy, heâ€™s too much of a liability. It makes sense for TNA to use Jeff to fill out the midcard for the time being, because he doesnâ€™t have another option and the looming case against him means heâ€™ll need some cash. Exploiting Jeff and using him for their midcard may be the smartest move TNA is doing. Aside from hiring Orlando Jordan. Heâ€™s gonna put some butts in the seats.
â€œItâ€™s not overâ€¦â€
We start off with the RAW Nickelback opener and Iâ€™m already looking for a sharp object to puncture my ear drums.
Thereâ€™s pyro and ballyhoo and welcome to 1998 RAW with Mike Tyson!
It takes Cole three seconds to make a boxing pun by saying itâ€™s a â€œbig fightâ€ feel and a â€œknockoutâ€ night. I hope Tyson kills him, or at the very least rapes him. Justin Roberts calls Tyson the most iconic star and here he comes. Just a little comparison, when he showed up twelve years ago, he was in a suit and had an entourage. Now heâ€™s dressed like Turtle from â€œEntourageâ€.
Mike has the microphone and no handlers to protect him from himself. Tyson says itâ€™s gweat to be back, and the fans give him a decent pop. Last time he was there was memorable, and sure enough, we get a video replay of him in â€™98. Jesus, I canâ€™t believe that was 12 years ago. I am so old. I remember watching that episode like it was yesterday.
We get footage of Tyson knocking out Shawn Michaels and the beginning of the Austin Era, so I bet Shawnâ€™s coming out. I guess its two weeks in a row of Shawn making amends. The fans chant â€œYou Screwed Shawnâ€, which is great. Tyson gets interrupted by Sheamus, who sadly seems to have abandoned his jaunty Mickie James-esque hat.
Cole compares Sheamus to Tyson in that they are bout barbaric and ran roughshod. Also, neither of them can cut a convincing promo. â€œDo aye hear dad write?â€ Sheamus says that Tyson isnâ€™t an icon, but rather â€œnuthun but a washed up ex champhun. Aye um de double ya double ya eye champun.â€ Sheamus says that heâ€™s the baddest man on the planet but Mike lunges at him and he jumps back. Sheamus dares him to do it again, but suddenly I hear voices.
Randy Orton is coming out, and is this the beginning of his tweener push? Not gonna lie, this might be the time to test him as a face that acts like a heel. Orton says that heâ€™s not interested in creating a Sportscenter moment but rather he wants the WWE Title that he tried to kill people over before forgetting about it altogether and feuded with a guy from Ghanna. Orton asks to be Sheamusâ€™s opponent at the Rumble, but he gets interrupted by John Cena. Guess weâ€™re getting two triple threat matches at the Rumbleâ€¦because that did wonders for Survivor Seriesâ€™ buyrate.
Cena asks for a shot at the Royal Rumble before mocking Sheamusâ€™s accent. Cena points out that he beat Sheamus the last time they fought. Cena said he beat everyone in the ring. Apparently he even beat Mike Tysonâ€¦at NES. Not gonna lie, my inner child is cheering. That little bastard.
Kofi Kingston is coming out now, showing that the marijuana policy on RAW is not being enforced. Clearly Kofi is high and has wandered out to the ring. Randy reminds us that Kofi jobbed to him last week, but apparently that means nothing because even though Cena and Orton had tons of title shots, Kofi hasnâ€™t had a single one. Neither has JTG but thatâ€™s neither here nor there. Kofi demands a shot but the fans start chanting for â€œRandyâ€. Kingston wonâ€™t take no for an answer, which is music to Tysonâ€™s ears.
Sheamus says that heâ€™s a better world champion than Tyson, so he wants the Rumble off. Who does he think he is? Hogan? Sheamus says that everyone has to earn it at the Rumble. Tyson said that he never ducked a fight in his life-coughbullshitcough-and thus he books a triple threat match tonight between Kofi, Cena and Orton. Tysonâ€™s music hits, and it sounds suspiciously like Visceraâ€™s. Thankfully no giant black man in purple pajamas.
We get slo-mo replays of Vince hitting Bret Hart in the nuts, complete with a â€œRetribution?â€ graphic. Ooh, intrigue.
Did you know? RAW was the #1 Cable Show last week? Yes, I did.
Weâ€™re back and itâ€™s Diva Tournament Excitement! Jerry â€œGold Shirtâ€ Lawler and Michael â€œLeisure Suitâ€ Cole feign excitement as Kelly Kelly comes down to the ring. Her opponent is Alicia Fox, who should be wearing a black armband after her terrible former partner DJ Gabriel got the Future Endeavored Axe.
Cole says that this should be an entertaining match, showing that he is a perennial optimist. Alicia drives Kellyâ€™s head into the turnbuckle, and I will give these gals credit that they have seemed to improve in the ring. On a side note, donâ€™t look now but the potentially terrible Layla/McCool/Phoenix/James feud on Smackdown has become legitimately intriguing and entertaining television.
Kelly flips Alicia out of the ring before hitting a crossbody off the apron to the outside! Someone needs to tell her that sheâ€™s pretty and can build a solid career based on lingerie pillow fights. Donâ€™t believe me? Check out Keibler on â€œHow I Met Your Mother.â€ Alicia Fox catches Kelly and hits an impressive looking powerbomb for the pin.
Later tonight, Cena, Kofi and Orton face off tonight to fight Sheamus at the Rumble. See TNA, THAT is how you promote a main event. Maybe if fans knew that Styles and Angle were wrestling last Monday, more people would have tuned in. Alright, Iâ€™ll get off their back. This is the last time Iâ€™ll bury them tonight (unless something else comes up).
Weâ€™re back in Minneapolis in January, which I can imagine is nice and warm. We get to see John Cenaâ€™s Fiesta Bowl coin flip from last Monday Night and Cena just seems like a major star at events like this.
Weâ€™re back (how can you be back from being back, I wonder) and here comes Legacy. Well since thereâ€™s only one other team on RAW (Team Random Black Guys), I wonder who theyâ€™ll face. Oh wait, thereâ€™s also Bourne and Primo as Team Jobber.
Cody says that last year Legacy was three-fourths of the final four at the Royal Rumble. Teddy says that this year itâ€™ll be him. Teddy then plugs â€œMarine 2: Electric Boogalooâ€ before Cody says that his fifth grade graduation was better than â€œThe Marine.â€ Fair enough, but thatâ€™s only because Dusty did commentary. Dusty also booked himself to be fifth grade valedictorian.
Their opponents areâ€¦Mark Hey-Hey-Henry and Evan Bourne?! Zuh? Team Random Black Jobber? Hey, at least it isnâ€™t Primo.
Bourne and Teddy start it out and Cole informs us that all four men in this match are in the Royal Rumble. Also? All four of these men will be eliminated in the Royal Rumble.
Teddy launches Bourne to the outside where Cody picks him apart as Cole and Jerry (who sounds like he has laryngitis) talk about how the Rumble could tear Legacy apart. You know, unlike everything theyâ€™ve done over the past several months to over-tease their inevitable implosion.
Cody is in now and heâ€™s beating on Bourne. Cole calls him Roadie by accident, and I have a momentary heart attack at the thought of Jesse James doing a run-in. Bourne goes for a hot tag but gets caught by Cody so he pulls out enziguri kick and tags in Henry. Mark lays out Cody and Bourne goes for AirBourne but Teddy breaks it up. Long story short, Henry winds up outside and Cody hits CrossRhodes for the pin.
DX are in the back in new DX football jerseys and Hunter said that Shawn has a bad idea. Apparently Shawn feels that since he made peace with Bret Hart, he wants to make peace with Mike Tyson. Hunter says that Tyson is insane, certifiable and the man that knocked Shawn out. Hey, that punch kept Shawn out of the ring for years. Well, that and a bad back. But mainly the punch.
ECW Battle Royal tomorrow night, where the winner gets a slot at the Rumble against Christian. My moneyâ€™s on anyone not from the ECW roster. I mean, why else would they go through all of this just to promote from within?
Weâ€™re back and Shawn and Tyson are in the back. Michaels says that after getting closure with Bret Hart, he wants tonight to get closure with Tyson. Shawn says that he forgives Mike Tyson for knocking him out but Tyson says that he doesnâ€™t need forgiveness because he liked knocking Shawn out and wants to do it again. Chris Jericho shows up and says that he and Tyson are kindred spirits.
Apparently tonight DX has a match and if they lose, Jericho can appear on any show. Tonight itâ€™s DX against Chris Jericho and Mike Tyson. Is it possible he didnâ€™t mean Tyson Kidd? No, he really meant Mike Tyson.
Cole is all giddy as he has decided to oversell his terrible commentary to pass off his genuine terribleness as an act. Cole then throws us to a Bret Hart video package.
Weâ€™re back and Jack Swagger is running in circles in the middle of the ring. Jack Swagger has a newsflash: heâ€™s gonna win the Royal Rumble and main event Wrestlemania. Yeah, and monkeys might fly outta my butt.
Jack Swagger guarantees that no one on any show has the ability to eliminate him. Swagger issues an All American American American American Challenge to see if anyone thinks they can throw him over the top rope.
This challenge has been answered by Santino and I wish I could fast forward. At least the Minnesota crowd is booing the hell out of him. Santino calls for the bell and he hammers away on Swagger before being driven into the corner. Thankfully Swagger is squashing him before hitting the running second rope Vader Bomb. Swagger goes to toss Santino over the top rope but the momentum takes HIM over in a bit of cruel irony that was not at all something we could see coming!
We get a replay of Austin and Tyson in the ring, unfortunately without JRâ€™s â€œTyson and Austin! Tyson and Austin! Tyson and Austin!â€ call. How is that not yet a ringtone?
Weâ€™re back with another graphic hyping our main event.
Its 10pm, which means Cole has to remind us weâ€™re watching RAW. If you thought you were watching â€œEverybody Loves Raymondâ€, you clearly own a time machine. And youâ€™re an idiot.
Speaking of idiots, Randy Orton has applied yet another layer of baby oil because this match has major implications! Major! The winner of this match gets to face a potential paper champion at a major PPV.
Kofi is out next and his pyro is still intact because heâ€™s now almost a main eventer. Ya know, as long as you forget about him jobbing to Orton. A lot.
Finally, here comes the Chaâ€¦llenger. See, because Iâ€™m so used to calling him the Champ. Because he holds the title a lot.
Here we go with what could be a main event in any arena in the country (I still miss Gorilla Monsoon, so sue me) and I am actually happy they are letting Sheamus defend his title at the Royal Rumble. Itâ€™s nice because the buyrate for Rumble hinges on the Royal Rumble match itself as opposed to whatever title match we get. Hey, if the WWE ran Holly/Lesnar and didnâ€™t implode, anything can happen.
Kofi and Cena take turns beating on Orton and the fans seem kinda confused. The audience desperately wants to hate John Cena, and theyâ€™re so enamored with loving Randy Orton that they donâ€™t wanna root for Kofi, so they are just kinda quiet. And of course, as I type this, the Cena marks start their chant. Hey Minneapolis fans, youâ€™re making me look stupid. Panda jerks.
Cena and Kofi are now face-to-face and we get a long tease of them locking up but Sheamus walks out from the curtain holding his title and Orton slithers in from behind to take both men out. Ortonâ€™s stomps are so fierce that I think even Iâ€™m fading to black. No, waitâ€¦itâ€™s just aâ€¦
Weâ€™re back and Randy Orton had a headlock on Kofi as Cena is apparently dying on the outside due to exciting action during the commercial break. Iâ€™m not an evil genius like Randy Orton, but if I were one, wouldnâ€™t I want my two opponents to kill one another?
Cena tries to get in the ring but eats the second rope DDT before Randy gets caught with a flying crossbody off the top rope from Kingston for two. Orton drops Kofi but Cena comes out of nowhere with the bulldog but charges Orton and hits the steel post. Kingston hits the SOS and again Cole starts asking a rhetorical question as to whether or not Kofi will win as Orton has already kicked out.
Kofi goes for the Boom Boom Boom but Cena grabs him and locks in the STFU. Orton breaks it up as Cole lets us know that he did it not for Kofi but for himself. Right, we get it, heâ€™s a heel. Doesnâ€™t mean the fans arenâ€™t gonna cheer for him. Cena starts the Five Moves of Mediocrity, capping it off with the Five Knuckle Shuffle and an FU attempt that is broken up by Kingston. Kofi hits a dropkick and a leaping chop and Cole hammers home that controlled frenzy nonsense as he hits Boom Boom Boom on Cena. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise but Cena gets knocked to the outside.
Cody Rhodes shows up and kicked the steel steps into Cenaâ€™s head. Teddy rolls in from behind and takes out Kingston. Randy hits the RKO for the pinfall and heâ€™s the #1 Contender. Randy keeps yelling that someone was stupid and seems legit pissed off for some reason. Maybe Kofi botched something.
Sheamus smiles and it appears that he cut himself shaving. Seriously, when does he not have unsightly red welts on his body?
Well, weâ€™re getting Sheamus/Orton at Rumble, and if it stands, that should be interesting.
Josh Matthews asks why Tyson did it but then the fucking midget shows up andâ€¦PLEASE KILL HIM. Tyson details a series of things he will do to Hornswoggle if he gets in his way, and I hope he gets in his way.
Oh who are we kidding? Jericho will start out the match, do all the work, go for the tag and get knocked out by Tyson.
Weâ€™re back as Cole reminds us that MVP is YOUR #1 Contender for the United States Title. Would the WWE be so bold as to have Miz lose his US Title and then win the Rumble? Yeah, probably not.
The Miz is in the back and says that no one respected him when he showed up. He said that everyone wanted to get rid of him and they made his life a living hell. Apparently Miz got kicked out of the locker-room for 6 months for eating chicken. Everyday JBL saw Miz, JBL would mock him. Shocker there. Everyone wanted him to quit, but apparently this was fuel for him to ignite a wrath against everyone in the WWE. Now he has a private dressing room. Miz leads us out to the ring as he badmouths MVP. MVP is now on a long list of people who have been humiliated by Miz. Not gonna lie, this is a really solid promo. On top of that, calling his non-fans Miztakes is pretty creative. â€œHate me for who I am as opposed to love me for what Iâ€™m not.â€ Seriously, I canâ€™t believe how much Iâ€™m digging The Miz. Maybe thereâ€™s hope for Primo and Abraham Washington. Well, probably not.
Heâ€™s the Miz and heâ€™s awesome.
Mizâ€™s music gets interrupted by the croc from Peter Pan and here comes MVP, who is wearing a SUIT. See that Cole, even a felon is willing to show up and wear a suit. Porter says that he doesnâ€™t want others to make the mistakes he made (namely stopping his in-ring work and regressing while coasting on a unique look). MVP seems to be stepping up his promo skills here too, so hopefully heâ€™ll step it up in-ring as well. Porter takes off his coat, his tie, his shirtâ€¦uh, where is this going? MVP is now wearing khakis and a wifebeater, and he kinda looks like The Godfather. MVP calls him a monkey flinging poo for some reason and this thing has kinda gone downhill quickly. MVP says that he isnâ€™t tame and was in prison for 9 and a half years where he was an animal. MVPâ€™s real world and Mizâ€™s Real World are worlds apart. Porter dares him to challenge him and MVP charges Miz. MVP hits the Yakuza Kick and knocks Miz out of the ring and this almost seemed like a big time program. Maybe miracles can happen.
Cole throws us to last yearâ€™s Hall of Fame package, including The Funks, Bill Watts, The Fink, Ricky Steamboat and Steve Austin. Sure has been a lot of Stone Cold tonight.
Weâ€™re back with a Mike Tyson commercial for his DVD.
Eve Torres is coming to the ring and Katie Lea is already in the ring. Maryse is sitting ringside doing commentary and she already called Cole a nerd. Katie stretches out Eve to start. She whips Eve into the ropes and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Eve hits a clothesline out of nowhere and then a dropkick that almost kinda sorta hits. Iâ€™m glad Katieâ€™s on RAW because sheâ€™s a great wrestler, but I doubt sheâ€™ll get a true shot. And just as I type that, Eve rolls her up for the fluke pin.
Maryse takes off her headset to tell Eve to talk to her freakishly large hand. The Divas Tournament gets a bracket and my guess is itâ€™ll end with Maryse/Gail Kim and Maryse will win the title.
Tyson gets yet another video package with footage clearly from the trailer we just saw for his DVD.
Carl Ito is in the back with Gail Kim and all of a sudden Vince McMahon walks by in his evil billionaire pinstripe suit.
On Smackdown in a steel cage, Batista and Rey Mysterio will wrestle again to determine the #1 Contender even though we know itâ€™ll end in a triple threat match.
Weâ€™re back and we relive the triple threat match earlier tonight. You know, this RAW has seemed oddly motivated all evening. Not sure if it was the one-week competition or the fact that weâ€™re gearing up for the Road to Wrestlemania, but RAW tonight just seems to have a bit of pep in itâ€™s step (even if there have been one to many video packages).
Vince McMahon is on his way out to the ring, and itâ€™ll be something, something, something Bret Hart, something something something, next week, something something no chance in hell.
Vince first puts to rest the rumor that he hired extra security to protect him from Bret. Apparently Bret Hart isnâ€™t there because heâ€™s intimidated. Twelve years ago Bret spit on Vince, sucker-punched him and walked out on the company. Last week Vince screwed Bret. Vince says that he doesnâ€™t play nice and there is a small â€œboringâ€ chant that seems illogical. McMahon said that last week brought closure because Bret was left humiliated in the middle of the ring. Vince says that Bret will never be seen in the WWE again. File this under a Jack Swagger guarantee. Vinceâ€™s music hits and thatâ€™s it. Is it wrong that thereâ€™s a part of me that hopes that Vince decided to screw Bret again and this was really it?
In the back, Jericho and Tyson are working out and we are heading toâ€¦
Weâ€™re back and next week Nash Bridges and that kid from one of the most overrated movies of all time hosts. Super.
But first, here comes DX. Wow, there really hasnâ€™t been a ton of Triple H on RAW tonight. Guess that means heâ€™s main eventing Wrestlemania. Hunter/Sheamus anyone?
Hunter asks if weâ€™re ready once or twice before asking Shawn if heâ€™s ready. Apparently Shawn is readyâ€¦ready for an answer from The Undertaker. That was about as smooth as a used car salesman.
Jericho is out next and I never thought Iâ€™d say this but I miss the JeriShow music. Speaking of music, I hear Big Visâ€™s music again, and here comes Mike Tyson. Tyson is dressed in a baggy black t-shirt and black pants and he looks fairly on the level.
Tyson and Michaels lock up to start the match and Tyson throws Shawn down. They lock up again and Tyson muscles him into the ropes. We lock up a third time and Shawn gets tossed down. Yeah, the swerve is imminent.
Shawn charges Tyson but gets bounced by a shoulderblock. Itâ€™s kinda like when Shawn fought Hogan and just pinballed off of him all night.
Shawn tags in Hunter and they go nose-to-nose. Tyson muscles Hunter into the corner before we get a shoving contest. Jericho gets tagged in and he hammers away on Triple H. Hunger goes for a Pedigree but Jericho breaks free. Chris eats a high knee and Hunter tags in Shawn. Michaels hits an atomic drop and a chop but Jericho goes for a pin and we do dueling pins before Chris goes for the Walls. Shawn rolls up Jericho and we see WAY too much of his ass for two. Jericho tags in Tyson and Chris tells him to knock him out but here comes the midget in boxing gear. And they wonder what causes strokes.
Jericho comes into the ring to attack the midget but Tyson rips off his black shirt to reveal a DX shirt. Chris turns around and realizes like Admiral Ackbar that it was a trap and he gets knocked out.
What a swerve!
This has been for your consideration.
Tags: big show, Bret Hart, divas, DX, For Your Consideration, Hulk Hogan, jack swagger, jericho, john cena, Kelly Kelly, Kofi Kingston, Legacy, mike tyson, mvp, n.W.o., randy orton, Raw, Santino, shawn michaels, sheamus, The Miz, TNA, triple h, vince mcmahon, WWE