Part of me wanted to boycott RAW for firing Danielson, but realized that if I did that I’d have to recap TNA. Fat chance. Sorry, you’re stuck with me…so get ready.
Because IT’S TIME TO GET RAW!
We recap last week’s NXT attack on John Cena, complete with a little bit of Bryan Danielson.
In the ring, Wade Barret! He reminds us who he is and why he is in the ring tonight. Bret Hart demanded that Wade apologize for his actions last week and he invites the rest of the NXT Season 1 rookies to do this properly. They come from within the crowd and join him in the ring. No Bryan Danielson, however. As part of a security measure the entire ring crew leave ringside and Heath Slater says he’d do it again in a heartbeat. Effectively, everyone does not apologize. Barret says that they were treated like dirt and like animals. Huge Cena chants come from the crowd as Barret continues to rant and rave. He’s interrupted by Bret Hart, who is not pleased. Bret calls the group cowards and ooooh, we get a Bryan Danielson mention, to which Barret says he will never be with them anymore. This isn’t about Cena, but about WWE management. Barret reminds us that he has a WWE Contract and a title match at a Pay-Per-View of his choosing. Otunga wants guaranteed WWE contracts, private dressing rooms, and the perks. Barret says that Hart has to make some difficult decisions. Hart denies the request and says that they all made a big mistake. Hart flubs the WWE line and he fires Wade Barret! HA! The rookies talk among themselves as we take a break.
We return and recap what just went down. Lawler and Cole discuss the Fatal Four Way Pay-Per-View. What better way to preview the concept by having a title match now?
United States Heavyweight Championship: R-Truth (c) v. John Morrison v. Zack Ryder v. The Miz
Melee to start and we get pair downs of Morrison/Ryder and Truth/Miz. Ryder and Miz get taken down and the good friends compete. Truth gets a bridge for two, broken up by Ryder Miz trips up Truth and we get some crashing and burning from Ryder…that had to hurt. OH MY GOD! MORRISON SUNSET POWERBOMBS MIZ ON THE OUTSIDE, TAKING OUT RYDER IN THE PROCESS! HOLY! OK, time for a break!
We’re back and Morrison covers Miz for two! Ryder gets taken out on the corner turnbuckle. Superplex attempt…turned into a TOWER OF DOOM! Truth covers Miz for two, then Ryder…then Morrison for two each. Miz small packages Truth for two and here comes the melee again! Front Suplex connects with Morrison and the corkscrew leg drop connects on Ryder. Miz isolates everyone and it’s Miz and Ryder! Corner charge connects and Morrison pulls Miz out and levels him with a lariat. Truth hits the Lie Detector on Ryder…Morrison breaks the fall. Miz gets dumped outside and Morrison misses a springboard…OSAKA STREET CUTTER BY TRUTH! Ryder drops the RoughRyder on Truth and Morrison hits Starship Pain! Miz throws Morrison out of the ring and he steals the title back!
Winner: The Miz
Orton v. Sheamus tonight!
Josh Matthews wants to know Orton’s shoulder status and Orton predicts that he will be the new WWE Champion next week. Then the question goes to NXT, Orton says that he respects what they did, but they are a bunch of punks. Orton says that they should had gotten their brains beaten in. Methinks Orton is the next target.
Big Show will be on Royal Pains this week as a big mean garbageman. Mark Feuerstein is your guest host tonight, and the Bellas do what they do best – flirt with him. Ted DiBiase and Virgil come into play and he offers a new car if he’s named co-guest host. No, says Mark. He calls Ted a daddy’s boy and he makes a threat of beating his ass, but Big Show is on RAW tonight and we get a tag match with Big Show and Big Mark Feuerstein against Ted DiBiase and Virgil. The Bellas question Mark’s sexuality…and we fade to Cena walking towards the ring.
Last week: Chris Jericho gets humiliated by the Big Show.
Thought Cena was on his way? Here comes Chris Jericho for a match.
Chris Jericho v. Evan Bourne
And they still didn’t forget what Bourne did two weeks ago. Bell rings and Jericho beats some sense into Bourne. Bourne gets a quick kick for two and we get some more token offense from Bourne until Jericho hits a teeth-spitting lariat. Jericho controls the bout and he chokes Bourne out (where’s that pink slip?). Headlock applied, but Bourne gets out of it. Face first to the turnbuckle he goes and Evan floats over a suplex attempt. Kick to Jericho connects and SUNSET FLIP! Jericho rolls through and applies the Walls. Bourne gets out of it and Jericho hits the Codebreaker! TWO COUNT ONLY! Jericho is pissed off and he ignores the referee count!
Winner: Evan Bourne via DQ
Bourne kicks Jericho’s teeth in and hits the AirBourne! The burial of Jericho continues. That’s what you get for being a game show host. Somewhere, Bob Barker is laughing.
It’s 10PM on the east coast, that can only mean one thing: JOHN CENA! We recap Wade Barret being fired and Cena is in the ring. The lights go down on Cena and he says that he thanks Bret for giving him the night off. However, he wants a fight. He thanks Bret for not caving into the group of radicals. Desparate times call for Desparate measures and they lived to that motto. Cena is used to being the target, however. Cena says they made 5 million enemies and that by destroying the ring, they made many more. They’ve been thrown out of the arena and Cena hopes that they are watching. He will defend his title next week and he will demand that they bring their balls and finish this. Cena promises to not press charges if he gets attacked. Here they come! Jerry Lawler, William Regal, Santino Marella, and R-Truth are here to aid Cena! BRAWL! HERE COMES THE LOCKER ROOM! ORTON! EDGE! SHEAMUS! The NXT Rookies retreat into the crowd and the low-card chase them away!
Sheamus walks down the hallway and his reasoning for helping Cena is because he wants to do it himself.
Last week: There was a Diva’s Battle Royal.
Eve Torres & Gail Kim v. Alicia Fox & Maryse
The four divas are also in a Fatal Four Way match for the Diva’s Title at the Fatal Four Way Pay-Per-View. That’s a mouthful. Eve and Maryse start things off and Alicia distracted Eve long enough for Maryse to cover for two. Tag to Fox and she chokes on Eve (again, pink slip?) and she shows some ass to boot. Maryse tags back and she has her way with Eve and Alicia tags back and she takes out Gail Kim. Alicia looks for the kick, but she connects with Maryse instead. Roll of the Dice by Eve finishes this.
Winners: Gail Kim & Eve Torres
Added to the Pay-Per-View: Miz v. R-Truth for the U.S. Heavyweight Championship
Match Change tonight: Instead of Orton/Sheamus we get Cena/Orton v. Sheamus/Edge tonight!
Main Event Mark Feuerstein & Big Show get ready as their match is next!
Big Show & “Main Event” Mark Feuerstein v. Ted DiBiase & Virgil
We’re already starting out in FTS territory, so this match can only get better. Show and DiBiase start things off and DiBiase does his best at a waistlock. Headbutt by Show and he does a stinkface in the corner. Slap in the corner and we go pillar to post and DiBiase takes advantage in blinding his vision. DiBiase tags Virgil in, who doesn’t want any part of this, but has no choice. Virgil lands on his back and he rolls out the opposite side. Mark tosses him back in and Big Show steps on Virgil. The shirt gets ripped out and Virgil eats a slap. Chokeslam connects and Show tags in Mark Feuerstein. He does…THE FUCKING WORM. THE FUCKING WORM. He covers Virgil for the win.
Winners: Big Show & Mark Feuerstein
Ted DiBiase goes to walk away but not before putting a Ben Franklin in Virgil’s mouth. He goes to leave again, but he takes the money back. What a dick.
Santino Marella v. William Regal (Special Referee: Vladimir Koslov)
Another FTS? Santino fake kicks and Regal has had enough so he works at ripping the arm out of the socket. Armbar applied and he continues the hold. Santino sunset flips Regal with tights and a fast count…Yup…FTS.
Winner: Santino Marella
Bret Hart asks the three combatants to stand on the stage because he refuses to let history repeat itself…not on his watch. Main event is upcoming!
Edge & Sheamus v. Randy Orton & John Cena
It’s Sheamus and Cena to start. Stalling to begin and we get a lockup. Cena wrestles Sheamus to the mat and he displays his wrestling skills to piss off the IWC. Sheamus hits a phantom kick and we get another lock up. Cena with a Full Nelson, but Sheamus gets the ropes. Cena Wrestling? Tag to Orton and he has a headlock applied. Sheamus attacks the shoulder area in the corner and tags in Edge. 3.0 Backbreaker by Orton and he goes for the RKO, but Edge rolls out of the ring.
Fisherman’s suplex by Cena brings us back from commercial. A.A. attempt by Cena misses and Edge gets clothelined. Orton controls his emotions and Edge takes a powder from the ring. Edge feigns injury and he snaps Cena off the ropes. Tag to Sheamus and we get a brawl of sorts, but Sheamus scores a two count on Cena. High knee catches Cena and he chokes away at the ropes. Edge provides insult to injury. Tag to Edge and Cena eventually counters a suplex to one of his own. Edge tags Sheamus, who keeps Cena from tagging Orton in. Throat jab to Cena, who goes on the outside. Sheamus rams Cena into the barricade. Back in the ring…two count only. Lariat connects…two count again! He works on the shoulder…and HERE COMES CENA! Or not. Sheamus wraps his legs around Cena…AND HERE COMES CENA! He drags Cena to Orton…but fails to make it. Sheamus covers for another two count. Tag to Edge…and HERE COMES CENA! A.A. countered to the Edgucator! Spear attempt…Cena dodges it and he reaches to Orton. Tags all around and Orton hits a snap powerslam! Hangman’s DDT connects and Orton is feeling it! Orton is feeling it…Edge turns him around and gets RKO’ed! Sheamus was waiting with the Double Axe Handle! Irish Curse connects…Orton kicks out! Sheamus works on Orton’s shoulder and he negates an Orton turnaround. Tag to Edge and he continues on the assault. HERE COMES ORTON! Drop toe hold by Edge negates that comeback and Edge gets booted and clotheslined to the mat. HERE COMES CENA! Shoulderblock and the power goes out! The Rookies are causing trouble AND THEY GOT BRET HART! They drag him into the back of a limo and they cause vehicular homicide. They drag Bret out of the car and they demand an answer come Sunday.
Match Result: No Contest
The Inside Pulse
RAW gets a B grade tonight mainly for the continuing of the hottest angle with the NXT Rookies. Even without Danielson, it still has the potential to make things interesting this summer.