No Chance – CM Punk and John Cena’s Match Leads to Brand New Feuds for all Involved
by Joel Leonard on August 17, 2011

Ah SummerSlam, the WrestleMania of the summer. But more than that, SummerSlam, ended this time around with quite a bang. In a mere 90 seconds we had a major bad call, a surprise appearance and a cash in for MiTB. Even Triple H had a nice stunned look on his face at the end of the show. So now Raw has plenty of questions to answer, not the least of which being, so is Stephanie back now? When did that happen? But before we get into that, lets take a quick little look at what happened during the rest of SummerSlam.

First, SummerSlam

With there only being a few matches on the SummerSlam card, I think we have time to do a quick rundown of the show before getting into Monday night and the future storylines of WWE.

First we had a three-way tag team match. Maybe it was the lack of buildup for the match, (not announced until it was actually starting) but I was in no way, invested in the match. What is an even bigger shame is that a falls count anywhere match between Morrison and R-Truth would have looked great on a PPV instead of being thrown away on the next night’s Raw.

Mark Henry and Sheamus worked just because the crowd seemed to love this newly face version of Sheamus. I’m content that Henry won because his bully character is still working, and I expect when it does wear of he’s going to fade once again to the mid card purgatory so, give the guy his big feuds while you can.

While I am angered that Beth Phoenix is not champion right now, I will begrudgingly say that Kelly squared probably had her greatest match that I’ve ever seen. (Not that that’s saying much) I wonder if, like Punk and Cena, Phoenix is able to force her opponent to perform better. In fact, due to my dislike of the opening match.  I might even go so far as to say that the Diva’s match was the second worst of the night instead of its usual last place. (Again, “might”)

The only two original Nexus members who seem to have careers left put on a great straightforward match. I would have liked more commentary about how this time last year they were both in the main event and Bryan had made a triumphant return. Cole seemed to start to make some comments alone those lines, but it had been almost thirty seconds since Lawler had needlessly insulted Cole, so that had to happen again instead of any actual commentary on the match.

Even though they’ve faced each other at the past several PPV’s Orton and Christian still managed to put on an entertaining match. The “no holds bared” gimmick” worked and resulted in two smashed tables, a broken kendo stick, the Spanish announce table getting trashed, ruined trashcans, and a final RKO over some steps. This match truly felt like it belonged on a PPV. That being said however, with Randy having the belt once again, I don’t think there is anywhere else for this feud to go, and no match is going to have a more finale feeling than that one did.

We will get to the Nash/Del Rio aftermath of the final match in a minute, but as for the actual match itself. I find it frustrating that they are still using the phrase “undisputed champion” when the whole foot on the ropes ending makes it completely disputed as far as I’m concerned.

 

Now, On to Monday Night…

At the end of SummerSlam, we had Cena losing the title thanks to Triple H, Punk losing the title thanks to Nash, and new Champion Del Rio, with a match already scheduled against Rey Mysterio. Three brand new feuds, to take us into the fall. Well Punk certainly seems to have found the right place to put the blame. He starts off by letting Del Rio off the hook, before confronting Nash. After a good bit of promo cutting time, Punk heads back to the lockers to confront Triple H. I expect this will lead into a rather lengthy storyline that more or less boils down to “Who sent that text.” One advantage of this story is that it could limit the amount of episodes that Nash is on Raw. While I like the guy enough, and it was kinda cool to see him back for a night, I have no real desire to see him take to the ring again in a full blown out feud. And Punk needs to stay relevant and in the main event now, even if it’s not with John Cena. Side note: It seems painfully obvious right now that Steph McMahon was the sender of the text, otherwise, why would she even be back, but I do hope that creative puts in just enough effort to come up with something a bit more surprising than that.

Now we get to John Cena’s new feud. Rather than get angry at Triple H, the man who single handedly ruined his title run by making a bad call (after Cena predicted he might last Monday no less) Cena does not get on mic to yell at Trips. No, instead he apparently has a beef with Del Rio, a man who didn’t even come out until Cena had gone backstage at SummerSlam. They probably passed each other at the top of the ramp. If Cena felt that strongly against cashing in MiTB the way it has always been cashed in, then he could have stopped Del Rio.

But that’s the problem. We get no real reasoning for Cena to be mad at Del Rio other than a weak complaint about steeling the title. I don’t think Cena was even this mad when the MiTB briefcase was cashed in on him. But for some reason we’re supposed to believe that Cena got riled up about it this time around. The fact that Punk had already spoken on the subject earlier in the show and complemented Del Rio on his timing makes Cena’s outrage even more ludicrous. It’s not like Punk needs defending. He can take care of himself.

The problem with such a weak line of reasoning, as the one Cena displayed on Monday is that it makes it painfully clear that as long as Cena doesn’t have the belt, he’s going to have a problem with whoever does, at least until he fights the Rock in April. So why can’t he just say that? “You have the belt now. Nice victory, but I’m afraid I need that belt to make my WrestleMania match a title match.” What’s so wrong about wanting the title, just to want the title? But no, Cena needs to have noble reasons behind every action that he does.  It’s that kind of twisted, stretched, and weak logic that makes the constant needing of pure nobility the worst part of the Super-Cena character.

 

Unrelated Thought

Longtime fans of The Simpsons, will recall a character named Poochie, a dog, voiced by Homer, added to the Itchy and Scratchy segments that was supposed to make the show “hip” and “edgy.” Basically having all the traits that network executives thought meant “attitude” in the 90s, which mostly consisted of wearing sunglasses and a backwards ball cap. Maybe a cool jacket if the character was supposed to be extra “rad.” Well last night, who should we see come out to defend the tag team belts (which I forgot existed) but the now totally defunct Nexus in their new personas featuring…sunglasses…a backwards cap…. and is that a jacket? Clearly a marathon viewing of cartoons from the 90s was being watched when these new Nexus members were created. So, until these guys lose the belts (and quite possibly go back to FCW to try again) In my mind, they will be Team Poochie.


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Joel Leonard

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  • John Kincaid

    Joel, the only Poochie in WWE is Triple H.

    It was either Scott Keith or Andy Wheeler who started calling him that following the first elimination chamber.

    It was the Raw after the chamber match when Hunter got legitmately injured, and could not make the show. Every segment revolved around people talking about Triple H, his lack of being there, his injury, and when he would show up again. Ala Homer’s suggestion that whenever Poochie wasn’t on screen all the other characters should go “Where’s Poochie?”

    Now, if they were to combine Poochie H with your Team Poochie, that would be completely in your face and proactive. It would shift the paradigm to a whole new level.

  • Michael L

    I thought it was Kevin Nash (circa 1998) that was given the label of “Big Poochie” by Scott Keith.

  • BlueLion

    The Divas match was good, but it was no Melina v Alica Fox

  • Mike Gojira

    I love how Ariane claimed that was her favorite match on Tough Enough which showed her extreme lack of knowledge of wrestling; yet now she’s been picked up by FCW.

    Go figure.

  • Alex

    yeah, it was Nash who was labeled Big Poochie. Someone older’s idea of what they thought young people thought was cool.

  • Wally Kovacs

    In Cena’s case, I’m thinking his beef with Del Rio is, in part, because he’s now two steps removed from the title. Punk had, in spite of the bad call by HHH, beaten him twice. The first time, it was Cena’s fault for taking his eye off the ball with McMahon and Ace’s shenanigans, and the second time was a bad call by HHH. If not for Del Rio’s cash in, Cena would likely be in line for a rematch (as ‘former champion’ and because of the bad call). And more importantly, Cena could either win or lose completely cleanly, and thus settle whether he or Punk is better once and for all. Del Rio basically muddies the waters, and denies Cena a chance to definitely prove himself against Punk.

    The splitting of Punk and Cena makes sense, and may eventually lead to Punk and Del Rio coming to blows. Del Rio is basically the corporate champion that Cena couldn’t be anymore (either Steph, HHH or the Raw GM … Shawn Michaels? made the call to get the belt off Cena or Punk). Punk is anti-corporate, and while Cena has been the corporate pick, his constantly losing to Punk, and refusing to accept the company solution (i.e. the screwjob finish) means he’s become too uncontrollable. So enter the guy that has had a rocket on his ass from day one, who was more of a ‘chosen one’ than Drew McIntyre, Mr. Density himself.

    So Cena can go after his heel equivalent, while Punk makes his face turn official by going down the Austin road before he goes to take down the Corporate Champion.

    In historical context, the E just pulled off Austin vs. Hogan that Austin was sort of doing in ECW (without any chance for a payoff match), and have sort of put Del Rio into the Rock role. Now, they may not have the charisma of the originators, but the workrate these guys can offer should be better.

    Hopefully there is someone in the Cliq-geme that can go in the ring so that Punk actually has someone to feud against. Del Rio can be allowed to do his own thing for now, as an unofficial corporate champion (as the ‘safe alternative’ who at least won’t bite the hand that feeds him) but maybe some midcard heel can be given a bit of a boost by becoming lackies for whoever Nash’s boss is. (Who though? On Raw, Miz and R-Truth both feel screwed over by corporate, Swagger seems to be joining Ziggler in Vickie’s stable, so unless they use what’s left of his Nexus against him, I guess they could pull Drew McIntyre out of mothballs and restart his chosen one gimmick?]

  • CB

    Wally: Punk vs. Chyna! (lol)

  • LBD “Nytetrayn”

    Why was Steph there? Probably to make you ask that very question, to make you think it might be her.

    I think it’s Johnny Ace’s doing… seems perfect that way. Why was be in Triple H’s office while Hunter wasn’t around? And all that empathy towards Nash, plus the “let’s go talk in MY office…”

  • LBD “Nytetrayn”

    Oh, and I love the idea of Team Poochie. Sure, we’ve had Poochies in the past, but those were the old Poochies. Ex-us are the new Poochies.

  • terrier

    Kelly squared makes no sense whatsoever.

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