Do not adjust your web browsers! Mike Gojira here, filling in for Aaron Glazer who recently suffered a death in the family. My condolences. For this week and this week only (apparently Rhett Davis wants back in), I’ll be covering Monday Night Raw! Be sure to check me out Tuesday night for the Live Smackdown Report as well as my usual offering at The Stomping Ground on Thursday.

1. Piper calling out Cena for towing the company line was brilliant. I think this whole thing is leading to Cena beating Rock at Wrestlemania and trying to get the fans behind him so he can be loved by everyone. And it’s not gonna work. CM Punk is the antihero the fans generally love. There IS a safety net, however; if this “Let’s give Cena a break” shit doesn’t work, they can always turn him heel finally after getting overly frustrated.

2. Shock! Gasp! R-Truth was caught smoking pot! No way! So Morrison and Miz are going to recreate their Falls Count Anywhere match from…and Morrison has been future endeavored via steel pipe. Don’t believe me? Watch Zack Ryder’s latest Youtube video for the not-so-subtle hint. This segment was meant only to make Miz look more like a douchebag, and it worked.

3. The only thing of note during the Divas match was the link to the second January 2, 2012 promo. Still no clues as to who it might be, but it’s fun to read the nitwit comments that accompany the video. Someone actually thought it might be for Batista!

4. I wonder if it will ever be revealed who Johnny Ace is texting week after week, or if it will go the way of the Raw GM. Oh, you didn’t hear? Apparently the company has decided to drop the Anonymous GM as a character without any explanation, rather than conjure up an identity. LAY ZEE!

5. How awesome was that introduction for Wade Barrett? “Ladies and gentlemen, please acknowledge the presence of Wade Barrett.” I wish I had someone to do that for me whenever I enter a room. Speaking of entrances, I miss the opening line to Dolph’s theme song: “I AM PERFECTION!” Are they seriously interrupting this great match with random tweets from fans? And Alicia Fox and the Bellas are trending worldwide? I think I liked the WWE more when they ignored social media. That was an awesome win for Ziggler.

6. I almost dreaded the Michael Cole/Daniel Bryan exchange, but thankfully it went surprisingly well. I can’t say the same for Mark Henry’s promo, though. If Henry says he’s “halfway injured,” doesn’t that mean he’s not injured at all?

7. Ladies and gentlemen, Zack Ryder has officially arrived. Not only did his opponent, a former World Champion, receive a jobber entrance while Zack got his own on live TV, but he even got a chance to shine in a decent five-minute match that saw him win.

8. Ah, Santa Foley, complete with cheap pop. If only he came out as Cactus Santa as I suggested.

9. Kane resurrected, huh? Maybe he’ll come back as an undead evil dentist.

10. That was a fun little main event. I loved the Eddie Guerrero tribute false finish with the steel chair and, with the exception of the botched sunset flip, it was a pretty smooth bout.

That’ll do it for me tonight. I have my semi-annual bronchitis flare-up and I’ve got to gear up for Tuesday’s live Smackdown recap, so I’m getting my ass to bed. If you’re reading this on Monday night, I’ll see you tomorrow. And if you’re reading this on Tuesday…you get the idea.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

Tags: alberto del rio, Beth Phoenix, cm punk, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, jack swagger, Jerry "the King" Lawler, john cena, John Laurinaitis, John Morrison, Kelly Kelly, Kofi Kingston, Mark Henry, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Mike Gojira, monday night raw, R-Truth, randy orton, Roddy Piper, sheamus, The Miz, Vickie Guerrero, Wade Barrett, WWE, wwe championship, zack ryder