The Common Denominator – The Evolution of the Funkasaurus
by Ralph Hardin on January 18, 2012

Hello, Internet Wrestling Community. You don’t know me, but I’ve had my eye on you for quite some time, and now I walk among you. I’m Ralph Hardin, but I usually go by Kid Ralph when online. It’s like Kid Rock, but minus the Rock (and the Hepatitis) and plus the Ralph (please, spare me all the Ralph jokes, I assure you I have heard them all).

Anyway, I am very excited to be the latest addition to Inside Pulse. Just some background on myself and what I’m doing here…

By profession, I am a newspaper reporter for a small daily in the Memphis, Tennessee area. Actually, I live in West Memphis, Arkansas, home of the West Memphis 3 and wrestling “legend” Sid Vicious (in fact, I have actually played softball against Sid, not that that matters).

Having lived here my whole life and being 38 years old, I have grown up on wrestling. I was around when Jerry Lawler and his crew were drawing thousands every week to the Mid-South Coliseum and elsewhere on the circuit, when 8 out of every 10 homes in the area were tuned to “Championship Wrestling” every Saturday morning around here. I also got to see many future superstars of the 80s and 90s cut their teeth inMemphiswrestling rings.

As a kid and into adulthood, I watched any wrestling I could find, from WWF/E to NWA/WCW, AWA, UWF, AWA, and anything else. I used to collect wrestling magazines and store them carefully next to my beloved comic books, fancying myself somewhat of a wrestling historian, I suppose.

The history of wrestling is where I find myself at home. I have a degree in history and taught history and psychology for five years before going into journalism. So, when the opportunity to become a part of this website arose, I decided to put all of this acquired wrestling knowledge and a continuing love of the industry to use.

You may have noticed the name for my column, “The Common Denominator.” My plan is to look at a wrestler, gimmick, idea, etc. from days gone by and find a wrestler from today’s scene and compare them, discuss them in general or raise the possibility of repackaging someone with an older gimmick to get them more over, or, as is the case for this inaugural installment, take a look at a modern-day performer and compare him to the stars of bygone days and chart a path for success. With all of that out of the way, let’s get started, shall we?

Brodus Clay, or What the Funk is Going On?

If you’re like me, you might have eventually decided that Brodus Clay was never actually going to debut. We saw the promo packages promising his debut (or re-debut, or whatever) for weeks, only to have it pushed back and then, honestly, forgotten – by me at least.

But then it came. This tattooed, ass-kicking wild man was really going to debut!

And then the music hit…

Not some scary thrash metal pulse-pounding number or even spooky Baroque piece with Omen-like chanting. Nope. Instead, we got the Funk…and with it, the Funkasarus.

Now, I have to admit, my wife, my son and I all got a bit of a chuckle when he came out. “But, but…he’s supposed to be all big and scary,” my boy said. There was dancing and the Funkettes and the Run-DMC gear. Personally, I thought it was great. Definitely a curveball from the Creative Department (or whoever came up with it). Also, I think it is absolutely awesome the way he announces his own moves as he prepares to perform them. That’s a great and clever bit, and if he can get the crowd to do it along with him, he might be on to something.

Now, here’s the thing: This is not the first time this sort of thing has been done (although it may be the first time it has been done in such a “meta” self-aware manner). The idea of the singing or dancing or hepcat character goes at least back to the 1970s. Light heavyweight Mid-West and AWA mainstay Buck Zumhofe used to boogie down to the ring with an old-school boom box on his shoulder, long before entrance music was in widespread use. Of course Buck was no Funkasaurus, weighing in at about 180 pounds soaking wet – which he usually was, covered in disco sweat and and sporting a perfect porn-stache.

Fast forward to the 1980s, and the whole Rock N’ Wrestling period. By then, there were a number of performers who had music-related overtones to their gimmick. The Fabulous One’s with their ZZ Top theme music and Jackie Fargo-inspired strutting spawned a dozen or more clones, from the Rock & Roll Express to the Midnight Express to the Midnight Rockers to the Fantastics and no telling how many more on the regional circuit.

But where’s the common denominator, you ask? Where’s the Funk? And I don’t mean Terry (although having said that, someone should totally have been calling Terry Funk the Funkasaurus as a rib on his age as far back as the mid-90s).

Well allow me to introduce you to Paul Neu, better known in early 1990s WCW as PN News.

Now this fellow was like the forerunner to not only Brodus Clay, but also Men on aMission, R-Truth, Doctor of Thuganomics Era John Cena, and a host of others. Not only was his “Yo, baby! Yo, baby, yo!” entrance song/crowd sing-along the closest you were going to get a majority of WCW’s fan base of the time to listen to a rap song (these are, after all, the same folks who would cheer for the heel West Texas Rednecks over the hip-hop themed, Master P-led face No Limit Soldiers years later), but it instantly added to his popularity due to the audience participation aspect.

You would have to include Rikishi and his buddies 2 Cool in the discussion. Rikishi wiggled and jiggled his way into the Main Event Scene for a while (although, admittedly by the time super-serial “I did it for the Rock” Rikishi was participating in WWF Title matches, he had stopped dancing for the most part).

Which brings me to the common denominator: How much real success did any of these guys have? Excluding the aforementioned tag teams, Buck Zumhofe held the very lightly regarded AWA World Light Heavyweight Championship any time they needed to take it out of the mothballs for a month or so to showcase some up and comer. PN News? I think he had some success inPuerto Ricoafter his run in WCW. Rikishi came close, but I doubt Vince ever seriously entertained the idea of Rikishi, WWF Champion.

And that’s the issue Brodus Clay is going to face going forward for better or for worse…being taken seriously. His predecessors were there to pop the crowd, be entertaining and fill in the gaps between the serious matches.

Now don’t get me wrong. There are wrestlers out there who can have a completely over gimmick and have level of success without a lot of wins or titles (for example, I always liked Brutus Beefcake. Outside of a run with the tag belts with Greg Valentine, did he ever hold a belt? Did he ever win a feud?). I mean, let’s not kid ourselves into thinking “success” in this day and age means a good win/loss record or even holding a title, but they do mean something. If Brodus and WWE are satisfied with the big goofy Funkasaurus squashing enhancement talent and getting funky in the ring, then great. Santino Marella seems to be having a lot of fun, after all. But, if Clay can find a way to retain his fun-loving, crowd-pleasing demeanor but turn it on and really perform when he’s matched up with a quality opponent, then he and the ‘E could really take the character places.

I’ll give him this: He’s certainly embracing the gimmick. And he doesn’t look uncomfortable with it. I’m not familiar with his mic skills, but if he can translate the look into a passable promo and maybe inject a few PG-threatening catchphrases that include “funk,” it couldn’t hurt. But can you ever see Clay pinning, say Randy Orton after a devastating delivery of his Aw Funky splash?

What it comes down to is whether or not this is the character Brodus Clay plans on taking on and building toward a future. Of course, he could at any time drop the shtick and become the monster we were all expecting from the get-go. We as fans will buy a gimmick change. After all, Dolph Ziggler used to be a cheerleader and Kane was an evil dentist, and they went on to have success. Will Brodus Clay have to drop the Funkasaurus to make some serious noise in the WWE? Or will he fade away like RIkishi and Buck and PN News?

If so, he will be just another example of (cue ominous music)…the Common Denominator.

 Before this threatens to reach “TL:DR” territory (or is it too late?), another feature I’d like to invite anyone with a taste for old-school wrestling or just interested in taking a trip down Memory Lane set their DVRs to record AWA Wrestling on ESPN Classics. They have absolutely no set airtime. It just comes on apparently in the wee hours when they don’t have a 20 year old football game or 1970s “World’s Strongest Man” competition to air, and they make no attempt at running episodes in any kind of order, but just the other day I got to see the Rock & Roll Express vs. The Nasty Boys from 1988 and the Midnight Rockers vs. the incredibly underrated Badd Company. Plus a ton of other cool stuff. I have considered recapping some of these shows or some other obscure matches off of YouTube, so If that is something that you might enjoy, let me know in the comments section. Thanks for reading.


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Ralph Hardin

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  • Anonymous

    If Dustin can play the character of Goldust — which started out as a rib on Dusty in Vince’s mind (according to Dustin’s book) — and parlay that into the career he’s had, then anything is possible.

  • http://twitter.com/Kanta_Mizuno Ryan Alarie

    He’s had a long career, but there was obviously a ceiling. The question of if Dustin could have been a main eventer some other way is questionable … most wrestlers would be happy with being over in the mid card for a long time. If anything, Goldust avoided getting into the area that probably frustrates a lot of wrestlers, the ‘upper mid card’ zone where you might be given a half hearted flukey title reign, or an unnecessary IC title reign, but mostly you are the stepping stone for people that are attempting to become legitimate main eventers.

  • Anonymous

    Dustin also has a pretty good gig now too as a Road Agent with occasional on-air appearances, so I’m sure he’ll take if from a longevity standpoint.

  • Mike Gojira

    Welcome to the insane asylum, Ralph. Your perspective on the business should make things quite interesting around here.

  • KidRalph418

    Dustin almost surely had at least some level of success thanks to his father, but agreed on his making the most of a character. However, for every Undertaker or Mankind, there are a dozen or more guys like Bastion Booger or Repo Man or (insert goofy gimmick here). The key to Brodus Clay’s success may lie in his own belief in the Funkasaurus. Another wrestler given the Undertaker or Mankind character might have been a complete flop. Oh, and thanks for reading

  • Ronin73

    Going back even further, Clay’s first match had me flashing back to Rufus R. Jones in the 70′s. The butt wiggle/shake to get out of the rear hold, the head butts, the whole shebang.

  • Mark

    At CB’s urging, I read this and just want to say that it’s a great first column and a welcome addition to the site.

  • James Alsop

    Great first article! Clay’s really captured the iwc’s imagination, hasn’t he? Great point about his prospects – can we see him pinning Orton after the big splash? That’s a big fat ‘no’ isn’t it? Clay and ‘serious competion’ seem utterly disparate terms at the moment.
    But then… if you’d asked everyone two years ago whether they could see Mark Henry doing the same, we’d probably have had a good laugh as well!

  • Anonymous

    I’ve always been a sucker for interesting characters, especially when the wrestler went all-in. See: Festus.

  • X-MAN

    Wow! Rufus R Jones!! I remember him. As a kid I was a fan of Rufus, JD, Jimmy ‘Boogie Woogie Man’ Valiant and the like. Brodus is a throwback and I hope the fans embrace him. WWE needs SOMETHING different.. and I support this as long as the don’t make 20 more of him.

  • Rhett Davis

    Great first column Ralph! Good to see another Arkansan on the site. Take that NY!
    Akeem was another comparison to consider though. I’m interested to see what you’ll do next week.

  • Anonymous

    cool column..need a little old school wrasslin on this site..I thought Clay was moving in the ring like Dusty Rhodes

  • http://martyrshow.com/ KON

    As the old story goes, Ole was telling Dusty that they needed a black champion in order to appeal to more people & whatnot. Dusty turns to Ole & says “I’ll be ya black man”.

  • http://martyrshow.com/ KON

    The “Master P-led face No Limit Soldiers” were the living embodiment of everything that was going wrong with WCW at the time. On top of that, WCW’s way of getting Master P over as a face was to have him bully Hennig.

    “Rap is Crap” was way more catchy than it should have been anyway, so it’s easy to see why the angle failed.

  • Owangotang

    Welcome Ralph. Now here’s the part where I tell you you’re right.

    Badd Company is incredibly underrated. DDP was their Ricardo Rodriguez for cryin’ out loud. Bad Company is such a perfect intro song too. Their double-team slingshot DDT remains, as a concept, my favorite tag-team finisher ever. (I say conceptually because it was never quite executed at a speed faster than “molasses in January” from what I recall)

    Now here is the part where I tell you that you are wrong.

    I don’t think that Brodus’ gimmick is as much of a detriment as it may at first appear. He’s essentially Dusty Rhodes v 2.0. Dusty used to gyrate, talk “funky”, was big, and was a crowd-pleaser. Line him up against Flair or Tully though and Dusty could get B-A-D. If the writers are clever, which is like saying “If water stops being wet”, they could write this character into existence; Brodus could have fun and be funky in squashes but he could also be B-A-D when fighting a tough foe like Cody Rhodes or Wade Barrett.

    I have zero faith that WWE actually will take Brodus this way but it is possible.

  • Sideshowbob

    So some old bits get thrown onto a blender, and out comes the Funkasaurus. Ok. I’m fine with this, and his delivery of this character has been great. My concern is that this made me realize its been a while since we’ve had cowboys and hillbillies too, so are they next? Cowboy Harris and Hillbilly McGuillicutty… Pray im wrong people…

  • Anonymous

    A plus material as always bob, I wonder if the slop bucket match will make a comeback too :)

  • Ralphhardin

    I was just thinking about cowboys and hillbillies. James Storm seems to be handling the cowboy gimmick about as well and anyone could in this day and age. I think with the current popularity of the show “Swamp People” and “Moonshiners” the crowd could totally buy a couple of “Gator Boys” as a bad-ass redneck tag team. Hell, get Skinner to manage them…

  • Ralphhardin

    That’s a great idea. I really thought they dropped the ball with Festus and his whole “comes to life when the bell rings” thing. Similar to the Eugene character. I don’t mind the goofy business if they can deliver in the ring when the time is right.

  • Ralphhardin

    Definitely see a little of the ol Dream in him. I still say the best part of his deal is when he calls out the moves. If he can get the crowd to go “Ahhhhhhh, Funky!” (or “Ahhhhhhh, Funk it” – I’m not sure which it is) for his finisher, he might be on to something.

  • Ralphhardin

    Thanks! I think one big advantage Clay has over a character like Akeem is that we’re all sort of in on the joke here (including Brodus). Besides, I loved the One Man Gang character. They could totally make Husky Harris the new One Man Gang. Hell, keep the name…The “OMG! Splash” could be his finishing move…

  • http://www.facebook.com/ChrisXHATINoNXHospodar Christopher Hospodar

    I like Brotus this way. The WWE doesn’t need another angry monster. I’m bored enough with the endless Bigshow vs Mark Henry fueds. When Kane talks all I hear is “dub Eb huh ” , because my fragile mind can’t take another promo about fire or Hell or whatever he says. So Brotus isn’t too bad.

  • Anonymous

    I agree, I thought Festus was awesome, although Gallows was solid in the SES too, it’s just he wasn’t given much of a chance after they decided to end the stable so abruptly (like every other faction these days).

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