1. So, Smackdown came to us from Las Vegas this week, eh? I’ve never been too keen on the whole “Roulette” thing, but assumed since this is Smackdown–where wrestling outweighs fluff–that it would be fine. Man…I hate being wrong.
2. The show started off wonderfully, with a short and sweet promo from Bryan. I never really picture him owning the heel status, but it definitely suited him today. Though, I can’t say I’m thrilled with AJ’s involvement. That girl needs to fall into a crack in the sidewalk and stay there.
3. Let me get this straight. Justin Gabriel was essentially the right-hand man in Nexus, and in Corre. And now he’s…Hornswoggle’s brawn? Maybe I’m missing something. I’ve never fully understood the whole appeal of the little leprechaun. And his entrance music is a tease. I always expect Finlay to strut out.
4. Michael Cole and Booker T need to settle down. Cole was especially eccentric today. To a point, I know what they’re trying to do, but CHILL. You’re a voice wrapped up in a suit. Stop trying to take over the show and talk about the damn match.
5. Last weekend we all heard about Epico and Primo winning the tag team belts against AirBoom. At a houseshow. What a filthy situation this has become, right? On the one hand, I love Evan Bourne. He’s the epitome of a breath of fresh air (see what I did there?). But jeez, bro…
6. For the first time in the evening, I had eye-rolling, head-shaking embarrassment for my Blue Crew. A dance-off. Like, really. Didn’t we do this a year or so ago? Wasn’t it Kozlov and Santino? My memory sucks…I drink a lot. Anyway. But I’m already over the whole “Funkasaurus” Brodus Clay shenanigans, Vickie didn’t even pretend to make it look like she was trying, and my hopes for sanity were dashed when instead of remaining serious, William Regal took the ugliest crossbody in the world after shaking his ass. I felt really dumb when it was over. And this is coming from the girl who was fifteen when she realized that New Orleans was in Louisiana. Seriously.
7. The backbreaker Sheamus delivered to Wade Barrett was majestic. Absolutely magnificent. I want to watch it over and over again.
8. Oh, that Hunico. I simply adore him. I want to put him in my pocket. And I actually kind of liked the Flag Match stipulation. But he’s just floating right now, I think. No real direction. Which is unfortunate, because he was so hot for a minute there. But what do I know.
9. Sadly, the dance-off was not the worst part of the evening. A blindfold match? It feels like the WWE is having a good laugh about just how stupid we fans are while simultaneously punishing Drew “McIntosh” (okay, I loved that part) and giving the kiddos something to chuckle at. It was almost painful to watch.
10. What a boring main event. All Henry did was stand there and stare as Bryan yapped to all the Lumberjacks. Perhaps the only good thing about it was the absolute brawl at the end, and the fact that we got to see some old favorites who I assumed were dead. Yoshi Tatsu, Curt Hawkins, Tyler Reks, Tyson Kidd…etc. And we’ll get to see Bryan and Henry do it all again in a steel cage at the Rumble. Why do they keep doing this to us? Mark Henry can barely maneuver a turnbuckle. How is he going to do anything in a steel cage?
Join me next time! Or don’t. Whatever.
But be sure to check out the magnificent Mike Gojira’s Smackdown Report when it posts, and definitely check out what I think about the incredible FSW.
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