Why Blair Douglas is Wrong on the Mark Henry front, and WWE’s Best Matches of 2011
by Jack Newbury on February 8, 2012

If this article bores you, tune back in at the end because I’ll be posting a list the Best Matches from the WWE in 2011 as voted on by puroresu.tv. It’s a good list, and I hope ya’ll suckers will comment on the placement even if you don’t care to read about why Blair is wrong on Mark Henry.

It’s come to my attention that Blair Douglas doesn’t like Mark Henry. This might have come to the attention of all of you back when Blair was whining about it constantly in Interinactivity columns to the point where he said, “ENOUGH!!! I will have a child with Mark Henry, but I will not, under any circumstances, be entertained by that man.” Blair then spun a disc of Moody Blues Nights in White Satin techno’d up with some lameness and called it a day.

Or, some such variation of that scene.

Point is, Blair thinks Mark Henry is not shit and I’ve come to a conclusion recently that Mark Henry kind of is shit. The shit. Decently shit.

Shit being good, in this instance.

Blair then challenged me to write a column about Mark Henry’s 2011. I said to him, “look, I might, I’m kind of bored in the office, but I was planning on writing out a list of ‘who is more badass: Sonny Crockett or Method Man.'”

The list would have been spectacular, but, if you’re skimming these words, alas, that list may never get produced. You can blame Blair for that. Don’t worry, he blames himself. He’s so distraught he stuck a fork into his bicep to see if he still felt pain.

He does.

So, let’s talk about Mark Henry, baby.

I was a bit behind on the Mark Henry front. I don’t watch WWE PPVs. It’s not necessarily because I’m completely against them. I’m mostly against them, but, it’s mainly because I don’t download the shows or stream the shows, but, also, don’t want to pay for them on PPV or on DVD without knowing I might get something good. So, as such, the only WWE PPV action I’ve seen this year has been Money in the Bank and the Best of PPV matches for 2011.

So, it somewhat snuck up on me when I produced a Top 20 matches list of the WWE in 2011 and I wound up with FIVE Mark Henry matches on the list. More on that list at THE END, ya’ll.

That’s not a small number, it was the most of any one guy on my particular list. Now, like I said above, I don’t see nearly enough WWE to make a definitive list, but, the point remains, all told, I dug me some Mark Henry in 2011.

I’m not here to call Mark Henry a great wrestler.

Half a year is certainly too small a sample size for that anyway. But, I do think Henry is between the spot of “not fucking terrible” and “good.” Most people on Smackdown fall below that “not fucking terrible” threshold, however. Randy Orton, for instance, comes in at a threshold along the lines of, “HOLY SHIT ARE YOU KIDDING ME WHY AM I NOT BLIND RIGHT NOW?”

You’re probably asking yourself right now, Newbury, why do this column, isn’t Blair’s opinion on who is a good wrestler completely irrelevant considering he believes Frankie Kazarian to be a good wrestler?

Very good point.

Blair is also in denial about Mark Henry. It’s one thing for Blair to dislike the guy as a wrestler, but, when I pointed out that Smackdown TV ratings were up for the time period that Henry held the World Title, he dismissed those and did the internet equivalent of speaking like Wade Barrett. It was hard to understand much of his incoherent excuses for why Smackdown’s ratings have improved with Henry. So, I’ll just throw out the number and anyone can feel free to run with it positively or negatively.

Smackdown did a 1.95 average for the year. From the Smackdown after Henry won the World Title until the end of the year, the show did a 2.05. My point in the rating isn’t that it’s the beginning or end of the argument on how good Henry has been. Do I think anyone else has produced a ratings increase of that level over a 3 and a half month period? With the exception of The Rock, I doubt anyone else moves the ratings that much for the current WWE product.

So, why do I like Henry? Why does Blair hate Henry?

Well, I can’t answer why Blair hates Henry, but, I think it’s likely safe to assume it’s because Blair doesn’t give a fuck about shit making sense. And, for the most part, Henry tries to make sure shit makes sense. Sure, there are some notable examples with Henry’s work, such as the ending to that cage match with Daniel Bryan on the Holiday Smackdown, where Henry cold stops giving a damn about his injured leg to try and climb out of the cage.

But, damn, there was some really good work in the 10 minutes that came before that.

Henry’s stuff is a bit rare for WWE. It’s not beholden to finishers, and even the best match the WWE had to offer this suffers a bit from not having some place to go because they rely on their finishers a ton. Now, granted, Punk/Cena had to fill 30 minutes and the average Henry match goes 10. But, that’s part of why I don’t call Henry a great worker. He’s obviously limited.

Yet, even within those limitations, he comes off as one of the more creative guys currently. Each Henry match, it seems like he comes up with something unique to work over his opponent with, and often fits that into the psychology of the match. A good example is the match with Randy Orton where he was working over the back and then did a modified bow and arrow submission with Orton’s back and the ringpost. He’s one of the few guys on their roster that really gives me an impression that they’re going to try and keep it fresh.

Henry is solid when it comes to selling. The cage match with Bryan was probably the best selling job I’ve seen from a WWE match this year, up until that finish. Which is a big deal, but, it’s a damn captivating match before that. It’s just too bad they went with a cheap pop finisher than something that fit what came before it.

Going back to the point where I first started to notice Henry, it was Money in the Bank. He had a match with Big Show that was fairly innocuous. But, it was also a smartly worked match, just, way too short and without a proper finish.

But, truth be told, I wasn’t sure Henry was capable of that sort of match. Those seven minutes made me stop to think about the possibilities. And, in the months since, I think Henry’s performed at a fairly high level. I think there is a ceiling for how good Henry can be, because he’s not going to captivate an audience for 20-30 minutes, although, I’m kind of disappointed they haven’t let him and Danielson try it. Because, in terms of in match psychology, I think he’s been up there with Punk and Danielson for the most part.

There seems to be more depth to Henry’s character than anything else in the WWE product currently. Even including CM Punk’s run. Henry’s been a monster character, but, at the same time, he’s portrayed vulnerability against Big Show. The stuff makes sense, and sure, it’s still simple stuff, but, it’s been more than just catchphrases like Best in the World, Ice Cream Bars, or Embrace the Hate. And, yeah, I get that there’s a catchphrase in there with the Hall of Pain. But, Henry’s gone beyond that, and I think that’s been in large part due to his work in the matches.

There was a moment in that match against Bryan where, knowing they were likely to turn Bryan heel soon, it seemed as if they were trying to put sympathy on Henry for the ankle injury. His reaction when Orton went to hit him with the RKO before Henry shrugged it off and became Champ? Really good stuff. And, very different in how Henry worked those moments. Same with the match against The Big Show.

A lot of times, WWE matches feel like they are killing time. The entire Randy Orton – Christian series felt that way to me. It’s easy for me to put Henry’s work ahead of stuff like that and other WWE work, because, it always seems like there is a purpose to the Henry stuff. They’re not just killing time before a finish.

And, I appreciate that, because it’s so rare to see that from a WWE guy.

So, yeah, I think Henry’s 2011 was deserving of strong praise.

I’ve probably only briefly gone into what I enjoyed about Henry, because the rest might be a bit more details-oriented that could bore some people. Speaking of boring some folks, I told you if you do get bored, to tune back in at the end for a list of WWE’s Best matches of 2011. Well, I hope you did, because, here is that list. I encourage you to check out puroresu.tv for some wrestling discussion, or, just comment on the list below.

 

Puroresu.tv’s 2011 Best Matches in the WWE

  1. CM Punk -vs- John Cena (Money in the Bank, July 17th) - 1680 points
  2. Alberto Del Rio -vs- Christian (Extreme Rules, May 1st) - 1295 points
  3. CM Punk -vs- John Cena (Summerslam, August 14th) - 1145 points
  4. Smackdown MITB (Money in the Bank, July 17th) - 1140 points
  5. Daniel Bryan -vs- Mark Henry (WWE Smackdown; Nov 29th) - 1110 points
  6. John Cena -vs- Rey Mysterio (WWE RAW, July 25th) - 1085 points
  7. The Miz -vs- John Morrison (WWE Raw, January 3rd) - 1015 points
  8. Randy Orton -vs- Christian (WWE Smackdown, May 6th) - 975 points
  9. Christian -vs- Randy Orton (Over The Limit, May 22nd) - 945 points
  10. Randy Orton -vs- Mark Henry (Night of Champions, September 18th) - 895 points
  11. CM Punk -vs- Rey Mysterio (Capitol Punishment, June 19th) - 850 points
  12. Daniel Bryan -vs- William Regal (WWE Superstars, Nov 10th) - 800 points
  13. Undertaker -vs- Triple H (Wrestlemania, Apr 3rd) - 790 points
  14. CM Punk -vs- Alberto Del Rio -vs- The Miz (TLC, December 18th) - 605 points
  15. Edge -vs- Dolph Ziggler (Royal Rumble, Jan 30th) - 600 points
  16. Smackdown Elimination Chamber (Elimination Chamber, Feb 20th) - 595 points
  17. Mark Henry -vs- Big Show (Vengeance, October 23rd) - 595 points
  18. Christian -vs- Randy Orton (Summerslam, August 14th) - 595 points
  19. CM Punk -vs- Alberto Del Rio -vs- Rey Mysterio (WWE RAW, June 20th) - 485 points
  20. Big Show -vs- Mark Henry (Money in the Bank, July 17th) - 475 points
  21. RAW MITB (Money in the Bank, July 17th) - 455 points
  22. Dolph Ziggler -vs- CM Punk (WWE Raw; November 21st) - 415 points
  23. The Miz -vs- John Cena -vs- John Morrison (Extreme Rules, May 1st) - 370 points
  24. Daniel Bryan -vs- The Miz (WWE Raw, Feb 14th) - 370 points
  25. CM Punk -vs- Alberto Del Rio (Survivor Series, November 20th) - 330 points
  26. CM Punk -vs- Randy Orton (Extreme Rules, May 1st) - 305 points
  27. Randy Orton -vs- Christian (WWE Smackdown, Aug 30th) - 275 points
  28. CM Punk, Big Show & John Cena -vs- Mark Henry, Alberto Del Rio & The Miz (Tribute to the Troops, December 13th) - 260 points
  29. Mark Henry -vs- Daniel Bryan (WWE Smackdown, Nov 1st) - 250 points
  30. Daniel Bryan -vs- Cody Rhodes -vs- Dolph Ziggler -vs- Zack Ryder (WWE Raw, December 12th) - 220 points
  31. CM Punk -vs- Randy Orton (Wrestlemania, Apr 3rd) - 205 points
  32. Mark Henry -vs- Sheamus (Summerslam, August 14th) - 200 points
  33. Sheamus & Airboom & John Cena & CM Punk & Mason Ryan -vs- Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger & Christian & Cody Rhodes & David Otunga & Alberto Del Río (WWE Raw; October 4th) - 190 points
  34. Daniel Bryan -vs- Wade Barrett (Summerslam, August 14th) - 190 points
  35. Daniel Bryan -vs- Tyson Kidd (WWE Smackdown, Aug 5th) - 170 points
  36. Rey Mysterio & Alex Riley -vs- The Miz & Jack Swagger (WWE RAW, June 27th) - 110 points


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Jack Newbury

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  • Anonymous

    Jack, I think you just pwned Blair with that commentary. I think Henry had a solid 2011 too, I just hope for his sake and at his age that he is able to really rest up and heal up from all these injuries he accrued during this strong run that filled a huge void on SmackDown for a good long while.

  • Anonymous

    Henry had a great year by the new WWE standards…He’s supposed to be a monster who just runs thru people not technical or smooth..Crocket vs Meth…crocket lived on a boat with a alligator +… meth made a song with Fred Durst -

  • Jonah Kue

    Jack, I haven’t read a lot of your stuff. So, I’m not going to judge you as a writer. That being said, you just wrote an entire article making a case against Mark Henry’s supposedly horrid wrestling skills and promoted a case for his mediocraty. Does that not scream nine shades of asinine?

  • http://martyrshow.com/ KON

    The fact that you’re not familiar with Drip’s work doesn’t mean you can judge him as a writer.

    Spending 50% of your articles pimping out your twitter, youtube & facebook means you can’t judge anyone as a writer

  • Jonah Kue

    Umm….If you’ve actually read my comment, I’d just stated I wasn’t judging him as a writer. I will, however, go ahead and judge your reading comprehension. Thank you.

  • http://martyrshow.com/ KON

    Of course I read it, how else would I have been able to point out the flaw behind your reasoning?

  • Newbury

    Well, I think the core of my column surrounds the line, “So, why do I like Henry? Why does Blair hate Henry?’

    I’ve liked Henry over the last 6 months. I think I probably made a case for him being better than mediocre, but, when I tried to pull that back to kind of ranking words, I did use not terrible, yet, not quite good. I think the reason for that is first, because I have fairly high standards, and it was more just the idea that I think Henry’s been one of the top guys in WWE this past year, BUT, I’m not ready to put him on a level of past wrestlers that I’ve considered good/great off of a 6 month run. Does that make more sense? I definitely don’t think I was making a case for him being mediocre within the confines of current WWE.

  • Newbury

    But, Meth did sing the hook on C.R.E.A.M. And, If we look at the song with Durst strictly as “yo, I gotsta get paid by some of these 12 year old white kids that like them some Durst,” I don’t think that really takes away from his badass-ness. It’s like that TV show he did for FOX, terrible show. But, he came out and said, “don’t watch it, it’s terrible.” That’s kind of badass.

    Plus, Meth can start sentences with, “yo, you rememberin’ when Ol’ Dirty was…” which is pretty badass.

    My initial thought was certainly Crockett, but, I think it’s closer than that initial glance.

  • Jonah Kue

    Amusing.

  • http://martyrshow.com/ KON

    You know, they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Jonah Kue, and you can see that statement is not true!

    See, normally if you go one-on-one with another commenter, you got a 50-50 chance of winnin’. But I’m a genetic freak, and I’m not normal, so you got a 25% at best at beatin’ me! And then you add Drip to the mix? Your chances of winnin’ drasticy go down.

    See the three-way, in this comments section, you got a 33 1/3 chance of wiinnin’. But I, I got a 66 2/3 chance of winning, cause Drip KNOWS he can’t beat me, and he’s not even gonna try!

    So, Jonah Kue, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25 percent chance, and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winnin’ in the comments section! But then you take my 75 percent chance at winnin’ if we was to go one-on-one, and to add 66 2/3 percents?
    I got a 141 2/3 percent chance of winnin’ in the comments!

  • Jonah Kue

    Definitely. Thank you for the clarity, good sir.

  • http://twitter.com/BlairADouglas Blair A. Douglas

    I’m not sure what Kon was going on about, but I think Kue brings up a good point. You addressed that without me needing to ask, so that’s good. But, you missed the middle initial in my name on the article’s title, and I’m pretty sure I can sue you for that. Let me ask my lawy… oh wait, you’re my lawyer. Well, go ahead and sue yourself for me then. I hear you’ve got deep pockets.

    I enjoyed this article. I enjoy all of Newbury’s articles. This is why you need to be writing on something other than ROH, something that people actually care about. No one can go back and forth with my man Newbury and still feel like they’re right at the end of it, it’s like boxing a glacier. So rather than do that, I’m just going to bring up a few points that I feel are valid.

    – The ratings period you’re referring to is on the heels of the Punk thing happening, which was a very hot period for WWE in general. I’m not saying that Mark Henry is responsible for 0% of the ratings increase, but I also think it’s a stretch to say that he was any kind of a major factor in said increase
    – Mark Henry is likely not scripting his own matches, since they don’t let a lot of guys do that in WWE. I think you’re giving him credit for something that has nothing to do with him.
    – What confuses me most, is that when they decide they’re FINALLY gonna put someone over Orton, they choose him when they have a whole roster of guys to pick from
    – Henry is the most injury-prone guy they have. He’s worse than Kennedy was. When he won the belt and started this I joked that he’d be hurt in a few months time. And he was.

    Some other points:
    – Henry deserves an insane amount of credit for having the guts to let that big lummox do a top rope elbow on him. That was nuts.
    – I am glad they put SOMEONE over Orton.
    – I may or may not have an article this week, it’s been a pretty crazy few days. I know Swayze was having internet issues so I imagine that’s why he wasn’t around this week either.

    Again, Jack, good article. As always. Mark Henry blows. The end.

  • Dave Dubya

    I didn’t read the article, but I too feel Blair A. Douglas is wrong on the Mark Henry front. In fact, we should send him to the Eastern Front – that’d learn him.

  • Zork

    Kon’s inspired Steiner Math wins this round.

  • Newbury

    “- The ratings period you’re referring to is on the heels of the Punk thing happening, which was a very hot period for WWE in general. I’m not saying that Mark Henry is responsible for 0% of the ratings increase, but I also think it’s a stretch to say that he was any kind of a major factor in said increase”

    This is just silly. The Punk thing happened TWO months prior. Just for the record, in the 2 months from the after MITB until Henry won the Title, Smackdown did a 1.88 rating. Even if you don’t want to admit as much credit as I give Henry for the ratings, you’re better than this. This wasn’t a ratings increase that came from the bump of a very hot period, especially since the ratings started going up after that hot period cooled fairly significantly.

    “- Mark Henry is likely not scripting his own matches, since they don’t let a lot of guys do that in WWE. I think you’re giving him credit for something that has nothing to do with him.”

    Maybe, maybe not. I have no idea who is scripting Henry’s matches. Why would I make the assumption that Henry has nothing to do with scripting his matches? I’ll judge the product I can see. Whether I’m giving him credit for something that has nothing to do with him is silly when you have no idea if that credit should be given to someone else.

    “- What confuses me most, is that when they decide they’re FINALLY gonna put someone over Orton, they choose him when they have a whole roster of guys to pick from”

    What confuses me most, is why you think this would be relevant here.

    “- Henry is the most injury-prone guy they have. He’s worse than Kennedy was. When he won the belt and started this I joked that he’d be hurt in a few months time. And he was.”

    I’m judging match quality, specifically in terms of who has been good in the past year.

  • http://twitter.com/BlairADouglas Blair A. Douglas

    Regarding your list, where is Del Rio / CM Punk?

  • Newbury

    Format for the list was that throughout the year, people from the messageboard had to nominate matches they thought were deserving. I don’t think anyone even nominated that one.

  • Newbury

    So, the nominations was step one, then, everyone voted based on the nominations for the final list.

    Go to puroresu.tv for the details!

  • jimshrugs

    /applause

  • Anonymous

    I didn’t even know Steiner math existed to this level of inspiration!

  • Crystal

    Lawl, you wrote an entire article about Sexual Chocolate and managed not to talk about cougar Mae Young.

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