THE RAGER! – No Bueno, WWE (The Rock, GM vs. GM, Jerry Lawler, Big Show and Cody Rhodes)
by Chris Sanders on February 29, 2012

The soundtrack for this week’s THE RAGER is Protest The Hero.

I’m Chris, this is my Twitter, and THIS is THE RAGER!

So Rock Stunk Up the Joint
This week on Monday Night Raw, Rock didn’t cut a promo at all. Instead, what he did was become a cheerleader like he did at last year’s WrestleMania. John Cena has been cutting promos left and right and going into detail about his feelings towards The Rock. What does John get in return? “Hey, I said something childish and insulting but chantable… chant it now, crowd” or “Go make this trend on Twitter.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of Twitter but there’s a time and place. Trying to sell this WrestleMania main event is neither the time nor place. Cena came out in the middle of it and just obliterated everything Rock had just said and did so in a very small fraction of the time of the segment.
It’s no secret that Rock has worn thin on me as of late but on Monday night, I was hoping to at least get a classically awesome Rock promo. But he couldn’t even give us that. He clearly phoned-in that segment and made it to the point where I was more interested in checking in on the towering inferno at Daytona.

It’s Time for Jerry Lawler to Go… Just… Go
This is in response to the sign I saw that called for the firing of Lawler on commentary and I must agree. It’s not enough that he’s getting incredibly more creepy and pervy when it comes to the Divas (namely Rosa Mendes) but the guy just can’t call a match to save his life. I mean, Michael Cole, of all people, is coming off more unbiased. Like I discussed with Joel Leonard, most of the time Cole, Booker T and Josh Matthews have a consistent stance when a wrestler cheats in a match, face or heel. But Jerry switches back and forth on it so much that it’s unbearable anymore. But most of all, the comments he’s making about Rosa Mendes, Kelly Kelly and the vast majority of the women are horrifying. The Raw on February 20th, Lawler said this about Rosa, “I don’t know much about business, but I would like to pursue a merger with her.” HOW IS THAT NOT SEXUAL HARASSMENT?! Who does WWE think they are? TNA? Maybe I’m making a stink over nothing but, my God, that makes me feel icky.

GM vs. GM
I don’t like this. I don’t like this. I. Don’t. Like. This.
We are talking about two men that make me groan uncontrollably anytime they’re in the ring and the two of them bickering just makes it that much more unpleasant. I have this sinking feeling there’s gonna me some sort of match involving the two (a la Vince vs Bret Hart, Ol’ King Cole match) at WrestleMania and I don’t want any part of it. Either that or a tag match (right up Teddy Long’s alley) involving the two plus each of their closest assistance or even a surrogate match where they choose someone from each roster. Anything that involves either of them in or around the ring at WrestleMania is not ok in my book. I’d rather have Snooki back. DO YOU HEAR ME?! I’d rather have Snooki.

Miz lost to Cena in 4 minutes
There’s not really a point here but I just wanted to state that this was the same as the “main event” from last year’s WrestleMania… just sayin’.

Racial Tag teams?
Why not throw in The Usos and get the full experience? And why did Kane inject himself after the match? Is he gonna go for the Tag Championship by himself? Either there’s gonna be some sort of tag match involving all these guys or there will be some sort of Money in the Bank match including all (maybe not Primo and Epico) of them? I hope it’s the latter (ha because it sounds like ladder).

Bad, WWE! Very BAD!
WHY is Cody having a feud with Big Show? He is supposed to be facing Goldust at WrestleMania. I want that, I don’t want Big Show doing anything but catering to whatever celeb gets thrown into the middle of ‘Mania. That being said, I could really get used to some “Cody Rhodes Presents…”

In closing, I’d like to reiterate something: screw The Rock.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,


The Answer: This Guy


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Chris Sanders

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  • CB40

    Agree with nearly all of your points here, so RAGE on, brother.

  • Kevin Trude

    “Screw the rock” – well said Sir Rager,well said.

  • Zork

    Gotta say man, I agree with you on all points as well. I really don’t want to see Big Show vs Cody Rhodes, I would rather see him and Goldust have a match over the IC title. I know they gotta have Big Show do something but here’s a few ideas.

    Have Big Show fight a celebrity (like you suggested), if that fails, stick Big Show in this GM vs GM business, it’s going to happen, there’s no getting around it but maybe WWE will have a good moment and make a big tag match or something, Team Long vs Team Big Johnny and Big Show can be on Team Long. Then Big Show and Mark Henry can implode and kill each other in some ridiculous way and both of them can go away, and we could have a possibly decent multiman tag match.

    Problem solved.

  • Kyle Fitta

    Gotta agree with your Rock statement. I have an article going up soon, either tomorrow or Friday, talking about the Rock’s promo as well. I feel like Mick Foley, but I want to see if you agree with my opinion.

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  • Limodriver

    Great column. But is Jerry Lawler any worse than he’s ever been? Remember when he couldn’t utter two sentences without one of them containing the word “puppies”? I don’t think he’s ever cared about calling a match. I guess I’m kind of used to commentary being terrible and don’t have much hope it will get better any time soon.

  • Sandhiil Irish Mafia

    Nice to see the Rage is back in the Rager! Well done!

  • Chris Sanders

    You’re absolutely right, I really don’t know why I feel stronger about it now…maybe the rosa comments just drove me over the edge about it.

  • Chris Sanders

    Gotta admit, it felt good

  • Zork

    Actually, I believe he is worse than he’s ever been. At least more than ten years ago he could be funny once in a while. Now you know he’s just there to collect checks.

  • CB40

    “PUPPIES — woohoo” will be Jerry Lawler’s epitaph.

  • beforethedance

    I agree regarding the Rock. Even though it is part of the script, Cena actually has a valid point. The Rock went on to a movie career and I have no problems with that. I don’t think anyone can blame Dewayne Johnson for that. My issue is with the fact that he disappeared from wrestling all together for years and now he gets to headline Wrestlemania while other legitimate WWE wrestlers can’t even get a match on Wrestlemania. I also (and I have nothing against Cena) am ready for the WWE to get back to being unpredictable and not always have the same few wrestlers in the main event.

    In regards to Jerry Lawler, I will admit I am a long-time fan of his. Lawler was always better as a heel. He used to come to Dallas and up to Philadelphia even before his WWE days and was always great at ring psychology and could make the fans hate him. I never thought the WWE used him right even when he came to the WWE in the early 90’s. Even though he was mainly a commentator by that point, he still had the ability to get the fans going with his feud against Bret Hart and a few others. Even at his age today, he still wrestles a lot of indy shows and the occasional WWE match and is still pretty good in the ring. Granted it is an old school style, but I actually think the WWE should run a storyline where Lawler, who holds the record for most titles in wrestling, decided to go after a WWE title (not the World or WWE title, but the US Title or Tag belts) and eventually accomplishes that goal only to let it go to his head and turns heel again. Obviously you don’t keep the belt on him very long, but just long enough to build heat and then return him to the broadcasting booth where he is a heel announcer again. My main criticism in regards to the commentating (and I do like Lawler) is I have never understood why the WWE didn’t have him reflect more on his own career and his knowledge of wrestling. I also never understood where if a wrestler is getting a beatdown, sometimes he would jump in the ring and save the person receiving a beatdown, where other times he would sit back and say “we need help in here.” Thanks for reading my thoughts.

  • Chris Sanders

    you bring up some very valid and good points here. in response to your criticism of lawler coming to the aid of someone in the ring at times but not for others, i feel like that is a good metaphor for WWE enforcing certain match rules at times but not always. the truth of the matter is that in both instances, they sacrifice continuity for the sake of whatever they’ve decided fits the storyline. And you’re absolutely right, he’s not being used well at all (i would argue that he hasn’t been used correctly since the ‘build up’ to his match at mania against cole…note i didn’t say anything about the match itself and thereafter). There’s no doubt that he’s showed a considerable amount of ring talent that he still possesses and I think your idea would work great but they would have to jump ship on any notion of Cole being a heel and they would have to pull off quite a big turn to sway the audience. Thanks for commenting! Again, you brought up some really great points that I’m feeling quite jealous of because I didn’t think of them when I wrote this column.

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