Where Has TNA Star Abyss Been Lately?
by Matthew Harrak on March 9, 2012

Last night on Impact, we were introduced to “Joe Park” who claimed to be Abyss’ brother. “Joe” is apparently being played by Chris Parks who also plays Abyss. Just writing those sentences made me confused so let me clarify. Chris Parks is “Abyss”‘s real name. “Joe Park” is apparently a new TNA character who is Abyss/Chris Parks’ brother. Whatever. The videos from Impact are below if you wish to figure it out for yourself.

Video 1:

Video 2:

Quick Quip: I’m not sure if they’re trying to go the Mick Foley/Dude Love/Mankind/Cactus Jack route here or he really is going to be playing two different characters. All I do seem certain of is that we’re going to be getting more bad wrestling wigs because “Joe” definitely didn’t have Abyss’ shoulder length hair. Not mention the fact that in 2008, “The Sinister Minister” James Mitchell was revealed to be Abyss’ real father.

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Source: Impact Wrestling

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Matthew Harrak

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  • KungFool

    Not for nothing, but I think Parks did a hell of a job in his new character. It was miles away from the comfort zone he’s been in since I started watching TNA in 2003 (I miss great x-division and tag matches by the way…), and he seemed completely natural and at ease in this revamp (or whatever this ends up being). Unfortunately, this is TNA so it will turn out that they didn’t mean to say his name was Chris Parks, it was Bryan Clark! (Some of you may remember him as Adam Bomb, even fewer of you will remember him as Bryan Clark). Then Bryan Clark (in Abyss’s costume) will team with Hogan and call themselves ToniK (the T is backwards) against Joe Park and Sting for the tag team championship that is held by Alex Shelley and Samoa Joe. They aren’t even in the match, but f them brutha. The turning point comes when Joe Park pulls out the HALL OF FAME RING and threatens Hogan then turns and nails Sting!!!!! Tenay has a stroke as the show ends and then next week its “Kurt Angle Appreciation Night Volume 1″. They tape the next weeks “Kurt Angle Appreciation Night Volume 2″ the same night. Kurt Angle does not appear on either program. The following week he reappears as the Anglesaurus and dances. Joe Park lays him out.

    This TNA fantasy (too close to reality) booking just broke my brain.

  • Steven Gepp

    Will you stop it! You KNOW TNA reads InsidePulse and this sort of thing just gives them ideas they think are SERIOUS!

  • http://www.examiner.com/pro-wrestling-in-national/mark-satrang Mark Satrang

    I don’t get too wound up in TNA anymore but for some strange reason this angle intrigues me. Totally didn’t realize it was actually Abyss until reading after the show. Kudos to him for going head first into the new character.

  • http://twitter.com/Chantal_Lauper Chantal

    LOL I love how much he sounds like Penn Jilette!

  • CB40

    But Chantal, is he a HOTTIE or a NOTTIE … or an IN-BETWEENER of the week?!

  • http://twitter.com/Chantal_Lauper Chantal

    Hmmmm hottie because he sounds like Drell (Penn – I watch too much Sabrina) and he has a pocket hankerchief! lol x

  • CHpunk

    This is a steller idea! Thank you now I don’t need to think of new ideas for a few weeks.

    Your friend,
    Terry B.

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