Berinox: the way you type and make stupid uncleaver genric tough guy comments, i wonder if you even like wrestling faggot
NotBlair: Unclever tough guy comments?! What was a tough guy comment? Saying that Davey rocked an Affliction T-shirt is a tough guy comment? Oh, wait, sorry, you said uncleaver…you are, technically, right. My comments were very un-cleaver like. I did not mention large knives in any way.
Colin: This is a terrible attempt at a “report”. Sloppily put together, no format, no match ratings, no match times, barely even an acknowledgement of who won the matches…this reads like a pretentious smark half watching a show while typing on his laptop and nothing else. You need alot of work dude.
NotBlair: No format…check. No match ratings…check. No match times…check. Wait, you’re calling me a pretentious smark because I’m NOT including match ratings or match times? Those are two very smark things, man. I’m not going to include match times or match ratings because I don’t like either of those things. Oh, and I don’t like writing about moves. Wow, such a smark thing to ignore the moves!
And, actually, man, I write the column all on Vellum scroll that I then hand to Pulse Glazer who rides on horseback to CB’s residence for preparation to be published. I’m too good for laptops.
And, before we get going allow me to plug something I’ve got going. It’s March Madness time…over at the Spinebuster.com, on Wednesday evening, we’re going to start a Tournament Bracket of 32 wrestling promos to try and determine the best wrestling promo all time. We’ve announced the #1 seeds and we think it’s going to be a damn lot of fun.
Ring of Honor Wrestling
March 10th, 2012
We open rockin’ with…
…a Powerball drawing.
Alright, can’t blame ROH for that. Or, can I? No. No, I can’t. Relax, Jack, there will be plenty of time for negativity.
Kevin Kelly and Nigel McGuinness are in the ring battling the shit out of some Libyan Terrorists, but, they eventually get the Delorean up to 88 and kick it to a Jim Cornette interview.
Yes, that’s a convoluted way of saying that this Cornette interview that they showed in 2012 looked as if it was something placed into a wrestling time capsule in 1985.
Kenny King next cuts a promo rockin’ his baseball cap with the brim tilted slightly to the left, though, so, they seem to have fast forwarded to at least 1992.
After a commercial break, we get more Kenny King talking. He’s against Jay Lethal. So, Lethal talks too. What 1985 Jim Cornette was talking about was a Blind Destiny thing on the second Wrestlemania iPPV. Three singles matches tonight…the three winners face one guy from the World Title Triple Threat the night before. So, one match ends up for the World Title. The other two for straight up pride.
And, I think in ROH currency, pride might actually be more valuable. So, who knows.
Lethal comes out quick in this one, but King is out of the way. Roderick Strong comes out to the ring with a gallon jug of water. Why? Baltimore is the world’s largest hot desert and second largest desert, after Antarctica. Sorry, that’s the Sahara, I don’t know why he has so much damn water. Strong faces the winner at Showdown in the Sun 2. Will they need that much water to survive the sun? Or, did Roddy see some MMA guy walk around with a gallon jug of water?
Takes the crowd about 2 minutes to get into the dueling chants, come on, ya’ll, both of these guys aren’t following the Code of Honor for their health. Face vs. Face, dueling chant it up early and often!
Apparently Kevin Kelly thinks you can patent “athleticism.” (Checks with Apple) Ok, yeah, I guess you can patent athleticism.
Decent little match. Lethal gets the win. Strong does nothing. I can live with that.
Adam Cole and Kevin Steen is next. Interesting choice here to produce a TV show for one week after Cole gets a huge pin-fall over Davey Richards with no way of mentioning it on TV. Even ECW TV in the mid-90s could get the TV one week after a big show to at least somewhat acknowledge the happenings of that show. This is a huge TV flaw and one that just seems silly in 2012.
They fire out to a quick start in this one. Elbows in the ring. Cole with a dive to the outside. More elbows, but, then, Steen tosses Cole chest first into the ringpost. Back in, Moonsault to the chest by Steen. Then, a chop as he tells the camera it hurt his hand a bit.
Not good, not great, definitely short. Steen wins in about 5 minutes and goes to try and package piledrive Cole…since it’s only illegal during matches!…and Eddie Edwards comes out to make the save.
I would have liked both of these matches to get more time. Both matches hinted at building towards something. I would have liked to see a bit more time in the Steen/Cole match especially, to maybe give Steen some more time working over Cole’s midsection and building Cole’s resiliency through the loss. It works partially, but, there’s only so much they can do in that regard when given 5 minutes.
I do like the concept they’ve gone with here in having three matches that mean something on the program. Just I think they’ve picked the wrong one to Main Event. Which brings us to…
The third match in this Blind Destiny setup features…Davey Richards on commentary. Yikes. Michael Elgin against Kyle O’Reily. Hey, O’Reily is Davey’s training partner, did ya know that? Of course you did.
Kyle O’Reily refers to himself as American Strong Style. In case some of you wanted to say…”WHAT THE FUCK.”
Roderick Strong comes down to the ring again. Which leads to O’Reily getting distracted and belly to back suplexed by Elgin and Richards screaming twice that it was “bullshit.” Which came off fairly hilariously. They take a commercial break and it seems like they’ve actually put O’Reily into a face in peril role. Nah, not really. Spoke too soon. They show Davey on commentary during an elbow exchange and Davey is INTENSE, yo.
Nigel raises the point that it might be silly to trade forearms with Elgin when dude is much bigger. Nigel, come on, why have strategy in a worked match that could possibly increase the drama when you’re just going to hit a bunch of strike exchanges and then work towards the big move exchanges? That would make too much sense!
Someone in the crowd is holding up a cardboard sign with a block letter “T” written on it. Don’t know what that means, but, best part of the match so far.
O’Reily tries to powerbomb Elgin to the floor, blocked, but he eventually drops him to the floor with some sort of move. Dropkick on the outside by O’Reily. Dropkick on the inside by O’Reily. O’Reily is getting in way too much offense in this one and I don’t think it’s helping to get either of the guys over.
Richards and Strong eventually brawl and Elgin eventually wins. Match got the most time and got the most cool stuff in, but, it’s a shame they didn’t give that time to either of the other two matches. This one just didn’t build to anything and, really, I don’t see how it makes either guy look good.
But, then again, I don’t really get why people like the Davey-O’Reily style. Are people digging it? I don’t know. I know it’s not the style that got me into Ring of Honor back in 2004-2005. It’s so very different than that, and, as such, I make fun of it. Look, if you’re going to talk shit to me in the comments, I love that, but, if you’re going to question whether I like wrestling, do me a favor and back up WHY you like guys like Davey Richards, Kyle O’Reily, or, really, anything from the current-ROH Main Event scene. I’m not going to be a dick if you support what you like, and because I dislike this stuff so much, I happen to be curious about why it does work for others.
And, remember, check out the March Madness of Wrestling Promos, this week at Spinebuster.com.
Tags: Adam Cole, Back to the Future, cm punk, Davey Richards, FD Swayze, Jay Lethal, Jim Cornette, john cena, Kenny King, Kevin Steen, Michael Elgin, Ring of Honor, Roderick Strong, ROH, ROH Wrestling