WWE SmackDown Spoilers for Friday 6/8/12, starting with the opening segment: Alberto Del Rio (sans Ricardo) gloats about attacking Sheamus on Monday Night Raw. Sheamus comes out… wait, it’s Ricardo dressed up like Sheamus! Ricardo is wearing white tights to get the pale look down. RR is golden as ADR interviews him, legit funny stuff (unlike John Cena My Little Pony crap)
The real Sheamus arrives and they brawl. Teddy Long comes out and says Johnny left SmackDown in his hands tonight (likely to suck up to management ahead of Johnny’s performance evaluation by Vince McMahon on Raw this coming Monday) and Teddy books Sheamus vs. Kane as the main event, with ADR vs. The Great Khali … right now!
1. Alberto Del Rio def. The Great Khali via submission.
Backstage, the Funkettes Naomi and Cameron dance for Teddy Long, and then Brodus Clay enters the picture. Teddy tells Brodus he is now a permanent member of the SmackDown roster, and Clay says he’s going to see his opponent as Big Show tonight.
2. Brodus Clay def. Derrick Bateman
3. Sin Cara def. Drew McIntyre.
Non-TV post-match segment: McIntyre cut a promo to the live crowd demanding to know why he isn’t in the main event. Triple H comes out and answers Drew by hitting a Pedigree, then leaves.
4. Ryback gets fed, def. two local jobbers.
While the SD crew is assembling Christian’s Peep Show set, Cody Rhodes interrupts. Cody destroys the set and talks smack about Christian, who comes out. Cody says he sees through Christian because before he came back he was a heel and now Cody isn’t buying the new attitude. This allows Christian to explain his face turn, saying his moment of clarity came after inducting Edge into the WWE Hall of Fame. Christian said he wants to be remembered for actually winning championships and not whining about wanting “one more match”. Dolph Ziggler’s music hits to signal the end of the segment for his match vs. Christian.
5. Christian def. Dolph Ziggler in a long non-title match.
After the Raw Rebound airs, Michael Cole got on the live mic and asked everyone to please “move on” past the mess that ensued Monday.
JIM ROSS’ music hits and the crowd goes wild … until they see it’s Hornswoggle dressed as JR, then no one cares.
After some back and forth, Damien Sandow saves this segment and all of us, even saying at one point, “I am the avenging sword of taste and decency.” Hell’s yes you are!
Tyson Kidd comes out to save Hornswoggle from Sandow, but after Sandow pretends to exit he rushes back and nails Kidd with his devastating neck-breaker maneuver.
Backstage, Kane tells Matt Striker he wants the WWE title and ignores questions about AJ. After he leaves, the camera pans to AJ hiding behind crates. LOL.
Teddy Long introduces Antonio Cesaro and “his lover, Aksana.”
6. Antonio Cesaro (w/Aksana) def. Jimmy Uso. They make Teddy raise his hand in victory.
7. Sheamus def. Kane via DQ. Del Rio attacked Kane, then Sheamus. Kane came back to go after ADR but then AJ looks at Kane from the ramp, which allows Sheamus to close the show on a high note by dispatching Kane.
Why do I have a feeling Kane will “kidnap” AJ to kick off Raw next week, with segments airing throughout the episode leading to Punk saving her before Kane attacks him? Just a thought.