Holla holla holla player. Teddy Long is the GM of this week’s RAW, and wouldn’t you know, he made a tag match for the main event tonight! At leasts it is a good one: Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan vs John Cena and C.M. Punk. Hopefully they at least get some time to actually wrestle. Oh, and Brock Lesnar responds to Triple H’s SummerSlam challenge tonight. I expect a pre-recorded response from Lesnar.
A Book Of One Liners By Kane
After a recap of last week’s events, John Cena came out. Cena thanked Big Show and Chris Jericho for the beatdown last week. He said anything can happen at Money in the Bank, and they showed him that last week. Cena said he stands by everything he said last week, that he will win the WWE Title Ladder Match and become WWE Champion. Suddenly, Daniel Bryan came out chanting YES. Bryan said Cena isn’t relevant to him. Bryan said at MITB, he will become WWE Champion. Bryan said if Cena manages to win the WWE Title MITB contract, his relevance to him is that Cena will become the first person to win a MITB match and lose. Cena said he can think of at least one person who disagrees with him.
C.M. Punk came out and said he can think of more than one person who disagrees with him. Cena and Jerry Lawler agreed, as well as the crowd. Bryan said enough and demanded people stop stealing his catchphrase and get original. Punk said at MITB, his ex girlfriend A.J. will count his shoulders to the mat. That’s an original thought. Jericho came out. He told Bryan that he’s used to stealing other people’s catchphrase. He said no offense Best in the World while looking at Punk. Punk said no offense Bon Jovi. Jericho rattled off a bunch of his old catchphrases. Jericho said since he invented the MITB Ladder Match, he will win it. And he dared anyone to come and tell him otherwise.
Kane came out and said “Otherwise.” Ha. Big Show started to come out. Bryan jumped Cena and then a brawl broke out. It ended with Big Show standing tall after taking out Kane.
Segment Analysis: Kind of a bit corny but it had its funny moments and one liners. It was a decent opening. The thought of a Bryan/Cena main event feud is very appealing. Its a big match that hasn’t been done before. No one was great, but no one was awful either. Survey Says: 3/5
This Show Has Teddy Long’s Stamp All Over It
Eight man tag time. Kofi, R-Truth, Christian and Santino vs Darren Young, Titus O’Neil, Cody Rhodes and David Otunga. The faces beat up on Darren Young early. Kofi hit a dive to the outside on O’Neil, but Young hit a clothesline heading into commercial. Back from break Cody Rhodes was working over Kofi Kingston. Kofi caught Titus with a kick and tagged in Santino as O’Neil tagged in Otunga. A melee broke out. O’Neil and Otunga left with A.W. Cody Rhodes then bailed on Otunga. Then Brodus Clay came out and forced Otunga back in the ring. Santino hit the Cobra for the win. All the faces hit their finishers on Otunga.
Segment Analysis: All of the mid card titles were in that match and they were barely made mention of at all. Shows just about how much they matter in the WWE these days. A big mess of a match that didn’t really result in anything. Not a lot of action either. Just a way to get everyone on. Survey Says: 2/5
Backstage, Alberto del Rio asked Teddy Long to make him the #1 Contender for the World Title. Teddy said the Board of Directors agreed, but that was there decision, not mine. He said Del Rio has a match for the #1 Contender Spot, and next. He called it a Teddy Long Special.
Alberto del Rio was set to face Sin Cara, but Del Rio jumped Sin Cara and took him out. He applied the cross armbreaker outside the ring. I know Sin Cara isn’t that high on the card, but that was a waste of a potential match. And a way to make Sin Cara look terrible.
Daniel Bryan offered A.J. a rose, but she knew it was just a ploy by him to win her over because she is special referee for the WWE Title Match at MITB. She bit the rose off the stem and spit it out.
A Promo To Hype A Promo, In 3 Weeks!
After a recap of all this Heyman/Lesnar/HHH stuff, Paul Heyman said Brock Lesnar will make his decision and tell HHH to his face on the 1000th episode of RAW. Heyman said that the reason HHH is making this challenge is because it is his way out. If Brock accepts this match, it will be a mercy killing. It will be HHH’s way of saying he went out swinging and can become the corporate suite he wants to be.
Segment Analysis: So they hyped an announcement from Brock, only to say the announcement is coming in 3 weeks? Typical WWE. At least Heyman’s delivery was pretty good. Survey Says: 2/5
At Least A.J. Didn’t Pin Dolph
Mix Tag Match between Sheamus/A.J. and Dolph/Vickie. Sheamus got the upper hand with a forearm to the face and a faceplant for two. Dolph caught Sheamus with a kick to the leg and then a kick to the face and DDT for two. Dolph applied a headlock which Sheamus got out of with a back toss and then White Noise. Sheamus went for a Brogue Kick but Dolph tagged in Vickie. Sheamus hit a Brogue Kick on Dolph which sent him to the outside anyways. A.J. hit a Shining Wizard on Vickie for the win. A.J. celebrated by shouting YES.
Segment Analysis: As much as I love A.J., it is kind of a shame that she over shadowed the World Champ in this one. Sheamus is an after thought to A.J. That shouldn’t be happening. Not much to the match, which seems to be the theme of the show. Survey Says: 2/5
A.J. asked Punk if she saw her match. Punk said he has been on the phone with his sister. A.J. walked away sad and disappointed.
Heath Slater beat Doink the Clown, then ate a Diamond Cutter from Diamond Dallas Page. BANG!
Never Before, Never Again. Until Tomorrow
Kane vs Big Show, NO DQ. They fought on the outside. Show caught Kane with a kick. Show went for a chair, but Kane started fighting back in the ring. He hit a DDT for two. Kane went for his top rope clothesline but Show ducked. Kane grabbed he chair and Big Show hit a spear on Kane. Show then chokeslammed Kane on the chair for the win.
Segment Analysis: The announcing pissed me off beyond belief in this one. Cole said he can’t imagine these two in the same match up, when they were fighting right in front of us. Lawler said Show may be unstoppable, even though Cena beat him two weeks ago. What a mess. Survey Says: 1/5
Eve is back. And looking hot. Teddy Long put a giant name tag on her. She ran into A.J. Eve bad mouthed her then A.J. went off, asking Eve what she would do to get attention next. A.J. said she will show her how to get attention.
Tyson Kidd beat Tensai with a quick roll up. Tensai beat up Sakamoto after. Tensai then attacked Kidd in the locker room.
Yes, A Woman Finally Ended RAW On Top
Main event tag time. Punk and Bryan started. Punk hit a couple arm drag takes downs. Cena kind of tagged himself in. He went to work on Bryan before Bryan tagged in Jericho. Both took each other down with a shoulder tackle. Cena elbowed Jericho off the apron into commercial. Back from break Jericho was working over Cena. Cena tried fighting back but Jericho caught him with a clothesline. Jericho caught Cena with an elbow and went for a Lionsault but missed. Jericho tagged in Bryan and stopped Cena from tagging in Punk. Bryan hit a barrage of kicks then a dropkick in the corner for two. Bryan tagged in Jericho again. Cena went to counter out of a headlock but botched it the first time so they rest. This time Cena went for the AA but Jericho countered with a DDT.
Cena tossed Jericho into the corner but ate a boot. Jericho went for a face plant but Cena countered by tossing Jericho into the corner again. Both men made tags. Punk hit a high knee then scoop slam on Bryan. Punk locked in the Anaconda Vice but Jericho broke it up. Cena came in and him and Jericho brawled to the outside then backstage. Bryan ducked a Punk kick then caught Punk with a kick of his own then one to the head for two. Bryan went to the top but Punk knocked him down and hit a top rope superplex for two. A.J. came out and started skipping around the ring, but neither Punk or Bryan paid attention and they continued to fight. A.J. then set up a table. Bryan tried stopping her from the ground, then Punk stopped her on the apron. She kissed Punk, then pushed Punk off the apron into Bryan, and both went through the table. A.J. celebrated by chanting YES to end the show.
Segment Analysis: That was, well, a different way to end the show. Who would have ever thought that A.J. would end an episode of RAW standing tall over the WWE Champion. A.J. has been doing a fantastic job in her role. I actually think it might have been better if she jumped through the table. But its clear A.J. is in charge. The match was good. I guess I can get the WWE not wanting one of those 4 guys to lose clean, but that is the second non finish in a row for the main event of RAW. Survey Says: 3/5
There wee some things I liked on this show, but most if it was just meh. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t good either. The opening and closing were good but everything else in between just felt like it was there. As much as I love her, I still don’t think it is good to have A.J. be the best thing going on WWE TV today. She over shadowed Sheamus in their match and is now over shadowing Punk and Daniel Bryan. Plus there’s the risk of over exposure. I still don’t really care about Money in the Bank like I normally do. I think its clear they are setting up Punk/Cena at SummerSlam. The WWE needs a big shake up and fast. I’m going to give the show a 4.
And remember kids, if you learned anything tonight, its that you can always solve your problems with a tag team match player. But don’t plan on Teddy Long being behind you to make that announcement when you are out numbered in a fight.
Until Next Time,
Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka