I’m not sure how we’re going to polish that two-hour steaming turd that WWE dropped last night – but let’s get right to it.
1.) AJ proved tonight that “less is more” – she is much more effective in small doses. Her facial expressions have been the key to her character – not her talking. The opening promo was brutal – and when the computer saves the segment, you know it was drowning. That was HHH circa 2002 material right there.
2.) Tensai and Sakamoto are the Ike and Tina Turner of the WWE.
3.) Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler need to watch this clip of Jim Ross and Paul Heyman on how to bicker convincingly. That whole episode felt contrived and slapped together. At least it led to a satisfying payoff by revealing the anonymous Raw General Manager…or something.
4.) Let’s see – TNA rolls of their best PPV maybe in the history of their company – and WWE counters with “squash, squash, squash, a 20-minute AJ segment, announcers beating each other up and Bob Backlund”. I really hope the tide is turning – if only a little bit. I don’t want one of the companies to go out of business – but I think we all agree that wrestling is better when there is valid competition between companies.
5.) Big Show’s clothesline on Kane was so stiff, it nearly knocked off his big red hair piece.
6.) John Cena has given the Attitude Adjustment/FU to the Big Show, to two men, to two men – one of which was the Big Show – and we’re supposed to be impressed when he holds a 15 pound aluminum ladder over his head?
7.) I’m pretty sure that was Eve’s version of the “Summer of Punk” promo that jumpstarted everything last year.
8.) Michael Cole summed up WWE’s creative issues perfectly when he said “Enough of what’s going on in the ring! Let’s go to a social media poll!” when it was time to reveal the voting results of his match with Lawler. Basically, they’re telling their audience “The action doesn’t matter – we just want to know we’re relevant!”
9.) I watched most of the Home Run Derby live last night, and it dawned on me the parallels between Michael Cole and Chris Berman for ESPN. Nobody seems to like either one – yet they keep getting run out there by their companies for prominent roles and positions. Both are awful announcers, too.
10.) The Cole/Lawler/Santino/Hornswoggle/Anonymous GM segment was as entertaining as Tensai is over. That was almost criminal.
11.) Bonus thought! I love that the tag line “No Ring. No Ref. No Rules.” for “No Holds Barred” is about a movie that ends in a ring with a referee. Even in 1989, Vince McMahon wasn’t paying attention to details.
Thanks for reading! Feel free to leave comments or questions on Twitter @the_ryan_brown. See you next week!