Hello there, erstwhile readers and disgruntled commenters! Ol’ Reliable here with another good read for you just days after Raw’s historic 1,000th episode. A lot has been said of many topics of discussion in the last three days, but there are three items I’d like to focus on, so let’s break this sumbitch down into a trifecta.
Odd. I just made three “number 3″ references in one sentence without meaning to.
My Thoughts on Raw 1,000; Or, How I Was Right About A Lot of Shit
As a spectacle, I thought the show hit all the right notes. There could have (and SHOULD have) been more wrestling than what we got, but I knew going in it would be a nostalgia-fest so I wasn’t shocked. I was, however, a little miffed that the highly touted (see what I did there?) title match between Punk and Cena was just a teaser. I mean, I get it; why give away a PPV-caliber match for free? However, under the circumstances I thought Vince was ready to go all-out to impress people. That match should have been 45 minutes long with a clean finish that saw Punk defeat Cena, or at the very least have Big Show cost Cena in a way that didn’t make Punk look like an opportunist.
But more on that later.
Last week I fed you my dream version of what Raw 1,000 could have been. I called the opening montage, which wasn’t a difficult thing to predict, I’ll admit (as well as Vince’s initial appearance). Although I put Jericho and Christian in a tag match against Rhodes and Ziggler, and Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, and del Rio in a three-way, they all managed to interact anyway. Jericho and Ziggler in a tag match? Yes, but on the same team. The three Mexicans in battle? Check, but with Sin Cara and Rey on the same team. We got the obligatory goofball backstage segment, but let me tell you….I did NOT expect to see Mae Young’s grown-up hand. That had me on the floor laughing. We got Heath Slater in a match with a Legend, but it wasn’t the Outlaws; it was Lita (Punk is a LUCKY man). Undertaker showed up, Ron Simmons gave us his “DAMN!” moment, and the Outlaws were there as I called it, just not in a match. Stephanie got involved in the Lesnar/Triple H angle too.
I think that pretty much sums up what I got right. Not bad, all things considered.
Oh, besides the hand appearance, another thing I did not expect to see on my TV screen again: Sean freakin’ Mooney. And did anyone else catch the awkward moment between Trish and X-Pac? That was creepy. Dude looked like Mizark Henry without the padding and black-face.
I’ll admit that my plan for Taker to be GM was a little hokey, but the idea of AJ in charge could really bring just as much unpredictability to Raw. That certainly tops MY plan and I don’t think anybody saw that one coming.
Brock Lesnar; Or, Why People Are Cheezed Off
There are few times in this business we call wrestling where I can successfully predict something, and when I do, it only seems fair that I get to gloat about it. Our own Kyle Fitta’s latest pretty much sums up what many people feel about the Lesnar contract’s payoff, and it was something I brought up weeks ago. In short, the Lesnar signing was a rash and ultimately not-at-all-thought-out business decision. If the company had sat down with Brock and his people months before and actually planned all of this out, they wouldn’t have needed to bring in Heyman to maintain interest and draw things out. Had the situation been scripted from day one, his dates could have been utilized more effectively. Look at the deal made with The Rock; he’s been signed for multiple upcoming Wrestlemanias and big dates in-between. The bottom line is this: Lesnar unexpectedly quit MMA and the WWE saw a big cash draw in his ties to UFC and therefore a means to bring in the audience. That was their ultimate goal in the signing and everything else was just expected to fall into place. Personally, I don’t care either way how Lesnar fits into the WWE landscape. He’s a special attraction like The Rock and won’t have any long-term effects on the company; the limited dates they have to work with will ensure that. Will he have some memorable moments? Undoubtedly. But with Brock not here for the long haul, why should I give a damn, especially when he’s facing Triple H? The only outcome that needs to happen at Summerslam is Lesnar’s domination of The Game. Anything less is a waste of money.
We do have some weeks before the show, so perhaps they could find a reason for me to care. I’ll be waiting.
CM Punk; Or, The Conflicted Heel Turn?
The ending of Monday night’s show left a bad taste in my mouth. Not because Punk showed signs of a heel turn (Rule 1: Attacking The Rock will get you booed). I love Punk as a heel and I love that he is still WWE Champion, as well as the fact that Cena failed to cash-in successfully (it’ll be written off as an asterisk since Cena “technically” won by DQ). I’m just not a fan of what this portends for the title scene. With Cena winning via DQ, and Big Show constantly in his face, I see no alternative but a Big Show vs CM Punk vs John Cena title match at Summerslam.
Not only that; if Punk does indeed turn heel, the top face he’d battle for the title would be Mr. Cena, who defies all logic and overcomes all odds (Rule 2: If you’re a heel, Cena will defeat you). That’s basically saying that the belt will eventually go back around Cena’s waist at Punk’s expense, and that’s something I’m just not comfortable with.
I suppose the most intriguing thing about all of this will be the race to see who faces The Rock at the Royal Rumble, so that’s a plus.
The only thing I can do now is wait until next Monday to see how things start to take shape.
So long, and thanks for all the Sean Mooney.
Tags: aj lee, alberto del rio, big show, Brock Lesnar, chris jericho, christian, cm punk, Dolph Ziggler, Heath Slater, john cena, Lita, Mae Young, Mike Gojira, New Age Outlaws, Paul Heyman, Raw 1000, rey mysterio, Ron Simmons, royal rumble, sean mooney, sin cara, Stephanie McMahon, Summerslam, The Rock, triple h, Trish Stratus, UFC, undertaker, WWE, wwe championship, X-Pac