No tweets or Touts about whether or not Jerry Lawler is suffering from anal bleeding after that kick to close out the show last night – I’ll update this if needed. Let’s get to the rest of the show!
1.) Great callback by Paul Heyman when he brought up HHH finishing the (in my opinion) best match in the history of Monday Night Raw with a torn quadracep.
2.) I marked out when Darren Young tried to pick Cody Rhodes’s hair.
3.) I’m not proud to admit it, but I’m more interested in the Ryback/Jinder Mahal feud than I am about seeing another Alberto Del Rio/Sheamus match. That’s probably not the reaction the WWE was looking for.
4.) I skipped most of the match between the two most boring wrestlers in the WWE – Del Rio and Randy Orton – because I was busy chewing on tinfoil.
5.) Sheamus is a face…right? He’s almost “Repo Man-esque” with his shenanigans.
6.) Good Lord – that 3-hour knob-slobbing of HHH is so self-serving and transparent. This may have actually worked if it were anyone other than “The Game” – and if anyone actually thought that HHHCOO was done in the ring.
7.) I’m sure that “show a still photo with my saggy man boobs prominently displayed” was PRECISELY the image on how HHH envisioned riding off into the sunset.
8.) Congratulations, Big Show! You are a “mystery opponent” for the 1,000th time in your career! You win a David Otunga travel mug.
9.) Kane’s partner is….Christ, I give up. I absolutely give up. I was mad when my buddy returned my car without filling up the gas tank. I can’t imagine what I would have done if he had pushed me off a stage while I was in a wheelchair.
10.) How many Divas quit during THAT battle royal?
11.) I have to give props to Michael Cole and Lawler for putting over how important the Dolph Ziggler/Chris Jericho match was due to the stipulations. They also did a good job in referencing John Cena being the first person to unsuccessfully cash in their “Money in the Bank” title shot.
12.) OHMYGOD – I thought Jericho was dead on that hurricanrana from the top.
13.) If Lawler had studied Fozzy’s upcoming tour schedule, maybe he wouldn’t be in such disbelief about Jericho being gone from the WWE.
14.) THHHAT’S HHHow you put somebody over, WWE. Jericho did the clean job, and Ziggler was the main focus afterwards.
(Watches Jericho immediately get his heat back on Ziggler.)
15.) Never mind.
16.) Please tell me why we were supposed to cheer for the faces tonight? Sheamus, Brodus Clay, Jericho, Ryder for acting like an idiot – even Lawler was a moron on commentary tonight.
17.) Oh – that’s why. So Super Cena could be SUPA-OVAH. That final segment was…odd. Cena’s promo was rambling and not really on target. And just for once – I want one WWE Superstar to tell CM Punk “I want the title belt”. Not “I want respect” or “This is your defining moment” – but simply “I want to beat you for the title to be the best.”
18.) Love love LOVE the “We want Tensai – signed: Nobody” sign.