Sorry about the lateness of this write-up. Between work, my internet acting an ass and accidentally deleting my original draft and some…other things….
Eh, enough about my personal issues. Here’s “The Superstars Report.”
Ryback vs. Johnny Curtis
Curtis is apprehensive to start the match. I would be too after seeing what almost happened to Swagger the last time he stepped into the ring with the bottomless-human-garbage-disposal. Ryback pushes Curtis into a corner. Then he pushes him into another one. When the ref. calls for the break Curtis hits Ryback then flees from the ring. Ryback chases him back in and Curtis wails on him with clubbing blows and forearms. How cute. Curtis hits the ropes and gets caught with a shoulder-block which causes him to stumble into a corner. Ryback calls him stupid then throws him to the one on the opposite side. Ryback charges but Curtis gets an elbow up to repel him, then he comes off of the middle rope with a diving clothelines. Ryback immediately shoves Curtis off of him at 1. Johnny throws a few rights before applying a front face-lock. Ryback tries to pick him up but Curtis clubs the back and knees him in the head 3 times forcing him back down. The second time is the charm though and Ryback breaks the hold with a reverse suplex variation. Curtis gets knocked down with another shoulder-block. He is then picked up and rammed into the corner where he receives 3 shoulder thrust to the gut. Ryback puts him over his right shoulder for a delayed back-body-drop. Curtis gets a big boot to the chest and a clothesline before being finished off with the muscle buster. Well that was underwhelming.
Primo & Epico with Rosa Mendes vs. The Usos
It’s good to see that Rosa appears to be doing okay. Jimmy & Epico lock-up. Jimmy applies a wristlock then takes Epico down with a headlock. Epico puts Jimmy in the head-scissors forcing him to kip-up to escape. The previous sequence repeats itself only this time Epico finds himself in the head-scissors. He isn’t fortunate enough to escape using the kip-up though and has to use the ropes to get the hold broken. They lock-up again and Epico uses another wristlock. Jimmy reverses with one of his own and Epico seeks the safety of the ropes. Epico goes for a toe kick but gets caught; Jimmy tags out and The Usos use the double-back-elbow-to-double-elbow-drop to get 2. *take a shot* Epico is whipped to the ropes but slides under Jay and goes for a dropkick but gets swatted away. *take 2 shots* Epico tags out in frustration and Primo charges in but gets his legs swept for a 1-count. Epico immediately responds with a spinning leg sweep for a 1-count for his team. Epico gets thrown into a corner after a reversed whip and does a handstand. When Jay turns around he’s put into position for a head-scissors takeover. He counters by pulling Epico out of the corner making him eat mat. Jays tags in and Epico gets a double head-butt then a knife-edge-chop in the corner. Jay uses a baseball slide to avoid being thrown into a corner and knocks down Primo with a double palm strike to the chest. Primo appears to be on the ropes but he catches Jay running into the corner with a foot to the face. A suplex gets a quick 1-count for Epico. Jay finds himself in a side head-lock but quickly gets to his feet and throws some right hands to the gut but Epico throws him into the mat face-first. Epico goes for a springboard corkscrew senton but Jay rolls out of the way and tags in Jimmy. Jimmy scores several knockdowns with forearms. Primo comes in and gets thrown right back out. Jimmy follows him to the floor with a diving-shoulder-block from the apron and Jay lands on Primo with a springboard cross-body. *take a shot* The Usos stand tall as they head to commercial.
We rejoin the action and Epico has just head-butted Jimmy. This has no effect on him and he returns the favor knocking Epico down. Jimmy is whipped into a corner after a reversal but he gets his right knee up. He climbs onto the middle turnbuckle and knocks Primo off of the apron he comes runs into the shot. Epico quickly takes advantage of the distraction and knocks Jimmy off the turnbuckle and onto the floor. Primo drives Jimmy into the ring edge back-first behind the ref’s back. He then enters the ring with a springboard somersault senton and puts Jimmy into a side-headlock. He fights out of it and tries to tag-out but gets hit with a drop-toe-hold and is dragged to his opponents’ corner. Epico delivers a stomp to Jimmy’s chest before raking his face with both feet. Epico continues the assault with a backdrop suplex. He maintains the hold to deliver two more before going for the pin but only gets 2. Jimmy fights out of another head-lock and goes for a sunset flip. Epico tags-out before he can complete the maneuver and gets drop-kicked in the stomach by an incoming Primo. Jimmy is placed in a corner and is forced to take a seat due to a knife-edge-chop. He fights back with right hands but a kick to the gut puts a halt to that. He’s whipped into the adjacent corner but avoids a running dropkick and Primo ends up in the tree-of-woe position. The two legal men tag-out and Jay unleashes on Epico! Right hands! A knife-edge-chop! Side kick to the gut! Samoan drop! *take 3 shots* Running hip attack in the corner! 1-2-oh Primo breaks up the count! Jimmy lowers the top rope and Primo ends up on the floor. He recover quickly though and pulls Jimmy’s legs out from under him which causes his face to bounce off of the apron. Epico goes for the backstabber but counters with an arm throw. Super kick! Super kick! Epico is down! Jay makes the climb and connect with the diving splash! Jay goes for the cover but Rosa distracts the referee and Primo takes advantage with a backstabber! Primo & Epico steal a victory. That was an okay tag match.
Main Event: Alex Riley vs. Jinder Mahal
There’s a tie-up and a break to start things off. Mahal applies a wristlock, Riley reverses with one of his own then turns it into a side headlock. Mahal ties to push him off, Riley drops to his knees to maintain the hold. Mahal throws himself to the mat and that allows him to escape. Riley gets back to his feet quickly but Mahal knocks him right back down with a shoulder-block. They do the leapfrog routine and Riley catches Mahal with a hip-toss suplex. Head-lock takedown by Riley. Mahal gets to his feet and backs Riley into the ropes. Mahal takes advantage of A-Ry putting his hands up like a goof and kicks him in the gut. He adds a few more strikes before Irish-whipping Riley to the ropes. He tries to catch him on the rebound with a lariat but it’s Riley who catches him with a sliding punch to the gut that’s followed with a single-leg dropkick. Mahal reverses an attempted whip into a corner. Riley vaults over him then charges and Mahal hip tosses him onto the top turnbuckle! Mahal dropkicks Riley in the torso as he writhes in pain on the mat causing him to hit the floor. Mahal then throws Riley back-first into the barricade and pins him for 2.
Riley fights out of a head-lock with rights to the stomach and swings for the fences but Mahal ducks and plants him with a backdrop suplex for 2. Mahal puts Riley in a chinlock, then he uses his right hand to wrench his neck while simultaneously trapping his left arm with his own. Riley fights back but is cut-off by a knee to the gut. Mahal goes for another backdrop suplex but Riley shifts his weight to land on top for a pinning predicament but only gets 2! Riley ducks a lariat and dropkicks Mahal in the chest and both men are down. Riley appears to be building momentum with a pair of lariats but Mahal postpones his comeback by getting his right knee up as A-Ry charges into the corner he stumbled into. Mahal tries to press the advantage but gets a spine-buster instead. Riley uses the jumping d.d.t. to put Mahal aw-ooooooh kick-out at 2-and-a-half. Riley positions himself for the A-Bomb but Mahal throws himself onto the top rope and Riley lands there as well, only he does so on his stomach. A running knee to the chest/jaw put Riley in the perfect position for the Camel Clutch and Mahal earns the submission victory. This was shoulder-shruggingly passable and Mahal recovered from that d.d.t. too quickly for my taste. Eh, whatever.
Well that’s it for this edition. I’ll try to have the newest one up as quickly as possible. See you next time folks. Be safe out there folks.