Let me go the record and say that for the first time ever, I enjoyed Night of Champions and actually enjoyed it more than Summer Slam (I still refuse to type it as one word). I’m gonna let that statement really sink in for a moment, maybe take a quick swim and see how the water feels. I say that because I remember a month ago, walking away from Summer Slam in a sour mood and just despising everything. But why did I really hate Summer Slam? I mean, we started off seeing Jericho and Ziggler, the Punk/Cena/Big Show match wasn’t nearly as godawful as expected and the Lesnar/HHH match mostly delivered. So would I argue that a Kevin Rudolph performance and a lackluster ending enough to ruin an entire pay per view? I absolutely would (but essentially just because of Rudolph). Moving on!
(Side Note: I would seriously love seeing Ryder defend the Internet Championship on the youtube preshow, it makes so much sense that it hurts)
Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz(c) vs Cody Rhodes vs Rey Mysterio vs Sin Cara
I was completely unaware this match wasn’t a triple threat but then again, I do my best to ignore Sin Cara and his cheesy, 90s tropical beach porn theme music. Out of my own personal bias, I would much rather have seen a match with just Miz and Cody but I do understand WEE needs to sell some masks to the kiddies.
Tag Team Championship Match: Team Friendship vs R-Truth & Kofi Kingston(c)
Sorry Kofi and Truth, I don’t mind you guys but you just can’t get in the way of whatever it is that’s creatively brewing with Daniel Bryan and Kane. I know I’ve gone on and on and on about how much I’m loving this situation but I just can’t say enough how Kane is knocking this out of the park. The Disneyland proclamation was just brilliant and delivered with such boyish glee that one has to believe that’s what Kane was like before Undertaker burned his family alive. As always, I don’t know where this is going or how the company will find a way to screw this all up but I’m enjoying everything so far.
US Championship Match: Antonio Cesaro(c) vs Zack Ryder
I really don’t want to talk about this match because I don’t really want to recognize a certain someone was right about Ryder winning the preshow battle royal. However, I will say this, Cesaro needs to drop the “single word in five languages schtick” soon because it’s one thing to do it arrogantly but being angry (as he was on commentary on Raw) but still taking the time to say an angry word in 5 languages kinda takes away from the rage (trust me, I’m a rage expert). Also, I like to point this out any chance I get, Cesaro has weird nipples (not that I’m staring at his nipples or anything).
Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler
Welcome to another edition of Orton phoning it up but only this time, it looks half decent because he’s going against Ziggler. I don’t know if Orton doesn’t care or is just pissed off at the world lately but something is off lately. He’s giving fans the finger and dropping F bombs on the camera men. I can only assume that he wants to be a heel but the company won’t let him so he’s resorting to turn himself without the help of a storyline (which is kinda how he turned face to begin with).
Divas Championship Match: Layla(c) vs Eve
Can you smell that in the air? That’s the smell of an actual Diva storyline in the making. Like, one with actually thought and planning ahead of time. Doesn’t that feel weird on the inside? Yeah, me too. Eve is the new champ and Kaitlyn is suspicious while Layla is in the cross-fire! Heavens to murgatroid! What will happen next?!
World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus(c) vs Alberto Del Rio
I’d rather go back to the Diva’s match and break it down further. Seriously, these two guys make me want the brand split again because at least then we would only get it force-fed to us once a week for months and months. And we spent the past few weeks being told about how we should care if the Brogue Kick was legal or not only for Booker to throw it out the window right before the match. Add all of that to the fact that there is no ‘feud’ here because it’s be ALL Sheamus ALL the time. The only thing this run has done is completely buried Del Rio.
WWE Championship Match: CM Punk(c) vs John Cena
This was an instance where the storytelling got in the way of a really good match. Don’t get me wrong, the ending was a great way to have Punk hold on to the belt but continuing the feud and maintaining Cena looking invincible (God forbid Cena ever appear weaker) but in a small picture sense, it ruined the match. I don’t know what it is but Punk brings a lot of great things out of Cena in their matches and I would’ve loved to finally see one of their matches end cleanly (and who knows, we still might get it soon). Of course we found out today that Cena has surgery today but miraculously Cena will only miss 2-3 weeks. Being the top guy must make you heal miraculously quick, eh?
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
The Answer: There’s this cute girl that started working in the same area as me a couple months ago. The first time I had an opportunity to talk to her and I said, “you’re getting some cake, too?” Guess who has two thumbs and absolutely no game?
Tags: alberto del rio, Antonio Cesaro, chris sanders, cm punk, Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Eve, john cena, kane, Layla, Night of Champions, randy orton, rey mysterio, sheamus, sin cara, The Miz, The Rager, WWE, zack ryder