Hello there, ladies and gents of the Pulse Realm! Goji is dealing with that pesky statutory charge…I mean vacation to Virginia…
Anywho, I’m reprising my role as 10 Thoughts on Smackdown Wizard for the day because every member of my family is in town and I’m trying to simultaneously clean. Bear with me.
1. NXT FLASHBACK — Sheamus and Show are instructed to demonstrate their finishers on the silly arcade punching bag that measures strength by square inch. Sheamus brings in an impressive 1322. Big Show brings an 1809. And I’m at a 1.3. Oh wait, that’s my BAC.
2. Hey look! My Niners are in attendance. Is this worthy of one whole thought? No? Okay um…I like JBL and Mathews as a commentary team. There.
3. I guess it’s a good thing that Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew Mcintyre are working together these days. That means I can zone out for only one segment, instead of multiple. I do really like Santino and Zack Ryder, so I’m torn. Too bad my last hope for intrigue died because they weren’t victorious against these pretenders. Wah.
Sidebar: The WWE13 commercial with Punk is epic.
4. The chemistry between Dolph and Kane was delectable. They really seemed to hate each other from start to finish. And the tension between Daniel Bryan and Kane? Even more delightful. Loved when they worked together to destroy Matt Striker. This team may even rival JeriShow’s awesomeness, but let’s not jinx it.
5. Am I the only one who’s completely bored of Big Show? I can’t be alone in this. Even against a generally fun competitor like Kofi Kingston, he’s more dull than a Mitt Romney promise.
6. I don’t like ADR coming off as a scared little girl in these backstage segments, but I do like that we get to see a match between him and Daniel Bryan tonight!
7. Are we seriously still pretending like we care about who “attacked” Kaitlyn? All this bickering and screeching is giving me a headache. Give me a real Divas
8. Oh, I forgot about the Rhodes Scholars. They, along with Hell No, are restoring my faith in the tag team division. It’s actually interesting again! Sandow looked great against Sin Cara, even with a surprising loss.
9. Daniel Bryan is fascinating. He is just amazing to watch, and knows how to do what you love to see, while simultaneously throwing in some innovative maneuvers that really make you go, “WOW!” I wish we had more wrestlers like him, but maybe being a gem in a heap of gravel is what makes him so great. Though I can’t say I’m happy that he tapped out to Alberto del Rio. Especially so quickly. Blarg.
10. Can’t say I’m surprised that Orton showed up while ADR was mocking him. However, the way Randy appeared was great! As well as the beatdown afterwards. A good way to end the show, I must say.
Well, we go back to normal next week. And good thing, too. I actually have to pay attention when I’m flying solo.