THE RAGER! – The Thanksgiving Day Special (CM Punk, Dean Ambrose, Big Show)
by Chris Sanders on November 21, 2012

First off, let me wish you and yours a most happy Thanksgiving. I know I have plenty to be thankful for, one of those things would be each and every one of you, the good folks that take time out of their busy days just to read my thoughts and completely hate, despise or agree. Most of all, I am thankful for my dad (referred to in the very first edition of THE RAGER as “Pops”) because earlier this year, we got news that he is now completely cancer-free after an almost 3 year battle. During the last year of that battle, THE RAGER was a great escape for me where I could just concentrate on wrestling for a little bit and I would like to thank everyone for giving me that opportunity as well as the well-wishes from everybody for Pops.

Enough of all the touchy feely stuff, LET US RAGE!

Again, it’s the week of Thanksgiving and because of that, I thought I’d take a break from the regularly scheduled “Thoughts-on-PPV” RAGER and hit you all up with a list of all the things I’m thankful for in the world of WWE (That’s right, the world of World Wrestling Entertainment, redundancy is runnin’ wild).

1. The IWC can finally stop complaining: CM Punk has been champ for over a year, WWE has actually pushed their young talent to the top of the card (Ryback), Daniel Bryan is being used consistently, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose finally debuted and Ziggler cleanly beat Orton at Survivor Series and pushed to the top against Cena. I should rephrase my initial statement, the IWC can find something new to complain about (come at me, yo).
2. Damien Sandow, just because of everything.
3. A really great year for WWE PPVs (minus Elimination Chamber, Summer Slam and anything involving John Laurinaitis). Survivor Series was really good, top to bottom (minus the scandal update), and made me actually interesting in Del Rio’s involvement which could only be described as miraculous.
4. Big Show being WHC. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely despise Show with every fiber of my being. However, Sheamus being champ and facing Del Rio over and over and over without any advancements in the actual story was getting horrendous. Sure, we’re still getting Sheamus shoved down our throats but at least Sheamus doesn’t have the belt anymore and he isn’t facing Del Rio anymore.
5. I actually like the Diva’s division now. Is it being handled effectively, of course not, but for the first time in a long time, there doesn’t appear to be any Diva that I despise (mostly thanks to the departures of Kelly Kelly and the Bella twins).
6. Kaitlyn
7. AJ (but not the scandal story)
8. The Tag Team division is back in full force and not just something Teddy Long does for every Smackdown main event.
9. Jerry Lawler is alive and well. I still despise his commentary (I won’t repeat the expletives that were yelled when I heard Jerry’s “Hoes-B” joke the first time, let alone when he said it again the next night) but I’m glad he’s doing better and that WWE decided to wait until after he came back before they made a storyline out of it.
10. Johnny Curtis will be on my tv once again very soon. This guy was gold in my eyes during his time in NXT and the fact that he has a new character, possibly an off-ramp of his NXT character, makes me completely happy. Of course there is a chance that Fandango completely flops dead but I’m willing to take that risk.
11. Team Friendship: Everything they do warms up my innards.
12. There’s a chance Mark Henry will return fairly soon. A year and a half ago, I rolled my eyes every time I heard Henry’s music hit. However, since then the guy has completely transformed his career and gave us something completely fantastic in all phases.
13. The Miz seems like he has a purpose in the company again.
14. Paul Heyman is on my TV on a regular basis.
15. We are seeing more Tyson Kidd.

And now it’s time for us to go around the dinner table: What are you most thankful for in WWE today?
Have a great Thanksgiving, one and all

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice
Chris

The Answer: The ability to eat fries without using my hands is equal parts impressive and pathetic. Ladies, ladies, one at a time, please.




Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Columns Articles

more articles »

WWE Monday Night RAW LIVE Results For 7/21/14: Is It Time For Plan C?

Inside Pulse Wrestling's Live Coverage of WWE Battleground 2014

Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for July 18th 2014: Did We All Forget About Battleground?

Rasslin' Roundtable - WWE Battleground 2014

Chris Sanders

view profile »
  • CB40

    James: You are WAY OFF if you think Swayze drives people away. In fact, that is one of the most baseless accusations I’ve ever read, and it’s sad coming from someone as studied and intelligent as yourself.

    In fact, Swayze’s old columns got INSANE comments and traffic. So, really, he’s nowhere near the problem as much as a) the Disqus switch; and b) the deep wrestling lull that’s happened since WrestleMania.

  • CB40

    LOL Chris, feels good to get some commenting love as you RAGE ON, doesn’t it? Good stuff my man.

  • Blair A. Douglas

    They certainly did make my life easier. Basically I would just copy and paste whatever they wrote on my column, and be on my merry way.

  • Blair A. Douglas

    I take full credit for this.

  • Blair A. Douglas

    You know who I blame for less people coming here? Shaemus and Mark Henry. They ruin everything.

  • Blair A. Douglas

    Oh yeah? Well, I had sex with your wife!

  • Blair A. Douglas

    Church.

  • Blair A. Douglas

    I would read that.

  • James A

    @CB40:disqus @164dacbd235e84afa3ae82358ef4aa3e:disqus Let’s put things straight here, shall we? Here’s the discussion in microcosm. Where on earth is the “baseless accusation”?

    BROSKI (in response to Swayze’s comments on
    the article): “Oh my God, dude, you like a wrestler that me and my bros don’t!
    How dare you! Wrestling fans are so weird!

    ME: “People hesitate to get involved in the
    discussion when there’s a constant risk that they’ll get shot down for liking
    something that someone else doesn’t.”

    BLAIR: “It would be a good point, if that
    type of thing were actually taking place.”

    [So I scrolled up and came to the first
    example of “that taking place” that I found. Which was Swayze’s “bullshit”
    comment. It was luck of the draw. Ignoring the fact that Swayze’s comments were
    what prompted Broski’s original contribution. Broski, by the way, is probably
    laughing his ass off right now at how far this has come. Rightfully so.]

    I also said this straight afterwards,
    though, which everyone seems to have ignored. Probably because I didn’t type it
    in capitals and call someone a bitch at the end of it.

    ME (to Blair): “Heck, you and I have
    back-and-forthed for days at a time about how wrong the other one is. Looking
    back, I’m not sure that kind of thing has really encouraged readers.”

    [So… I haven’t blamed anyone so far. And if
    I WERE blaming anyone for the hypothetical situation that we’re getting less
    commenters, I’m very clearly including myself among the list of people who can
    be misunderstood on these forums. The fact that Swayze and CB have misunderstood
    / misread me, by the way, proves that it happens. Which is fitting, but it
    nevertheless feels like a hollow victory.]

    BLAIR: “having known Swayze for years I can
    tell you he’s having fun while making his points. You and I go back and forth
    too, but that’s enjoyable and because you’re a fun guy to spar with.”

    ME: “You’ve known Swayze for years, so his
    more abrasive comments don’t bother you. You and he have gone back and forth
    plenty of times. You and I have debated loads of stuff. CB and Goji had a
    cheeky back-and-forth the other day. Stuff like that goes on, and it’s cool,
    because it’s just chatting about wrestling when you get right down to it.

    If I’m a passer-by, though, and I only arrived
    here by Googling “The Rock”, and I saw something which I – correctly
    or incorrectly – interpreted as hostility on a message board, I’d think twice
    before commenting.”

    [Again, I haven’t accused anyone. If
    anything, I’ve stuck up for everyone I’ve mentioned by laughing it off as “just
    wrestling.”

    I’ve simply said that if you aren’t a “regular”
    around here, perhaps you might be put off by some of the more heated stuff
    written by anyone I mentioned – Swayze, Blair, myself, Gojira, CB and so on.
    What’s the problem with saying that? You don’t have to agree, but I’m certainly
    not making a “baseless accusation.” I’m comparing the initial observation made
    by Broski with a trend in reader comments that OTHER PEOPLE have noticed and
    provided alternative explanations for. It’s called “analysis.”]

    This is where Swayze got the wrong end of
    the stick, and started swearing like he’d just trodden barefoot on an errant
    piece of Lego. I stuck up for myself, understandably so, and schooled the poor
    chap. Anyway, I’ve explained this in as clear and a calm way as is humanly
    possible. Anyone who takes offence is overreacting.

    Swayze, I think that it’s pretty clear that
    nothing I said to this point was meant to offend ANYONE. Unlike when you called
    me a “fucking idiot”, a “retard”, a “bitch,” etc etc etc. And in this case,
    buddy, it really did all go sour because of you. You can dish it out but you
    can’t take it. I’m tired of your hypocrisy and your irrational vendetta against
    me. And you want an apology? For me embarrassing you with the truth?

    One person disagrees with you and you play
    the “everyone gangs up on me” card. It’s absurd. I feel bad for you.

    Broski was bang on the money. Wrestling
    fans are weird.

  • James A

    Swayze, before this chat of ours I never said a word against you. You baited me and baited me (and I can find those taunts if you like, but you know exactly what I’m talking about), but I never gave your insults the time of day. Heck, last week I commented that I loved your Angle/Swagger doppelganger idea. I had nothing personal against you.

    This time you just got it all wrong, and I let you know it. And you didn’t like that – even though you’re happy to do it to me. That’s hypocrisy right there.

    Mike, let me tell you why a joint article between Swayze and I wouldn’t work out: because I already suggested it, ages ago, and Swayze wouldn’t play ball. Swayze, CB, Blair and I, along with a few others, were having a pretty heated debate on one of Glazer’s old columns. Swayze and I were on opposite sides of the discussion, naturally, but it was just a laugh. Someone suggested that those involved have a tag-team debate in the form of a series of articles. I was all for it – it sounded fun. Swayze, however, replied “Screw you, and screw your stupid tag team debate.” It ended there, which was a real shame.

    That’s your guy. The one who’s “happy to help” (unless that help involves writing more than three columns, I guess). The guy just hates the idea of being disagreed with. Unless you’re Blair, for some reason. It’s my great loss, I’m sure.
    Maybe he’s changed his tune since then. In which case, good for him! And if this argument with me has spurred him to change his ways – to be someone willing to do “anything you need” in stark contrast to the track record of nothing very much, hey, I’m glad I could be of service.

  • FDSwayze

    “Where on earth is the “baseless accusation”?”

    I’ll show you.

    “[So I scrolled up and came to the first
    example of “that taking place” that I found. Which was Swayze’s “bullshit”
    comment. It was luck of the draw. Ignoring the fact that Swayze’s comments were
    what prompted Broski’s original contribution. Broski, by the way, is probably
    laughing his ass off right now at how far this has come. Rightfully so.]”

    You sound like a child who has been caught in a lie. It wasn’t luck of the draw. It was you trying to make it sound like my orginal comment and other comments I make on this site are actually driving people away. You are guilty. It’s over dude. We all know that. Stop acting like a baby, be a man, and just own up to it.

    “[Again, I haven’t accused anyone. If anything, I’ve stuck up for everyone I’ve mentioned by laughing it off as “just wrestling.”"

    Hahaha. So you're a patriot now? Anyway, again, you DID blame me, you commented because of me, this whole thing is about me. You're lying if you deny that.

    "[So… I haven’t blamed anyone so far. And if I WERE blaming anyone for the hypothetical situation that we’re getting less commenters, I’m very clearly including myself among the list of people who can be misunderstood on these forums. The fact that Swayze and CB have misunderstood / misread me, by the way, proves that it happens. Which is fitting, but it nevertheless feels like a hollow victory.]”

    This would be the third time you’ve tried to explain how you haven’t blamed anyone and you are just an innocent bystander. If you want to include yourself, then use yourself in examples. Not me. You’ve proven nothing except you are a liar and have difficulty taking responsibility for your own words and actions.

    “I’ve simply said that if you aren’t a “regular” around here, perhaps you might be put off by some of the more heated stuff written by anyone I mentioned – Swayze, Blair, myself, Gojira, CB and so on. What’s the problem with saying that?”

    The problem with saying that is that it had nothing at all to do with the column. If you wanted to say that multiple people may be writing heated comments that keep new potential readers away, I would feel less singled out, but this still isn’t the appropriate place for it. The problem is you DID WITHOUT A DOUBT single me out.

    It’s the not the first time it’s happened to me. It used to happen anytime I would say anything on here. Now it’s just you and Wombat. Every single time. You can lie and pretend it’s not happening all you want, but only you and Wombat actually believe that.

    You’re wrong James. I’m sorry, but in this case you are wrong and you do owe me an apology.

  • FDSwayze

    I appriecate your understanding and I apologize for the comments section of your column getting out of hand. I do enjoy reading your columns but rarely if ever comment. I hesitate commenting and would comment alot more, but am hesitant given how I’m treated here. I’ll still be RAGIN’ whenever you write something though my man. FIST PUMP!

  • James A

    I think that you have reading problems.

    “If you wanted to say that multiple people may be writing heated comments that keep new potential readers away”

    That’s exactly what I did. I named several people. Including myself. WHY CAN’T YOU READ?

    You playing the victim card is hilarious, by the way. You feel singled out? Who’s crying, Swayze? Because it isn’t me. If you were me, you’d be making “go home to mummy” jokes now, like last time. You’re pathetic. Stop embarrassing yourself.

  • Blair A. Douglas

    “You’re pathetic. Stop embarrassing yourself.”

    PERSONAL ATTACK!!!
    Pot. Kettle. Etc.

  • http://twitter.com/wrestling_facts Wrestling Facts

    Approximately 15 of the items on this list are not things for which one should be thankful.

  • CB40

    I think this thread has reached EPIC status. RAGE on everyone.

  • Zork

    At this point in time you’ve thoroughly gone against your original point about how heated debates and off topic arguments supposedly drives potential new readers away. You’ve further perpetuated that idea with all this. You can’t say “I’m only responding” or anything because really, it takes two and you’re participating in this. This is making you look like a hypocrite yourself.

    Look, if Swayze bothers you that much just ignore him. Can you do that? I ignore people I don’t like on here all the time, unless they tried to call me out on something or whatever…which is what you did after he initially replied to this column albeit very passive aggressively. If you don’t think you did that sorry, but it really comes off that way…just like how you’re saying Swayze comes off like an asshole in his comments to you, not comments directed towards you specifically, but when you read them in general.

  • James A

    You’re not wrong! I’m fully aware that I’ve only served to perpetuate this aggressive and off-topic argument. It’s a shame that I’ve had to lower myself to such a degree. It certainly does take two to tango.

    I do regret that it became so personal. I’d like to clarify that I never intended for things to get out of hand. It certainly didn’t begin that way. I didn’t single out Swayze – I referenced a comment that he made by way of an example, as well as things that a lot of other people, including myself, have said in the past. I quoted him directly, yes, but only because his was the first example I found of the sort of behaviour Broski originally referred to. I could have quoted everyone I listed, yes, but how much longer do you want these comments to be?

    Before all of this, I’d ignored Swayze’s attacks in the past, and gone so far as to compliment his ideas, if not his writing. Just for once, I’ve played him at his own game. Perhaps that was a bad decision. I don’t regret putting a bully in his place, though.

    Also, to clarify, I only suggested that a smaller variety of people were commenting. I never suggested that the site was losing readers. People do seem to have lost sight of the initial argument.

  • Zork

    Things can get a bit convoluted and tiresome after 68 comments, going on 69 now…

    I think that in of it’s self calls for a…FIST PUMP! (There I finally did one)

    Anyhow, I think the whole thing to take away from all this is that this is a fun place to talk about guys fake fighting. No matter what happens. Everyone’s got their flavor, some people have different tastes.

  • Chris Sanders

    Sorry Facts, Swayze beat you to that joke days ago. Try again, I know you can do it.

  • FDSwayze

    Hello and welcome to Swayze Masterpiece Theatre. I call this scene ‘MORAL VICTORY’. Enjoy…

    JAMES: Thank you all for coming to this EVERYONE vs. SWAYZE meeting. Today I’m here to educate you about the single biggest threat to our planet. You see, there is something out there that threatens our very existence, and may be the end of the human race as we know it. I’m talking of course about Swayze.

    BLAIR: Uh…seriously?

    JAMES: I’m super cereal.

    ZORK: Do we have to destroy Swayze? Maybe if he bothers you, you could just ignore him?

    JAMES: I wish it were that simple Zork. But this is a threat none of us can ignore, as it may crush the fabric of our very society. I’m super cereal about this. He must be destroyed.

    BLAIR: Um…Seriously?!?

    GEPP: Yeah James um…what are you basing this on?

    JAMES: As you can see from this 700 page Powerpoint presentation, leading scientists from all over the world have determined that Swayze’s destructive rampage has already begun. The population has dramatically lowered, and now we are missing Chris Sanders!

    SANDERS: I’m right here. Hello.

    CB: I like you James, but none of those figures seem to make any sense. In fact, it looks like you just made them all yourself with a red crayon.

    JAMES: Fuschia.

    CB: Huh?

    JAMES: It’s fuschia.

    CB: Few…

    JAMES: Fuschia. I’m super cereal.

    SWAYZE: What is going on in here? Are you guys having a meeting about me?

    JAMES: Oh my god! We aren’t talking about you!!! It says right there on the banner: EVERYONE vs Swayze. EVERYONE! We are talking about everyone!!! Boo hoo hoo.

    BLAIR: Wait. Seriously!?!?!

    GEPP: It’s okay James. Just calm down. It will be okay. I promise. Dry those tears buddy.

    JAMES: But I’m super serial and nobody will listen to me! Boo hoo hoo! He’s going to destroy everything! Because he’s a wigger methhead. And he’s always calling people names. Boo hoo hoo!

    ZORK: Okay James, now you are calling people names.

    JAMES: I AM NOT! Boo hoo hoo. I never said he was a wigger methhead!!! Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo.

    BLAIR: So you really…uh…um…seriously?

    JAMES: Just go away Swayze! Boo hoo hoo. Nobody here even likes you!!! Boo hoo hoo.

    CB: We all like both of you.

    GEPP: Yeah James. It’s okay man. Just dry your tears and try to take a deep breath.

    SWAYZE: Is this crybaby bitch for real?

    JAMES: WHAAAAA! IAMNOTACRYBABYBITCHIMSUPERCEREALWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

    BLAIR: Come on! Seriously!?!

    SWAYZE: Wow, this is retarded.

    ZORK: Yeah, great meeting. Really. But I think I left my stove on.

    CB: And we all need to help Zork with that stove. But great meeting. I think we really learned alot.

    (After everyone leaves)

    JAMES: I’ve finally done it. I’ve defeated the bully. Everyone is super stoked about me, even if they don’t know it. I’m a hero! MORAL VICTORY!!!

    THE END

  • Steven Gepp

    Well my surrealism quotient just went up a notch…

  • Blair A. Douglas

    It’s a good thing we all went to help Zork with that stove. That thing was out of control. We made the right decision.

  • CB40

    “Sometimes there aren’t enough rocks.”-Forrest Gump

Recent Comments

Search Pulse

Author:

Zone:

Category:

So, with this Simple Jquery Modal Window, it can be in any shapes you want! Simple and Easy to modify : )