And he wrestled a match after it.

The following has been cobbled of of Twitter from Stratusfied! And I think we’re gonna be the first site with a Smackdown spoilers update. So eat it, legitimate sites.

InsidePulse has obtained an exclusive audio tape recorded by the driver of the cab in which Chris Jericho, Hurricane Helms and Matt Hardy were involved in an incident. Here is a transcript of that tape.

Hulk Hogan’s new book will have a chapter in it where he said he tried to commit suicide with xanax and rum, or as my friend Brian calls it, pregaming. Hogan was then saved by Muhammed Ali’s daughter. So, add suicidal to the list of terrible traits that define Hulk Hogan.

A victim of police brutality, Rodney King’s denied justice was the launching point of the 1992 LA Riots. There was property damage of over 1 billion dollars, 53 people died and thousands were injured in a national tragedy. But we get to put this tragedy to rest on Halloween night when Rodney King is the [...]

Great news! ECW fake General Manager Tiffani was… oh! It’s Tiffany. I would have thought the WWE would spell the name with an i. Anyway, she injured her arm wrestling in FCW, not in a car crash as reported on ECW television. This should kill those ugly stereotypes about women being bad drivers and great wrestlers.

Matt Hardy, who has been conspicuously absent from Smackdown these past few weeks after a major initial push, updated his Twitter with the following:

I am exhausted from being punished because of someone else’s sins. Good night one, good night all! Until then..

THE BOSS Bobby Lashley fights THE HOSS Jethro Holiday. They should stop letting Bobby Lashley come up with his own nicknames. Here are some suggestions:

The Black Lesnar.
The Higher Pitched Mike Tyson.
The Awful Wrestler.

The two biggest stars of the 80s fighting in small venues for whatever small slice of fame and money they can still raise? Get to writing the theme song Springsteen!

So, Big Show got into a backstage fight with the Great Khali. The Big Show slipped on a bag and Khali mounted him and started slapping him. The Undertaker stepped in to separate them but couldn’t. Then Joey Styles walked in and knocked all three out with one punch. Then he made JBL go get him a sandwich.

In the end, regardless of how much Tyler Reks loves licking a freshly used butthole, Rey Mysterio is innocent until proven guilty.

That’s DX. Old, super corny, spotlight hogs. Also, every time I look at Shawn Michaels’ eyes I’m shocked they let him in the ring. The guy is obviously seriously brain damaged.

Sometimes I feel really ashamed to be a wrestling fan. Then again, I think I felt more ashamed when I saw Matt Morgan main eventing a PPV.

Huge news this week from the world of wrestling. HA! Huge news from the world of wrestling. You know what would be huge news from the world of wrestling? If it was made illegal. Or if a wrestler figured out a cure for cancer. Other than that, it’s all junk news.

Jeremy Piven and comedian Dr. Ken ruined Raw on Monday. Dr. Ken kept jumping around and sucking on a pacifier, something he must have figured most pro wrestlers do. Piven called Summerslam “Summer Fest”, although he was quickly corrected by John Cena. He then thanked Joe Zima and promised this would be the last night The Mizzy would spend in the WWF.

What do I like about wrestling? Umm… I like John Morrison. I like Chris Jericho. I’m enjoying almost all of Smackdown. I think Pretty Ricky is the most racist thing I’ve ever seen.

After reading about the rumors of his pending firing from WWE in light of the recent brand switch of Alicia Fox, DJ Gabriel went on a bit of a typical WWE wrestler Internet rant. After denying that he would soon be fired, he offered the Internet wrestling sites unfettered access by saying…

I have a simple question that may not have such a simple answer. Why is there hardly any managers in pro wrestling anymore? Some of the managers of the past where legends because of what they added to the show like: Bobby Heenan, Jimmy Hart, Mr. Fuji, Slick, Captain Lou, Sherri Martel, Elizibeth, Fonzie, and [...]

Q: I am a big fan of Independent Wrestling. Do you think that Sandman will go back to the Indy feds now that he is no longer with WWE?–Red Nulleo, Pittsburgh, PA
A: I don’t f*cking know. What do I look like, Sandman’s mother? Seriously, do you think I’m Sandman’s mom? Is it the man [...]

The following is an excerpt from the Diary of Chris Benoit, soon to be published by Judith Regan.
Dear Diary,
Y’all know who dis be? Ha ha. Just kidding. I’m in a bit of a ‘gangsta’ mood today as I met the new black wrestlers Cryme Tyme. Their gimmick is going to be that they steal shit [...]

I have found (in the most unlikely of places) a photo of the debut of the new Age of the Fall stable at ROH’s PPV taping last night in Chicago. You can see the back of the NECRO BUTCHER, that’s one of the Briscoe Brothers hanging upside down and bleeding and I believe that’s Jimmy [...]

DVD opens with Daizee Haze cutting a really crappy promo on Sara Del Ray. I mean it’s just horrible, but she’s very pretty. She mentions something about peace and love or something.
Pelle Primeau vs. Kevin Steen opens the show. Steen’s my favorite in ROH right now and Pelle is a tiny nothing so this [...]

Q: Hey bill grut, In hip hop music there’s always a raging discussion of who is the top 5 greatest dead or alive, so I was wondering who would be your top 5 wrestlers of all time dead or alive??? Mine would be triple h, kurt angle, bret hart, rob van dam, and chris beniot. [...]

Inside Pulse (Editor’s Note: We had NOTHING to do with this) in conjunction with JunkNews Inc. is proud to bring to you an opportunity to own a piece of Hulka-Jewelry! Right off the hot sale of his grill on QVC as well as his home, Hulk Hogan (while not personally involved) offers to you pieces [...]

It was a hot, black night when I first met Portia Perez. She was wrestling at a community center in Long Island. Our eyes met. I said hi to her, she told me not to talk to her and had Larry Sweeney yell at me. Some guy next to me started chanting Jailbait at her. [...]

I’d like to issue a retraction to an Editorial I wrote earlier in which I stated that Pacman Jones coming to TNA would be awesome. I believed him to be a combination of my two favorite fictional characters, Pacman and Indiana Jones. I just pictured this guy in a hat with a whip running around [...]

81. HONKY TONK MAN
Real Name – Roy Wayne Farris
Aliases – Honky Tonk Wayne, A member of the Blond Bombers
Debuted – 1977
Titles Held – WWE Intercontinental; AWA Southern Tag
Team; NWA Southeast Heavyweight
Other Accomplishments – cousin of Jerry Lawler;
minister for the Universal Life Church
The following is from Wikipedia.
Farris won several regional tag team titles as [...]

If you’ve never traveled a total of 6 hours over the course of two days with Aaron Glazer and his army of bad ass Latinos in a full small car in which the radio plays more static than music to see indy wrestling, well, you haven’t lived. I have now lived, and I survived to [...]

85. DEAN MALENKO
Real Name – Dean Simon
Aliases – The Iceman; The Man of 1,000 Holds; The Shooter
Debuted – 1979
Titles Held – WCW United States; WCW World Tag Team; WWF Light Heavyweight; ECW Tag Team; ECW TV; WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team; ICWA Junior Heavyweight
Other Accomplishments – credited with invention of Crippler Crossface, Jackhammer and 3-D [...]

Q: Is Hulk Hogan going to make one more WWE comeback?–Kim Zelter, Toronto, Ontario.
A: Kim, first of all, I am so glad you asked that question. Come and have a seat on my couch while I ponder the answer. Would you like a glass of wine? Maybe champagne? That’s right girl, I got whatever you’re [...]

Before I begin I’d like to point out that I’m not a wise man or an educated man or a good man. When I’m called in to solve a suspected double homicide/suicide I look at the facts. I don’t try to form opinions, I don’t think about the evidence I see, I only pay attention [...]

Show started with Booker T vs. Lashley. Kennedy interfered. Now it’s a handicapped main event unless Lashley can find a partner. May I propose Santino? Yay!
Coach is talking with Regal. Everyone loves everyone but Coach wants Regal to fight Sandman. He gets all huffy about fighting a ruffian who drinks beer. Then he exposes [...]

95. KEVIN SULLIVAN
Aliases – Merlin the Wizard; Johnny West;
Kevin Caldwell; Masked Lucifer; The Taskmaster
Hometown – Boston, Massachusetts
Debuted – 1970
Titles Held – WCW Tag Team; ECW Tag Team; NWA United States Tag Team
Other Accomplishments – led the Dungeon of Doom in WCW in 1995; wife Nancy divorced him in 1997 and married on-screen rival Chris Benoit
The [...]

96. DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE
Real Name – Page Joe Falkinburg
Aliases – Handsome Dallas Page
Hometown – Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Debuted – 1988
Titles Held – WCW World; WCW United States;
WCW Tag Team; WCW Television; WWE World Tag Team;
WWE European
Other Accomplishments – WCW Lord of the Ring in 1995;
WCW BattleBowl in 1996; WCW MTV Tournament in 1999
Diamond Dallas Page [...]

In my last column I basically said that Chris Benoit should no longer be enjoyed by anyone. A man who killed a woman and child with his bare hands is not someone a healthy person should enjoy watching pretend to beat up others. I believe that, I do, and with all of the Chris Benoit [...]

I’m a bit of a hypocrite. I don’t believe in God, at least the version of God we’re all told to believe in, unless it suits my purpose at the time. When things are going particularly bad I wonder why God won’t help me. When something amazing happens I mumble to myself, “Thank God.” When [...]

The stage is empty except for a pool table which Matt, mid-30’s and built with dark hair, is using to play a game of pool by himself. Adam, mid-30’s with blonde hair, enters talking on his cell phone. Matt glances at him but tries to ignore him.
Adam: So what could I have done to improve [...]

“(Nashiville) is a place, a time, a consciousness, in which there is no love.”
- Richard Bach
Hi again! It’s me, the G to the R to the U to the T! What’s up? I’ve been doing okay, I guess. I mean, my sex life has dried up as I’ve taken to killing the hookers before [...]

Q: Do you think Chris Benoit is happy now that he has been traded to ECW or do you think it’s a step down for him?–Matt Wilson, Philadelphia, PA
A: Good question Matt. After watching ECW last night I seriously doubt that Chris Benoit is happier now than he was on Smackdown. This has nothing to [...]

Hi Irony. I know we don’t talk much anymore about wrestling, I was kind of put off by the death of Owen Hart by falling from a ceiling while portraying a goofball superhero, and while that was totally ironic and would have been hilarious if I didn’t give a shit, I gave a shit. You [...]