Divas Championship

Kaitlyn (c) vs. AJ Lee

Steven Gepp:  Probably has the potential to be the best women’s match on WWE in years, but it’ll go less than 2 minutes and be worthless.

Winner:  AJ

BD:  They’re still doing Diva matches? Jesus.

Winner:  No One Cares

KON:  More than a year in the making and it still isn’t likely to make the final card. It’d be the perfect time to out Kaitlyn’s secret admirer, but it’s not going to happen.

Winner and still Diva’s Champion:  Kaitlyn (because the match wont happen)

Rhett Davis:  If this gets on the card, it’ll just be to give the belt over to AJ.  Or maybe they’ll do it at the next PPV so Dolph Ziggler and her can both be winners… hmmm… I’ll say if this match does happen, which is highly doubtful, then Kaitlyn wins via rollup.  Enough to postpone this feud to next month.

Winner (and STILL Divas Champion):  Kaitlyn

Mike Gojira:  IF this match happens (and that’s a big “If” with time constraints), I don’t see it going for more than a minute or so.  That being the case, I see Kaitlyn retaining.

Winner:  Kaitlyn

People Power:  In a safe lead, AJ Lee wins the ‘People Power’s’ vote with 73% of the vote.

The Tally:  Kaitlyn – 3

AJ Lee – 2

No One Cares – 1

Extreme Rules Pre-Show Match

The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

Steven Gepp:  I think Cody is better than this. Miz is being pushed as a winning babyface. John Morrison is due back, probably as an arrogant heel. Heel Morrison + face Miz = Instafeud, but arse about tit.

Winner:  Miz (but expect JoMo to make at least a token appearance)

BD:  These two don’t belong on the pre-show! They belong on the ring crew.

Winner:  No One Cares

KON:  Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Winner:  Both Miz and Cody get to go back to the hotel and drown their sorrows before the actual PPV starts, so everyone wins.

Rhett Davis:  Oh jeez… this is absolutely pathetic.  They would’ve been better to have a 6 Man Tag Match with Miz with Tons of Funk vs. Antonio Cesaro and The Rhodes Scholars.  At least that way they had SOME sort of feud going with Tons of Funk and The Rhodes Scholars.  But instead we get the oh-so-thrown-together match-up of Miz and Rhodes.  Obviously Miz wins this as this is one of his first matches back.

Winner:  The Miztake

Mike Gojira:  Does anyone actually care about this match?  Neither guy is doing much of anything and the WWE insists on marketing The Miz as the second coming of kid-friendly John Cena through his media relations.  With that in mind, I think the victor is obvious…

Winner:  The Miz

Justin C:  I honestly don’t know why this match is happening. To get the Miz back on TV and get a win that really doesn’t mean much in the end? Okay. At this point, Cody Rhodes is the heel worker who can have a solid match with anyone on the roster and looks good in the process, but doesn’t pick up the win in the end. Knowing that, Miz picks up the win here and starts to get himself back into the Intercontinental Title scene.

Winner:  Miz

People Power:  With a definite lead, The Miz wins the ‘People Power’s’ vote with 83% of the vote.

The Tally:  The Miz – 5

No One Cares – 2

Cody Rhodes – 0

United States Championship

Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Dean Ambrose

Steven Gepp:  I think this will be essentially a squash match, Kofi will hit the trouble in paradise kick, Ambrose will ,manage to kick out, then Kofi will be killed.

Winner:  Dean Ambrose

BD:  Cool, I didn’t even know this was happening. I dig Ambrose a lot, and I’ve always had a soft spot for Kofi. No way he’s getting out of this with the belt or anything, but it should be fun regardless.

Winner (and new United States Champion):  Dean Ambrose

KON:  Kofi receives his life force from mid-card title reigns, so he can drop the belt and live well until his manna reserves are depleted in 12 months.

Winner, and new US Champion:  Dean Ambrose

Rhett Davis:  I’m glad they added this match, and honestly this is the most intriguing matchup on the card to me with maybe the tag match as the only exception.  Hmm, the matches involving The Shield.  Well I don’t see any point in Kofi retaining here so I’ll say that Dean Ambrose wins this with a distraction courtesy of the other members of The Shield.

Winner (and NEW United States Champion):  Dean Ambrose

Mike Gojira:  Besides the allegations that Creative has soured on Antonio Cesaro, the transference of the United States Championship to Cannon Fodder…I mean, Kofi Kingston makes sense, given that you can’t switch belts between two heels in a one-on-one situation.  Therefore…..

Winner and NEW Champion:  Dean Ambrose

Justin C:  When Kofi won the US Title a month ago, I wondered what the point was of having him do so. Now the answer appears to be clear. Kofi was to be the transition Champion. It appears that the WWE knows who the top star of The Shield is. They’ve decided to give Dean Ambrose a singles match on the card because they trust him and feel he is the best worker in the group. Ambrose wrestled a singles match with The Undertaker, and you have to believe he gave Ambrose his approval. Ambrose wins the US Title here.

Winner:  Dean Ambrose

People Power:  Firmly in the lead, Dean Ambrose wins the ‘People Power’s’ pick with 86% of the total vote.

The Tally:  Dean Ambrose – 7

Kofi Kingston – 0

WWE Tag Team Championship Tornado Tag Team Match

Team Hell No! (Kane and Daniel Bryan) (c) vs. The Shield (Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns)

Steven Gepp:  Completely expect this to be match of the night. This tag team thing has done Kane a world of good, as he has been having good matches and seems to be enjoying himself and not half-arsing his work, has kept Daniel Bryan in the limelight and has made at least one part of tag team wrestling interesting again. Then add the Shield which is possibly the most interesting thing in WWE at the moment. Yep, match of the night.

Winner:  The Shield

BD:  This will be a fun little outing, I imagine. I figure Shield takes the belts here, and Ambrose takes another one. Have Kane and Bryan go their separate ways (but don’t let how popular Bryan is despite being mid-card interfere with the juggernaut that is Shaemus) but don’t have them feud or anything. Just a split of the tag-team is all it needs to be. They can reunite every once in a while and have some fun.

Winners (and new Tag-Team Champions):  The Shield

KON:  The Shield gotta come out of this strong, right? It’s not like they’ve been jobbed out in a handicap match or anything.

Winners, and new Tag-Team Champions:  Roman and Seth

Rhett Davis:  This should be great as all of the other matches with the present company have been.  If WWE is smart, they will put this well before their two main events as this will easily outshine them.  Therefore, I can’t see Team Hell No! retaining here.  It just looks like The Shield will take all of the gold in one fell swoop.

Winners (and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions):  The Shield

Mike Gojira:  It’s finally time to put the belts on the hottest team in the company.  While I would have preferred a Freebirds-style team, I suppose it makes no sense logically to have a 2-on-3, given the way 3-on-3 matches have turned out when it comes to The Shield.  This could be match of the night as far as I’m concerned.

Winners and NEW Champions:  The Shield

Justin C:  Team Hell No should have been broken up along time ago. At this point, they are just treading water. Nothing new has been added to the team in the last few months. I thought they were done at the Royal Rumble, then I thought they would be done at Wrestlemania. But they keep going. But they aren’t the hot act anymore, it is The Shield. They are the new thing in the WWE and I’m assuming will be the focus of WWE TV in the coming months. They pick up the win here after Reigns takes out Kane with a Spear.

Winners:  Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns

People Power:  With yet another large lead, The Shield receives the ‘People Power’s’ pick with 91% of the total vote.

The Tally:  The Shield – 7

Team Hell No! – 0

The Dancer Meets The Rocker Part II
Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

Steven Gepp:  I hope this is a good match.

Winner:  Fandango

BD:  This match at WrestleMania wasn’t too bad, but it wasn’t all that good either. Johnny Curtis isn’t the most fun to watch, but he’s all right by me. Dude has a decent look, they gotta get him out of this dancing thing if they want anyone to take him seriously though, although it may be too late for that. Speaking of which, anyone who writes anything going beyond 2 weeks of dancing-related buildup for a match should be tried in the Hague.

Winner:  Fandango

KON:  I don’t really have an opinion on this. I’d like to see Fandango win, but i’d also like to see a lot of other stuff that clearly isn’t going to happen at extreme rules, or ever.

Winner:  Chris Jericho

Rhett Davis:  This is probably the hardest to call for me…  Jericho desperately needs the win or else he looks like a total chump.  However, I’m not sure this is the time to end the undefeated streak of Fandango.  Granted, who better to lose it to than Jericho right?  Therefore I’ll say Y2J wins here… that way these two collide so Fandango can get a little… ahem ‘Payback’ at the next PPV… Payback.  See what I did there?

Winner:  The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla

Mike Gojira:  Truth be told, Fandango bores me.  His theme song is more over than he is and this is not a gimmick that will strap a rocket to your back and send you to the main event.  Jericho COULD put Fandango over again like he did at ‘Mania, but the way their segment ended on Monday night leads me to believe that Curtis will be staring up at the lights.

Winner:  Chris Jericho

Justin C:  These two put on a good 10 minute match at Wrestlemania. I wish they would have gotten more time. I would like to think that would happen here, but there are more matches and one less hour of time to do so. So time may be a problem again. I really liked the opening segment between these two on RAW. It was a good way to gain some heat for Fandango. And Jericho’s serious promo at the end of RAW was solid too. We know Jericho is leaving again, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he has to lose here. I think Jericho finally gets a PPV win here with a roll up. After the match, Fandango takes out Jericho, giving an explanation for his next absence from WWE TV.

Winner:  Chris Jericho

People Power:  With a small margin, Chris Jericho receives the ‘People Power’s’ pick with 52% of the total vote.

The Tally:  Chris Jericho – 5

Fandango – 2

Strap Match
Mark Henry vs. Sheamus

Steven Gepp:  At least they’re in there with one another. Despite what Blair says, I have never been on the Sheamus bandwagon, and the smiling doofus is really getting more and more on my nerves. Also, despite what Blair says, I think the Henry monster thing could work. It won’t, but it could. But I think this match will be like that episode of Days Of Our Lives where Hope and Bo weren’t together, but pretended they were together and yet were having pretend-real arguments so they could mess with the minds of everyone around them and make Stefano (who had only died 4 times at this point) divorce Marlena (who was with John Black, but Roman was still around, causing issues), because what happened was they had a fight, which was supposed to be real (because they were faking liking one another, but really hating one another, remember), but everyone saw through it and thought it was ridiculous and overstaged, but it was real, and it forced them to actually like each other and hook up again. So what I’m saying is, after this match expect ‘Red Licorice’ to be a new tag team.

Winner:  Sheamus

BD:  First of all, let me just say that this match should be at the top, not anywhere near the bottom. This is the true main event right here. Two years ago these two were the great white hope for many of you, and now I see NO one excited for this. Come on people. That match 2 years ago you all thought was a thing of beauty and that these guys would do great things, so why aren’t you equally excited this time around? I said their 2011 PPV match was horrible AND that these guys were horrible, and that a push for either of them would never work, because they suck… and a bunch of you yelled at me. Now it’s 2 years later, and now neither of these guys caught on, just like I said would happen, and everyone is making excuses, also just like I said would happen. “Oh, Shaemus’ character has been watered down.” What? Shaemus is doing the EXACT same thing he was doing when you all were excited. NO one has said I was right.  So you can all imagine how excited I am for this. This is much more than a wrestling match. It’s about right vs. wrong. It’s about oppression vs. freedom. It’s about tyranny vs. democracy. Most importantly, it’s about me being right. I’m not even kidding. If I watch any part of the PPV, it’ll be this match.  Also, the ONLY way to improve upon the match from 2 years ago would have been to make it THIS kind of match. A STRAP match. Are they serious? ARE THEY FUCKING SERIOUS. These two have enough trouble working a regular match, so how did these poor guys get saddled with THIS gimmick? Has ANYONE enjoyed a strap match, ever? Sanders and Leonard told me on Classy Ring Attire that the buildup consisted of Henry’s doctor advising him against wrestling any actual matches wherever possible, so he’s been doing random feats of strength… that Shaemus will then interrupt. That’s the match. If the buildup for this match was HOW in the world they got THIS stipulation for the match, I’d have watched every second. Who did they piss off? When 2 guys are slow and easily winded, you want them to not be able to distance themselves? Jesus, why not just put them in a ladder match or Ultimate X or that TNA Birdcage thing?

Winner:  Shaemus, before he goes on to main-event by SummerSlam, or WrestleMania at the latest…

KON:  Fella’s done nothing but rain on Henry’s parade, so it’d be nice if the face came out on top. Wait, Fella’s the face? For real? What about all those cheap shots? What about cheating during the tug of war? What about- ah, fuck it.

Winner:  Fella

Rhett Davis:  Yeesh.  Sheamus has gone the wrong way about being entertaining.  He should’ve followed the CM Punk trail instead of the John Cena trail.  And this entire feud has solely been about how much of dick Sheamus can be.  He takes a ton of cheap shots on Henry, he takes every advantage he can.  Seriously what’s the point?  Anyways, Mark Henry wins because Strap Matches are used to give heels cheap wins.  Then again… if Sheamus won very cheaply, it’d give Henry a reason to whine until he got a rematch… ugh… so the Red Headed Step-Face-of-the-Company.

Winner:  That Red Headed Fella

Mike Gojira:  Anyone give a shit?  Honestly?  I’m going to make a bold prediction here.

Winner:  Mark Henry

Justin C:  I actually had some interest in this match, and then they added a terrible gimmick to it. A Strap Match is just about the worst match you can think of. It is very slow moving and doesn’t hold much interest. I’ve still been a fan of Mark Henry’s work for the last couple years. He’s effective in his role and doesn’t lose a lot of heat even if he loses. And I think he is a decent worker for his size. Sheamus, on the other hand, has gotten worse ever since winning the World Title at Wrestlemania 29. He’s gone from an ass kicker to a joke maker. WWE officials may still see him as a top star down the line, but he is in dangerous territory right now. If it gets any worse, he may get into John Cena like levels. He needs to go back to his roots. I’m picking Sheamus to win here and start building back up to a World Title program.

Winners:  Sheamus

People Power:  In yet another close contest, Sheamus picks up the ‘People Power’s’ pick with 52% of the total vote.

The Tally:  Sheamus – 6

Mark Henry – 1

Extreme Rules Match
The Big Show vs. Randy Orton

Steven Gepp:  I like Big Show. I am bored completely stupid by Randy Orton. He has been phoning everything in as of late, even as he runs roughshod over the midcard. I don’t care about this match unfortunately.

Winner:  Randy

BD:  If I spent my entire life searching, I don’t think I could find anyone to care about this match.

Winner:  Randy Orton

KON:  I predict lots of rest holds and other pointless bullshit from Orton. If they cut his entrance, maybe half of these other matches will stay on the card.

Winner:  Big Show

Rhett Davis:  Ugh… this and the previous match just are not interesting at all… I’ll say that Big Show wins just because.

Winner:  Big Show

Mike Gojira:  Ugh.  These two will probably just go through the motions. There’s no drive or desire on either guy’s part.

Winner:  Randy Orton

Justin C:  This is an Extreme Rules match, but I just don’t care. Randy Orton’s character is very stale and in desperate need of a heel turn. And I really haven’t cared about Big Show for the last few years. I’ll go with Big Show after a KO Punch into a chair, knocking out Orton.

Winner:  Big Show

People Power:  In a large lead, Randy Orton receives the ‘People Power’s’ pick with 71% of the total vote.

The Tally:  Randy Orton – 4

Big Show – 3

#1 Contender’s I Quit Match for World Heavyweight Championship
Alberto del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

Steven Gepp:  Now I had high hopes for the last match between these two and was underwhelmed. I still think they have the ability to hit one out of the park, but with the presence of Zeb and Ricardo I think story will overwhelm action. I also expect Big E to make his presence felt, and maybe even Ziggler, leading to the 3-way next month anyway.

Winner:  Double DQ

BD:  So, this is taking place because Ziggler is injured? People seem to have given up on Del Rio, which makes me sad because I really like the dude. And Swagger is terrible, the one thing he’s been successful at over the years is proving how worthless he is. Del Rio could pull a good match out of him though, if the dude can work with Shaemus he can work with anyone. And this is actually better than having Ziggler, because it will hopefully lead to Del Rio and Ziggler one-on-one somewhere down the line, which is much better than having Jack Swagger there to gum up the works.

Winner:  Alberto Del Rio

KON:  After this, Swagger will team with Iron Sheik. Vince loves himself an odd couple.

Winner:  Alberto Del Rio

Rhett Davis:  I’m pretty exhausted with both of these two characters.  Not their in-ring matches, just their personas.  So this is pretty dull.  I’ll say that Alberto del Rio will win so we can have the one on one rematch at Payback.  So Alberto can get his… okay too much.

Winner:  Albert of the River

Mike Gojira:  What was once a promising title match is now a throw-away “I Quit” match, which all but makes the outcome rather obvious: Dolph Ziggler is a heel; therefore del Rio will become number one contender.  Faces don’t say “I Quit” unless you’re tricked into it like Mick Foley.

Winner:  Alberto del Rio

Justin C:  There is potential for this match to be good, the problem is that no one really cares about the wrestlers involved. Swagger has fallen flat the last couple of months. His character hasn’t gotten over like the WWE would have liked. Part of it is probably because they don’t want to push him too hard after his DUI arrest. Alberto del Rio, meanwhile, hasn’t gotten over the way that the WWE has liked. Hell, I think if it wasn’t for Ricardo, he would have absolutely no heat whatsoever. Similar to Sheamus, if the WWE wants him to be their top Mexican star, they need to act quick. With Dolph Ziggler being World Champion, you would’ve assumed Alberto del Rio would win. When it was made an “I Quit” Match, it guaranteed Del Rio would win. Faces don’t lose these matches. Barring a double turn that Matt Harrak suggested, which could work, Del Rio wins.
Winner:  Alberto del Rio

People Power:  With a larger lead, Alberto del Rio wins the ‘People Power’s’ pick with 79% of the total vote.

The Tally:  Alberto del Rio – 6

Double DQ – 1

Steel Cage Rubber Match
Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar

Steven Gepp:  Because the first two were such classics that we needed a third one. This will be the end of it, right? Right? No. See, I remember the classic series between HHH and Scott Steiner, and this one feels like HHH is telling himself that what was lacking in those amazing bouts was more of them! [/sarcasm mode… normally I wouldn’t do that, but some in the comments section seem to not have a sarcasm detector]. Anyway, I think the result will lead to another match.

Winner:  No contest due to outside interference (CM Punk, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, the entire defensive line from the Dallas Cowboys and North Korea’s standing army will probably all somehow get involved)

BD:  The first match they did had some good buildup, but the match was terrible. The second match they did had some terrible buildup, and the match was even worse. The third match seems to be an odd de-escalation from a blood feud with careers on the line and wife insults, to messing up someone’s office even though there’s no way that Triple H doesn’t have people to fix that for him. I’m not a guy who often thinks that losses will really hurt a guy if he’s worth anything to begin with, but with the year Brock has had… yikes. I like Brock and all, but wow. And if the last 9 months should prove anything to Triple H, it’s that no one really cares at this point whether he wrestles or not. No idea why they’re doing this again – the ONLY correct thing is for Triple H to lose, so I’m going with that, but I wouldn’t be surprised (although I would be amused) to see it go the other way.

Winner:  Brock Lesnar

KON:  PISS!

Fucking going over: HHH, because Brock is only there to make Vince think his circus is on the same level as UFC.

Winner:  HHH

Rhett Davis:  I’m just so tired of this feud and it helping with absolutely nothing!  It’s time for Brock to fight some people that actually wrestle from week to week.  Help elevate some talent why don’t you!  Same goes for Triple H.  Brock will win this to maintain his ferocity.

Winner:  The Next Big Thing

Mike Gojira:  Thank Cthulhu this is it for these two.  It’s time for Triple H to put Brock over so “The Beast Incarnate” can get his heat back for his next feud.  Having the match in a Steel Cage allows Lesnar to win without resorting to Pinfall or Submission.

Winner:  Brock Lesnar

Justin C:  Why are these two fighting again? Because Brock Lesnar ruined HHH’s office? Because their series is tied 1-1? Honestly, the first two matches have been below average, and I don’t expect this one to be any better. If the WWE is smart, they will have Brock Lesnar go over here. If Lesnar loses, who the hell does he move onto that would matter? Hunter winning makes no sense. My guess is that Brock Lesnar wins here after pinning HHH. After the match, HHH gets beatdown by The Shield, and we end up getting HHH/Undertaker/??? vs The Shield at SummerSlam. Meanwhile, Lesnar moves on to CM Punk after Heyman has Lesnar take out Punk at Payback for leaving Heyman high and dry. And the best thing of all? We hopefully never see HHH and Brock Lesnar in the ring together ever again.

Winner:  Brock Lesnar

People Power:  With a big lead, Brock Lesnar wins the ‘People Power’s’ pick with 67% of the total vote.

The Tally:  Brock Lesnar – 5

Triple H – 1

Draw – 1

WWE Championship Last Man Standing Match
John Cena (c) vs. Ryback

Steven Gepp:  After watching Hulk Cena on Raw defeat the Shield single-handedly, it’s like 1996 WCW all over again. Look, he tends to bring the goods in PPV matches, but his character is boring me and it is annoying me and the way his character acts is actually driving me further away from the product. People say Ryback is Goldberg v2.0. Sorry, I disagree. Watch Goldberg’s Halloween Havoc match against DDP in 1997 and tell me Ryback could ever be that agile and perform that well. Ryback is a Goldberg-wanna-be. The match could well end up being a good one, but I am going to have to overcome a lot of personal prejudice to probably enjoy it. And to all those out there who say “Why don’t you have people who like wrestling on this site”, I don’t care what you think. I like wrestling and have done so for more than three decades. I don’t have to like everything. If I did I’d be a fan-boy and who wants to read gushing commentary about a product that is lame? Sorry. [/rant]

Winner:  (as if there’s any doubt) John Hogan

BD:  This show is confused. It was confused enough already. Ryback has lost most of this year, and now he gets a title shot, then turns evil even though most people already hate Cena. I am fairly certain this will suck, aside of course from the element where the crowd will be screaming out for Cena’s blood and will love everything Ryback does, even though Ryback sucks and he’s supposed to be the heel. Last Man Standing matches tend to favor Cena, and the only way he’s losing is by shenannigans, and who cares then anyway. I don’t care for either guy and I don’t care who wins, but I don’t see Cena having beaten Rock for the belt just to lose it to this inbred doorknob.

Winner (and still WWE Champion):  John Cena

KON:  Cena doesn’t really have anyone else to quarrel with after this, so I imagine his dodgy heel will play some sort of role in the match.

Winner and new WWE Champion:  The Ryback (to extend the feud)

Rhett Davis:  I’m not sure if Ryback is ready for a title run.  Plus it would be kind of ridiculous for John Cena to lose his belt only a month after spending a year gaining redemption.  John Cena wins it after totally burying Ryback and no selling his Shell Shocked.

Winner (and STILL WWE Champion):  John Friggin’ Cena

Mike Gojira:  Last Man Standing match?  More like “Last Person to Stay Awake” match.  The build has been HORRIBLE, the heel turn was unnecessary, and a once-promising feud was ruined by Ryback’s repeated jobbing over the past few months.  Since we’re slated to continue this one after Extreme Rules, I’m gonna call for a controversial ending; say, double KO.

Winner:  Nobody, but John Cena remains WWE Champion (and that means if Cena retains, it still counts as a winning pick for me, Rhett!)

Justin C:  The WWE got this one right. I never want to see a one-on-one regular singles match between John Cena and Ryback. That match would be absolutely dreadful. Ryback can’t work in the ring and Cena is only as good as his opponent. The Last Man Standing gimmick allows these guys to move around the ring and use various weapons as distractions. It also gives them time to catch their breath during the long ten counts. So it was a smart move by the WWE. We are supposed to believe that John Cena’s bad heel injury is going to limit his chances here. But we all know that isn’t happening. Super Cena doesn’t go down without a fight. The only way he is losing here is if Ryback does what Big Show did in Cena’s LMS Match with Edge and throw him through an 8,000 WATT SURGE LIGHT!!!! Plus, I don’t think the WWE trusts Ryback enough to put the most important title in the company on him. John Cena retains after putting Ryback through the announce table with the AA. If he wins via duct tape, get ready for my Twitter rant.

Winner:  John Cena

People Power:  Also with a large majority, John Cena wins the ‘People Power’s’ vote with 79% of the total vote.

The Tally:  John Cena – 6

Ryback – 1

Well this concludes the Extreme Rules 2013 Rasslin’ Roundtable.  Be sure to check out Inside Pulse’s Live Coverage of Extreme Rules tomorrow!  Thanks for reading.
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Since that time we’ve had a concussion end a potential “Match of the Night” contender, another title match come out of left field, and the addition of a pre-show filler bout. With no further ado, let’s dive into my updated thoughts on the card for this Sunday’s PPV.

“I Quit” Match for Number One Contender to the World Heavyweight Championship
Alberto del Rio vs Jack Swagger
We technically saw this already, but in the form of a submission contest. There’s no way Swagger is going over del Rio, especially if Dolph Ziggler remains a heel champion. Word on the street is that the winner will get his title shot on free TV so as not to detour future storylines involving Ziggler. Hopefully that title match winds up on Smackdown to make the show more tolerable for moi.

Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena vs Ryback
Apparently this feud will continue well past the PPV, so look for Cena to retain in some controversial fashion, a la a double knock out. In this way Ryback can continue to bitch about deserving another shot and Cena’s year-long title chase won’t end with a whimper (though if I had MY way, it most certainly would).

Strap Match
Sheamus vs Mark Henry
Last week I called for a Texas Bullrope match, so I was a bit off. Not that this contest will be any more exciting, mind you. I think Henry gets the win here so he and Sheamus can occupy each other’s time a bit longer.

United States Championship
Kofi Kingston vs Dean Ambrose
Apparently this is partially the reason why Antonio Cesaro dropped the strap; it’s infinitely easier for a face to lose a title to a heel. This was totally unexpected, but I guess it makes sense since The Shield technically shouldn’t have a 3-on-2 advantage in a tag team match. As an aside, Ambrose delivered a sick version of his finisher to Kofi last week, which I’m extremely thankful for because attempting it on Kane and Daniel Bryan made it look ridiculous.

The Miz vs Cody Rhodes
Why is this happening? No one cares. Shouldn’t Miz get his rematch against Wade Barrett?

As far as the rest of the card is concerned, my predictions remain the same. Be sure to check out my picks on Sunday’s Roundtable. Hopefully I take the lead this time!

So long, and thanks for all the fish.
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Youtube Pre-Show

The Miz vs Cody Rhodes
So Miz returns this past week after shooting a tv movie and alludes that he’s going after Wade Barrett and the IC title. So they book the obvious match with a random wrestler and keep the IC champ off the show completely.

Fandango vs Chris Jericho
Not exactly sure what these two are fighting over these days or if their characters are just going off hatred now. I’m just hoping for a more polished match so I can make up my mind about how I feel about Fandango overall.

Randy Orton vs Big Show (Extreme Rules Match)
I completely nothing this match, there’s no eloquent way to put it. I say scrap this and let AJ and Kaitlyn go at it. That’s right, I’d rather see a Divas match than this.

Sheamus vs Mark Henry (Strap Match)
Again, not sure why these two are fighting. Maybe they’re both mad that they got left out to dry when their feuds ran off to do other stuff. Strap matches have always seemed a little dopey to me combined with two of the dopiest wrestlers on the roster.

Team Friendship vs Reigns & Rollins (Tornado Tag Match for Tag Team Championship)
I’m incredibly excited for this match because tornado tag is something that really needs to happen more often because the concept of the hot tag is so overplayed and tired. Secondly, this match is full of amazing wrestlers, the weakest of the bunch being Roman but even he is growing on me. As much as I love Team Friendship as champions, maybe it’s time for Shield to have it as they are the hotter commodity (if not the hottest).

Kofi Kingston vs Dean Ambrose (US Championship Match)
Another one to be excited for seeing as how we all love Ambrose and Kofi has had another place-holder run as champ. Sure, the US belt doesn’t really mean much these days but the idea of having Shield adding golden belts to their tactical gear is pretty enticing.

Alberto Del Rio vs Jack Swagger (I Quit Match)
I understand that Ziggler is in no shape to perform after the concussion but replacing a Ladder Match with an I Quit Match is like taking Rosario Dawson out of a sex scene and replacing her with Maggie “Sea Donkey” Gyllenhaal, you’ll watch it but you’ll do so with a scowl on your face. I understand they had to throw something together because of the Ziggler injury and I prefer this over just taking the title off Ziggler but this booking is just weak sauce.

Triple H vs Brock Lesnar (Cage Match)
This feud just won’t die, it’s the Rasputin feud. It expired, it needs to die but WWE is still convinced everyone cares about this. And it’s not even about the wrestlers themselves, I’m just beyond ready to see them fight somebody else. Anybody else. We’ve all seen WWE try to shove feuds down our throats and convince us that we like it but this is excessive, even for them.

John Cena vs Ryback (Last Man Standing Match for WWE Championship)
I had decent hopes for this feud but now I’m already tired of it. Ryback is still talking like a meat-headed 5th grader and Cena is still trying to sell like the underdog. Unless they do something to wow me on Sunday, I don’t have high hopes for this feud anymore.

Including the pre-show, WWE has booked 9 matches for a 3 1/2 hour PPV. Remember that time that WWE booked 10 matches for a 4 1/2-hour Wrestlemania 29 and had to scramble that last half and scrapped 1 match?

Maybe I’m just burnt out on seeing them have to build for 5 weeks after Wrestlemania (which they built for even longer). I spent the last two weeks combing through Raws and PPVs from the previous year because I just don’t have anything interesting to add to a bunch of feuds that came out of nowhere and don’t have much of a future ahead of them. Now that he’s taking a break, I can see just how much WWE has been relying on Punk as a crutch to provide actual meat to their content. I don’t have high hopes for this PPV so maybe that means it’ll actually be decent. Maybe if Shield wins some gold, they can add some more interesting segments on Raw. Possibly after Ziggler recovers and beats whoever the #1 contender is, WWE will finally take the leash off of him and put him up against somebody he can actually bounce off of (both figuratively and literally). WWE just needs to put in more effort to get us through both the Pocket of Suck and a Punk-less summer. Easier said than done.

Be sure to check out the Classy Ring Attire podcast coming later in the week and follow us on twitter (@CRAttire).

Our kickstarter for MOON BEAR finished up over the weekend and we raised over $4,000 which greatly exceeded our goal of $3500. I just wanted to express my appreciation that helped by becoming backers or simply shared our link to your friends. It’s such an exciting experience and I can’t wait until everybody can see the finished product.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: Ziggles could sell the birth certificate conspiracy to Obama and then sell Michelle a plate of bacon-covered cookies
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Thanks for sending in your picks!  Now be sure to check out the Rasslin’ Roundtable to see how the majority picked and how the staff here at Inside Pulse Wrestling picked!
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What A Rip Off!

RAW started with Jerry Lawler in the ring introducing Fandango and Chris Jericho for the Dance-Off. Fandango said he didn’t lose the dance contest to the Great Khali. The crowd didn’t respect his abilities. Jericho brought up him winning the musical chairs competition and winning the Price is RAW with Bob Barker. Fandango went first, but didn’t dance. He said he needed silence and told the crowd to “SHHH.” They finally started, but Summer Rae tripped and hurt her ankle. Jericho and her dancer checked on her as Fandango left in disgust. Fandango came back in and attacked Jericho. Fandango threw Jericho into the announce table, then the steps and barricade. He then grabbed a piece of the dance floor and hit Jericho with it. Fandango then jumped back into the ring and Summer Rare hoped up, showing she was faking the whole time.

Segment Analysis: As much as I really didn’t want to see it, the hype for the Dance-Off only to see that was kind of weak. But it was a great job of Fandango “out-smarting” Jericho and gaining the upper hand going into Extreme Rules. Good job of making Fandango look strong. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Ryback made quick work of Zack Ryder.

The Prime Time Players defeated Tons of Funk after Darren Young used his hair pick to hit Brodus. Another short match.

No Tag Match???

Matt Striker said Dolph Ziggler isn’t medically cleared to compete at Extreme Rules. Teddy Long said he has made a decision. Zeb Colter came out and said Dolph should be stripped of the Title and have it given to Jack Swagger. Big E and A.J. came out. A.J. said Swagger should be fired for what he did to her boyfriend. Teddy said that at Extreme Rules, Jack Swagger and Alberto del Rio will go one-on-one in a #1 Contenders “I Quit” Match. And tonight, Big E will face either Alberto del Rio or Jack Swagger. Whoever wins the WWE App vote.

Segment Analysis: Glad to see the WWE doing the right thing keeping Dolph off the PPV. An “I Quit” Match should be fun between these two. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Kofi Kingston vs Damien Sandow. Sandow hit some knees to the gut then a side Russian leg sweep. The Elbow of Disdain got Sandow a two count. Sandow charged at Kofi in the corner but Kofi moved. Kofi started his comeback with a dropkick then a clothesline. He hit the Boom Drop. He missed the Trouble in Paradise, and then a splash off the top. Sandow hit a rolling neckbreaker for two. He got back up and Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise for the win. Another short match.

Kofi Kingston will defend the US Title against Dean Ambrose at Extreme Rules. Looking forward to that match.

SOMEONE BUTTER SHEAMUS BREAD!

Mark Henry was in the ring with Josh Matthews. They showed Henry pulling the trucks last week. Henry then made Matthews put a strap on. Henry shoved Matthews down and touched all four corners. Henry said he was feeling generous and invited Sheamus out. Henry said ‘Sheamus knows when his bread is buttered.” Then Sheamus came out. So apparently Sheamus needed his bread buttered. Sheamus said Henry isn’t smart. Henry said Sheamus needs to do less talking and more walking. The two exchanged words before Sheamus walked to the ring. Before Sheamus came into the ring, he went under the ring and got a strap of his own. Both men started whipping each other with straps, then Henry bailed.

Segment Analysis: Surprised that segment got the 9 p.m. time slot. But this feud just doesn’t really do anything for me. Sheamus has gotten dull as a character. I like pushing Henry as a monster, but there is a limit on to where you can go with him. Survey Says: 2/5

Orton 10, Mid Card 0

Antonio Cesaro vs Randy Orton. Cesaro started with a headlock then shoulder tackle. But Orton came back with an elbow to the face. Cesaro backed Orton into the corner and caught Orton with a headbutt as the ref breaking it up. Cesaro hit a charging upper cut in the corner for two. Orton fought out of a headlock and hit a suplex. He then went into ORTON MODE!!! Cesaro escaped the middle rope DDT and went for a roll up that got a two. Orton got up and immediately hit the RKO for the win.

Match Analysis: Randy Orton continues to go over mid card talent. At this point they should just call him “The Mid-Card Killer.” Survey Says: 1.5/5

Miz defeated Heath Slater. I probably could have went into detail about the match, but it was your typical Miz match that saw him win with the Figure Four. Did Miz really have to return?

Just Like That???

Six man elimination tag match. Kane took it to Ambrose in the corner and connected on an upper cut. Bryan hit some kicks in the corner then applied an armbar. Ambrose got out and tagged Rollins. Bryan tagged Cena who hit a running bulldog. Back from break Ambrose backed Bryan into the corner and The Shield started working over Bryan. All three members of The Shield worked over Bryan. Bryan eventually fought out of an Ambrose headlock and tagged in Kane. He hit a DDT for two. Kane hit his top rope clothesline and then shoved Ambrose and Rollins over the top rope. He beat down all the members of The Shield on the outside. The ref DQ’d Kane, eliminating him.

Back from break Ambrose hit a DDT on Cena. Cena blocked a Reigns suplex attempt but Reigns quickly tagged in Rollins, who hit a knee off the top for two. Rollins applied a sleeper hold, but Cena eventually made the hot tag to Bryan. Bryan hit a dive to the outside, taking out Reigns. He hit a missile drop kick off the top on Rollins, only getting a two count. Bryan hit a bunch of kicks but couldn’t apply the No Lock. Ambrose made the blind tag but Bryan took him out. Rollins hit a kick to the back of the head, and Ambrose hit his finisher on Bryan, eliminating him.

The Shield immediately went to work on Cena. But Cena came back and went into CENA MODE on Seth Rollins. He cleared out Ambrose and Reigns and hit the AA on Rollins, pinning him. Cena went to AA Ambrose. The ref stopped Reigns from Spearing Cena. Reigns shoved the ref and speared Cena, and was DQ’d. Ambrose went to pin Cena but he kicked out at two. Cena then applied the STF on Ambrose, but Reigns and Rollins broke it up. They hit the Triple Power Bomb on Cena.

After the match, Ryback came down and stood over Cena. He left the ring, but came back with a chair and used it on Cena’s bad Achilles.

Segment Analysis: First the match. So I guess now they will go with the fact that The Shield has never been pinned as a team. Because technically Cena won by DQ, WHICH IS A DUMB STUPID F****** WAY TO END THE UNDEFEATED STREAK AS A TEAM. Heaven forbid Cena gets pinned again. But then after Ryback’s attack, HOW WILL CENA OVERCOME THE ODDS SUNDAY? Sorry, just venting a little here. The match was good with typical strong offense from The Shield. But once it was 3-on-1 everything went down hill. Survey Says: 3.5/5

Heel vs Heel ALWAYS Works

Jack Swagger won the APP Poll and took on Big E. Big E had the upper hand early. Swagger moved out of the way of a Big E charge and hit a pump handle slam. Back from break Big E had control. He speared Swagger in the corner. Big E missed a second corner Spear attempt. Swagger hit a splash in the corner then hit a Swagger Bomb for two. Big E threw Swagger into the corner and hit a superplex for two. Swagger escaped Big E’s finisher and took out Big E with a chop block. He applied the Patriot Lock but Big E got to the ropes. Big E dumped a charging Swagger to the outside. Big E threw Swagger into the barricade, but Swagger ducked a charging Big E and he went over the barricade. Swagger got back into the ring and won via countout.

Alberto del Rio came out after the match and tried attacking Swagger, but Swagger applied the Patriot Lock. Ricardo hit Swagger with the bucket, but Swagger just kicked Ricardo. ADR applied the Cross Armbreaker but Big E broke it up and went after Swagger. Swagger kicked him then Del Rio hit an enziguri. ADR then applied the cross armbreaker on Swagger and dumped him to the outside.

Match Analysis: While I think the “I Quit” Match will be good, there just isn’t a lot of heat to a feud between these two guys. People want to see Ziggler, who is the most over out of the three. The Swagger/Big E match just dragged and the crowd wasn’t too into it. Survey Says: 2/5

A.J. defeated Natlaya with a pretty nice submission hold. Kaitlyn got another gift from her admirer, some trivia game.

Chris Jericho gave a serious promo saying he was done joking around and playing by other people’s rules.

We’re Not Rising Above Hate Here

Triple H was in the ring with the cage surrounding him. HHH said him and Brock have been feuding for over a year (ugh) and that it comes to an end this Sunday. Early in his career, someone told HHH that he has to learn how to hate. And having that ring surrounded by steel somehow made him feel at home. He said everyone is here, and that Brock should come out and try to take his home. Heyman and Lesnar came out. Triple H told Heyman to shut it and have Brock get in the ring. Heyman asked if the word hate was on the taboo list in the WWE. Heyman said this Sunday, Lesnar will teach HHH about the word hate. He said Lesnar is a carnivore and HHH is the biggest piece of meat in the WWE Universe. Heyman said HHH will hate facing his family after this Sunday. Heyman said HHH will go down as a loser, and he will hate that. Heyman said Lesnar doesn’t fight for free and they left.

Triple H said cut the music. HHH said Heyman doesn’t let Brock fight because he can’t afford it as a business man. HHH said when Brock loses this Sunday, his mystique and Paul’s meal ticket will be out the window. HHH said he knows Brock still believes and knows he is an ass kicker, but Heyman doesn’t see it. HHH asked Brock to come to the ring, or prove that he is a bitch. Lesnar walked to the ring as Heyman and refs tried to stop him, but he went into the ring. Both men started brawling. HHH threw Lesnar into the door and it knocked Heyman off the steps. Lesnar stared at HHH from the outside, then grabbed Heyman and left.

Segment Analysis: It was a decent job at trying to sell this match, but I just can’t have any hope for a third match between these two after the first two were so disappointing. The cage match might actually hurt them even more because they can’t move around on the outside to kill time. We may have seen the beginning of a possible rift between Heyman and Lesnar down the line, but that may have just been HHH using it for this match. Alright ending. Survey Says: 2.5/5

OVERALL

Not a great final sell job for Extreme Rules. The WWE Title Match especially. It almost felt like an afterthought compared to the HHH/Brock Lesnar match, which got a tone of recap time. I mean, I don’t want to see that match either, but give it more build than what it was given. Del Rio/Swagger could be good, but there is just no heat behind any of their characters. That was evident tonight. The Shield get their first loss, which if you couldn’t tell earlier didn’t make me happy. The opening dance off stuff was a waste, but a decent way to get some cheap heat on Fandango. In the end, a ho hum RAW that did a bad job selling Extreme Rules. I’m giving it a 3.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
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Okay, let’s be honest here: I am a fan of Scott’s work. I think his reviews – while occasionally over-cynical and also at times border on the callous – are extremely entertaining. It sort of strikes my own personal sense of humour when watching wrestling, and I agree with about 80% of what he writes (though he likes Undertaker more than I ever could).

A few personal things in here surprised me. I didn’t realise he had reviewed Heroes of Wrestling which I dedicated a recent column to, and in my current work-in-progress I reviewed WCW Uncensored 1996 and I think I was harsher on it than Scott.

Okay, to the book. There were only three shows in this that I had not seen – Girls Gone Wild, XPW Baptized In Blood, and NWA Bunkhouse Stampede 1988. This means that I can actually read what he has written and decide if what he says is true.

And it is.

The writing is full of the Scott Keith wit, and the matches are spelled out in his trademark detail. It is a quick read, and it is a fun read, though for younger readers, some of the pop culture references will go over heads; hell, I’m a few years older than him and I miss a few of them.

Some of the rants, though, do stand out.

The Wrestlemania XV one is great for those of us watching at the time. Now, I was actually in an anti-WWF phase from WM13 to WM2000, so I saw very little except on tape delay (up to 3 months in some cases), but the way Scott describes the whole Vince Russo directed clusterf**k that was that PPV is amazing. And, the scary thing is, it’s true. And the scarier thing is, after this he continues to be employed by wrestling organisations.

The Uncensored 1995 rant made me go back and rewatch it. Stupid! It was as bad as Keith said it was, and even then I think he may have over-rated some of the matches. Though not as horrid as Uncensored 1996 (my personal worst ever PPV of all time), it was still pretty damn atrocious.

And finally the Great American Bash 1991 (the Flair protest show) is probably one of his best show rants. He just rips everything apart. What is odd is that this was the first NWA/WCW video tape I ever saw, and yet I still continued to watch, even after this. (Mind you, wait for my WCW series coming up and you’ll see an even bigger act of stupidity on my behalf concerning the first WCW PPV shown in Australia and me buying it…) The descriptions here put you in that audience that was hostile and angry and completely unco-operative, and it would make you wish you had been there if only the wrestling had not been so goddamned awful.

Now, in the interests of me being actually fair and balanced… I think the book would have worked better in chronological order. At the moment the PPVs are all over the place. While I understand that by doing that you avoid having all the WCW ones together, and the WWE ones, etc, but it would give some sort of historical perspective. Also I think it lacks a 2013 Scott Says type of additional commentary throughout, maybe to explain some of the in-jokes or allusions to wrestling history that have been lost in the mists of time, or to explain what went on to happen. And finally, a quick edit to clean up some old errors in grammar, formatting, etc, would not have gone astray.

These, however, are minor quibbles. And, really, for 99 cents US you can’t really go wrong with an entertaining and fun little read.

Really recommended.

(Now, before you go… Have you filled in last week’s poll? How about looking at my own blog? Please?)
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Now, after assembling several enthralling PPVS amidst the reign of the “Wrestling’s Nightmare”, Kevin Steen, ROH tries to deliver again but in Canada and without Kevin Steen. Will they keep their miniature hot streak going?

Border Wars 2013:

Pre-PPV Thoughts:  I must admit that I am a little skeptical about this show. It unfortunately looks it could be shaping up to be their weakest PPV for ROH this year.  Nevertheless, the card does have some good-looking matches on it that I am looking forward to. Besides, it’s about three times less Extreme Rules and must I say looks way better.

Lately, ROH has been utilizing their TV show resourcefully. They have actually used it  to build upcoming PPV matches instead of just trying to have a lot of good matches . Frankly, the build up toward a PPV is more important than the PPV itself. Once you have the fans cash, it does not matter if the show does not deliver, unless the problem continues. Then there would become a problem in the long wrong, because it  would become equivalent false advertising. After all, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

But yeah, it is better to have their money and then put on a bad show than vice-versa. That is why movies are investing more revenue into their previews: because they matter just  as much as the movie does itself. And it makes the matches better as well, because it gives the match a purpose as well as importance. In fact, the match’s build can be done so well that people are completely engaged into it in spite of it sucking. A perfect example of this would be Hulk Hogan against André the Giant at Wrestlemania three.

Border Wars 2013, however, is lacking build, as too many matches on the PPV feel as if they were last minutely thrown-together. The main event even looks completely underwhelming, merely because both wrestlers have not been solidified as main event talent.  There are matches, though, that have a good amount of build and others that look like flat-out great matches. Therefore, it looks like it has all the potential to be a good show. I just do not foresee it surpassing their recent passed PPVS, though.

Opening Match: Caprice Coleman and Cedric Alexander def. ACH and Tadarius Thomas: ACH threw Alexander into the ropes and hurled him rearward into an ace-cutter for a close near fall. Coleman nailed a hurricanrana off the top on ACH and then Alexander hit a frogsplash for the win @ 10:56.

The synopsis: Color me surprised. This was the perfect way to open. The match was able to get the crowd into the show right off the bat, but it did not overwhelm them too much to the point where they would be exhausted for the next match. And the opening match never wants to raise the bar too high where it becomes difficult to exceed. But yeah, they did a sufficient amount of stuff in a precise amount time, and set the tempo for the PPV. It was exactly what an opening match’s objective should be. *** ¼

Kevin Kelly and Nigel McGuinness notified us that Mondo suffered an injury and thus would wrestle tonight. That means the Triple Threat match would be just a singles match. Out oh. Heel vs. Heel match. I actually feel bad for these two for having to do this match. They could not have added anyone else?

Roderick Strong def. Mike Bennett w/ Maria: They kept going back and forth until Strong executed a big back breaker for a near-fall. The future of WWE took control after countering the man of the 1000 backbreakers. Roderick ultimately got Bennett in the Stronghold. Maria to jumped on the apron in order to get the ref’s attention since Bennett was tapping out. Strong chanced Maria, but Bennett nailed the “box office smash” for a close nearfall. Cheeseburger and Paradise came out to make out with Maria, pissing off every wrestling fan in the world. Strong hit the sidekick on Bennett while he was distracted to pick up the win @ 9:58.

The synopsis: Talk about making lemonade with lemons. Holy shit, they were backed into a horrendous corner, but they totally made the most out of it. Maria’s involvement certainly made the match more enjoyable. She has solid timing for a manager, “I’m hotter than anyone you ever got” attitude, and good facial expressions—showing why  her being squandered in WWE might have been a mistake.

The match walked that thin line. They did not want to turn either wrestler face, but they also wanted to put on a good match. I think the involvement with Maria and Cheeseburger really helped them walk that line.  And sometimes it is fine to have some goofy fun and a sports entertainment finish on a show that takes itself seriously. The match had solid action and near-falls as well. ** ¾

Rhett Titus def. BJ Whitmer: Corino ran out (even though he was banned from the match) and stood in the ring. BJ saw him and held the chair up as if he was going to hit Corino with it. Corino turned around and got on his knees. He put his hands out as if he was sacrificing himself. BJ thought about it for ages, but before did it, Rhett quit to stop Whitmer from hitting Corino @ 11:23!?!?!?!?!??!!?!? After the match, both Jimmy Jacobs and Cliff Compton ran out to attack Whitmer, but Michael Elgin and Jay Lethal ran out with a ref that started the match. When this was all happening, Rhett Titus was still tied up. Fire Russo! Clap, clap, clap. Fire Russo!

The synopsis: Titus has always struck me as someone who was more outlandishly entertaining than technically sound or intimating; therefore, I just cannot take him seriously in SCUM. I do not know who’s to  blame for the match, but it came across that they never worked an I Quit match in their life. They were just doing a regular match. And the match had no hatred, no intensity, no violence, no nothing.

The finish absolutely made no sense either. Why did Rhett Titus quit?  And more importantly, why doesn’t Whitmer hit Corino with the chair anyway?This made him look like the biggest moron on the planet. Oh, it gets worse too. They have SCUM come down to beat up Whitmer only for Elgin and Lethal to make the save, and then declare their match vs. SCUM was next. Were they running out of time? Did they really have to overbook this anymore?  Plus, I thought SCUM’s opponents were supposed to be a surprise, so how did Elgin and Lethal know it was them? I guess they just assumed. This entire thing made my head hurt. It’s the worst put together match I’ve seen this year. DUD

SCUM def. Michael Elgin and Kevin Steen/Jay Lethal:  If SCUM lose, Steve Corino is fired. But if they win, he gets to be an announcer and a member of SCUM gets a title shot. Elign and Lethal were rolling until Lethal suicide dived outside the ring and hurt his knee. This  led to a funny moment where Corino is advocating the referee to count him out. The numbers game™ was against Michael Eligg, but Kevin Steen came through the crowd to get up on the apron to help. The ref told him to leave, but McGuinness neglected the ref’s decision. Steen kicked Compton and Jacobs’ ass for a while, and then Elgin had Jacobs up for a powerbomb, but Jacobs ran in to chop blocked his leg. Thereafter, Steen picked Comton up for the package piledriver, but Jacobs rolled him up for the win @ 20:09

Synopsis: Good match. The match told a basic but effective story where Elgin had to overcome the odds due to a fluke injury to his partner. Later on, backwards and imprudent booking marred the match, though. I do not comprehend why they ever would stack the deck against the heels only for them to win. I get that they want to get the SCUM over as a force to be reckoned with, but do not make the babyfaces looks like complete morons in the process.  The bulk of the match, though, was an amusing highlight reel that displayed inventive handicap spots as well as Elign’s ridiculous power and agility. *** ¼

R.D. Evans and Q.T. Marshall came out after a way too long intermission. The audio made it hard to hear what they were saying, but the crowd was doing the Fandango dance during the segment. Eventually, this led to a peculiar return of Tomasso Ciampa. It is good to see Ciampa back in action, but next time you are going to do a surprise return, do not play his music for two minutes before he comes out, ROH.

Eddie Edwards def. Taiji Ishimori: This is the first time I ever saw Ishimori wrestle. Great exchanges and pace early on. Ishimori hit Edwards with a superkick followed by roundhouse kick to the head for a nearfall. Ishimori tried a 450, but Edwards got his knees up. Later on, Edwards and Ishimori both stand on the top turnbuckle. Edwards drilled him with a super hurricanrana and then several power bombs, but only for two. Edwards finished it with the diehard driver @ 15:30. After the match, Edwards signaled he wanted a shot at Ishimori’s title. They shook hands as the crowd screamed “come back” to  Ishimori.

The synopsis: Good God, what a fantastic match. This made any balls-to-the-wall WWE match look like shit. This has no down time, displayed state-of-the-art moves, and had oodles of epic wrestling exchanges and sequences. The only problem was it felt a bit rush. If they were given time to build the match and sell better, this could have received the full monty. Further, since Edwards indicated he wanted a title shot, it makes this match seem important looking back instead of being just an exhibition. Seriously, they need to do a rematch with more time and something prestigious on the line.  ****

Matt Taven © w/ Truth Martini and the Hoopla Hotties def. Mark Briscoe to retain the ROH TV title: Martini entered the ring in order to try to hit Mark with the book of truth, but he missed. Later on, Taven rolled up Mark from behind for the win @ 13:42.

Synopsis: Boring match. I believe its designed purpose was to be a buffer. Everything felt phoned-in and through the motion. It was sloppy in parts as well. Eh, whatever. * ½

 Davey Richards def. Paul London: Paul appeared to be in good shape. Lots and lots of wrestling exchanges early on. The crowd was shitting on Davey Richards, but he embraced it and ran with it. London took him down with a hurricanrana and then went for a springboard. However, Richards nailed him with an enzuguri from the apron. Richards clinched in a leg hold while taunting the crowd. Later on, London beat the 20-count outside the ring, but Richards drilled him with a dropkick when he tried getting back in the ring. Richards proceeded to drill London with a double stomp square in the face. London was noticeably out cold. The crowd chanted at Ricards “you killed Paul”. Once London woke up, they went up top and London executed a sunset bomb. London went for a SSP, but Richards got his knees up and turned into a pin to get the win @ 15:39. After the match, Richard cut lousy promo. He talked went too fast through it, not allowing anyone to process the information he was giving. The only thing I could was him mentioning Canada hates him and that he respect Paul.

Synopsis: Oh, Davey. I just do not know about you. He truly has all the potential in the world. Amazingly athletic, superbly agility, bat-shit crazy, great at wrestling exchanges, and so on and so on. However, he essentially defies logical and psychology in every match. He will execute a marvelous looking spot because it looks cool, disregarding that the spot makes no sense from a psychology viewpoint or for the match’s narrative. Because of that, it is hard for me to get emotionally invested into him. And while this match was entertaining, it didn’t have a story to invest into. *** ¼

Jay Briscoe © def. Adam Cole: Believe it or not, this is your main event of the evening. It’s not that bad so far. It is just that ROH hasn’t really given us a factual reason why these two are in the main event. During the end of the match, Nigel acted like he was going to get some help, but crotched Corino instead. He hit the tower of London on Corino. Cole stared at Corino and McGuinness, which allowed Jay to come up from behind and nail the Jay-driller for the win @ 21:00. After the match, Adam Cole appeared to be lining up Briscoe for a super kick until Briscoe saw him, teasing a heel turn.

Synopsis: Slightly overbooked, but the good news is this layered story keeps progressing. There are many directions they can go this, which always is a good thing if you want people on the edge of their seats. Again, neither guy in the match felt like they belonged. Briscoe’s title reign was out of nowhere in the first place. It was not as if he was built up for months. And Cole has been mid-carder in his tenure so far. Word around the bush is Cole is more suited as a heel, so I hope they turn him to see. It will also be interesting to see what ROH does with Briscoe after his distasteful tweets about homosexuality. Match was okay. ** ¾

Final Verdict: Despite some bad booking early on, this ended up being a strong PPV. There were only two bad matches. There were a lot of solid-to-good matches. And one really great match. They also added more layers to the SCUM angle and teased an Adam Cole heel turn, which they can build off for television. I do not think this will be called PPV of the year, but it surpassed all WWE and TNA’s PPVs this year.

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So I’m going to look ahead in my crystal ball. My crystal ball that probably isn’t right, but it would be if I had any say. I’m looking ahead to the rest of 2013. Here, I will take a look at five feuds that I would like to see happen in the WWE this calendar year. The problem with three hour RAWs, however, is that we see a lot of wrestling on the show that lessens the impact of a feud down the line. Or, we see Kofi Kingston vs Dolph Ziggler for the 523897289 time. While the wrestling is good, it also over exposes the product and makes us see matches that could be built up to a PPV match if there wasn’t so much time to fill.

But enough complaining about 3 hour RAWs, let’s get into My 5 Feuds I Want To See This Year!

1. World Champion Dolph Ziggler vs Daniel Bryan

In my early Wrestlemania 30 Predictions column, I wanted to see Daniel Bryan take on Randy Orton for the World Title at Wrestlemania. That can still happen if this feud takes place. Bryan doesn’t have to win the Title here. He could have a 1 or 2 PPV Match feud with Bryan and move on. It would also help get Ziggler over more. Once again, another problem with the WWE today is that the heels are booked so poorly that they lack credibility. Look at Dolph Ziggler for example. He’s barely been World Champ for a month and he already has lost to Jack Swagger in a singles match and tapped out to Alberto del Rio in another match. The heels aren’t the ones who are supposed to look vulnerable in wrestling. But the WWE likes to live in opposite land when it comes to that.

As far as Daniel Bryan goes, the guy has been ready for a big singles push forever now. But he has been stuck in Team Hell No forever now. Bryan can definitely hold his own in the ring and he has evolved so much as a character over the last year. He has a personality now and has improved on the mic. This could be a good feud to have going in the early fall. Imagine if these two were given 20 minutes on PPV to just go at it? At minimum, you would be looking at a ***1/2 star match. If Ziggler is going to be established as the next main event star in the WWE, he needs to hold the World Title for a long time. A quick loss by Ziggler does nothing but shoot him back down the card.

2. WWE Champion John Cena vs Antonio Cesaro

You think I’m joking with this, don’t you? Well I’m not. Despite the constant terrible booking of Cesaro in the last month, he still appears to be high on the WWE’s radar. He had a great match with Kofi Kingston on Main Event last week, and he received a lot of praise for it. He is kind of getting the Dolph Ziggler treatment right now. He’s taking a lot of losses, presumably before being built up as a main eventer down the line. If you ask me right now who my favorite would be to win the RAW Money in the Bank Match, Cesaro would be my guy. He’s very polished in the ring and has the look Vince McMahon likes. John Cena is only as good as the guy across the ring is from him. And Cesaro is one hell of an opponent to have.

But who’s to say that this feud couldn’t happen pre-Money in the Bank. Lets say that the WWE decides to go in a different direction with Cena after he is done with Ryback. Who does John Cena feud with next? CM Punk isn’t walking through the door anytime soon. Dolph Ziggler is World Champ. We aren’t getting Randy Orton/Cena again. There’s always the possibility of Mark Henry, but I can’t picture Cena going from one giant monster to another. The Shield could get a main event push, but June/July would be too soon. If Fandango was still hot you could make an argument for him. Cesaro is one of the few options they have left that hasn’t been done before. The WWE needs to build Cesaro up if they wanted to do this in early summer. One way or another, I would like to see this happen.

3. Randy Orton vs Fandango

If the WWE wants the Fandango character to stick, they are going to need him to feud with some of the top stars in the company going forward. His program with Chris Jericho is okay right now, but it is more on the goofy than serious side. With Chris Jericho more than likely leaving again after this program with Fandango, you would expect Fandango to come out on top. Fandango isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Is it corny? A little bit. But as we said on the Creatively Endeavored Podcast, you need characters like this in wrestling. If you don’t understand that than you take wrestling way too seriously. Fandango is a good worker in the ring and he can make it work.

Randy Orton would be the complete opposite feud for Fandango. While Chris Jericho is the goofy program, Orton would be the serious, no-nonsense program for Fandango. We have been clamoring for a Randy Orton heel turn almost as much as a John Cena heel turn. Losing a couple matches to Fandango might finally get Orton to snap and turn on somebody. Yeah Orton is over, but he works so much better as a heel. And there are some fresh match-ups out there for a heel Randy Orton. This could be a good program in the summer that catapults Fandango farther up the crowd, and gives Randy Orton more motivation for a potential heel turn.

4. CM Punk vs Brock Lesnar

I’m pretty sure we can all agree that we’ve seen enough of Brock Lesnar vs Triple H. I’m disappointed that they are even wasting a third Brock Lesnar appearance on it. You can’t raise the stakes anymore than you did at Wrestlemania. It is the WWE’s own fault for getting in the whole they are in. But after Extreme Rules, Brock Lesnar is going to need a new opponent. There are a handful of options that could work. I still maintain that Lesnar’s first feud in the WWE should have been with Randy Orton, not John Cena. I wrote about scenarios where Cena/Lesnar was saved until this year’s Wrestlemania. Now Orton isn’t a likely choice due to his eventual heel turn. If the WWE wanted to get serious with Sheamus again, him vs Lesnar could work. Ryback is more than likely out of the picture with his heel turn. And an Undertaker/Brock Lesnar match would take place at Wrestlemania.

So who does that leave us with? My answer is CM Punk. Punk will need a big return when he comes back. And looking at the current roster, there isn’t too much to make a big return against. CM Punk’s departure set up a return that could be either a heel or a face one. It was pretty open ended. If it were me, I would do a redemption story for Punk, building up to a Royal Rumble win and WWE Title Match at Wrestlemania 30. But before that, Punk gets a return feud against a fellow Paul Heyman guy. There are a couple of ways you could do the split. Heyman could talk about moving on from Punk, then have Lesnar take Punk out. It could happen at the Payback PPV in June, in Punk’s hometown of Chicago. Then you have the summer to build up to Punk’s return match at SummerSlam against Lesnar. Punk/Lesnar is the next big money match to do with Lesnar.

5. The Shield vs Triple H, The Undertaker & Kane

Everything about The Shield has been great so far. They are what we wanted the Nexus to be. A young rebel group who runs rampant over the WWE. And they have yet to be beaten so far. It now appears that they will be going after some titles in the WWE, with the Tag Titles and possibly the United States Title the first ones on their list. But the problem with The Shield is that they have already taken out a handful of three men groups in the WWE, and pretty much all of the top stars have been involved in them. So eventually, after they have a run with the Titles, The Shield will need a new group of super faces to take on.

That is where Triple H, The Undertaker and Kane come in. Everything is already being set up for it. The Shield took out The Undertaker a few weeks ago on Smackdown. They were ready to take out Triple H. And with their on-going program with Team Hell No, a beatdown of Kane is always possible. Kane isn’t getting any younger and he could always use a month or two off from the road. Triple H and Undertaker would be fresh opponents for The Shield and win over them would be great for The Shield. It would give them the one more big win necessary to catapult up into possible WWE/World Title discussions. At least I would hope that The Shield would go over these guys. What good would Triple H and The Undertaker going over The Shield do? Nothing if you ask me.

And you know what, this looks like a strong SummerSlam card too. Throw in maybe Sheamus/Ryback, Jericho/Barrett and a couple other matches and you have a good looking SummerSlam card.

Agree or Disagree? Let me know!

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
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Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena vs Ryback
I haven’t been particularly fond of the build, primarily because Creative has gone the lazy route of turning Ryback into “Whiny Heel Batista 2.0″ just to go up against Cena. What happened to the exciting dynamic of putting two faces up against one another? If the intent is to make Ryback the next main eventer, wouldn’t it be prudent to keep him face against Cena to see just what kind of reaction he’d get from the crowd? You know, sort of like a measuring stick to figure out how much of the audience cheers for Ryback legitimately versus how much of the fanbase would cheer simply because he’s up against Cena. As it stands, Cena is one injury away from winding up on the shelf; who’d replace him? Surely not Orton or Sheamus.
Expectations: I expect Ryback’s bizarre momentum of losing the big one to continue simply because he’s always in the right place at the wrong time regarding his push. Cena spent over a year “struggling” to become WWE Champion again; I don’t see him losing it so soon.

Triple Threat Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship:
Dolph Ziggler vs Alberto del Rio vs Jack Swagger
Is it just me, or has Ziggler looked like a total chump ever since getting involved in this angle? We’ve had a decent series of one-on-ones since the feud began (particularly from Ziggler and del Rio) and the concept of a ladder match doesn’t exactly favor any one man, so the intrigue is definitely there.
Expectations: I most assuredly expect to see shenanigans involving the collective entourage surrounding the ring. I’m gonna go ahead and call this the bout of the night, since ladder matches rarely disappoint when it comes to excitement. Ziggler will more than likely steal a victory from del Rio, forcing them into a one-on-one confrontation.
UPDATE!!!!!! This bit of news could put a damper on things.

Steel Cage Match: Triple H vs Brock Lesnar
The cage match concept is a call-back to the old school era wherein a blood feud would end inside the unforgiving steel. Unfortunately, no one gives a shit about this match because nobody wants to see a third go-round with Triple H and Lesnar. Heyman’s “Beast Incarnate” is being wasted in this pointless angle. Instead of helping the younger guys get off the ground, Lesnar is facing a nearly-retired wrestler who does not need the spotlight anymore.
Expectations: Probably the only match where blood-letting will be intentional. Lesnar needs to win this and move on to more worthy opposition.

Sheamus vs Mark Henry
This match should have taken place at the height of Mark Henry’s title run but instead we had Big Show linger around the title scene. On the plus side, Daniel Bryan became World Heavyweight Champion out of the deal, so there’s that. Both Sheamus and Henry’s stocks are not what they once were a year ago; which, honestly, isn’t saying much.
Expectations: I suspect we’ll see a stipulation of some sort added, as Sheamus was literally whipped by Henry last Monday night and, for the last two weeks, they’ve both been involved in tests of strength. Perhaps a Texas Bullrope match? In any case I don’t see the crowd taking too kindly to this one.

Big Show vs Randy Orton
Another one of those “We need to fill up the card and these guys have nothing to do” matches. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Expectations: Where’s that Orton heel turn?

WWE Tag Team Championship: Team Hell No vs The Shield
The only other match on the card worth looking forward to. Daniel Bryan + The Shield = awesomeness. Let’s get the belts off of the stale champions and put them on the unstoppable newcomers, Freebirds-style.
Expectations: Reasonably high, honestly. There’s no excuse for this to be a bad match at all. New Tag Team Champions, baby!

Fandango vs Chris Jericho
As much as I love Jericho, this feud hasn’t done a damn thing for me. Fandango’s music is more over than HE is.
Expectations: This match has potential, if Y2J can do his damnedest to make a star out of Johnny Curtis. This could be surprise of the night.

Fatal Four Way for the Divas’ Championship: Kaitlyn vs AJ Lee vs the Bella Twins
Yes, I realize that AJ is technically the number one contender, but with the Bellas as the focus of the new reality show on E! and the manner in which they abandoned AJ on Monday night, I can see a Fatal Four Way brewing by the time we get to the PPV.
Expectations: Four minutes, tops. With the addition of the Bellas, Kaitlyn might eke out a victory. As much as I love Kaitlyn(‘s bewbs), I’d like to see AJ win.

Eight matches on a minor PPV might be pushing it, so I expect either Fandango/Jericho or the Diva match to be dropped entirely or relegated to some sort of pre-show. What do you think of the card’s potential? Let me know in the comments below.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.
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The Shield goes for Gold: With them feuding with Team Friendship over the past couple of weeks, it would seem that a shot at the tag team championship would happen soon for The Shield. The first question in this scenario would be which two of the three Shield members would be wearing the titles, but that question could be taken care of by other popular rumors that Dean Ambrose would be gunning for the USA championship leaving the other two to get the tag titles. Have all of this happen in a single PPV, and you’ll go have The Shield going from nothing to the holders of three belts all in the span of a matter of hours. Surely that would mean great things for the Shield? Well maybe not. First of all, while The Shield has technically been three guys all working together for a common goal, Dean Ambrose has always felt like the unofficial leader of the group. Maybe it’s because of all the hype the Internet was giving the guy before he ever came on, or maybe it’s because he has the best mic skills of the three, but whatever the reason, Ambrose seems like the voice, and therefore the brains of The Shield. Give him a title that’s different from the other two, and you’ll really cement the idea that they are serving as backup for Leader Ambrose. And if that’s what the WWE wants, to have Ambrose be the breakout star of the group, that’s fine, but the thing is, Having the USA title won’t really achieve that. In his time with the Shield, Ambrose has attacked and gone up against the likes of John Cena, The Undertaker, Ryback, and The Rock. These are guys who, to be honest, can’t be concerned with who the USA champion is. The mid card title is probably a step sideways at best for Ambrose and won’t really help in the long run.

The Split-up: The eventual end of all groups of two or more wrestlers. In fighting and disagreements lead to mistrust in the ring, lead to betrayals, lean to more fighting and bickering, lead to an eventual showdown at a PPV to cement the breakup of the group. This usually results in one of the members turning face or heel depending on the circumstances, and it is very possible, in fact even probable that this could happen to The Shield at some point. The problem is, these breakups are rarely good for anybody. Alex Riley broke up with the Miz and has barely been seen since. Awesome Truth broke up and R-Truth went from facing the Rock at Survivor Series to his dancing bit again. The Corre imploded and now Wade Barrett is the only member who hasn’t faded away or been put in 3MB and even he can’t seem to break out of the middle of the pack. I guess you could say the one true breaking off of a group success story from recent years would be CM Punk and Nexus, but that involved no fighting amongst members, had no final breaking point fight at a PPV, and only resulted because of Punk moving on to bigger and better things.  So WWE, when the time eventually does come to dissolve The Shield, please remember which route CM Punk took and which route Heath Slater took.

The next NWO: It’s been said more than once that the worst thing that WWE can do with the Shield is to make them into a modern day NWO. After all, remember what a mess that became, and remember how badly it ended? While I don’t deny that NWO was a mess eventually, nothing in wrestling lasts forever, and more often than not, when it does end, it tends to end awkwardly and poorly. What WWE is much more likely to focus on is the crazy amount of money NWO merchandise was making during its height and that the name can still sell DVD documentaries all these years later. And hey there are worst things that could happen. If we start adding members to The Shield like crazy, maybe the NWO formula will be followed to the letter and John Cena can take the Hogan role of surprise member of the group. Hey, at least then we’ll all get that heel turn we’ve been begging for all this time.
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The Heel Half

July 30th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Punk explains his actions to the world and, most of all, to Jerry Lawler. Punk discusses how he’s been slighted for respect in spite of being the WWE Champion. He’s interrupted by both Big Show and Cena who then start fighting each other, Punk looks bored in the background.

Summer Slam 2012: Punk vs John Cena vs Big Show. A Pay Per View famously labeled as the worst of the year which may be more indicative of that year than that of the show itself. It was a great year for WWE PPVs and, if you think about it, the only reason Summer Slam felt like such a bust was because the last two segments where a Kevin Rudolf concert and a lackluster Brock and HHH match that simply was just a series of take-downs and kimura locks. As for the WWE championship match, it actually was a lot better than what I was expecting. The majority of it was a game of King of the Hill with Big Show dominating and then we got the false finish with CM Punk locking Big Show in a submission hold as Cena appeared to be stretching Big Show’s leg and polishing his bald head (I’m told by certain people that this is called an “STF” but I have my doubts). Big Show taps and both Punk and Cena believe they win. GM AJ (how long ago does that feel) comes out and demands that the match be restarted. Big Show levels both men but doesn’t get the pin on either. Cena hits the AA and Punk pushes Cena out and collects the pin for himself.

August 27th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. CM Punk gets a Forrest Gump haircut and celebrates by blading during a steel cage match against Jerry Lawler.

September 3rd, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Punk attacks Lawler minutes before Raw started and revealing he wears studded belts. No wonder the Hot Topic crowd loves the guy.
Punk manages to do the impossible by getting boo’d in Chicago when he announces that he will not wrestle tonight.
Punk attackes John Cena backstage during a match against Del Rio. Punk drops Cena’s head onto the front of a car before leaning over Cena and saying “Respect.” Punk gets in the car which starts to slowly drive past Cena as Paul Heyman pops his head out of the driver-side window. The crowd loses their marbles.

September 10th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. In Montreal and interrupting Bret Hart, CM Punk gets the first thunderous boo’s from the crowd of his entire reign. Punk fights Jerry. Jerry has a heart attack.

Night of Champions 2012: Punk vs Cena. Cena debuts his breast cancer awareness gear, still kinda wish they put out CM Punk “Breast in the World” t-shirts. Punk seems to be one of the few people that’s able to get a really good match out of Cena and that’s what the case was tonight. Although, a lot of people have said what made this match memorable was Paul’s reaction on the sidelines. Cena hits a German suplex of the 2nd rope and the ref counts to 3. Cena’s music hits, he celebrates until the ref takes the belt away and give it to Punk as both men’s shoulders were on the mat, resulting in a draw. Cena complains to the ref. Punk smacks Cena in the face with the belt.

September 17th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Punk loses in a tag match against John Cena and Sheamus even though his foot was on the bottom rope. The world is introduced to Ref McDreamy himself, Braddox.

October 8th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Punk debuts an obnoxious yellow t-shirt, celebrates by clocking a fan in the head.

Hell in a Cell 2012: Punk vs Ryback. I remember what all everyone was debating among themselves leading up to this match. The biggest question was how Punk would get out of this match still champion without extinguishing all the momentum Ryback built up for himself. The answer? Braddox. It was an angle we should’ve seen a mile away and yet nobody did. It was an interesting match in that this was our first long look at Ryback in the ring and he has some promise…reckless and ended up injuring Punk but still, he has promise.

November 12, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Lawler returns from the heart attack and CM Punk waits an entire 3 minutes to interrupt and get heat off it.

Survivor Series 2012: Punk vs Ryback vs John Cena. Another solid match full of interesting moments, personally I enjoyed the look on Punk’s face when he was debating on helping Cena put Ryback through a table. The spotlight of the match obviously goes to the debut of The Shield, proving just how advantageous tactical turtlenecks can be.

November 19th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Punk celebrates the 1 year mark of his championship reign.

December 3rd, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Another Raw that’s on this review mainly because I was in attendance BUT this is the show that ended with Miz’ lie detector test that ended with Punk getting attacked by Ryback and leading to Punk getting surgery, leading him to miss TLC…thus beginning the month of only promo work setting his sights on Rock.

January 7th, 2013: Monday Night Raw. Punk returns to the ring in a TLC championship match against Ryback, presumably the one we were suppose to get at TLC. Punk wins after another Shield run-in in what was another really good match that we all got for free, not gonna complain.
Later in the show, Punk comes out to deliver probably his best promo since THE promo in 2011. Even the little things, like taking the WWE mic cover off before he began talking. This promo is probably the perfect companion piece to the original one, a character revisiting his grievances after a year and a half and adding some new ones. Of course this gets followed up by low-brow humor and overall disinterest of taking anything seriously by Rock. In spite of Rock running through his catch-phrase bingo card, Punk soldiers on and continues to deliver. Seriously, the “box with God” line was about as perfect as promos get.

Day 434
Royal Rumble 2013: CM Punk vs The Rock. Punk tried his best. That’s really all there is to say. Let’s face it, Rock is 41 years old and carrying more muscle than his frame can support. He’s lost a step just from natural aging added to the well-documented lack of cardio, which is ironic seeing as how during his championship reign, Punk had made guys like Mark Henry look like a million bucks. The match was fine, there were some enjoyable moments such as Punk refusing to destroy the Spanish announce table only for the table to no-sell a Rock Bottom. But, Shield attacking and Rock shaking it off after the match restarted was just weak sauce. Rock hits the People’s Elbow and it ends.

There was plenty to follow after Punk lost the championship. There was the rematch at Elimination Chamber that was about the same as their Rumble match. Punk went on to have one of his greatest matches ever on free tv against John Cena. Then there was The Undertaker, a feud that could probably have it’s own column some day just based off the Punk’s promo work. Now he’s taking a much-deserved break and part of the purpose of this column was to put into words just how deserved this break is. In 2011, Punk promised a lot of changes that he would bring about and some of them haven’t come to fruition just yet, some of them may never happen. However, at one point he said that he was going to make this fun again and he absolutely has. After his 2011 promo, we saw a lot of former fans coming back to check out the product, some sticking around and some leaving yet again, but that’s probably the best way I can describe experiencing Punk’s championship reign. It was fun and I’m sure he’ll make things fun whenever he comes back.

If you didn’t catch Part 1 of this series, you can do so by clicking here.

Housekeeping!
I’m proud to say that our kickstarter for Moon Bear HAS reached it’s goal and I wanted to say thank you to everyone that contributed and became a backer. If you haven’t done so, you still have a couple days to check us out. My recommendation: pledge at least $25 to make sure you get a DVD copy of the finished product because it’s going to turn out incredibly well.

This week on the Classy Ring Attire, Blair Douglas comes out of his wrestling exile to join us this week so don’t miss that! Follow us on twitter @CRAttire

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: CM Punk reacts to losing the title exactly how you think he would.
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This Is Why We Don’t Like John Cena

John Cena came out, RUNNING TO THE RING! Way to sell that injury John. He said that it has been a week of unrest in the WWE. He did Daniel Bryan’s Yes/No chant. He said competing on RAW last week was a bad idea, but it wouldn’t stop him from competing at Extreme Rules. He said he was confused by Ryback’s gaze into his eyes last week, and he is DTF. That means he is ready to “Do The Fandango.” He then talked about some photo with Betty White. He said he may not be 100%, but that isn’t going to stop him from defending his WWE Championship.

Vickie Guerrero came out. She said she is glad to hear that John Cena will be fighting at Extreme Rules. She said that it isn’t any ordinary PPV, and that it is Extreme. She said she wouldn’t make a stipulation without the input of the Champ and Challenger. She invited Ryback out. She asked Cena his match preference. Cena said how about a “Whine Off.” Cena did a bad Ryback impersination. He said why not do a “Vickie Guerrero’s Granny Panties On A Pole Match.” Cena said on second thought, they probably shouldn’t do that. Ryback said he would not fight Cena tonight. He ended up choosing a Last Man Standing Match.

Segment Analysis: That type of segment is exactly why we don’t like John Cena. Stupid corny jokes and references to Betty White photos that nobody gets. It was a poor comedy segment that took too long to get to the point of making the match a Last Man Standing Match. Its a good stipulation that can give both men rest spots to regain their energy. But the terrible build to it might make the match mean almost nothing. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Randy Orton>Rhodes Scholars

Damien Sandow came out and sang a great song about Randy Orton. Me writing it would do no justice. Orton attacked Sandow and clotheslined him on the outside then hit a backdrop on the barricade. Orton smashed Sandow’s head on the barricade then the ring, and went for a DDT on the floor. But Sandow backed Orton into the barricade. Orton gained control in the ring then hit a backbreaker and ten corner punches. Orton stomped Sandow then hit a dropkick into commercial. Sandow had Orton in a headlock back from break. He hit a side Russian Leg Sweep then the Elbow of Disdain for two. Orton fought out of a headlock and went into ORTON MODE!!! He hit the middle rope DDT then the RKO for the win.

The cameras went back to the announce table. Suddenly, Michael Cole pointed back to the ramp where Big Show hit a KO Punch on Orton.

Match Analysis: Nowhere close to the Orton/Rhodes match last week or Orton/Sandow from Smackdown. Go out and find Sandow mocking Orton during his entrance. Best part of the segment. Does anyone really want to see Randy Orton vs Big Show? Survey Says: 2/5

Chris Jericho came out. He said he put together a judge’s panel to judge Fandango’s upcoming match. He brought out his judges, Tons of Funk. Fandango said Jericho doesn’t deserve to judge him. R-Truth hit a heel kick then a face first suplex on Fandango then a kick to the back of the head. Fandango rolled out of the ring, then left after the judge’s gave R-Truth’s dance a 10. So that is Fandango’s first loss in his career? That was weak. And dumb.

Daniel Bryan was interviewed. He challenged Ryback to a match. Ryback said No, and that Bryan is in no condition to fight him. Kane showed up and said what about him. He said Kane isn’t the monster he used to be and ended with RYBACK RULES. So is that a yes or no?

Ziggler Win? Nah

Alberto del Rio vs Dolph Ziggler. Del Rio started with a headlock takedown. He then hit a hip toss and kick to the back. Ziggler fought back with a dropkick, then some kicks and a splash in the corner. Del Rio side stepped Ziggler then hit a kick to the arm. Ziggler blocked a suplex and hit one of his own. Ziggler got caught in the ropes and ADR hit some kidney punches then a back stabber. Jack Swagger’s music played and him and Zeb Colter walked to the ring for commentary. Back from break Ziggler hit a dropkick for a nearfall. Ziggler hit a multitude of elbows. Del Rio fought out of a headlock with a jaw breaker then a face first slam. Del Rio missed his enziguri kick in the corner, but I think he still connected by accident on the fall to the mat. Del Rio went for the cross armbreaker but Ziggler countered into a neckbreaker. Del Rio knocked Ziggler off the turnbuckle, then hit a reverse face first suplex off the top for two. Ziggler missed a splash in the corner, allowing Del Rio to hit some clotheslines then a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and kick to the face for two. After a couple of counters, Del Rio applied the cross armbreaker. A.J. distracted the ref, allowing Big E to grab Del Rio and throw him into Swagger, causing a DQ. Swagger took out Big E then Del Rio. He grabbed a ladder and took out Dolph and Del Rio in the ring, and Ricardo out of the ring.

Match Analysis: Average match. Swagger is the first man to look strong headed into Extreme Rules. Would have preferred to see a Ziggler win there, especially after taking a loss last week, but we know the WWE doesn’t book heels to look strong the majority of the time. Match had a couple of good spots. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Kaitlyn tooked about her secret admirer with Natalya, Cameron and Naomi. Apparently Great Khali is going undercover to find out. After they left, the Bellas came out and smiled. Looks like someone is trolling Kaitlyn.

The Shield defeated Kofi Kingston and The Usos. The Shield domianted most of the match until Kofi got the hot tag. Seth Rollins eventually pushed Kofi off the top rope and Ambrose hit a face first DDT for the win. Typical Shield match against jobbers. Just a way to get them on TV.

Antonio Cesaro made quick work of Zack Ryder. Afterwords he took the mic and said there was no one in the WWE that is as good as him.

Brock Lesnar: Home Decorator?

Paul Heyman showed up live via satellite. Heyman showed the footage of him and Lesnar in WWE Headquarters. Lesnar stared down a guy in the elevator. They looked at PPV Posters, with a subtle tease of  Rock/Brock with Brock looking at the Rumble poster. Brock destroyed HHH’s office. The only think he didn’t destroy was the office plant. Heyman said he is usually the one begging Brock Lesnar to stop. Heyman said he is no longer going to discourage Brock Lesnar, he is going to encourage and beg Brock to destroy HHH. Triple H came out. He asked if Paul Heyman ever opened his mouth without a bunch of crap coming out of it. Hunter said he knows extreme. He co-founded D-X, tore through the Attitude Era and beat Brock Lesnar. HHH said Heyman knew he was at RAW. HHH said he has two offices, and he is standing in one of them. HHH said he became a man in the ring, something Brock isn’t. Hunter said if Brock ever wants to say something to him, he isn’t hard to find. And in the ring, he fights back.

Segment Analysis: It seems like they are just reaching with this feud now. No CM Punk or Rock, so the WWE had to keep these two going at it rather than build to another program with Brock. Resorting to destroying HHH’s office? Now that gets a feud going! Survey Says: 2/5

Kaitlyn, Cameron and Naomi defeated A.J. and The Bellas. A.J. slapped Kaitlyn and went to tag the Bellas but they bailed. Kaitlyn hit the Spear for the win.

Mark Henry: Belt Thief?

Mark Henry came out. He said Sheamus is going to come out and act real tough. But that is the problem. Sheamus acts tough. But Mark Henry is really tough. Henry replayed some of his attacks on Sheamus. He said if Sheamus has any guts, he will face him at Extreme Rules. Henry said it has been a long time since he got extreme, but people will remember this match. Sheamus came out and showed some clips of him getting the better of Henry. Henry didn’t want to wait until Extreme Rules. They were ready to fight but Wade Barrett came out, he already had a match scheduled with Sheamus.

Back from commercial Sheamus vs Wade Barret already started. Sheamus hit a high knee then his rope punches. Sheamus then knocked Barrett off the apron. Sheamus went to throw Barrett into Henry, but he stopped himself. Henry got up and was hit with a Brogue Kick. In the ring, Sheamus hit a battering ram on Barrett. Barrett came back with a roll up, but Sheamus hit the Irish Curse backbreaker for two. Barrett ducked a Brogue Kick and hit two kicks of his own. Sheamus ducked an elbow and hit White Noise. Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick for the win.

After the match, Henry hit Sheamus with a belt then hit the World’s Strongest Slam on the floor.

Segment Analysis: Looks like we are on our way to a Strap Match at Extreme Rules. At least this feud has a little heat to it, but not that much. I still think Henry is underrated and can be used better, but that is just me. Sheamus just comes off as a huge dick as a face. Survey Says: 2.5/5

An ad aired for a Fandango/Chris Jericho Dance Off Next Week.

This Is The Main Event? I Feel Bad For The Paying Audience

Main event time. Kane had control early. On the outside, Ryback tossed Kane into the barricade. Back from break Ryback hit a bodyslam then a splash. Ryback hit a Lou Thesz press, but then ran right into a Kane boot. Kane went for a chokeslam, but Ryback got out of it. Kane hit an upper cut then a DDT for two. Kane then hit some clotheslines in the corner, but Ryback came right back with a spinebuster. Kane countered with a suplex for two. Ryback crotched Kane on the turnbuckle, then hit Shell Shocked for the win.

After the match, The Shield came out. Daniel Bryan came out to protect Kane, but Ryback bailed. John Cena came out to help Bryan. Ryback came back with a chair and he used it on Cena.

Segment Analysis: Ho-hum ending to a ho-hum RAW. Match wasn’t great, and as much as I love The Shield it is getting to the point where it is the same thing week in and week out. I don’t know why the announcers sold shock from Ryback’s actions. This was very much a “hold steady” show in anticipation for the final build to Extreme Rules next week. Survey Says: 2/5

OVERALL

There just wasn’t a lot to this show to like. There was one decent match between Ziggler and Alberto del Rio, and that was it. Nothing else really seemed to matter or do too much. The advancement for HHH/Lesnar was terrible. HHH said he didn’t care about his office being destroyed, basically negating the whole point of that segment. Sheamus continues to be booked as a terrible babyface. Dolph Ziggler isn’t being booked like a World Champ. And The Shield needs to do something a bit different before their act starts getting a little to stale. The filler was exactly that, filler. Nothing of note on this show. I’m giving it a 2.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
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The other bit of news has been WWE giving their quarterly shareholder stuff and, really, they aren’t going to be dying any time soon, and that’s all that should matter to us wrestling fans. We’re going to be stuck with WWE for a long, long, long time to come, it seems.

So, I was stuck for a column. Then, at training the other night, one of the guys asked this question, “Considering the way they were booked, who would have won – 1986 WWF Hulk Hogan or 1996 WWF Hulk Hogan?”

Wow, what a question. 1986 Hogan was the new face of professional wrestling as a pop culture commodity. He was there for the first Wrestlemania, beat King Kong Bundy in a cage and was heading towards 1987 and the Wrestlemania 3 showdown with Andre the Giant. He was beating all comers.

1996 Hogan, on the other hand, was the face of WCW, beating all comers, making the great Ric Flair look like a jobber and defeating or holding off as many as 8 other wrestlers by himself. He might take a loss here or there, but the outside interference for that to happen was normally off the charts. Even when Hulk wasn’t around, the others talked about him. He was the complete and utter centre of attention. And so when the nWo came along, he was the central focus of that group as well.

I think, judging by booking alone, 1996 Hogan would have won easily after weeks of pathetic build. But that’s just my opinion.

So who would have won? 1986 WWF Hulk Hogan or 1996 WCW ‘Immortal’ ‘Hollywood’ Hulk Hogan?

  So who else was there?   Let’s look at CM Punk. In 2005 Punk – then with Ring Of Honour – signed a deal with WWE. Thus started 3 months of chaos known as the ‘Summer of Punk’. He beat all comers and ran rough-shod over the locker-room until losing, in the end to Colt Cabana. Fast forward to 2012. Punk is the WWE World Heavyweight champion, and holds that title for 434 days, a modern-era record. Even though he has used help at times, he beats all comers until losing to the Rock.   So who would win? 2005 ROH “Summer of Punk” CM Punk or 2012 WWE “434 day champion” CM Punk?

Mick Foley is an interesting study. By the time he left WCW, ‘Cactus Jack’ was an insane wrestler who would take insane bumps and use bizarre mental tactics to get any win he could. His battles with Sting and Big Bad Vader were legendary. And then he came into WWE and ‘Mankind’ was born. This was the Mick Foley who won the WWE Title and was thrown off the Hell in a Cell. He was taking more and more insane bumps, but was a step or two slower in the ring. Still, he was booked to be a 3-time WWE champion.

So who would win? 1993 WCW Cactus Jack or 1998 WWF Mankind?

In 1995 a huge man named Paul Wight entered WCW. Billed as ‘The Giant’, he was alleged to be the son of Andre the Giant and won the WCW title from Hulk Hogan in his first match. By 1996 he was having better than watchable matches and running roughshod over the competition, eventually defeating Ric Flair for the title before losing it to Hogan due to a lot of outside interference. This Giant could throw dropkicks and chokeslam literally anyone. In 1999, during the St Valentine’s Day Massacre PPV, a huge man emerged from beneath the ring during the Vince McMahon-Steve Austin cage match and destroyed Austin, though it led to Austin’s victory. This was the Big Nasty, later the Big Show born in WWF. By year’s end he was the WWF champion as well, and his matches were generally regarded as watchable. So who would win? 1996 WCW The Giant or 2000 WWF The Big Show?

In 1998 a legitimate gold medallist named Kurt Angle debuted in the WWF. His skills in the ring were smooth and clean, and it did not take him long to embrace the sports entertainment culture of life in the televised circus, winning the WWE title on numerous occasions. His bouts in 2000 and 2001 were legendary, especially his series of matches against Chris Benoit. Then came 2006-7 and the first years in TNA. A noticeably smaller Angle beat all comers – including stopping Samoa Joe’s undefeated streak – and upped the intensity in the ring on his way to TNA gold. He was a big deal in a smaller pond, but he was booked to be a wrestling god.

So who would win? 2001 WWE Kurt Angle or 2007 TNA Kurt Angle?

As always, comments are more than welcome.

And that’s the end of another view.

 
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We start with a video highlights package from RCW100. Man, some of that ladder match stuff still looks brutal.

May the 4th… and so we open with a Star Wars styled opening scrawl on the big screen of the matches. Nice. Commentators are Josh Armour and Todd Eastman. They’ve cleaned up the sound system. Sounds great.

Match 1: Mean Street Wrecking Crew (Brad Smyth & Hammer) v The Benchwarmers (Damo Damo & Shannon Jarvis). There’s a strange little fan-girl in the front row who’s all over Brad when he enters. Damo is still the most over guy in the company. Hammer has a go at the fan girl. Shannon and Brad start. Shannon with a kick to the head for a 2 count only 10 seconds in. Damo in and he’s in control. Slight mistiming; that looked awkward. Some interesting moves happening here. Blind tag to Hammer. Hammer destroys Jarvis with some great strength moves. Double stomp by Brad gets 2. Hammer in; crowd is calling for Damo. Damo in and he’s a house of fire. Hammer in to break up a count but hits Smyth instead. Hammer catches a fly Damo fly cross-body, but a Jarvis dropkick sends him out. Jarvis and Hammer both out and hurt. The fly Damo fly is caught by Brad into a backbreaker, chokeslam combo. Smyth goes to pick up Damo but he rolls him up for the win while Jarvis holds Hammer back outside. The Benchwarmers win! Crowd explodes. Good match to boot.

Insane fan girl runs into the ring to hug Brad and she chases him all the way to the backstage area. “You know, I always thought it’d be boys chasing after him,” says Todd.

Match 2: Johnny Barnes v Del Taurino. The ref confiscates Barnes’ beer before the match. How is that fair? Barnes jump-starts the match, back and forth until it goes outside. Barnes tackles Taurino and it’s just a brawl. Taurino in control, but he plays to the crowd and eats knee. Security brings insane fan girl back out to her seat to cheers/jeers. Match is still back and forth. Crowd not into it. Barnes is wrestling in his bum-bag (Fanny-pack). Really? Match slows down with a few sleepers from Barnes. Suplex from Taurino and both men are down. Up at 9. Barnes runs in, Taurino rolls him up for 3. Another roll up? Match felt slightly disjointed. Post-match Barnes takes out Del Taurino. He goes to unmask Del Taurino until the rest of the Rude Ones storm the ring and run him off.

Match 3: (“The first of our main events for the night.” Really? Third match on the card?) RCW Women’s Title. Eliza Sway (c) v Kellyanne English. English is a bit of an unknown – she’s fought under that name at least once before – but is automatically treated as the face, showing how effective Sway is as a heel. English is going off to Mexico soon to fight in AAA, so we wish her all the best. Loose start. Outside quickly and Sway just beats on English. Nice spinebuster from Sway. Crowd is losing its interest. Long beatdown. English tries some chain but Sway beats her down again. English tries an eat da feet, but doesn’t quite connect. Roll through by English gets 2, then enziguri. English slowly goes up but Sway catches her into a sort of spinebuster, but English then locks on a triangle choke. Both up and Sway hits a package bomb for the win to retain the title. Loose match.

Strange symbol appears on the big screen.

Match 4: The BFFs (Carlo Cannon & Ryan Rollins) v The Armstrongs (Nick & Jett). Rematch from RCW100. BFFs jump start the match, but double dropkicks from the Armstrongs turn the tide. Stereo moves for a while, up to an Armstrong double somersault plancha. Nice height, too. I like starts like that. Now we’re into the wrestling. Armstrongs dominate to start. Rollins in and the timing misses a little, but, man, is it fast. Jett becomes your face in peril. Some nice double team moves. Long beat-down, though. Cannon in with a nice jumping elbow. Jett dropkicks Cannon out but still can’t make the tag. Crowd is livid. Beatdown continues. Jett hits a tornado DDT and finally the hot tag. Nick is on fire. It breaks down. Everyone’s in the ring, everyone’s pinning everyone and the ref is doing nothing to restore order. A four-high tower spot pops the crowd hugely. All four men are down. Cannon tries a cover… for 2. Jett looks to have injured his shoulder. But he still grabs Cannon and Nick turns a Rollins crossbody into an RKO. The Armstrongs then hit a sliced bread-powerbomb combo for the win. Hot ending, even if the rule keeping made no sense. And Jett’s selling of the arm injury is so impressive he comes out in a sling to sign autographs after the show. Bravo, sir! BFFs hug it out in the ring afterwards.

That symbol appears again on the screen.

Match 5: Josh Shooter v GD Grimm. Shooter’s entrance is so close to Cannon’s it looks… odd. Back and forth until a testicular knee swings it in Shooter’s favour. Shooter in control for a while. Grimm back, Shooter back. Chops a go-go. Shooter in control again. Shooter playing with Grimm. Grimm hulks up and chops the skin off Shooter’s chest. Shooter’s chest is red. Grimm hits a front face suplex. Big boot wins it for Grimm. Not a bad match.

Match 6: Fuzion (with mask, without manager) v Marvel (with mask, with manager – El Presidente). Technical match, which surprises me, until Fuzion hits a Greco-Roman thumb to the eye. Spinebuster from Fuzion, and a solid one, too. Crowd aren’t into it, but screw ‘em, it’s a good match. Fuzion in control. Marvel back with a reverse DDT. Marvel thrown out via ring post. Ouch. Fuzion back in control. Fuzion sets up for the chokeslam, but Marvel gets out of it. He locks in the dragon sleeper, but Barnes comes out and decks El Presidente, then runs in and breaks up the sleeper for a Marvel DQ win. Barnes takes out the ref as Fuzion walks to the back. He tries to take off Marvel’s mask and does so, but EL Presidente is there to cover Marvel’s face. Del Taurino out to make the save. Barnes escapes through the crowd. Great match, odd ending, but at least it’s setting up something in a different way we haven’t seen in RCW before. We’ve seen it in WCW, WWE and Chikara, but not RCW.

Match 7: Andy Phoenix (from Dublin, Ireland, making his RCW debut, with a leprechaun girl) v Luke Santamaria. Andy has a mic. He says he’s come here to face the best Australia has to offer. He decries the person RCW has put up against him. Crowd down on him big time. Chain wrestling to start. Luke takes over, but the leprechaun girl interferes. Double underhook overhead snap suplex by Phoenix was a sweet looking move, for two. Leprechaun girl keeps on interfering while Phoenix distracts the ref. Another case of “the ref is blind/stupid”. Exploder suplex gets 2 for Phoenix. Some good wrestling, but match flow is disjointed. Awkward backslide bomb from Luke. In rope armbar from Phoenix. Yakuza kick gets 2 for Phoenix. Face first front suplex gets the win for Phoenix. Again, not a bad match.

Match 8: Main Event: RCW Championship Match: Andy ‘Voodoo’ Roy v Big Brodie Marshall (Strength Cup holder) v Chris ‘Mimic’ Basso (c). Two faces and a heel. Interesting dynamic they’re playing with here. That strange symbol appears again, along with some odd talking. No-one in the ring seems to know what’s going on. We start fast with a triple roll up. And, sure enough, Voodoo is soon out and it’s a 1-on-1 match. A slow one, at that. Chain wrestling, then chop-swapping. Brodie brings Voodoo in the hard way. A 3-way dance until Voodoo hits Brodie with the back-cracker and is thrown out. Voodoo-Mimic now. The intensity picks up somewhat. Back and forth between them until Voodoo dropkicks Mimic out to the floor. Brodie in now, so it’s Brodie-Voodoo 1-on-1. Back and forth again, I like the way they’re doing this one so damn evenly. Anyone could literally win. And 10 minutes in we get our first resthold. For 10 seconds. This is non-stop. Voodoo makes a pin but Mimic saves. All three in the ring. Too fast to call. Brodie with some odd looking punches on Mimic. Brodie throws Mimic into a moonsault onto Voodoo outside. Wow! Voodoo goes for a stalling elbow on Brodie, but Mimic takes him down as he delivers it. Christ! Sit out F5 by Mimic on Brodie gets 2. Mimic moonsault eats Brodie’s knees. Brodie turns both men inside out with clotheslines. Brodie powerbombs Mimic onto Voodoo’s back, but only gets 2. Voodoo hits the destroyer on Mimic, Brodie breaks up the pin. Stalling elbow on Brodie gets 2 for Voodoo. Sway runs out, But Mimic makes sure Voodoo runs into her. Another destroyer, another save. Crowd is on its feet. Marshall Law on Voodoo… for 2. Brodie goes for Marshall law on Mimic, but a Voodoo dropkick to his knee drops him like a sack of spuds. Ref runs away for help! WTF? Josh Armour is out there, distracting Mimic long enough for Sway to hit him with her belt. Voodoo pins Mimic and wins the title. One month title reigns rock, apparently. Despite that, a really good match.

The new General Manager of RCW is now announced as Josh Armour.

Out comes Grimm. He threatens Voodoo and is using his key to the city right now. But JD Armour says no. Grimm threatens them all.

Well, that was odd.

Overall, the show was a bit of a letdown after RCW100, with some good matches and some ones that felt strange. Disjointed flow marred some of the matches. Look, certainly not a bad show – I’ve been to a lot worse than this – but I have seen better. Still, much better for the most part than Raw or Smackdown at the moment.
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This sucks, doesn’t it? I mean, I went through the Rolodex in my mind, looking for something interesting to write about this week, and realized by 9 PM EST the night before my deadline that I had absolutely NOTHING to talk about at length. Yeah, the business is in a bit of a lull….so here are some epic thoughts! Feel free to comment on ‘em at your leisure and throw in your own for the hell of it.

1. After witnessing Big E Langston repeatedly destroy Kofi Kingston, and with AJ Lee in line for a title shot against Kaitlyn, how awesome would it be for Dolph Ziggler and his compatriots to hold three titles at the same time?

2. I’m not sure if Zack Ryder is trying to shed his image/gimmick or what. Initially I thought it was a heel turn, but it’s just seems like all that’s changed is his hairdo.

3. I never understood why the WWE caters to a city by trotting out their hometown heroes, only to job them out in front of friends and family. Why is this a tradition?

4. Anyone who hated on the “Make A Wish” segment is a heartless bastard. Those kids deserved their moment in the spotlight and it was in no way meant to give Cena a cheap pop.

5. I don’t normally wish bad tidings upon a wrestler, but is it wrong of me to wish that John Cena was so badly injured that he just could not wrestle for a few months, forcing the company to scramble to find a replacement face? I think that’d be a hell of a lot more interesting than any storyline we’ve got currently.

6. If it weren’t for the fact that The Shield are poised to dominate the tag team scene, I think I’d like to see Big Show and Randy Orton become a heel tag team. I’m not really sure why that intrigues me.

7. With the Bellas repeatedly caught cheating and paying for it one way or another, how long before the WWE mentions Brie’s new tits to differentiate between the two?

8. Looking at Great Khali, Natalya, and Hornswoggle standing in the ring reminds me of those Russian stacking dolls. Hell, that would be a brilliant marketing idea! I’m a genius!

9. Missing In Action: Ezekiel Jackson, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Bo Dallas, Evan Bourne, Christian, Ted DiBiase, Hunico, Camacho. Should any of these guys even bother coming back from injury/NXT, or would they just be wasting everyone’s time?

10. Should I switch to DISH network so I can record 6 shows at once via the Hopper? Let’s ask resident robot/corporate shill TomasHunter!

So long, and thanks for all the fish.
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The Face Half
Of course, we all know the story the summer of 2011. It was the moment Punk elevated himself into the upper echelon in WWE and brought a lot of fans back in the hopes of something new, fresh and (most importantly) fun. Once Punk came back and spent a couple another month in the championship picture, the company had him take a step back into feuds with Triple H and Awesome Truth (I refuse to count Kevin Nash). A lot of people were discouraged that Punk was getting shuffled back down the ranks but I choose to look at it in a different way. After the Money in the Bank match in 2011, Punk reached a point where he had no choice but to be a face. This time against Triple H and Awesome Truth was like a molding period to figure exactly the kind of face character Punk would be: a brash, sarcastic but truthful character with a touch of arrogance. Punk elevated himself to be level with Cena in the WWE food chain, which came in handy when Cena had to focus on The Rock, Kane and then Rock again.

That takes us to Survivor Series 2011, the match that started it all. Punk won against Alberto Del Rio in a match that I would label as “solid.” It was the right opponent and the right venue, the MSG crowd would’ve been in Punk’s pocket regardless if he was a face or heel and facing an opponent that posed a big enough threat in that Punk would beat and feel like a big deal. CM Punk hopes a couple barricades, tousled Michelle Beadle’s hair and we could’ve cared less about Rock and Cena facing Awesome Truth.

A few weeks later (and after sparring with Johnny Ace) Punk gave us a great moment at the Slammy Awards. This doesn’t necessarily mean much to the overall legacy of the title reign BUT, we sure does make me giggle.

At TLC, we had Punk’s first PPV title defense in a Triple Threat Ladder Match between himself, The Miz and Alberto Del Rio.There were a LOT of great things about this match and if you ever get a chance, definitely go back and rewatch it. Sure Miz is terrible and Alberto was on the downward spiral but having Punk in the mix makes all the difference. Add in some drama with Punk getting handcuffed to several things and Ricardo’s sick bump that almost turned him into a super hero, and we have a fun match.

I would like to highlight the night after TLC. No, nothing groundbreaking happened but we did get a great opening from Punk where he gave an intro that really let it sink in that he, Daniel Bryan and Zack Ryder were all champions. Then you top that in the main event where those 3 men walk in from the Philly crowd as the IWC squealed their little pants off.

We move into 2012 with Royal Rumble. Punk defended against Dolph Ziggler, a match that a lot of people either overlook or forget about but it’s easily one of my favorite from the year. Sure, the stench of having Johnny Ace present during the match was thick but these two wrestlers put on a hell of a match with a surprisingly clean finish.

January 30th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Nothing monumental happened BUT we got a CM Punk and Daniel Bryan match. This was big because it was the first in a string of Punk vs Bryan matches as Johnny Ace and Teddy used these wrestlers in an attempt to one-up each other in their struggle for power. It worked well because it was a period of time where WWE didn’t quite want to announce who either wrestler would be facing at Mania, so they had a short feud with each other. Also, in this particular match, we saw Jericho’s run-in on Punk so that laid their ground-work.

February 13th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Again, nothing monumental except for the Elimination Chamber debate. Punk was good, Jericho was good, Miz tripped all over his own lines. Even Kofi made us believe for a quick second that he had a chance. However, I threw this in because it gave us R-Truth’s shining achievement of his career when he vowed to trade Dolph for a box of spiders.

Elimination Chamber: Solid match but kinda weird that it was opening the show, especially once the WHC match came down to Bryan and Santino and then the snoozefest of the am-bah-lans (Booker’s words, not mine) match at the end. Furthered Punk and Jericho for Mania so we’re all happy for that.

February 27th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. The first promo between Punk and Jericho which led into another Punk and Bryan match. What’s not to love?

Wrestlemania 28: Punk vs Jericho. Really didn’t need the last minute added stipulation but it led to Jericho holding his head out and begging Punk to hit him with a chair. Easily the best match of the night and should’ve been a contender for match of the year. It was a great straight up-and-down match that had a lot of great, personal build-up and I think as time goes by, we will look back on this match as one of the best in Mania history.

Weeks after Mania: Jericho really loves pouring alcohol over Punk.

Extreme Rules 2012: Punk vs Jericho in a Chicago Street Fight. Personally, I prefer this match rather than their WM28 match because I’m a writer and I foam at the mouth for a good story. This was ultimate personal ending to this feud in Punk’s hometown. This match took the period at the end of this feud and turned it into an exclamation point.

April 30th, 2012: Monday Night Raw: Daniel Bryan wins the Beat The Clock challenge and officially begins his feud with Punk. The internet loses control of their bowels.

May 7th, 2012: Monday Night Raw: Most would say this was a terrible episode of Raw BUT I was in attendance and we saw the return of Paul Heyman…more on that next week.

Over the Limit 2012: Punk vs. Daniel Bryan. What was suppose to be one of the worst PPVs on WWE’s yearly calendar ended up being one of the best, largely due to this match. There really wasn’t too much of a story between the two going into the match and I was really worried that this was going to be a one-time thing. Thankfully, pin-by-accident ending happened and we got even more.

May 21st, 2012: Money Night Raw. Punk presented Kane as Bryan’s opponent which led to their rivalry and that led to Team Friendship…you’re welcome.

May 28th, 2012: Monday Night Raw. Punk was revealed to be on the cover of WWE ’13. I hope Punk got to keep that giant poster.
Also, Punk digs crazy chicks.

June 6th, 2012: Monday Night Raw: Punk called Bryan “Goatface.” Funny at the time but driven into the ground ever since by Lawler. Not everything in Punk’s legacy is gonna be great,

No Way Out 2012: Punk vs Daniel Bryan vs Kane. First off, this match gave us my personal favorite video package of the year. This entire month leading to this match became more and more about AJ’s relationship with all 3 guys so we knew she would have some involvement. There was a lot of story in this match, and I tend to like that but the ending left a little to be desired. Good match, which is pretty rare for a triple threat match but this is the beginning of when we really see great things between Kane and Bryan.

Money in the Bank 2012: Punk vs Daniel Bryan w/AJ as special ref. This was simply a great end to this well-told story. You take the great technical match Punk and Bryan first had at OTL and you add in all the story-telling done at NWO, mix the two together and you get this match. Having AJ leave during the match gave Punk and Bryan the ability to focus only on the technical aspect and when she returned, we pick right back up on the story. Punk and Bryan fighting over the chair while AJ hung back and watched was easily one of my favorite visuals ever. This was probably the most fun matches I have ever witnessed but sadly, it ended the wonderful feud of Punk and Bryan.

July 23rd, 2012: Raw 1000. Big Show interfered with Punk and Cena’s championship match, attacks Cena. Rock’s music hits, Punk leaves the ring. Rock sprints to the ring and goes after Big Show. Rock levels Show and runs the rope for the People’s Elbow, Punk slides in the ring and clotheslines Rock. Rock sells like a fish out of water. CM Punk puts Rock to sleep, walks away. “CM Punk has turned on the WWE Universe.”

To be continued…

Be sure to check the kickstarter for our animated short film “Moon Bear.” Only a few days remain and we still have a ways to go!

Don’t do anything I would do twice,
Chris

The Answer: As of right now (Tuesday) it’s April but by the time you see this, in the words of the great Justin Timberlake, “It’s gonna be May.” All credit goes to Joel Leonard.
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Now, there are good things and we can try and focus on those. We got more Undertaker action that I ever though we would. Ziggler is the World Heavyweight Champion. The Shield remains undefeated and a dominant force in the company. But I still can’t shake the feeling that we are fast headed toward a dark timeline within the next month or so.

And so, in an effort to avoid getting bummed out about the impending months of wrestling, I had myself a bit of a “treat yo self” moment and grabbed the new Mick Foley DVD. So rather than dread the doom and gloom of what could happen in the near future, I’d rather focus on the good stuff that already happened.

I’m sure at some point here, I’ve stated that Mick Foley sits comfortably atop my list of all time favorite Wrestlers. That’s not to say he’s the best in the ring, or really the best at any one aspect of the business really, but he is my personal favorite and because of that whatever small specific complaints I may have about the set later in the column, I can’t help but recommend it. Because, Mick Foley you guys.

First and foremost, we have to talk about the Documentary, the main part of the DVD. Like just about any of these WWE DVDs, the documentary takes us from Foley’s childhood years, through his early wrestling days and on into his time at WWE. (His time with TNA is completely glossed over and never mentioned, but really, that’s to be expected.) As somebody who’s read the first three of Mick Foley’s books there is no real new information, and in fact a lot of stuff is left out, because after all, over fifteen hundred pages of stuff can’t really be crammed into a two hour documentary without a few things getting dropped. However, all the important stuff is there. And there’s even more of it in the bonus stories on the second disc of the blu ray.

One nice moment, is when during the interview, Mick mentions that he had spoken to Vince about hiring an up and coming wrestler named CM Punk (and Samoa Joe, though he didn’t get picked up) It’s an easy thing to say “I saw talent there first” about CM Punk now that he’s one of the biggest names in the company, but the conversation was also mentioned in Foley’s book Hardcore Diaries which was written back when CM Punk was signed, but still in developmental. Much of the documentary plays out in that fashion. For those who have read Foley’s multiple memoirs, the doc serves as sort of a greatest hits, only this time with pictures. Not taking anything away from Foley’s ability to write, but at the end of the day, wrestling is a visual medium and you can write “He threw his opponent off of the cage” in as many different ways as you want, but seeing it happen with still leave the biggest impact.

As we move on to the matches, I do think I have to question some of their match choices, especially those that the decided to leave off. Even though they were discussed fairly thoroughly in the documentary, both his Backlash match with Randy Orton, and his WrestleMania match with Edge were not included in the collection. And yes I know that there are other DVDs I can get where I can see those matches no problem, but this DVD set is billed as the end all be all, all encompassing career reflection of Mick Foley, and while the documentary hits that goal, the match selection doesn’t necessarily do the same. On the documentary Foley stated that his match with Shawn Michaels at Mind Games in 1996 was his favorite match until his one with Randy Orton in 2004. This means that Mick’s personal two favorite matches are not included on this DVD. And that’s a problem. The documentary does a great job of making you want to see both of these matches again, and for someone who may have only bought this Foley set, they can’t just switch discs to watch a match. In fact, speaking of Foley’s personal favorite matches, in 2010, he posted a list on his personal blog of his favorite matches. Of Foley’s top ten, only the famous hell in a cell match makes it on the blu ray.

Not that the matches that were selected aren’t great. A lot of his work with the Rock and Triple H are featured, which if you will recall was some great work. But as I watched that Hell in a Cell match for the umpteenth time, I realized that this was the first time I was seeing the match without any giant obnoxious blurs trying to hide the WWF logo. There are a few more matches that I’d really like to have in a form free from unnecessary blur, now that that’s a possibility, and more than a few of those matches could have gone here.
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What A Lucky Ref

RAW starts with a triple threat match between Big E Langston, Zeb Colter and Ricardo. The winner gets to pick the stipulation for the World Title Match at Extreme Rules. Zeb left the ring and let Big E go after Ricardo. Big E hit a shoulder tackle then a couple of backbreakers. Big E speared Ricardo in the corner. Ricardo jumped out of the way of another and Big E went right into the post. Ricardo and Zeb took turns punching Big E. Zeb and Ricardo had a stare down, allowing Big E to come in and hit a spear on Ricardo. Zeb tried getting involved, but Big E scared him off and Zeb faked a knee injury. Big E hit a belly to belly on Ricardo. Alberto del Rio came in and took out Big E, Dolph took out Del Rio as Swagger clotheslined Dolph and Big E out of the ring. Zeb went to pin Ricardo, but A.J. broke up the count by blocking the ref’s arm from coming down. What a lucky ref. Ricardo rolled up Zeb to pick up the win.

Segment Analysis: That was a different kind of opening. It wasn’t a technical masterpiece by any means, but it was fun and different. ADR gets to pick the stipulation at Extreme Rules. Survey Says: 2.5/5

John Cena came out with 3 Make-A-Wish kids. Nice moment and good job by the fans to not boo them or Cena during the segment.

A Good Match? FROM OUT OF NOWHERE!!!

Randy Orton vs Cody Rhodes. Orton started with a couple of headlock takedowns then an elbow to the face. Orton tossed Cody over the top rope but he pulled himself back up and hit a drop kick. Orton hit a second dropkick. Orton hit an uppercut and then some punches in the corner. Rhodes grabbed Orton and threw him into the corner and went to work with some kicks. Orton blocked a suplex attempt and hit one of his own. Orton hit a knee drop for two. Cody worked his way out of a wrist lock and hit a dropkick. Cody tossed Orton into the corner but he bounced right back and hit a clothesline. Cody rolled to the outside but Orton hit a clothesline out there as well. Cody got out of the middle rope DDT. Orton went for a surprise RKO but Cody countered out of it.

Back from break Cody and Orton exchanged punches on the outside. Cody went back into the ring and hit a Disaster Kick on Orton, sending him to the outside. Cody rolled him back into the ring and got a two count. Cody applied a chinlock that Orton got out of, but he hit the Goldust uppercut. Orton tried fighting back but he ran right into a Cody boot. He hit an elbow to the back of the neck off the top. Cody went to the top again, but Orton crotched him on the turnbuckle. Orton hit a superplex off the top rope for two. Orton went into ORTON MODE where he hit most of his usual offense. He hit the middle rope DDT. Cody countered an RKO attempt and hit Cross Rhodes, but it only got a two. Cody went for a Disaster Kick, but Orton caught him with an RKO for the win.

Matt Striker came in the ring and asked Orton if he was still haunted by Big Show turning on him at Wrestlemania. Orton said he was more focused, then caught Cody Rhodes with an RKO.

Match Analysis: That was a surprisingly good match. Cody hasn’t been getting a lot of time on TV lately so it was nice to see him get a good match with Orton here. Not surprised to see Orton pick up the win here. If Cody had an actual storyline to build on he would have got the win. Nice change of pace match with Cody looking strong in defeat. Survey Says: 3.5/5

Nikki Bella beat Naomi after Twin Magic. But the ref somehow figured out they switched and ruled Naomi the winner via DQ. The Bellas attacked after the match.

3MB vs The Shield? MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA 30!

The Shield came out. Dean Ambrose said they have brought justice to an injustice world. Rollins said they tore down the wall of injustice and not a person who has stood in their way has been able to stop them. They showed pictures of their attacks on various wrestlers. Ambrose said on Smackdown they force fed justice to The Undertaker. He said The Shield bows to no one. They replayed their attack on Undertaker. Ambrose said that when justice strikes, it gets fed without mercy. 3MB randomly came out. Heath Slater said that they had unfinished business. They brawled with The Shield getting the upperhand. Team Hell No came out, but The Shield bailed. Instead Team Hell No took out 3MB.

Segment Analysis: That was a bit of an odd segment. The Shield promo felt a bit forced. 3MB coming out was weird and while it played into what happened a few weeks ago, it just didn’t fit. Odd segment. Survey Says: 2.5/5

Match #3495829845

Kofi vs Dolph, AGAIN! Kofi took Dolph out with a kick then a splash off the middle rope. Dolph applied a headlock. Kofi fought out and hit an elbow. Dolph blocked an SOS attempt but Kofi caught him with his corner kick. Dolph came back with a kick of his own, knocking Kofi off the apron. Back from break Dolph had a chinlock applied. Kofi fought out of it, but Dolph tossed him into the corner and hit an elbow. Dolph hit a neckbreaker. but he missed a splash in the corner. Kofi started a comeback with some kicks then a dropkick and a jumping clothesline. Kofi hit the Boom Drop, but Dolph ducked Trouble in Paradise and hit DDT for two. Kofi hit the SOS for two. He hit Trouble in Paradise, but A.J. put Dolph’s foot on the ropes. Big E tried reviving Dolph, but Kofi took him out on the outside. Kofi hit a crossbody off the top for two. A.J. distracted the ref, Kofi knocked Big E off the apron. They exchanged near falls. Kofi catapulted Dolph into the corner. He went to the top, but Dolph moved and then hit the ZigZag for the win.

Big E hit his finisher twice on Kofi after the match.

Match Analysis: Nothing that we haven’t seen before, but it was still an entertaining match. Can’t complain about whenever these two are in the ring, it is just that you would like to see them face different opponents every once in a while. Survey Says: 3/5

Kaitlyn and A.J. exchanged words backstage. Kaitlyn then got a hat from a secret admirer. Oh great, one of these storylines…

A HHH/Brock Lesnar video package aired.

Ryback said John Cena has left him alone to face The Shield for the last time. Vickie said it would be Rybacl and Team Hell No vs The Shield. Ryback said been there, done that and he didn’t trust them.

Jack Swagger defeated Zack Ryder. Ryder got some offense in and attempted a comeback, but Swagger hit a gut wrench powerbomb then won with the Patriot Lock.

Is This RAW or Summer Camp?

Mark Henry came out and asked for two opponents. Tensai came out and Henry beat him in a Tug of War. He then beat Brodus Clay. Sheamus came out and challenged Henry to a tug of war. Henry said no, so Sheamus asked if he was afraid. Henry changed his tune and told him to bring it on. Henry almost had it won, but Sheamus let go of the rope and Henry fell. Sheamus then hit a Brogue Kick on Henry.

Segment Analysis: That was, well, I don’t know. Just seemed unnecessary. Survey Says: 1.5/5

Team Hell No told Vickie and Brad Maddox they still wanted a match against The Shield. She agreed to it. Vickie told Brad there was one more thing she needed him to do. Back from break, John Cena told Brad Maddox he was fighting tonight no matter what.

Jobberville’s Newest Member: Antonio Cesaro

Alberto del Rio vs Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro hit a suplex. Del Rio caught Cesaro in the corner with a kick to the arm. Cesaro fought out of an armbar by biting Del Rio, then applied an armbar of his own. Del Rio got out of it with a jawbreaker, then a hurricarrana. Del Rio hit some kidney punches then a back stabber. Cesaro escaped a cross armbreaker attempy by bailing to the outside. Cesaro had a chinlock applied back from break. Cesaro hit a gut wrench slam than a European uppercut in the corner for two. Del Rio tried fighting out of a back drop but Cesaro still connected on it. Del Rio caught Cesaro with a kick to the face and he started his comeback with some kicks then a tilt-a-whirl back breaker. Del Rio hit a suplex for two. He went to the top, but Cesaro caught him with an uppercut but only got a two count. Del Rio moved out of the way of a Cesaro charge and Cesaro went right into the ringpost. Del Rio hit a kick to the head for two. Cesaro countered a cross armbreaker attempt into a pinfall for two, but Del Rio went right into the cross armbreaker again for the win.

After the match, Del Rio chose a Ladder Match for the stipulation for the World Title match at Extreme Rules.

Match Analysis: Another strong match. I still prefered Orton/Rhodes but this one was solid as well. It sucks to see Cesaro getting pushed down the card like this, the guy deserves better. I like the Ladder match stipulation at Extreme Rules. Should be a good match. Survey Says: 3/5

Great Khali defeated Fandango via fan vote in a dance off. Fandango attacked after the match and hit his top rope leg drop.

Cena, Selling An Injury???

Main event time. Kane and Ambrose started with Kane hitting a suplex then an uppercut. Ambrose made a quick tag to Reigns who ate a clothesline then elbow from Kane. Rollins came in but ate a boot from Kane. Kane landed some punches in the corner. The ref tired breaking it up but Kane grabbed him and Cena tagged himself in. He hit a couple moves but aggrevated his bad leg so Bryan tagged himself in. Ambrose came in but Bryan hit some knees to the back. Kane hit a boot to the face, Bryan came back in and hit a corner dropkick then some more kicks. Kane missed his top rope clothesline and they started to take control into commercial. Back from break Bryan fought out of a submission hold but Ambrose took him out with an axe handle. Bryan tried fighting back but Rollins caught him with an enziguri kick. Reigns applied a headlock then connected on a Samoan Drop for two. Reigns charged at Bryan but Bryan ducked and Reigns went flying over the top.

Bryan tagged in Kane. He threw Rollins over the top and hit his clothesline off the top on Ambrose. Kane started taking apart the announce table, but Ambrose caught him with a DDT on the floor. Kane beat the ten count in, but Ambrose went right back to work. Kane hit a chokeslam on Ambrose after he mimicked the Undertaker then tagged in Cena. He went into CENA MODE!!! He caught Rollins off the top rope and went for an AA, but Cena’s injured Achilles bothered him. Reigns hit the Spear and The Shield picked up the win.

Ryback came out after the match and watched on from the stage.

Match Analysis: Once again, another strong match from The Shield and on this RAW. The WWE is doing a good job selling Cena’s injury and getting the crowd to believe that Ryback has every advantage heading into their Extreme Rules match. It is still likely we get The Shield vs Team Hell No for the Tag Titles, although they could just do the six man tag again if Taker wrestles. Every member of The Shield has their own unique traits in the ring that they all stand out on their own. Good showing from all parties involved to end the show. Survey Says: 4/5

OVERALL

That was a pretty decent episode of RAW. The highlights of the show? The FOUR good matches that were on it. Sure Cody Rhodes or Antonio Cesaro could have used the win, but they still put out impressive performances. Especially Rhodes, who I am surprised got so much time in the ring with Orton. The opening tripe threat was unique and fun for what it was. I wasn’t a fan of the tug of war segment, or the dance off for that matter. The Shield continues to look like they will be a strong focus of RAW in the months moving forward as the WWE will probably look for them to take control of the”CM Punk Audience” who will miss his presence on the show. Some solid wrestling and not too much filler, I’m going to be nice and give this show a 7.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
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CB’s Slant: Make no mistake about it, Dean Ambrose holding his own against Taker in his first high-profile one-on-one match is absolutely huge in terms of sustaining backstage confidence in the group. After all, if you can go with Taker in the ring and he gives his seal of approval, it can do wonders for your career in WWE. Just ask CM Punk, who was in a similar position a few years back during his first feud with the Deadman.

Then, after the match — which Ambrose lost via submission to the Hell’s Gate — The Shield did exactly what they should have done and simply beat down Taker in a three-on-one attack that included an awesome SPEAR by Roman Reigns through the barricade and ended with The Shield’s patented Triple Power Bomb on the Deadman through the announcer’s table. Dean Ambrose may have lost the match, but as a unit The Shield were the clear winners as SmackDown faded to black.

This was the perfect write-off for Taker — who can now rest up until WrestleMania season next year (or perhaps come back around SummerSlam if he chooses to do so) — and the ultimate launching pad for The Shield for the rest of this year.

If you didn’t already, it’s time to believe in The Shield, and I have a feeling that any remaining skepticism backstage has now been alleviated … with a little bit of help from The Undertaker.

That’s all from me — CB.

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Now, in my opinion, the Ryback turn was not too bad. What he said in what was probably the best promo he has cut in the WWE made sense – he was there for Cena but it wasn’t reciprocated. Cool. I get that. The problem is: it came a little bit out of the blue, and it’s Ryback doing the turning, who we as an audience really haven’t become emotionally invested in. Hell, half the audiences still chant, “Goldberg!” at him whenever he wrestles.

So, what were some of the best turns in wrestling, heel and face? I’ve watched WWF/E for a number of years, a little bit of AWA, a fair whack of TNA, and more than was probably healthy of WCW, as well as a lot of the local stuff and bits and pieces elsewhere, so if your favourite turn isn’t in here, then I may not have seen it.

Worth mentioning:

Bret Hart – my problem with the Bret Hart turn was not that he turned heel or that Austin turned face at the same time (though he really became a tweener, not a full-blown face), it was that the turn was not complete. Some have said – and I sort of agree – that it was really well done in that it changed his character. But he only actually turned heel in the USA. In Canada it solidified him as a complete hero. In Australia we agreed with what he was saying as well, so we treated him like we always had. It was only a half-turn. It was unique, but it wasn’t really a turn.

Andy “Voodoo” Roy – from my local promotion of RCW. His turn was done slowly, building up over a long time, but it was sort of foreshadowed when his girlfriend turned heel. But the way he turned on his best friend Chris ‘Mimic’ Basso after teasing it for so long, and them being so good together, and Mimic not believing that he could do it, was done just brilliantly, especially for a promotion that puts on a show a month.

Now to my list.

Number 5: Batista. Batista and Rey Mysterio were buddies. They tagged together, but they were thrown into a 4-way match where they were opponents. Rey cost Batista the victory and the title. Batista in return killed him. I liked the intensity Batista brought to his heel role at this point, and thought he had some of the best matches of his career as a result. Now, I know this one is going to get a lot of negativity, but I liked it, especially when he got the chair and instead of hitting Rey just sat on it and talked to him.

Number 4: Andre the Giant. It started innocuously enough – Andre got a trophy for being so damn dominant in the ring for so long, and Hulk Hogan was there to congratulate him. The next week, Hogan got a bigger trophy for being champ for a while (though not even close to Sammartino or Backlund). Andre got a little bit jealous. Then, on Piper’s Pit he asked for a title shot. Hogan cited friendship as a reason not to. Andre went and got Bobby Heenan to manage him, and the rest, as they say, is history. Little rushed, especially for the time, but still well done.

Number 3: Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer was hated by the Philly crowds. They loved to see him get beat up and lose. He was a pretty boy and played it up. One of those narcissistic heels wrestling loves so much. Then he had a match with the Sandman where the loser had to be beaten with a Singapore cane by the winner. Dreamer lost. But then, after the mandatory number of strikes (10? 15? I can’t remember… Wikipedia tells me it was 10, so take that for what it’s worth), Dreamer muttered those words that made him a legend: “Thank-you, sir, may I have another?” He got it. And he asked again. With that one repeated request he went from heel to legend who could take a beating and ask for more. He – and ECW – never looked back.

Number 2: Hulk Hogan. Bash at the Beach was set up. Three of WCW’s finest against Kevin Nash and Scott Hall and their mystery partner. The WCW guys were stuck when Luger was knocked out before getting to the ring. Hall and Nash were dominating. Sting was on the outside and Savage was at their mercy. Then out ran Hulk Hogan. He chased off Hall and Nash… and then dropped the leg on Savage. Yes, it came out of the blue, but it reinvigorated a stale character and arguably led to one of the biggest changes in the wrestling landscape – the coming of the nWo and the era of a cool heel and WCW domination of wrestling.

Number 1: Randy Savage. He was a heel when he entered WWF. But, because of his sheer skill and the attractiveness of Miss Elizabeth, his manager, crowds were cheering him. And then came Wrestlemania 4 and his title win in the tournament. Hulk Hogan was there to help him, the crowd cheered him even more, and the Megapowers were born. Over the course of the next six months they faced all challengers, alone and together, but always had one another’s back. However, Savage became increasingly paranoid about Hogan and Miss Elizabeth until Savage started to keep an eye on Hogan. Then he accused Hogan of wanting Liz for himself, as finally evidenced by the tag match where Liz was injured and Hogan walked out on Savage to take her to the back. Afterwards, Savage attacked Hulk. So we came to Wrestlemania 5 and it was a newly heel champion Savage against Hogan. Hogan won and Savage lost his mind. But he did win King of the Ring and Macho King gained Queen Sherri as his new consort. But he was still losing it more and more until, at Wrestlemania 6, he and Sherri faced the everyman Dusty Rhodes with Sapphire… and Miss Elizabeth. But Savage wanted to be on top, and so he cost the new WWF champion, the Ultimate Warrior, his title. So we come to Wrestlemania 7 and the career match, Warrior v Savage. After my favourite ever Wrestlemania match, Warrior won and he left the ring. Sherri attacked Savage for being a loser. He had lost literally everything. But Miss Elizabeth jumped out of the crowd to make the save and Savage accepted her and he was the face again. (It’s the Star Wars – Anakin Skywalker story. Seriously. From Attack of the Clones through to Return of the Jedi.) The greatest turn/s in wrestling, done by one man, back and forth, but it all meant something and did not come out of nowhere.

Okay, so how did I mess up this week? Agree? Disagree? See something I haven’t? (I never saw WCCW, so the Freebirds-Von Erichs turn was something I only saw on Triumph and Tragedy of WCCW on DVD. I also never saw the Windham heel turn. I understand they are also great. That’s the sort of thing I want to hear about.)

And that’s another view done.

 
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CM Punk is different from any wrestler currently in the WWE today. He isn’t the star jock, or the big bad bully. He’s the loner. The guy who sticks to his guns and isn’t afraid to speak his mind. When CM Punk picks up a microphone, you feel like you aren’t watching a wrestling character speak, but rather the man portraying a character speaking. CM Punk may have more passion for wrestling than any other wrestler on the planet today. He cares about his performance in the ring. Night in and night out, he’s the one guy you can trust to give it his all and know that when he leaves the ring, he left it all in there. There’s a cult like following that CM Punk has. Whether he is being portrayed as a good guy or a bad guy on TV, his fans are loyal to him. You don’t see that often with wrestlers. While wrestlers turn heel or turn face and fans boo or cheer accordingly, CM Punk’s fans stick with him through it all. Sure, a lot of those fans are the 18-34 male demographic that are reading this article right now. But the fact that stick by his side is a testament to the amount of respect that they have for the wrestler CM Punk. They believe in CM Punk and hang on his every word and move. Despite the constant mocking of the WWE Universe, you know that CM Punk has a tremendous amount of respect for the people that stand by him. Whether they have been a fan since his Ring of Honor days ot just started becoming a fan during his run in the WWE, most fans have stuck with him and haven’t turned away. I even know of a lot of kids that cheered Punk when he was a face and stuck with him after his recent heel turn. So it just isn’t that male fan base sticking by Punk’s side.

We all know the struggles that CM Punk went through early on in his WWE career. The powers that be didn’t really know what to do with him. Then he won the Money in the Bank contract two years in a row. He became a World Champion and then leader of one of the best stables in recent memory, the Straight Edge Society. A lot of people might call that the best work of CM Punk’s WWE career, and it would be hard to argue that point. But once the stable disbanded, Punk struggled to get back to the top. Rumors started circulating in early 2011 that CM Punk wasn’t happy and was considering leaving the WWE. Then came in the infamous “Pipe Bomb Promo” that took the WWE by storm, and launched CM Punk into the star that he became today.

And this is the focus of this piece. CM Punk has done a lot throughout his career in pro wrestling. But some of the work he has done since that promo has been tremendous. In fact, a lot of the work that CM Punk has done has been the only watchable stuff that the WWE has put on TV during that time. It all started with the Money in the Bank PPV in 2011, one of the best “B” show PPVs that the WWE has ever put on. CM Punk and John Cena put on a five star classic in the ring in a match made even better by the Chicago crowd. One of the best matches that I’ve seen in the last ten years. It’s a debate that I got into with fellow podcast host Matt Harrak a while back, but I still maintain that CM Punk is John Cena’s greatest rival during his WWE career. They are just polar opposites of each other. Punk is the outcast, Cena is the all star. Their styles are different but they mesh so well together. Punk has gotten some of the best promos out of Cena. They’ve never had a dull storyline or match, and they always have me watching when they are on TV together. Their matches at Money in the Bank and SummerSlam were great. Punk went on to have a strong program with HHH and despite losing a bit of steam, won the WWE Title again at Survivor Series, where the NYC Crowd made the moment even more special.

When a wrestler wins the WWE Championship, they are usually considered the top guy in the company. They main event shows and are often considered the top star. But that wasn’t the case with CM Punk. Despite being WWE Champion, Punk often played second fiddle to John Cena. A problem that he was all to used to throughout his career. Punk didn’t main event Wrestlemania, John Cena and The Rock did. John Freakin Laurinaitis main evented a PPV over Punk. Punk was the WWE Champion, but he wasn’t treated like it. But Punk was still putting on the best match night in and night out. He had the match of the night at Wrestlemania and Extreme Rules with Chris Jericho, as well as at Over the Limit and Money in the Bank with Daniel Bryan. He made a love triangle storyline with him, Bryan and A.J. work. Punk may not have given the top billing and storylines, but he busted his ass to make them work. It shows Punk’s committment and dedication to make the best out of what is given to him. He did the same thing when he turned heel and had to feud with Ryback. Despite Ryback’s limitations, Punk made everything about that feud watchable. It was great to see Punk hold the WWE Title for a full year. A rarity nowadays. But he deserved it and deserved to enjoy every minute of it.

After all of this, CM Punk was ready for his greatest challenge as WWE Champion. At the Royal Rumble, CM Punk was going one on one with The Rock. It was the biggest match in Punk’s career. It was time to see if Punk was ready to go toe to toe with one of the best promo men this business has ever seen. And he did a damn fine job. When you listened to Punk in his first promo exchange with The Rock, you felt a little something extra behind it. More confidence. Punk truly believed he was a bigger star than The Rock. I would have loved to see Punk go over at the Rumble. For what he did for the WWE in 2012, the guy deserved a win. Even if it was through interference. But instead, The Rock went over twice and it kind of hurt CM Punk. He lost a little bit of his luster by not beating The Rock, and then he lost even more after losing to John Cena on RAW.

CM Punk was frustrated that he wasn’t in the main event of Wrestlemania. And he had every right to be. For someone to be WWE Champ for over a year and not get a chance to be in the last match at Wrestlemania just seems wrong. Did it have to be a Triple Threat Match? No. But they could have done John Cena/CM Punk for the WWE Title, and Rock/Brock as a double main event. But CM Punk still got a big match with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Some people consider that the most important match on the Wrestlemania card nowadays. There were reports that Punk was upset and just “going through the motions” in his feud with Taker. And if he was, you couldn’t tell. CM Punk made that feud the best program going into Wrestlemania. It was once again a case of Punk being given something and making it great, which might possibly be the best thing about him as a wrestler. They had the match of the night at Wrestlemania. They had the crowd in the palms of their hands through the whole match. As I said, CM Punk has some die hard fans, and even they felt it was something special to see him wrestle The Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

So, what has been the point of this little trip down memory lane? Simple: Without CM Punk, the WWE would be barely watchable. Sure they have some younger mid card guys that are interesting and have potential. But CM Punk is the guy that gets everybody talking. Whenever CM Punk is on TV, he has your attention. Similar to Shawn Michaels, whether you love him or you hate him, you respect him for what he does for the business. The one thing you have to admire about CM Punk is that he isn’t afraid to stand up for what he believes is right. If you watched his DVD, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If he doesn’t like something, he isn’t afraid to go to Vince McMahon and Creative and let him know. A lot of fans get behind CM Punk because of that. Despite his character’s constant bashing of the WWE Universe, the man CM Punk knows exactly what they want and gives it to them every week. Look back on every RAW from the last year. CM Punk consistently has the best segments. Whether it is a promo or a match, you can always count on CM Punk keeping thins entertaining.

I shutter to think of a WWE without CM Punk. When Punk said that he was just a spoke on the wheel of the WWE and the wheel would keep on turning, he may have been right. But if Punk leaves that bike gets downgraded drastically. People have their certain favorite wrestlers that they tend to follow more. But I believe CM Punk is the one guy that grabs the attention of everyone in the WWE Universe. Lots of people are sick of John Cena. Some fans don’t care for Ryback. Randy Orton and Sheamus are beginning to be thought of as after thoughts. But CM Punk is the guy that gets the attention of every fan: young kids, male adults, women. All fo them. Go to a WWE show nowadays and you seen fans of all ages wearing his merchandise. If Punk were to leave the WWE, his void would never be filled. Sure we have The Shield and Dolph Ziggler to fall back on. But despite the potential of all of them, they would never fill the shoes of CM Punk. He’s become a huge player in the WWE. He’s the #2 star in the WWE behind John Cena. You can’t fill that void just like that.

The WWE did a good job of setting up CM Punk for a huge return when he does come back. They tried to gain some sympathy for him. Punk feels like he let his fans down by not beating The Rock, John Cena or The Undertaker in the last few months. His return has the possibility of being a pretty big one. If you turn Punk face, you can build up his story throughout the summer and fall. Punk deserves to main event Wrestlemania next year. I would hold off on Punk winning the WWE Title. I still think they dropped the ball big time on the HHH/CM Punk program in 2011. I would have no problem re-visiting it, but with HHH as the corporate heel. Even give Triple H the WWE Title. Have Punk win the Rumble, and your WWE Championship match is set.

Shawn Michaels is my favorite wrestler of all time. When he retired, I was looking for someone new to take his spot on current TV. CM Punk was that guy. When he gives his promos they don’t seem forced. You feel like you are watching a guy speak his mind and not reading from a script. And CM Punk can tell a great story in the ring. He’s the WWE’s best all around performer they have. He plays a great heel, he plays a great face that isn’t like the typical WWE good guy you see nowadays. He can tweak or adjust his gimmick and doesn’t miss a beat.

CM Punk is getting some time off now and he deserves it. He’s carried the WWE for the better part of the last two years. While he may not have gotten a lot of appreciation for it from the higher ups in the WWE, he definitely got it from the fans of the WWE. We witnessed something special the last two years. We saw the rise of a wrestler that has deserved to be a consistent main event player for quite some time. CM Punk’s personality finally broke out from the pack and it got him over huge with the WWE Universe. Whether you love him or you hate him, you can’t deny that CM Punk had your attention throughout the last two years. He calls himself “The Best In The World,” and it is hard to argue it at this point.

Thank You CM Punk for giving us everything you had the last two years. We appreciate everything you done. You have our respect, and we can’t wait to see what you have planned for us when you come back.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
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I sat down to write this and decided I would try really hard not to be negative. It seems like a lot of my columns are basically me bitching about how awesome things used to be and how things suck now. I’m smart enough to realize I might just be forgetting a lot of the crap that I overlooked as a youngster and just let it fade away over time. I also realize that at this point, and I think someone brought this up right after Wrestlemania, I’m not really the target audience for the WWE right now. They are, here in the post-Attitude Era — actually the post-post-Attitude Era – looking for a younger demographic and hoping that their parents see enough of something they can get into to keep watching the shows and going to live events and such. And that’s fine. I guess it’s working. I bought the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania, took my kids to the FedEx Forum in Memphis for a WWE house show last year, and got them a World Heavyweight Championship belt to fight over (I’m a three time champion myself now, by the way).

And, hey, if you really want to still see some of that “Attitude” (that is, more mature) content, TNA really doesn’t do a terrible job at it. It’s sort of like a cross between late 90s WWF and 2000 WCW or something.

This appears very much to be a transitional period in the WWE. While John Cena is still the top guy, as I’ve said before, it’s really by default more than anything else. And let’s face it, Cena’s not an old broken down man or anything, but I think he is on the backside of his career, even if it’s early in that backside. And he’s had a good run. He debuted as a regular old clean-cut wrestler, morphed into the “Doctor of Thuganomics,” who was basically a heel. That persona led directly to “The Champ,” who was super-duper, red-hot over as the top dog, every bit as important to the company as Hogan and Austin were in their time, before “Super-Cena” just, unfortunately, got stale in the eyes of every fan.
And just like when Hogan and Austin began to reach the end of their runs, it’s time to figure out the next guy. There was a recent article up on Pulse Wrestling looking at all of the youngsters with the potential to be “that guy.” (Sorry, I suck at linking, or whatever it’s called. Internets are hard for old people like me). I’d like to take a look at a similar premise, but do it in more of an evaluation sort of way.

You see, at my church, we have a non-competitive (boo, right?) sports league for the little kids called Upward. They do basketball and soccer and flag football, and anyway, to make the games and teams as even as possible, before the season starts all of the kids are evaluated and ranked based on a set of skills drills, then they are matched up with someone of equal ability during the games. I’m going to tweak it a bit and apply it to the WWE roster.

I’m looking at things like future potential, ability in the ring, mic skills, personality and character development, connection with the fans, marketability, and corporate appeal (that last one is especially important, since none of the other things matter if you don’t have it).

So, with all that, here is what I am calling the WWE Upward Power Rankings (in reverse order, for suspense, you know)…

10) Cody Rhodes – Look, for some reason a lot of folks are down on Cody, but he’s very, very solid in the ring, and can deliver on the mic just on facial expressions and exasperation. He’s the Squidward of the WWE if you watch Spongebob Squarepants (which I do). I thought after his big feud with Rey Mysterio a couple of years ago, he was ready to make the leap up to the main event. I still say if he could save Goldust from some kind of beatdown, he’d make a great move into being a face. Unfortunately, he’s seen as more of a joke paired with Damian Sandow and feuding with the Funky Bunch.

9) Damian Sandow – He’s got to get away from Cody, like, yesterday. He was onto something with his “search for an apprentice” thing, sort of like Ted DiBiase bringing people into the ring for unwinnable challenges. People love to boo the smart asshole who thinks he’s better than you. The place where they got it right with DiBiase and are getting it wrong with Sandow, is that Ted won, a lot. Sandow talks big, but then loses in the ring. He’s still got time to put it all together. He’s got to be booked stronger, though, outsmarting the faces and proving he really in crafty and smart and all that. The, when he loses it will be a big deal. Right now, it’s expected.

8) Antonio Cesaro – That a guy like Cesaro is being misused as badly as he is just makes me sad. His strong, stiff style reminds me of William Regal in a way that Wade Barrett wishes he could. His finisher is impressive and I love the very European uppercut. Word is that Vince is unimpressed, which is a shame. Cesaro is certainly still salvageable, but the yodeling thing is just stupid, as in “Farting Nattie Neidhart” stupid. Cesaro is like a badass Jason Statham kind of guy. Let him be that. Let him just beat the living crap out of guys, work his way up to a big title match with Cena and let him stay around the upper card. Strong heels are just few and far between in the WWE.

7) Roman Reigns – I have to say, the WWE has done nothing wrong with The Shield, with the possible exception of their build toward the six-man at Wrestlemania and the confusion over who would actually be in the match with them. Their involvement with the Undertaker is another step in the right direction. I’m singling Reigns out here, because he seems like the first guy who will be featured in singles matches, while Ambrose and Rollins will probably tag for a while. Reigns has the breakout potential to be the next Batista or Goldberg (sorry, Ryback).

6) Zack Ryder – Give me crap for ranking him so high, when the WWE seems to forget that he actually works for them from time to time. What Ryder was able to accomplish last year, going from Most Likely to be Wished Best of Luck with Their Future Endeavors to a red-hot Internet-fueled sensation, pretty much with zero corporate support shows me that he will eventually get back in the mix and get a real push. The over-the-top Jersey Shore gimmick will need to be tones down, maybe into more of a Rob Van Dam-type of persona. Maybe even a heel turn? Like a lot of these guys, just let him win a match or two to give him some credibility.

5) Bray Wyatt – Husky Harris is dead. In his place is Wyatt and his “family,” who have been really entertaining on NXT in several clips I have watched on YouTube. These guys are awesome and Wyatt has the goods. With the current Deep South Duck Dynasty/Swamp People/Lizard Lick craze currently sweeping the nation, now is the time to bring these creepy guys up to the main roster and turn them loose, Moondogs in Memphis style. I don’t know if we’re talking top of the card or anything, but it would be entertaining to see the Wyatt Clan run wild on Raw. Plus I like stables. Keep it small, maybe three or four guys and we’re good.

4) Bo Dallas – I know he’s a Rotunda, but I just see Ricky Steamboat when I look at the guy. For someone who hasn’t been on TV much, he’s ranked pretty high, but I think he’s got Steamboat’s universal “face” appeal written all over his, umm, face. I mean, clean-cut, baby-faced, handsome “good guy” all the way. I honestly haven’t seen him wrestle that much, but I like the clean, old-school running power-slam finisher. If Steamboat doesn’t do it for you, maybe Sting? Is it time to bring back face paint? Maybe not, but Bo’s got the pedigree to have a nice long career, but he’s going to need a character in this day and age. Pure talent just won’t get it. But he’s so young, the sky really is the limit on him.

3) Ryback – You can not ignore how quickly and easily Ryback moved up the ladder. Yes it helps that, as someone on the site put it recently (again, I can’t link), Ryback is exactly what an 8-year-old boy imagines when he’s told to picture a professional wrestler in his head. He’s already had a few WWE title matches and now he’s being programmed with Cena. I say, give him a short reign. Why not? Cena can get it back quick. Maybe they can have a series of matches spanning a few pay-per-views ala Flair and Steamboat back in the day. Have we really seen Ryback’s move-set? He’s shown he can talk, too. I know this is shallow to say so, but if he’s going to be “the man” he’s going to have to get his teeth fixed.

2) Dolph Ziggler – He’s the World Heavyweight Champion (finally), so this can’t be much of a surprise. There are literally no holes in his portfolio. He has every bit of potential to be this generation’s Ric Flair. If he’s handled properly (and that’s a big if, I know), he’s got a solid 10 years at the top of the card left in him. He’s the cool heel of the current era. He’s got to be a credible champion, though, and not a coward, which seems to be the only heel personality the WWE seems to like, but Ziggler and AJ could be the new Savage/Elizabeth. Throw in a dose of Curt Hennig. There I’ve compared him to The Nature Boy, the Macho Man and Mr. Perfect. I believe in Dolph Ziggler.

1) Daniel Bryan – Were he six inches taller, he’d be the new Shawn Michaels. But, even with his smaller stature, he has gotten over on talent and personality, and in this era of trying to avoid anything that might be steroid-related and a tendency toward a more MMA-style of performing (that is, the acceptance that size isn’t as important as ability), the smaller guys are getting a real chance akin to the shift from the Hogans, Warriors, and Yokozunas of the business to guys like Hart, Michaels, and Hennig. Bryan was more over as a face during his heel World Title run than three-quarters of the actual faces. Now that he seems pretty much on the face side, I hope he gets another run with the title sooner rather than later. Maybe a Rumble win after a bell-to-bell run or something. One more real chance to shine (maybe Money in the Bank?) and I think you can put DB at the top of the card for years to come.

Well, there you go. I could easily have included the other two members of The Shield, maybe Kofi Kingston or the Miz. R-Truth or Wade Barrett as well. There are also the already established guys like Orton, Sheamus, and of course, CM Punk, but I think the real future of the WWE is in that list I just presented. I’m still not sold on Fandango, but hey I’ll stand corrected if he can prove me wrong. Big E Langston just doesn’t do it for me either. And I’m sure there are some NXT guys just waiting for an opportunity.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Let me leave you, though, with Bray Wyatt in action.

Feel free to agree with me (or nor) in the comments.

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All the things that SHOULD be happening on Monday nights…and yet, they’re not.

Compelling television has not been the WWE’s strong suit these days. I’m convinced that if you loaded up an entire episode of Raw with the company’s renowned video hype packages, you’d do more to sell a PPV in one night than you ever could in 5 weeks. Unfortunately, that’s because those seamless videos are the product of a month’s worth of bullshit trimmed down to 2 minutes a pop.

The WWE almost had something somewhat interesting going for them a few months ago in the form of Ryback. Sure, he was a cookie-cutter character, the unstoppable hoss, with limited mobility and in-ring prowess…but a lot of the paying crowd was getting behind his push. Chants of “Feed me more!” filled the arena night after night (and let’s not forget “Goldberg” as well), but something unexpected derailed that momentum.

John Cena got injured.

The WWE was put in a difficult position at Hell in a Cell, and they opted to put Ryback in the title scene against CM Punk. The timing couldn’t have been worse, because Ryback was undefeated and Punk was on a roll as an unbeatable champion. One of the two had to lose, and with the bout being a cage match, there was no way Ryback could win via DQ and still keep his streak intact; they certainly weren’t going to interrupt Punk’s soon-to-be-historic title reign for a pinch hitter. And so, Punk won in controversial fashion and Ryback’s winning streak ended.

However, the circumstances warranted a rematch and so it was that Ryback received another opportunity…but The Shield’s debut once again further de-pushed Ryback. Week after week, The Shield would take out Ryback and eventually cost him another title opportunity in a TLC match. In order to continue the momentum of The Shield, they were built to be a perfect unit, mostly at the expense of Ryback. As of this writing, The Shield remains undefeated and Ryback has yet to earn some semblance of revenge.

Fast forward to three weeks ago when Ryback attacked John Cena without provocation, and you’ll soon understand why his heel turn is pointless and only further diminishes the impact of his current feud with Cena.

Ryback’s explanation was that Cena turned his back on him and now it was Ryback’s time to shine. This explanation is so out of left field that his character has done a complete 180 in terms of development. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Ryback the guy who could handily defeat two wrestlers at a time without breaking a sweat? The guy who would no-sell in ways that would make Jim Hellwig jealous? The guy who would take on The Shield in 3-on-1 situations and NEVER ask for help or complain?

The length of time between Wrestlemania and Extreme Rules is long enough to warrant a tournament of some kind to crown a new number one contender. Even at the expense of a hastily-thrown-together rewrite of the script following The Rock’s sudden departure, there’s no excuse as to why this didn’t occur. Ryback could have won the tournament to regain some much-needed momentum. Instead, the WWE went to the well they’ve so often abused: turn Ryback into a bad guy so we can have a stereotypical face/heel dynamic.

Does he have a legitimate gripe about Cena neglecting his duties as a buddy? Maybe. But when you really think about it, since when is that a reason to attack the WWE Champion from behind? There’s just no thought or real logic in any of this, which is a shame; had the company done this right, we could have had an interesting face vs face match at Extreme Rules instead of this force-fed “You have to boo me now” crap.

On top of that, the only thing that would make this successful in my eyes would be if Ryback does manage to dethrone Cena in May. However, with Cena having spent over a year trying to become WWE Champion again, I highly doubt he’ll lose the belt so soon. Unfortunately for Ryback, that means his losing streak must continue and he’ll be known as a perennial choke artist instead of the dominant machine he was originally booked as.

Inconceivable!

So long, and thanks for all the fish.
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But all is not lost because here’s a few things to consider that might help kill time before this alleged Summer Slam they speak of.

The Shield is as hot as ever, we don’t even notice that they hop from one feud to another for absolutely no reason. And why do we give them this pass? Because they’ve yet to screw up or be screwed up by creative, a feat that should be applauded from the top of any and every mountain. How long will it take for somebody behind the scenes to ruin this amazing run? Stay tuned this summer!

We might get MORE Undertaker? Sure the last time he was a roster regular was yet another stint against a mask-less, big baby Kane that went stale quick (never did explain why Nexus helped Kane in that buried alive match) and looked really bad at WM27. However, it’s been 3 years and he showed a lot of energy in the tag match on Raw. Sure it might be asking a lot of him to be in a one-on-one match every single week but if we get him involved in A match in most of the summer PPV’s, consider us spoiled.

The break up of Team Friendship is inevitable and that might not be a thing to be celebrated in itself but I’m more excited about what might happen after said break up. Daniel Bryan and Kane have the best chemistry we’ve seen in a while and yes, tag team break ups are completely played out and overdone but I am excited to see a match between these two. And besides, this will free up Daniel Bryan to get back to singles wrestling and, inevitably, back into the championship picture and I dare anyone to be bummed about that.

Will WWE actually build Fandango any more or will they just ride the NJ crowd phenomenon all the way into the ground? MORE TO COME!

I’m intrigued (a word I can never remember how to spell) by this new heel Ryback. With Punk taking a vacation, the company needed that top heel for Cena and I can’t honestly think of any top level heel that would’ve been able to fill that role. So what makes sense? Take the other face that gets a Cena-like reception from kids and meat-heads and make people boo him. Yes, it’s an interesting story of a guy on the rise that gets overshadowed by Cena, it’s a story we’ve seen played out on internet articles for the past ten years and Ryback had some good moments in his conversation with Mick Foley. However, somebody needs to explain to Ryback what constitutes as a “zinger” line or at least make him conscious of the tone he creates. Here’s exhibit A from a moment before
Wrestlemania where Ryback throws Santino onto Mark Henry and yells “I didn’t touch you, stupid.” The tone he created in that moment is that of the kid in the neighborhood nobody wanted to play with but had to because your mom made you. And then there’s exhibit B from last night’s Raw. I had to watch Raw muted and actually read the closed caption transcript, so I’m not exactly sure how this moment came across to everyone else. Essentially Mick Foley was making his point and it came time for Ryback to respond, he did so by repeating “Shut up, Foley.” Just reading the closed captioning, it across as a child being picked on a little too much and was about to burst into tears, as a former weak, sickly child…I know the signs. So either one or two things will happen this summer, we will get a new childish response out of Ryback that we can all laugh at or WWE actually builds a compelling heel. Honestly, I’m okay with both.

There’s a possibility lower talent will get somewhat of a change, push or actual camera time. That’s something, right?

We’ve got Jericho at least for a little while longer.

Finally, Ziggler is the World Heavyweight Champion so you have nothing to complain about.

Be sure to check out this week’s Classy Ring Attire podcast. If you want to submit a question or comment to the new “Chris’ Mail Sack” segment, you can do so by sending them to our email classyringattire@gmail.com or on twitter @CRAttire.

Kickstarter update: our animated short film we’re raising money for (Moon Bear) is now up to $2,100! Thank to everyone that’s helped us so far, we still have 19 days to raise $1,400. if you would like to help us out, click here.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: So my coworker believes that Leia would get it on with an ewok before she would with Lando…discuss.
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When Punk left last week, he spoke about achieving goals and milestones during his time in the WWE. And he spoke about having hit many of those milestones and wondering what was left for him. The speech was one that very much seemed to echo his genuine feelings behind the scenes as much as his in ring character. He’s successfully held the championship longer than anyone else in the last twenty-five years, though he didn’t win, he was given the opportunity to challenge The Streak at WrestleMania, something that could arguably be the current highest honor in the company.  To a lesser extent, he was the only one, other than John Cena, deemed worthy to go against the Rock for the WWE title when Rock was in the title picture. He’s been both a heel and a face, and very successful in both cases. There is genuinely not much new left for CM Punk to do in the company. So what options are there for Punk’s eventual return? As much as we know about CM Punk behind the scenes, it’s very likely that whenever he returns it will be for a storyline that he very much believes in, so what could it be? What will it be like a few months down the road when CM Punk does eventually return?

First and foremost, I find it very hard to believe that CM Punk won’t be returning as a face. For six months the WWE tried to get us to boo CM Punk and it never quite took as much as they wanted it to. Punk committed acts that would easily have turned whole crowds against anyone else, but every time his music hit, there were always audible cheers. Sometimes, more sometimes less, but you could always hear them. Add the fans determination to cheer the guy to the fact that he’ll get the standard returning superstar pop? This guy is going to get a massive pop the night he comes back and I don’t know if WWE will ever fully be able to get it to go the other way.

Obviously the dream reason for CM Punk to come back is to face Stone Cold. It’s a match that both men have said that they are interested in and one that the Internet has been clamoring for since who knows when? This even fits into Punk’s story of leaving because he has no more unaccomplished goals in the WWE. Stone Cold would be an opponent to defeat that he had never gone up against before, and one that could easily be checked off of the wrestling bucket list that Punk has been burning through these past few years. The only downfall to this idea is that if a Punk/Stone Cold match can be arranged, there is no way that it won’t be taking place at WrestleMania, and I don’t want to wait until then to see CM Punk again. Starting at SummerSlam I’m going to be impatiently counting the days.

Speaking of WrestleMania though, there is one other goal that CM Punk could return for. CM Punk has never been the in the Main Event match at WrestleMania. He’s gone into Mania as the WWE Champion and come out of Mania as the WWE Champion. He’s challenged the Undertaker for the Streak but in all that time, he has never been in the final match of the night. Last year when half the Internet was complaining that Punk never ended a show despite being the champion, Punk comment that he always made sure his match was the main event regardless of where it was on the card. And while that it true, and while Punk more often than not made his match the one worth remembering (most of his previous WrestleMania appearances included) the shot of CM Punk holding aloft his newly won belt after an amazing thirty minute match to close out WrestleMania is something we have yet to see, and something worth coming back for.
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