Inside Pulse Wrestling » DGUSA http://wrestling.insidepulse.com Wrestling news, rumors, reviews and commentary, from WWE to TNA to ROH and everything in between... Tue, 02 Sep 2014 05:38:43 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 Wrestling news, rumors, reviews and commentary, from WWE to TNA to ROH and everything in between... Inside Pulse Wrestling no Wrestling news, rumors, reviews and commentary, from WWE to TNA to ROH and everything in between... Inside Pulse Wrestling » DGUSA http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/wp-content/plugins/powerpress/rss_default.jpg http://wrestling.insidepulse.com Rabblecast #357 Wrestlemania 30 News And More! http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/04/04/rabblecast-357-wrestlemania-30-news-and-more/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/04/04/rabblecast-357-wrestlemania-30-news-and-more/#comments Fri, 04 Apr 2014 23:49:12 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=166032 WWE’s, Wrestlemania 30 is just a few short days away, so it’s no surprise that this episode of The Rabblecast is packed with WWE news and speculation. When everything is said and done where will Wrestlemania 30 fall in the annals of WWE history? So what are you doing still reading the episode summary? Listen to the show and see if Wrestlemania 30 has what it takes to be one of the biggest milestones for the WWE.

We are, The Rabblecast!

 

On this week’s show:

  • A quick look at the Wrestlemania 30 card (updated)
  • Resistance Pro Wrestling possibly coming to AMC TV?
  • Ken Shamrock plays hardball with local independent fed
  • Chris Jericho teases fans with mention of a new company #BTWF

 

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Popular Independent Wrestler Confirmed To Have Signed With WWE http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2013/05/27/popular-independent-wrestler-confirmed-to-have-signed-with-wwe/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2013/05/27/popular-independent-wrestler-confirmed-to-have-signed-with-wwe/#comments Tue, 28 May 2013 00:24:36 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=156819 Now former DGUSA standout Sami Callihan has been confirmed by Dragon Gate to have officially signed a developmental contract with WWE. WWNLive.com sent out an email alert Monday stating:

“We can now announce that Sami Callihan has already wrestled on his final DGUSA/Evolve event,” reads the news alert update. “We want to extend a heartfelt ‘thank you’ to Sami for being an important part of DGUSA/Evolve history. Calihan started at the bottom of (the) card and through hard work and determination became a main player in the WWNLive family.”

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Press Release: The State Of DGUSA & EVOLVE http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/11/30/press-release-the-state-of-dgusa-evolve/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/11/30/press-release-the-state-of-dgusa-evolve/#comments Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:26:39 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=150979 This is a special edition WWNLive Alerts. We normally try to fill the WWNLive Alerts with quick news bits, specials, pictures and videos. This edition will change the pace. It will focus on three key areas of DGUSA/EVOLVE, our strengths and weaknesses as well as what we are doing to make each brand better for you. There is a very personal conclusion to this lengthy email blast.
 
We do need to note that the Black Friday sales at www.DGUSA.tv have been extended until this Friday, Nov. 30th, at midnight EST. This means you still have a few hours to save 50% on DGUSA DVDs, 33% on EVOLVE DVDs and 40% on all DGUSA/EVOLVE/Dragon Gate gear. This is your last chance, as the sales will definitely be over for good this Friday at midnight EST. No codes are needed and everything is already marked down in the DGUSA.tv Store or order by calling 267-519-9744.
 
Now it’s time for the State Of DGUSA/EVOLVE Address from Gabe Sapolsky. Let’s get to it….
 
Roster
 
We are extremely proud of the roster we have built over the last few years. It’s been an amazing journey watching the new generation grow and develop into today’s new stars. This is the strength of DGUSA and EVOLVE.
 
2012 was a landmark year. We said goodbye to PAC and Brodie Lee, who both signed WWE contracts. Recently, we saw Jon Moxley, who has an extensive history in DGUSA and EVOLVE, make a sudden impact in WWE as Dean Ambrose. These developments prove that the new wave of major league talent is on the current DGUSA/EVOLVE roster.
 
DGUSA/EVOLVE does not have tomorrow’s stars, our roster features the best going today. We have strengthened our roster this year with over 15 talents signed to contracts. In addition, our positive work environment and growth potential has allowed us to re-sign several of our established stars to multi-year contracts. This means we have secured a tremendous roster for you to follow.
 
We are also pleased that several talents have been able to travel to Japan to have a strong presence in Dragon Gate. Ricochet is a legitimate star in Japan. Open The Freedom Gate Champion Johnny Gargano, half of the Open The United Gate Champions AR Fox, Rich Swann, Larry Dallas and now Scott Reed have all had successful tours of Japan in 2012.
 
Another positive development was the arrival of guest stars, particularly El Generico. He has been a significant force in both DGUSA and EVOLVE after his unforgettable surprise debut at Mercury Rising 2012. Other notable guests in 2012 include Colt Cabana, The Young Bucks, Sara Del Rey, Tommy Dreamer, Sabu and some extreme favorites at EVOLVE 10. There is no telling who will show up in 2013.
 
This might sound like a lot of hype and bragging, but we are this proud of our roster. We are very excited about the possibilities going into 2013.
 
Live Events
 
It was a very mixed year for DGUSA and EVOLVE live events. We entered 2012 with a goal of running more live shows. We felt that only running three EVOLVE cards in 2011 stalled the momentum of the promotion. In addition, we felt there was too long of a gap between DGUSA weekends in 2011. The solution was to form a union between the two brands, run more EVOLVE cards between DGUSA weekends and build momentum. This was both a success and failure.
 
The first failure was losing three of our mainstay, “go to” buildings due to various reasons. BB King’s in Manhattan wasn’t happy with the food and drink sales at our events and would not book anymore shows. The former ECW Arena in Philadelphia and the Ace Arena in New Jersey both closed down. This left us without any homes in the Northeast. We are still struggling to find a new one. We do have hopes for The Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees, NJ, which is a first class, centralized facility.
 
This has led us to try new areas with mixed results. The year started out hot with great crowds in Philadelphia for the final Arena show, Los Angeles and Miami. However, we were unable to draw good crowds in new areas like the Carolinas and Florida. We also had decent results in the Midwest and Toronto, and were devastated by Hurricane Sandy at the last DGUSA tripleshot.
 
However, we do feel positive about the fact that we tried some new areas. We hope to continue that in 2013 and even build on what we started this year. We do not rule out running shows anywhere.
 
We were very pleased with the in ring quality of all the shows and felt more events provided a stronger product for you to follow. The outlook for 2013 is on the upswing. WrestleCon could be the biggest crowds in DGUSA/EVOLVE history. There are some leads in the New York City area for a new venue. A West Coast return in the works and there is some other stuff in development. We recognize a crowd can make or break a show. We will do our best to bring the most exciting action with a fun, good live atmosphere to you.
 
Distribution
 
We realize this is a controversial area with DVD vs. iPPV distribution. We also know that we promised that DVDs would be out faster and while we have had several recent releases, we haven’t delivered. You don’t want to hear excuses, you just want DVDs. Now we will fill you in on what’s going on. So here’s the deal.
 
DGUSA/EVOLVE is a mom & pop small business operation with limited resources, both financially and from a manpower perspective. Late last year we lost a key member of our staff for several months due to a medical emergency. This was a huge setback. However, we were getting back on our feet with DVD production when we had to make some choices.
 
It is no secret that DVD sales are down everywhere. You just have to walk into the shrinking DVD section of Best Buy to see that. Now don’t get us wrong, we still know that DVD collectors are plentiful and many of you want to own our shows. We appreciate that and we will always serve you with high quality DVDs that play anywhere in the world with top notch packaging and production. Our recent Mercury Rising 2012, Open The Ultimate Gate 2012, Heat and EVOLVE 11: Finlay vs. Callihan DVDs prove that.
 
We were faced with a choice earlier this year: Put our limited staff and financial resources into DVDs or www.WWNLive.com iPPV? It is clear that iPPV is the future. We heard your demand for it. The growth in iPPV sales, both live and On Demand, backed that up. We made the decision to put our resources, for the time being, into WWNLive.com.
 
We have been very pleased with the results. We had flawless streams all year, except for an under five minute hiccup due to human error in January, which won’t happen again. WWNLive.com On Demand also has every DGUSA and EVOLVE show in history available to watch anytime. This has given us the opportunity to run a huge sale the whole holiday season where every show is 33% if it happened in 2012 to almost 50% off for all shows from past years.
 
In addition, we have seen growth with several partners including Kayfabe Commentaries, Combat Zone Wrestling, Extreme Rising, Family Wrestling Entertainment and $5 Wrestling all presenting live iPPVs through WWNLive.com. The emergence of this platform also paved the way for the SHINE promotion to be launched. In addition, several other promotions have taken advantage of the On Demand option to showcase their brands.
 
You can also now watch iPPVs at WWNLive.com on your iPhone, iPad, Droid device and just recently Xbox 360 and PS3. We have learned that both Xbox 360 and PS3 play our On Demand streams flawlessly, but you can only watch live events on PS3.
 
This has all happened in under two years! We are thrilled with the results and the best is yet to come. There will be a WWNLive Roku channel launched in early 2013.
 
This is all good news for DVD collectors. Why? This means that we have gotten WWNLive established so we can turn our resources back to DVD production. We will get the DGUSA and EVOLVE DVDs you want in your hands. In the meantime, we do have several great DVDs for you to catch up on, which you can get at huge discounts until this Friday night.
 
If you have any questions or comments about the above explanation we welcome it. We appreciate all of your support. It is only with your business that we are able to make WWNLive.com better for you and speed up our DVD production. Thank you for making it happen.
 
Conclusion
 
First of all, we appreciate you reading this State Of DGUSA/EVOLVE Address. I want to hear your feedback. What are we doing that you like? What can we improve on? What can we make better for you? Shoot us an email at Help@DGUSA.tv or use the social network buttons at the bottom of this WWNLive Alerts to give us your thoughts. We can only get better with your feeback.
 
2012 had its successes and failures. In 2013, we will build on the successes and correct the failures. We will end 2012 in style with EVOLVE 18: Gargano vs. Callihan on December 8th and build momentum to the huge WrestleCon weekend on April 5th-7th.
 
For me, 2012 has been a year of personal growth. My son turned three-years-old in October. I had no idea how to deal with kids before he was born. In fact, I’ll admit I pretty much ignored that kids existed. The last few years I have learned how to be a father. When I was with ROH, the company was my life. I lived it 24/7. The result was me going kinda crazy. It’s not something I can do now. It might sound weird, but it took me until a few months ago to figure out how to juggle being a dad and a pro wrestling booker. I have now found that balance.
 
I am really enjoying the Road To WrestleCon we started a few months ago. I look forward to the next chapter unfolding on December 8th. From there we will add some more events leading to the EVOLVE Title tournament on April 5th and then the biggest DGUSA shows of the year on April 6th and April 7th.
 
You will see EVOLVE, for lack of a better word, evolve over the next few months to the tournament. The EVOLVE concept was originally developed by Bryan Danielson (Daniel Bryan) and I. Davey Richards then came in when Bryan left and had influence. However, we were unable to move forward with him. We tried to stay true to the original concepts, but now a new vision for EVOLVE is emerging. It’s not going to be a radical departure from the EVOLVE you know now, but it is time for some tweaks and changes. The new vision will be develop up until April 5th and the crowning of the first EVOLVE Champion.
 
Our next WWNLive Alerts will be sent when the new www.DGUSA.tv is live. In the meantime, please take advantage of our extended Black Friday Sales in the DGUSA.tv Store. They expire on Nov. 30th at midnight EST. and then they are done for good. Thank you for your time and support. We will close with a look at the EVOLVE 18 lineup.
 
Sincerely,
Gabe Sapolsky
 
EVOLVE 18: Gargano vs. Callihan
Flyers Skate Zone
601 Laurel Oak Rd.
Voorhees, NJ 08043
Belltime: 4pm
Doors: 3:30pm

Tickets now on sale in the DGUSA.tv Store or by calling 267-519-9744. Pre-order the live iPPV at www.WWNLive.com with three pricing options.

 
Open The Freedom Gate Title Match
Johnny Gargano defends vs. Sami Callihan
 
Bonus Tag Team Main Event
El Generico & Samuray Del Sol vs. The Super Smash Brothers
 
Four Way Freestyle
The Winners Of The Following Matches Will Compete In This Bout
 
Four Way Freestyle Qualifier #1
Chuck Taylor vs. Jon Davis
 
Four Way Freestyle Qualifier #2
AR Fox vs. Tony Nese
 
Four Way Freestyle Qualifier #3
Jigsaw vs. Rich Swann
 
Four Way Freestyle Qualifier #4
Masada vs. Papadon
 
Plus more to be added!!!

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Video: DGUSA & EVOLVE Black Friday Sale http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/11/21/video-dgusa-evolve-black-friday-sale/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/11/21/video-dgusa-evolve-black-friday-sale/#comments Wed, 21 Nov 2012 21:49:58 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=150679

Check it out at DGUSA.tv
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DGUSA News & Notes – Sami Callihan, El Generico, Johnny Gargano, More http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/11/01/dgusa-news-notes-sami-callihan-el-generico-johnny-gargano-more/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/11/01/dgusa-news-notes-sami-callihan-el-generico-johnny-gargano-more/#comments Fri, 02 Nov 2012 01:10:54 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=150091 Check out the following news updates for all the information heading into Dragon Gate USA’s final three shows of the year:

Free Videos to Watch

AR Fox vs. Ricochet

Dragon Gate USA/Hurricane Sandy Update, more

Late Breaking News

Final Update
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That Being Said: TNA LIVE Impact Wrestling Summer Bash Results for 05.31.2012 – Hulk Hogan, Brooke Hogan, Sting & Dixie Carter http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/05/31/that-being-said-tna-live-impact-wrestling-results-for-05-31-2012-hulk-hogan-brooke-hogan-sting-dixie-carter/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/05/31/that-being-said-tna-live-impact-wrestling-results-for-05-31-2012-hulk-hogan-brooke-hogan-sting-dixie-carter/#comments Thu, 31 May 2012 22:48:59 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=142575 Welcome to the illustrious return of “That Being Said” to Inside Pulse. I’m going to begin this recap by stating how TNA has come to this point. If you’re only interested in the live results and not how this insane show (and recap) came to be, then by all means, skip down to the “Live Coverage” heading below.

Introduction / Background

So I’m all set to take some time off, and then everyone started talking about this Live Impact Wrestling thing. I knew they were all set to go LIVE with Impact again, but to be honest, I didn’t really bother to read anything about it. This isn’t anything they haven’t done before. And in the last year or so, for all they’ve done wrong, they at LEAST stopped with the “COMPANY IS CHANGING FOREVER STARTING TONIGHT” and “BIGGEST SHOW IN TNA HISTORY” nonsense.

Until this past week, where they started talking fucking crazy again. This is where it always gets really fun with TNA.

 

So I started thinking about the last time TNA had THIS kind of hype behind a live Impact broadcast. I guess it would be back in 2010, for Hulk Hogan’s first show on January 4th. That live show was absolutely fucking crazy. TNA fans went nuts to see that show, and Hulk Hogan talked about he was only going to gracefully look at the product from the sidelines and add what he could. People were genuinely excited.

Then Hulk Hogan debuted on the show, gracefully with respect, arriving in a limo escorted by a 20-police car motorcade. Bubba The Love Sponge was there. Scott Hall and Syxx weren’t allowed in, so they beat up some guards and got in. Mick Foley couldn’t get in because he wasn’t willing to beat up security guards. Then Hall and Syxx met Kevin Nash in the ring, and started talking to Hulk Hogan about partying, while Scott Hall was stumbling around the ring confused, like he couldn’t figure out why they weren’t partying already. He then spoiled the surprise that Eric Bischoff was there after TNA spent several segments building up that surprise. The Nasty Boys showed up and started eating donuts in the Dudley’s locker room. Val Venis showed up to play strip-poker with The Beautiful People in the most poorly-lit segment in TV history. Ken Anderson and Orlando Jordan showed up and nobody cared. Homicide found himself unable to escape a giant birdcage that TNA had constructed, whlie other wrestlers stood around and had no idea what to do, but that part was okay because it was impossible to see inside the cage anyway. Jeff Hardy then returned to TNA so that he could beat up Homicide for his birdcage faliures, then painted a picture in the locker room with Shannon Moore before giving it to a screaming mob of 2 fans. He then drove away and wasn’t seen for months. It. Was. Fucking Crazy.

After that show and a few others, they correctly concluded that they were nowhere near smart enough to be doing a live TV show. They shouldn’t even be doing live PPV’s - they almost burned down their own building during a live PPV once. Anyway, very few live Impact’s were done after that.

Over 2 years later, we’re back again.

Dixie Carter came out and said recently that the “wrestling format” has become stale. Which is her Public Relations-y way of saying that she knows what they’ve been putting on for years has been terrible. Those people who are STILL crazy enough to defend this awful show? And yes, there are still some out there – she just shit on all of them who have loyally defended her show. Which isn’t nice, because TNA gave those fans very little ammo to fight with as it was. That the show’s terrible is true, but it’s not because the “wrestling format” has become stale, it’s because they don’t know how to put together ANY kind of format, wrestling or otherwise. They’ve had YEARS to figure it out. They can’t do it. They’re morons.

Actually, forget all the crazy stuff they’ve said – if you were go to to any kind of show business expert, and show them a TAPED episode of TNA and told them that you were thinking of going live, they’d spit roast you like a pig and go laugh about it with their co-workers.

 

NOW factor in the crazy – they’re saying that the “highly-rated” weekly series will be a “hybrid of reality and explosive action”, and that “the reality elements and production technique respresent the most signifigant evolution in this genre in more than 15 years.” Can anyone tell me what this even means? There hasn’t been ANY evolution in wrestling over the past 15 years, so I suppose that part could technically be considered correct, if you are REALLY loose with the definition of “evolution”. But what the hell does “hybrid of reality and explosive action” mean? They mean staged reality, right? RIGHT?! That can’t be seriously planning on showing ACTUAL reality, Can they? CAN THEY?!?!

Dixie then said “What happens backstage, in the office and on the road is so entertaining that we decided it was time to pull the curtain way back and give viewers a peek at that world as well. Over the next few weeks and months, viewers will continue to see our show evolve as we expose more real aspects of our business that have always been sacred.” One can only assume, again, that she’s talking about fake reality, and it’s going to take people less than a minute to figure that out. And then they’re going to laugh at her.

The press release then goes on to say “Cameras will be everywhere. Meetings will be shot in real time and unscripted as we capture moments; not produced segments. Access to conversations and vantage points that have never been seen before, such as production meetings, talent evaluations nad post-match critiques, will be revealed.” Wow, it definitely sounds like they’re planning on ACTUALLY showing us the REAL LIFE behind pro wrestling, doesn’t it? No idea how they’re going to pull that off, but it will still sure be interesting to see.

Wait, what’s this? From the SAME press release: “Combined with an emphasis on story structure, long term character and story development, these changes will help Impact Wrestling pioneer the next generation of wrestling entertainment programming.”

 

I understand now. See, everything you saw before now was lame, stale, and fake. Which means if you liked it, you’re a moron. But now, what you’ll see is real. Because now, they’ll be exposing the reality behind wrestling, with an emphasis on UNSCRIPTED and UNPRODUCED meetings, post-match critiques, talent evaluations, and backstage segments… and that will be COMBINED with story structure and long-term character development.

You’re going to give us an UNSCRIPTED AND UNPRODUCED show… with an emphasis on CHARACTER AND STORY DEVELOPMENT.

“Character and story development?” That’s called a script. That’s called producing. You fucking MORONS. They can’t even do a press release right!

Oh, and they have Brooke Hogan now too. Yeah. She’s going to bring in all the fans she amassed during her awesome music career.

 

Fuck it! This sounds insane. There’s no way I can not do this. This company is fucking crazy. I LOVE TNA. You wanna get nuts with me? LET’S GET NUTS!!!

I won’t be reviewing this show on a regular basis. But I can’t pass up the first show of something this crazy. But that brings me to something they told me to mention – we are DESPARATELY looking for a TNA recapper. We had Justin Legacy for like a month, and he quit. We had James Carter for like 3 weeks, and he quit. I know we had another dude who’s name escapes me, and he quit after like a month too. I actually hung in there for like 6 months last year when I started with Pulse, and then did it on a temporary basis for another month or so this year. Scott Keith has filled in as well. But we can’t find anyone who can do the job permanently for more than a couple weeks before TNA or TNA fans make them quit. If you want to represent this fine website by reviewing TNA, then send an e-mail to matthew@pulsewrestling.com.

I haven’t seen a lot of TNA this year, so I’m just going to get that out of the way right now. But TNA is clearly trying to pull in new viewers with this show, and it’s not unreasonable to say that TNA should be making this show appeal to new viewers. And while I may not have seen the recent shows, I’ve read most of the reports, so I think my information is fairly current.

Let’s get to LIVE, UNSCRIPTED, UNPRODUCED Impact Wrestling, starring Brooke and Hulk Hogan!

FIST PUMP!

 

LIVE Unscripted, Unproduced Impact Wrestling Summer Bash Coverage

Previously on Impact… Hogan faced a hard choice on who was going to get a title shot against Roode. He gave AJ Styles the title shot, but AJ’s mind was somewhere else during the bout, and Roode got the win. Then Sting returned.

LIVE Impact kicks off with a bunch of lumberjacks surrounding the ring. Apparently the TNA World Heavyweight Title Match is right now?!

Non-TNA World Heavyweight Title Lumberjack Match
Bobby Roode (c) .vs. Sting

Roode, charisma machine that he is, enters. Then Sting enters to a nice reaction. PUnches by Sting to start the match, then an irish whip into the corner. Roode botches a Flair bump. 6 minutes into the show and we already have a botch.

Roode takes control, but then Sting hulks up. Sting with clotheslines. Roode ends up on the apron, but doesn’t want to go outside because the lumberjacks are there. Sting kicks him atop the ropes, then knocks him to the floor. The lumberjacks rough him up a bit, then push him back in the ring. Then Sting knocks him out again, and Roode gets roughed up again. Sting then misses a Stinger splash, and Roode tosses him to the heel lumberjacks. They rough HIM up a bit, but Sting hits a shoulderblock on Roode. Back-body drop, and the crowd doesn’t seem all that impressed.

Roode gets tossed in by the lumberjacks after being tossed outside again. Then the same thing happens to Sting. Now the heel lumberjacks are facing off with the babyface lumberjacks. Sting is rolled in the ring, and Roode gets a 2-count. Roode with some kicks. Taz and Tenay start talking about Brooke Hogan. Kneedrop by Roode gets another 2-count. Bearhug by Roode. Crowd tries to rally Sting up, and he breaks the bearhug and hits some elbows. Mike Tenay wants me to Tweet my friends that Impact is LIVE tonight.

Roode beats Sting down some more. Then he tosses Sting outside again, and he fights them off.

On the surface, this might just seem like another boring title match with a boring World Champion, but remember, it’s unscripted and unproduced! See the difference? We are off to an awesome start.

Commercial.

We’re back, and Roode is still kicking Sting. Suplex by Roode.

And Roode tosses Sting to the outside to get beaten on some more. Sting back in, and Roode punches and chops in the corner. Sting hulks up out of the corner, and starts hammering back. Stinger splash in the corner, and Roode escapes outside to the heels, who protect him. The babyfaces come over to confront them, and Sting dives on everyone. “TNA” chants from the crowd. Sting tries to hook on the Scorpion Deathlock, but Roode turns it into a crossface. Sting makes it to the ropes. Roode with some kicks.

Sting reverses a move by Roode and hits the Scorpion Death Drop. Sting then locks on the Scorpion Death Lock, and Roode taps.

Winner: Sting

Hulk Hogan is here, and TNA is still paying for pyro for his entrance. Hogan says that Sting is the main man for TNA, and that he has a TNA World Title match against Roode at Slammiversary. Which was unscripted. He just came up with that. Roode is surprised, which is odd, because a TNA World Title defense on almost every TNA PPV. I guess all this UNSCRIPTED SHOOT stuff is catching him off guard. This show is totally different and unscripted and revolutionary and awesome now, and not at all like before.

Commercial. 3 Hulk Hogan’s want us to use Rent-A-Center.

 

Heroin Girl (Madison Rayne) is ironing something backstage. She isn’t worried about Brooke Hogan showing up. Heroin Girl just wants to impress some guy she doesn’t name. And she wants heroin. Obviously.

Bully Ray is in the crowd. He starts cutting an unscripted shoot promo on Joseph Park, who is in the crowd eating popcorn. He reminds Joseph that he beat him up last week. Then they show what happened last week, when Ray beat him up. Ray continues yelling at Park. Park looks upset. Ray wants to fight him. Park reluctantly goes down to the ring. Then he says he doesn’t want to fight – then Ray calls his entire family cowards.

Then Ray says that Park’s brother (Abyss) is a coward. Then Park (Abyss) jumps the rail. Security grabs him, but Ray tells security he’ll take responsability, which is risky because this show is all uncensored and live and awesome now. Park gets into the ring. Ray continues yelling at him, telling Park to hit him. Park doesn’t want to hit him.

Then Ray says he changes his plea to “Guilty” of leaving Abyss (Park) for dead. Park (Abyss) is upset and surprsied by the fact that Ray would do this to Abyss (Park). This doesn’t make any sense at all. Park (Abyss) grabs Ray and forces him to his knees, then Bully Ray threatens to sue. Then Park says that he will not stoop to Ray’s level, because he’s an attourney. Ray calls him a coward again, and leaves. Joseph’s feelings are hurt. He should have been more careful, anything can happen without a script.

Then Park changes his mind and says he wants to fight Ray. Ray says he will fight him at Slammiversary. Park looks worried. Ray looks pleased. Tenay says Park can’t get out of the match now – which seems odd, given that Park (Abyss) is not a TNA wrestler.

Commercial. Matt Morgan is still beating up insurance people in his underwear.

We’re a quarter-way through. Amazing, different show so far. I already forget what TNA was like before all these revolutionary changes.

 

Video package for Crimson and his awesome unstoppable TNA run thus far. He is backstage, and says that the video package is evidence that he can’t be beaten.

TNA X-Division Title Match
Austin Aries (c) .vs. Chris Sabin

A match! That’s not on my format sheet!

Sabin comes out and Mike Tenay tells us not to judge him as a tag-team wrestler just because of all his years spent with the Motor City Machine Guns, and they mention his partner, Shelley, who recently left TNA (good for him.) They show Aries (also known as “the one guy TNA hasn’t managed to fuck up with in the past several years”) getting sprayed down before the match, and then patting the spray-down guy on the chest before his music hits. That’s EXPOSING THE BACKSTAGE reality of wrestling, you see. That stuff is sacred, so this is going to cause quite the stir. Dixie Carter said so in that press release. They’re breaking all kinds of rules here!

The match was actually quite good for a TV match. Lots of athletic back-and-forth to start, until Sabin kicks Aries in the head, but Aries tosses him to the outside and does that awesome bottom-rope dive. Back inside, Sabin attempts that awesome delayed missle dropkick, but eats mat. Aries with a dropkick from the top rope, the dropkick into the corner, and a dive to the outside onto Sabin.

Sabin then catches Aries coming inside, then hits some rope-rebound twisting suplex thing… which I don’t know what to call… but it was awesome. Sabin goes for a suplex, but Aries reverses into a rollup for the pin.

Winner & Still TNA X-Division Champion: Austin Aries

Decent match I suppose, especially by TNA standards.

Earlier today, Hogan is confronting Taz on something related to Gutcheck… in a very dark room with spotlights shining on them. See, this is REALITY, because Taz and Hogan were just talking alone in a poorly lit room with spotlights, and there were cameras EVERYWHERE, just like Dixie said. It SOUNDS like a segment that WOULD have been scripted in that old, STALE format that Dixie tossed out the window, but this is REAL. It’s unproduced! I fucking LOVE this show.

Taz says that people don’t like “the real Taz” and Hogan says he doesn’t care about that. Hogan says that TONIGHT, LIVE on Impact, anything could happen.

Commercial.

 

Holy shit. So NOW, they’re showing an UNSCRIPTED AND UNPRODUCED MEETING SHOT IN REAL TIME… from yesterday… with Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow, and Taz. They discuss this kid from Gutcheck, which is all caught on these cameras that Dixie had installed everywhere… complete with zooming and panning. They’re PULLING THE CURTAIN BACK and SHOOTING on this Gutcheck stuff, and Taz SHOOTS on this Gutcheck kid. Totally he wasn’t supposed to do that, but the cameras caught it, and now it’s in the show. Taz is insulted as a former competitor. They argue about this Gutcheck kid for a while. Apparently the Gutcheck kid needs to convince this BACKSTAGE COMMITTEE that he deserves to be there. This is fucking hilarious.

Another commercial. Halfway through. This show is so confused. It was already confused enough. And Brooke Hogan is on next. This is surreal. I honestly can’t believe it.

 

PULLING THE CURTAIN BACK BACKSTAGE UNSCRIPTED LIVE AND REAL, we’re looking at our 4 possible contenders for D-Von’s TNA Television Title. You could vote on the website for who you wanted to see get the TV Title shot. They just stand there awkwardly while Borash introduces them.

Dixie Carter comes out and asks how the crowd is doing. Dixie says it’s a great evening, and talks about TNA being 10 years old. She says that at the PPV, TNA will announce the very first entry into the TNA Hall of Fame.

Now Dixie Carter is talking about all the EXCITING CHANGES on Impact, and refers to the Knockout Division. She then introduces Brooke Hogan.

Brooke comes out to a country song, presumably one she sung herself. She’s got quite the “fuck me” boots on.

Dixie welcomes Brooke to TNA, and talks about GIRL POWER, and how excited she is for all Brooke is going to do for them, given all her experience in the wrestling business. Is that a joke?

PEOPLE ARE BOOING HER!!! Holy shit, that’s funny. Brooke gives Dixie a pep talk, and talks about how wrestling is her passion… after her music and her reality TV, and apparently Tenay said she was in movies too. But wrestling comes after all of that.

She thanks Dixie. They hug. Segment over. What the fuck?!?!

Backstage, Daniels and Kaz are caught on one of the BACKSTAGE CAMERAS exposing the REAL LIFE BEHIND THE SHOW… talking about how Dixie Carter didn’t talk about her scripted AJ Styles scandal. .

Commercial. TNA apparently goes live on YouTube during these. Advertisers must love that. Dave tells me that the LIVE TNA coverage on YouTube was going whlie Daniels was cutting his UNSCRIPTED REALITY promo. I fucking LOVE this show

Also, Samoa Joe has apparently been escorted from the building and is LIVE TWEETING about the event from home. I bet this is the start of a huge push for Samoa Joe in TNA… actually, sarcasm aside, that is kinda a promotion for Joe.

 

We are back, to watch a match for a title that no one cared a thing about before tonight. Who did the fans vote for to face D-Von?

TNA World Television Title Match
D-Von (c) .vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff Hardy has been voted by the fans to be in the TV Title segments of the show? Does that seems weird to anyone else? Even weirder, eyelids painted on his eyeballs. Someone really should have stopped him from doing more dumb shit as a kid, maybe then he wouldn’t do so much dumb shit as a adult. Like you’d think when he came home from school with some dumb shit like cut-up socks on his arms, his Dad would have been like “get the brick” and dealt with the problem. But he didn’t, and now we have this. Crowd goes nuts for Jeff as usual.

Taz and Tenay talk about whether this Joey Ryan kid from GUTRENCH or whatever is going to get a contract. D-Von gets a 2-count after a single shoulder-block. D-Von looks in pretty good shape. Hardy hits a headscissors on D-Von before D-Von runs him to the ground. Jeff gets up and they volley, until Jeff hits that sloppy mule kick. Jeff hits that Whisper move and gets 2. D-Von dodges a charges and hits a jumping neckbreaker out of the corner that wasn’t bad. 2-count.

Duelling chants for Hardy and D-Von… hmm, didn’t think D-Von had that kind of crowd support. Good for him. Elbow drop by D-Von gets 2. Jeff hits the Twist Of Hate and takes his shirt off. He goes up for the Swanton, but Robbie’s E & T come in and pushes him off the ropes, causing the match to be thrown out. Never seen anything like this on Impact before!

Winner: No Contest

Robbies beat up Hardy for a while, until D-Von comes to his rescue. Then Hardy and D-Von beat up the Robbies.

 

Now we get a James Storm video package. He talks about what a regular guy he is while he rides horses with his daughter. He cuts a promo on Roode while doing so. Apparently Storm is at some kind of crossroads after losing to Roode – and they show some clips for the music video on the song he did. He says he’s made his decision.  His daughter then asks if that means he’s going back to wrestling. And he tells the cameraman to turn off the camera. It was gettnig a little too REAL for him.

Commercial. So far there has been NOTHING on this show that we wouldn’t have seen before… except for Austin Aries getting sprayed down before his match.

 

They re-play the AJ Styles / Dixie Carter SCANDAL storylne. Wasn’t romantically linking him with Karen Angle enough?!?! Kurt Angle apparently did some kind of babyface turn through all of this.

Bruce Pritchard, Al Snow and Taz are in the ring. Borash asks Pritchard if they’re ready to decide if this Joey Ryan kid can have a contract.

Joey Ryan comes out. He’s quite an odd-looking fellow, to say the least. He’s totally making love to the cameras right now. Joey Ryan cuts an unscripted shoot promo, and says he’s trending live on Twitter. He says that 87% of TNA fans voted to have him get a contract.

Borash then asks the judges for their decisions. Pritchard talks about nothing, then says “No” is his vote. They go to Al Snow. They have dramatic American Idol music playing, and it’s really distracting. This segment comes from that one time Hulk Hogan was on American Idol. Anyway, Al Snow votes “Yes”. Taz has the deciding vote.

Borash gives him the mic again. He yells about Pritchard ignoring the 87% vote on the website. This guy is gonna be over-rated by the net, I can tell already, same as that Sandow guy, same as whoever that indy guy coming in to WWE who was fake feuding with Foley. Taz SHOOT VOTES “No”.

Joey Ryan yells at Taz. Taz says he couldn’t “cut the promo” of his life. Taz tells him to go prove himself, then come back and prove him wrong, but for now, it’s “No”.

I don’t even understand what that was supposed to be. Is this one of those things that they’d like us to believe is unscripted? I can’t even tell. I can’t critique or defend this segment, because I honestly have no idea what they were even going for.

 

Commercial. Apparently this YouTube show that Borash is doing is being done backstage via a webcam. During the show, he’s interviewd the producer of this unproduced show. This company fucking rules!!!

 

Bobby Roode video package, detailing him talking to a bunch of people who cheer him.

AJ Styles .vs. Christopher Daniels

Christy Hemme tells me that this is the main event of the show. Retarded storylines aside, AJ and Daniels should be in the main-events. So that’s a plus at least.

AJ pushes Daniels to the corner and eats a slap. They chase each other around, and AJ takes control. AJ hist a hard dropkick. Tenay calls these hits “stiff”. Amazing. Daniels with a shot to the chin and AJ goes down. Punches in the corner by Daniels. Daniels runs into some boots by AJ, but Daniels dorps AJ’s neck over the ropes, which Tenay calls a steel cable. Daniels sends AJ to the floor.

And… commercial.

We’re back, and Daniels is still in control. Daniels does his cool moonsault off the ropes, and hits a submission. Tenay talks about how unpredictable the show has been from the outset. AJ starts to fight back with some punches and chops. AJ then takes down Daniels, and both men are down. He takes Daniels down with some elbows, and brings him up to a torture rack before suplexing him into a pin for 2.

Daniels takes control and chops AJ up on the top rope.  AJ fights back, and hits a nice springboard forearm. AJ springboards to an inverted DDT, but that’s countered by Daniels in a nice move, but AJ hits a Pele to Daniels. he goes for the Styles Clash, but Kaz shows up, and Daniels hits a rollup but only gets 2. Another springboard into an inverted DDT by AJ, this one finding it’s mark. Pin.

Winner: AJ Styles

Kaz and Daniels beat on AJ, until Kurt Angle makes the save. Haven’t seen this on Impact before!

Angle with an Ankle Lock on Kaz, until Daniels punches him in the balls. They then beat on Angle. They then proceed to tie Kurt Angle up in the corner. AJ powers up but Kaz hits him with the Tag-Team Title belt. They choke Kurt some more, and finish tying him up. He breaks free again, but Daniels hits him with the Tag Title belt.

Daniels grabs the mic, and the crowd chants that he sucks. Daniels says he has proof positive of the sordid affair between AJ and Dixie.

They play a phone call between Dixie and AJ. AJ and Dixie talk about meeting up, and not letting Serge know about it.

Dixie then comes out and takes Taz’s headset. She screams at them to turn it off, and the show fades out. You can hear her screaming over the Spike TV logo.

Amazing.

 

Well, that’s the show! Ho-lee shit. I guess there’s some sort of post-show on YouTube. I’m not doing any more.

I’m glad to see AJ and Daniels in the main segments of the show, but obviously nothing good can come of what they’re doing there. Actually, this lame and completely transparent LIVE AND UNSCRIPTED shit aside, this was not much different from any TNA shows that I’ve seen in the last couple years. I wasn’t expecting anything good… I mean, it’s TNA. But as I said before the review started, I at least thought they’d try some insane shit for my amusement.

If you’re looking for a place to complain about my review, I recommend the comment section or the website TNAInsider.com. These guys are so awesome they have a WHOLE THREAD based on an article I did on the TNA roster back in January! And I can only imagine they thought this show was fucking amazing.

And it was. We are a continent that is richer culturally for having watched it.

And if you’re a TNA fan who loved this show, and wants to see a more positive or optimistic view of the show here on Inside Pulse… again, I re-iterate - we need someone to cover this show. Badly. Send an e-mail to matthew@pulsewrestling.com if you’re interested.

 

This has been “That Being Said”. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you when I see you.

I’ll be in my trailer.
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ROH vs. Gabe Sapolsky Getting Ugly http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/05/17/roh-vs-gabe-sapolsky-getting-ugly/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/05/17/roh-vs-gabe-sapolsky-getting-ugly/#comments Thu, 17 May 2012 21:20:01 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=141844 Sources tell PWTorch.com that Ring of Honor has issued a cease & desist letter to former ROH head booker Gabe Sapolsky following Facebook comments Monday ripping ROH related to iPPV issues last weekend. Apparently, Ring Of Honor officials are attempting to enforce an agreement signed in 2008 when Sapolsky and ROH parted ways that he not disparage the company. ROH and Sapolsky are remaining mum on the situation with only a “No comment” coming from Sapolsky’s side.
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VIDEO: Low Ki & El Generico Meet Before 4/13 DGUSA Match http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/04/12/video-low-ki-el-generico-meet-before-413-dgusa-match/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/04/12/video-low-ki-el-generico-meet-before-413-dgusa-match/#comments Thu, 12 Apr 2012 22:50:51 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=139950

This video is from the official DGUSA YouTube channel hyping the Low Ki & El Generico match.
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Interinactivity: 04.06.2012 – Rock / Cena, Undertaker / HHH, Punk / Jericho, Shaemus / Bryan http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/04/06/interinactivity-04-06-2012-rock-cena-undertaker-hhh-punk-jericho-shaemus-bryan/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/04/06/interinactivity-04-06-2012-rock-cena-undertaker-hhh-punk-jericho-shaemus-bryan/#comments Fri, 06 Apr 2012 10:00:32 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=139370 Welcome back to “Interinactivity”. This column is moving to more of a “whenever I feel like it” schedule. It will still be on Fridays, but only when I feel like there’s enough material to do it with. Oh, and I quit doing TNA recaps. I quit that shit hard.

So another WrestleMania has come and gone. And with it, enough “Interinactivity” material to last a thousand winters. This is easily the biggest one I’ve ever done. My apologies in advance for the length. If you’d just like to read my thoughts on a certain part of WrestleMania, then for your convenience I grouped the responses into sections. If your comments are featured and other similar ones aren’t, don’t take it personally if I decided to use yours. With so much to go through, chances are I just found yours first.


Undertaker / Triple H

Scott Keith: Just an amazing performance from both, as they just beat the shit out of each other and let it all hang out.

Blair: This was a solid match, and was better than what I expected. Certainly better than last year’s, not as good as their clash at WM17, but I don’t think anyone really expected it to be. I didn’t really see the point of having the Cell there though, as they didn’t really use it. I mean, I didn’t wanna see these two old dudes fall off it or anything, but if they’re not going to do that, and it’s not going to hinder outside interference, which, unless I’m missing something, wasn’t an issue, then I don’t see why they’d bother putting it up. It would have been the same match without the cell.

 

Scott Keith: I literally don’t think they could have produced a more perfect match given the guys involved, unless there had been blood or something.

Blair: Do those guys involved include Shawn Michaels? Because I found his involvement a bit confusing. Basically it seemed as though he decided to work against whoever the last guy to kick his ass was. Until the end when he just decided “fuck it”. Now again, this is a minor complaint, but I feel like they could have done better if they had EITHER the cell or Shawn Michaels. I don’t think they needed both.

 

Scott Keith: Shawn and Undertaker mend their fences afterwards, and everyone goes out together, because they’re real men who settled their differences like men, and now they respect each other again.  That is what wrestling is supposed to be.  Just fantastic.

Blair: Church!

 

Flaming Wombat: I understand the sentiment for Taker and HHH riding off into the sunset after such a great match, but on the other hand, doesn’t a match like this show that they still have a lot left to offer? HHH is still far from over the hill, and Taker has put on the best match on like 7 or 8 of the past 10 Wrestlemania’s. Do the people who think they should retire now say so as a compliment or an insult? I am curious. Anyway, amazing match.

Blair: Yeah, I’m with Wombat on this one. I think they’ve both at least a little bit left to offer, although I’d add that they should be used sparingly. And it’s entirely possible that Undertaker isn’t far from a cripple these days (as long as that isn’t just kayfabe) so obviously I hope he stops before there’s a real risk of that happening.

 

Punk / Jericho

Scott Keith: Unfortunately that beginning just dragged it down too far to fully recover from.

Blair: I agree that they didn’t need to do that silly stuff at the beginning, but I think it recovered just fine. And I think that it perfectly illustrated just why it was that Punk and Jericho didn’t ever need to go beyond the “Best In The World” storyline, at least on their first outing. The crowd was incredibly into it, especially the last half. The first little bit, not so much.

 

Shamon Of Hedon: Also, anyone else get the feeling Vince saddled Punk/Jericho with the soap opera crap so it wouldn’t steal the show from Cena/Rock, then about halfway through their match Punk and Jericho said “fuck this” and started putting on a clinic? Because the soap opera crap seemed to just abruptly cease right arounf the exact moment they started putting on a clinic.

Blair: Nope. Just you.

WWE does like good wrestling. They just don’t make a habit of it nearly as often as they used to. I’d definitely agree that the match got 100% better once they ditched the lame theatrics though. Even the crowd reaction got better, which isn’t something you can always rely on when you focus on JUST wrestling. It’s a testament to just how good they both are.

But yeah, I doubt anyone else got that impression.

 

Alex Johnson: I got that impression as well.

Blair: Oh, for fuck’s sake. Not everything in wrestling is a conspiracy, kids.

 

Matthew Harrak: Does Chris Jericho’s tights mean his ass is The Best In The World?

Blair: HA.

 

Daniel Bryan / Shaemus

CB: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? AN 18-second SQUASH by Sheamus over Bryan?!?! Wow.

Blair: How long a squash would you have preferred?

 

Scott Keith: Why even bother having it (Shaemus / Bryan) on the show?

Blair: Because they wanted to try and make Shaemus a big deal, and giving him the World Title on the biggest show they do was the best way to try and make that happen. And they wanted to put the belt on him quickly because…

Scott Keith: People LIKE Bryan.

Blair: … because of this. The goal was not to get people to like Bryan. That’s why they have him unable to win most of his matches without cheating, and that’s why they have him abusing whatever the girl’s name is that he’s got hanging around him lately. People seem to have forgotten that. They wanted people to like Shaemus, and that wasn’t happening to the degree they wanted, especially for a guy they gave a Royal Rumble win to. The shorter the match, the less apparent that is. And it gets the belt on Shaemus. Besides, it’s not like anyone was ACTUALLY looking forward to actually seeing that match.

Right?

Scott Keith: I was looking forward to seeing that match.

Blair: Um… why?

 

Mike Gojira: There was a collective gasp as Daniel Bryan lost in 18 seconds. Fortunately, few people in the room knew who Sheamus and Daniel Bryan are, so it didn’t really affect them. For those of us who DID know, that gasp quickly turned into a groan. Well, except for Glazer. He was pretty much indifferent as though he expected it.

Blair: Well, at least I know there was one other person around here who wasn’t all that surprised.

 

Andre 2691: Wow you’ve followed wrestling for how long Keith? People LIKE Bryan????? That would be a perfectly acceptable statement if HE WASNT A HEEL! They’re not supposed to like him. Comparing him to Honkytonk is almost a joke since Honkytonk knew how to play his role and do his job right. The fact that people LIKE Daniel Bryan shows hes just doing a pretty crappy job as a “top HEEL” champion.

Blair: You were headed in the right direction with this, until you started critiquing Bryan for how to do his job as a heel. From where I’m sitting, the guy has done everything he can to get booed, including everything I mentioned above, and was mostly succeeding, I feel, at least until a couple months ago when his heel schtick got SO good that people couldn’t ignore it. That’s when he started getting cheered. Hell, even during his RAW speech where he thanked the crowd, he still was trying to be a dickhead to that girl. Am I wrong on that? I’m curious, what more do people think he could have done to get booed? Does he have to beat the shit out of that poor girl in the ring or does he have to go even further? Let me know what you think.

 

Y2I: Bryan + Sheamus + April 1 = Vince’s idea of a really funny gag. What the FUCK indeed.

Blair: Holy shit. Another one? Seriously? What exactly were you people expecting to see in this match that I’m missing here? All it would have been was Bryan flying around like a maniac trying to make Shaemus look good while people chanted for Bryan. This is like when people got pissed off about the Fingerpoke Of Doom. Were you THAT excited to see the Nash / Hogan classic? Yeah, Vince loves playing on-air gigs during his biggest show of the year. With World Titles and Royal Rumble winners especially.

 

Steven Gepp: And then came that opening 30-second “match”. I was ready to punch anything. These two could have gone for broke and delivered a great match to open the show and pop the crowd.

Blair: No. They couldn’t have. Shaemus would have countered Bryan’s actual wrestling by doing his usual boring thing, which would have been passable as an opener, but it wouldn’t have been good, and there would have been a lot more time to hear the crowd reaction and chants for Bryan, which is not what they wanted. They got them out there, Shaemus got a decent reaction, and he took down Bryan before a lot of people could really notice what the crowd was doing. Who could blame them for not thinking that people would be chanting for Bryan into the next match and the next night on RAW? I wouldn’t have thought that. And I LIKE Bryan.

 

Ralph Hardin: And before I could even get comfortable in my chair, months of character development and effort by Daniel Bryan were thrown out the window put the World Heavyweight Championship on Sheamus in an 18-second throwaway squash that does nothing for anyone.

Blair: This match was not SUPPOSED to be about Daniel Bryan. He’s the heel. Remember? It was supposed to be about Shaemus. That guy who won the Royal Rumble – it was supposed to be about him and about all the time and money they’ve invested in the guy, and getting a return on that investment, which, so far, they haven’t done. Is this result going to change that? No. But they’re taking their best shot.

 

Ralph Hardin: By the way, the fact that it was the opening match was another slight in my opinion to both Bryan and Sheamus… I mean, win the Royal Rumble and jerk the curtain?.

Blair: Except that the World Title match opened the show last year too. And yes, Shaemus won the Royal Rumble and is jerking the curtain. Because Shaemus is bland and uninteresting. He sucks. Winning the Royal Rumble doesn’t make it any less so.

 

Matthew Harrak: Wooooah that was a pop for Sheamus. I’m hoping we can hear the crowd a little better this year.

Blair: Yeah, it was the acoustics! That was it. I was talking with Lisa earlier, and we both agreed, Shaemus killed. I mean…

ME SO SAWWY!

 

Sideshow Bob: Hey Blair, serious question.. Since Shaemus won, in one move, does this increase or decrease your perception of his workrate? Match goes did, but since he was able to do it in one move, is this the most spectacular move ever, or no? Just curious because if it was one move performed to perfection, he would then have a 100% strike/takedown ratio… So how does this figure in?

Blair: That finisher is the same one that Matt Morgan uses. So, it’s good that Shaemus has been reaching for the stars with that. Call me crazy, but I don’t actually know what “workrate” is. I don’t think anyone does. I think it’s one of those IWC terms that people throw around, but when different people use it they mean different things. Does it refer to technical skill? Arial ability? Selling? Endurance? Ability to have a match that’s not the same every time? I don’t know. I don’t really want to know. But I don’t think Shaemus has any of those things. Whatever it is, he’d have to go back in time to have a 100% strike / takedown ratio since a ton of people have taken the move and still beaten him. Actually, that could help make him more interesting. I’d watch the shit out of Shaemus if he were a time traveller. I guess this answer is kind of all over the place. Probably because I don’t really understand the question. To take a stab at it, I don’t think that match shouldn’t be increasing or decreasing anyone’s perception of what Daniel Bryan or Shaemus’ “workrate” is, regardless of what “workrate” means. But that question may have been a joke.

 

Joel Leonard: The problem is that right now, there are fans out there that don’t understand that Daniel Bryan and Sheamus is not the match for that to happen on.

Blair: I would hitch my wagon to that pack of horses.

 

J Adam C: Bryan and Sheamus are obviously going to continue their feud.

Blair: No, they won’t. WWE are still trying to get the majority of the crowd to cheer for Shaemus. You gotta give them credit for sticking by the guy. Putting Shaemus against someone who a majority of people are ACTUALLY cheering for isn’t going to accomplish that. Hence why Shaemus is facing Del Rio.

 

CJ: I’m sure Blair got a good laugh out of the heat Sheamus got tonight

Blair: Aw. No, I’m not happy that anyone fails. All I’m saying is that I saw it coming a mile away. I’ve been saying it for almost a year now. But the Shaemus babyface push HAS failed. After what I read about and YouTubed on RAW, there’s not a lot of debate left to be had on that. Or maybe WWE has failed, in getting him “over” or whatever. Probably some combination of the two, realistically. Either way, it’s not really funny. It’s also just not surprising.

I mean, truthfully, I feel bad for the guy. It’s not like I’m some heartless…

Mike Gojira: Honestly, the first thought that came to my mind when Miami booed Sheamus on Raw was, “Blair Douglas must be loving this moment.”

Blair: … bastard.

 

Cynical Bastard: I would say the lukewarm reception he (Shaemus) gets is because he hasn’t had an actual feud since… I can’t even remember. He comes out and squashes random people here and there. I’m not arguing that it’s because he hasn’t been pushed, because that’s not true, he just hasn’t had any compelling story going on or even been getting a lot of TV time. Bryan, by contrast, has been getting a lot of TV time and interviews lately.

Blair: Yeah… but the guy won the Royal Rumble. And it’s not like he was getting huge reactions when he was feuding with Henry or anything. And Bryan has used his TV time to cheat and be a dick to his girlfriend, so I don’t get how a guy who everyone thinks is so awesome isn’t able to get cheered over that. You’re entitled to your opinion, of course. You think it’s because he hasn’t had a storyline. I think it’s because he sucks.

 

Benny Brown: Sheamus got what sounded like a decent (but not great) face pop after winning the match Sunday. That said, there were a lot of empty seats at the time. The Bryan chants throughout the evening – and there were several – would have me believe that the crowd would have been highly upset to see that match result if it happened later in the evening. At least in Miami, Sheamus can’t touch Bryan’s popularity. That clip from above is 100% accurate, judging from what I heard Sunday. Can Sheamus be a face and sell a few shirts? Yes. Can he be the face WWE obviously wants him to be? I wouldn’t bet on it. Bryan has a much better chance of getting that far.

Blair: Good points – and I admit, Shaemus got a decent face pop after winning, and when he came out. Certainly better than I expected. Likely being the first wrestler out there helped with that. But regardless, I never claimed he didn’t. But “decent” is also not all that good. Not World Title good. And not anywhere near as popular as WWE wants him to be. And he’s not getting this “cornerstone” status that everyone claimed he would have by now. Which is the point I’ve been making for some time.

 

Flaming Wombat: Also, awesome to see Sheamus getting putting over huge, even though it was a horrible booking decision and Bryan (and Sheamus too, actually) deserved better. Awesome, because what Blair said had to happen for Sheamus to be considered huge is exactly what did happen.

Blair: Wrong again. What I said was that putting Shaemus over on that show was the best CHANCE of WWE being able to start making him “huge”. I also said that even if they did that, I didn’t think they’d succeed. The crowd being behind Bryan and not Shaemus when Bryan is supposed to be a dick who abuses his girlfriend, and NOT Shaemus, who has had ALL of WWE’s support to this point and has been babyface booked to the moon… is an embarrassing result. And if you have any doubts, watch RAW, read a recap, or check out the news piece that CB posed of Bryan’s speech to see how your boy Shaemus is doing getting over huge. I’m not even really happy about it, honestly – maybe Shaemus is a nice guy or whatever. It’s not like I want the guy to fail. I’m just saying I saw it coming a mile away.

I was pretty confident I was gonna be right about this Shaemus thing. But even I never expected that I’d be right to this degree. This is hilarious. Bryan has done EVERYTHING he can to get booed up to this point. Shaemus has done EVERYTHING he can to get cheered. Both guys had the company fully behind them in pushing both goals. But Bryan gets cheered and Shaemus is getting booed. Because he sucks. Bryan loses in 18 seconds and gets this. Shaemus gets a Royal Rumble win and a babyface World Title win at WrestleMania and gets… this.

 

Cynical Bastard: I know the answer before I ask, but did you ever consider that possibly, and quite rightly so, the audience is bullshit that one of their Wrestlemania world title matches was an “18 second” squash? I like Sheamus, and I think that was a lousy move. If he was going to win the belt, there should at least have been a match.

Blair: I don’t think that theory holds a lot of weight, honestly, but I do see what you’re saying. I’d agree with you that it didn’t HELP Shaemus that the match was kept short, and, as Wombat said, both guys deserved better. I just don’t care that much because I don’t think the match would have been any good regardless, and I also HIGHLY doubt the RAW crowd would have been that much more behind Shaemus if it had gone any longer.

 

Ryan Alarie: Ultimately though, Sheamus is being booed, and Daniel Bryan is getting chants, mostly because of that one match. Having Bryan go out first, and lose to single move, at Wrestle F’in Mania, one year after the same pairing was left off the card completely, is just so insulting, that there had to be a reaction. One of the best wrestlers, and most interesting characters, on the roster, and you just basically throw it away as a technicality so that you can get to the much more important Kane Vs. Orton “I regret shaking your hand that one time” grudge match.

Blair: I’ve seen a few comments like this – ones that claim that Bryan’s recent support and Shaemus’ recent lack of support are all from this one match. The thing about this is that it doesn’t take into account that Bryan has been getting more support since a few months before WrestleMania, because of the great work that he’s been doing with his heel routine. Now, of course, Sunday certainly kicked that up a notch, but to suggest that this is ALL because of WrestleMania is silly. Shaemus’ reactions have been dying down slowly since mid-last-year. And he was never really all that popular to begin with. It’s not like this is an isolated incident. It’s the continuation and acceleration of something that’s been happening for months.

 

Mike Gojira: While it’s true that the crowd shat all over the Great White’s promo, I’m willing to bet it was more for the poor treatment of Daniel Bryan the night before more than anything else.

Blair: Okay, again, I disagree. But let’s say that you’re right. Why should the crowd care about Bryan? He’s the heel. Shaemus is the babyface. If Shaemus, after winning the Royal Rumble over Chris Jericho, can’t get over on a guy who can’t win matches on his own and abuses his Diva, then that’s a poor reflection on Shaemus, not on the match.

 

Ryan Alarie: While the argument that the World Title match didn’t hurt Bryan has merit, that doesn’t retroactively make it a good move. The overwhelming crowd response is because of that match. The audience wanted to see Bryan and, were given him doing barely anything (on Raw, he had another brief appearance, before they let him out to do something at the end of the show). It also turned the audience on Sheamus as a nasty side effect. (the fact that the audience hated Del Rio is part of it, but I think has more to do with Del Rio’s entire WWE career up to this point being disappointing).

Blair: You’re right that it doesn’t retroactively make it a good move, but you’ve got the rest ass-backwards. The match is not the reason for the crowd reaction. As I said, that (continually decreasing support for Shaemus and increasing support for Bryan) is something that’s been slowly building for months. And that crowd reaction was at least PART of the reason that the match was kept short in the first place. WWE does listen. They see “YES” signs in the crowd. The listen to fans at house shows. Shaemus was continuing to decline in popularity. Bryan was starting to rise in popularity. Both those things happened despite the best efforts on the parts of WWE, Bryan, and Shaemus. So WWE cut the match short, told Rock and Cena they had some extra time, or just told Brodus to suit up and improv a few minutes or something, and Bob’s your uncle. They’re not ready to give up on Shaemus yet. They’re trying to protect him. And good for them – Shaemus has done everything they wanted him to do. I just don’t think it’s going to work.

Here’s what I think is the OTHER part of the reason the match was kept short.

 

Mike Gojira: Look, for months now Daniel Bryan’s character has been that of a sniveling, cowardly heel, doing all he can to escape his matches with the World Heavyweight Championship around his waist. He used the Money in the Bank briefcase to fuck over Big Show, he used AJ to escape Show’s rampage, and he used the confines of a steel cage to his advantage against two lumbering behemoths. Story-wise, it was only fitting that Bryan was embarrassed on the Grandest Stage of Them All.

Blair: Yes. YES!

Thank you, Mike. Thank you.

That’s the right answer.

Now, as long as you don’t…

Mike Gojira: As a fan, I can’t say I’m happy about missing out on Bryan’s in-ring performance.

Blair:

GOJIRAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Flaming Wombat: All the big faces and heels were getting opposite reactions on RAW, so if you want to use this show as proof that Sheamus has failed as a face, then you also have to say that Bryan/Del Rio/Jericho/Cena/et al have failed in their roles as well. The crowd hated the brevity of the WM match, not the winner. What’s funny is, the group I watched the PPV with remarked how loud Sheamus’s face pop was, both for his entrance and win, and it was only after I came on here that I heard that he was “getting booed”. But now Blair, like a Resident Evil boss, has shape-shifted his argument into a new one against which we will have to apply new bouts of reason.

Blair: You keep pointing out that I’ve changed my argument. But really, you’re the one who continues to do that. You keep making odd excuses for the guy. You also keep making odd comparisons. “He’s only getting booed because of the short match” and “then Blair has to acknowledge that (insert name here) sucks because of (insert comparison that makes no sense and doesn’t take other variables into account here)”.

So because it was a short match, they immediately started chanting for the heel of the match who lost? That’s just silly. Did they all make those “YES” signs as soon as the match was over as well? How about Shaemus’ RAW reaction? How about them chanting for Bryan when Shaemus was in the ring and Bryan wasn’t even out there?

My argument is the same as it’s always been. Which is pretty much what Benny Brown said above. For some reason, you seem to think that I’m saying that Shaemus is worthless – I’m not saying Shaemus is worth ZERO dollars. I’m not saying he gets ZERO reaction. I was actually surprised at the ‘Mania reaction the guy got – way bigger than I expected. But hardly all that impressive. And, I hate to keep repeating this, but the guy sucks. People see it. He’s not getting to Cena / Orton / Punk levels, like many suggested last year – and yes, that did happen. It’s not happening so much anymore. People started abandoning support for this guy before 2011 was even out, and much of it wasn’t even real in the first place. You want to stick up for the guy – cool. But to suggest something like chants for Bryan and boos for Shaemus are because of a short match make no sense to me. Maybe they make more sense to other people, but you seem to be having trouble convincing anyone of that.

 

Flaming Wombat: I just rewatched the WM “match” to see if it was all in my head (ears?), but no, Sheamus does get a pretty huge face pop for the pinfall and title change. Seems like people liked the title change when it happened, but couldn’t get over the non-match and wasting of Daniel Bryan.

Blair: I wouldn’t go anywhere near the word huge, but yeah, of course he got a reaction. No one is saying he didn’t.

But think about how they chanted for Bryan during most of the Orton / Kane match, and then think about RAW.

Think about it.

All of you.

Just for a second.

How likely is it that most of a crowd… in unison… decided to start chanting for a HEEL, while deciding to boo the babyface… because they were upset about a short match?

Isn’t that kind of an odd method of protesting what happened, let alone for that amount of people?

 

Time has lost all meaning. This is the last one of these on Shaemus and Bryan that I’m doing.

Mike Gojira: Blair, I ask you to reserve judgment of Sheamus’s push until at least Extreme Rules. If the crowd remains firmly behind Daniel Bryan no matter what city he’s in and loudly boos Sheamus, then I will admit that Sheamus’s title run isn’t what many expected it to be.

Blair: Daniel Bryan and Shaemus are now, after WrestleMania – to me anyway – two separate issues. It was one thing when they were against each other. Now, it’s a bit different, especially if they aren’t facing each other again in the immediate future. As for Bryan, I don’t see his support dwindling anytime soon – watch SmackDown tonight, and let me know – I’ve read the spoilers. And Bryan is STILL talking shit about that girl. Still he gets “YES” chants all night long. As for Shaemus, his support, as I’ve said, has been tenuous for a long time, and what little he did have is now in jeopardy after being put against Bryan. And unless they involve Bryan in his feud, Shaemus’ reactions don’t really have all that much to do with Bryan anymore.

Buddy, you’re about a year late in asking me to reserve my judgement of Shaemus’ babyface push. Sorry. I’m not trying to be a pain in the ass. I’ve just never seen what most of you guys see. I just don’t. They’ve given him every possible opportunity as a babyface and as a heel and it still, to me, doesn’t seem to be working. I still see it as the Ken Anderson thing all over again.

 

Rock / Cena

Nic Super: They should have taken about 10 min off this match and given tat time to Daniel Bryan v. Sheamus. That could have been a *** match.

Blair: Holy shit. That physically hurt to read.

 

Cynical Bastard: He (Cena) actually put in the effort to strike a nerve with the people booing him for a change, which was great to see.

Blair: Yeah. If he did even just little things like this more often, then maybe people would stop calling for him to turn heel. At the very least, he’d be way less embarrassing to watch. Actually, I bet they’d get more people to cheer him if they just did a couple little things along those lines.

 

Scott Keith: My god, who would boo Machine Gun Kelly?  No friend of mine, that’s who.

Blair: Holy Christmas Keith, this better be sarcasm. I can’t tell. That guy was horrible, and “this is much more than a wrestling match” was one of the most embarrassing things he could have possibly said. No idea what they were thinking there. I literally cringed. Embarrassing.

 

Steven Gepp: Then we get some… Well, I guess it’s what the cool kids call music. This wasn’t fun, but did allow me to rush to the toilet.

Jerry Seinfeld: It was more like a full-body dry-heave set to music.

 

Steven Gepp: I wanted to hate this match just because of the way it was built and the way it had been promoted and everything else.

Blair: Oy.

 

Steven Gepp: It ran circles around Rock/Hogan at WM18.

Blair: I disagree with this. It had the same kind of vibe, but Rock / Hogan was way more fun to watch, especially with the crowd reactions, nostalgia, and back-and-forth stuff. That’s just me. I get what you’re saying, though.

 

Mike Gojira: The Rock vs John Cena was a good match, but not epic. It’s a great example of how overhyping can lower expectations. That’s why Hogan/Rock at Wrestlemania XVIII worked so well: no one expected it to be anything special, and it was never built as such.

Blair: Church.

 

Joel Leonard: At the very least this match needed to be a shoe in for match of the year. And you know what? It’ wasn’t even the match of the night.

Blair: Well, that’s just absurd. It was never going to be match of the year. It was never going to be match of the night. Look at the participants involved, look at the other matches on the card, and then look at past “Match Of The Year” pairings. It wasn’t really about a wrestling match. Just like that white rapper who isn’t Eminem or John Cena said before the match.

 

Scott Keith: Rock was a bit gassed, but he just went 30 minutes after being retired for years, can you blame him?

Blair: I wouldn’t have thought so. But apparently from reading the comments and articles around the site, some people can. How dare The Rock not continue training for a sport he doesn’t compete in anymore?

This leads into…

 

Shamam Of Hedon: Cena carried the Rock. Period.

Blair: There are comments like this all over the place. No idea what they’re based on. But let’s say that’s the case – I don’t know that it is or not, but let’s give you the benefit of the doubt. Does that mean Cena should have won? Look at all those people who carried Ultimate Warrior. You really thought Ted DiBiase should have beaten him a bunch of times?

 

Tyler: I still can’t believe Rock went over after Cena carried the match because the Rock was blown up after the arm drags. I felt cheated out of my $65 dollars, since the “classic” was anything but. Seriously, I was laughing the whole way through the main event because they had to keep doing rest holds so Rock could try to catch his breath. Cena only looked hit or miss technically cause he had to do all the lifting as Rock could not help him at all. Definitely a lackluster show that started with a dud and finished with a dud.

Blair: Right. As soon as Rock got tired, why didn’t Vince just go “ROCK, WHO IS NO LONGER A WRESTLER, IS TIRED?!?! THAT SON OF A BITCH!!! CHANGE THE FINISH!!!”

 

Ralph Hardin: It really just seems to me that Cena could have gotten the clean-but-hard-fought win and then received a handshake from the Rock that might have re-established Cena as a more universally-accepted face.

Blair: It really just seems to me that it should have occurred to more people that just MAYBE The Rock coming back was about something OTHER than passing the torch to John Cena? You know, stuff like making money for himself and WWE, and getting promotion for his movies?  Apparently some people assumed that he JUST came back because he REALLY liked this John Cena guy, who most people hated, and wanted to put him over. As if somehow that would be a worthy use of his time, given what sounds like an insanely busy movie schedule.

 

Alex Johnson: And yes, Cena carried Rock. It was far from the masterpiece that it was hyped up to be. Rock seemed soooo out of his element. Definitely not Wrestlemania Caliber. Especially after that HiaC.

Blair: I already addressed the “carried’ stuff. But what the fuck? Hyped as a masterpiece? Who did that? They said it was a huge match. NO one expected a masterpiece.

Listen carefully, you idiots. If you wanted Cena to win – fine. That’s cool. But don’t pretend that it’s because Rock got tired. Besides, Rock did a LOT more work in that match than Cena did. Cena did his same old routine of lame-looking moves. Rock hit some great moves – hard-hitting (DDT and other stuff), ariel (cross body), and hell, even a technical rollup. NO idea where the hell he busted that out from. It wasn’t like he NEEDED to do any of those things for the match to come off well. If he actually was tired – which is an idea based on nothing because he could have just been selling – it’s because Rock is not a full-time wrestler anymore. He hasn’t been for almost a decade. He left that behind to pursue a career that made him more money, got him more recognition and success, and was easier on his body.

But yeah, fuck The Rock, right? We can’t blame him enough for not wanting to to be successful without living a circus lifestyle.

Here’s the bottom line.

The Rock is not my favorite wrestler. He never was.

But he does not owe the WWE anything.

He does not owe the fans anything.

He gave back what he needed to give. He put over Brock. He put over Goldberg. He sort-of put over Orton. He lost MOST of the WrestleMania matches he wrestled. It’s not his fault that Cena sucks, and it’s not his responsibility to try and fix that.

 

Matthew Harrak: Did anyone really believe the celebrity was going to lose?

Blair: Okay, so this was a quote for the Divas match. But I felt like it applied here. So there you go.

 

Ralph Hardin: Now here’s the biggest head-scratcher for me? I just do not get putting Rock over Cena?

Blair: And we come to the center of the shrubbery maze.

Here are the Roundtable picks for Rock / Cena:

James Alsop: John Cena
Chris Sanders: The Rock
Steven Gepp: John Cena
Rhett Davis: John Cena
MC Brown: John Cena
CB: John Cena
Jonah Kue: John Cena
Mike Gojira: John Cena
Ralph Hardin: John Cena

EVERYONE (9 writers total) except Chris Sanders felt SURE that Cena would win. I’m not faulting anyone for picking Cena or anything – not in the least – but Alsop said the match was about passing the torch. It wasn’t. Gojira said that the entire point of the match was to give the fans an underdog to root for. It wasn’t. Davis said that Cena is the top guy in WWE and Rock knows it. That doesn’t have anything to do with anything, as Rock is not a regular WWE performer. Kue said that Cena NEEDED to win to stay relevant after the match. I don’t see how that’s the case. Hardin said there was NO reason why The Rock should win, because Cena is the face of the WWE. That doesn’t make any difference either, because Cena is the face of the WWE whether he wins or loses, and Rock is the star. That leads me to Sanders, the ONLY GUY on that Roundtable smart enough to take into account how much WWE has catered to The Rock in the past year.

I didn’t participate, but I did write in the comments before WrestleMania how I figured that Rock was going to win. I wanted Rock to win because I think Rock is better than Cena is ever capable of being. That said, I think either finish – Rock or Cena winning – could have worked. There’s any number of things they could have done.

But here’s what everyone forgot for some reason.

The Rock is a celebrity. A huge celebrity? No. A bigger celebrity than every single person on the WWE roster, combined, and then doubled? Yes. The guy is incredibly valuable to WWE.

On that merit alone, I figured that Rock would beat Cena. It’s not like Bam Bam Bigelow beat Lawrence Taylor. Big Show didn’t beat Floyd Mayweather. Chris Jericho didn’t beat Micky Rourke. Whoever it was that fought Snooki (I’m not looking it up) did not beat Snooki. Hell, that whore from Extra could have ACTUALLY shat herself mid-match and still would have beaten that one WWE Diva that everyone pretends is good.

Not only that, The Rock is one of the 3 biggest mega-stars that WWE has had, ever. The only other guys on that level are Hogan and Austin. MAYBE The Undertaker – and that’s a big maybe.

John Cena is – however much you like or dislike him – and I don’t dislike him – not ANY of those things.

So if I were a betting guy, 10 out of 10 times, my money goes on Rock. Again, I think there’s any number of things they could have done for a finish that would have worked. But given those facts, I can’t fathom why ANYone is actually, legitimately, surprised.

You guys are all crazy and weird.

All of you.

No worries though, I’d still totally do you. You crazies are all right!


That’s it for “Interinactivity” for this week. I hope everyone enjoyed. I worked hard on this one.

Remember to comment or shoot me and e-mail at bdouglas@insidepulse.com. I’m going to try to go back to not commenting on these, and just include all my responses when the next instalment goes up. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

I’ll be in my trailer.
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Air Up There: 03.30.2012 – WrestleMania XXVIII… “Buildup” And The Bottom Line http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/30/air-up-there-03-30-2012-wrestlemania-xxviii-buildup-and-the-bottom-line/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/30/air-up-there-03-30-2012-wrestlemania-xxviii-buildup-and-the-bottom-line/#comments Fri, 30 Mar 2012 10:00:49 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=139029 As any regular readers probably know, I tend not to watch a lot of wrestling on TV, except of course, TNA for the past few weeks, but hopefully that will be over soon. I normally read what was on the show and will YouTube the highlights. I bring this up because I normally DO watch the RAW’s leading up to WrestleMania. This year, I watched the first 2 weeks of the buildup after the Elimination Chamber PPV, but between being pretty bored by the show, as well as reading backlash on the site here about “buildup”, I decided to just black out on WWE until WrestleMania. The only WWE I’ve watched is the odd snippet, and I only know what’s going on because of Scott Keith’s RAW recaps.

WrestleMania, on the other hand, is likely a show I’ll always watch. That and Royal Rumble (although the last couple years might have cured me of my love for Royal Rumbles.) I kind of grew up on it, and if you’re going to watch ONE show in full, it may as well be WrestleMania.

The point is, I’ve been reading a LOT of bitching and moaning about the WrestleMania “buildup”. And it’s not that I disagree in all cases, but really, it’s no worse than the usual stuff that WWE does. This is why I just decided to not bother watching almost anything leading up to the PPV. During the course of a normal year, I pretty much do the same thing. PPV’s are the climax – WWE TV is a wrestling-related variety hour. The odd time, you’ll see something good. But PPV’s are where the wrestling matches… which is what all wrestling feuds by definition must lead up to… happen. And you don’t need to watch all this buildup because they show you the highlights before the matches anyway.

This got me to thinking – why bother WATCHING the buildup if you think what they’re doing is idiotic? Let’s say that you think the buildup for Punk / Jericho is dumb. Is that really going to impact your enjoyment of the match? Because if it is, just don’t watch it. Just watch the match.

 

Do you really think some of the most shit-tacular matches from the last decade could have been saved by better story-telling? What would have needed to be done to make the World Title match between Kozlov and Triple H good? How about this upcoming match between Orton and Kane? Or 95% of all Diva and Knockout matches?

You know that awesome Mark Henry title run that happened last year? The “buildup” for that whole thing… was actually pretty decent. And that’s very rare in wrestling these days. You know why it didn’t work? Because the end result involved Mark Henry having to wrestle when he can’t even BREATHE properly.

Take a look at Savage / Steamboat from WM3 – generally speaking, most people like that match. Do you ever hear anyone say “the buildup for that match is one of the best buildups of all time!” or “that match would have been nothing without the storyline!”. Of course not. That would be silly. The match is what was good. Steamboat was the fiery good guy. Savage was the huge asshole that everyone hated. That came across in the match without having to have watched a frame of either of them before that to enjoy it. And the match is the most important thing that there is. That’s what it all builds to.

Chris Benoit .vs. Triple H .vs. Shawn Michaels was the main event of WrestleMania 20. That match is praised as a great wrestling main-event, and one of the only good Triple Threats of all time. The buildup for that match involved Shawn Michaels getting into the match by superkicking Chris Benoit in the face and signing a contract that didn’t have his name on it in the first place.

Hulk Hogan .vs. The Rock is going to go down as one of the biggest WrestleMania matches of all time. Generally speaking, most people like that match. The crowd went more absolutely unglued batshit insane for that match than any match I’ve EVER seen in wrestling. Do you think that crowd lit up because of a storyline that involved Hulk Hogan driving a mack truck through The Rock’s ambulance? Or because they had Rock no-sell the injury and be back in the ring in 2 weeks? Of course not. They liked it because Hogan and Rock played that crowd like a fiddle.

 

I tried to take different kinds of matches to make my point. But really, those are just a few examples. Listen, I’m not saying buildup can’t help a match. It absolutely can. But you can’t throw a fat fuck like Mark Henry in there with an untalented fuck like The Miz and expect anything but disaster. It doesn’t matter how good the “buildup” is or how good either is “on the mic”. Once they get in there, they pretty much don’t have any of that to fall back on. I don’t care if they’re fighting for a fucking rocket launcher. It’s going to suck. There’s literally no way around it.

One more thing before I go – I’m not ripping on the people who write wrestling shows. They’ve got a tough job. Consider that your average series that doesn’t get cancelled will sometimes go between 5-10 years. That’s a long time to do shows and not run out of ideas. Wrestling has been going on forever, and they have 10-12 hours of content a week. You can only find so many reasons for guys to get in tights and wrestle without rehashing old stuff or running out of ideas.

Obviously, if you ENJOY the wrestling TV shows and how they build storylines, then hey, Bob’s your uncle. For myself, I don’t enjoy about 90% of what they put out in that department. That’s why I don’t bother watching much of the TV and will focus on where the matches (that aren’t 3 minutes long) happen. That’s my personal preference, and I’m not suggesting that everyone likes the same stuff. What I’m suggesting is that if you don’t like the programming, stop watching the fucking show.

I’ve seen people who enjoy Chris Jericho and CM Punk say that they’re now NOT looking forward to the match because of whatever they’ve done with the buildup. This is just one of those things that wrestling fans do that I just can’t understand. Like, say you saw the match and it was great. Does that erase what, in your opinion, is a bad storyline? Or do you actually enjoy it less while it’s happening because you don’t like that Jericho said something about Punk’s dad? I’m legit curious.

Either way, despite how generally bad and boring WWE’s programming can be… I would suggest to any of you that they usually find a way to make WrestleMania a pretty decent show, by hook or by crook. Last year was the worst one I’d seen in a long time, but that doesn’t happen all that often. So just sit back and enjoy it. I think that Punk / Jericho is going to be great. And I’m sure that Rock / Cena, if it isn’t good, will probably at least be really fun to watch. Triple H / Undertaker… well, that remains to be seen.

You know what I’m looking most forward to? Shaemus. You guys spent months telling me how Shaemus was gonna be huge after this show. You were all so sure. So I’m looking very forward to seeing how they make that happen.

 

I won’t be covering WrestleMania in any capacity, I will be travelling to the US this weekend on a non-WrestleMania-related matter. I’m in a hotel that I won’t be paying for, so I can watch WrestleMania on hotel PPV without having to pay for it. (I don’t pay for PPV’s.) I’m planning on enjoying it, or not enjoying it – but either way, I will not be worrying about who called who a kung-pow whatever.

This has been “Air Up There”. Thanks for reading, have a good weekend, and enjoy WrestleMania.

I’ll be in my trailer.
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That Being Said: TNA Impact Wrestling Report for 03.29.2012 – Hulk Hogan, Sting, Bobby Roode http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/29/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-29-2012-hulk-hogan-sting-bobby-roode/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/29/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-29-2012-hulk-hogan-sting-bobby-roode/#comments Fri, 30 Mar 2012 03:00:52 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=138955 This week, I’m a bit pressed for time. I’m going through TNA at RECORD speed. Part of this is because I have a half-column I’m working on for tomorrow, and part of it is because TNA is… you know, terrible. Last week was just unbelievable.

TNA Impact Wrestling

Bobby Roode still sucks. He bought the Orlando Police department. Or something. They came down to the ring with him and did everything he said. TNA must pay more than we think. Storm comes out and talks. He tries to fight Roode. Bully Ray jumps him from behind and the cops did nothing. Storm kicks Ray’s ass and the cops did nothing. Roode bails. The cops do absolutely nothing. They just left. Storm wants to fight Roode and Ray at once.

Heroin Girl doesn’t want to be friends with Gail Kim anymore. So Gail Kim got her a crown, because Heroin Girl is her queen. Heroin Girl is happy now.

 

Heroin Queen .vs. Velvet Skye

I don’t think so.

Winner: Joseph Hargrove

After the match, Velvet got a microphone and didn’t perform as well as I assumed she would in front of a phallicly-shaped device.

 

They show Dixie and Hulk Hogan talking, via a camera that is spying on them while they are on a park bench. Creepy. Dixie continues playing the dumb girl role that she’s been practicing for years. They spend 3 minutes of airtime talking about nothing, and all we get out of it is that Hulk will be on Impact tonight.

Kurt Angle hates Jeff Hardy. And he hates his kid. Angle wants Hardy to fight Ken Anderson.

Austin Aries comes out. Tenay says he is taking time from Crimson .vs. Matt Morgan. So he’s clearly the biggest babyface in TNA. Anyway, he’s mad at Bully Ray. He wants to team up with Storm against Ray and Roode.

 

Matt Morgan .vs. Crimson

The ring could not contain such awesome wrestling. Double-count out.

Winner: No One

 

Jeff Hardy .vs. Ken Anderson

Fucking awesome matches tonight. Jeff Hardy painted eyeballs on his eyelids. The commentary for these matches is mostly involving talking about how Hulk Hogan will show up and talk to Sting and Dixie again.

Winner: Ken Anderson

 

James Storm Music Video

So this is an actual thing, but it turns out that James Storm doesn’t sing a line of this song. Another guy sings it, but at one point Storm DOES lip-synch. The music video features Storm drinking in a bar mixed with random wrestling shots. At one point, a guy in a bar harasses this girl and Storm doesn’t like that. So he talks to the guy. Then more wrestling shots. Later on, he drinks with the girl-harassing guy. Until that guy passes out. Then some slut gives Storm a room key so he says goodbye to his buddies before going to fuck her. They then show him driving his truck, because it’s not like we just watched him consume no less than 20 drinks and shots. The confederate flag is painted over his rear windshield. Awesome stuff.

Twenty stars.

 

Eric Young is planning his wedding. He’s got a wedding planner. They work out some details. This proves to be a challenge because Eric Young is retarded. Also because the wedding planner seems to want some dick. ODB eventually kicks the wedding planner out and says they’re getting married in a steel cage.

 

Eric Bischoff is here. So is Garrett Bischoff. Bischoff wants Garrett to leave. Garrett isn’t leaving. Garrett is going to fight Gunner in a cage at LockDown. Awesome. That went really well last time.

James Storm training montage.

 

James Storm & Austin Aries .vs. Bobby Roode & Bully Ray

This one wasn’t bad. I guess. Especially compared to everything else on the show. Crowd very much behind Aries. Storm pins Ray.

Winners: James Storm & Austin Aries

 

Dixie comes out. Hogan comes out. The commentary in every single match tonight has built this up. I legit can’t believe that Hulk Hogan and Sting are the central focus of a wrestling show. In 2012. That’s absolutely amazing to me.

Hogan and Dixie talk. Sting comes out with babyfaces in tow. It’s the speech you would expect, until Hogan talks about how TNA is in serious trouble. That was pretty funny. Hogan accepts. He runs TNA now. Again.

Show over.

 

That’s it for this week. “Air Up There” goes up tomorrow. Thanks for reading, have a good weekend, and enjoy WrestleMania.

I’ll be in my trailer.
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WWE Veteran Endorses ROH & DGUSA http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/29/wwe-veteran-endorses-roh-dgusa/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/29/wwe-veteran-endorses-roh-dgusa/#comments Fri, 30 Mar 2012 02:45:07 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=138985 WWE veteran wrestler/announcer/authority figure William Regal tweeted Wednesday, “I’m looking forward to #wwehof and #wrestlemania. Over the weekend there’s some other great Pro Wrestling in Miami. ROH and Dragongate. Check them out. There’s a good chance some of WWE’s future stars may be competing there.”
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Inside Pulse Exclusive Interview with DGUSA Champion Johnny Gargano http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/27/inside-pulse-exclusive-interview-with-dgusa-champion-johnny-gargano/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/27/inside-pulse-exclusive-interview-with-dgusa-champion-johnny-gargano/#comments Tue, 27 Mar 2012 14:09:45 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=138836

 

I recently had the tremendous opportunity to speak with Dragon Gate USA’s Open The Freedom Gate Champion Johnny Gargano about a slew of different topics. He spoke bluntly about his recent injury, his desire to make it the WWE or TNA and the pride he has in working for DGUSA. Read the complete interview below and be sure to check out his title defense March 31st at Mercury Rising 2012 against Masato Yoshino only on WWNLive.com!

Matthew Harrak: Well the first thing I have to ask you is about the back. Obviously it was a very frightening injury that could have ended your career and yet you still finished the match! Do you remember thinking something might be seriously wrong so let’s get out of here or was the adrenaline just too high for you to fathom ending the match soon?

Johnny Gargano: I don’t remember much of the match, honestly. I knew something was obviously wrong but it never crossed my mind to just stop. I don’t like letting people down. Whether that’s ridiculously stupid or not… that’s just not the type of person I am. I had a job to do and I was going to do it. The little adrenaline I had carried me through the match. But as soon as the bell rang and the match was over, it was done. The pain was absolutely indescribable.

MH: Is this something you are fearful of when you get in the ring now? Have you had to adjust your style at all in order to not have to go through that pain again?

JG: Eh. You never know. It’s always in the back of your mind. Injuries and pain are just a part of the job. I’ve been around professional wrestling in some way shape or form since I was 8 years old. I know the risks involved. And you have to ask yourself,  “Is it worth it?” I love wrestling. I always have and I always will. Does it take a toll on my body? Of course! But I feel if you truly love something, it’s always worth it.

MH: As you’ve mentioned before, you’ve achieved your dream of becoming a World champion and in one of the fastest growing promotions in the country. I know your focus is probably only in defending the title right now but are WWE or TNA on the radar? Is that the “ultimate” goal?

JG: Oh definitely. I think when you’re a kid with a dream of becoming a “Professional Wrestler” your ultimate goal is always to work for the WWE. I’m no different. To me, that’s the place to be. I’m only 24 years old, so I feel I have plenty of time. My game plan has always been to go the route of a CM Punk or Bryan Danielson. Do everything you possibly can in independent professional wrestling and when you’re ready, the time is right, and things work out, you get a chance to go to WWE. I feel that all that experience really benefits you in the long run.

MH: Has there been any communication between you and either of the Big 2? With Daniel Bryan and CM Punk both as World champions, you would think they would be reaching out to guys with a similar style.

JG: I’ve gotten the opportunity to work with both WWE and TNA throughout the past few years. It’s always an honor and pleasure. The first time I actually did something… or should I say “Cedrick Von Haussen” did something with WWE… I was only 20 years old. Which is crazy when I think about it now.

MH: “Cedrick Von Haussen”? Wow I’m guessing you didn’t choose that name for yourself. Who did?

JG: I did not. I was the Lichtenstein Heavyweight Champion! I have no idea who actually came up with the name though.

MH: Ok well that’s a new concept.

Now you have a trio of shows coming up during WrestleMania weekend, I believe. And one match I know you are defending your title against Masato Yoshino. What can fans expect from these events & how much pressure is put on the wrestlers since it is WrestleMania weekend?

JG: WrestleMania Weekend is the Mecca of Professional Wrestling. Fans from all over the world will converge on Miami to get their wrestling fix. It’s a really cool atmosphere! I strive off that stuff, man. I couldn’t think of a better time or place to have my first few matches back. Guys always look to steal the show and bring there A Game for the fans that weekend. Dragon Gate USA is the most exciting, innovative brand in Pro Wrestling right now, I’d say. As a wrestler, and as a Pro Wrestling fan in general, I’m ridiculously excited to be a part of it.

MH: What is your favorite WrestleMania match?

JG: Man… I have a lot. All of them involve Shawn Michaels. The Ironman Match holds a special place in my heart. HBK vs Chris Jericho does as well. That was a dream match of mine for a long time. Then Shawn’s last two matches with The Undertaker were absolutely phenomenal.

MH: Now for those fans who know about DGUSA but haven’t been to a show, what can they expect from the experience?

JG: They can expect some of the hardest hitting, fastest paced, and insanely innovative professional wrestling they’ve ever seen before in their lives… brought to you by a group of some of the most dedicated athletes around. I’ve been on almost every DGUSA show from the start and I’m still blown away by the amount of talent we have every single show. You have some of the best talent from Japan mixed with the best talent from America pouring their hearts out in the ring for the fans’ entertainment. That sounds like one heck of a show to me!
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That Being Said: TNA Impact Wrestling Report for 03.22.2012 – Hulk Hogan, Sting, Bobby Roode http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/22/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-22-2012-bobby-roode-bully-ray-sting/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/22/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-22-2012-bobby-roode-bully-ray-sting/#comments Fri, 23 Mar 2012 03:10:51 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=138394 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another amazing recap, by me, your TEMPORARY TNA Recapper, Blair A. Douglas. After the first few weeks when a replacement still hadn’t arrived, I assumed that maybe I had just gone through my entire life to this point, misunderstanding what “temporary” meant. But it turns out that the dictionary defines “temporary” as: “That which is to last for a limited time; as, a temporary statute, or one which is limited in its operation for a particular period of time after its enactment the opposite of perpetual.” So I can only assume that the wonderful management team here at this wonderful website known as Inside Pulse are working tirelessly at this very moment to bring in some reinforcements.

In the meantime, I’ve been taking some of the load off by having some guest hosts. Not lame stuff like Muppets or Dennis Miller, but my personal favorite Inside Pulse writer and yours, our very own mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a puzzle… FD Swayze!

FD Swayze: Thanks Blair, for letting me be apart of this great review. Obviously everyone in the world is excited to see the next installment of the new Batman movie! This is going to be great!!! I don’t know how you got a copy of this movie early, or why SPIKE is airing it after this JAIL show, or why you would be reviewing it on the Wrestling division of Inside Pulse, but…

… Blair, is that the TNA Impact Intro I’m watching?

… Batman is totally on his way and stuff.

You’re a dick, Blair.

Before we get started, let’s hear my…

 

New Rules

New Rule #1: If someone appears on a wrestling show after a 2-3 week absence, it doesn’t really count as a “return”.

New Rule #2: Just because Eric Bischoff is a dick doesn’t mean that some of his dick-ish statements aren’t true.

New Rule #3: If John Cena ACTUALLY has any “personal problems” with The Rock, which I seriously doubt, they’ll blow over as soon as he gets his WrestleMania check. Speaking of blow, Cena would likely do just that to The Rock for the kind of money he will make off the last year.

New Rule #4: No one besides Joseph Hargrove is going to care if there’s no Diva match at WrestleMania.

New Rule #5: If both WWE and TNA care anything for Ric Flair, they’ll let him go to the Hall Of Fame. That’s really all there is to it. If there’s ever been a time that TNA needs to just give their heads a shake and realize that it’s not going to hurt them, since they’re not any kind of legit competition for WWE, then this is it. Not only is it completely harmless, not only is the induction going to be extremely hollow without him, but more than any of that – we all know how badly Ric needs the payday.

 

TNA Impact! Wrestling

Swayze’s got the matches, I’ve got everything else.

As the show opens, they recap Sting / Roode from the PPV. Which is good, because I didn’t watch the PPV. Watching this, it appears that avoiding TNA was once again the right decision. Apparently, for their main-event finish, they somewhat faked a botch? Or something? I don’t know. Typical TNA main event nonsense. Then Roode threatened Dixie Carter for some reason. I don’t know why. Sting made the save, then Roode laid him out and threatened Dixie some more. He like… pushes her around. He doesn’t seem to have any kind of end-game here. Tenay and Taz talk about how hard this is to watch, yet no one comes out to help her. It goes on for like 5 minutes. This is stupid.

Anyway, Dixie is in the back. Apparently she has some sort of announcement for tonight. I don’t know why she wouldn’t just fire him.

Opening credits.

Here comes Dixie Carter. Fans chant for her. She’s emotional, apparently. Bobby Roode’s generic-as-shit heel routine has taken it’s toll on her. People who thought they were in line for the Back To The Future ride chant “fire Bobby”. I don’t know why she wouldn’t just fire everyone who didn’t come out to help her. Anyway, Dixie has talked to her attorneys, and some other people, trying to figure out the best thing to do. Sting’s music hits. He comes out and gives Dixie a hug. He says that firing Bobby is letting him off easy. Sting wants revenge. The crowd chants that they want revenge. Sting then says he needs to talk about the GM position, because this “isn’t working”. The crowd chants “please don’t go.”

Then we go to commercial. In the middle of this segment.

And we’re back. Sting says he did his best but at Victory Road, something happened with this company – HE CAME ALIVE!!! TNA CAME ALIVE!!! That’s actually what he said. And Dixie got emotional. The crowd chants “you still got it” and Sting says he CAN’T DO BOTH!!! These two hours a week are killing him. So Sting wants to be a “full-time” wrestler now – he gets all fired up. THEN he says he’s got a concussion and is going home… BUT he’s going to come back better than ever! Dixie is still crying. This is embarrassing. Sting says he’s resigning as GM. Dixie tearfully asks “what am I supposed to do?!?!” like she doesn’t have a ton of old wrestlers in the back. Sting says he has a replacement, someone who can take TNA to the top and who will devote 100% of his time to the company.

It’s Hulk Hogan. That just might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Didn’t Hogan steal the company from her like a year ago? Dixie is upset. She’s crying. Sting grabs her and says she has to trust him. Dixie tearfully says she trusts him.

If Dixie doesnt kick him in the balls, she’s the stupidest TV character ever.

In the back, Bully Ray is pacing. He says he’s not taking hostages tonight. He says he’s going to run down everyone in his way.

 

4-Way X-Division Championship Match
Austin Aries .vs. Zema Ion .vs. Austin Aries .vs. Elliot Neese

My money is on Elliot Nesse. He took down Capone. They do commercials in between the intros because the people who produce this show are horrible. I wasn’t a big fan of Kid Kash in ECW, but I loved his first TNA run. His gimmick was bringing out this girl and slapping the shit out of her while the fat ladies in the crowd yelled out for his blood. It was great. Aries? He’s cool. Zema Ion? Reminds me of that crappy dink ZIMA. So screw that guy.

These four guys…they are jumping all over the place. You’ve seen these matches before. Zema did like some kind of gang sign thing before he did a backflip off the apron onto some other guys. That’s stupid. He’s not in a gang.

Tower Of Doom spot. Do you know the first TNA match that took place in? Also, do you know who actually invented it? Like was it used somewhere before TNA did it? I know the first TNA match it occured in, but I’m not sure if someone else didn’t actually pull it off first somewhere else. Sound off in the comments I guess if you know.

Bubba Ray comes down and beats up everyone. So this was all a waste of time. Awesome. This is fucking easy.

Winner: No One As Usual

Bully Ray introduces himself for any Alzheimers patients in the crowd.

Mexican America is in the back. The guy from a repo reality show is about to tow their car. I swear to God I didn’t make that up. The guy asks him a question, and says they can get their car back if they get it right. So he asks them questions, that just happen to be about Mexico. Anarquia gets the first one right, the second one wrong, and the third question illustrates his inability to spell. The repo guy says he’s towing their car. Anarquia says that when they win their matches tonight, they will pay the repo guy to save their car. Because TNA pays in cash as soon as the wrestlers leave the ring. And either wrestlers or Mexicans or both are retards who can’t make their car payments. Hilariously though, the repo guy ends the segment by being like “Uh… okay, fine. Go do your… wrestling thing.”

Commercial.

 

TNA Knockout Tag-Team Title / Possible Car Reposession Match
ODB & Eric Young .vs. Sarita & Rosita

Eric Young is in the women’s division now? They are doing a wedding thing? Wow. I was expecting nothing, and all of that was certainly something. Just…wow.

So the match starts with one Rosita and ODB. I know it’s Rosita because she has written her name clearly on her ass, which I admittedly am staring at. They aren’t really wrestling. Just alot of pushing and shoving. Now Sarita is in, and she’s just droppin’ some serious elbows. Eric Young is a woman now? Does he fight the other girls?

Well let’s find out! He just tagged in. He does some cartwheels. He does some more cartwheels. He is stripping. He is getting hit on by Sarita and Rosita. It’s working. ODB is jealous so she beats up the two girls. Now she’s mad at Eric. Because they are getting married.

Somebody’s getting married! Somebody’s getting married? Somebody’s gettin, somebody’s gettin, somebody’s gettin’…oh wait, Eric just pinned Rosita I think. That was for some kind of title possibly, but who can be sure with Eric Young. Maybe Eric Young is some kind of prodigy that is so amazing winning the title and being the star of the show is almost boring to him. So he goes out of his way to challenge himself.

TNA PRODUCER: Eric, we were thinking about running you against Roode, and eventually having you take the title. We really want to start focusing the show around you.

ERIC YOUNG: Screw that man. Listen to this idea! Put me in the women’s division.

TNA PRODUCER: You can’t fight the girls!

ERIC YOUNG: Exactly.

TNA PRODUCER: My God… that’s… BRILLIANT! Maybe we can stack a wedding angle onto it.

ERIC YOUNG: It will be my Revolution #9.

Yeah, that’s probably what happened. I thought the match was ridiculous, so I guess I’m stupid? That means…that match was good? 4.23 stars then. Not quite a quarter.

Winners: It’s an Eric Young match, so it’s hard to say.

They make out.

At one point during the match, Tenay asked Taz what he was getting ODB and Eric Young for their wedding. Taz said that they’d be lucky if he sent a tweet. That was awesome.

During the match, TNA cameras caught up with Dixie Carter and Sting. We’ll get to see yet more of that fun stuff… after the commercial.

 

After the commercial, we show Crimson turning on Morgan at the PPV. Now Crimson is watching Matt Morgan Direct Auto Insurance commercials. Who pays insurance in CASH? Crimson says that Matt Morgan is trying to launch his “Hollywood Career”… with insurance commercials. Holy shit. That physically hurt to hear. Anyway, Crimson is mad because Matt Morgan started “cluttering” his life. Crimson is happy. Until Matt Morgan shows up and kicks his ass, and yells at him that he’s done.

We recap the EMOTION from earlier tonight between Sting and Dixie. Backstage, Dixie says that she understands what Sting means, but doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do and doesn’t know what’s going on. You’d think she’d be used to this kind of thing by now.

Commercial.

 

Backstage, Jeff Hardy talks about Kurt Angle beating him by cheating on Sunday. Hardy wants him in a cage match. Abyss’ brother shows up and introduces himself. Abyss’ brother says his “research” shows that Hardy and himself had a lot of brutal matches in TNA. He asks Jeff if he knows where Abyss is. Hardy doesn’t.

Storm / Roode video package.

Storm comes out to a nice reaction. Storm doesn’t like that football should only be 18 months long, he thinks it should be year-round. Storm doesn’t like that families can work 40 hours a week but can’t go on vacation because gas is expensive.

Is this like Redneck Seinfeld?

Storm says that Roode was wrong for what he did to Sting and to Dixie. He then tells Roode that he’s looking at the next World Champion. He calls Roode out. Some guy in a suit comes out.

It’s an hour in?!?! I’ve only done two matches. This is awesome!

Storm asks who he is. The guy says he’s William Kelly. He’s Roode’s legal advisor. He talks like a wrestler. William says that Roode is staying in Toronto until further notice because TNA has created an unsafe working environment. He says he’ll be at the PPV. Two wrestlers have contacted Roode about facing Storm – Daniels and Kazarian. Storm gets to choose who he fights. Or he could just tell this guy to fuck right off. But dumb redneck that he is, Storm is going to fight both of them at once so that he doesn’t have to worry about it next week. Storm wants a pen so he can write a message to Roode. He can’t find a pen. So he kicks the lawyer in the face and gives his catchphrase.

Backstage, Angle cuts another promo on Jeff Hardy. Angle says he never loses. The camera guy says that a few weeks ago, Garrett won the 5-minute challenge. Angle goes “WHO SAID THAT?!!” and the camera guy is like “We saw it, druggie. It was on TV. We were all there.” Angle goes “OH REALLY?!?!” Then he finds Garrett and asks if he’s been telling people that he beat Angle. Garrett is like “I did beat you, dumbass.” and Angle just keeps being drunk. It’s like all the time now. Angle says he wants to fight him again. Garrett says okay. Angle says he hates him and walks off. Segment over.

Commercial.

 

YES!!! A MATCH!!!

3-Minute Challenge Match
Garrett Bischoff .vs. Kurt Angle

We continue the trend of having matches that aren’t really matches here on the show where ‘Wrestling Matters’. This is like some kind of three minute challenge. Given what we saw of Angle backstage, it’s apparent he’s drunk. So this should be fun. They have a little clock and everything.

Oh wait, it’s gone. It’s back now. Nothing to talk about really. Nothing is happening. Two minutes left. Bischoff’s kid explodes! He does all kinds of clotheslines. He goes for the pin. One…two… IT WAS SO CLOSE! I thought for sure Angle was going to lose to like five seconds of offense.

Angle smacks him and clotheslines him over the ropes. Now Bischoff’s kid is waiting outside. How could TNA ruin this? Like it’s just three minutes. They can’t do something stupid every three minutes can they?

Yes they can! Gunner runs down and beats on Garrett’s kid. We got a disqualification in a three minute nothing challenge where the first minute was literally nothing. That was over before the three minute mark. I know because of the clock on the screen they could only get to work for about thirty seconds. Then Jeff Hardy runs out. And Angle and Gunner, who have already beaten the crap out of Eric’s kid, run in terror of him. Of Jeff ‘AH’M STILL STANDIN TAYKUR’ Hardy? TNA, you have really outdone yourselves. Bravo.

Winner: Garrett Bischoff 

Jeff Hardy helps Garrett up.

Tenay says Hulk Hogan is on his way to the Impact Zone. Because like Sting says, he will devote 100% to TNA. As long as that doesn’t involve showing up for the first 75% of the show.

Commercial. 5th Assketball commercial so far tonight.

Pretty cool MotorCity MachineGuns ad.

 

TNA World Tag-Team Title / Possible Car Repossession Match
Hernandez & Anarquia (w/ Sarita & Rosita) .vs. Magnus & Samoa Joe 

This is what Samoa Joe does now? This is the result of all those pushes?!?

There seems to be alot of anger and rage these days. You know what it is? Well, this may seem hard to believe, but it’s because of cellphones. Surprised? See, when we had the big phones where they sat on a big receiver, when you were angry at someone you were talking to, you could just slam down the phone. Slamming that phone down was actually letting people release alot of stress.

These days, we just have to push a button or flip a piece of plastic. It doesn’t give you that same relief or release of stress that we so desperately need. According to a survey I just made up, crime is up 98% since the rampant takeover of the cellphone on our everyday lives. Where to get that stress release? It’s simple. Legallize abuse of the elderly. I mean, they are old anyway. Right?

That was just something I was thinking about during this match instead of paying attention to it like I should have been. Sorry. I think Samoa Joe and Magnus won.

Winners & Still TNA World Tag-Team Champions: Samoa Joe & Magnus

Backstage, someone asks Hogan what he thinks about being GM. Hogan says he has no idea what they’re talking about. He’s only there because Sting called him. He doesn’t watch Impact either apparently. 100%.

Commercial.

 

Repo guy takes the girls out to the parking lot… and sets them down. Hernandez and Anarquia chase him out and beg him not to take the car. He says he’s taking the car. Anarquia tries to punch him. He misses. Then for some reason, the repo guy walks PAST his truck… WITH the Mexican girls, who apparently have done a complete 180 without any indication up until now. One of them says something along the lines of “no money, no honey”. What the fuck?!?!

Commercial.

 

James Storm country-music video package.

James Storm .vs. Kazarian & Christopher Daniels

Storm comes out swinging. He’s doing good for a bit. But it’s two guys, so he starts getting beat up. I think Storm only had to face one of these guys. But he specifically wanted a handicap match. It wasn’t a punishment or anything. And now he’s getting beat up.

Daniels and Kaz are arguing. I have no idea why. They are winning. Well, they were winning. Something tells me after this argument they won’t be. And…Daniels dives into the post. Superkick. It’s over.

Winner: James Storm

Backstage, Sting, Dixie Carter and Hulk Hogan are all on their way to the ring.

Commercial.

 

Sting comes out. Dixie Carter comes out to a really terrible theme song, even though she didn’t have a theme song earlier. Sting says he’s known Hogan for 20 years… but… and I swear to God this is what he said… during the LAST SIX MONTHS, we’ve seen the real Hulk Hogan. Sting’s looked into his eyes. Sting has looked into his heart. Sting has looked into his soul. Dixie says that it’s been her and Sting from the beginning (it hasn’t) and that Sting has never let her down (he has) and that if Sting trusts Hogan, then Dixie trusts Sting. She says let’s go for it.

Hogan comes out. Crowd chants. Sting gets the crowd to chant some more. Hogan looks teary.

And… show over. Hogan didn’t say anything. The 100% effort that Sting promised doesn’t include talking.

 

Did she fall for this? Think about this for a second. The story is that Hogan tried to steal this company and went to her house, had her thrown out of buildings and had guys beat up her husband. Multiple times.

Bobby Roode on the other hand, almost hit a guy with a chair after he had a match with him. And she needs HOGAN, who did all of the above, to pay back Roode in a “better” way somehow, rather than just firing him or ignoring him, or just making a match for him against 10 guys who would just beat the shit out of him. That was like watching two con men work a prison.

It also bears mentioning that Sting, along with Kevin Nash, ABANDONED Dixie Carter to Hulk Hogan after he took over the show with Bischoff. So he actually has let her down. In a major way. I’m just saying.

 

Well, that’s it for another amazing TNA Impact Wrestling recap. Even moreso than usual, this was a complete Aligator Fuckhouse. It’s like the show is a sentient being in itself, that is just on speed.

I’d like to thank my man FD Swayze for joining me. Remember to comment, e-mail bdouglas@insidepulse.com, or follow me on Twitter @BlairADouglas. This has been “That Being Said”. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

I’ll be in my trailer.
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Rabblecast #267 Florida Championship Wrestling Closing Down? http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/22/rabblecast-267-florida-championship-wrestling-closing-down/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/22/rabblecast-267-florida-championship-wrestling-closing-down/#comments Fri, 23 Mar 2012 00:01:25 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=138512 Wrestlemania, Wrestlemania, Wrestlemania. Everyone is clamoring for WWE‘s biggest offering of the year. What matche(s) are you looking forward to? Rock vs John Cena? Triple H vs Undertkaer? Chris Jeric?ho vs CM Punk? Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan? What happens after Wrestlemania 28 is another questions being asked. WWE’s Developmental territory, Florida Championship Wrestling(FCW) is rumored to be closing down. There are supposed to be a bunch of new talent to be called up to the main roster. Will they survive the transition?

TNA recently held their Victory Road 2012 PPV. Was it enough to steal away event he smallest of attention from WWE‘s building momentum? Kurt Angle talks about his Olympic dreams. With Qualifying rounds coming up just a week before the upcoming TNA Lockdown 2012 PPV, will Kurt Angle be able to do both?

We also have your regular dose of Independent Wrestling news(FCW, PWG, IWP, DGUSA). Find out who is the New PWG Champion!

The Rabblecast, bringing you wrestling the way you want it!

 

On this week’s show:

  • Is a WWE return in the cards for A-Train?
  • Former WWF Wrestler Damien Demento’s Art show
  • An Independent Wrestler from Ohio stops a stabbing?
  • Cypress and R.J. Gerhart of UWA Elite join us in studio

 

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That Being Said: TNA Impact Wrestling Report for 03.15.2012 – Bobby Roode, Bully Ray, Sting http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/15/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-15-2012-bobby-roode-bully-ray-sting/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/15/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-15-2012-bobby-roode-bully-ray-sting/#comments Fri, 16 Mar 2012 03:00:48 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=137699 Before we get started, I have something to say.

Last week on Air Up There, I put up a fake link to MyDaughtersFuckingHulkHogan.com.

I was staggered to learn that several people actually clicked on it.

You guys are sick, disgusting little perverts.

All of you are sick.

Ah, I’m just kidding. You sickos are all right!

Moving on.

 

TNA Impact

We see Sting and Roode showing up to the arena, and Tenay tells us that they’re doing a contract signing. He also says the PPV is this Sunday. They show a video package of Sting getting all CRAZY.

James Storm comes out to his song that is totally going to be all over radio stations soon. I like Storm and all, but that isn’t going to happen. He talks about Roode, and says that the world has too many takers and not enough givers. The crowd starts chanting “Cowboy”. He gives his catchphrase, and Bully Ray comes out and cuts a promo. Storm wants to fight him, and Ray wants Storm to kiss his calves. Storm gets out of the ring and wants to fight. Ray stalls. Ray says he won’t fight Storm, but that he will fight Gunner.

I’m not totally sure this is a match. Neither guy is dressed, and I don’t know that Ray can make matches. Anyway, they start brawling. Security comes out and separates them. Ray then takes a cheap-shot at Storm, then Ray and Gunner leave.

 

Gail Kim and the Madison Rayne girl are talking over each other. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, GIRLS!!! I can’t understand ONE WORD these bitches are staying. Sting tells them to shut up because he has to deal with all the stress of signing a piece of paper that commits him to a match that he’s already agreed to. But he makes Gail Kim fight Mickie James, and he makes Madison do something too. I don’t know what he’s making her do because they started talking over each other as soon as he said it. Then he was all “fuck it” and walked off. Segment over.

 

Madison Rayne .vs. Velvet Sky

Sting is a harsh taskmaster. Wrestling Velvet Sky is some rough punishment. But so is wrestling Madison Rayne. So Sting must hate Velvet too. Madison still looks like a heroin addict.

Winner; Heroin Girl

You know what’s awesome? These girls can’t even get choked properly. I mean:

1) Clutch at throat
2) Gasp for air

You’d think they’d have had practice gagging from their performance evaluations.

Backstage, Crimson and Matt Morgan are talking while they show something that happened last week. I guess Crimson scored a pinfall for the team after Morgan did his finisher. Morgan appears to have an issue with this, but then says that all he wants to do is win matches for the team. Which is what Crimson did. So then WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS… you know what, fuck it, because then they go straight to bromancing, with all the promo skill you’ve come to expect from these two.

 

Crimson (w/ Matt Morgan) .vs. Samoa Joe (w/ Magnus)

Never seen this match before! About 6 people chant for Crimson. This was a pretty lame match. At one point, Morgan tried to trip up Joe, which is odd as I thought they were the good guys. Otherwise, this was just like all their other matches, with Joe trying to turn it into a wrestling match and Crimson digging his heels in every step of the way. At one point, they replayed Crimson doing a neckbreaker of all things. Joe gets a couple near-falls, and actually has some of the crowd behind him. Crimson then hits a spine buster for two, and starts arguing with the ref. Then he runs right into a Joe toss, but Morgan gets up on the apron. Magnus tries to stop him, but gets tossed into the steps. Morgan then chokes Joe over the rope, and Crimson hits his finisher for the win. Again, I thought Morgan and Crimson were the good guys.

Winner: Crimson

I bet this is the start of a huge push for Samoa Joe in TNA.

Backstage, Austin Aries is WALKING!

Commercial. Matt Morgan wants a low DOWN PAYMENT on his AUTO INSURANCE. Since when is there a DOWN PAYMENT for AUTO INSURANCE? I’ve had auto insurance for a long time and I’ve NEVER had to put a down payment up. Then again, I don’t take 5-Hour Energy Shots either. Maybe they just wanted to get him out of there since he was in his underwear.

 

Austin Aries is in the ring. He’s the longest-running X-Division Champion of all time. Apparently there have been 53 champions, including him. He shows a music-video highlighting his reign. It is one of the shittiest sounding songs I’ve ever had in my ears. Part of the video is of him beating up Alex Shelley in an empty, dark arena in full attire. He has champagne in the ring and wants people to toast him. Except that the crowd doesn’t have glasses. Zema Ion comes out. Last week, Aries kicked him in the balls and sprayed him in the face with his own hairspray. That was pretty awesome. Aries appreciates how Zema got the best of him last week. Zema accepts his compliment and turns it around on him, and says that he’s fighting Aries on Sunday, and that he’s going to do to Aries what he did to Sorensen. Aries says that it’s nice that he has hair on his balls now (actually) and gives him the champagne glass. Ion toasts to beating Aries on Sunday, and gives the worst catchphrase you’ve ever heard. I’m not repeating it. Aries throws champagne in his face, then dumps champagne over him and tosses him out of the ring.

 

Abyss’ brother runs into Gunner. Gunner doesn’t shake hands. Abyss’ brother doesn’t know who Gunner is. Then he remembers Gunner is in Immortal. He asks Gunner about his brother, Chris. Gunner says, and I quote “I know a LOT of Chris’s.” Then he asks about Abyss. Gunner says he has a match. He leaves.

Eric Young and ODB plan their wedding. They go over venues for the wedding. ODB wants to do it in the ring. She claims they had sex in the ring. Apparently they’re getting married on Impact. Now there’s a clear-cut situation with the promise of comedy.

Kurt Angle wants to fight Garret Bischoff. He calls him Garrett Bitchoff. Then he makes a “Garrett’s Wife” joke.

 

Gail Kim .vs. Mickie James

These girls have been known to have okay matches at times, so I’m actually going to give this one a go. It actually looked like a wrestling match. Even had a bridge and some other wrestling moves in it. Gail tried to cheat with the belt at about a minute in, but Mickie stopped her. The announcers used this match to talk about Garrett Bischoff. Gail Kim tried a really neat-looking kneebreaker that looked good. Then she worked the knee for a while. She tried a really weak-looking single leg crab that Mickie could have rolled out of at any point. Mickie did a better neckbreaker than Crimson did, and they replayed THAT one too. TWICE. TNA fucking LOVES neckbreakers. Mickie hit a Thesz press off the second rope for 2. Then she dropkicked Gail off the apron. Gail grabbed the belt and drilled Mickie in the head with it while the ref was distracted. Pin.

Winner: Gail Kim

Ken Anderson talks about how illogical it is that he’s buddies with AJ now. Daniels and Kaz show up, and they want to have “water cooler talk”. Daniels also doesn’t understand what Anderson is doing there. Daniels and Anderson find about 60 ways to say “I guess we’ll see later tonight” for a few minutes. Kaz makes fun of Anderson’s “movies”. Anderson has been in movies?!?! In this brittle economy?!?!

 

Ken Anderson .vs. Christopher Daniels

Good Lord, but Ken Anderson is a terrible wrestler. He busted Daniels open below the eye at one point. It looked like he was pissed. Not much happens here, until Kaz comes down, and AJ comes down and starts beating up Kaz. Daniels is distracted, and eats Chris Kanyon’s finisher. Pin.

Winner: Ken Anderson

So, the direction they decided to go with for this feud designed to feature some of TNA’s longest and most under-appreciated wrestlers is going to end with Ken Anderson looking superior to all of them? Brilliant. If Ken Anderson’s other pushes are any indication, TNA should start seeing ratings skyrocket immediately.

 

Jeff Hardy bitches about Kurt Angle.

5-Minute Challenge Match
Kurt Angle .vs. Garrett Bischoff

Garrett Bischoff’s theme song is kind of uplifting. Actually, very uplifting. Wow! I totally feel like dancing around and helping my community start a rec center right now.

Christ this fucking song is awesome! Fuck TNA. This song is my life now.

Lame match, but it was kind of designed to be that way. Angle finishes Garrett off, but only after the 5 minutes are up.

Winner: Garrett Bischoff

Kurt is mad. He punches out the ref and keeps beating on Garrett. Jeff Hardy makes the save. He put on facepaint just for this.

 

Well, the matches may be no good, but at least they’re doing more matches now.

Robbie E and T do another promo. I’m kind of ashamed to say I found it kind of funny. That “list” thing is cute. He’s doing another “Robbie E Invitational”, so you can expect to see a high-profile challengers like Shannon Moore.

Gunner The Charisma Machine (w/ Bully Ray) .vs. James Storm

A lot of people aren’t sold on Storm. I think that whatever he lacks in skill, he makes up for just by being able to get the crowd behind him. And I think he learned a lot of that from being in that Beer Money team. Gunner tries to get momentum going, but Gunner takes him down with… restholds and arm strikes. Gunner sucks. Storm fights back up with some punches and clotheslines. He’s showing Gunner that he can wrestle like he has Down’s syndrome too. He hits Closing Time, and gears up for the Superkick. Crowd is into it, and he hits the kick. Pin.

Winner: James Storm

Bully Ray yells. James Storm stares. Ray teases hitting the ring but bails.

 

Official TNA Victory Road TNA World Heavyweight Title Match Official Contract Signing
Sting & Bobby Roode

They sign. Roode talks about how he’s the IT Factor in professional wrestling. That’s right. Fucking EVERYONE is talking about Bobby Roode. He’s taking TNA to the top! Turns out they censor the word “ass” when Bobby Roode says it, but not when Knockouts say it. That’s pretty funny. I guess you kind of have to admire TNA’s commitment to Roode though, that they’re still going with him despite his title run falling completely flat. That’s cool, dude worked hard to get here, but wow, is it dull to watch. Anyway, Roode rags on Sting for being old and hanging onto the spotlight too long, blah blah, woof woof. Sting sits there until Roode gets ready to leave, then Sting beats up the table. Sting then smears paint on his eyes like a mongoloid. Roode yells that paint doesn’t scare him. So Sting paints Roode’s face. Then Sting kicks his ass.

Segment over. Another Sting Paint-Rape victim, and still the police do nothing.

Show over. Fucking Knockouts had the best match on the card!

 

Well, that’s it for “That Being Said” this week. Time for…

New Rules

New Rule #1: Friends and family of WWE Divas need to start reminding them that they literally have zero market value before they log on to Twitter. Since the days of Trish Stratus and Stacy Keibler, every Diva has been as interchangeable as the Kleenex boxes that people who actually pay attention to Divas use up. By going on Twitter, Beth may as well have traded the Divas Championship for the Knockouts Championship.

New Rule #2: The only idea sillier than the The Miz getting involved in “The Biggest WrestleMania Main Event Of All Time” in 2012 was the idea to have The Miz CAUSE the worst WrestleMania main event of all time in 2011.

New Rule #3: Cody Rhodes getting injured is not necessarily a bad thing. And in case you think I’m being harsh, I’m not. I’m only reminding you that the last time he was hurt was when he started getting rave reviews for his “work”.

New Rule #4: In order to help their falling ratings, TNA needs to consider more cross-promotional opportunities. I’ve been watching the last few minutes of this JAIL show that airs on Spike before TNA comes on, and it seems like a good choice. Kurt Angle and Jeff Hardy get arrested so often that they can easily get at least a couple episodes out of this. Jeff Hardy in particular seems like he’d fit in well with some of the delusional people they bring in. And he’s well-accustomed to being tazed.

 

New Rule #5: TNA and WWE apologists need to stop ragging on Ring Of Honor. I watched the 10th Anniversary Show over the weekend and thought it was okay, but really, I find the ROH product more boring now than I have over it’s entire history. That isn’t the point. WWE is a wrestling-based variety show MOST of the time, and TNA wishes they could put on something that the general public would consider more civilized than a circus sideshow where people can dry off from Splash Mountain. Ring Of Honor is not like these companies, and they’re not trying to be like these companies. You don’t need to be a fan of the Ring Of Honor product to acknowledge this. Whatever you think of them, they serve what they know their target market is, and the shows deliver exactly what they promise.

 

Before I go, everyone should check out a really cool little vote they’re doing over at www.SpineBuster.com, for best promo of all time. Some really good choices over there, with YouTube clips no less!

Hope everyone enjoyed. I’m bloody exhausted. Gunner, Ken Anderson, Matt Morgan and Crimson really suck the life out of that fucking show. They gotta get rid of those guys. Also, I didn’t mention it, but they aired at least 7 or 8 different Roode / Sting segments. I can’t illustrate how much I look forward to not watching that match. I’m considering changing the name of the article to “Blair Watches Impact, So You Don’t Have To”, at least until WE GET SOMEONE TO COVER THIS FUCKING SHOW!!!

Sorry about that. Anyway, remember to comment, e-mail me at bdoulgas@insidepulse.com, or follow me on Twitter @BlairADouglas. Still offering handjobs for anyone who wants to take over coverage of this show. No eye contact.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend. Enjoy the TNA PPV, if you choose to watch it. I’m not watching another one of those fucking things.

I’ll be in my trailer.
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Rabblecast #266 Oklahoma Bans Wrestling, Nigel McGuinness http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/15/rabblecast-266-oklahoma-bans-wrestling-nigel-mcguinness/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/15/rabblecast-266-oklahoma-bans-wrestling-nigel-mcguinness/#comments Thu, 15 Mar 2012 23:50:59 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=138034 In a recent development, the Oklahoma State Athletic Commission has put a ban on all wrestling, mma, and boxing shows for the foreseeable future. This means any upcoming shows applying for a license will be turned down until an “outside threat” to the Oklahoma State Athletic Commission has been withdrawn. What does this mean for shows already scheduled? Will WWE be able to run it’s already planned show in October? Nigel McGuinness(formerly known as Desmond Wolfe in TNA) is in the news this week. Find out what his new project is and why he’s turned to Kickstarter to raise funding for it. The Rabblecast takes a look at the “Legendary Referee” Dick Woehrle(a former WWF referee) and his recent passsing. We also have a bunch of Independent Wrestling news for upcoming shows! (SMASH, NOAH, FTW, HPW, IGF, and DGUSA). The Rabblecast, bringing you wrestling the way you want it!

Our Forever Future Endeavoured Contest returns tonight! Listen in for your chance to win!(Calls for the contest will only be accepted during the LIVE broadcast.)

 

On this week’s show:

  • They guys celebrate both Pi and Steak & BJ Day!
  • UWA Elite update: Setting The Standard
  • We find out what Chris Hero, Tyler Black, and Brodie Lee have in common.
  • Bruno Sammartino gives his opinion on guys like Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair

 

 

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Air Up There: 03.09.2012 – The WWE Titles (Shaemus, The Miz & Jack Swagger) http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/09/air-up-there-03-09-2012-wwe-titles-shaemus-jack-swagger/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/09/air-up-there-03-09-2012-wwe-titles-shaemus-jack-swagger/#comments Fri, 09 Mar 2012 12:00:32 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=137445 I was going to take this week off of a regular article, especially since I’m still recapping shiTNA. However, this week, our own James Alsop brought up an interesting point about Jack Swagger & Santino Marella, regarding the World Heavyweight Title, on an article about TNA ratings. No idea how we got started on this on an article about TNA ratings, but the article is here.

The comments between James & myself went as follows.

James Alsop: Man… Santino Marella beat a former World Heavyweight Champion. That’s depressing, isn’t it?

Blair: It is? Why?

James Alsop: Well even if it isn’t depressing for you, I’m sure Jack Swagger must be a little disheartened.

Blair: Yeah, that US Title was doing amazing things for him? I don’t get it.

James Alsop: I’ll say it again, then. Santino Marella – a joke wrestler – can now claim to have beaten a former World Champ. Santino Marella. That guy with the joke lower-mid-card gimmick. Yeah, him. My problem is with how little it seemed to matter, I guess. Yes, Swagger’s going nowhere fast, and yes he’s boring, and yes no one will notice or care when he walks out without the US title. But, well, call me old-fashioned, but I think that beating a former World Champ, even one who didn’t amount to much, should carry some weight. It should be worth something, and not done willy-nilly. So why throw it away on a joke wrestler with a joke gimmick in a joke finish when you clearly have no intention of ever giving the aforementioned joke wrestler a serious push. Ken Kennedy beat HBK clean on Raw once, but at least WWE were going somewhere with it. WWE jobs out former champs all the time, I know. That’s how they operate. But still… the wrestling mark in me hates to see something potentially meaningful like that simply thrown away.

 

James brings up an interesting point. It’s a point that, in my opinion, illustrates how WWE has been building their stars, with very few exceptions, for years now. I started typing out a response, and before I knew it, it was half-an-hour later and I had this article written.

First off, I’m glad that this isn’t about you thinking that the US Title means anything or that Jack Swagger isn’t worthless, at least. That would make you insane. The thing is, I see Jack Swagger being as much of a joke as Santino. Actually, moreso. People respond to Santino. No one responds to Swagger. I’m not going to go all Kyle Fitta here and say that he should be the main anything of… well, anything. That also, is silly. But the point is this:

What you’re talking about has been going on for a long time. Because for years, they’ve made World Champions at the drop of a dime. They don’t wait for the crowd to respond positively or negatively anymore. They no longer have the patience for that. You used to get the World Title ONLY if you were REALLY “over”. (God, I fucking hate using “insyder” terms.) Anyway, now they give it to guys as a tool to GET them over. And that’s very hard to do. Not impossible, but damn hard.

Maybe part of it is realizing how shallow their talent pool actually is, so they panic when someone gets hurt or something, and say to each other “Holy shit. We got nothing.” Then they say to US “See this Jack Swagger guy? He just won the World Title with his silly briefcase. So he’s a BIG fucking deal now. Yeah, that’s right. We know you barely knew who he was before last night. But he IS a big deal NOW. Why? Because we say so, you fucks. You losers are gonna go NUTS hating him. Get on it.”

That stupid Money In The Bank briefcase isn’t helping, either. It means that ANYONE can win the belt with the briefcase as long as they’re not totally inept, and you GET the briefcase by winning a huge clusterfuck match that ANYONE can win if they just let enough of the other people kill themselves off ladders.

Then, when he wins that belt, we have the usual suspects, like the ones on this site, that claim that Swagger is going to be huge and they talk about the amazing reactions that he doesn’t get. Then no one ACTUALLY responds, and WWE goes “HOLY SHIT! THIS GUY BLOWS!” and they either do the exact same thing again with someone else, or they just give the belt back to Orton or Cena. Then they wonder why it didn’t work, and this poor Swagger douche gets blamed for it. I guarantee you that in the present day, Jack Swagger WISHES he could be a comedy wrestler like Santino. Shit, at least then he’d have job security.

That’s why it doesn’t matter if he’s beaten. Not in the slightest. Same thing happened with Vlad Kozlov – they were THIS close to having him beat Triple H for the belt in one of his first ever PPV’s. Drew McIntyre? Remember him? That gangly little fuck who’s girlfriend kicked the shit out of him in real life? Vince came out on the air with him and TOLD US how huge this guy was gonna be in one of his FIRST appearances. Between that and letting that girl beat him up, he was doomed from the start. He should have just gone the John Morrison route and let Batista fuck his girlfriend. I was staggered to find out just the other week that he was still fucking employed.

 

At least with The Miz, they had a little bit more patience with the build. I’m not a huge fan, never have been – the guy did have some good heat – but he wasn’t great. Certainly not World Title great… unless you go by today’s standards. And that’s the thing – SmackDown ratings going above a 2.0 now is something that people consider impressive by today’s standards. And by those same standards, Jack Swagger winning the World Title at the time was actually considered impressive by some. People wrote about how impressive it was on this very site. And many others.

Now it’s 2 years later, and everyone abandons their argument about how awesome he is almost as fast as WWE abandoned him when he completely flopped. Same thing is happening with Miz – what happened to all you writers who were talking about how he was going to be the third company poster boy along with Cena and Orton? You don’t have shit to say about him now that he’s lucky to get near the WrestleMania card. Why is that? I’ll tell you why. Because you’ve moved on to the next ones in the cycle already – Shaemus and Wade Barrett.

Wade Barrett would have been in the same situation if he hadn’t gotten hurt. I can’t believe they were actually gonna try him again.

And Shaemus. My personal favorite. People on this site actually got behind HIS first heel title run that did nothing for anyone. They gave it to him out of nowhere to get him over. It didn’t work. Then he couldn’t even get on the WrestleMania card, but no one cared. Now, Shaemus is actually getting another chance at bat – ’cause of who he’s buddies with, but the point stands – you’re eating it up just like before! And I have to pose the question – are you going to care if he flops a second time? Of course not. And if you guys didn’t care last time, and won’t care this time, then how ACTUALLY good is he?!

I happily acknowledge that not everybody does this. But many do. Anycrap, as long as they keep it so that ANYone can win the damned belts, this just is kind of how it’s got to be. Really, what else can be done with Swagger at this point? It’s basically either this or fire him – and I’m assuming they like the guy, or they probably would have shit-canned him already. And they could. Easily. And they would lose absolutely nothing. Your casual fan likely wouldn’t even notice.

 

I’m not trying to disagree with you, James – I do agree. And in my opinion, what you’re saying is one of the many reasons that the show isn’t near as good as it was, as evidenced by the ratings that are a joke compared to what they used to be.

Some people actually prefer it this way. In fact, my favorite part about writing these columns are the comments like “What are you actually going to do when Shaemus doesn’t flop and becomes HUGE?” Which is exactly my point – is JUST winning that belt all it takes to be HUGE to you kids? It used to be. But it isn’t. Not anymore. And it hasn’t been for a LONG time.

Of course, anything is possible. I would have never thought that The Rock or Steve Austin could be huge stars just based on their first year or so with the company, either. Then again, they also weren’t put on the main-event slot of the show when they first showed up. I’m just using history, crowd reactions, and probability as my guide. And you weirdos have been doing this routine since before you were talking about how Ken Kennedy would be main-eventing WrestleMania in 2005. Remember Kenzo Suzuki? Of course you don’t.

But truthfully, often this kind of behavior actually provides me more entertainment than the show itself. I enjoy coming on here the day after your average Jack Swagger-like-debuts and title-wins just to see people lick it up. But rest assured, I’d be pleased if the cycle came to an end.

Shit, maybe I’d actually be able to sit down and actually watch RAW again someday instead of reading recaps and YouTube-ing it… or using it as background noise.

 

That’s all I have for this week. But just because it’s not “Interinactivity” doesn’t mean we can’t all read, memorize, and live by my…

New Rules

New Rule #1: If WWE is going to give their developmental wrestlers some really solid, informative, well-thought out and historically-proven reasons why they shouldn’t become wrestlers, then viewers can’t be surprised when 95% of the people who actually stick with the company are the same bland and unoriginal types they’ve had for the last decade, who only make it because they’re willing to put up with whatever JBL does to people in the shower. But remember what Triple H told us – UFC needs to evolve more than they do.

New Rule #2: Someone needs to explain to me why no one is responding to Mark Henry. The fact that they aren’t really splits my wig.

New Rule #3: If the WWE Network ever makes it off the ground, they need to make a reality show that consists of nothing but Kane’s real-life facial expressions and reactions after the people in charge at WWE tell him what he’s going to be doing on any given night. I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather watch Kane’s reaction to him being told: “So, you’re going to wear a gas mask over your regular mask for your entrances from now on.” than any scripted storyline that Kane’s been involved in for the last decade. Think about being able to view Kane’s response from one week: “So, your final epic confrontation with Cena will consist of you throwing Zack Ryder off a stage and losing an epic battle at Elimination Chamber” to the next week: “I don’t know. Go beat up some tag-teams.” to the week after that: “You and Orton at ‘Mania. Figure it out.” We all know that he goes and does it regardless, but what does he do when he first hears the instructions? Does he shrug? Does he laugh? Does he say something like “Another great idea, guys.”? I don’t know, but I want to find out.

 

New Rule #4: If I have to recap Impact, then someone has to recap the Hulk Hogan sex tape. I hear you can get a good deal on eye-wash kits at Rent-A-Center. And if you thought Hulkster’s other post-divorce money-making ventures were bad, or just assumed that he was so old that he only ejaculates dust, you’ll love his newest venture: MyDaughtersFuckingHulkHogan.com!

New Rule #5: All jokes aside, more people will see the Hulk Hogan porno than will see Edge’s new movie.

 

This has been “Air Up There”. Remember to comment, follow me on Twitter @BlairADouglas, or e-mail my at my new address, bdouglas@MyDaughtersFuckingHulkHogan.com. Thanks very much for reading, and have a great weekend.

I’ll be in my trailer.
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That Being Said: TNA Impact Wrestling Report for 03.08.2012 – Bobby Roode, Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/08/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-01-2012-bobby-roode-jeff-hardy-hulk-hogan-2/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/08/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-01-2012-bobby-roode-jeff-hardy-hulk-hogan-2/#comments Fri, 09 Mar 2012 04:09:52 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=137390 No time for an intro this week. After all, Impact’s ratings ARE way down, and I think you should adjust your expectations of this review accordingly. Anyway, here’s your recap. Choke on it.

 

TNA’s Impact Wrestling Extravaganza

Video package starts the show. It appears that the Garrett Bischoff angle will be heavily featured tonight. Then we see Garrett arriving in a Jeep. On this show, Eric Bischoff’s kid’s ride to the arena is important.

Ric Flair, Eric Bischoff, and Gunner come out. Bischoff is sad about having to handle family business on the air. Bischoff says that he asked Sting to have a tag-match, with Gunner and Garrett choosing their own teams. Bischoff thanks Flair for warning Garrett to not come into the Impact Zone. Now we see Garrett backstage watching all of this. Kurt Angle comes out, and Bischoff starts going nuts. Angle hugs all 3 of them. Bischoff wonders who will possibly come to Garrett’s aid. I’ve been watching Impact for one week and I know it’s going to be Jeff Hardy. The entire crowd starts chanting for Hardy, speaking of. Angle verbally massages Bischoff while Gunner physically massages Angle. The music goes off. More hugging.

Sting is rubbing paint all over his face and talking to himself in the mirror about how he’s crazy now. Eric Young comes in. Young wants to talk to Sting. Sting says not to bother him and continues putting paint on his face. Eric wants to do… something. I don’t know. The audio is bad. And Eric is mumbling. Eric wants to give someone a shot at the tag-titles. But he doesn’t know who “her” partner should be. I’m guessing “her” is ODB. Sting says that Eric will be ODB’s partner. Sorry, but are they talking about Eric Young being a Knockouts Tag Team Champion? Do they still have those belts? If so, why is Eric… you know what, fuck it. Sting paints up Eric’s face a bit, then Eric leaves. Sting continues talking to himself in the mirror. He’s talking about how crazy he is. I like Sting and all, but it’s incredibly embarrassing to watch every single time he does this.

Commercial. More TNA Knockout Basketball commercials. They say “TNA Knockouts Are The Girls Next Door”. Unless the girls next door happen to be strippers. I’m kidding. This is less dignified than stripping.

 

TNA Knockout Tag-Team Titles
Eric Young & ODB .vs. Gail Kim & Madison Rayne

Winners & New TNA Knockout Tag-Team Champions: Eric Young & ODB

After the match, Eric Young gets down on one knee and proposes to ODB.

Then we go to commercial.

Then we come back, and Eric finishes proposing.

Then ODB takes that same ring and proposes to Eric Young.

Eric says yes.

They roll around and make out in the ring.

 

They show a video of earlier today, when some fat guy in a suit named “Joseph Park” showed up to see “Impact Wrestling Executives”. The announcers don’t know who he is. So I guess they just got cameras showing security letting random people on the lot. The security guy outside says he has to get permission to let Joseph on the lot. He goes off camera for maybe 4 seconds before telling Park to go on in and to have a good day. Taz and Tenay go all hushed over the situation.

Bully Ray talks about beating up James Storm last week. Aries receives an e-mail on his phone from Sting, saying he’s facing Zema Ion. He trash-talks Sting.

Commercial. More Knockouts playing basketball, and we also get Matt Morgan beats up insurance executives in a speedo. He says it’s because he can’t afford proper insurance on a TNA salary. Good God, I’m only 35 minutes in.

 

X-Division Championship Match
Austin Aries .vs. Zema Ion

This was a fun little match. It was cool that they were able to put 2 heels into a match like this and still have the crowd enjoy it. Aries is as solid as ever. Both guys did a heel schtick, which was kinda interesting. Some good high-risk top-rope stuff, and a nice dive to the floor. Zema tried to get to the hairspray at one point. They teased a ref bump that didn’t actually happen, which I couldn’t believe.

Awesome ending – Zema tried to hairspray Aries with the ref getting his bearings, so Aries just kicks him in the balls and hairsprays him instead. That was sweet. Anyway, the ref sees it, and Zema wins by DQ. Not a bad match for TV.

Winner by DQ: Zema Ion (Austin Aries still X-Division Champion)

This Joseph Park guy is walking into Knockout dressing rooms without knocking. Apparently, he’s Abyss’ brother. He wants to know where Abyss is. He kicks one girl out of the room and asks Velvet where Abyss is. Velvet doesn’t know. He leaves. Segment over. Martin Shaw is telling me that Joseph Park IS Abyss without the mask. Okay, sure. Why not. Commercial.

 

Bully Ray is in the ring, calling himself calf-zilla. That’s kinda funny. He’s talking about how he keeps beating up James Storm. He wants to be the #1 Contender. He calls out Sting. Sting comes out acting all CRAZY, smearing more paint all over his face. If you want to see some embarrassing shit, YouTube this segment. I’ll just give you the gist of it. Sting says Ray can fight Roode like he wants, right after the break. Taz and Tenay wonder if it’s going to be for the title. Commercial.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d love to stay, but my lifeboat just got here. The second half of this recap is being brought to you by our own JONAH KUE! Check out his most excellent article from earlier this week right here: http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/06/kues-korner-kue-vs-pulse-vol-1-wwe-john-cena-the-rock/

Good luck, Kue. I hope this awesome show is as kind to you as it was to me.

 

It’s Kue. It’s….Impact?

(Non-Title Match)
Bobby Roode .vs. Bully Ray

Roode comes out. Ray yells at Roode to take his belt off and get ready to fight. I’m sure he mentions his calves again too. Ray shows he’s roughneck. Roode shows he’s finesse. Ray shoves Roode. Roode slaps Ray. Guess they’re really running with the feminine thing after that Eric Young title change. Back body drop and sidewalk slam by Ray. Roode reverses and hits a top rope lariat. The crowd starts chanting “you suck”, but it’s ambiguous as to who it’s for. Ray makes a comeback with rights, another back body drop, then eventually hits a Rock Bottom. Because if it’s one thing TNA needs to do, it’s remind people about a WWE PPV. Roode grabs Ray’s chain (Jesus, I’m pulling a double take after every sentence I write). James Storm runs in, chases off Ray, and hits a superkick on Roode. He kisses the title and leaves it on Roode. I’m guessing this sets up a triple threat. The match wasn’t bad, actually. And the ending progressed a storyline. Can’t ask for much more than that.

Winner: No Contest?

 

Garrett Bishoff is on camera to not tell us who his tag partner will be tonight. I’m going to go on record and say that that is the worst name in pro wrestling history. Fuck Brutus Beefcake. Garrett Bishoff has replaced you. And his similar appearance to Matt Hardy kinda pisses me off too.

There’s a paint commercial. I think I’m going to go find my soul paint. Is that kinda racist?

What the fuck is a Carl’s Jr?

The fat suit guy who is apparently is Abyss’s brother walks into Morgan and Crimson’s locker room. Then, he leaves and leaves us alone with a Morgan/Crimson promo. I fucking hate Abyss’s brother.

 

Robbie E and another letter come out for a no. 1 contender’s match for the tag titles. And they’re fighting….you’ve got to be kidding me.

#1 Contenders Match For TNA World Tag Team Titles

MORGAN AND CRIMSON?! I picked the wrong week to start watching Impact. Two guys who can’t wrestle win. One of them apparently beat up some insurance people in a speedo. So I hear.

Winners: Matt Morgan & Crimson

 

AJ Styles is next. A little hope, at least.

If anyone is catching “Silent House” this weekend, shoot me a recommendation. I’m curious, but not opening weekend curious.

We’re back, and Gunner verbally dick rides Angle. Angle approves.

 

Video promo of Kazarian, Daniels, and Styles. I hope the payoff to this feud is worth all this confusion. I like these three, but this program is doing little for them.

Styles is out. Gets a great reaction from the audience. He puts TNA over before getting cut off by Daniels and Kaz. Daniels cuts a decent heel promo, saying his friendship with Styles did nothing but cost him. Kaz basically calls Styles out for…being a face? Good God, Daniels as miles ahead of these two on the mic. And here comes………oh, fuck me in the ass with a broom. Anderson is out and helps Styles clear the ring. Not promising. Anderson in the ring with Styles, Daniels, and Kaz? TNA can’t afford to get those three injured.

 

And an ad for Austin’s new movie, “Recoil”. Location, location, location.

“John Carter”? Hmm…..I’ll reserve judgement.

Apparently, the Knockouts like to get physical, they like to break rules, and other phrases that a woman behind a glass screen would say to you. For some reason, this makes me want to buy TNA merchandise.

 

Gunner and Angle come out, followed by Garrett Bishoff, who has music that matches his fucking horrid name. And his mystery partner is….Jeff Hardy. Well, predictable, but I suppose it makes sense. Crowd chants heavily for Hardy.

Jeff Hardy & Garrett Bischoff .vs. Gunner & Kurt Angle

Match starts with Angle and Gunner double teaming Hardy. Angle starts and has a clear advantage on Hardy. Gunner pulls off the typical heel apron stuff on Hardy. Snap suplex and a nearfall by Angle. “Gunner sucks” chant. Hardy is isolated as Gunner gets tagged in. Gunner has control and keeps him in the corner before tagging Angle.

Commercial break. Jesus, this is enduring. I don’t know how Blair does this.

Kue Fact: Did you know that if you omit Hulk Hogan’s scene from Rocky III entirely, it would not hurt the plot at all? Seriously, it had nothing to do with the rest of the film. NOT A DAMN THING.

Hardy is being worked on by Angle. He tries a comeback, but Angle hits a belly to belly. More doubel team moves and tags by Angle and Gunner. Angle hits the ankle lock, but Hardy reaches the ropes. Gunner gets tagged in and hits a suplex for a nearfall. Angle gets tagged in, gets caught in a school boy for a nearfall. Angle tags in Gunner, who locks in a sleeper on Hardy. More “Gunner sucks” chants. Hardy fights back and hits “Whisper in the Wind”. Bishoff gets the tag and starts taking Angle down with token offense. Flapjack, and a dropkick knocks Gunner out of the ring. Stunner and cover over Angle gets broken up by Gunner. Hardy gets a blind tag. Bishoff knocks the heels down, Hardy hits a Swanton on Angle and picks up the win.

Winners: Garrett Bischoff & Jeff Hardy

 

Main event was good, with basic tag psychology. But everything else about this show….I’m glad I’m not doing this every week.

You owe me a steak, Blair!

 

What?!?! Ken Anderson isn’t gone anymore?!?! That was one of the only things this show had going for it.

Anyway, this has been “That Being Said”. I’d like to thank my man Jonah Kue for helping / bailing me out. I am actively soliciting people to do the same for next week’s show – no reason Kue should have to suffer twice. Unless of course, we find someone to do this on a permanent basis. Anyone willing to do so should shoot me an e-mail at bdouglas@insidepulse.com, and, just to clear the rumours up, yes, I’m willing to let you hit me in the face with it.

“Air Up There” will appear at it’s regularly scheduled time tomorrow. In the meantime, check out my man Martin’s article from this week if you haven’t already: http://t.co/fUYB4IQO.

For me and Kue, thanks for reading, and remember to comment, shoot an e-mail, or follow me on Twitter @BlairADouglas.

I’ll be in my trailer.
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That Being Said: TNA Impact Wrestling Report for 03.01.2012 – Bobby Roode, Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/01/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-01-2012-bobby-roode-jeff-hardy-hulk-hogan/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/03/01/that-being-said-tna-impact-wrestling-report-for-03-01-2012-bobby-roode-jeff-hardy-hulk-hogan/#comments Fri, 02 Mar 2012 02:00:25 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=136712 Motherfucker.

So, we lost another TNA Impact recapper. Well, not really, but apparently his TV isn’t allowing him to see Impact at the moment. That’s a pretty smart TV, I’d say. That notwithstanding, it still leaves us with a gap in our ever-so-important TNA Impact coverage. Being the company man to the marrow of my bone, I offered to fill in for the interim. That’s dedication right there.

Maybe Adam will come back. Maybe he won’t. TNA does weird stuff to people. It’s eaten like 3 people since I stopped covering it last year. It causes you to go crazy, like that one guy in that one movie who gets fucked with over and over again until he just snaps and decides to drive through a brick wall in a van and blow everyone away with a SPAS12 shotgun, and then… just… retires… to some… island… and fucks… hot sluts all day? I don’t know. Something like that.

That last PPV that I did where football guy got crippled was pretty bad, except for that Shelley / Aries match, and sort of one other one. But that ending just made me cringe. Yet all I hear these days is how good Impact is right now. I guess we’ll see.

 

TNA Impact Wrestling

So, I see a video package of what’s been going on since the PPV. Which is helpful because I haven’t kept up with TNA since then. It appears Sting is in the main event now against Bobby Roode.

Backstage, Kurt Angle is drunk and has cue cards so that he can remember why he did what he did to Jeff Hardy. We are off to an awesome start.

New opening for Impact. It’s a lot better than the old one.

Kurt Angle comes out. He says he’s been gone. The Impact Zone is mostly quiet. Kurt doesn’t like Jeff Hardy because he has lots of hair, and Kurt doesn’t. Jeff paints his hair, but Kurt says that doesn’t make you a champion. The crowd chants for Hardy. Kurt doesn’t like that Hardy wears makeup and puts socks on his arms. Kurt doesn’t like that Hardy shows up late to signings and also doesn’t like that girls like Jeff Hardy. Kurt says that girls dig him too. Kurt says he has over 100 Kurt Angle action figures, posters, t-shirts, but that his kid has Jeff Hardy posters on the wall, Jeff Hardy action figures on the wall, a Jeff Hardy t-shirt on, and wearing makeup. Kurt’s kid sounds like a huge loser to me. Anyway, people are chanting for Hardy now. Kurt calls Hardy out.

Jeff Hardy has some new terrible music I haven’t heard yet. But he looks relatively normal this time around. I was hoping for some more Willo ‘Th Whisp attire like at the PPV. Angle trash-talks him for a bit and makes a match for Victory Road. Then they brawl, and officials separate them. Then Jeff gets all Twilight and accepts Angle’s challenge.

Bobby Roode is backstage. He says he’s the IT Factor, because if he says it enough, it’ll be true. He then demonstrates how much of an IT guy he is by cutting a slow, generic promo. Austin Aries comes up to greet him. Austin says that because they both dress nice and drink red wine, they’re on the same page. Are they coming out? Why does everyone come out when I’m recapping? Anyway, I guess Aries Tweeted something and they both don’t like Sting.

 

Daniels comes out and talks some bullshit. I guess AJ has demanded that if he beats Daniels, then Daniels has to tell him the truth about their “relationship”. Kaz then accepts on Daniels’ behalf. I guess that’s legally binding in TNA, so Styles dives on Daniels and the match starts.

Gauntlet Match
AJ Styles .vs. Christopher Daniels

Tenay and Taz wonder about the relationship between Daniels and Kaz. They also talk about how there are Knockouts coming later. And how we’re going to get an update on Jesse Sorensen. Anything they can think of to avoid talking about this actual wrestling match. AJ in control for much of the match. Good suplex partway through.

Commercial. Absolutely AMAZING Matt Morgan Direct Auto Insurance commercial where he’s really able to show off his acting chops.

Back on the show, AJ leaves the ring to question Kaz, because apparently he’s an idiot. Daniels jumps him from behind and starts to stomp him in the ring. Back-body drop by Daniels. More stomps. Chant for AJ. The announcers continue to find other things to talk about instead of calling this match. This time it’s about Zema Ion. AJ ducks a clothesline and hits a Pele. AJ hits some clotheslines and a spin-kick. Then a springboard. AJ with the suplex-neckbreaker combo that looks fantastic. 2-count. Daniels counters AJ’s clothesline with a judo takedown.

Kaz comes in and hits his reverse tombstone and gets Daniels DQ’d. Daniels is confused.

Winner by DQ: AJ Styles

AJ Styles .vs. Kaz

Then Kaz pins AJ.

Winner: Kaz

Daniels is upset. They leave. Decent enough I suppose, but over-booked as all hell.

 

The girl who I’m pretty sure is Madison is hanging giant photos of Gail Kim. She says she made “marketing” blow them up for Gail. Gail thanks her and says she has a surprise. They’re going to a spa. Madison reacts like a small child. Then Gail has another surprise for Madison, that she has to fight ODB tonight. Madison says she only wants the first surprise. Gail leaves. Now that’s a clear-cut situation with the promise of comedy.

Commercial. Anyone who rents a TV for 30 bucks a week, let alone actually believes they’re not using “credit” shouldn’t be allowed to control their own money anymore.

Okay. So there’s a completely batshit insane commercial for some kind of TNA merchandise. In it, TNA Knockouts throw basketballs around and ODB beats up a referee. It’s like all the commercials tonight need to feature a certain amount of TNA stars. And they’re choosing the ones who can’t act.

 

Madison Rayne (w/ Gail Kim) .vs. ODB (w/ Eric Young)

Good to see Eric Young is still employed. It’s nice that he still has to act retarded for some reason. Speaking of Knockouts, why does Joseph Hargrove not comment on my articles anymore? Is it because I think 90% of women’s wrestling is bullshit?

Anyway, this sucked. At one point ODB attempted a bronco buster so Madison just shoved her boot right up ODB’s vag. That was pretty funny, but doesn’t stop ODB. ODB hits the bronco buster anyway while Eric Young acts retarded some more.

Then I don’t understand what happened. Gail Kim attempts to get up on the apron several times but fails. Taz makes a joke about it, then ODB hits a move and wins.

Winner: ODB

Tenay makes sure to tell us that this ISN’T the last we’ll see of the Knockouts tonight. Thank God.

I guess Bully Ray is mad at Brandon Jacobs, who is in TNA for some reason. I guess Storm brought him in. He’s yelling at some girl about it. No idea who it is. This doesn’t make any sense at all. Aries and Roode show up and blame Sting for everything.

 

Okay, so then, Velvet Sky literally just says “I’ve been in this compa…” and then two other girls just jump her immediately before the first sentence even makes it out of her mouth. I don’t know who jumped her because the camera-work was so bad. They started beating the living shit out of her right away, and then they went to commercial like 2 seconds later. No fucking idea what that shit was about.

Commercial.

Then we come back, and relive the same segment again. The only difference this time is that they don’t cut to commercial. This is fucking amazing. They couldn’t have just aired it after the commercial? We needed to preview this?!?! Now I can see that the attackers are Angelina, and the other one I think is one of the Mexican girls. They kick her ass. They pick her up, and Velvet tells them to let her go. They give her a shove and she dives into a wall and swears for like 5 seconds. Then Mickie James comes up, dressed like some basket-ball playing hippie, and asks her if she’s okay. Velvet screams that NO SHE IS NOT OKAY! SHE IS NOT OKAY! Segment over. Yeah.

Ric Flair talks to Bischoff’s kid. Gunner and Bischoff are there. Flair tells the kid to go away. He gives the kid a week to do… something. Go away maybe. The kid says that he’s his own man and walks away. Segment over.

Backstage, Bully Ray is walking with Roode and Aries. Commercial. All of that happened really fast. I’m having a hard time keeping up.

 

Roode, Aries and Ray come out. Roode grabs the mic, and his promos has kind of morphed into a kind of white noise to me. Roode is mad at Sting for “booking” himself into the main event. INSYDER. Roode says he’s done, and that he’s not fighting Sting at the PPV. Because he can also make matches. Ray wants people to look at his thighs. Ray says that Sting let Brandon Jacobs into the Impact Zone.  Ray then says it was emberassing. To illustrate this, he has them show it on the screen over and over again. Ray also says he is “done”. Aries has also had enough of Sting. And he also talks about Ray’s calves. Aries also says he’s “done”.

Then they all sit down in the ring. I guess they’re saying this is “work stoppage”. Taz says they’re holding up the show. Except that everyone knows this show is taped.

Lights go down, and then they come up and Sting is in the ring. They all seem very surprised considering they called him out. Sting says he was kidding when HE said he was done. He asks if they’re kidding. They say they’re not. Sting says he’s taking the belts away from Roode and Aries. They seem surprised by this. Then he tells Ray that Ray won’t get paid if he quits. Ray seems to consider this – seems odd he wouldn’t have considered that already. Then Sting asks them if they’re sure they’re done.

Sting then makes a match with Roode, Ray and Aries against Joe, Magnus, and James Storm. They’re mad. Sting leaves.

Commercial. At MyLife.com, you can find out if you’re being stalked. And then, if the commercial is to believed, you’re supposed to be REALLY happy about it.

 

Jesse Sorensen video package. His mom is upset. Jesse says things are going to get better and that he prays a lot. His mom makes him promise not to give up on his dream, and says they’re going to get him back in the ring. Nice video package – a bit dramatic, but it works. They’d have to work pretty hard to fuck this u…

Now Zema Ion is saying that he’s glad he crippled Jesse Sorensen. And equilibrium has been restored.

 

Zema Ion .vs. Shannon Moore

Ion messes up Shannon, because Shannon sucks. Ion is rocking his new heel persona. Nice missile dropkick partway through, not much else of substance. He calls out Aries. Crowd chants for Shannon. Tenay and Taz talk some more about how hot the knockouts are. Shannon Moore hits a top-rope hurricanrana that gets him 2. Shannon completely misses a moonsault even though Ion didn’t even really move. Ion hits some kind of modified facebuster for the win.

Winner: Zema Ion

Not bad, given that Shannon Moore was in it. Zema Ion is a hairspray guy now apparently, as he sprays himself after the match.

 

Commercial. Velvet Skye pours PowerAde on her tits. And TNA shows us some fans that like to pretend that TNA is the future.

 

Angelina Love & Sarita .vs. Velvet Skye & Mickie James

Yeah. No way am I knocking myself out, no pun intended, to keep track of this. These bitches are crazy. I remember when Angelina got drug-raped by the ghost from the past but it turned out Angelina was into it. And I remember when that one girl ran that other bitch down on a motorbike, then the one who got ran down was fine like a week later. For the match, Tenay talks about Lindsay Lohan hosting SNL. Taz talks about how he stalks the Knockouts.

Velvet wins with the X-Factor.

Winners: Velvet Skye & Mickie James

Backstage, James Storm says he’s beating Storm at the PPV for the World Title. Magnus talks about how they’re different, but how that doesn’t matter.

 

Commercial. They run the strange Knockout commercial again. Why are fuck are they doing a commercial with basketballs? Is a girl in a hot tub of basketballs supposed to be sexier than just showing her in an actual hot tub? Shouldn’t they at least use footballs since they have both a real and a fake football guy now? They’re not a basketball company. They’re a wrestling company.

Swayze: That looks like a commercial for a porno 1-900 basketball fetish line.

Mike Tenay says that Impact Wrestling got a letter from Abyss’ family regarding his disappearance. They show a recap of the Immortal / Abyss saga. Looks pretty painful. They kicked Abyss’ ass and now they don’t know where he is. Now there’s a story with some meat on it.

 

James Storm, Samoa Joe & Magnus .vs. Bobby Roode, Austin Aries & Bully Ray

Pretty generic 6-man stuff here. It was all right, I guess. I’ve seen a LOT worse main events on Impact. Crowd was certainly into it. Storm came in to a really great reaction and was on a good roll. Ray also has crazy heat – way more than Roode.

After a melee, Storm hits Roode with a superkick and pins to a nice little pop from the crowd.

Winners: James Storm, Samoa Joe & Magnus

 

Martin Shaw: This is the start of a huge push for Samoa Joe in TNA.

Ray lays everyone out with chairs after the match. He tells Storm he’s not making it to LockDown.

 

Well, that’s it for Impact. I don’t know, I don’t know why anyone would be excited about this show lately. I don’t see a whole lot to get excited about. Again though, I’ve seen a LOT worse from them.

 

Hope everyone enjoyed. Feel free to leave a comment, shoot me an e-mail, or follow me on Twitter @BlairADouglas.

This has been “That Being Said”. Thanks for reading and see you tomorrow for Interinactivity.

I’ll be in my trailer.
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Interinactivity: 02.24.2012 – Triple H, The Undertaker & John Cena http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/02/24/interinactivity-02-24-2011-john-cena-chris-jericho-cm-punk/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/02/24/interinactivity-02-24-2011-john-cena-chris-jericho-cm-punk/#comments Fri, 24 Feb 2012 12:00:48 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=136124 Welcome back to “Interinactivity”. The last couple weeks, I’ve posted the “Air Up There” articles, which are a bit of a break from my usual style. I posted those to give people kind of a window into why I, despite still enjoying some wrestling the odd time… don’t have a whole lot of respect for the wrestling industry as a whole, nor the major companies that make up such a big part of it.

This week, it’s back to the old routine of daring to write not-serious articles about a fake sport. Let’s set some people straight, tell some stories, break some hearts, and introduce a new addition to the Interinactivity articles that you’ll see towards the end of this one.

 

James Alsop: Blair, seriously, what’s with “Shaemus”? You’ve been misspelling it for so long now that I’m sure it must be intentional, but really, why? It’s kinda removed from context now, isn’t it…? So far removed as to not make any sense to new readers, I mean.

Blair: I try to be conscious of my spelling and grammar as a rule, and I think I do all right… but if readers, new or otherwise, actually give a shit or even notice how I spell “Shaemus”, the name of someone who doesn’t matter, then they have much bigger problems. They should stop reading this right now and go tackle them.

Yes, Shaemus is probably going to win the belt at WrestleMania, but just like I said it would, the Shaemus narrative has already changed from “Shaemus is over!” to “Shaemus is over… but…” in a matter of months. It’ll continue in that direction, and before too long, you’ll care as much about that as you would if I mis-spelled Vladamir Kozlov’s name. In the meantime, just to make a point, I can’t be assed to change it. Shaemus. Shaemus Shaemus Shaemus.

Besides, if I really wanted to get sticky on spelling, I’d point out the fact that everyone misspells the name of the title that Shaemus is fighting for. You guys spell it “World Heavyweight Title”. The correct spelling is “ECW Title”. (Not the good one. The Sy-Fy one.)

 

James Carter: Read something from one of my favorite columnists like Andrew Wheeler, Scott Keith or Blair A. Douglas and tell me that it’s not funny, clever or well-argued.  More often than not they usually are all three.

Blair: Wow. Former President James Carter.

Seriously though, thanks. Me, Wheeler and Keith. That’s good company for me to be in, right there.

 

Sideshow Bob: What’s with Barrett’s trunks?  Or is he bleeding from the ass?

Blair: Oh, here we go. Typical anti-WWE-commenter. Ragging on someone because they don’t approve of how their got their current push.

 

Nixgame25: jericho will win shemus will challange him for wrestlemania but cm punk will ask for rematch so it will be a triple threat match at wrestlemania

Blair: Ugh, I hope not. Triple Threats by definition are no fun. There are a couple exceptions, of course – that one from WrestleMania 20 with Benoit, Triple H and Michaels was good. But what other Triple Threats can you remember that were ACTUALLY good? Plus, this one has Shaemus in it, and that’s a major hurdle.

 

Mike Gojira: Hey, did you know Blair Douglas faps to this?
Kelly Floyd: I’d prefer not to. I guess I’m just more surprised he even has exterior genitalia.

Blair: I just said that to try to help Gojira’s self-esteem. Sorry, you two crazy kids, but unlike you, who can actually sit through entire episodes of SmackDown… I got standards.

 

Shamon Of Hedon: Blair Douglas does indeed lack external genitalia, as all non-British Columbian Canadian men do. I however, do not.

Blair: That’s right, we all know that the only real men that Canada has are fresh from the only hippie province in the country.

 

Adam Mason: I can’t believe no one here see what they’re doing though. Think about it, there is no way WWE has built up all of the tension between Johnny Ace and CM Punk for it to just fade away. Punk loses the belt to Jericho tonight, probably through some interference by Ace, and Punk goes on to fight The Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and the Interim RAW General Manager, Mr. John Lauranitis at Wrestlemania.

Blair: I can’t believe no one saw it either. I guess because that’s not what they aired.

 

Cinmaybhavke: i still yhink that john will win john wasa champ and he is a champ this will be a best match in life

Blair: Great comment.

 

Ageless Stranger: Pritchard and Lagana should bring some basic writing skills to the equation.

Blair: I’d be curious to know what you’re basing this on.

 

James Carter: I think the only stars WWE has that could be recognized by the general public are Jericho (game show host, vh1 talking head and reality show contestant) and the Miz (MTV).

Blair: Other than the Dancing With The Stars thing, and even that is a stretch… people who don’t watch wrestling likely would never recognize Jericho or Miz from any of the rest of that. Especially anything on MTV. The only reason that even you know that they were on that fine list of programs is because WWE and the IWC take every opportunity they can find to remind you of that, so that we can all pretend that wrestling is still “mainstream”.

 

James Carter: Frankly it’d be nice if he had free healthcare supporting him.  I think injuries require cash, and not the high fives and well wishes from people going to theme parks.

Blair: I could not agree with this more.

 

Anonymous RAW GM: Just being honest, I am kind of sick of the “I’m better than thou” attitude, the middleschool toilet-humor, and the movie/tv references in articles. Scott Keith has been doing it for years. It’s time to change it up.

Blair: So you’re the anonymous RAW GM. You call that a comment, you son of a bitch? You’re a nice guy? I don’t give a shit. A good father? Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You think this is abuse, you c*cksucker? Get off the comment board. Comments are for closers.

 

Speaking of closers, it’s time for my new segment… this is something that I’ll hopefully be doing every week.

If I don’t respond directly to your e-mail, comment, or tweet, then chances are, it’s covered in this section. We would all do well to abide by my…

New Rules

New Rule #1: People need to stop acting like they’d be thrilled, appalled, or surprised if Santino Marella actually won the World Heavyweight Title. This would not be that big of a surprise – even just last year, a guy who’d been a low-card comedy act for a lot longer won that very same title. His name was Mark Henry.

New Rule #2: People need to stop pretending that there’s going to be a huge change in a wrestling show for better or worse just because one person got added, removed, promoted, or demoted from a writing staff. This week, TNA removed Vince Russo and many people believed they’d see an immediate change. In the last 6 or 7 years, Scott D’amore, Vince Russo, Glenn Gilbertti, Jeff Jarrett, Dusty Rhodes, Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan, Terry Taylor, Bruce Pritchard, Dave Lagana, Kurt Angle, Dixie Carter, and others have, at some point or another, been involved in the writing or creative process at TNA. Try to remember that none of these names being added or removed from the lineup caused any serious changes in TNA (besides Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan, which was a drastic change for the worse) because, simply put, there’s too many clowns in that car for just one person to have that much of an impact on that product. So, the next time there’s a change in “creative” at a wrestling company, involving a name you really know nothing about, instead of commenting… just shut up.

New Rule #3: If you don’t give a shit about the United States Title, then you don’t really need to have a United States Title. No one is forcing you to keep it around, and, if you got rid of it, likely the casual fan wouldn’t even notice. Seriously though, those belts probably weigh 20 pounds, and this one in particular is not doing anything for anyone. I’m sure even Fake Kurt Angle doesn’t want to be paying extra in baggage claim fees at the airport if the belt isn’t helping him.

New Rule #3 And A Half: Speaking of Jack Swagger, if you don’t give a shit about Jack Swagger… then you don’t need to have a Jack Swagger. No one is forcing you to keep him around, and if you got rid of… well, you get the idea.

 

New Rule #4: Stop complaining about John Cena not turning “heel”. After the most hate-filled year that John Cena’s ever experienced, which is saying something, many of us assumed that wrestling fans would stop with this nonsense. But seriously, let’s take off the crash helmets and think about something that the smarter people among us have known for years.

Who would be pissed off if John Cena turned heel? Kids and young adults. Kids and young adults who are buying his merchandise.

And who really WANTS John Cena to turn heel? Adults. Adults who don’t buy any of John Cena’s merchandise.

And do you know what really pisses off those adults? That John Cena ISN’T turning. And that’s why they boo him. And that’s what makes him a heel to those adults anyway. So why would WWE even remotely consider bothering to turn him just to piss off those kids and young adults who are buying that merchandise, when NOT turning him is pissing off the people that want him to turn INFINITELY more than ACTUALLY turning him EVER could. Hell, if they did turn him heel, many of those adults would probably start cheering him.

And guess what? WWE knows this. They pay attention. They know they’ve found the sweet spot. Kids and young adults buy the merchandise, buy into the sympathy angle that they’re now doing, cheer him regardless, and WWE gets to look like an anti-bullying company. Adults boo him without WWE ever needing to turn him heel or walk away from that merchandising revenue, and the more they refuse to turn him, the more the adults are hating him anyway. They’ve even got those adults buying “Cena Sucks” merchandise now, and I for one can’t believe that it took them this long to start selling that t-shirt.

You don’t really need John Cena to turn so that you can boo him or tell him he sucks. Nor do you need to have EVERYONE hate him so that you can boo him or tell him he sucks. You can just boo him or tell him he sucks. You’ve been doing it up to this point anyway. It turns out that many of you have actually been on board with this for years. You just didn’t realize it.

 

And lastly…

New Rule #5: If the WWE is trying to sell a super-serious end-of-the-world last-of-their-generation Hell-In-A-Cell apocalypse match… then they need to make the promos sound less like the script of a hastily written gay porno.

TRIPLE H: You want this?
UNDERTAKER: I want it.
TRIPLE H: I know you think I can’t take you.
UNDERTAKER: I know you can’t take me.
TRIPLE H: I know I can.
UNDERTAKER: Let’s find out.
TRIPLE H: All right, fine! You wanna get it on?
UNDERTAKER: You know I wanna get it on.
TRIPLE H: Well then, you got it! LET’S GET IT ON!
UNDERTAKER: Oh, we’re gonna fucking get it on, all right.
TRIPLE H: You know what? You know what? Just getting it on isn’t enough. We need to go ALL THE WAY.
UNDERTAKER: I’m SO fucking ready to go all the way.
TRIPLE H: Well then, we are GONNA go ALL THE WAY! Let’s get it on… IN A CAGE!
UNDERTAKER: I can’t fucking WAIT to get it on in a cage.
TRIPLE H: Have I said “Suck It” yet?
UNDERTAKER: Not yet.
TRIPLE H: Well… SUCK IT!
UNDERTAKER: So fucking hot.

 

That’s it for “Interinactivity”, and I hope everyone enjoyed my “New Rules” segment.

Before I go, you should check out Wrestling Facts, for some hilarious wrestling “facts”. Like this gem: Andre The Giant once fell asleep during a match. (It was HHH .vs. Taker.)

Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend, and remember: i still yhink that john will win john wasa champ and he is a champ this will be a best match in life

I’ll be in my trailer.
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Air Up There: 02.17.2012 – The Real TNA (Jesse Sorensen, Dixie Carter, Daffney) http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/02/17/air-up-there-02-17-2012-the-real-tna-jesse-sorensen-dixie-carter-daffney/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/02/17/air-up-there-02-17-2012-the-real-tna-jesse-sorensen-dixie-carter-daffney/#comments Fri, 17 Feb 2012 12:00:16 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=136041 Good morning, children. You might remember that last week, I took some of my valuable time to teach you about the WWE that you don’t see on TV. The WWE that they ask you to “stand up” for. And that was written BEFORE they had this poor Natalya girl go around farting on people and killing midgets. This week, I’m going to go ahead and do the same type of article – on TNA – but with a different kind of slant.

Last Sunday was TNA’s Against All Odds PPV, which I recapped. It’s a pretty amazing recap. I watched this PPV with in the super-secret Fist Pump Screening Room with my man Swayze and our newest addition to the Pulse writing team, Martin Shaw (check out his first article). Swayze said in his article this week that he thought it was a decent PPV. I don’t know if I’d be willing to go that far – for my money (the money that I didn’t pay to watch it), there was one really good match and one other good match. The rest of it was lame, and THEN you had the main-event and the match before it, which brought the show to an amazing screeching halt, even for TNA.

This PPV, however, made big news. Not so much because of how good or bad it was, but because of a very severe incident involving a TNA performer. I know what you’re thinking – that Jesse Sorensen can just buy another football anywhere – but we all know that TNA doesn’t pay all that well, and, that’s actually not what I’m talking about. Jesse Sorensen was legitimately injured when he took a knee to the back of his head on a moonsault from Zema Ion. Sorensen was taken to the hospital for evaluation, and now it’s being reported by PW Torch that “several TNA wrestlers expressed concern over his health”, and that he “was taken away in an ambulance for tests because his body went numb.”

Later on in the week, Dixie Carter passed this along: “Jesse Sorensen has sustained a C1 vertebrae fracture with spinal cord edema. He is slowly regaining feeling and movement in his arms and legs. He wants to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Once we speak to the neurosurgeon, we will pass on more details.”

Even later on in the week, Kurt Angle (MD) passed THIS piece of brilliance along: “I Visited Jesse Sorenson, He Is Moving His Arms and Legs. Drs’ say 1 Year recovery. I Say 4 Months. Jesse Is a Hero and Fighter.”

(Here’s hoping that Jesse is smart enough to listen to his doctors before he listens to Kurt.)

 

So here are the questions I’m posing to you:

Does TNA still have a job for Jesse Sorensen if / when he recovers? Do they take care of him in the meantime? Or is he on his own?

I know what you’re thinking – Dixie is Tweeting about him, everyone is concerned, they’re making a big show of support for him – of course they’re going to take care of him!

I certainly hope they do. I haven’t seen a lot of the kid, and I have no idea if he’s any good or not, but I suppose that’s not really relevant. NO ONE deserves to get hurt like that, ESPECIALLY in a fake fight. No one deserves to have life as they know it taken away by something like what happened to Droz. That’s really all there is to it.

But, the truth is, TNA has an incredibly poor track record when it comes to paying hospital bills. Let’s take a look at how TNA handled just one of those similar situations. I posted about this story last year when I was covering TNA.

 

The Story Of TNA Knockout Daffney

The stories of how women in professional wrestling are treated are sad ones. Low respect. Even lower pay. And in most cases, an even lower level of degrading acts to perform. We all remember the stories coming out about how TNA Knockouts needed to find second jobs, just so they could afford to attend TNA PPV’s. None of that relates to what happened here, as these women are making the choice to pursue these careers. That doesn’t justify the situations they’re put in, but regardless – Daffney had been a professional wrestler for quite some time. She started out back in WCW, worked her way through the indies, and eventually to TNA. She was fairly well known, for someone who had never set foot in the WWE. She always got a nice little response from the TNA fans when she was brought back to the show. TNA fans even chanted “Daffney” quite a bit when Daffney was only brought in to put other Knockouts over.

In 2009, Daffney got a concussion at a PPV after being chokeslammed from the ring apron onto a barb-wire board by Abyss. She then got another one after Tara beat her over the head with a toolbox. Believe it or not, none of THAT was the final straw, and all of that is bad enough on it’s own.

After all of that – Daffney THEN received a deeply bruised sternum, a severe stinger and yet another concussion in a TNA try-out match for Rosie Lottalove. Rosie was a girl who had been trained by Bully Ray, who’s gimmick was that she was overweight. Rosie was actually given a TNA contract after this happened, although she was soon let go.

 

After CageSideSeats.com author S. Bruce wrote an article on the subject, he was contacted by a current TNA employee who asked to remain anonymous. The employee said the following:

“Daffney was asked to do the spot to which she would go through a table full of tacks. She was hesitant to take the spot. Terry Taylor assured Daffney that she would be fine that she would be taken care of. After a lot of convincing from both Terry and Vince Russo, who was telling her how important the spot was for the feud that was going on, Daffney goes through with the spot and was injured. Following the injury she is treated at the hospital and taken via ambulance. Worse still is that Spike wouldn’t let TNA air the spot on Impact.  They refuse to air it on their policy of violence towards women. To put a cherry on the top of this story, a huge bill from the hospital would follow for Daffney.

TNA and Daffney went back and forth for several months about TNA not paying the bill. There were emails back and forth between Terry and Daffney which would result in Terry forwarding the emails to the responsible parties and then Terry delivering news that the matters were being tended to. This however would all be a smoke screen as more notices of delinquencies would follow for Daffney. TNA would hold out on paying certain bills and make claims that the agencies would settle for lower amounts if they held out. When this method didn’t work, they would turn around and claim that they are not responsible for the bill and that Daffney herself would be the one responsible for the bills.”

Another TNA-connected name the author spoke to verified this account, claimed this type of pressure was common, and blamed Russo (who is often known for encouraging risky and hardcore spots in a bid to get his car-crash style angles over) for “being personally responsible for the situation of Daffney and many, many others.”

So, Daffney received no compensation. When she filed a Worker’s Compensation Claim, TNA took her off TV.

 

Daffney’s Situation .vs. Jesse’s Situation

So, is there any reason that even your stauntest TNA defender could preach that Jesse deserves compensation and Daffney doesn’t? I realize that that question even being asked is pretty harsh. Naturally, they both DESERVE compensation.

But why should one get it while the other is denied?

Take a look at the two situations. If you want, toss out the parts about Daffney being hurt and about TNA convincing her to do stunts that she didn’t want to do. Let’s say that she was perfectly healthy even just going into that one match with Rosie Lottalove.

She still got hurt from just that one match. I’m assuming Jesse went into his match with Zema Ion perfectly fine, and he got hurt from just that one match as well.

 

The Bottom Line

I’m assuming that TNA will be covering Jesse Sorensen’s bills. That’s a good thing. I’m not trying to say that just because TNA screwed Daffney over that they should just continue that cycle and leave this poor kid Sorensen on the side of the road. The question that I’m raising is why I they will take care of Jesse, when they didn’t take care of Daffney.

The answer, I believe, lies in what this anonymous TNA employee told CageSideSeats - “The company needs to change to grow, and if the company can’t see the truth, maybe an enlightened fan base can help change the company. TNA fears greatly for their public image.” The reality is that this Sorensen thing is a lot more public than I’m sure TNA would like it to be. That Daffney thing, most people hadn’t even heard about. It was easier to sweep under the rug.

 

I’m curious as to what people will think about this. Am I wrong? Did TNA just grow up in the couple of years since this Daffney thing happened? Are they really a more caring and compassionate employer now? Is there a difference in the two situations that I’m not seeing? Or am I actually wrong that TNA will cover this Sorensen kid? I think they will, but maybe that’s just me hoping they will.

Let me know what you think. Leave a comment, shoot me an e-mail at bdouglas@insidepulse.com, or hit me up on Twitter @BlairADouglas.

This has been “Air Up There”. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend! I’ll be in my trailer.
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That Being Said: TNA Against All Odds 2012 Report (Jeff Hardy, Booby Roode, Hulk Hogan) http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/02/12/that-being-said-tna-against-all-odds-2012-report-jeff-hardy-booby-roode-hulk-hogan/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/02/12/that-being-said-tna-against-all-odds-2012-report-jeff-hardy-booby-roode-hulk-hogan/#comments Mon, 13 Feb 2012 03:51:32 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=135712 It’s been a while since I busted out “That Being Said” and did a recap. Especially a TNA recap – I didn’t even know until a day or so ago that there was a PPV this weekend. In fact – full disclosure - I have not seen a single TNA show since Bound For Glory last year. I just kind of got burned out on caring what happened in TNA after years of waiting for them to do some good stuff. Did you know that my FIRST EVER PPV recap for Pulse was LAST year’s Against All Odds PPV? I bet you didn’t. Now you do.

I did watch highlights of the whole Bobby Roode turning on James Storm thing, which I thought was well done, but you know what, I can’t be bothered to get that invested in Roode. People seemed to like that whole thing, and I thought of giving it a shot again… but then, I read that Jeff Hardy was in the title picture again. And that Bischoff’s kid was running around doing some kind of angle with Eric and Hogan. And some other nonsense with Sting.

I was glad to see we found a TNA recapper in Adam Mason, that stuck around longer than a week, and was optimistic about the product. I did read a couple of those, and they’re well done, and I always enjoy MC Brown’s roundups as well… but again, I couldn’t be bothered to spend too much time even reading about TNA. I guess I tell you this to explain why, as you read my recap, you’ll notice that I don’t really have too much idea what’s going on right now. But if you can’t watch a PPV without them explaining to you the gist of what’s going on, then they need to put together a better show. I mean, it’s TNA – it’s not like they have a world of depth in their storylines.

And I’ve been caught in the situation before where I get ragged on for not knowing what’s going on, like that’s an intelligence flaw of some sort. TNA apologists are even worse than WWE apologists on this, because TNA apologists tend to hate themselves more. The only ones who’ve taken it a step further are those muslim fanatics who actually take the chains and beat the shit out of each other. I’m surprised the TNA apologists didn’t think of that – but I suppose they’re not good with tools. And they’d rather go after themselves mentally.

Anyway, my man Kon kept telling me that I should check out a show, because it hasn’t been that bad. He showed me the card for this PPV, and a few of the matches sound like they could be allright. And here we are. That being said, I present to you: the show that I watched while the rest of North America was watching The Walking Dead and The Grammys. Also known as…

 

TNA Against All Odds 2011

I joined this PPV about 10 minutes late because my free stream PPV had some issues kicking in. Man, who booked this shithole? Aw man, they’re in the Impact Zone! I thought they were in cool arenas in London lately. I hate the Impact Zone. It smells like a farm.

We are already into…

 

Jesse Sorensen .vs. Zema Ion

I think I’ve seen Zema Ion, and I remember thinking he was pretty decent. Jesse Sorensen is that loser with the football, isn’t he? Isn’t he? Yeah, he is. The best part about that gimmick is that he has this football jacket on, right? But, and this is the best part… it has no team name on it. Not even a college team. Or a sponsor. Something. ANYTHING. But no. Nothing. So like, he likes football so much that he had to have a fake jacket made up? That’s like showing up at the Super Bowl with a “Let’s Have A Nice, Clean Game, Gentlemen” t-shirt on. Besides, if he could play football at all, we all know he would NOT be in TNA. I digress.

When I joined in, Zema had Jesse’s football and claimed that the football was his now. Everyone was acting that this is a serious offense, and that you can’t just buy footballs anywhere. I guess TNA may not pay Jesse enough to get a replacement. Tenay and Taz are certainly pretending that it’s… I’m sorry. Where is Taz? There’s another guy talking with Mike Tenay. It sounds like Jeremy Borash. Zema does a moonsault off the apron onto Sorensen, and Sorensen doesn’t get up. He gets counted out.

Sorensen is either hurt or REALLY upset about losing that football. Ion heads up the ramp, while officials tell Sorensen that they’ll get him a new football as soon as soon as there’s some wiggle room in the budget. Dry those eyes. That’s my brave little guy.

Winner: Zema Ion

Tenay and Borash try to kill time, while they do crowd shots. Damn, is this dude really fucked up? They don’t show officials tending to Sorensen anymore. They’re just doing crowd shots. And some of these crowd members look horrified.

Instead they go to Roode, who does a great job of illustrating why I find him boring.

 

Apparently they’ve scraped Sorensen off the ground, because Robbie E comes to the ring, with Rob Terry doing the bouncer routine. He’s even got a clipboard that’s marked as “THE LIST”. Rob Terry is a huge waste of money for TNA, I realize that, but… that’s a pretty funny gimmick. Apparently Robbie E is the TV Champion. He calls out anyone to come and challenge him for his belt. This routine again? I don’t even care who it is, as long as it isn’t Shannon Moore.

TNA Television Title Match
Robbie E (c) (w/ Robbie T) .vs. Shannon Moore

FUCK!!!

Shannon does some hip tosses and the Robbie’s decide to leave. Shannon goes to get him, and brings him back in the ring. Robbie E takes control for a few minutes, until Shannon hits some lame moves. HA! ROBBIE T HAS AN EARPIECE!!! That’s fucking awesome. Running knee by Robbie E takes Shannon outside of the ring. How the fuck is Shannon Moore still employed? I miss Taz, he was always good for some drunken comments. Sorry, I’m not really focusing on this match. Funny gimmicks or not, these guys aren’t very good wrestlers. At one point, Robbie E tosses himself into the turnbuckle for kicks and to show how he can bump better without Shannon’s help. That’s pretty funny.

Some other stuff happens. I don’t know. Shannon does an asai moonsault and a top rope frankensteiner. Little dude is trying. Robbie T gets in some cheapshots. Robbie hits a swinging DDT and pins. At least Shannon didn’t win. FIST PUMP!

Winner and still TNA Television Champion: Robbie E

Robbie puts on his glasses and dances around.

 

TNA Knockouts Title Match
Gail Kim (c) (w/ Madison Rayne) .vs. Tara

I kind of assumed I’d take a break from this show during the women’s match, but given that these are two of the women that TNA has that can actually somewhat wrestle, I guess I’d better cover it. I’ve always been a fan of Gail Kim, especially after her stunt during that WWE Diva Battle Royal last year. Unfortunately, Gail Kim comes out with that one girl who has the bad Goo Goo Dolls cover song, who for some reason always looks like she’s fresh off a hit from the old glass dick. I’m told that she’s that Madison Rayne girl.

The crowd starts chanting for Tara right away. These girls have already gotten a better response than either of the two previous matches. Gail starts just kicking Tara’s ass, including a dropkick from the top rope. For some reason, Madison leaves, probably to go find an untapped vein. Gail looks confused, but keeps beating on Tara. She locks on a cool-looking submission. Gail then takes Tara to the top and does a frankensteiner… second one of those so far tonight. Try watching the matches before, ladies. Crowd is booing Gail even though she’s dominated the match all on her own so far. Tara with a DDT out of nowhere. Tara powers up and hits a couple clotheslines. Sidewalk slam by Tara gets 2.

Tara takes Madison up the ropes, then just tosses Gail over her shoulder to the mat. Then she hits a moonsault on Gail, which was a decent set of moves, but it looks like she hurt her knee. Eventually she pins but only gets 2. As Tara gets up and limps around, Gail hits a… falling… leg-based… jawbreaker? Or something? Whatever it is, it got her the win.

Winner and still TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim

Officials help Tara in the ring as Gail leaves.

James Storm cuts a decent promo in the back.

 

TNA World Tag Team Title Match
Crimson & Matt Morgan (c) .vs. Samoa Joe & Magnus

What the gumdrops is this? You’ve got to be kidding. You’re telling me that in the near half-year it’s been since I stopped watching TNA, Samoa Joe STILL can’t get away from these fools Morgan and Crimson?!?! Good God. Anyway, from what I read in the Roundtable, this match is taking place so that Crimson and Morgan can break up and have some sort of feud. Except that Crimson and Morgan already had a feud, and nobody cared. THAT feud ALSO involved them walking all over Joe. These guys are both losers. They’re both dead weight. Neither have produced anything of value for TNA. As for Joe and Magnus, this is pretty far down for Joe I’d say, but that’s nothing new, and I don’t know what he’s doing in this team, but Magnus is all right by me. The video package is awesome because it has background narration by Matt Morgan and Crimson explaining to everyone the feud they’re involved in. What’s with the fucking playing card graphics? Those look awful.

Swayze: I think Crimson, despite being undefeated, may have some self esteem issues, given he got the lamest fucking frat boy tats he could possibly find. I bet that fucker goes to the grocery store without a shirt on.

Joe and Morgan start out, and volley a bit, until the other tow are tagged in. Crimson gets the upper hand with some lame strikes a couple times, then a running knee. Joe with a cheap shot gets Magnus the upper hand. Joe comes in and hits a boot, Magnus hits a move I can’t recall, then Joe hits his backsplash. This gets 2. They double team a bit as Joe comes in. Frequent tags by Joe & Magnus. Joe just stomps and hits some strikes on Crimson to keep him down. Magnus back in with a sleeper. Crowd is pretty dead for this. Backdrop suplex by Magnus gets 2. Joe hits a chop which gets the only reaction this match has had so far. Yeah, you heard me, Adam. Tell Dixie I said so! Crimson hits a few shots, and a big boot. He looks pretty pleased about that big boot, too. “FOOT GO UP, MAN GET HURT! THAT GOOD!” Then he eats a Joe powerslam. Crimson doesn’t know what to do when confronted with actual wrestling moves. This match bites. We went from Team 3D, LAX, Motor City Machine Guns, and Beer Money… to this.

Crimson hits a top rope clothesline and tags Morgan. Morgan tosses Joe and around does a meeting of the minds and a double clothesline. A few very loud screamers are ALL about Matt Morgan and this is the new crowd reaction highlight of this match. Crimson is back in, and Joe gives him an eye rake, but Morgan and Crimson double-shoulder him down. Crimson takes a fall out of the ring, and Joe and Magnus double-team Morgan. Crimson comes in and accidentally spears Morgan. Joe hits a snapmare and Magnus hits an elbow, and they get the pin. That’s a pretty silly double-team finish, if all Joe does is a snapmare. Crowd was hot for the finish though.

Winners and new TNA World Tag Team Champions: Samoa Joe & Magnus

Backstage, Bully Ray cuts an awesome promo, and calls Christy Hemme ugly. He’s playing on the New York accent a little thick, though. He says he’s ready to win the World Title and piss off the wrestling world.

 

TNA X Division Title Match
Austin Aries (c) .vs. Alex Shelley

This is one of the only two matches that I’m really looking forward to tonight. A lot of people probably assume that my favourite wrestlers in TNA are AJ, Daniels, and Joe. While they’re near the top, I believe that Aries and Shelley are the best that TNA has, and I’ve thought that for years. Shelley is probably actually my favourite overall. Back in the glory days of ROH, Punk and Shelley were my top guys. It sucks that TNA has them in the undercard still, because that makes no sense, but this should be a good match. Apparently Jesse Sorensen has been transported to a “local medical facility” according to Mike Tenay. I guess he didn’t have time to say “hospital”.

They volley around each other and Aries showboats. They go back and forth a bit more with Shelley diving on Aries on the arena floor. Shelley with some chops, a snapmare, and a slingshot over the ropes and into the cover for 2. Duelling chants start, with the Shelley chants about 100 times louder. Aries snaps the neck of Shelley over the ropes and tries a slingshot moonsault, but Shelley gets his legs up. Shelley hits a thrust kick off the top, and clotheslines Aries over the top. Aries goes under the ring, and Shelley aborts a dive when he doesn’t see him on the floor… then Aries jumps him from behind and dives between the first and second ropes to hit a flying elbow on Shelley into the guardrail. Great spot.

Back in the ring, Aries works on Shelley’s back and gives him some chops in the corner. Snapmare and a jump on the face. Then he gives him a nice elbow from the second rope into Shelley’s shoulder while he’s sitting up. Another nice spot. Aries with a chinlock, Shelley gets up, but Aries pulls the hair down. Aries milks his pendulum elbow drop, but misses. Aries rakes the eyes, but Shelley hits a hard kick and a chop. He tosses him into a couple turnbuckles and hits an inside-out clothesline. Shelley hits a flatliner into the turnbuckle, which is the ONLY way that move looks good.

Then he tosses a knee to the back of Aries’ skull against the turnbuckle. Aries to the outside, but he goes back under the ring. Aries sneaks back under the ropes, but this time Shelley is ready for him, dumps him over the ropes and Aries hits his head on the apron. Shelley then hits a suicide dive HEADBUTT that takes Aries into the guardrail. Doesn’t look like that did wonders for Shelley’s neck. Shelley goes for that great double stomp, but misses and recovers, catches Aries into his finisher, but only gets 2.

Aries recovers and hits a pendulum elbow for 2. Shelley counters a brainbuster with a knee, but Aries hits him on the rebound off the ropes and Shelley goes down. Phew. Oh my God, Shelley then eats a fucking SICK looking Death Valley Driver on the APRON. Straight off the neck and shoulders. That was one of the sickest moves I’ve ever seen. Aries then hits an axe-handle off the top to the floor. Shelley gets tossed into the ring, and kicks out of a pin attempt. Aries to the top, but misses a 450 Splash. Shelley grabs him and hits Sliced Bread 2, pins, but Aries grabs the rope RIGHT on the three count. Amazing match so far.

Both guys slow to get up, until Aries hits that SICK running dropkick he does, then hits the brainbuster. Pin attempt only gets TWO and the crowd just goes completely batshit. “This is awesome” chant from the crowd, followed by a small package by Shelley for two. Shelley rolls up AGAIN, but abandons the pin and just kicks Aries straight up in the head, twice in a row for ANOTHER two count. Crowd is completely unglued now with the chants. Shelley goes for Sliced Bread again, but Aries catches him, hits some knees to the head, a brainbuster, then rolls him right over into Last Chancery for the win. Shelley taps.

Winner and still TNA X-Division Champion: Austin Aries

Fucking amazing match. Easily the best I’ve seen in a long time from any company. Shit was out of hand. I knew they wouldn’t disappoint if TNA let them go balls to the wall. No way any shit on this show tops that.

… but, it was no Mark Henry / Randy Orton match. Right, Jack Newbury?

Christy Hemme is talking to Jeff Hardy. Christ, he looks like an asshole. I’m amazed he can drive to the arena without having the shit kicked out of him. Hemme asks him about his back or something. He has fucked up eyes. He’s gunning for a Swayze Award pretty early this year. Smart move. Don’t waste time.

Swayze: That was Hardy?!?! I thought TNA got Vampiro.

 

AJ Styles .vs. Kazarian (w/ Christopher Daniels)

At least they’re not having Daniels threaten to murder AJ during a terrible match this time. Last I saw in TNA, that’s what they had those two guys doing. Yikes. AJ Styles is a tremendous wrestler. It’s amazing they still don’t have him on the top of the card. Kazarian is also a good wrestler and under-rated in my opinion. The video package tells me that Kaz has to do whatever Daniels tells him? Or something? And we don’t know why? Oh boy, TNA does not do well with payoffs on these types of storylines. Those retarded playing card graphics completely ruin the serious feel they were going for.

Kazarian goes for the handshake. AJ isn’t buying. He wants answers. Then he tears Kaz’s shirt off. That’s a pretty homo-erotic start to this. AJ with a headlock. If the last match and the crowd reaction has taught TNA anything, it’s that they can just let guys wrestle without over-booking the shit out of things. They do start slow, as they need to warm the crowd up after that last one. They trade holds for a bit, while the crowd chants that Daniels sucks. AJ tosses Kaz out of the ring. Styles with some kicks and strikes when he gets back in. Kaz eventually sidesteps a Styles charge and hits a sliced-bread-ish maneuver. Kaz then… leaves the ring for some reason. He dodges a Styles dive, but Styles runs down the apron with a flying forearm. Clever spot. Back in the ring, Kaz dodges another Styles dodge and catches Styles hard with a monkey flip. He follows up with an elbow that gets 2.

Crowd is pretty dead so far. Kaz hits some sort of flippy-hip-toss that was kinda cool for 2. Kaz hits an atomic drop and a spin kick. 2 count. Kaz sends Styles to the ropes and hits a great single-leg dropkick. Armlock by Kaz. Styles tries to power back up with some strikes, and hits a few clotheslines on Kaz. Styles takes Kaz up in the air and drops him back-first across the knee. Nice move, reminds me of Roderick Strong, Then Styles picks Kaz up, drops him on his face, and gets 2. Styles runs into a Kaz boot in the corner, then Kaz hits a mule dropkick that gets him 2. AJ retreats to the apron, and Kaz dives over, and drives Styles’ head into the apron. That was a very cool move. AJ recovers and slingshots in, but Kaz catches him in an RKO-like-move. 2-count. Styles goes to the ropes, but Kaz jumps ALL the way up and gives AJ a boot to the face. Styles laid back on the top rope against the post.

Kaz climbs up after them, and they battle on the top. AJ headbutts him and they go down. Elbow by AJ, followed by the flipping inverted DDT. 2-count. Kaz reverses an irish-whip with a nice reverse-DDT-ish move that I have no idea how to describe. It was cool, though. They volley with some pin attempts and surfboards, until AJ hits a pele kick. Styles then goes to the apron and teases a springboard forearm, but he LITERALLY stops on the rope, then shoots off the other way and hits Daniels down on the floor. Crowd goes wild. That was a really cool spot that was clever, but not too over-the-top.

AJ goes into the ring, tries a springboard, but Kaz is ready him… Kaz hits Fade To Black tombstone for the pin. Great move. Decent match.

Winner: Kazarian 

I don’t like to over-analyze this stuff, as I’m not a wrestler and am not going to pretend like I know what will make a decent match, as too many people try to do that – but this match had a few pretty good spots, decent pacing in my opinion, it seemed like they can’t find the crowd though… at least until Styles dove on Daniels. Unfortunately, that was 8 seconds before the end of the match.

 

Christy Hemme is talking to Bischoff and Gunner. Bischoff wants Gunner to beat the shit out of his kid, I guess? Bischoff wants Gunner to give a towel to Hogan, so Hogan can throw in the towel for Bischoff’s kid. I need a video package to explain what the fuck is going on here.

Gunner (w/ Eric Bischoff)  vs. Garett Bischoff (w/ Hulk Hogan)

The video package is helpful in letting me know immediately that I don’t need to give a shit about this match in any way whatsoever. But I’ll still watch it and recap it for you, the good people of Inside Pulse. I’m dedicated!

Gunner needs to go to a barber, and tell the barber that he’s sick of looking like an asshole, and see what the barber can do for him. He’s like Crimson and Morgan – I can’t believe he’s still around. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen Garrett Bischoff before. He sucks probably, right? I’ll give him a chance, but just tell me. Right? He sucks. Right? Yeah. He sucks. He looks like a complete chump. Crowd goes nuts when Hogan comes out, so they got that at least.

It starts off, and Eric’s kid can hip toss but clearly can’t dropkick. Gunner does a takedown. Nor can Bischoff’s kid hit punches, apparently. Gunner kicks him some, and hits some eye rakes and a shoulder thrust. Garrett punches, but Gunner fights back with… axe handles. So basically, TNA has not abandoned that strategy of sending Bischoff, Flair and Hogan out with shitty wrestlers and hoping for the best? Good to know. Bischoff grabs his kid’s leg so Gunner can hit… some more punches to the neck.

Garrett runs into Gunner for the move of the match so far. Surfboard attempt gets two. Garrett with a sleeper. A resthold?!?! From what?!?! Gunner tries a charge, but Garrett hits a rollup and an ATOMIC DROP! Gunner pushes Garrett into the ropes and hits a clothesline to the back of the head. Bischoff’s kid powers up with punches. Gunner also hits some punches. Then a sleeper across the ropes. Garrett is down, and Gunner hits stomps. It’s been like 7 or 8 minutes already, and they haven’t done a single thing.

Bischoff is happy. Hogan is concerned. Garrett with punches. Knee by Gunner. Knee to the back of the head by Gunner as some type of submission. Gunner with a chinlock. That lasts for literally about a minute, then he hits elbows him on the neck. I guess they’re reluctant to try moves after that dropkick attempt. SUPLEX by Gunner. Crowd is absolutely dead. At one point Garrett picks up Gunner and just drops him on his face awkwardly. Garrett hits a couple elbows.

Time has lost all meaning. I pray this is almost over. Gunner gets back in control, and Bischoff hits his useless scrub kid in the face. Hogan goes over to Bischoff as the crowd comes alive for the first time, and punches him in the face which gets a Hogan chant. Jesus, they could have just done THAT and not had this match, right? Gunner with a neckbreaker. Crowd starts a small chant for Garrett. Hogan’s advice to Garrett is to “fight back”. Brilliant psychology. Gunner hits more elbows. Then a few knees. He’s out of moves. Hogan has told Garrett to “fight back” like 20 times in the last 3 minutes.

Hogan now has a towel, and he goes up on the apron to toss it in, and Garrett tells him not to. Then Gunner hits a DDT. Pin.

Winner: Gunner

Garrett should have just fought back like Hogan said. I’m pretty sure that would have worked.

Jeremy Borash: What a win for Gunner.

 

Christy Hemme talks to Sting. He cuts the usual Sting promo.

TNA World Heavyweight Title Match
Bobby Roode .vs. James Storm .vs. Jeff Hardy .vs. Bully Ray
Special Enforcer: Sting 

I don’t care about Roode at all. I’m sorry. I don’t. I know the guy works hard, and I’m glad TNA gave it to a younger guy, but… I just fucking don’t. Not even a little. He’s boring as fuck. James Storm isn’t my favourite, but he’s all right by me. He’s decent in the ring and knows how to work the crowd. Our new TNA man Adam made a comment earlier that he doesn’t like Storm because he’s fat… yet Adam enjoys Mark Henry.

Jeff Hardy? I don’t give a shit about him either. Even the TNA fans who cheer for Hardy know that he sucks. Hardy had a great last run in WWE, I’m not a fan of the guy at all, but I know that much is true. However, the height of Hardy’s TNA career is something very few of you probably remember. It was during this one match between Anderson and Morgan in 2009, and Jeff Hardy was out watching the match. He had a ladder up on the ramp for some reason, and out of nowhere, he just starts having sex with the ladder during the match. It was the most distracting thing I’ve ever seen. It was more entertaining than the match. I think that’s Jeff Hardy’s new strategy for his career. That way, even though he sucks, people still come to see him. People will be like “well, he still sucks, but he’s… distracting.” It’s probably one of the smarter moves he’s made in his career.

Bully Ray? I’ve enjoyed his singles run. It’s surprised the hell out of me. Just give him the belt and let him beat all these other dudes up already.

 

Sting gets a good pop when he comes out. Ray gets some good heat. Storm’s new music is pretty lame. Hardy gets the usual screaming pop. TNA fans are retarded. He looks ridiculous.

Swayze: Jeff Hardy looks like the things that the Power Rangers used to fight. 

Roode comes out. I don’t think it was a great heel reaction, but I’m sure people will yell at me for that. Ray yells at Christie and does his own intro. Crazy heat for Ray. More girls scream for Jeff. Damn Twilight fans.

The heels and babyfaces team up on each other. Babyfaces in control. Then heels in control. I don’t know, 4-way matches are kind of a mess a lot of the time. I’l give you the highlights. Storm and Roode gear up for a Beer Money double-team, but Roode punches Storm instead. Tenay and Borash try to sell the WWE history between Ray and Hardy, as the crowd chants “D-Von’s better”. Ray gives Hardy a suplex off the top rope. Ray hits the Tower Of Doom on the other 3 guys. This gets a “holy shit” chant? Wow. Ray tries to pin a few guys, but it doesn’t work.

Hardy hits a stunner. Ray flattens the ref. Ray then hits a Bubba-bomb that would have gotten 3. Sting attempts to wake the ref. Hardy then gets up IMMEDIATELY and hits a Twist Of Hate, which also would have gotten 3. Ref still out. This is anti-climatic. Roode hits a spear on Hardy. Storm hits the codebreaker on Roode, followed by the Last Call Superkick, but Ray pulls the ref out. Sting / Ray confrontation leads to Storm accidentally taking out that referee. Wow, that referee sucks.

Hardy with a Twist Of Fate on Roode, then he takes off his shirt and the girls in the crowd all orgasm. He goes for a Swanton, but Roode moves out of the way. Roode grabs the belt, but Sting comes in and takes it away. Roode and Sting argue, and Roode shoves Sting. Sting refuses to hit him back.

They argue for another minute or so, then Roode spits in his face, and Sting accidentally hits Hardy with the belt. Sting then yells at Roode, and Roode covers Hardy and tells Sting to count. Sting reluctantly goes to count, and Roode gets the win.

Winner and still TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Bobby Roode

It seems to me, that with Roode, Sting would have made a point NOT to count the pin, just to piss Roode off… considering he didn’t count the pin for Ray or for Hardy. Ha. That’s hilarious.

Roode and Sting stare down. Eventually Roode leaves, and Sting helps Hardy up.

End show.

 

Well, there were two decent matches tonight. Zema / Sorensen might have been good, I didn’t see enough of it to honestly say. It’s funny how they go from those matches, to the two matches they had at the end of the show. That Gunner / Garrett match was fucking painful to watch, and the 4-way was pretty dull too, but the finish? That was just plain contradictory. Pretty much par the course for TNA main events. Pretty unsatisfying to say the least. At least I got to see Shelley and Aries tear that shitty arena apart. That was awesome.

This has been “That Being Said”. Thanks for reading, and have an awesome week! I’ll be in my trailer.
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Interinactivity: 02.03.2012 – The Great White Smoke http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/02/03/interinactivity-02-03-2012-the-great-white-smoke/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/02/03/interinactivity-02-03-2012-the-great-white-smoke/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 12:00:25 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=135053 This week, I pretty much had no choice but to cover Royal Rumble thoughts. These comments are taken from CB’s Royal Rumble Snapshot Recap, The Smart Rant For Royal Rumble by Scott Keith, 10 Thoughts On Royal Rumble by Kelly Floyd, Kyle’s Files by Kyle Fitta, and No Chance by Joel Leonard.

 

No Chance By Joel Leonard

Joel Leonard: Again we have what is supposed to be one of the most important titles getting pushed to the opening match of the show. I know that the Rumble match presents a unique situation, but this just continues the trend that is undermining the supposed integrity of the World Heavyweight Champion.

Blair: The World Heavyweight Title has been the B Title in WWE for some time now, but given recent events, and how much attention is generally paid to it… it’s now basically the ECW Title. Not the good one, either. The SyFy ECW Title.

 

Joel Leonard: They went for some intense pulling of heartstrings in the John Cena promo.

Blair: You know what, I actually half-enjoyed that video package. Not so much the music, but let’s face it, kids are not going to abandon John Cena as long as he’s a babyface. I don’t think the video package was necessarily designed to try to win people over for Cena as much as I think it was designed to remind the people that DO like him that he’s still a big hero. And remind people that DON’T like him that he still has plenty of supporters.

 

Joel Leonard: Entrants #1 and #2 last year were CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, both of who are defending major titles at the same event one year later. So, Anybody feeling bold enough to call Miz and Alex Riley for the title defenders at the 2013 Royal Rumble?

Blair: Yeah. Anyone?

 

Joel Leonard: Had this been any other match all of the silly bits may have annoyed me but because it was the Rumble, I knew that more “serious wrestlers” would be out later and there was no real risk of Rodriguez actually getting a main event shot at WrestleMania, so I enjoyed it for what it was.

Blair: Okay, this is tremendous. Way too many nerds bitch about silly stuff in the Rumble. The fucking thing is over an hour long, and comedy bits help slow things down and relax the crowd. I’m not sure last Sunday’s Rumble needed it per se, but they didn’t have a lot else planned. This is good advice. Enjoy Rumble comedy for what it is, because usually it’s a lot better than all the other “comedy” that WWE attempts.

 

Joel Leonard: Who’s responsible for making me think that Khali had retired?

Blair: I’m sure that whoever it was must have been playing a joke on you, because there’s no concept of “retirement” in professional wrestling. No one retires in wrestling. They get crippled or die. Take a look at Ric Flair. If he has his way, they’ll be doing the wrestling version of Weekend At Bernie’s with his corpse.

 

Joel Leonard: It was no Spider-man jump/The Floor is Lava/Balancing act back to the ring spot that Morrison had last year.

Blair: You’re right. It was better.

Joel Leonard: But it was close enough.

Blair: *sigh*

 

Joel Leonard: Both this year and last year, wrestlers who had matches earlier in the night were given slots in the Rumble. I always wonder why they would do this.

Blair: So that wrestlers who competed earlier who don’t have a World Title could still have a shot at winning one?

 

Joel Leonard: Theoretically Ziggler could have potentially been champion when he entered the Rumble. So what would happen if he wins?

Blair: Then he wouldn’t have entered the Royal Rumble and they would have used someone else.

Joel Leonard: Go after the Heavyweight Championship as well, and have a title Unification match?

Blair: Yes. Or that. Although I’m pretty certain they’re not just going to unify titles because Dolph Ziggler says so.

Joel Leonard: Or can he choose to go after his own title and then just spend WrestleMania holding his belt and giggling in the corner of the ring?

Blair: Yes, he can totally do that.

Also, CM Punk really did quit and walk out with the belt last year, all those people really did get lost on an island in the South Pacific, and I personally voted for David Palmer myself.

See that? In my answer I dropped one wrestling reference and TWO pop culture references.

Maybe I should start a pop culture column? Oooh, that would be SCARY.

 

Joel Leonard: WWE put every single announcer in the Rumble. And it’s not that I hated the fact that these guys were taking up valuable Rumble slots. I wasn’t crazy about it but I didn’t mind. No the problem with this is that once all three of them had been eliminated they spent the rest of the time on the mic talking about their brief entrants and hardly even mentioned the fact that there was a major match going on right in front of them for the rest of the night.

Blair: Right. Because there was just SO much going on at the time.

 

Joel Leonard: Yea, I’m excited Kharma’s back. I don’t know what she’s going to do since Beth Phoenix and Natalya pretty much took her gimmick when she got pregnant, but I’m excited.

Blair: Beth Phoenix and Natalya’s gimmick was morphing into a single giant black woman who could kill half the entire male roster?

 

Joel Leonard: What was most impressive about the end of the Rumble this year was how good of a match Jericho and Sheamus were having at the end. Filled with lots of near eliminations and close calls on both of them, plus lots of investment from the crowd. It was just about as good a singles match as any of the earlier matches on the card tonight.

Blair: You know what, as bad as this Shaemus thing is going to flop, and as funny as it will be when it does, no one was more surprised than me at how much these two volleyed (volley’d? Whatever.) at the end, and how good it was. Most things with Jericho are pretty good like this, but Shaemus pulled his weight too. Credit where it’s due.

Really though, Shaemus? Fucking Shaemus? Ha.

 

Mike Gojira: The same can be said for # 30 with Big Show, although they could say Henry was still unconscious or something.

Blair: Or still making his way through the backstage area.

 

Ryan Alarie: With the announcers, my only question was that how could Cole be shocked by their entries when they were wearing their tights the entire PPV (heck, Booker was apparently not wearing pants).

Blair: HAHAHAHAHA. That’s fucking awesome. Is this true? If so, hilarious.

 

Kyle’s Files

Kyle Fitta: If you compare Punk’s first run as champion to Daniel Bryan’s run, you can see the difference I am talking about. Punk won matches in fluky ways and never was allowed to look better than his opponents as a babyface, which made him look weak as a champion and made him less over. Meanwhile, Bryan is cheating and winning in cheap ways but it’s making him more of a credible (heel) champion and more over.

Blair: I could not agree with you more. I actually felt like that first Punk run was going to lead to a heel turn, which I think could have worked.

 

Kyle Fitta: Why would two people who hate each other want to try to wrestle and pin each other?

Blair: Wait, what? That’s what it’s about, like 90% of the time. They don’t know how to do that “this is in the spirit of competition thing” very well or very often anymore.

 

Kyle Fitta: So, why aren’t these two just trying to kill each other?

Blair: Because manslaughter is illegal.

Kyle Fitta: Wouldn’t that be the true thing that  Kane and Cena would be trying to accomplish instead of a meaningless pinfall that means nothing?

Blair: No. John Cena rises above hate.

 

Kyle Fitta: I believe that this stupid angle for McIntrye isn’t going to help him or anyone out at all. He has talent and now they’re wasting it.

Blair: Fuck Drew McIntyre. The guy is Lance Storm levels of boring.

 

Kyle Fitta: The comedy presented by Foley, Santino, and especially Richardo Rodriguez was gold.

Blair: It was GOLD, Jerry. GOLD!!!

 

10 Thoughts On Royal Rumble

Kelly Floyd: I’m really curious as to why we keep throwing Henry and Show into stipulation matches.

Blair: Have you ever seen them wrestle in matches WITHOUT stipulations? Unless Big Show is breaking the ring, wearing a sumo thong or doing top rope elbows, there’s not much fun to be had.

 

Kelly Floyd: It feels like they need a stipulation to take away from the fact that neither really packs more than a giant set of biceps.

Blair: And giant, fat, disgusting asses.

 

Kelly Floyd: The booty pop that Eve seems to always be doing now infuriates me. It goes to show that the Divas aren’t just a set of tits…they have asses, too!

Blair: Kelly, you are our only female columnist that I’m aware of. We are very lucky to have your female viewpoint on here, and we website count on you to deliver an accurate female perspective. You have a responsibility to the women who read this site. All of them. All 6 of them.

So you, above everyone else, REALLY should know that if you’re looking for decent women’s wrestling, you’re not going to find it in WWE.

 

Kelly Floyd: It is really cool to see Zack swimming in this big ocean. I love the guy; he’s really silly and entertaining. But I’ve always kind of wondered how he would fare in a serious feud. But, going head to head with the super serious Kane has proven him worthy, in my own opinion. He’s making it work and selling the angle. He finds new ways to prove himself, and I’m on board!

Blair: Well get ready, because it looks like that boat has more holes than a cheese grater now. This entire thing has made Zack look like a huge bitch who needs Cena to save him. While it has given him screen time, it’s failed to deliver him credibility that he desperately needed at the start of this push. If I were him, I’d be pissed. After all he did to get himself over with NO support from WWE.

 

Kelly Floyd: Can someone explain to me why they threw Brodus Clay into a match simply to squash his opponent in seconds?

Blair: Because that’s what they’ve been doing for weeks now?

 

Kelly Floyd: The PPV ended about fifteen minutes early…they couldn’t just squeeze in an extra minute or two to make the dancing buffoon look strong against the recently rehired McIntyre who can’t even beat Santino?

Blair: Make him look strong? He beat Drew with NO effort. What purpose would a few extra minutes have served? You really wanted to see him beat up Drew for another 15 minutes? THAT’S the match you would have extended?

 

Kelly Floyd: I have to admit, I about fell over when Socko and The Cobra faced off. Gold.

Blair: That’s TWO Kenny Banya’s for the Santino / Foley bit!

 

Kelly Floyd: Speaking of returns…is The Undertaker ever coming back?

Blair: Undertaker shouldn’t be working a lot anymore. He’s not far from a cripple these days.

 

Kelly Floyd: Call me crazy, but I just thought at least one of those three spots could have gone to pretty much anyone else.

Blair: I actually think they did it because they DIDN’T have anyone else. Cole, Lawler and Booker all probably got better responses than a guy like JTG or Tyler Reks or whoever would.

 

Kelly Floyd: Though I would have loved to see Jericho win it, who better than Sheamus?

Blair: How about Jericho?

 

Kelly Floyd: I think it’s great that recent winners have been somewhat newer, getting a chance to sink or swim at Wrestlemania.

Blair: So far, most of them have sunk. Miz and Del Rio are good examples. Shaemus will be the next one.

 

Mike Gojira: (To Kelly) Well until I get a Booty Pop from you, Eve trumps all.

Blair: Shameless.

 

Victor: The bar I was in went nuts for Kharma. Best moment of the night.

Blair: You watched Royal Rumble in a lesbian bar? Awesome.

 

The Smark Rant For Royal Rumble

Scott Keith: They’ve gotta let Henry sit out for a couple of months or else he’s gonna be done for good by Wrestlemania.

Blair: NO MARK HENRY AT WRESTLEMANIA?!?!

You mean it’ll be just like almost all those other WrestleMania’s they’ve had in the 15 years that he’s been with the company?

 

Scott Keith: Man, whose dog did Riley run over?

Blair: You mean when he was drunk driving in 2010?

 

Scott Keith: I just don’t get this whole thing where they find their decent prospects and then job them out of existence in a weird self-fulfilling prophecy.

Blair: It’s usually because their decent prospects turn out to be less than decent.

 

Scott Keith: Kofi Kingston gets tossed by the Miz, but lands on his HANDS and does a handstand to the stairs to save himself.  That got, I shit you not, a near-standing ovation from the movie theatre.

Blair: I believe that.

 

Scott Keith: Sheamus getting the unpredictable win with the Brogue Kick to eliminate Jericho.  I don’t see him in the title match by Wrestlemania somehow.

Blair: Haven’t you been paying attention! Shaemus is the future! He’ll be main-eventing WrestleMania with Wade Barrett in 2013!

 

CB’S World – Royal Rumble Snapshot

CB: Henry’s injury must have really affected some of the planning.

Blair: You mean you were deprived of the chance to see all those awesome moves that Mark Henry normally does?

 

CB: Does Sheamus moving into a main event slot at WrestleMania really excite the fans as much as Jericho would have?

Blair: How dare you doubt Irish Crimson’s ability to draw a WrestleMania buy-rate with his main-event slot. He’s a cornerstone!

 

CB: On a personal note, congratulations to Sheamus for winning his first Royal Rumble.

Blair: Do you know Shaemus personally?

 

Well, I guess that’s about it! I had fun reading all the Royal Rumble columns, so thanks to the other writers for doing them. That Rumble was interesting to say the least.

Everyone have a good weekend. I’ll be in my trailer.
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Full Lineup for Huge WrestleReunion Show Taking Place This Weekend in Los Angeles http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/01/27/full-lineup-for-huge-wrestlereunion-show-taking-place-this-weekend-in-los-angeles/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2012/01/27/full-lineup-for-huge-wrestlereunion-show-taking-place-this-weekend-in-los-angeles/#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2012 13:15:08 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=134740 Courtesy of Indy Wrestling Express:

This weekend, WrestleReunion is coming to Los Angeles! Each day will be capped off with a wrestling show (Dragon Gate USA on Friday, Pro Wrestling Superstars on Saturday, Pro Wrestling Guerrilla on Sunday), but there will be a lot more stuff happening throughout each day. Here is the full schedule, taken from http://www.wrestlereunion.com:

Friday 1/27 10:00 am- VIP Registration opens 1

2:00- 1:30 pm Mike Lano History of LA Expo (VIP Only) VIP Exclusive: Celebration Seminar of California Wrestling. Mike Lano leads a photo and video presentation into the history of theSoCal Territory. Notable members of LA’s history will be in attendance including longtime lead play by play L.A. lucha libre show announcer Miguel Alonzo, “Judo” Gene Labell, Jeff Walton, Art Williams, Mando Guerrero, Dario Romero (Ricky Romero’s brother), Bob and Jerry Christy (son’s of Ted/Vic Christy), Pepper Martin, Rock Riddle, Sandy Parker, Barbi Dahl, Pepper Gomez’s widow Bonnie, Kenji Shibuya’s widow Carol, Jesse Hernandez, Billy Rogers, Jack Armstrong, Carlos Mata, Black Gordman, Fritz Von Goring, Paul Diamond (original).

12 noon – List of Wrestlers signing on Friday

Superstar Billy Graham (signing following CA Wrestling Seminar)

Magnificent Mimi (signing following CA Wrestling Seminar)

Dick Beyer “the Destroyer” (signing following CA Wrestling Seminar)

Gene Labell (signing following CA Wrestling Seminar)

Dark Journey (times TBD at Hollywood Book and Poster)

1:30-2:30 pm- Arena Chicks mini-show (VIP only)

2:30-4:00 pm- Colt Cabana Podcast w/ Mikey Whipwreck (VIP only)

4:00-5:00 pm- Q&A with New Age Outlaws & Mick Foley (VIP only)

END OF VIP EXCLUSIVES

5:00 pm- Three Faces of Foley Deluxe Photo-Op($20 each)

5:15- Cactus Jack

5:30- Dude Love

5:45- Mankind

5:00 pm- New Age Outlaws Video-Op $40

6:00 pm- Shelley Martinez Deluxe Bikini Photo-Op $30

6:00 pm- Fifi The Maid Deluxe Bikini Photo-Op $30

6:00 pm- Raven Video-Ops $30

7:00 pm- Dragon Gate pre-show Meet & Greet (front 3 rows only)

8:15 pm- Dragon Gate USA show (full card HERE)

11:30 pm- Special $5 Wrestling Live with Colt Cabana and Marty DeRosa (all tickets are $5)

 

Saturday 1/28

9:00 am – Conventions opens

Tori Poch at RF Video Booth Opens (appearing until 12:00 pm)

Dark Journey at Hollywood Book and Poster (appearing until 2pm)

Billy Graham and Rosita appearing all day courtesy of Scott Epstein

9:30 am

Mick Foley Video OP ( as scheduled)

Vader Deluxe Photo Op (until 9:45 a.m.)

Fit Finlay at Highspots.com Booth (appearing until 11:30 am)

10:00 am

God Father & Ho’s Deluxe Video Op (as scheduled)

Supreme w/ Sage Sinn & Kano at MEXPW Booth (appearing until 1:00 pm)

Sara Gene Underwood at American Icon Booth (appearing until 12:00 pm)

Ivan Putski at American Icon Booth (appearing until 12:00 pm)

10:30 am

Miss Tessmacher *Bikini*Deluxe Photo Op (until 10:45 am)

Nitro Girl Spice *Bikini* Deluxe Photo Op (until 10:45 am)

Rhythm & Blues Deluxe Photo Op (until 10:45 am)

Honky Tonk Man at RF Video Booth (appearing until 1:30 pm)

11:00 am

Dreamer & Raven Deluxe Photo Op (until 11:15 am)

Scott Steiner Video Op (as scheduled)

Konnan at RF Video Booth (appearing until 2:00 pm)

Kris Kloss at MEXPW Booth (appearing until 4:00 pm)

11:30 am

Papa Shango Deluxe Photo Op (until 11:45 am)

Miss Tessmacher at Highspots.com Booth (until 1:30 pm)

12:00 pm

Scott Steiner Deluxe Photo Op (until 12:15 pm)

Kevin Sullivan Video Op (as scheduled)

Ken Shamrock at American Icon Booth (until 2:00 pm)

Dan Severn at American Icon Booth (until 2:00 pm)

Larry Zbyszko at American Icon Booth (until 2:00 pm)

12:30 pm

Steiner Brothers Deluxe Photo Op (until 12:45 pm)

1:00 pm

Vader Video Op (as scheduled)

Kevin Sullivan & Rick Steiner Deluxe Photo Op (until 1:15 pm)

2:00 VIP/GA Autograph and Photos begin

VIP Guests appearing until 5pm

Maryse

Rick Steiner

Mick Foley

Kevin Sullivan

Great Sasuke

Tommy Dreamer

Scott Steiner

Carlos Colon

Big Van Vader

Charles Wright (Godfather)

Kevin Von Erich

Mikey Whipwreck

BG & Kip James

Harry Smith

Molly

Spice (Nitro Girl)

2pm Vendor Guests Include

Shane Douglas at TRUE Vendor Booth (2-6pm)

Tajiri at RF Video Booth (until 5:00 pm)

Chavo Guerrero Jr. at RF Video Booth (until 5:00 pm)

Sid Vicious at American Icon Booth (until 4:00 pm)

Brutus Beefcake at American Icon Booth (until 2:00 pm)

Greg Valentine at American Icon Booth (until 4:00 pm)

3:00

The Messiah at MEXPW Booth (until 5:00 pm)

4:00

Mike Tyson at American Icon Booth (until 6:00 pm)

Lanny Poffo at American Icon Boot (until 6:00 pm)

5:00

Jimmy Hart Video Op (as scheduled)

6:00 Convention ends

7:00 pm- Meet/Greet for people seated on the first 3 rows for the PWS show.

8:15 pm- PWS Supershow begins

 

Sunday 1/29 (No vendors)

Events

9:00-11:00 am – Breakfast of Champions ($49 random table, $75 to select table)

Tables Available

Table 1 Kevin Von Erich (SOLD OUT)

Table 2 Scott Steiner and Rick Steiner (SOLD OUT)

Table 3 Big Van Vader and Colt Cabana (SOLD OUT)

Table 4 Tommy Dreamer and Mikey Whipwreck

Table 5 Molly Holly / Nitro Girl Spice

Table 6 Kevin Sullivan and Raven

Table 7 Fit Finlay and Harry Smith

Table 8 Godfather and Jimmy Hart

12:00 pm Meet & Greet for PWG show (Rows 1 & 2 only)

1:00-4:00 pm – Pro Wrestling Guerrilla presents Kurt Russellmania 3 (full card HERE)

General Admission $25

2nd Row $50

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