Inside Pulse Wrestling » Smackdown http://wrestling.insidepulse.com Wrestling news, rumors, reviews and commentary, from WWE to TNA to ROH and everything in between... Sat, 13 Sep 2014 21:52:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.9.2 Wrestling news, rumors, reviews and commentary, from WWE to TNA to ROH and everything in between... Inside Pulse Wrestling no Wrestling news, rumors, reviews and commentary, from WWE to TNA to ROH and everything in between... Inside Pulse Wrestling » Smackdown http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/wp-content/plugins/powerpress/rss_default.jpg http://wrestling.insidepulse.com Complete WWE Friday Night Smackdown Results for September 12, 2014 (Spoilers) http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/09/10/complete-wwe-friday-night-smackdown-results-for-september-12-2014-spoilers/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/09/10/complete-wwe-friday-night-smackdown-results-for-september-12-2014-spoilers/#comments Wed, 10 Sep 2014 05:31:28 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169837 Results from tonight’s Smackdown tapings in Wilkes-Barre, PA

Main Event

Seth Rollins b Jack Swagger with the curb stomp

Cesaro b Zack Ryder via leg submission

Adam Rose b Titus O’Neil with a roll-up after distraction from the bunny

The Ascension b Los Matadores with the high-low

Smackdown

Usos & Big Show & Mark Henry b Goldust & Stardust & Erick Rowan & Luke Harper – Bray Wyatt was at ringside. Big Show knocked out Goldust and Jey Uso pinned him after a splash.

Kane & Randy Orton & Seth Rollins talked about finishing Roman Reigns on Raw. This led to the announcement of Orton & Rollins vs. Reigns & Chris Jericho.

Bo Dallas b Justin Gabriel – Dallas won and Jack Swagger chased him away after the match. Zeb Colter had cut a pro-USA promo before the match started when he and Swagger came out.

Paige b Summer Rae – A.J. was doing commentary. Lots of C.M. Punk chants. Paige won with the black widow. Layla was at ringside with Summer Rae and A.J. used Paige’s own Paige Turner on Layla as part of the mind games.

Mark Henry b Rusev in the arm wrestling match.

Lana and Rusev wanted a rematch left handed.

This time Lana threw powder in Henry’s eyes and Rusev beat him down and left him laying.

R-Truth & Dolph Ziggler b The Miz & Damien Mizdow. R-Truth dressed up like Ziggler and Ziggler claimed he was his stunt double.

Chris Jericho & Roman Reigns b Seth Rollins & Randy Orton. Jericho pinned Orton with a roll-up.

This led to Jericho vs. Orton and Reigns vs. Rollins being added to Night of Champions.

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Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for September 9th 2014: What Did We Do To Deserve This (In A Good Way)? http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/09/05/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-september-9th-2014-what-did-we-do-to-deserve-this-in-a-good-way/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/09/05/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-september-9th-2014-what-did-we-do-to-deserve-this-in-a-good-way/#comments Fri, 05 Sep 2014 22:29:34 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169755 Good evening to you all. I’ve had rather a nice day off, relaxing, writing and watching some Dutch movies for the first time. Did you know that the Dutch make some fucked-up movies? I didn’t. With that being said, it’s time to get this review done so that I can go and watch moar.

It starts, as ever it must, with Brock Lesnar and John Cena II: ‘Opus Dei’. I love that Brock Lesnar seems to count Cena wanting a rematch as a failure on his part; that guy is such a perfectionist. And I am sticking to my guns and saying the only way I’d be happy with a Cena victory would be if Lesnar keeled over after the bell rang, and then Cena showed footage of Roman Reigns poisoning everything Lesnar ate or drank over the last month.

Cena comes out all red and cheerful, like a man whose near-cannibalisation on live TV was not applauded by every wrestling website in the world. He makes some joke about your strange sports and colours, and we’re in Nebraska. He says that he’s facing Lesnar in three weeks, just in case we were worried that what happened on RAW meant anything. He gripes about people thinking he shouldn’t wrestle Lesnar, and considering that CM Punk, the Undertaker, Triple H and a bunch of Ruthless Aggression era guys have all put on less baby-sealesque displays against Brock, I don’t know why he doesn’t understand about the situation. Seriously, the Hardy Boyz did better against Lesnar than Cena did. He then shills the Network and can we all. Just. Fucking. Stop.

Kane and Seth Rollins come out with mics and start heckling Cena a la Statler and Waldorf, which is actually about as funny as the concept sounds. Cena mocks them, and that material was more comedic than literally anything you’ve ever said into a microphone, John. He then proves it by…yep, trying comedy. Kane once again makes his job description weird by threatening Cena with ADMINISTRATIVE ABILITY, and this brings out Roman Reigns. And can we all admire the fact that on RAW, he straight-up laughed about almost crushing Seth Rollins’ skull? What an amazing psychopath. He says that Orton’s not here tonight, so he feels like he might casually assault Seth and Kane some more. Cena’s up for that, because Brock Lesnar thinks that SmackDown! is a sex move and always changes the subject when Heyman mentions it. Kane and Rollins laugh at them, and these guys are like Mean Girls tonight, and I love it. Oh, and the Wyatts show up. Oh, and then Chris Jericho shows up. Oh, and Mark Henry and Big Show shows up. Oh, and Triple H shows up? Fuck it, this already better than your average show. Hunter bitches about having basically an amazing job, and then imitates Teddy Long, which is just points for him and makes a ten-man tag match. Hell, that was hilarious. Even with Cena’s involvement and Triple H’s ‘can I laugh at this?’ impression of a black man. Dutch movies full of nudity can wait.

Wow, First The Fappening And Now This

Sheamus is on commentary when we come back, and I was pleasantly surprised by how inoffensive he was last time. He just sounded like a nice, fairly humorous, up-for-some-craic guy out there, so why can’t he be like that always? Oh, and Ziggler’s fighting Cesaro, so…seriously, what’s happening here? Why are good things happening on SmackDown!?

Bell ring-a-ding-dings and we get set for our first match. Ziggler gets taken over by Cesaro, who slaps the back of his head and puts him in a sleeper. Ziggler shoots him off the ropes and gets knocked down, goes for a hip-toss, gets countered, and Dolph hits the neckbreaker. Cesaro runs into a back elbow; Dolph tries to fly from the second rope, gets caught in mid-air and back-breakered. Punch to Ziggler’s face, and Cesaro chokes him on the ropes before hitting an uppercut from the outside. He wrenches Ziggler’s head, and Sheamus seems to have the mystical power to make commentary sound like a conversation between friends in a bar; is he a Cole-whisperer? Sunset flip from Ziggler, and Cesaro stops him from getting out of the box, pummelling him and wrenching the head again.

Another sunset flip attempt from Ziggler, and this time Cesaro presses him and drops Ziggler right onto his knee. When we come back, Dolph’s trying to fight back, hitting a neckbreaker and a dropkick, but the moment is overshadowed by Sheamus suddenly exclaiming: ‘Tom, I forgot you were there for a second!’ See, this Sheamus is amazing; this Sheamus is just every Irish guy I’ve gotten drunk with. Is he drunk? Ziggler tries to splash Cesaro, but gets the fuck uppercutted out of him. Cesaro goes for a double-underhook, but teases a pedigree enough to make me believe he’ll be getting fired over the weekend; Ziggler counters into a facebuster for two, and then catches Cesaro in a sleeper. Cesaro breaks out of it in the corner, then catches Ziggler’s kick; big DDT from Ziggler! Both athletes regain their feet, only for Cesaro to clothesline Ziggler. He tries to finish it, but Ziggler rolls him up for the three!

Great match, and definitely an argument for this being the preferred coupling at Night of Champions. Just have the US Title match be Sheamus stomping on Miz’s face for ten minutes; it’d be worth it. 3.5 Stars.

Cesaro’s pissed, and thinks a good way to deal with this emotion is to assault Ziggler, so does so. Sheamus comes in to back him off, and we’ve got a stare-down! Until Sheamus tosses Cesaro the belt and Brogue Kicks him.

Stardust is backstage, doing a Gollum impression. Goldust shows up to chill him out, and I think the villainous route was the best idea for this gimmick; Cody is just creepy as hell.

At Least Now I Can Tell The Usos Apart

Aw, Jay’s on a crutch, but still does the haka chant. That’s kind of really sad. Oh, and Jimmy’s going to be facing Heath Slater. That’s…even sadder. And I like to consider Jay’s injury a punishment for his and Jimmy’s constant involvement in the Cena-Wyatt feud.

Jimmy and Heath tie up, and Jimmy chops Slater in the corners. He ducks a clothesline, but Slater avoids a splash and hits a neckbreaker for two. Okay, the fact that Slater actually hit offence here makes this match more of a squash than Lesnar-Cena. John starts talking about cooking and euthanising bunnies, which warrants a rewind from me. Jimmy fights his way out of a sleeper, but gets dragged face-first into the corner. Slater gets kicked and eats a corkscrew moonsault for two. Titus gets on the apron, but Jay distracts him and Jimmy kicks him back to the outside. Kick from Heath to Jimmy, who manages to catch Slater coming off the top with a superkick, and then hits the Samoan Splash for three.

None too bad. Slater’s ridiculous arching of his body and fall-delay in taking that kick was the highlight of the match. 2.5 Stars.

We head back to Monday night, where it turns out that Stephanie’s way of showing she likes you is putting you in a match with someone who could destroy you. No, not Jack Swagger. Yep, it’s Nikki vs. Paige, and it’s time to find out whether Paige’s lesbian shtick extends to people who aren’t AJ. Man, lesbians and twins: they really are trying to sell the Network, aren’t they? Oh, and let me just say, I’m with Nikki here. Yeah, sure, I thought she was kind of an asshole at first, but then my little sister came home at 3:30am, having neglected to take her front door keys, and woke me up to let her in the house. And now my sister could be in a match against the Miz, and Sheamus, and John Cena, and Michael Cole, and I’d still interfere just to make sure she lost. So…yeah, if even a little bit of what Nikki says is true: fuck Brie.

We see Steph sitting alone in an empty conference room which, as it turns out, is actually the full complement of the WWE Creative team. She says that Night of Champions will have a match where Paige will defend her belt against Nikki and AJ. Oh, because having Natalya in that match, and therefore three women who could wrestle well, was just an insane line of thought.

Not-Renee is backstage with Not-Natalya. Wow, she is as wooden as a desk of purest mahogany. Yeah, fine, fuck Nikki, and I’ll forgive my sister as well. God, WWE, way to be my conscience.

Rusev and Lana are in the ring to address Mark Henry. Lana actually provides the correct definition for ‘oxymoron’ and then furthers that with a joke about China’s economic and manufactural presence on the world stage. Oh my God, I actually laughed at that one. They SUMMON THE FLAG (totally how I’m writing that from now on), and here’s Mark Henry. His first line is telling Lana she talks too much, which gets a cheer. I won’t make a joke about a black man in Nebraska using sexism to get the crowd on his side but…oh, wait. If I ever get these stereotypes wrong, by the way, do let me know. He also then says that Lana looks like an escort, and that’s kind of a dick move, Mark. I’m on Lana’s side now, so also Rusev’s by association. She says that Rusev will beat America’s former Olympian, and please let this mean that Angle’s coming back for one more match in a ridiculous swerve.

I Like To Think That Was Brie Warging Into AJ

Oh God, Jerry Springer’s going to be on RAW and he’ll be talking to the Bellas. Well, that’s probably half an hour worth of crap I’ll be skipping on Tuesday. Nikki and AJ are on commentary, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to have Nikki placed beside someone who can, you know, actually display emotion. Oh, and Brie won better entrance music than Nikki in the split. Well, it’s better than what happened to Rollins and Ambrose. Brie will be facing Paige, and that’s good entrance music. Seth should steal it. AJ apparently could not give less of a shit about any of this, which is the best role for her.

Bell rings and Paige trash-talks Brie, but with her accent it sounds really polite and Brie comes off as rude for not thanking her. Brie punches Paige, who knees her in the stomach, but Brie takes her over and they brawl. Paige is thrown across the ring by Brie, and they brawl outside the ring: wild. Brie takes a spill and takes a while to get back inside, and Paige wails on her inside. Headbutts to Brie, as AJ refers to the Diva’s Championship as both her ex-boyfriend and her baby within moments of each other. Ew. Big clothesline to Paige, then a dropkick. Holy hell, Brie’s getting YES chants. That’s actually kind of sweet. Running knees to Paige, and AJ moves to confront Nikki for no reason as Brie hits a missile dropkick. Nikki shoves AJ, so AJ just jumps her: hell yeah. Brie then defends her sister, and I’ll rant about that in a second…yep, Rampaige ends it.

Well, AJ assaulting Nikki to underline the ‘we don’t want you here’ message of anyone interested in good quality Divas matches was a plus. The rest…whatever, I guess. Oh, and Brie? The woman wished that you died in the womb. If someone attacks her, particularly someone capable of kicking her ass, let her do it. Don’t lose a match over the Divas Champion to save her. 2 Stars.

Braymakes some lyrical threats about Chris Jericho in advance of their steel cage match.

Hey, Zack Ryder’s On…Yep

Bo Dallas will be facing Zack Ryder, and there’s a guy who needs to Bo-lieve if ever there was one. And also needs to make his lips less freakishly pink against that tan of his: Christ. Big dropkick to Dallas, who throws it off straight away and back suplexes him. Face-first slam by Ryder, but Bo slams him back against the mat, hits the Bo Dog and it’s over.

Yep. 2 Stars.

Bo takes the mic and mocks Nebraska. Straight up heelin’. But here’s Jack Swagger, here to beat on that ridiculously cheerful guy. Wow, Bo actually stands his ground and takes it to Swagger for a moment, but Jack slams him before hitting more punches. Patriot Lock is almost applied before Bo gets booted out of the ring. Zeb gets on the mic and does his xenophobe oath.

Replay of Ambrose getting cinderblocked. Cue some random comment I made and inadvisable encouragement I received from CB, I’m now writing a short screenplay about Ambrose going missing after his hospitalisation, with both Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns tracking him down. I’ve no idea why I’m doing this, but I have to do something when I get drunk.

Epic-Length Tag Team Time

The ten participants make their entrances mainly during the break. And as much as I’d switch a couple of these guys out to make a real dream match, I’m happy about this. Big Show starts off against Rollins as Jericho gets chants. Show makes quick early work of Rollins in the corner and tags in Henry. Rollins is straight-up squashed in the face corner, and tastes the JYD tribute. Tag back to Big Show, and I’ve just realised that these two have colour coordinated. Seth finally slides out of a gorilla press and tags in Bray, who runs into a…I don’t even know what that was. Bray seems elated, and gets thrown into his corner before Rowan gets the tag. He actually takes it to Big Show before Show does the sunset flip and a flying shoulder-block. What has Big Show been drinking? Did Sheamus get him drunk? Tag back to Henry, and if these guys just let these two handle it, I’d get bored but acknowledge the logic. And as I type ‘logic’, they tag in Jericho. But then we go to break, so hey.

We come back, and Kane takes Big Show out at the knee before tagging in Bray for the stomps. Tag to Harper, who locks on a headlock to the downed giant. As Show struggles to his feet, Harper levels him with a dropkick and tags in Rollins. Interesting that Big Show is the face in peril here. Kane in now, dropping feet and knees to Big Show. Bray in now, and when Big Show tries to fight back he simply DDTs the big man. Harper comes in with a Gator Roll, and the frequent tags are keeping it all fresh. Big Show finally powers up, back suplexing Harper to the mat for our first hope spot. Harper’s too close to the heels…or is he? Here comes Reigns, working out his psychological and emotional issues by destroying everyone, ESPECIALLY ROLLINS. Harper stops Reigns from acquiring himself a Seth-skin rug, hurling him into the barricade as we go to break.

We come back, and Rowan is fisting Reigns (oh, grow up). Reigns gets tossed out of thering where Seth can do his jackal act. He yells ‘I created you’, and I just imagined him as Doctor Frank-N-Furter and it is sexy as hell. Reigns eats a big kick to the temple on the inside from Rollins. Harper comes in, and Reigns blocks his suplex into one of his own, but Harper lies between him and any chances to tag out…and a big boot ends any outside opportunity. Kane comes in now, setting up for a superplex. Reigns fights back, saving Kane from having to try a superplex, and takes him out from the second rope. Everyone wants in, but it’s Jericho, taking it to Kane. Kane tosses him over the ropes; Jericho goes up top and hits a flying fist, then a bulldog, and then the Lionsault! Kane gets right back up, almost chokeslams Chris, who gets his step-up enzuigiri and goes for the Walls! Wyatt tries to get involved, distracting Jericho enough to get clotheslined by Kane. Harper tagged in as we go to break.

When we come back, Rollins is in full control of Jericho, beating him down right in front of the faces. There’s actually a moment when Jericho could have reached over and tagged out as Seth postured, and that would have been hysterical if he’d just done it. And does Seth Rollins remind anyone of Ryan Howard from The Office, or is that really just me? Even I don’t know why I think it. Seth gets elevated the hell over the top rope, but still manages to grab Chris and tag in Bray. Wyatt takes it to Jericho before slapping on a sleeper hold. Jericho struggles, but Bray works him back down, looking childishly happy whilst doing so.

Finally Chris does work his way out, but Wyatt cross-bodies him instantly to keep him back down. Bray spiderwalks as Chris lies prone, and that is when I don’t have a problem with it, i.e. when it’s not an invitation for someone to kick you really hard in the face. Dropkick to Wyatt and both men try to reach help; Rollins and Cena tag in! Cena’s on fire, beating Rollins every time he gets back up. AA attempted, but Kane comes up with an uppercut, only to get Superman Punched by Reigns, who gets superkicked by Harper, who’s taken out by Mark Henry, who gets Rowan-ed, who gets Big Show-ed. Bray comes in and cross-bodies Show! Jericho takes Wyatt down, but Seth springboards into hit him with the knee! Cena comes in and gets the STF on Seth, but the Wyatts break it up for the DQ.

That was really fun. As I’ve said, not dream-match, but considering this is SmackDown! I will take whatever I can get. 3.5 Stars.

Brawl continues with everyone hitting everyone. Codebreaker out of nowhere to Wyatt! Chokeslam and World’s Strongest Slam to the Wyatts! Spear to Kane and an AA to Seth Rollins! The faces go out standing tall.

This was just a great SmackDown! after a few weeks of just decent. Everything clicked really well and the match quality was above and beyond what I’d expect. I’m going to say screw everything: this week gets a ten.

David Spain’s WWE Sex Move of the Week: The Randy Orton. Step one: find their purse…
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Matches Announced for WWE Main Event, Smackdown Tapings http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/09/02/matches-announced-for-wwe-main-event-smackdown-tapings/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/09/02/matches-announced-for-wwe-main-event-smackdown-tapings/#comments Tue, 02 Sep 2014 05:06:27 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169679 WWE Main Event will feature a Miz TV segment on Tuesday night live on the WWE Network. His guest is scheduled to be Dolph Ziggler, to continue their feud and probably set up an Intercontinental Title match for Night of Champions.

In addition, WWE is planning to have a match between Paige and Brie Bella as a featured match during the Smackdown tapings. The match is purported to be non-title.

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Poll Results: What Do You Think About Smackdown Moving To Thursday? http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/09/02/poll-results-what-do-you-think-about-smackdown-moving-to-thursday/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/09/02/poll-results-what-do-you-think-about-smackdown-moving-to-thursday/#comments Tue, 02 Sep 2014 05:03:21 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169673 Here is what our Inside Pulse Wrestling readers thought:

What Do You Think About Smackdown Moving To Thursday?

  • It’s great, Smackdown belongs on Thursday! (35%, 55 Votes)
  • Who cares, I don’t watch Smackdown (28%, 44 Votes)
  • It’s terrible, I like it on Friday (18%, 29 Votes)
  • I think it will do the same on either day (19%, 29 Votes)

Total Voters: 157

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Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for August 29th 2014: Where’s OUR Legends Panel? http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/29/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-august-29th-2014-wheres-our-legends-panel/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/29/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-august-29th-2014-wheres-our-legends-panel/#comments Fri, 29 Aug 2014 23:37:28 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169623 Hey there, folks. This SmackDown Report coming at you a bare evening before I have to doll myself up and attend a wedding. After being given a long list of things I am not allowed to do (play Rains of Castamere) or say (incest jokes: my family’s a little weird), I’ve got a lot of barely-suppressed rage, so I’m going to open up and let fly at the first provocation. More than likely I’ll forget to do so, in which case I want all of you to go on Twitter and call Michael Cole a Nazi.

Our recap, delivered to us by our übermensch superiors over on RAW, deals with the eulogy for Dean Ambrose, and apparently nobody’s told Seth that Ambrose isn’t dead. Or what a bad eugoogalizer he is. Also, where the hell was Roman during all of the other stuff that was happening to Ambrose? Or just after the Shield break-up? He seemed to take it into his head that Orton was the mastermind behind that whole thing, and Randy’s last mastermind plot involved a woman’s purse. And after last week, don’t you think that someone might see Kane trying to sneak a metric fucktonne of cinderblocks out there this Monday and called him out on it? Seems like Kane’s kind of a bitch right now anyway; I’d even buy Heath Slater telling him to fuck off.

Has Anyone Asked Bray If He’s Okay?

Oh, hello ‘Tom’. Surprised me there for a moment, as I’d completely forgotten you existed. Roman Reigns shows up, here to face Bray Wyatt, who apparently hadn’t been screwed-via-contact-with-Cena enough for Vince’s liking according to Monday night. At what point can we just say that the old man’s had it and he can retire? He can go tend his orange garden until he has a heart attack; Shane can come back, take over the business and slap Diane Keaton around; Triple H can be garrotted when it becomes apparent he’s been working for Dixie Carter this whole time and beating Stephanie. There are worse ways this could go than a Godfather homage.

The big men lock up, and Bray leads with some punches until Roman overpowers him in the corner, only for Wyatt to sneak the advantage…and get clotheslined to the mat. Bray does manage to throw Roman through the ropes, where he faces down Harper and Rowan. Wyatt catches Reigns on the apron, blasting him all the way to the entrance ramp. Clothesline to Roman on the outside, and Bray works on him back in the ring. I like to imagine Bray is picturing Cena in front of him, and Roman’s wondering why Bray is legitimately strangling him. He struggles, managing to slam Bray’s head off the mat. High clothesline to Wyatt, who manages to hit Roman with a boot, only to run into a back elbow. Samoan drop’s attempted; Bray slides out and hurls his entire body into Reigns, hitting the back senton on his next run.

Wyatt heads up to the second rope, hesitating once he realises he has no business being up there, and Roman catches him, getting the tubby gent on his shoulders. Samoan drop gets two, and Roman stays right on Bray, knocking him into the ropes. He runs around the outside; Harper tries to cut him off, but Roman has a foot that needs to be urgently delivered to Bray’s face; he ducks Harper, hits the kick, and then starts wailing on Harper out of the need to keep hitting someone. Rowan shows up for the DQ, and referee calls for the bell like he doesn’t enjoy Roman beating the shit out of three dudes.

This was fair. Pretty short, and I’m honestly still irritated by the decision to serve up Bray as a sacrificial lamb to John ‘serious for about a month’ Cena, but it was okay. 2 Stars.

The assault on Reigns continues, somehow summoning The Tag Team Too Fat To Wear The Belts so they can rub themselves over this. Wow, I am really annoyed with everything tonight. Reigns hits a Superman Punch to Rowan as I start hitting the wine. Henry and Show help to clear the ring, when one would think their combined mass would cause the Wyatts to orbit them.

Oh, What, Rob? Was There A Drugs Test Coming Up?

Here’s Rob Van Dam, and apparently this is his peace-out match. If so, I’m glad he got to go against Rollins: it’s the best chance he has of going out on a…high. And can we have a kickstarter to fund some decent ring music for Seth Rollins? He deserves better; it’s like Brock having to have the Network logo on his belt.

Seth immediately goes on offence, stomping Rob in the corner. Irish whip to another corner; Van Dam counters Rollins’ charge and hits a kick. Rob rolls over Seth’s back, takes some kicks and gets running-dropkicked into the ropes. Bodyslam to RVD for a two. Back from a quick break, Rollins hits that leaping forearm of his into Rob in the corner, then steals RVD’s taunt. If he was on SmackDown vs RAW, his heat-meter would fill right up. Michael says that Rollins has ‘some audacity’, which I wasn’t aware was a negative thing; ‘audacious’ is how they describe interesting people in Victorian novels. Right before they catch fire…

Sleeper by the now-more-flammable Seth Rollins, and RVD tries to create separation, kicking Rollins away to avoid being caught in the blaze. Rolling Thunder misses, as does the Curb Stomp, and Seth gets blasted with a kick. Frogsplash attempted; it misses; the Curb Stomp’s countered again, but Rollins hits his enzuigiri for two. Seth heads up, but Van Dam brings him up short with a kick. Superplex attempted; Rollins claws at Rob’s face, rolls over Van Dam and powerbombs him into the turnbuckle. Another turnbuckle powerbomb, followed up by the Curb Stomp for the win.

That was a pretty good match. Rollins was a good opponent for Van Dam, but it still wasn’t enough to convince me that Rob ought to stick around as a competitor. I loved Rob when I first encountered him in 2002, and still love those matches now, but I do hope this absence sticks. 2.5 Stars.

We replay the Bella Twins’ ‘Look How Fucking Bad We Are At Acting’ session, and the sad thing is that this won’t be enough to stop WWE trying to shoehorn them into a movie. Nikki’s ‘died in the womb’ line did make me crack up (which they cut out of SmackDown, maybe after realising that it wasn’t the kind of sentiment they should be voiced on a kids’ show). The only appeal for me is that I view this feud as the live-action adaptation of Adventure Time’s Lemongrab vs. Lemongrab storyline; I just hope that it ends in the exact same way. Also props to Nikki for showing women everywhere how to react to Jerry Lawler approaching them.

We replay the Sandow vs. Ziggler match, because even though RAW’s so starved of material it actually contains flashbacks of the previous hour, we apparently still need to see it. Actually, Sandow being Miz’s stunt double was a fairly decent gag, so there is that.

So Much For That Whole #Emmalution Thing, Huh

Emma’s in the ring, and apparently still employed. On the plus side, not a Santino in sight. And she’ll be facing one of the…what, three insane women WWE’s currently claiming to employ? And that’s just storyline-crazy, not ‘why would you slap the physical therapist’ crazy. I’ll never claim to be a social justice warrior, but the writer, comedian and human being in me is a little perturbed by a bi-weekly segment in which three men (or two men and ‘Tom’) sit around and discuss the mental inadequacies of the women around them.

Emma tries her dumb schtick, and Paige shoves her down: good on her. Emma almost gets Paige with a roll-up, but the champ takes control. Paige runs into a boot, but catches Emma, only for Emma to flip her feet into Paige’s face. She heads up top, but gets pulled down and placed into the PTO.

Decisive victory for our women’s champ, which is refreshing to see. I mean, it was against Emma, but you still worry. 2 Stars.

AJ is brought out, and she comes bearing chocolate. Please say this is building up to her hiring Brother Love to sing at Paige. Okay, AJ used the word ‘friend’, so we’re staying out of the ‘weaponised lesbianism’ thing. I expect to be proved wrong in that, but I just want to believe in WWE for a moment. Paige balks at the chocolates, probably because she believes Roman Reigns has been within poisoning distance. AJ growls at Paige ‘eat one’, and apparently the Divas Champion in wrestling is so afraid of conflict that she’ll eat a totally-suspect chocolate. It seems like there’s something wrong with the chocolate, and Paige spits it out. Damn it, Roman.

Self-fellating Network discussion. Get used to it, ‘Tom’. You learn these words.

Surely Swagger Is More Suicidal Than John Cena

Rusev’s in the ring, with Lana giving another public reading of her Putin fanfiction. Before she gets the bit where he nails a feral bear which growls ‘no’ as its eyes whisper ‘yes’, Swagger shows up to once again embarrass America. Michael says he respects Jack Swagger for losing a bunch of times but not in a certain way. This is a submission match, apparently, which actually does make sense and conforms to logic and how is that happening in WWE?

Swags goes for the leg, but Rusev backs him away with a kick to the ribs. Rusev, Swagger and Ambrose are clearly in a ‘sell injuries’ competition, and I’m really hoping this leads to the three of them evading the medical profession somehow, with Kane becoming Doctor Isaac Yankem to hunt them down. Jack goes for the ankle again, prompting retreat from Rusev.

Jack ‘We The People’s Rusev, who charges; Swagger ducks, and then slams Rusev right into the mat. Rusev tries to bail, but Swagger gets him in the Patriot Lock under the ropes. The ref starts to count, meaning it’s possible to lose a submission match by DQ. Okay, then. Rusev goes to the outside, and when Swagger goes after him the big Bulgarian hurls him Rusvinto the barricades.

Back from the break, Jack gets flapjacked by Rusev and slammed out of the ring. He’s against the steel ring post, and Rusev beats on his ribs. Rusev goes for a kick, but gets caught in a Patriot Lock on the outside; Rusev scrambles back in the ring, and Jack follows to clothesline him. Swagger wraps Rusev’s ankle in the ropes to kick it around, and then drops him with the big boot. Swagger Bomb to Rusev, who bulls right back, and goes for…the Patriot Lock? Swagger reverses instantly and Michael really hates Rusev, doesn’t he? Rusev gets to the ropes, and then breaks the hold when Jack drags him away. Swagger misses a charge, gets kicked in the face and then Rusev applies the Accolade. After a pretty heroic struggle, Jack manages to reach the ropes. Rusev drags Swagger back, stomping on his back before applying the Accolade. Another herculean effort gets Jack nearly to his feet, but Lana distracts the ref by throwing in the towel. Out of nowhere, Bo Dallas trips up Jack! Oh Bo, you adorable dick. Jack taps, and Bo Dallas is clearly a part of Isis.

Okay, I actually liked that. It all kind of made sense; Jack looked pretty gutsy and it just generally worked. Plus…fucking Bo, man. Don’t ask me not to love him. 3 Stars.

Bo grabs the mic, and if he starts speaking Russian I swear to God…but no, he just wants Swagger to Bolieve. Jack disagrees, seeming to want to rip Bo’s nuts off, but Dallas takes him down and Bo Dogs him.

Miz is backstage, being all Miz about stuff. Oh God, does he have another one of those ridiculous coats? Someone’s trying to tap his shoulder, and it’s Kane. He talks to the Miz’s agent who, if he’s the Miz’s agent, was probably gushing, ‘Oh my glob, you’re the guy from See No Evil! Do you have representation?’ Kane’s kind of a snarky bitch when he’s not trying to kill a man with cinderblocks. Oh, and Miz is in a match with Sheamus, in an attempt to ruin my whole life.

This Is Like If The Warriors Was Really Campy. This Is Like West Side Story.

Here are the Usos, with one of their four identical knees injured. Recap of Goldust and Stardust becoming Dickdusts. Stardust will be facing Jimmy Uso, but first Goldust grabs the mic and apologises, acting like a real human. He apologises fairly decently about it, and Michael compliments him for it, so FUCK GOLDUST.

Jimmy backs Stardust into the corner, with a clean break. Repeat, with Jimmy adding some blows. Chops to Stardust, who manages the Rhodes Uppercut. Shoulder thrusts to Jimmy in the corner, who manages to roll up Stardust for the three!

Wasn’t expecting such a quick match. Then again, wasn’t looking forward to a long one, so hey. 1.5 Stars.

Goldust jumps Jimmy, and these Dusts are dicking all up in this place. Michael instantly turns on Goldust, and I actually called this, like, two paragraphs ago.

Wine Just Is Not Going To Do It

Oh God, it’s the Miz. Even Sandow being there can’t deflect this horrifying mediocrity. And oh God, it’s Sheamus. This doesn’t help. Apparently Damien Sandow will be reprising his role as a way worse wrestler, entertainer and human being than himself. Whose coffee did that man piss into?

Miz tries to distract Sheamus, and does, and Sandow goes on the attack. Miz gets on commentary and whose coffee did I piss into? Back elbow drops Sheamus, and Sandow stomps him in the corner. Sheamus steamrolls Sandow, then bodyslams him. Clubbing blows to the chest, followed by White Noise for the win.

Quick, to the point, minimal Miz. Marks taken off for Sheamus and there still being some Miz. 1.5 Stars.

Miz jumps Sheamus post-match and flees. Ziggler appears to throw Miz back into the ring; Miz ducks so that Sandow can take the Brogue Kick, and Miz flees again. I guess I do want to see Miz get hit in the face, so fair enough, WWE, but I’ve never not wanted that.

Recap of the extended mauling of John Cena. I really want to see only one clip now, and that’s of Brock ringing Cena up and saying ‘so, John, I was at the clinic and I got some surprising news…look, it’s not a hundred percent certain, but you might want to get yourself checked considering…you know…SummerSlam,’ as both he and Heyman keep giggling. God, I want to see that.

Just Not The Wyatts’ Week

It’s main event time, and here are those two big lumbering guys and the actual exciting one. The Wyatts show up as well, and we have a stare-down across the ring. They’re trying to evoke the Wyatts vs. the Shield, but the thing is that Henry and Show are involved in this one.

Big Show goes for Rowan and the brawl starts. Wyatt gets tossed out and Roman stalks him around as Big Show does an honest to God sunset flip on Rowan. Shit, I don’t care what else happens: they get a whole star for that alone. Clothesline to Rowan, and Big Show works the arm, tagging in Roman. Still working the arm over, for some reason or other, and tag to Mark Henry, for some reason or other. Mark tags Big Show back in, and he slings Erick a headbutt and goes to slap the chest, but Rowan escapes and tags in Harper, who runs right into a hip toss. Big slap to Harper in the corner, and again.

Snapmare to Harper, then a dropkick to the face for two. Tag to Henry, who hits the JYD Tribute and pancakes the shit out of Harper in the corner; Rowan runs interference and Harper hits a dropkick before tagging in Bray Wyatt. We get a reminder not to try getting destroyed by Brock Lesnar at home, and when we come back, Rowan is trying to suplex Henry but gets suplexed in return. Tag to Big Show, who knocks Rowan all around the ring. He calls for the chokeslam, but has to take down Bray and Rowan clobbers him with a clothesline. Harper’s tagged in, and keeps Big Show grounded, hitting boots and putting on a facelock. Gator roll of Big Show, turning it into a headlock in the transition. Big Show manages to regain his feet, running right into a calf kick off the ropes.

Bray Wyatt gets tagged in, and he hits a DDT to Big Show for two. Rowan comes in, taking Show down with some punches and hitting the splash. Big Show is kept down as Harper wrenches his neck, and then drives Show into the corner as he gains his feet. Show manages to boot Rowan, but takes an elbow immediately in retaliation. Tag to Harper, who wrenches Show’s head back on the ropes. He holds Big Show in a sleeper, and Big Show grabs the ropes, but no count from the ref. Okay, then. Sidewalk slam destroys Harper, but Bray gets the tag and pulls Big Show away, hitting offence hard and fast until he gets flattened by a desperation clothesline and Reigns gets the tag.

Roman proceeds to annihilate Harper and Rowan in hellaciously short order, practically backhanding Bray in order to hit his apron dropkick. He winds up the Superman Punch; Bray distracts him and gets hit in the face again. Superman Punch connects to Harper; Rowan gets chokeslammed; Big Show gets hit by the flying mass of Bray Wyatt; Wyatt gets World’s Strongest Slammed; Henry gets booted; Reigns gets superkicked for two! That Clothesline attempted, and a spear for the win!

Okay, better than I thought it would be. I know I said I would add a star on, and I will, but that was good in its own right. So, with the sunset flip star, that’s…3.5 Stars. Yep, for a match with Show and Henry in. Collect torches and pitchforks at your leisure.

Up and down kind of SmackDown. Match quality was better than what I expected to see, and they managed to reduce Miz’s involvement more than I dared to dream. Seven for this week.

David Spain’s WWE Sex Move of the Week: The Brock Lesnar. Don’t feel afraid to include such diverse elements as blood, urine and vomit; they’ll come back for a second round, guaranteed.
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More Details On WWE Smackdown Move To Thursdays, Effect On Wrestling Industry http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/28/more-details-on-wwe-smackdown-move-to-thursdays-effect-on-wrestling-industry/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/28/more-details-on-wwe-smackdown-move-to-thursdays-effect-on-wrestling-industry/#comments Thu, 28 Aug 2014 19:56:59 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169577 More on the Smackdown return to Thursday.

WWE Smackdown is moving back to Thursdays starting October 2, 2014, finishing up a run on Fridays through the end of September.

While the move has not been officially announced, it was listed on the Syfy schedule, and Syfy had already announced the TV show “Haven” was moving from Friday to Thursday night at 10 p.m. Haven features Adam “Edge” Copeland in a recurring role, so Syfy has often linked Haven and Smackdown in their schedule.

Smackdown originated on Thursdays. When the show debuted on the now-defunct UPN network, it aired on Thursdays, only later moving to Friday in the face of stiff prime time competition. It had a pilot run on April 29, 1999, and was added fulltime to the primetime lineup that fall, starting August 26, 1999.

The move from Friday to Thursday had reverberations throughout the industry. Impact, which has been troubled as of late on Spike TV, fled Thursdays in anticipation, hastily shifting to Wednesday night to avoid competition.

In addition, WWE NXT and Superstars, which air on WWE Network each week beginning on Thursdays, will also likely move, perhaps to Wednesdays or Fridays on the WWE Network.

The Inside Pulse Wrestling Poll of the Week is about the Smackdown move, vote below!
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WWE Ratings News: Monday Night Raw Down, Friday Night Smackdown Down http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/26/wwe-ratings-news-monday-night-raw-down-friday-night-smackdown-down/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/26/wwe-ratings-news-monday-night-raw-down-friday-night-smackdown-down/#comments Tue, 26 Aug 2014 21:28:59 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169528 WWE Monday Night Raw viewership numbers are in, and the show did fewer viewers than the week before. Despite there being no Monday Night NFL pre-season game this week (as there was last week on ESPN), the Emmy Awards on NBC were huge competition.

Raw drew 3.97 million viewers averaged over the course of three hours, but The Emmys did 15.6 million viewers. Raw was second to VH-1′s Love and Hip Hop on cable for the night.

8 p.m. 3.86 million

9 p.m. 4.06 million

10 p.m. 4.01 million

This will will likely be a rating in the 2.8 range.

Friday Night Smackdown ended up with a 1.79 rating, slightly down from the previous week’s 1.88 rating. The show averaged 2.461 million viewers across the two hours, also down from the previous week’s viewership of 2.564 viewers.

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WWE Notes: WWE Raw Segment Next Week, Smackdown Main Event Announced http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/26/wwe-notes-wwe-raw-segment-next-week-smackdown-main-event-announced/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/26/wwe-notes-wwe-raw-segment-next-week-smackdown-main-event-announced/#comments Tue, 26 Aug 2014 16:13:38 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169521 This week’s Friday Night Smackdown will feature a tag match pitting Big Show & Mark Henry against the Wyatts – Luke Harper & Erick Rowan. Also on that taping will be RVD vs Seth Rollins, in what will be RVD’s final appearance with WWE for a while.

Next week’s Monday Night Raw will feature a Highlight Reel segment where Chris Jericho will interview Randy Orton, who has not appeared on WWE TV WWE Monday Night Raw since his lost to Roman Reigns at Summerslam.

WWE heavily promoted new items for the WWE Network on Raw. They promoted 100 hours of WCW Monday Nitro added to the Network, as well as new episodes of Monday Night War.

Interestingly, WWE showed a promo for “Jeff Hardy: My Life, My Rules” to premiere at 8pm Wednesday on the network. It is not new content, as it is the documentary portion of the 2009 Hardy DVD release. However, it is a bit notable because the Hardys are in TNA, although Jeff is a prime candidate to return to WWE should TNA not make it in 2015.

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New Poll: What Do You Think About Smackdown Moving To Thursday? http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/25/new-poll-what-do-you-think-about-smackdown-moving-to-thursday/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/25/new-poll-what-do-you-think-about-smackdown-moving-to-thursday/#comments Mon, 25 Aug 2014 10:34:12 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169411 With the news that Smackdown is moving to Thursdays in October, what do you think it means for WWE’s #2 show?

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.
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WWE SmackDown Moving to Thursday Nights Beginning October 2nd http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/24/wwe-smackdown-moving-to-thursday-nights-beginning-october-2nd/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/24/wwe-smackdown-moving-to-thursday-nights-beginning-october-2nd/#comments Sun, 24 Aug 2014 19:19:56 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169397 Syfy has released it’s upcoming fall schedule for 2014 and although WWE has not yet confirmed this, SmackDown will be moving to Thursday nights beginning October 2nd.

SmackDown will still be pretaped on Tuesday nights and will not air live.
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Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for August 22nd 2014: (Insert Lemongrab Scream, For No Real Reason) http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/23/169367/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/23/169367/#comments Sat, 23 Aug 2014 17:30:03 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169367 Hey there, lads and lasses. Your beleaguered SmackDown reviewer is here, exhausted after a frickin’ hilarious afternoon/evening/night (it really depended on the time zone) with Jonah Kue and BD, recording the latest in that excellent audio series: Trashy Ring Attire. Pray download it once available, and listen to us muse eloquently about SummerSlam and whether or not Stephanie McMahon is sexy.

With that being said, it’s a new dawn and we have a feral, drooling manbeast as our champion (with the skinniest, whitest, girliest calves I have ever seen). Oh, and by the way, allow me to feel savagely pleased at the fact that now RAW will rarely see its world champion either. You hear that, Czerwonka and Harrak? We’re all in the same boat now!

So, yeah, let’s get to the show.

We start off with the Viper, and even though he lost at SummerSlam, at least he didn’t end up looking like a character from a Lars Von Trier movie (do not watch Lars Von Trier movies). We see Michael Cole sitting by himself and I’m about to commit seppuku when he reveals that JBL is still there and so is some chap called ‘Tom Philips’. Well, unless he’s a cleverly disguised Jerry Lawler, he’s got to be better at commentary than Jerry Lawler, but I still demand to know why Renee Young’s probably-shapely hindquarters aren’t gracing that seat. Still, let’s see what ‘Tom’ can do and, more importantly, what nickname I can come up with for him.

Three seconds in, ‘Tom’ is a better commentator than Mike Adamle and Jerry Lawler combined. Orton says that one match does not define him, although it does define every other match he’s had. Orton says he’s never been called a loser, so clearly he’s never been on…the internet. He shows us his assault on Reigns from last month, and says that’s what happens when he’s focused, which makes you wonder why Randy is so unfocused 99% of the time. Orton has a match with Rob Van Dam; talk about unfocused. He says he will simply take our respect from us, which sounds like a vague rape threat.

I Learned That Rollins Is Latin American Last Night, Which Means That This Makes Sense

Rollins’ music plays, and he comes out with his bullshit bullion briefcase and his Batman-themed BDSM suit. He shakes hands with a retreating Orton, because he probably didn’t want to get respect-mugged. ‘Tom’ sure seems to be on top of things so far. Michael says that John Cena has demanded a rematch with Brock Lesnar at Night of Champions, which is like a crippled Bruce Wayne wheeling himself up to Bane and saying ‘bet you can’t do that again, fucker’. Having said that, I look forward to the spectacle of Brock ripping off Cena’s head and quoting Hamlet. Or any Shakespeare, actually.

Rollins will be facing Jack Swagger and, honestly, fuck Jack Swagger. Fuck his xenophobia, fuck his escort of soldiers who couldn’t do a rifle drill if their nation depended upon them and fuck anyone who expects me to view him as a face. We get a look back at Rollins injuring Ambrose, and God I hope we’re in for some historical recreation tonight. Apparently Ambrose escaped medical personnel and is currently ‘at large’, which is the greatest reason for an absence since people were getting dragged into parking lots by the Wyatts.

Here’s Swagger, and JBL despises him almost as much as I do. Bell rings and Seth gets taken over twice by Simple Jack. Seems like Rollins asked for the match and told Swagger ‘you failed your country’. Good for you, Seth. Rollins gets backed into the corner, but hits a shot to the ribs, hitting a front dropkick. Knees get dropped to the ribs, and Seth wraps his legs around Swagger’s midsection. Jack backs Seth into the turnbuckles to break the hold, but Rollins takes him right back down, hitting a forearm, but gets caught coming off the second rope and belly-to-belly slammed. Swagger tries to lunge at Seth, but gets caught on the apron with a kick as we got to break.

We come back to the action as Seth has his legs once again wrapped around Jack’s midsection, but Swagger gains a reprieve via a German Suplex to Rollins. Seth misses a stinger splash, getting tossed and knocked around the ring by Jack. Swagger Bomb connects, causing Jack grief to the ribs. ‘Tom’’s whole role appears to be actually calling the action: God, that’s new. Seth hits a kick to the ribs, gets tossed onto the apron and hits a kick to the head. Seth comes off the top rope, but lands right into the Patriot Lock. He rolls out, misses the Curb Stomp and Jack drives both men out to the floor. Seth comes back into the ring, tries a baseball slide but gets caught in the Patriot Lock on the outside. Swagger tries to clothesline Rollins, but runs into the steel post and get caught on the outside. Ref’s counting, and Jack hustles back into the ring…and immediately gets Curb Stomped. He falls to the outside and gets counted out.

Well, I can totally get behind Swagger getting hurt. And the match itself was okay too. 2.5 Stars.

Hah, here comes Bo Dallas, playing the part of salt in Swagger’s wounds. Oh, and careful, ‘Tom’; you stay out of the morality conversation, now. Bo calls Jack Swagger ‘an American zero’, and damn it, he’s right. He calls himself America’s new sweetheart, and tells us to Bolieve. I love the fact that ‘Bolieve’ is now a word in my Microsoft Word Dictionary.

We look back at the Bellas apparently having their first fight ever and Nikki’s just godawful acting. She’s so wooden, the only role she could play is a mahogany desk I’ll tell ya what! Can’t blame Nikki for being in a bad place, really; her boyfriend did get completely emasculated on Sunday.

Here’s Miz backstage with Kane, and they just force the skinny pumpkin spice latte jokes, don’t they? This is weird, because Kane has more right to be called a movie star than the guy who’s doing the movie star gimmick, mainly because his movie wasn’t called See No Evil 4. Miz is in a match with Reigns, and is Kane’s alignment ‘be a dick to the closest person to me’ at the minute? Not that I mind; I’d just like to know.

Still Less Of A Squash Than Lesnar vs. Cena.

Here’s Lana and Rusev, and Rusev is facing Sin Cara. Rusev beats the unholy fuck out of Sin Cara, so they can bring out the latest black guy that Rusev’s feuding with. I actually wrote that sentence out during Rusev’s entrance, and that exact thing ended up happening. Sin Cara did have some good-looking movement in the ring.

2 Stars (I’m a sucker for a squash).

Post-match, Henry did come out and Rusev ran off. Henry yells ‘I don’t speak Russian!’, like a lack of linguistic knowledge is a point of pride.

Renee Young, looking incredible this week, is backstage with Rob Van Dam. She asks how he feels about Orton; Rob says Randy needs to chill out. Oh boy, Rob’s going to try and deal to Orton in the ring, isn’t he? Orton attacks Van Dam out of nowhere, prompting Renee to shoot a ‘fuck’s sake’ look at the camera. Randy tells her to tell Rob he’ll be waiting for him in the ring.

Renee Should Have Come Out To Fight For Rob

Orton’s in the ring, awaiting Rob Van Dam, who sprints out at him. Wow, he actually is almost displaying emotion. Orton is chased out, but comes back in the ring, taking Van Dam down in the corner and stomping him. Van Dam dodges a charge and rocks Orton with a collection of kicks. This is the first time I’ve ever seen Rob fired up, seriously. He somersaults over the top rope, taking Orton down on the outside, and then drops him on the barricade and tries to hit his spin kick, but Randy dodges. One guy in the crowd yells ‘what did you think was going to happen?!’ Fair play, man. Orton flings Rob into the barricades and slams him off the announce tables and throws him into the steps. Bell rings for a DQ as Orton back suplexes Van Dam onto the table.

Meh, 2 Stars for the violence and for Van Dam not acting stoically stoned in terms of emotion.

Vintage DDT onto the outside, and Orton is handily beating the shit out of RVD here. Back in the ring, Randy grabs a chair and RKOs Rob onto it. Orton then tells the announce team to tell Roman he’ll see him out here later. Why does Randy assume that everyone can be bothered to deliver his messages?

Renee Young’s backstage, and here’s Roman Reigns. She asks him about Orton’s threat, and Roman acts pissed about what the Authority did to Ambrose, despite the fact he did jack and shit to stop them. Sounds like some motherfuckers are going to get their drinks poisoned.

You Know, Paige, They’ll Probably Make AJ Give You The Belt Back Anyway

Natalya’s in the ring, and God, the German announce team are terrifyingly enthusiastic. Must be Nattie’s blonde hair setting them off. But here comes Paige, fresh from her softcore lesbian advert for the WWE Network this Sunday. I can’t get over the fact that it looks like Paige is wrestling in her underwear, and I worry that someone’s going to walk in when I’m reviewing these matches.

Paige immediately socks Natalya in the face, stomping her in corner to follow it up. Nat slaps her in the face and hits some punches in return. Double-underhook suplex to Paige, followed up by a baseball slide. Paige is thrown into the ring, but ducks back out and kicks Nat in the chin when she follows. Natalya gets pulled into the steel ring post shoulder-first. Headbutts to Nat, and she hits a clubbing blow to the spine before hitting knees to Natalya on the apron. Paige vines her legs around Nat’s midsection, but then AJ’s music hits. Nat breaks the hold, but nearly gets pinned off a press from Paige. AJ runs off with the belt as Paige drops Nattie with a hard knee to the face. Paige pursues AJ, who gives the belt back, and Paige sprints back into the ring to break the count, immediately getting caught in a sharpshooter by Natalya, and she taps as AJ watches.

Okay, you all probably know by now I hate when wrestlers see someone walking off with their belt and don’t think ‘well, I figure management won’t let them leave the arena with it. And hey, I’m still the champion, right?’ But this was actually more entertaining than usual; maybe because AJ gave it right back. Plus, this seems to tease at Natalya making this a triple-threat, and that sounds pretty good to me. 2.5 Stars.

Cody Creeps Me Out More Than The Wyatts

The Dust Brothers show up, followed by the Wyatts. It seems like the Dusts might be getting a title shot, considering their win on Monday over the Usos, and that the Wyatts are somewhat preoccupied by Big Show and Mark Henry. Stardust is starting off against Harper, and away we go. Punches to Harper, then Stardust rolls out of a back suplex but gets worked over in the corner. He jumps over Harper in the corner and hits a shot to the side of the head, taking control. Harper takes it back with an elbow, tagging in Rowan. Rowan catches Stardust, but Goldust had the blind tag and takes it to Erick with some fists, but Rowan just straight overpowers him and beats him down.

JBL and Michael bully ‘Tom’, which from what I hear from shoot interviews means that JBL kind of likes him. I assume Michael’s just found some reason that ‘Tom’ is morally comparable to a Nazi paedophile. Rowan is still in control, until a Rhodes Uppercut takes him out, but even then Rowan just straight up Cor Vons (obscure reference) him into a commercial.

Back from the break, Harper’s in control of Goldust, tagging in Rowan, who hits a bodyslam and big leg drop. Goldust is kept down as Rowan works him over. Tag to Harper, who slams fists into Goldust in the corner. Gator Roll inflicts yet more punishment, but Goldust hits a boot, then the hurricanrana…and gets hit with a superkick and a Batista Bomb. Stardust breaks up the pin, and then low-bridges Rowan. Harper knocks Stardust off the apron; Goldust rolls Harper up and that’s three.

Decent match. I’m not sure how well the Dusts and the Usos will play off each other, although a Brothers vs. Brothers match is reason enough for it to happen. 2.5 Stars.

The Wyatts get pissy after the match, destroying the Dusts for daring to hand them another loss. Harper throws Cole’s chair at Stardust, because fuck your need to sit down, Michael. Clothesline and a splash does for Goldust. ‘Tom’ snarkily offers Michael his chair afterwards, which I appreciate. I’m surprised the German announce team didn’t claim the chair as lebensraum.

Breaking news from Triple H, that news being ‘we don’t have anyone we can seriously put in a match with Brock Lesnar other than John Cena’. We’re all aware that Triple H just condoned Cena’s televised euthanasia, right? We recap Lesnar’s belt presentation ceremony, and I have to feel bad for the guy; he destroys Cena handily and they give him a belt with the Network logo on it? He should have ripped Hunter’s face off and stitched it over that symbol. Cena will apparently be on RAW next week to address matters, and I hope beyond hope that he cries at some point during that.

Guess Which Wrestler Recently Held The Intercontinental Title

Main event time, and here comes Roman Reigns. With about six minutes left on the clock, I have an idea where this is going. I have no idea what that thing Miz is wearing is, but I’m sure it is not a real article of clothing. We see a replay of Roman punching Miz’s cheekbone into fragments and dust, which I think was the production team’s way of going ‘remember this, Miz? You big bitch.’ Orton immediately comes out, aware that Miz is not going to be a threat to Roman on his own.

Miz tries to jump Reigns, who beats him down until Miz runs off, but Roman cuts him off on the outside and clotheslines him. Back in the ring, Miz actually gets in some shots, but then immediately gets Samoan dropped. Orton tries to slither into the ring, but Reigns backs him down. Miz hits a big boot, throwing some hands to a prone Roman. He goes for the Skull-Crushing Finale, but eats a spear and gets pinned.

Not that much of anything there. 2 Stars.

Roman wants himself some of Orton, and Randy seems set to accommodate him, actually getting in the ring. Wait, are we sure that’s Orton? When did he grow a spine? The guys tee off, throwing hands before Reigns gets clotheslined outside the ring. Roman manages to smash him off the steps; Reigns gets hurled into the barricade but comes back to uppercut Orton. Randy grabs a chair and hammers Roman with it, throwing him back in the ring. RKO on the chair is attempted, but Reigns counters and gives Orton a taste of his own chair-medicine. Superman Punch effectively brings the argument to a close, with Roman Reigns standing tall.

Kind of a weird SmackDown: felt like a strange comedown from SummerSlam. Enjoyable, but just a little off in places. Maybe I’m not drunk enough; it’s conceivable. Seven.

David Spain’s WWE Sex Move of the Week: The ‘Bo Dallas’. After dissatisfactory intercourse with your partner, perform a victory lap around the bed.
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WWE Announcer Tom Phillips Added to Friday Night SmackDown Broadcast Team http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/23/wwe-announcer-tom-phillips-added-to-friday-night-smackdown-broadcast-team/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/23/wwe-announcer-tom-phillips-added-to-friday-night-smackdown-broadcast-team/#comments Sat, 23 Aug 2014 15:04:50 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169359 WWE announcer Tom Phillips has been added to the Friday Night SmackDown broadcast team. Phillips debuted last night and did the play-by-play alongside Michael Cole and JBL. Phillips and Renee Young also work the WWE Superstars broadcasts together, as well as NXT. He also does backstage interviews on Raw as well.

CB’s Slant: Tom Phillips was a welcome addition to the SmackDown broadcast and I thought he did a good job fitting in with JBL and Cole while contributing positively to the matches he called.

I can see he and Renee Young working SmackDown together one day, or having Renee added to the Raw broadcast team if a spot ever opens up.

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Non-Spoiler Match Listing For WWE Friday Night Smackdown 08.22.2014 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/22/non-spoiler-match-listing-for-wwe-friday-night-smackdown-08-22-2014/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/22/non-spoiler-match-listing-for-wwe-friday-night-smackdown-08-22-2014/#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2014 07:48:36 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169267 Here are the matches that were taped for Smackdown tonight. If you’d like to know who won the matches, check out the spoilers but if not, enjoy these matches!

Seth Rollins vs. Jack Swagger

Sin Cara vs. Rusev w/Lana

Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

WWE Diva’s Non-Title Match
Paige (c) vs. Natalya

Goldust and Stardust vs. Luke Harper and Erick Rowan

The Miz vs. Roman Reigns

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WWE Friday Night Smackdown Match Results 08.22.2014 (Spoilers) http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/22/wwe-friday-night-smackdown-match-results-08-22-2014-spoilers/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/22/wwe-friday-night-smackdown-match-results-08-22-2014-spoilers/#comments Fri, 22 Aug 2014 07:28:28 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169265 Notes from tonight’s show for Friday night:

Seth Rollins b Jack Swagger via count out. Rollins used the curb stomp off the apron. The medical staff came out to check on Swagger while Bo Dallas came out and was running down Swagger.

Rusev b Sin Cara in a quick squash. Mark Henry ran in after but Lana pulled Rusev away from the ring.

Rob Van Dam did an interview and was attacked by Randy Orton. Orton kept beating on Van Dam including an RKO on a chair. So they really never had their advertised main event.

Natalya b Paige again in a non-title match. A.J. Lee came out and grabbed the belt and took off with it. Paige ran out of the ring and got the belt back but Natalya put her in the sharpshooter for the submission.

Goldust & Stardust b Luke Harper & Erick Rowan when Goldust pinned Harper with a roll-up.

Roman Reigns b The Miz with the spear in a one minute main event. After the match, Reigns and Orton went at it for several minutes until the show ends. Reigns ended up hitting the Superman punch.

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Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for August 15th 2014: Wait, SummerSlam’s This Sunday? http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/15/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-august-15th-2014-wait-summerslams-this-sunday/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/15/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-august-15th-2014-wait-summerslams-this-sunday/#comments Fri, 15 Aug 2014 22:22:18 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169110 Well buonasera, folks. Yep, it’s me: your dear SmackDown reviewer, back in really grey-looking England after a lovely week of tanning, eating better Italian food than I can cook, and getting mistaken for a local lad. Big thank-you to the immensely talented RHETT DAVIS for writing last week’s review; I am extremely grateful for his time and wonderful writing.

Oh joy, it’s the Miz, and we’re still pretending that he has literally anything to do with Hollywood. Oh Christ, we’re doing Miz TV? Hadn’t we just brought back the Highlight Reel? What’s next: Peep ShowCarlito’s Cabana? Miz talks for a while, which is endlessly better than Miz wrestling, but still not great. He says he wants to mentor young talent, and introduces Roman Reigns. I’m actually surprised that Reigns showed up for this, especially as he probably doesn’t know who the Miz is.

Both men sit down in the chairs, meaning that this has stayed a talk show for way longer than any other WWE talk show segment in recent memory. We’re reminded that Miz’s Mom wants herself speared by a studly Samoan (the fanfic’s probably been written), and Miz asks Roman if he’s nervous, because if he loses he’ll forever be known as a guy who couldn’t get it done. Yeah, because we remember things in wrestling. Miz won’t let Roman talk, so Roman just decks him. Shit, that was actually an almost-watchable Miz segment. …I feel dirty.

Roman says that Orton’s known as the Viper, and he’s won a tonne of championships, which Roman respects. He says Orton will have to respect him when he wins at SummerSlam. They replay the punch a bunch of times, which I recommend watching.

He’s A Lumberjack And He’s Okay; He Sleeps All Night And He Swings All Day

Well, here’s Dean Ambrose, still eschewing the purchase of any actual ring attire. Clearly didn’t train at the same place I did, where they frowned on that kind of responsible financial behaviour. We look back at Seth Rollins getting jumped by Ambrose out of a present, like something out of How the Grinch Stole Christmas II: Surprise, Motherfucker. And his opponent is Cesaro; he’s apparently a lumberjack this Sunday which, Monty Python informs me, makes him a transvestite.

Headlock by Cesaro, and he knocks Ambrose down off the ropes, only for Dean to hit a knee and start throwing hands. Cesaro comes back with some hands and uppercuts, and is it just me or does this crowd sound like the arena FX from the video games? Stomps to Ambrose as JBL claims that all homeless people lick windows (they totes do). Ambrose comes back now, hitting a cross-body which Cesaro nearly turns into a bodyslam, only for Dean to slip out of and clothesline Cesaro out of the ring. Vaulting body press takes Cesaro down on the outside, and then it’s back in the ring for more frolicsome fists, but then Cesaro realises, ‘wait, that guy’s shoulder’s injured’. Dean’s thrown into the ring post, suplexed onto the outside and we go to break.

Back to the action, Cesaro’s firmly in control, hitting an uppercut to Dean in the corner. Ambrose fucking launches Cesaro over the top rope, and then missiles himself right out after him. Dean climbs up to the top rope, but Cesaro catches him with a fist. JBL implies that Triple H is Michael Cole’s sugar daddy and I had actually forgotten what this show was like. Ambrose bites Cesaro’s Swiss schnozz, then tornado DDT’s him hard enough that this future lumberjack will have the same cognitive ability as an actual lumberjack. Kickout at two, although I’m willing to believe that was due to air escaping Cesaro’s corpse. Double-underhook hold by Ambrose now, and Cesaro breaks out, hits a big boot, ducks Ambrose’s clothesline and hits one of his own. Ambrose kicks out at two; Cesaro holds up four fingers, which totally proves my lumberjack-related point. Ambrose tries a tornado DDT; Cesaro hits a beautiful counter into an uppercut. Michael tells JBL off for not being unbiased and REALLY, MICHAEL? Small package nearly gets the win, inverted Death Valley Driver from Cesaro gets two and Ambrose comes back with a big clothesline. Lunatic Fringe countered and Dirty Deeds comes out of nowhere.

Very good match; I was impressed with some of the counters shown. Wish I knew what the hell was going on with Cesaro, but this was great. 3 Stars.

Seth Rollins comes out, and I am so unfamiliar with these new entrance themes I honestly couldn’t tell for a moment. Seth says that this Sunday, they go one-on-one (to the power of lumberjack recurring). Rollins explains the rules of a Lumberjack Match, but at least he didn’t say $9.99. He says he’s the future, and that he’s better than bipolar cat-people with rabies (or something).

After the break, Miz is walking backstage with an ice-pack, which is some commendable continuity. Kane is apparently now wearing a suit again, or whatever. Miz grouses for a while, and demands that Roman be banned from Miz TV. But Kane makes a match for Miz vs Reigns. So…is he a good guy? Or a bad guy, because he just made a Miz match?

I Keep Forgetting Two Of These People Are Employed

It’s Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil, and Oh God why. Apparently they made Hogan’s birthday more ridiculous than it already was. Titus is facing Ziggler, who still appears to be the Most Distracted Man in Wrestling. Titus takes Ziggler down early, but gets low-bridged. Ziggler keeps ducking in and out of the ring, then dropkicks Titus, only to get powered into the corner and gets his head rocked off the canvas. Big-time backbreaker to Ziggler for a two. Clothesline to Dolph in the corner, but he runs into a pair of boots. Clothesline and a dropkick to Titus, then a stinger splash in the corner, but Titus hits a big boot for two. Another backbreaker attempt, but Dolph slips out for a Zig-Zag out of nowhere for the win.

This was okay; not like there was much doubt in the result, or at least you’d hope not. 2 Stars.

Hah, You Thought The Wyatts Were Going To Stay Relevant

Well, here’s Mark Henry, and I keep forgetting that he’s employed as well. I hope that this is going to be Luke Harper running through this guy, because otherwise I think we need to send Del Rio to WWE Headquarters for some more slap action. Lillian Garcia looks happy to see Henry, and she is the only, only one. And we get that odd, odd Wyatt Family music again, heralding the arrival of Crazy-Eyes Harper.

They tie up, and neither of them get the better of the exchange. They try it again, and we end up with Henry in the corner. Uppercuts to Henry, then a headlock, but Henry just pushes the scruffy bastard out of the ring. More blows to Henry when Harper comes back, but here’s Henry coming back, running into a knee from Harper, who levels him with a big boot. Stomps to Mark, keeping him on the ground. Big Show starts a ‘Henry’ chant, and don’t you even think about it, Show. Doesn’t seem to be helping, as Harper locks in a sleeper. Henry starts elbowing out, and hits a clothesline. World’s Strongest Slam attempt, and Rowan floors Henry with a big boot for the DQ.

Back from the break, apparently this is now a tag-team match, fuelling the conspiracy theory that they never fired Teddy Long. Big Show is dominating Harper, and hits a big chop to the chest, and another. Harper fights back with an uppercut, but runs into a chokeslam, escaping with a thrust to the throat. Big Show runs right over Harper in the corner and off the ropes. Show calls for the chokeslam and Harper skedaddles; Big Show pursues and Rowan flattens him with a clothesline. The ref yells at Rowan, and he seems dissonantly furious with the big man. Is this about something else? Does Erick Rowan represent the referee’s bearded, abusive mother? Harper bundles Show back into the ring, staying on him before tagging in Rowan. Erick chokes Big Show on the ropes, eliciting more psychological uncertainty in our poor referee. Harper slings Rowan into Big Show and then hits a superkick for the near-fall.

Sleeper hold applied to Big Show, who’s woozy as hell, but recovers, hitting a back suplex to Harper and tagging in Henry; Rowan comes in and gets knocked all around the ring. World’s Strongest Slam set up; Big Show knocks Harper out of the ring and clobbers Rowan before Henry Slams him.

Well, I’m not thrilled about the result, but the Wyatts looked impressive here: practically gutsy during some moments. And if Henry and Big Show have a title shot, I feel like the Usos might be able to make it almost watchable. 2.5 Stars.

More advertising for this throw-down between Brie and Steph that I couldn’t honestly care less about; that’s probably the most accurate way to describe that segment. We get the ‘We’re Not Wearing Pants’ interview with Steph and Cole. Stephanie calls Cole a reporter, which is a heel move and slander. I find it hilarious that people are making a big deal about Steph being out of action for ten years, and not about her being pretty bad at wrestling ten years ago.

AJ, You Saw This On TV This Monday

Hey, a participant in a Divas match at SummerSlam which I have actual expectations of: AJ Lee. She’s facing Eva Marie, whose in-ring abilities are evocative of the Stephanie McMahon of ten years ago. AJ goes after Eva, who ducks out of the ring. She tries to grab that red hair, but gets her feet swept out and dropped back-first onto the apron. Back in the ring, AJ regains control, slamming Eva Marie off the mat and hits a clothesline and a neckbreaker. Big kick to the face, but then Paige’s music starts. She skips out, and AJ flings herself at her, beating the hell out of her. We get the Ziggler/Slater ending from RAW, and then AJ gets kicked in the face by Paige. Wow, she really did use to date Dolph.

This really didn’t get started, and yet there was still somehow too much. 1.5 Stars.

Paige hits the Paige-Turner and then yells ‘I love you!’ at AJ. So, this is a lesbian domestic abuse angle?

I Now Would Like To See Bo vs. Rusev. Seriously.

Here’s our Real American, and is that guy in the crowd seriously holding his hand over his heart? I remember being excited for this Swagger/Rusev thing, and maybe I still would be enjoying it if the whole jingoism thing hadn’t raised its ugly head and some of these audiences really make me worry about what the definition of ‘patriotism’ is in the USA. And here’s Bo Dallas, who I sort of love for reasons I can’t quite define. Swagger slaps on a headlock, then hits a shoulder block. Bo hits knees and punches to Jack’s taped ribs, keeping him down. Swagger, however, manages to get the Patriot Lock, and Bo instantly taps.

Fair enough; I was expecting an actual match, but this was barely adequate too. 1.5 Stars.

Swagger claims the ring for America again, which seems unnecessary because WWE is an American company, and that’s their ring. Lana shows up with Rusev, and Jack is actually chanting ‘USA’ out of time with the crowd. Lana tries to make it seem like a flag match is of global importance rather than just a ladder match’s retarded cousin.

During the break, Bo Dallas gamely tries to lie about tapping out. This. This is what I enjoy about Bo.

Well, Miz Once Beat Orton For The Title…

Here comes Roman Reigns, ready to re-enact some of the more gang-rape-esque scenes from The Shawshank Redemption with Miz playing the part of Andy Dufresne. This does make it seem like Roman passes the time whilst waiting for a fight by finding other fights, which probably hints at a social or psychological disorder. But at least he’s not Sheamus.

Roman backs Miz into the corner and threatens to punch him again; Miz cowers. Wow, this is like watching a kid get bullied and wanting it to happen. Miz gets a headlock, but is then backed into a corner, shoving Roman away and then running. As a formerly bullied kid, I’m pretty sure I was less irritating about it than Miz, honestly. Miz comes back and wrenches Reigns’ arm, then catches him with a kick and then slaps him in the face. Roman gets a look in his eye like he’s going to tear off Miz’s face and wear it to fight Orton on Sunday, so Miz runs again, tries to stomp Reigns once back in the ring, but Roman hauls him out of the ring and hurls Miz into the barricade.

Back in the ring, Miz hangs Roman up on the ropes, then heads up to the top rope…jumping right into a fist to the stomach. Miz actually gets in some offence, working the legs as if there is even a future in including strategy against Reigns. He keeps Roman down, and actually manages to apply the Figure-Four. Jesus, I did not anticipate this. Reigns pulls the legs apart to show what he thinks of Miz’s bullshit attempts at actually wrestling, and a second attempt sends Miz shoulder-first into the turnbuckle. Miz eats a Samoan drop on the way out, then a flying clothesline, then another clothesline in the corner, and an uppercut, then Reigns’ apron dropkick. Roman winds up for the Superman Punch, and Miz bails. Ziggler blocks his entrance on the ramp, distracting Miz long enough that he eats a Superman Punch on the outside. Roman hurls him back into the ring, and then ends it with the spear.

That was actually done entirely right; Roman was always a second away from completely destroying Miz, which is good and honest and fair. Miz’s selling of the Superman Punch was really rather good. 2.5 Stars.

Weirdly, this was a good SmackDown, unless it was the last show before a PPV. Which…embarrassingly…it was. In no way did it feel like SummerSlam was this Sunday, and for that I can only go so high as a seven.

David Spain’s WWE Sex Move of the Week: The ‘Wade Barrett’. Receive climax from partner. Promise to absolutely blow their minds in return before triumphantly roaring, ‘but I’m afraid I’ve got some BAD NEWS!!’
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WWE Friday Night Smackdown Taping Results For August 15, 2014 (Spoilers) http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/13/wwe-friday-night-smackdown-taping-results-for-august-15-2014-spoilers/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/13/wwe-friday-night-smackdown-taping-results-for-august-15-2014-spoilers/#comments Wed, 13 Aug 2014 16:07:08 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=169079 (Ed. Note: These are in progress raw notes and results from Bryan Alvarez who is live at the show in Seattle right now.)

Dark

Adam Rose def. Xavier Woods
Rose sells, makes comeback, wins, went longer than it had to.
Smackdown

Miz TV segment

Miz wants to mentor Roman, won’t let him talk, rambles on
Roman finally punches in face; that was great…place went nuts.
Vows to beat Orton; good limited usage of Roman
Punch replay…he clobbered him
Ambrose vs. Cesaro

Dude still watching boating videos
Very good PPV quality match, lots of ‘This is awesome’ chants
Cesaro took most of the match; Dean hits his finish outta nowhere for pin
Seth Rollins on ramp after, says we will find out Sunday who is the better man
Says Seth was never his friend or his brother and he never gave a damn about him
- Miz wants Roman banned from Miz TV, Kane has another solution: Roman vs Miz tonight

Dolph Ziggler vs. Titus O’Neil
Titus is huge, but moves like his back hurts
Dolph wins w zig zag
Heath Slater is mad at Titus, nothing happens. Some Slater chants.
Luke Harper vs. Mark Henry
Cell phone lights in dark look cool
Quick match; Henry goes for slam but Rowan boots him for DQ
Looks like tag program w Henry and Show
Spoke too soon, Kane out and makes tag match
“That’s what’s best for business”

Henry and Show v Wyatts
Heat on Show, biggest guy in the ring
Production guy now on Facebook, while nother is playing Tetris
Henry hot tag. Babyfaces win clean. Wow.
Their finish is Henry lifts the guy up and Show gives them the KO punch before World’s Strongest Slam.

- Steph sit-down with Cole, she’s the best.

AJ v Eva Marie: The Rematch!
OMG
CM Punk chants
AJ tears extension out, oops
Paige out skipping, AJ tackles her, AJ counted out
Eva wins again!
Come on, you gotta add her to the title match now
Paige with Paige Turner to AJ; the streak of that move looking terrible continues

Bo Dallas vs. Jack Swagger
Swagger with ankle lock win in one minute
Bo taps
Rusev and Lana out, they let her talk this time
He will dedicate his flag match win to Putin
- Off TV, Bo explains why he lost, but he forgives this terrible ref. No shame in losing to Swagger, but he BOLIEVES Rusev will crush Swagger.

Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Roman LOLing about punching Miz in face
Match was ok.
Reigns goes for superman punch, Miz bails, Ziggler stops him in aisle
Roman with punch, then spear in ring for pin
Bad night for Miz’s moneymaker
Kane sends out Seth Rolliins and Wyatts to kill Roman. Dean Ambrose and Sheamus run down to help. Giant brawl, Kane joins in. Sheamus boots both Wyatts, Roman punches Kane and Bray, then spears Kane again. Babyfaces pose and everyone cheers.

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Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for August 8th 2014: The Seth Rollins Edition http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/08/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-august-8th-2014-the-seth-rollins-edition/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/08/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-august-8th-2014-the-seth-rollins-edition/#comments Sat, 09 Aug 2014 02:18:04 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=168986 Whoa!  Who the heck is this Rhett guy?  Didn’t he use to work here as a columnist?  Doesn’t he do the Roundtables and PPV Live Coverage (most of the time)?  What is he doing on a report called ‘Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report?’  Well, this week I will be filling in for the exquisite writer David Spain.  Now let’s see… Rey Mysterio and The Undertaker are the top dogs on this show right?

We open the show with the basic although-not-sure-if-I-like-it theme song of Dean Ambrose.  He comes out to the ring and JBL complains about Dean filling his hat with popcorn and soda while we get a Raw recap of it.  How about Heath Slater winning on Raw?! That’s more of a surprise than Ryder winning a few weeks ago.

Dean Ambrose says that the Authority thought they held all the cards on Monday, but they can’t plan for Dean Ambrose.  Dean says since he beat Seth Rollins on Raw in the Beat The Clock challenge so he gets to pick the stipulation.  Ambrose lists off some of the matches they could have including a ‘JBL Hat on the Pole Match’ and have alligators around the ring.  He also says they could have a ‘Loser Washes Triple H’s Car’ match, but Seth probably already does that.  Seth Rollins interrupts him and stands on the stage.  Seth calls Dean the unstable one of The Shield and himself the brains.  Seth gives Dean some credit for Monday’s events.  Seth tells him to name the stipulation.  Dean introduces Mr. Money in the Bank and says the briefcase looks rough.  Seth says that Dean isn’t going to beat him at SummerSlam.  Seth says the stipulation doesn’t matter and it will be the end of Dean Ambrose.  Seth says the people can get to see that at SummerSlam for the low price of $9.99.  Dean says the people aren’t going to pay to see Seth run.  Dean says if Seth tries to run, he’ll run into a wall of bodies.  Dean Ambrose says their match will be a Lumberjack Match.  Dean Ambrose says that SummerSlam is the day Mr. Money in the Bank goes broke.  Seth says he’s not going anywhere.  Seth says no matter what happens at SummerSlam he will still be Mr. Money in the Bank.  Seth says The Authority has given him the right to pick Dean’s opponent for tonight.  He picks Randy Orton.  Randy Orton vs. Dean Ambrose.  Could be a fun main event.

Commercials.

Monday is Hulk Hogan’s birthday bash.  That’ll be fun.

Mark Henry & Big Show vs. Rybaxel

First time we’ve seen Big Show in awhile and I’ve actually missed the big lug a little bit.  Maybe he’ll do a Hulk Hogan imitation on Monday.  Henry and Axel start this off.  Axel moves around Henry and mocks Axel by moving slowly then rolls out of the ring when Henry charges.  Axel rolls back in and Henry catches him with some clubbing blows.  Axel looks stunned and tags in Ryback.  Ryback tells Henry to hit him.  They lock up and Henry flings him back.  Ryback is smirking and pushes Henry.  Henry pushes him back.  Henry rams Ryback in the corner.  Henry whips Ryback across the ring.  He flings him off the rope.  Henry picks him up for the World’s Strongest Slam, but Axel chop blocks Henry.  They double team for a minute before Ryback hits some knees to Henry.  Ryback teases a powerbomb, but Henry flings him over.  Show tags in, hits some clotheslines and a big boot.  He flings Ryback to Henry for the WSM and hits a big Chokeslam on Curtis Axel for the pin.

Winners:  The Big Show & Mark Henry

Dolph Ziggler is in the back with Rosa Mendes, Eva Marie, and Adam Rose.  Seth comes up and calls Dolph’s career a joke.  Seth says he’s going to pick his own opponent for tonight as well.  Dolph says that sounds like a challenge.  Seth says you bet your ass it’s a challenge.

Commercials.

JBL and Michael Cole hype the WWE Network.

Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow (as a Border Patrol Officer)

They lock up and Sandow hits some big blows to Sin Cara’s face.  Sandow goes for the Elbow of Disdain.  He locks in the side headlock.  Cara fights out and hits a springboard body splash times three.  He hits a tiltawhirl armdrag.  Sandow hits a backdrop for two.  Sandow goes for the full nelson, but it’s reversed into an Angle Slam.  Sin Cara hits a Senton Bomb for the three count.

Winner:  Sin Cara

Commercials.

JBL and Cole hype Occulus and discuss Brock vs. Cena.  Video package of Brock vs. Cena.  I know Mr. Spain loves those.

Commercials

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Dolph Ziggler is fighting The Miz at SummerSlam.  They lock up with vigor.  Seth hits some elbows on Dolph in the corner.  He flings Dolph across the ring by his hair.  Seth throws Dolph on his neck on the top rope.  Seth locks in a camel clutch.  Dolph fights back but Seth stops him with the Triple Vertical.  Seth chokes Dolph on the second rope.  Seth locks in a side headlock.  Dolph fights up and hits a big jawbreaker.  Dolph ducks a clothesline and hits some big drop kicks.  He goes for the Fameasser, but Seth throws him over the top rope onto the floor.

Commercials.

Dolph is pounding on Seth as we come back, but Seth hits a kick to Dolph’s jaw.  Seth rubs Dolph’s face on the mat.  Seth goes outside and hits blows to Dolph’s body laid over the edge.  He kicks Dolph to knock him back in the ring.  Seth gets back in and toys with Dolph.  Seth stomps on Dolph’s head on the bottom rope.  He continues to taunt Ziggler.  Ziggler goes off the ropes, but eats a big elbow for two.  Side headlock and Dolph pushes Seth into the corner to break it up.  Dolph hits some drop kicks and a big Splash in the corner.  Dolph goes for the 10 count in the corner.  Dolph hits a neckbreaker for two.  Dolph hits a belly to back suplex for two.  They exchange blows and Dolph splashes down on Seth for two.  Dolph goes for a corner splash and misses.  Seth goes for a suplex, but Dolph rolls him up for two.  They trade blows, Seth goes off the ropes, but eats a big high-impact DDT from Dolph for two.  Dolph goes for the ZigZag, but Seth rolls him up for two.  Seth pulls Dolph’s head down on the top rope.  Seth is on the apron and goes for the springboard knee, but Dolph dodges and hits the Fameasser.  Dolph pounds away on Seth, but Seth kicks Dolph’s knee and throws him between the top and second rope into the ringpost.  Dolph falls to the floor.  Seth goes outside and picks him up and throws him into the barricade.  Seth asks what’s funny now?  Seth throws Dolph into the steel steps.  The referee continues to count.  Seth picks up Dolph and rolls him in.  Seth is getting cocky now.  Seth taunts Dolph and screams at him.  Seth Rollins hits the Curb Stomp and gets the three count.

Winner:  Seth Rollins

Randy Orton is in the back with Renee Young.  She asks him about his match tonight.  Orton says Ambrose is unstable, but he is uncontrollable.  Orton says he doesn’t even know what he’ll do when he gets his hand on Ambrose.  Orton says that he is the most unstable.

Commercials.

Natalya vs. Paige

Paige skips to the ring.  They recap last week where AJ is pushed off the stage by Paige.  Paige pushes Natalya.  Nattie slaps her.  Nattie hits a double arm suplex.  Natalya locks in the sharpshooter.  Paige crawls to the ropes and pulls the ring skirt when Nattie pulls her back.  Paige hits the Paige Turner on the outside and screams at Natalya.  Paige skips around the ring.  Nattie barely makes it back in.  Nattie tries to roll up Paige, but it’s only two.  Paige slaps Nattie hard and locks in the Paige Tap Out.  Nattie obliges and taps.

Winner:  Paige

Rusev is on his way to the ring when he’s interrupted by an All American…

Commercial.

Big E is in the ring when we return.

Big E vs. Rusev

Rusev pounds away at Big E and Big E responds back with some.  Rusev throws him in the corner and hits some big kicks.  Rusev strikes Big E in the face taking him to the mat.  Rusev is yelling at Big E.  Big E stops Rusev’s charge with an elbow.  Big E hits a belly-to-belly suplex.  Big E goes for the running splash and misses.  Rusev locks in The Accolade and Big E taps.

Winner:  Rusev

Chris Jericho is backstage and says that Bray Wyatt is a virus in the WWE.  He says he has the antidote to the poison and it’s spelled Y2J.  Jericho says he’s going to grab the buzzards and stuff them down Bray’s throat.

Commercials.

JBL and Cole discuss the WWE Network going global for… $9.99.

They show a Raw Rebound for the Brie Bella vs. Stephanie feud.

Commercials

Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton

They circle around.  Orton kicks Dean, but Dean throws him in the corner and hits some strikes.  Orton goes outside to collect himself before coming back in to be put in a headlock.  They do some reversals and Dean ties up Orton’s legs and claws Orton’s traps.  Ambrose hits a running elbow on to Orton for three.  Dean wraps Orton’s arms around him, but Orton reverses out and boot him to the chest.  Orton stomps on Ambrose’s leg in the corner.  Dean pulls himself up and unloads on Randy’s face.  (Heh)  Ambrose launches himself over the top rope on to Orton.

Commercials.

Ambrose is hitting headbutts, but Orton whips him hard into the corner hard.  Orton begins dissecting Dean.  Orton headbutts and strikes Ambrose in the corner.  Dean comes back, but Orton targets the injured arm of Dean.  Orton has an armlock on Dean.  Dean says why don’t you put some pressure on it.  Orton obliges.  Dean fights up and headbutts Orton.  Orton kicks him, whips him into the rope, but Dean hits a DDT.  The ref begins counting, but they get up and Dean punches Orton’s face.  Dean is a house of fire and hits some big punches to Orton’s face.  Dean rams Orton in the corner, rakes his eyes, and hits a big swinging DDT from the top rope for a two count.  Dean goes for Dirty Deeds, but Orton reverses.  Orton gets flung outside.  Dean runs toward the ropes and Orton punches him!  Orton pulls him outside and starts flinging him into the steel steps.  Orton pulls Dean to the apron and goes for the drapped DDT, but Dean flings Orton over the top rope.  Dean hits a suicide dive.  They come back in, Orton punches Dean, Dean bounces back from the ropes for a big clothesline.  Seth distracts Dean for Orton to set up the RKO.  He reverses and hits Dirty Deeds.  He goes for the cover, but Seth pulls him out.  Seth beats up on Dean until they roll back in.  Orton hits an RKO on Dean and Seth pounds away on Dean.  Seth steals a lady’s drink and climbs back into the ring.  Seth pours it on Dean’s face.  Seth says at SummerSlam it’s the end for Dean.  Seth hits a nasty Curb Stomp.  Seth rips off Dean’s shirt and stands tall as SmackDown comes to a close.

Winner:  (by DQ)  Dean Ambrose

 

Thanks for reading!
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HTC Exclusive Interview With Justin Credible http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/07/htc-exclusive-interview-with-justin-credible/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/07/htc-exclusive-interview-with-justin-credible/#comments Fri, 08 Aug 2014 03:01:38 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=168975  

HTC continues its string of interviews as former ECW World Champion, Justin Credible joins the show. Matt Harrak & the former ECW, TNA and WWE star discuss his career, the current state of pro-wrestling, the Kliq and which promotion he liked working for.

 

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DVD Review: “Ladies & Gentlemen, My Name Is Paul Heyman” http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/07/dvd-review-ladies-gentlemen-my-name-is-paul-heyman/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/07/dvd-review-ladies-gentlemen-my-name-is-paul-heyman/#comments Thu, 07 Aug 2014 04:03:27 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=168953  

Ladies & Gentlemen My Name is Paul Heyman Header Image

The first thing you need to know about Paul Heyman is that he had more ambition and drive at 14 years old than the majority of adults have. He didn’t apply for a job, he created one. He didn’t ask for a press pass at Madison Square Garden, he said he was already promised one & they handed one over. He didn’t concede the floor to the more veteran & respected journalists, he slid right in front of them to get the best picture for his magazine. Yes, Paul Heyman, at 14, had created his own “dirt sheet”. Just at the beginning of puberty, he was going toe-to-toe with newsletters like the PWTorch and the Wrestling Observer. Heyman described his passion for wrestling & his ambition for the business when he said he didn’t only want to be a part of the business but he wanted to be a part of the magic that made pro-wrestling what it is.

Before moving to a larger, more prominent on-screen role, Heyman flew his way down to a Jim Crockett Promotions TV taping where Dusty Rhodes was the current booker. Heyman, true to his brazen nature, walked into the pre-production room with all of the other backstage personnel and sat in the farthest corner from where Dusty would be sitting. Upon his arrival, Rhodes immediately noticed the new kid sitting in the back corner of the room but instead of calling Heyman out in front of everyone, Dusty calmly walked over to where Heyman sat and asked to speak with him outside of the office. When Rhodes asked Paul who he was and why he was sitting in on “his” meeting, Heyman smoothly explained that he was there to take photos but was interested in learning more about the business & thought Dusty Rhodes would be a great teacher. After a LONG pause, Dusty responded that if Paul wanted to learn from anyone that he chose the best in the “great Dusty Rhodes” and to get back in the meeting. After that first encounter, Heyman would attend every meeting thereafter moving closer to Dusty’s inner circle every time.

Heyman would soon return back to New York City & once again talked his way into another job, the official photographer for Studio 54 at only 20 years old. When Studio 54′s head of promotion left for a rival club, Heyman convinced the manager that HE could promote for the club. And promote he did. The first event? A wrestling event where he attracted numerous celebrities and members of the NWA because he created a Wrestler of the Year award to present to the current NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Ric Flair.

Flair and Heyman

Paul Heyman’s stint at Studio 54 didn’t last very long as relatively soon after his successful NWA/Studio 54 event, he began managing in the Northeast before getting a call to join Kevin Sullivan and Oliver Humperdink as a manager in Championship Wrestling from Florida. This where he was first dubbed “Paul E. Dangerously” and moved quickly to Memphis and the Continental Wrestling Association where he joined Tommy Rich and Austin Idol in a heated feud with Jerry Lawler. Largely based on the success of this feud & others, Heyman made the jump to Jim Crockett Promotions and WCW. The new Paul E. Dangerously continued his managerial success by linking up with the Original Midnight Express (Dennis Condrey and Randy Rose) in a feud with the new Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane) and their manager, Jim Cornette. Despite the success of this feud and the Paul E. Dangerously character in general, Heyman was fired as a manager by the head of WCW’s creative team at the time, Ric Flair but was quickly rehired as a color commentator when WCW’s main play-by-play man Jim Ross expressed his desire to work with Heyman on commentary. In 1991, WCW’s lack of top name heels & its desire to “re-structure” their heels led them to the conclusion that a new “Horsemen”-type stable should be formed with Paul Heyman as their mouthpiece. Heyman was immediately paired up with veterans such as Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson, Larry Zbyszko and a returning Rick Rude. The one wrestler Heyman lobbied to be in this new stable was the current WCW TV Champion, “Stunning” Steve Austin and thus the Dangerous Alliance was born. He had been watching Austin’s talent and knew Austin could learn how to be a main eventer from riding with Rick Rude (and I believe that worked out quite well). The Dangerous Alliance rode high through 1992 with Bobby Eaton & Arn Anderson winning the tag team championships and Rick Rude capturing the United States Championship while feuding with WCW’s top babyface Sting. But the Alliance’s time was cut too short as WCW hired Bill Watts who promptly fired Paul Heyman. Heyman admits that he sued the company & won a substantial settlement but can’t disclose anymore details. Now out of a job and looking for the next opportunity, Heyman headed back to the Northeast & Eastern Championship Wrestling. He was 28 years old.

The stories from the ECW-era where more of the same that have been explored in the past. There were a few moments where the truth finally came out & definitely some surprises. Heyman openly acknowledges that Vince McMahon contacted him about using ECW as a private developmental territory and offered to pay Heyman handsomely. Paul accepted the talent exchange agreement but refused to be put on the WWF payroll. Instead, Heyman insisted that McMahon make any payments to ECW’s parent company, HHG Corp. Therefore Paul Heyman never received a paycheck from the World Wrestling Federation or the McMahon Family until he became an on-air personality. One of the most surprising stories revealed in this documentary was that Shane McMahon almost bought ECW in 2000 when it was about to file for bankruptcy. He wanted to purchase the company in order to prepare for eventually taking over the WWE from his father Vince. That deal obviously fell through and ECW filed for bankruptcy. The controversy around Heyman appearing on WWF TV before ECW was officially bankrupt was purely a legal ploy. He couldn’t tell any of the ECW wrestlers but he knew that if he could keep the company open during the bankruptcy process then when the paperwork was finally approved, all of the payroll checks for the talent would be covered under bankruptcy and would be paid in full.

Once the Alliance/Invasion angle had run its course and Paul Heyman’s brief return to color commentary was over, Heyman was lost in a company that already had an overabundance of talent with the acquisition of the ECW & WCW rosters. Looking for his next big challenge, it was former ECW champion & current color commentator Tazz who convinced Heyman to look at what would be the “Next Big Thing”, Brock Lesnar. Heyman was immediately impressed by Brock Lesnar’s athleticism, his wrestling background, his youth and willingness to learn. After studying Lesnar, it was Heyman who pitched bringing Brock Lesnar up to the main roster to Vince McMahon but it was Vince who put them together on-screen after hearing Paul’s passion for Lesnar’s potential.

When time ran its course with the Heyman/Lesnar partnership, Heyman was placed as the General Manager of SmackDown with a good amount of creative input although Stephanie McMahon was still the head of the creative team. Only months into his run as the GM, he and Stephanie McMahon essentially switched roles as she became the new General Manager of SmackDown and Heyman took over as SmackDown’s head of creative. It was during this time that we saw a huge youth and tag team movement. Adam “Edge” Copeland fully credits Heyman as being the guy to give him a shot on his own & really break him out as a single’s star on SmackDown. In fact, during this time in WWE history, SmackDown/Paul Heyman skyrocketed Edge, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, Booker T, Rey Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Chavo Guerrero, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Hass, JBL, Matt Hardy and John Cena. That list contains Hall Of Famers Eddie Guerrero, Booker T & Edge with sure-fire future Hall Of Famers Kurt Angle, John Cena and Rey Mysterio. Yet despite some of the best SmackDown episodes in years, the WWE felt Heyman wasn’t really following their model and doing his own thing regardless of the input he would received and transferred him down to OVW to work with the younger talent.

CM Punk & Beth Phoenix where the two big names that were in OVW at the time Heyman took over. Punk was immediately thrilled to get to learn the business from one of his inspirations as a teenager who grew up with ECW. Paul Heyman admits that he didn’t know what he was getting into with OVW but was thrilled to be working with developing talent again & instantly clicked with Punk. CM Punk’s passion for all aspects of pro-wrestling made for a perfect student/teacher relationship even leading to Heyman asking Punk to help write some of the shows. Paul said about Punk, “I’ve never seen someone grasp how to put together a show as quickly as Punk. I was learning from Punk before I was done teaching him.”

Today’s Paul Heyman in the WWE is about having fun-loving being in the wrestling business purely as on-screen talent. Plus he still gets to work some of the younger talent, specifically Renee Young who he has taken under his wing. She proudly admits that she’s a “Paul Heyman Girl” and is learning more than she ever thought possible from Heyman. Many of today’s wrestlers see a total change in the Paul Heyman that walks around television now compared to many of his previous stints with the WWE. He’s much more relaxed and having fun compared to politicking & fighting over the simplest of matters.

“Ladies & Gentlemen, My Name Is Paul Heyman” is BY FAR one of the best documentaries WWE has ever released. Paul Heyman is brutally honest about his success and failures, his achievements and mistakes. No one interviewed pulled any punches and the list of talent interviewed is impressive in itself. Names such as Larry Zbyszko, Dusty Rhodes, Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Tommy Dreamer, Raven, Gabe Sapolsky, Tod Gordon, Stephanie McMahon, Edge, Brock Lesnar, Renee Young, CM Punk and Bray Wyatt are just a few on the impressive list of talent featured. You not only get a fantastic look back at a great talent’s career but you also get to truly now the man Paul Heyman. He’s open about everything in his lifetime and the man who shines through your TV screen is truly a man you will have the up most respect for.

 

Click below to listen to the exclusive interview I conducted with Paul Heyman:

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Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for August 1st 2014: We’re Not Even Good Enough To Provide Title Match Build http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/03/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-august-1st-2014-were-not-even-good-enough-to-provide-title-match-build/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/08/03/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-august-1st-2014-were-not-even-good-enough-to-provide-title-match-build/#comments Sun, 03 Aug 2014 13:11:40 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=168824 Hey there, ladies and gentlemen. I apologise for this thing going up so late; I’ve been wined and dined kind of consecutively, and my moral character is not strong enough to break away from free alcohol and say ‘well, I guess it’s time to write my review’. But I’m here now, with a nice Kenyan coffee (a very decent region, if you haven’t tried it), and am ready to write this son of a bitch.

Can You Guys Just Pick Your Fucking Jannetty?

We start this thing off with the Real American, who’s still dragging around that flag. Seriously, I’m just reminded of these words from author Terry Pratchett: ‘I’d be very worried if I saw a man singing the national anthem and waving the flag, sir. It’s really a thing foreigners do. We don’t need to show we’re patriotic, sir…we don’t have to make a fuss about being the best. We just know.’ We see RAW, where we got Zeb Coulter’s take on the song America: Fuck Yeah and Jack claiming the ring for America. He’s facing Cesaro, and his siren has been changed from air raid siren to European police siren: if that’s to imply he’s no longer as much as a threat, that’s actually pretty funny.

Both former Real Americans tie up, with Jack getting a waistlock only for Cesaro to outwrestle him. Waistlock takeovers from Swagger, and he goes for the Patriot Lock, only for Cesaro to scramble out of the ring. Back in the ring, the men exchange blows, with Swagger clotheslining Cesaro in the corner. Thumb to the eye by Cesaro, and then a big boot right to the face. Gutwrench suplex to Swagger, and then a sleeper attempt; Swagger forces his way clear, but then runs right into a powerslam off the ropes. Cesaro straddles Jack (ew) and punches him in the face. Swagger ends up holding himself up on the ropes, and Cesaro slaps him. I don’t get why a slap is supposed to annoy someone more than kicking them in the face or gutwrenching them, but apparently Swagger prescribes to that psychology, and strikes Cesaro with an elbow, then a clothesline. Cesaro’s whipped into a corner, then runs into a boot. Cesaro’s in position for a Swagger Bomb, but he pops up, catches Jack’s legs and throws him out of the ring!

Back from a commercial break, Cesaro and Swagger are on the top rope. Cesaro wants a superplex; Jack punches his way clear and jumps…right into an uppercut. Near-fall, and Swagger’s trying to get back into it, but Cesaro’s always one strike ahead…until Swagger catches him and drives him down into the mat. This time the Swagger Bomb hits, but for a two-count only. Cesaro hangs Swagger up on the ropes, and hits a tiger bomb. Cesaro gets distracted by Coulter, and Swagger gets the Patriot Lock…and Cesaro taps out instantly.

So…okay? I mean, yeah, I know Swagger’s getting ready to face Rusev at the big show, but Cesaro tapped to him? And that fast? After a great match with Cena just on Monday? Silly David, expecting logical decisions. Still, can’t really complain about the rest of the match. 2.5 Stars.

After the match, Swagger raises the flag, staring at it with naked lust in his eyes. This preternatural courtship is interrupted by Rusev, who has his own flag with him. I’m waiting for this to go all Michaels/Hart and have Swagger humping the Russian flag, because that is literally how WWE responds to political and global turmoil. She challenges them for a Flag Match at SummerSlam, which fuels my certainty we’ll be seeing some Swag-on-Flag action. Coulter says that Real Americans don’t run from a call to action to defend the country. Unless they’re Orton, who apparently went AWOL that one time. He says that all Real Americans accept this match; as a Real Italian/British/Spanish/possibly Norwegian, I really don’t.

Speak of the dishonourably-discharged devil: it’s Randy Orton. God, could that t-shirt be any more aimed at ten year olds? Orton immediately says he has no issue with Lesnar, and this is what is fucking wrong with Orton right now. What happened to the guy who would RKO people because they happened to be the closest person to him? Why does he not have an issue with every single person ever anymore? Why hasn’t he shivved Heyman yet? But he is going after Roman Reigns, so at least some of that nihilistic desire to injure someone is in still there. We replay his beating of Reigns, and I still think they missed a trick by not having Orton RKO Kane after that chokeslam before turning to Roman. Then have Orton destroy Kane in a match this Monday: ramp up the danger factor. Challenge is made for SummerSlam, which does make sense, really.

The Greatest Trick The Devil Ever Pulled Was Convincing The World He Didn’t Exist

R-Truth is in the ring, and here’s Bo Dallas. Okay, I don’t as a rule love undefeated streaks. If you want to make a storyline out of them and make them a challenge for other people: well and good. But just having them there is a bit of an irritation, and we had Bo, technically Rusev and, if you can believe it, Adam Rose. Bo, I think, is going to be more interesting now we have to move out of the ‘x and Bo’ part of his character, so I’m glad the streak ended. I would, however, say that whoever went to a Creative meeting and said: ‘why not R-Truth?’ should be beaten by a big sack full of doorknobs.

Bo offers a hand, like the stand-up guy he is, and R-Truth attacks him, like the ex-convict he is. Dallas rolls out of the ring and Truth follows him, throwing him back in. Truth misses a splash to the corner, and Bo hits some elbows, but misses a clothesline and nearly gets rolled up. Crossbody from R-Truth, and then Bo manages to drive him into the corner, hitting strikes. The ref tries to make the count in that shrill voice of his, and Bo gets disqualified.

See, more interesting a character now. Match was kind of not really a thing, but all in the service of character development. 1.5 Stars.

After attacking Truth for a good while, Bo gets on the mic and says that Truth got what was coming to him. He says the crowd has not lost faith, because they Bo-lieve in him.

Hence The Saying ‘On A Scale Of “Rosa Mendes” to “AJ Lee”…’

Rosa Mendes is in the ring, and she’ll be facing Divas Champion, AJ Lee. We repeat AJ and Paige’s fight from RAW, and holy shit, I’ve just realised that they look exactly like Elia Martell and Lyanna Stark respectively (I’ve been reading the books again, so be thankful this is the first A Song of Ice and Fire reference I’ve made). Why would Paige pick a fight with the girl who put Punk and Bryan through a table?

AJ applies the Black Widow; Rosa Mendes taps.

Considering we almost saw a Rosa Mendes match, I have no complaints. 1.5 Stars.

AJ skips up the ramp, but then gets girly-pushed off it by Paige. Paige keeps saying ‘she’s fine! She’s fine! She’s overreacting!’, and that actually hauntingly familiar of my time served in clubs. Wow, I’d read the preview of this online and had thought it was some kind of massive assault; apparently not.

Ambrose is backstage, still with his magical healing bandages, and says that he’s sure that Hunter thinks that this handicap match is funny, and that all they want to do is protect Seth Rollins. Dean says that Kane being there doesn’t matter; he’s getting to Rollins tonight.

We get an update that AJ got carried out on a stretcher with a neckbrace. See, Brie Bella would have sued for that.

Does Michael Cole Not Understand Tag Team Wrestling?

Here’s Kane, making his way to the ring. He’s followed by Seth Rollins, and finally Dean Ambrose. We repeat Rollins’ assault on Dean from this past Friday, and Michael calls Seth out on jumping Ambrose when that’s pretty much Dean’s deal as well. I love how Michael will occasionally make such a skewed moral statement that he doesn’t even try to defend it when JBL argues with him.

Ambrose and Kane to start off, but Dean tries to jump Seth and Kane immediately goes after Ambrose. Dean dodges a charge, raining punches down on Kane until he runs into an uppercut. Seth calls for the tag, but Ambrose fights for a moment and runs into a big boot. Seth comes in, stomping Dean and wrenching his shoulder, then working him in the corner. Ambrose comes off the ropes and wrenches back Seth’s head to the mat. Rollins tags out, which is tantamount to setting fire to a baby penguin in Michael Cole’s ethical system. Kane quickly regains control, working on the shoulder and tossing Dean shoulder-first into the turnbuckle. Seth taunts Dean on the outside as Kane wraps the shoulder around the post.

Back in the ring, Rollins gets the tag, and would you just look at this depraved motherfucker? Ambrose tries to mount offence, but Rollins is too fresh, working on Ambrose before tagging in Kane. JBL manages to back Michael into having to admit he was either wrong before or wrong now, and can we appreciate this Texan millionaire’s noble crusade for a moment? Big sidewalk slam to Ambrose, and Rollins tags in again. Christ, this guy is actually worse than Hitler. Rollins stalks Ambrose, and tries for a powerbomb, but gets backdropped. Both Rollins and Kane get tossed to the outside, with Dean throwing himself over the ropes at them. Seth gets thrown back in the ring, and Ambrose drop-toeholds Kane into the steps. Dean goes right after Rollins, stomping him into the corner. The ref’s counting, but Dean is channelling Bo Dallas at this stage. He hurls Rollins across the ring by the hair, then Kane drags Ambrose out of the ring, hurling him into the timekeeper’s area. Ambrose comes right back with a chair, clobbering Kane and Rollins, only to get put down with a boot by Kane. Kane tries to chokeslam Dean onto the chair, but Dean reverses to DDT Kane onto it instead; Rollins makes himself scarce and Ambrose beats Kane out of the ring with the chair.

I rather liked this. Ambrose plays the guy you can’t ever count out, with the slightly manic tilt to it. I enjoy how he’ll get so far into a match and then clearly think ‘screw it’. Adds something to the roster. 2.5 Stars.

Renee Young is backstage with Chris Jericho, and we look at the past couple of weeks of him getting the shit kicked out of him. Jericho says that at Battleground it was his night, but he’s since been paying the price. He really pushes the spider metaphor, which is a good way to destroy a metaphor. Plus, can he stop saying ‘let’s get crazy’ and then not getting crazy?

Oops, looks like Stardust got into the adrenochrome again. And Goldust is wearing a hat. Does the Cosmic Key unlock the door to the room they’re locked in so they can actually wrestle? It’s not like I’m not enjoying what Cody’s doing here, but I want to see him interact with…sane people.

Still Not As Bad As What Happened To Lita

Oh God, it’s Fandango, so I know what’s coming next. Yep, Diego and El Torito. Admittedly, Layla looks fairly breathtaking in her matador outfit that actually looks more pirate-y. I will say, this is kind of an elaborate crusade by a pair of women scorned. I suppose he should be happy they haven’t paid someone to give him herpes. You know what’s a thing that happens? That.

Bell rings and Fandango goes right after Diego, knocking his bullfighting ass down. The Matador gets thrown out of the ring, flips back in and Fandango turns it into a backbreaker. El Torito distracts Fandango, and then runs behind Layla and Summer Rae. Diego tries to take advantage of the distraction, but Fandango hangs him up on the ropes. Wow, when did he get so smart? Oh, but then Torito starts dancing with the ladies, and who in the back decided to play the music just then? Backstabber to Fandango, and that’s the match. The stupid, stupid match.

I don’t know who writes these comedy segments, or who they’re directed at. But I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t get along with any of them. 0.5 Stars.

Ziggler’s The Most Easily-Distracted Man In Wrestling

Oh boy, we’re going to be listening to the epic stylings of the Miz, who has already worn out his welcome in my eyes. But it’s a Del Rio match, so I should be able to drown him out. Alberto’s opponent is Ziggler, Michael calls them ‘two former World Champions’, and I admit that did throw me for a moment. Oh God, and the Miz was the WWE Champion.

Alberto immediately goes on the attack, but Ziggler ducks a clothesline and hits a dropkick, throwing hands to Del Rio. He builds offence, but gets pancaked and Del Rio sleepers him. Dolph jawbreakers his way out, dodges a charge and hits a clothesline and then a stinger splash, following it up with a neckbreaker. Miz says he can’t talk about his future movie projects, probably because they’re so tragic anyone listening would weep themselves to death. Dolph misses the Fameasser and gets German-suplexed for the pin. Superkick misses; the big DDT does not and Miz gets a microphone. Wow, spiffy red trousers on that guy. He says he wants to thank a few people for his success; this would be funnier if he wasn’t actually repeating the same names, which is just lazy writing. Thank the barista who makes the best latte ever, or list the girls who write you fanmail. Be creative, you hacks. Del Rio tries to roll up Ziggler, but it’s only for two; he misses the corner enzuigiri and Ziggler hits the Fameasser for a near-fall. Miz wants to thank Ziggler for giving him the opportunity to beat him, and says he’s not as good as the Miz is. Naturally, Dolph’s ADHD mixed with his easily-roused temper kicks in, and he goes for Miz rather than trying to get a victory over Del Rio. Goddammit, Ziggler. Miz escapes; Ziggler goes back to the ring and gets enzuigiri’d and armbarred and he deserves it. Ziggler taps.

Nice back-and-forth match that was overshadowed by Miz being…well, the Miz. But still, nice match. 2.5 Stars.

Del Rio’s ‘dude, what?’ smile and shrug to Miz is just hilarious. Alberto’s just here to win matches. We get told AJ’s been taken to hospital following Paige’s girly-push.

We recap the Brie/Steph thing from Monday, and I agree it’s an interesting enough storyline, but there better not be any situation during that match when these women actually are allowed to wrestle. Because I can’t imagine anything worse. Oh, and Michael’s Not-Wearing-Pants interview of the week was with Brie. Seems an odd replacement for Triple H; I’m not sure what it means symbolically. Also, how little faith does Steph have in her legion of lawyers that she’d rather fight than let this go to court? Or even try to settle out of court with Brie with their lawyers present? My parents are lawyers, and when I mentioned this situation to them, they honestly could not stop laughing.

In The Interests Of Keeping Rowan Away From SummerSlam

The Wyatt Family make their way to the ring. Bray asks why Jericho came back here. Is it because he knew Bray was waiting for him? Sister Abigail warned Bray about Chris, and that everything he’d say would be an empty promise. Chris Jericho lied to everyone and Bray’s probably going to beat him up for that, I guess.

Jericho shows up, and the Wyatts retreat, leaving Rowan to take care of this. They lock up and Rowan gets backed into the corner, getting headbutted and slapped around. Chris gets tossed under the ropes in front of the Wyatts. Michael says he doesn’t want to be so close to the Wyatts, and of course he does: if they attack him he wins by default. Rowan attacks Chris the second he comes back in the ring, stomping him. Jericho ducks a clothesline, but gets shoved way again and again, getting worked over more in the corner. Ladies and gentlemen: this is Chris Jericho getting crazy. And as I type that, Rowan is low-bridged and Jericho springboard-dropkicks him: damn it. Baseball slide to the Rowan, and Harper trips Chris up on his way back into the ring. The ref kind of catches it, and Harper’s look of wide-eyed innocence crossed with ‘I’ll eat your face’ psychoticness is hilarious. Harper’s ejected from ringside, but pauses so Bray can whisper sweet nothings in his ear.

Back from the break, Rowan was driving his fists into Chris’s head, and then pumphandle backbreakers him. Rowan remains firmly in control, keeping Chris down. Man, you’d think multi-time world champion Chris Jericho would be putting up way, way more of a fight. Finally, Jericho fires up, going after Rowan but gets caught with a crossbody, which Jericho turns into a tornado DDT. Kicks to the gut of Rowan, and Jericho comes off the second rope with a missile dropkick, but Rowan manages to hit a big spinning kick. Big boot to the side of Jericho’s head, but when he tries again he nearly gets rolled up. Step-up enzuigiri to Rowan, and then a dropkick to the head. Lionsault to Rowan’s back, but Rowan kicks out at two. Jericho gets run over by Rowan, and the big man goes for a fallaway slam from the second rope, but Jericho fights back, knocking Rowan down. He comes off the top rope and right into a big boot for a near-fall. Frisky Bearhug to Jericho, who manages to hurl Rowan into the corner, and then hit the Codebreaker for the pin.

Rowan often doesn’t display a great amount of interesting offence, as most of the time it’s stomps and slaps. This was one of those times, but they still managed to tell an interesting story. I assume Harper will be next, and then Bray can win without outside interference. 2.5 Stars.

This was just an okay SmackDown to me. Some parts were good; some parts were funny, but just not enough to make a really compelling show. Seven.

I won’t be here next week, as I shall be sunning myself in Sorrento, but the very talented RHETT DAVIS has agreed to shoulder the burden of that week’s report. I hope you enjoy; I shall certainly be trying to steal some Italian’s computer and check it out. Arrivederci!
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Full WWE Friday Night Smackdown Results for August 1, 2014 (Spoilers) http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/30/full-wwe-friday-night-smackdown-results-for-august-1-2014-spoilers/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/30/full-wwe-friday-night-smackdown-results-for-august-1-2014-spoilers/#comments Wed, 30 Jul 2014 05:07:59 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=168669 Jack Swagger b Cesaro with the Patriot lock. They officially announced Swagger vs. Cesaro in a flag match for SummerSlam

Randy Orton did an interview saying he would finish Roman Reigns at SummerSlam.

R-Truth b Bo Dallas via DQ when Dallas wouldn’t break on the ropes by the count of five. Once again Dallas beat down R-Truth after the match.

A.J. Lee b Rosa Mendes with the black widow. Paige once again laid out A.J. after the match. She gave her a major beatdown to the point they put A.J. in a neck brace and carried her out on a stretcher.

Kane & Seth Rollins b Dean Ambrose via DQ in a handicap match when Ambrose hit Kane with a chair. Rollins ran away before Ambrose could get to him. Ambrose continued to beat on kane with a chair after.

Diego b Fandango when Summer Rae and Layla provided distraction.

Alberto Del Rio b Dolph Ziggler via submission with the armbar. The Miz distracted Ziggler when it appeared he was going to win.

Chris Jericho b Erick Rowan with the codebreaker. The stipulation for the match was if Jericho won, Rowan couldn’t come to ringside at SummerSlam.

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Early WWE Friday Night Smackdown Taping Plans http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/28/early-wwe-friday-night-smackdown-taping-plans/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/28/early-wwe-friday-night-smackdown-taping-plans/#comments Tue, 29 Jul 2014 03:49:04 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=168568 While plans are often changed, even between Raw and Smackdown tapings, WWE has penciled in at least one match for Smackdown so far.

The plan is to feature a singles match between Chris Jericho and Erick Rowan of the Wyatt family as a major match for Smackdown.

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Spain’s WWE SmackDown Report and Results for July 25th 2014: Golly Gee, I Hope Brock Shows Up http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/25/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-july-25th-2014-golly-gee-i-hope-brock-shows-up/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/25/spains-wwe-smackdown-report-and-results-for-july-25th-2014-golly-gee-i-hope-brock-shows-up/#comments Sat, 26 Jul 2014 00:00:06 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=168481 What’s up, WWE fans? Hope you’re all enjoying the summer weather; my house is so hot Frodo and Sam keep trying to throw the One Ring through my bedroom window. And yet I’m still drinking hot coffee. Hmm.

We start, but of course, with a recap of RAW. Honestly, it’s like parents rubbing the older sibling’s achievements in the younger one’s face sometimes. And yeah, Lesnar’s back. Sometimes it would be nice to be able to go into these things without already knowing about it, but that would require there not being an internet, and then I wouldn’t know about things like this. And sure, I find this a fairly intriguing direction. I just wish Lesnar didn’t have such a sparse schedule that his holding the belts seemed so very unlikely. But I think Heyman’s promo has more than justified this angle. And I have to admit, I read that ‘oh my God’ moment of Lesnar shaking Triple H’s hand as Brock just not remembering who Triple H was. Try it; it works.

Sexually, This Is Referred To As ‘The Old Switch-er-oo’

We’ve got the Usos here, and what a show they and the Wyatts put on last Sunday. Let’s see if Rybaxel can live up to that benchmark; wow, I typed that without giggling. Ryback and Jey lock up, with Ryback getting shot off the ropes and hitting a shoulder tackle, then reversing Jey’s hip toss into one of his own. Splash from the Big Guy misses; tag to Jimmy and the Usos hit headbutts. Chops to Ryback from Jimmy, then punches in the corner before Ryback powers out, knocking Jimmy right down. Tag to Axel, and he runs right into an armdrag; fuck’s sake, Curtis. Headlock by Axel; he gets shot off and hits a shoulder tackle. Jimmy’s gets a waistlock, but Ryback catches the blind tag, only for Jimmy to knock him right off the apron. Axel clotheslines Jimmy right out after him, and Ryback tackles him on the outside.

We get a warning not to try wrestling at home, which I used to do all the time and never get hurt. Back from that, Ryback is chopping Jimmy in the corner; maybe we shouldn’t try getting chopped at home. Jimmy fights back, but Ryback drives him into the heel corner, tagging in Axel. Michael references the forming of the Nation of Domination 2.0, and it’s like they’ve made a whole stable for Rusev to feud with. Jimmy gets caught with a clothesline to the back of the head from Axel. Tag to Ryback, splashing Jimmy and putting the Uso in a sleeper. Jimmy comes back with punches, misses the dragon whip the first time, but hits it the second time: tag to Axel; tag to Jey. Jey’s knocking Axel all over and around, staggering him with an uppercut and hitting a running front dropkick; Samoan wrecking ball; Samoan drop. Ryback breaks up a pin, gets thrown out of the ring and Jey splashes onto him!

Axel has worked his way back to his feet and dropkicks Jey to the floor. Jimmy rushes over, and for a moment looks like he’s whispering to Jey, but it looks like they’re doing Twin Magic. Axel predictably picks the wrong Uso, despite the fact he’s even lying sort of on top of the legal twin; Rybaxel doesn’t deserve to win now. Back in the ring, Axel gets rolled up for the three. Actually kind of funny, until you realise that Jimmy has totally pulled that shit on Naomi.

Good match, but not enough to interest me in Rybaxel challenging. After the Wyatts, it would be nice to try and keep up the quality. I say get the Dusts in. 2 Stars.

We’re apparently all still reeling that physically assaulting someone live on camera and in front of thousands of witnesses might get you taken into custody. Or is it that a rich person got arrested? Because that was probably more surprising.

Backstage Miz signs some kid’s magazine without being asked. That needs to escalate to the point where he grabs someone’s copy of War and Peace and signs that too.

Miz comes out, not dressed for action: thank God for small mercies. And surely being in any movie ending with the number ‘4’, even as the protagonist, does not make you a movie star. Miz rubs in the fact that he’s our champ, and wants to give an acceptance speech. Wow, and Miz’s Dad is here. Come on, Orton, where the hell are you? Miz’s Mum is just…just awful. Randy, switch targets; switch targets! She then says that her favourite WWE star is Roman Reigns; that’s borderline emotional abuse.

Bo Dallas shows up to cheerfully bring an end this bullshit. He says Miz won the battle royal because he Bo-lieved. I swear, I can’t see this guy as a heel; he’s actually too loveable. Ziggler shows up, and it’s weird for him to stick his nose into something he’s actually sort of involved in. Wait, is he gushing about himself being able to eliminate Sheamus? Jesus… Bo tells him to Bo-lieve, then Dolph shoves Bo and attacks Miz. Bo then attacks Dolph from behind, knocking him out of the ring. Michael Cole calls it a cheap shot, and did he not see Dolph start that?

Orton Has To Attack At Least One Parent

Back from the break, it’s an impromptu match between Dolph and Bo Dallas. Bo drops knees and fists to Ziggler. Miz is on commentary, and that is about as vaguely irritating as it sounds. Bo knocks Dolph down with a back elbow, then wrenches the head. Michael comments that the interview with Miz’s Mum seemed scripted, and there are a lot of other words which would have worked there. Ziggler’s head gets rocked off the mat as Cole starts mocking Miz’s Mother; I support him in that endeavour. Big clothesline to Ziggler for two. Irish whip is reversed, sending Bo into the corner; a back elbow sends him reeling right into a big DDT for two.

Bo rolls out of the ring; Ziggler throws him back in but then threatens kicking Miz in the face, which apparently gives Miz a mild epileptic fit. Fameasser misses; Bo nearly rolls him up but the next Fameasser hits for a near-fall. At least Michael didn’t try to justify Ziggler’s actions, actually. Mizstraction leaves Ziggler open for a roll-up for three.

Nice to see that Bo’s starting to move up the ranks, like Rusev. I’d like to think his proximity to the championship is a promising sign; who can say? Also, second match of the night ending via cheating? 2.5 Stars.

After the match, Ziggler kicks Bo in the face out of apparently nothing but sheer dickishness/frustration at somehow getting distracted. Miz then shoves Dolph into the ring post.

Renee Young is backstage, and can we all applaud her for calling Triple H out on not going to be with his wife on Monday? Is it wrong that she is my favourite character in this whole menagerie? She’s with Roman Reigns backstage, so here’s hoping for more cute moments. She asks him about taking out Plan A; Roman carries on his and Ambrose’s grand tradition of calling Triple H ‘daddy’, and says he’s fine being a wanted man. He says tonight Del Rio better have a plan, because he’s got the punch. Which, let’s face it, he’s probably poisoned.

Sexually, This Is Referred To As ‘Kinky’

Here’s Dean Ambrose, and he’s still going with his ‘just stepped out of a movie set in the fifties’ look. Following him is Cesaro, and if there was justice in the world, Lesnar would appear and destroy him to show what happens when you dump Heyman. Then he’d go after Ryback and Axel too.

Ambrose starts off with some punches, backing Cesaro into the corner. Cesaro comes back, but knocks his shoulder into the turnbuckle, prompting Ambrose to go back after him. Snap suplex to Cesaro, and Ambrose heads outside, pulling out some chairs. Cesaro manages to recover, however, knocking Dean off the apron. He pulls out a kendo stick, but misses his swing and Ambrose clotheslines him into the timekeeper’s area. Ambrose has the ring bell and slams it right off Cesaro’s head. He tries the same trick with the kendo stick, but Cesaro catches him in mid-air with his own, dropping him.

Back from commercials, Cesaro is choking Ambrose with a kendo stick. During the break, Dean got gutwrenched onto a chair. Ambrose bites Cesaro, breaking the hold but earning a shot to the back with the cane. Bodyslam to Ambrose over two chairs, and then Cesaro uses the kendo stick to wrench Ambrose’s head back, and then swings it into Ambrose twice; on the third time, Dean catches the cane, gets bounced off the ropes and manages to clothesline Cesaro to the floor. Cesaro grabs a chair, but Ambrose beats him to the punch with the cane, then uses it to deliver a Russian leg sweep. He then tries to suplex Cesaro onto the chairs; Cesaro tries to reverse, takes a chair to the stomach and gets suplexed onto the upright chair!

Ambrose leaps off the top to slam a chair into Cesaro’s arm, and then misses a charge, blasting the turnbuckle with his shoulder. Cesaro tries to smash Ambrose’s arm with a chair, but Dean dodges and throws himself out onto Cesaro, taking him down. Dean throws a tonne more chairs into the ring, making him the average ECW audience member. Cesaro’s thrown back into the ring, but then Rollins jumps Ambrose, only for him to get clotheslined over the barricade. Ambrose turns back to Cesaro, but gets crotched on the top rope, and then suplexed from the apron onto a giant pile of chairs on the canvas…and Ambose kicks out at two! Dean catches Cesaro with a small package out of nowhere, and gets the three!

Pretty good for a no-DQ. Some spots I’d never seen before, and some (like the last suplex move) that you could only do with one or other of the competitors. Rather enjoyed. 2.5 Stars.

Seth jumps the fuck out of Dean post-match, letting Cesaro hit the Neutraliser. He asks when Ambrose is going to learn to stay down, and I’m guessing when it stops winning him matches. Curb Stomp to Ambrose, and Seth’s just looking more and more ripped lately.

We’re taking a look at AJ and Paige, and I guess a feud between two women who respected each other as worthy opponents but who just had to find out who find out who the better wrestler was really has been done to death. I guess I should be grateful that at least this has nothing to do with Total Divas, but that’s like being grateful not to be constantly getting punched in the face.

Women by WWE

Naomi makes her way down to the ring, having rid herself of the Cameron-shaped millstone around her neck. She’s facing Evil Paige, and it has honestly just occurred to me how fucked up the moralities of everyone in the WWE except John Cena, Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam are. Seriously: in the real world we’d have labelled these people with words all ending in ‘-opath’ and have them under observation, lest their basic and ingrained system of human ethics suddenly fucking flipped again. And we’d have probably sectioned Cena as well, for the good of everyone else’s mental health.

That whole rant actually felt really good, so I’m not deleting it in case that reverses the effect. Paige apparently skips now and…oh yay, grabbing a microphone. She says that she and AJ are still friends, and that she likes AJ and Naomi. Oh, I get it: crazy and hysterical woman. Let’s lock her in a room with yellow wallpaper; that seems to work. And…Cameron shows up, distracting Naomi so Paige can hit the Rampaige (urgh) and the PTO for the tap.

See, I want to get annoyed, but there’s been a fair lack of crap on this show so far, so I can’t get pissed about what this was done to make time for. YET. Still, would have kind of liked a match. Also, third match of the night with a tainted win? 1 Star.

Paige skips off, and Cameron attacks Naomi. And, let’s be clear, did so using a fucking snapmare takeover. Naomi turns it around, because she’s only taken three moves, but then still gets shoved off the turnbuckle to the floor. Jesus, are we going to have three women’s matches at SummerSlam? Someone from the crowd shouts ‘you’re not even that cute or good-looking’: cold. Cameron yells that she’s here to make a statement: I predict it’s that she’s terrible at everything.

Backstage, Goldust has a…plasma lamp? God, I had one of those: did not know not to touch metal whilst using it, but soon learned. This is like a fairly tame Hunter S. Thompson trip. Cody is actually coming off like the kind of guy who would ritualistically kill people as opposed to a comedy character; I say roll with that.

Sexually, This Is Referred To As…Um…

Oh lord, is R-Truth still here? Don’t get me wrong: I just…hate him. The Wyatts show up, and I feel like this should lead to Xavier Woods and Friends feuding with the Wyatt Family. And an alliance between the Wyatts and Rusev. And simmering yet awkward sexual tension between Bray and Lana.

Turns out that Bray will be taking on Truth; R-Truth actually shows some fire, landing some shots before getting knocked down. Wyatt clubs Truth down, and he comes back knock Bray down. Truth then breakdances, because it just seems like the perfect time, I guess. Wyatt spiderwalks, and I actually congratulate myself for seeing that one coming. Although I’d argue that spiderwalking in a fight severely limits your offensive capabilities, your range of movement and your capacity to either dodge or block, and if your opponent doesn’t take the opportunity to kick you in your face, heart, stomach or nuts then he shouldn’t be fighting anyone. JBL asks ‘who wouldn’t stop in their tracks?’ Me, JBL; I’d be busy stamping on Bray’s throat. Bray hits that badass crossbody of his, and stalks R-Truth before pancaking him in the corner. Hard-looking Sister Abigail gets the win.

Short and sweet. I’m not bored of the spiderwalk, per se, but more everyone’s reaction to it. 2 Stars.

We get a RAW Rebound of Steph getting arrested. And she got charged with resisting arrest? I’d argue she protested arrest, but she let them cuff her and left with them. Did she manage to temporarily escape the detectives’ hybrid en route? I could believe that.

As Miz’s Parents Are Led To The Viper-Proof Shelter

Good reception for Roman as he makes his way to the ring. This match came sort of out of left field, but I like it. Although I’m alive to the possibility that this is just so Orton can jump him. It’s also fun to pretend Lillian introduces Del Rio in Spanish because she doesn’t think he can speak English.

Plenty of time for this match, which makes for a nice change. Reigns ties up with Alberto and backs him into a corner. Del Rio has his strike countered and is beaten down for a moment before getting a kick right to the leg and working over Reigns’ arm early. I have to say, since we watched him damn near concuss Bray Wyatt, I’ve actually warmed to Alberto quite a bit. He just needs direction, and a motivation that isn’t ‘I’m foreign and sort of a jerk. And rich. Am I still rich?’ He tries the cross armbreaker, but Reigns pushes him out of the ring, looking more offended than anything else.

Back from the break, Reigns is in control. He sends Del Rio off the ropes, hitting a Samoan drop and clotheslining him out of the ring. Reigns gets Alberto on his shoulders, but gets thrown into the post; Del Rio wraps his arm around the steel and goes after it. He looks vicious tonight, as Michael mentions as well. Back in the ring, however, Reigns regains control for a moment, but Del Rio unbalances Roman, hanging him in the Tree of Woe before dropping the boots to his chest: that looks like it absolutely kills, and I dread the day when someone’s chest actually gets caved in with that. Reigns rolls out of the ring, coughing heavily. Alberto slams the arm off the steel steps and rolls Roman in for a pin attempt. Unsuccessful, he goes right back to the arm.

Reigns tries to fight out again, only to eat the corner enzuigiri. Again, Del Rio stays right on the arm, keeping Roman to the mat. Reigns does manage to gain his feet, powering Alberto right into the corner, only for Del Rio to hang the cross armbreaker over the ropes! Roman manages to break the hold by slamming a fist right into Alberto’s face and knocking him to the floor. Reigns hurls Del Rio into apron, barricade and announce table before tossing him back in the ring; he ducks Alberto’s clothesline; hits one of his own. Reigns runs into three knee strikes from Del Rio, but still manages to drop him with a clothesline! Roman tries his apron dropkick, but Alberto dodges! That’s the first time I remember seeing anyone counter that in any way, and Del Rio dropkicks Reigns right through the ropes, stomping him down.

Tree of Woe for Reigns once again, and Del Rio kicks him. Off the charge, however, Roman lifts himself up so Alberto blasts the turnbuckle, and then hits his apron dropkick! Superman Punch winds up, and he hits it. Reigns stalks Del Rio for the spear, and he hits it for the win.

This was impressive. Roman, of course, is the nigh-implacable dominance machine, but Del Rio actually came across as a major challenge. The moves and counters weren’t quite Rollins/Bryan level, but they were innovative and the whole match was just very enjoyable. 3 Stars.

Holy hell, no run in from Orton. Then again, if Miz’s parents couldn’t lure him out, what would?

I liked this SmackDown. Very little to get annoyed about, and the time was more or less used well. That said, the absence of major figures is starting to become noticeable; having Orton or Cena on the show occasionally would be a good move; I’ll suffer through it somehow. Eight for tonight.
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WWE Friday Night Smackdown Taping Results For July 25, 2014 (Spoilers) http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/23/wwe-friday-night-smackdown-taping-results-for-july-25-2014-spoilers/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/23/wwe-friday-night-smackdown-taping-results-for-july-25-2014-spoilers/#comments Wed, 23 Jul 2014 05:00:17 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=168409 Dark match after main event:

- Adrian Nevelle beat Tyler Breeze to retain the NXT title with the red arrow.

Smackdown for 7/25:

- Usos beat Rybaxel in a non title match when the Usos did the switcheroo outside the ring and Axel got pinned with an inside cradle.

- Miz TV with Miz giving an acceptance speech for winning the battle royale. His parents were in the front row. He interviewed his mom briefly, who said her favorite superstar was Roman Reigns in a funny moment. He was thanking his wife Maryse, his pets and his face when Bo Dallas came out to a big pop. He said Miz won the battle royale because he bolieved. Ziggler came out and said Bo and Miz were alike because they’re both full of crap. Bo jumped Dolph which ended the segment and is leading to a match between the two.

- Bo Dallas beat Dolph Ziggler with a roll-up after Miz tried to interfere while doing commentary. Dolph laid out Bo during his victory lap and Miz then laid out Ziggler.

- Dean Ambrose beat Cesaro in a no DQ match. It was a good hardcore brawl with chairs and kendo sticks. Seth Rollins came out at one point but Ambrose clotheslined him into the timekeeper area. Cesaro did his suplex from outside the ring onto several chairs but Ambrose kicked out. He then won with an inside cradle (3rd roll up finish of the night so far if you’re counting). Rollins and Cesaro then left Ambrose laying with a neutralizer and curb stomp.

- Paige beat Naomi in 30 seconds. Paige said she was still friends with AJ, and she did the skip down to the ring. As soon as the bell rang, Cameron’s music hit. Naomi was distracted and got the cradle DDT and PTO for the win. Cameron laid out Naomi after the match.

- Goldust and Stardust are still looking for the cosmic key.

- Bray Wyatt beat R Truth with sister Abigail. After the match he asked where Jericho was when Truth needed him.

- Stephanie’s return and John Cena’s reaction to Brock are being promoted for Monday’s Raw.

- Roman Reigns beat Alberto Del Rio with the spear in a decent match.

Dark match main event:

- Kane came out and issued an open challenge. Big Show accepted. He hit the KO punch on Kane who fell out of the ring and got counted out. Gotta protect Kane in a dark match?

Not much to this show besides Cesaro vs Ambrose.

Return date announced of Monday, Feb. 16 for Raw. Presale password is RAWTV at ticketmaster.com.

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WWE Friday Night Smackdown Main Event Match For July 25, 2014 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/22/wwe-friday-night-smackdown-main-event-match-for-july-25-2014/ http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2014/07/22/wwe-friday-night-smackdown-main-event-match-for-july-25-2014/#comments Tue, 22 Jul 2014 04:40:43 +0000 http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/?p=168306 Roman-Reigns2

Coming on the heels of WWE Monday Night Raw on July 21, WWE has revealed the main event for Smackdown this upcoming Friday.

In a one on one match, Alberto Del Rio vs. Roman Reigns will headline the show.

Pulse Wrestling will have full coverage of the show on Friday, and should have spoilers from the arena tapings on late Tuesday/early Wednesday

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