Harrak’s Hit: Classy move by Vince and a Happy Birthday to “The Great One”! We could all only wish to look as good as he does at 41.
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“In the first quarter, our performance reflected investments to enhance our brand strength, which we view as a critical determinant of our long-term growth,” stated Vince McMahon, Chairman and Chief Executive Officer. “Operating metrics such as pay-per-view buys and live event attendance, which are key leading indicators, continued to show improvement. Demonstrating the ongoing demand for WWE content, we successfully staged WrestleMania in April, which attracted more than 80,000 fans and is expected to deliver more than one million pay-per-view buys globally, ranking the event as the highest grossing and most profitable pay-per-view event in our history. Looking ahead, we are confident that we can leverage this demand to transform our business.”

“Several anticipated factors contributed to the decline in our first quarter OIBDA results, which – while down – were essentially in-line with our guidance. These factors included investments in our content production and talent, lower profits from home entertainment and weakness in international licensing sales,” added George Barrios, Chief Financial Officer. “Based on our assessment of these factors, we continue to believe that our results, excluding the impact of the film impairment associated with Dead Man Down, will fall within the range previously communicated, which was ‘plus or minus 10 percent’ from our 2012 OIBDA results.”

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Now, in my opinion, the Ryback turn was not too bad. What he said in what was probably the best promo he has cut in the WWE made sense – he was there for Cena but it wasn’t reciprocated. Cool. I get that. The problem is: it came a little bit out of the blue, and it’s Ryback doing the turning, who we as an audience really haven’t become emotionally invested in. Hell, half the audiences still chant, “Goldberg!” at him whenever he wrestles.

So, what were some of the best turns in wrestling, heel and face? I’ve watched WWF/E for a number of years, a little bit of AWA, a fair whack of TNA, and more than was probably healthy of WCW, as well as a lot of the local stuff and bits and pieces elsewhere, so if your favourite turn isn’t in here, then I may not have seen it.

Worth mentioning:

Bret Hart – my problem with the Bret Hart turn was not that he turned heel or that Austin turned face at the same time (though he really became a tweener, not a full-blown face), it was that the turn was not complete. Some have said – and I sort of agree – that it was really well done in that it changed his character. But he only actually turned heel in the USA. In Canada it solidified him as a complete hero. In Australia we agreed with what he was saying as well, so we treated him like we always had. It was only a half-turn. It was unique, but it wasn’t really a turn.

Andy “Voodoo” Roy – from my local promotion of RCW. His turn was done slowly, building up over a long time, but it was sort of foreshadowed when his girlfriend turned heel. But the way he turned on his best friend Chris ‘Mimic’ Basso after teasing it for so long, and them being so good together, and Mimic not believing that he could do it, was done just brilliantly, especially for a promotion that puts on a show a month.

Now to my list.

Number 5: Batista. Batista and Rey Mysterio were buddies. They tagged together, but they were thrown into a 4-way match where they were opponents. Rey cost Batista the victory and the title. Batista in return killed him. I liked the intensity Batista brought to his heel role at this point, and thought he had some of the best matches of his career as a result. Now, I know this one is going to get a lot of negativity, but I liked it, especially when he got the chair and instead of hitting Rey just sat on it and talked to him.

Number 4: Andre the Giant. It started innocuously enough – Andre got a trophy for being so damn dominant in the ring for so long, and Hulk Hogan was there to congratulate him. The next week, Hogan got a bigger trophy for being champ for a while (though not even close to Sammartino or Backlund). Andre got a little bit jealous. Then, on Piper’s Pit he asked for a title shot. Hogan cited friendship as a reason not to. Andre went and got Bobby Heenan to manage him, and the rest, as they say, is history. Little rushed, especially for the time, but still well done.

Number 3: Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer was hated by the Philly crowds. They loved to see him get beat up and lose. He was a pretty boy and played it up. One of those narcissistic heels wrestling loves so much. Then he had a match with the Sandman where the loser had to be beaten with a Singapore cane by the winner. Dreamer lost. But then, after the mandatory number of strikes (10? 15? I can’t remember… Wikipedia tells me it was 10, so take that for what it’s worth), Dreamer muttered those words that made him a legend: “Thank-you, sir, may I have another?” He got it. And he asked again. With that one repeated request he went from heel to legend who could take a beating and ask for more. He – and ECW – never looked back.

Number 2: Hulk Hogan. Bash at the Beach was set up. Three of WCW’s finest against Kevin Nash and Scott Hall and their mystery partner. The WCW guys were stuck when Luger was knocked out before getting to the ring. Hall and Nash were dominating. Sting was on the outside and Savage was at their mercy. Then out ran Hulk Hogan. He chased off Hall and Nash… and then dropped the leg on Savage. Yes, it came out of the blue, but it reinvigorated a stale character and arguably led to one of the biggest changes in the wrestling landscape – the coming of the nWo and the era of a cool heel and WCW domination of wrestling.

Number 1: Randy Savage. He was a heel when he entered WWF. But, because of his sheer skill and the attractiveness of Miss Elizabeth, his manager, crowds were cheering him. And then came Wrestlemania 4 and his title win in the tournament. Hulk Hogan was there to help him, the crowd cheered him even more, and the Megapowers were born. Over the course of the next six months they faced all challengers, alone and together, but always had one another’s back. However, Savage became increasingly paranoid about Hogan and Miss Elizabeth until Savage started to keep an eye on Hogan. Then he accused Hogan of wanting Liz for himself, as finally evidenced by the tag match where Liz was injured and Hogan walked out on Savage to take her to the back. Afterwards, Savage attacked Hulk. So we came to Wrestlemania 5 and it was a newly heel champion Savage against Hogan. Hogan won and Savage lost his mind. But he did win King of the Ring and Macho King gained Queen Sherri as his new consort. But he was still losing it more and more until, at Wrestlemania 6, he and Sherri faced the everyman Dusty Rhodes with Sapphire… and Miss Elizabeth. But Savage wanted to be on top, and so he cost the new WWF champion, the Ultimate Warrior, his title. So we come to Wrestlemania 7 and the career match, Warrior v Savage. After my favourite ever Wrestlemania match, Warrior won and he left the ring. Sherri attacked Savage for being a loser. He had lost literally everything. But Miss Elizabeth jumped out of the crowd to make the save and Savage accepted her and he was the face again. (It’s the Star Wars – Anakin Skywalker story. Seriously. From Attack of the Clones through to Return of the Jedi.) The greatest turn/s in wrestling, done by one man, back and forth, but it all meant something and did not come out of nowhere.

Okay, so how did I mess up this week? Agree? Disagree? See something I haven’t? (I never saw WCCW, so the Freebirds-Von Erichs turn was something I only saw on Triumph and Tragedy of WCCW on DVD. I also never saw the Windham heel turn. I understand they are also great. That’s the sort of thing I want to hear about.)

And that’s another view done.

 
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CM Punk is different from any wrestler currently in the WWE today. He isn’t the star jock, or the big bad bully. He’s the loner. The guy who sticks to his guns and isn’t afraid to speak his mind. When CM Punk picks up a microphone, you feel like you aren’t watching a wrestling character speak, but rather the man portraying a character speaking. CM Punk may have more passion for wrestling than any other wrestler on the planet today. He cares about his performance in the ring. Night in and night out, he’s the one guy you can trust to give it his all and know that when he leaves the ring, he left it all in there. There’s a cult like following that CM Punk has. Whether he is being portrayed as a good guy or a bad guy on TV, his fans are loyal to him. You don’t see that often with wrestlers. While wrestlers turn heel or turn face and fans boo or cheer accordingly, CM Punk’s fans stick with him through it all. Sure, a lot of those fans are the 18-34 male demographic that are reading this article right now. But the fact that stick by his side is a testament to the amount of respect that they have for the wrestler CM Punk. They believe in CM Punk and hang on his every word and move. Despite the constant mocking of the WWE Universe, you know that CM Punk has a tremendous amount of respect for the people that stand by him. Whether they have been a fan since his Ring of Honor days ot just started becoming a fan during his run in the WWE, most fans have stuck with him and haven’t turned away. I even know of a lot of kids that cheered Punk when he was a face and stuck with him after his recent heel turn. So it just isn’t that male fan base sticking by Punk’s side.

We all know the struggles that CM Punk went through early on in his WWE career. The powers that be didn’t really know what to do with him. Then he won the Money in the Bank contract two years in a row. He became a World Champion and then leader of one of the best stables in recent memory, the Straight Edge Society. A lot of people might call that the best work of CM Punk’s WWE career, and it would be hard to argue that point. But once the stable disbanded, Punk struggled to get back to the top. Rumors started circulating in early 2011 that CM Punk wasn’t happy and was considering leaving the WWE. Then came in the infamous “Pipe Bomb Promo” that took the WWE by storm, and launched CM Punk into the star that he became today.

And this is the focus of this piece. CM Punk has done a lot throughout his career in pro wrestling. But some of the work he has done since that promo has been tremendous. In fact, a lot of the work that CM Punk has done has been the only watchable stuff that the WWE has put on TV during that time. It all started with the Money in the Bank PPV in 2011, one of the best “B” show PPVs that the WWE has ever put on. CM Punk and John Cena put on a five star classic in the ring in a match made even better by the Chicago crowd. One of the best matches that I’ve seen in the last ten years. It’s a debate that I got into with fellow podcast host Matt Harrak a while back, but I still maintain that CM Punk is John Cena’s greatest rival during his WWE career. They are just polar opposites of each other. Punk is the outcast, Cena is the all star. Their styles are different but they mesh so well together. Punk has gotten some of the best promos out of Cena. They’ve never had a dull storyline or match, and they always have me watching when they are on TV together. Their matches at Money in the Bank and SummerSlam were great. Punk went on to have a strong program with HHH and despite losing a bit of steam, won the WWE Title again at Survivor Series, where the NYC Crowd made the moment even more special.

When a wrestler wins the WWE Championship, they are usually considered the top guy in the company. They main event shows and are often considered the top star. But that wasn’t the case with CM Punk. Despite being WWE Champion, Punk often played second fiddle to John Cena. A problem that he was all to used to throughout his career. Punk didn’t main event Wrestlemania, John Cena and The Rock did. John Freakin Laurinaitis main evented a PPV over Punk. Punk was the WWE Champion, but he wasn’t treated like it. But Punk was still putting on the best match night in and night out. He had the match of the night at Wrestlemania and Extreme Rules with Chris Jericho, as well as at Over the Limit and Money in the Bank with Daniel Bryan. He made a love triangle storyline with him, Bryan and A.J. work. Punk may not have given the top billing and storylines, but he busted his ass to make them work. It shows Punk’s committment and dedication to make the best out of what is given to him. He did the same thing when he turned heel and had to feud with Ryback. Despite Ryback’s limitations, Punk made everything about that feud watchable. It was great to see Punk hold the WWE Title for a full year. A rarity nowadays. But he deserved it and deserved to enjoy every minute of it.

After all of this, CM Punk was ready for his greatest challenge as WWE Champion. At the Royal Rumble, CM Punk was going one on one with The Rock. It was the biggest match in Punk’s career. It was time to see if Punk was ready to go toe to toe with one of the best promo men this business has ever seen. And he did a damn fine job. When you listened to Punk in his first promo exchange with The Rock, you felt a little something extra behind it. More confidence. Punk truly believed he was a bigger star than The Rock. I would have loved to see Punk go over at the Rumble. For what he did for the WWE in 2012, the guy deserved a win. Even if it was through interference. But instead, The Rock went over twice and it kind of hurt CM Punk. He lost a little bit of his luster by not beating The Rock, and then he lost even more after losing to John Cena on RAW.

CM Punk was frustrated that he wasn’t in the main event of Wrestlemania. And he had every right to be. For someone to be WWE Champ for over a year and not get a chance to be in the last match at Wrestlemania just seems wrong. Did it have to be a Triple Threat Match? No. But they could have done John Cena/CM Punk for the WWE Title, and Rock/Brock as a double main event. But CM Punk still got a big match with The Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Some people consider that the most important match on the Wrestlemania card nowadays. There were reports that Punk was upset and just “going through the motions” in his feud with Taker. And if he was, you couldn’t tell. CM Punk made that feud the best program going into Wrestlemania. It was once again a case of Punk being given something and making it great, which might possibly be the best thing about him as a wrestler. They had the match of the night at Wrestlemania. They had the crowd in the palms of their hands through the whole match. As I said, CM Punk has some die hard fans, and even they felt it was something special to see him wrestle The Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

So, what has been the point of this little trip down memory lane? Simple: Without CM Punk, the WWE would be barely watchable. Sure they have some younger mid card guys that are interesting and have potential. But CM Punk is the guy that gets everybody talking. Whenever CM Punk is on TV, he has your attention. Similar to Shawn Michaels, whether you love him or you hate him, you respect him for what he does for the business. The one thing you have to admire about CM Punk is that he isn’t afraid to stand up for what he believes is right. If you watched his DVD, you know exactly what I’m talking about. If he doesn’t like something, he isn’t afraid to go to Vince McMahon and Creative and let him know. A lot of fans get behind CM Punk because of that. Despite his character’s constant bashing of the WWE Universe, the man CM Punk knows exactly what they want and gives it to them every week. Look back on every RAW from the last year. CM Punk consistently has the best segments. Whether it is a promo or a match, you can always count on CM Punk keeping thins entertaining.

I shutter to think of a WWE without CM Punk. When Punk said that he was just a spoke on the wheel of the WWE and the wheel would keep on turning, he may have been right. But if Punk leaves that bike gets downgraded drastically. People have their certain favorite wrestlers that they tend to follow more. But I believe CM Punk is the one guy that grabs the attention of everyone in the WWE Universe. Lots of people are sick of John Cena. Some fans don’t care for Ryback. Randy Orton and Sheamus are beginning to be thought of as after thoughts. But CM Punk is the guy that gets the attention of every fan: young kids, male adults, women. All fo them. Go to a WWE show nowadays and you seen fans of all ages wearing his merchandise. If Punk were to leave the WWE, his void would never be filled. Sure we have The Shield and Dolph Ziggler to fall back on. But despite the potential of all of them, they would never fill the shoes of CM Punk. He’s become a huge player in the WWE. He’s the #2 star in the WWE behind John Cena. You can’t fill that void just like that.

The WWE did a good job of setting up CM Punk for a huge return when he does come back. They tried to gain some sympathy for him. Punk feels like he let his fans down by not beating The Rock, John Cena or The Undertaker in the last few months. His return has the possibility of being a pretty big one. If you turn Punk face, you can build up his story throughout the summer and fall. Punk deserves to main event Wrestlemania next year. I would hold off on Punk winning the WWE Title. I still think they dropped the ball big time on the HHH/CM Punk program in 2011. I would have no problem re-visiting it, but with HHH as the corporate heel. Even give Triple H the WWE Title. Have Punk win the Rumble, and your WWE Championship match is set.

Shawn Michaels is my favorite wrestler of all time. When he retired, I was looking for someone new to take his spot on current TV. CM Punk was that guy. When he gives his promos they don’t seem forced. You feel like you are watching a guy speak his mind and not reading from a script. And CM Punk can tell a great story in the ring. He’s the WWE’s best all around performer they have. He plays a great heel, he plays a great face that isn’t like the typical WWE good guy you see nowadays. He can tweak or adjust his gimmick and doesn’t miss a beat.

CM Punk is getting some time off now and he deserves it. He’s carried the WWE for the better part of the last two years. While he may not have gotten a lot of appreciation for it from the higher ups in the WWE, he definitely got it from the fans of the WWE. We witnessed something special the last two years. We saw the rise of a wrestler that has deserved to be a consistent main event player for quite some time. CM Punk’s personality finally broke out from the pack and it got him over huge with the WWE Universe. Whether you love him or you hate him, you can’t deny that CM Punk had your attention throughout the last two years. He calls himself “The Best In The World,” and it is hard to argue it at this point.

Thank You CM Punk for giving us everything you had the last two years. We appreciate everything you done. You have our respect, and we can’t wait to see what you have planned for us when you come back.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
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Matt Harrak, Justin Czerwonka and Cameron Dougharty debate their top 5 favorite wrestling entrance themes!

Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Matt:

5. Mr. Perfect – “The Perfect Twist”
4. Big Boss Man – “Hard Times”
3. Randy Orton/Rev Theory – “Voices”
2. CM Punk/Living Colour – “Cult Of Personality”
1. Bret Hart – “The Hitman”

Justin:

5. Hulk Hogan – “Real American”
4. Evolution – “Line In The Sand”
3. Nexus/12 Stones – “We Are One”
2. Demolition – “Demolition Daze”
1. nWo – “New World Order”

Cam:

5. Shane ‘Hurricane’ Helms – “Eye Of The Hurricane”
4. Hacksaw Jim Duggan – “U.S.A.”
3. Stone Cold Steve Austin – “Breaking Glass”
2. Goldust – “Golden”
1. Shawn Michaels – “Sexy Boy”
 
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All the things that SHOULD be happening on Monday nights…and yet, they’re not.

Compelling television has not been the WWE’s strong suit these days. I’m convinced that if you loaded up an entire episode of Raw with the company’s renowned video hype packages, you’d do more to sell a PPV in one night than you ever could in 5 weeks. Unfortunately, that’s because those seamless videos are the product of a month’s worth of bullshit trimmed down to 2 minutes a pop.

The WWE almost had something somewhat interesting going for them a few months ago in the form of Ryback. Sure, he was a cookie-cutter character, the unstoppable hoss, with limited mobility and in-ring prowess…but a lot of the paying crowd was getting behind his push. Chants of “Feed me more!” filled the arena night after night (and let’s not forget “Goldberg” as well), but something unexpected derailed that momentum.

John Cena got injured.

The WWE was put in a difficult position at Hell in a Cell, and they opted to put Ryback in the title scene against CM Punk. The timing couldn’t have been worse, because Ryback was undefeated and Punk was on a roll as an unbeatable champion. One of the two had to lose, and with the bout being a cage match, there was no way Ryback could win via DQ and still keep his streak intact; they certainly weren’t going to interrupt Punk’s soon-to-be-historic title reign for a pinch hitter. And so, Punk won in controversial fashion and Ryback’s winning streak ended.

However, the circumstances warranted a rematch and so it was that Ryback received another opportunity…but The Shield’s debut once again further de-pushed Ryback. Week after week, The Shield would take out Ryback and eventually cost him another title opportunity in a TLC match. In order to continue the momentum of The Shield, they were built to be a perfect unit, mostly at the expense of Ryback. As of this writing, The Shield remains undefeated and Ryback has yet to earn some semblance of revenge.

Fast forward to three weeks ago when Ryback attacked John Cena without provocation, and you’ll soon understand why his heel turn is pointless and only further diminishes the impact of his current feud with Cena.

Ryback’s explanation was that Cena turned his back on him and now it was Ryback’s time to shine. This explanation is so out of left field that his character has done a complete 180 in terms of development. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Ryback the guy who could handily defeat two wrestlers at a time without breaking a sweat? The guy who would no-sell in ways that would make Jim Hellwig jealous? The guy who would take on The Shield in 3-on-1 situations and NEVER ask for help or complain?

The length of time between Wrestlemania and Extreme Rules is long enough to warrant a tournament of some kind to crown a new number one contender. Even at the expense of a hastily-thrown-together rewrite of the script following The Rock’s sudden departure, there’s no excuse as to why this didn’t occur. Ryback could have won the tournament to regain some much-needed momentum. Instead, the WWE went to the well they’ve so often abused: turn Ryback into a bad guy so we can have a stereotypical face/heel dynamic.

Does he have a legitimate gripe about Cena neglecting his duties as a buddy? Maybe. But when you really think about it, since when is that a reason to attack the WWE Champion from behind? There’s just no thought or real logic in any of this, which is a shame; had the company done this right, we could have had an interesting face vs face match at Extreme Rules instead of this force-fed “You have to boo me now” crap.

On top of that, the only thing that would make this successful in my eyes would be if Ryback does manage to dethrone Cena in May. However, with Cena having spent over a year trying to become WWE Champion again, I highly doubt he’ll lose the belt so soon. Unfortunately for Ryback, that means his losing streak must continue and he’ll be known as a perennial choke artist instead of the dominant machine he was originally booked as.

Inconceivable!

So long, and thanks for all the fish.
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The director of “Pain and Gain” Michael Bay had some choice words for The Rock when asked about The Rock’s absence while on the red carpet:

“Dwayne’s hurt tonight. He was pushing it too hard. [He] needs to grow up and stop wrestling 300-pound men.”

Harrak’s Thought: Here’s hoping Bay was being sarcastic/playful when he made this statement. If anyone should “grow up”, it may be the guy who keeps making bad movies starring kids’ robot toys from the 1980s.
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When Punk left last week, he spoke about achieving goals and milestones during his time in the WWE. And he spoke about having hit many of those milestones and wondering what was left for him. The speech was one that very much seemed to echo his genuine feelings behind the scenes as much as his in ring character. He’s successfully held the championship longer than anyone else in the last twenty-five years, though he didn’t win, he was given the opportunity to challenge The Streak at WrestleMania, something that could arguably be the current highest honor in the company.  To a lesser extent, he was the only one, other than John Cena, deemed worthy to go against the Rock for the WWE title when Rock was in the title picture. He’s been both a heel and a face, and very successful in both cases. There is genuinely not much new left for CM Punk to do in the company. So what options are there for Punk’s eventual return? As much as we know about CM Punk behind the scenes, it’s very likely that whenever he returns it will be for a storyline that he very much believes in, so what could it be? What will it be like a few months down the road when CM Punk does eventually return?

First and foremost, I find it very hard to believe that CM Punk won’t be returning as a face. For six months the WWE tried to get us to boo CM Punk and it never quite took as much as they wanted it to. Punk committed acts that would easily have turned whole crowds against anyone else, but every time his music hit, there were always audible cheers. Sometimes, more sometimes less, but you could always hear them. Add the fans determination to cheer the guy to the fact that he’ll get the standard returning superstar pop? This guy is going to get a massive pop the night he comes back and I don’t know if WWE will ever fully be able to get it to go the other way.

Obviously the dream reason for CM Punk to come back is to face Stone Cold. It’s a match that both men have said that they are interested in and one that the Internet has been clamoring for since who knows when? This even fits into Punk’s story of leaving because he has no more unaccomplished goals in the WWE. Stone Cold would be an opponent to defeat that he had never gone up against before, and one that could easily be checked off of the wrestling bucket list that Punk has been burning through these past few years. The only downfall to this idea is that if a Punk/Stone Cold match can be arranged, there is no way that it won’t be taking place at WrestleMania, and I don’t want to wait until then to see CM Punk again. Starting at SummerSlam I’m going to be impatiently counting the days.

Speaking of WrestleMania though, there is one other goal that CM Punk could return for. CM Punk has never been the in the Main Event match at WrestleMania. He’s gone into Mania as the WWE Champion and come out of Mania as the WWE Champion. He’s challenged the Undertaker for the Streak but in all that time, he has never been in the final match of the night. Last year when half the Internet was complaining that Punk never ended a show despite being the champion, Punk comment that he always made sure his match was the main event regardless of where it was on the card. And while that it true, and while Punk more often than not made his match the one worth remembering (most of his previous WrestleMania appearances included) the shot of CM Punk holding aloft his newly won belt after an amazing thirty minute match to close out WrestleMania is something we have yet to see, and something worth coming back for.
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(Just an FYI, as much as I would have liked to watch Raw at a normal hour, I’m being a good citizen and watching the show “live” from 8-11p for all of you… Ok, seriously it was because I wasn’t home at 3pm this afternoon. I DID avoid reading anything today to stay spoiler free.)

1. That opening Undertaker package was something the WWE should have aired on EVERY SHOW at least twice for the last three weeks. The first Undertaker match on Raw in 3 YEARS! That’s absolutely insane. It’s kind of a shame it had to take place on a “live-to-tape” show though.

2. Very cool and expensive entrance for The Shield followed by yet another good promo from Ambrose and Rollins. The WWE is really attempting to build them up tonight as a threat to Team Hell No & especially The Undertaker. If they were smart, The Shield would go over AGAIN to maintain their legitimacy against Team Hell No for the tag team championships. The problem is, when a heel act usually gets this much attention & hype before a match, they’re the ones set up for the fall.

3. The fact that we are seeing Brodus Clay vs. Damien Sandow and Sweet T vs. Cody Rhodes is the perfect example as to why three hours of Raw is absolutely stupid. There’s been no reaction for their tag team feud so we’re “treated” to singles matches featuring the four of them? You can’t tell me there isn’t anyone else in the locker room that deserves the 7-10 minutes that was just essentially wasted in having two of the same match. WWE & USA Network need to wake up and realize that 3 hours on Monday is hurting their product more in the long run than any amount of advertising money they are making today.

4. A heel Zack Ryder could be interesting. It’s obvious the man has charisma and knows how to get people talking (his latest YouTube video is one of the most looked at articles on Inside Pulse). He can make things work & a heel run is the next logical step. If nothing else, he can always reunite with Curt Hawkins and probably get more TV time jobbing to babyface tag teams. Big E Langston on the other hand is NOT getting over anywhere. The announcers continue to try and sell his “impressive” strength but have we really seen anything very impressive? His finisher is weak, he has a very limited moveset & doesn’t speak at all. He doesn’t have the type of charisma to get heel heat by just pinning people. The fact that he’s still being pushed as dominant while Antonio Cesaro is yodeling is utterly ridiculous.

5. How the hell does the first Undertaker match on Monday Night Raw in three years go on at 9:45pm?!?!

6. Good God that was a fantastic six man tag team match. Every single person in that match had a chance to shine and no one walked away looked even the tiniest bit weak. I thought it was interesting that the only person Undertaker really worked with was Dean Ambrose & only a few other spots with Rollins and Reigns. Undertaker has long been known as the measuring stick & conscious of the WWE and if this was Ambrose’s “test”, I don’t see how anyone can be disappointed with his performance. A LOT of people expect and WANT Ambrose to succeed on the big stage of the WWE and tonight might have been a huge launching pad for him.

7. It’s nice to see Summer Rae finally join Fandango on TV & I’m still holding out for them to rehash the DDP/Kimberly gimmick from the mid-90s. That being said, Fandango’s London reaction was to be expected. The crowd loves anything they can be a part of (“What?”) and “Fandangoing” is just the new craze. What I was pretty surprised about was how over he actually was as a heel. As soon as his music stopped, the boos were overwhelming and of course beating William Regal in his home country definitely didn’t hurt. I also liked Fandango establishing a new finisher that not only looks like a dance move but also doesn’t have the long-term repercussions that the top-rope legdrop has. All in all, a much better showing for him than last week.

8. When Mick Foley is “on” he is still one of the best promo guys in business. And thank God Ryback was in the ring with him for this promo because this was by far the best we’ve gotten to see out of Ryback. He stood toe to toe verbally with Mick Foley! Never in my life would I think that Ryback would be able to handle a dueling promo with a legendary talker like Foley but he also did it very early in his heel run and in one of his first in-depth, in-ring promos of his WWE career. I was very impressed with Ryback here, especially when it seemed like last week they pre-taped his promo to cover a weakness he obviously doesn’t have.

9. Despite what I wrote in the previous paragraph, once John Cena ran out to “save” Foley, the entire segment fell completely flat. Seeing The Shield chased off by Ryback and a chair swinging Cena was completely unnecessary after they just had a career defining moment in defeating three former World champions in Kane, Daniel Bryan and The Undertaker on worldwide television. This is the part of Raw that will be reaired week after week since it occurred during the main event storyline, thus almost completely overriding their victory earlier in the night. Top that off with John Cena already hitting WWE’s newest heel monster with his finisher and you have all the ingredients for a completely dull feud. I never had tremendously high hopes for Cena vs. Ryback but any equity Ryback & Mick Foley built up with their promo, John Cena killed with his Attitude Adjustment.

10. There were a ton of expectations from the internet wrestling community aimed towards the crowd for Raw tonight and while they were into the show and somewhat hot, it was nothing like the night after WrestleMania. And you know what, I’m fine with that! I was saying last week that I was a little concerned about what this crowd may do to the creative direction of the WWE. For example, the week after the great “New Jersey/Fandango Incident”, WWE put together an entire video package and social media blitz for a character who’s been on TV for less than 3 months and only had one televised match! As fun as that crowd was in NJ, I wanted to see what the WWE had planned for the rest of the year. I wanted to get a taste of what we’re in for during the spring and summer months leading up to SummerSlam and I was worried that if the crowd was too different from the average WWE audience, we’d see attempt to cater to one type of fan that they obviously won’t see every week. That was part of the problem with TNA remaining in the Impact Zone for so long. They began to only try to showcase acts that the Impact Zone reacted to & not necessarily what their television audience around the world wanted to see. So I’m glad we didn’t get a repeat of April 8th. Sure it would have been fun tonight but I have a feeling we’d be regretting it a few weeks from now.
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When Wrestlemania 29 ends, everyone immediately starts speculating about what the next Wrestlemania will look like. Sure they may wonder what the next RAW or PPV will look like, but I know a lot of people who think about the next Wrestlemania and wonder if it will be better, what potential match-ups will be and what not. And the WWE better do a lot better job next year compared to what they did this year.

I never wish bad business on any corporation, but I hope these rumored bad Wrestlemania buyrate numbers are true. It has to serve as a wake up call to the WWE that their standard, everyday booking is not working anymore. We don’t want to see rematches of big PPV matches that have already taken place. We want the guys in the main event of the biggest show of the year to be there every week and interact with each other. The WWE needs to change the way they book things and not do their typical go through the motions way of booking.

Once again, these are my ideas and predictions and are free to criticism by everyone who reads them.

Tag Team Championship: Christian & Chris Jericho (c) vs Rey Mysterio & Alberto del Rio

At this point in his career, Chris Jericho is a part time worker. He comes back whenever he pleases. But you know what? I’m perfectly fine with that when it comes to Y2J. Mostly because he can put on a good match with whoever he is placed in the ring with. And he is also willing to put young talent over. He did it with Fandango. He put over CM Punk last year. And despite the constant losses, Jericho is still over with the fans. Christian is waiting in the wings for a storyline to help bring about his return. Christian and Jericho worked well together before, and there is no reason to believe they couldn’t again.

Rey Mysterio is still a draw, but he can’t be trusted to put on a full 15 minute singles match given his bad knees and constant injury problems. So you pair him with the other top Mexican star in the company. I really don’t think Sin Cara will be around come Mania time next year. While there still may be some hope for Alberto del Rio as a face, it is fading fast. He isn’t getting strong reactions from the crowd. So what you do here is put four solid veteran workers in a match that would be a good opener, and elevate the Tag Titles a bit. If the WWE could actually time out their shows, I would love to see this open and get 20 minutes.

Roman Reigns vs Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins

Yes, this is the match where The Shield EXPLODES!!! I like The Shield gimmick, but you know the WWE can’t sustain anything for the long term. Could these guys stay together long term and all hold WWE gold at the same time? Sure. Absolutely. I think Reigns and Amborse have main event potential while Seth Rollins could be a solid upper mid card guy who with the right booking could get into the main event like Daniel Bryan did. I thought about making this a 2-on-1 handicap match with Reigns taking on Rollins and Ambrose, but I decided to go the Triple Threat route instead a la the Legacy match at Wrestlemania 26. Let all three guys go at in the ring and let the fans decide who they want to get behind. Reigns has the look and the big impact moves similar to Batista and Goldberg that could get him over in time. Ambrose and Rollins have the Internet following that can help them get over. No matter how it happens, all three of these guys should be long term players in the future of the WWE.

#1 Contender Elimination Match: Ryback vs Wade Barrett vs Antonio Cesaro vs Kofi Kingston

I wanted to find a way to get all four of these guys on the card, and this is the only way I came up with. I would like to think that Barrett and Cesaro would get stronger pushes this year, but I can’ have any faith in that happening. Plus, on my own card I have other plans for the top stars in the WWE. Ryback is getting a WWE Title feud now, but I don’t know if he will have the long term viability to get a big match against someone like a Brock Lesnar next year. Kofi is a guy who can get the crowd behind him when needed, even though I think a heel turn would better his career. The goal here would be to have either Barrett or Cesaro win. There were reports that Vince is down on Cesaro, which is weird to me. He’s a big guy who can work, the type of people Vince loves. I still think they have plans for Barrett to be a main eventer. If he doesn’t win a Money in the Bank contract this year, or get a push toward the end of the year, all hope is lost.

World Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs Daniel Bryan

Randy Orton has been rumored to turn heel for what feels like forever now. But for some reason, the WWE has continued to hold off that turn. We thought it was going to happen at Wrestlemania, but it didn’t happen. There are signs of it happening in the near future though. Orton works better as a heel because I believe his gimmick and persona are better suited for it. I would expect him to become the top heel on the Smackdown brand by the summer. That means he should get a World Title run, and be World Champ headed into Wrestlemania. His opponent? A guy who deserves a main event run as a face in the WWE. Daniel Bryan is one of the most over superstars the company has. Once the inevitable break up of Team Hell No happens, Bryan should get a singles push. Instead of being catapulted right away up the card, I would prefer they take it slow. Start off with maybe the United States or Intercontinental then build up for a main event push come the fall. Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan haven’t had an actual feud yet so it would be a fresh main event match headed into Wrestlemania.

Sheamus vs Brock Lesnar

The strong sentiment from a lot of people is that Brock Lesnar will more than likely face either The Rock or The Undertaker at next year’s Wrestlemania. But you look at those opponents, and you wonder if Brock would mesh well with those guys. Taker is getting up there in age and can’t really work to brutal of a match anymore. The Rock was just injured facing John Cena in a normal wrestling match. Why would he risk an injury against someone like Brock Lesnar, not the safest of workers in the ring? It is a big money match but would Rock take the risk? Sure he wanted to before, but an injury changes everything. So I was looking for a guy that could have a brawl with Lesnar and could benefit from a win. Enter Sheamus. He’s been dumbed down recently by the WWE. He used to be a no nonsense ass kicker but now he is reaching John Cena levels of annoying. If Sheamus could get rebuilt here into his old self, it could rejuvenate his career. Like I said, Sheamus works well enough in the ring that he could get a good brawl out of Lesnar.

The Rock vs Dolph Ziggler

This might take some work, and maybe a few extra bucks thrown The Rock’s way, but there would be no better way to make Dolph Ziggler your next mega star than by throwing him in the ring with The Rock. I originally had Ziggler paired with The Undertaker, but then I thought Ziggler would benefit more from a win against The Rock rather than a loss against Undertaker (though I would argue Dolph would be a great person to break The Streak). Dolph finally won the World Title, and I would expect the WWE to give him a big push in 2013. He’s busted his ass the last few years in the WWE and deserves to be in a high profile match at Wrestlemania. If Ziggler isn’t going to fight for a Title, than a match against The Rock would be ideal. Rock doesn’t have problems putting people over and Dolph could become one of the top players in the WWE with a win here. Hopefully a big push in 2013 will give Dolph even more confidence than he already has. Ziggler has improved enough on the mic that he can hold his own against The Rock. The match would be an easy set up with Dolph going after Rock for coming back again and taking a spot that Ziggler deserves more.

The Undertaker vs John Cena

Everyone is pretty much of the same state of mind: This is more than likely the last big match that The Undertaker has left to do that he’s never done at Wrestlemania. It is also the one thing John Cena has never done at Wrestlemania as well. He’s fought for the WWE and World Title, he’s fought The Rock, but he’s never gone after The Streak. I know a lot of people like the appeal of this match, especially if John Cena turns heel (which will probably never happen), but the match doesn’t really do anything for me personally. Cena isn’t ending The Streak, and I would rather have Taker face a young guy who could benefit from breaking The Streak. But when I was going through my card, this was the best option I had for both of these guys. They feuded once before on Smackdown, but that was over TEN years ago now, which seems crazy when you think about it. I’m sure these two would put on a good match in the ring. I would expect Cena to have a long WWE Title run, and instead of fighting for the Title again at Wrestlemania, he challenges Taker.

WWE Championship: Triple H (C) vs CM Punk

Triple H didn’t lose his retirement match at Wrestlemania. I argued at the time that he didn’t have any big matches left, and that I couldn’t see the point of him returning. But now that we have to deal with more Triple H, I tried thinking of what he could do to warrant coming back. Well, this is what I came up with. And while there are probably very few people that want to see Triple H as WWE Champion, this is what I came up with. If the WWE wants to have big time matches for the WWE Title at the Royal Rumble, then they can have Triple H face whomever the WWE Champ is there, whether it is John Cena, The Rock or Brock Lesnar. Preferably, Triple H goes heel as the corporate guy in charge of the WWE. The WWE missed a HUGE opportunity back in 2011 when they decided to keep HHH as a face going into his program with CM Punk. I advocated for a heel HHH leading a new Corporation like faction at the time with Alberto del Rio, Dolph Ziggler and Wade Barrett.

If it was me, I would have Triple H turn heel by winning the WWE Title. Then, CM Punk wins the Royal Rumble and gets to face HHH at Wrestlemania. CM Punk deserves the main even spot at Wrestlemania. He deserved it this year, and he should main event one of these shows before he retires. I prefer CM Punk as a heel, but the build to the match is better if it is told as CM Punk over coming everyone on the “corporate’ side of things who has kept him down and held him back during his entire run with the WWE. Yes he was WWE Champ for over 400 days, but Punk could play up the fact that he barely main evented PPVs as WWE Champ. Basically, the WWE gets a second chance to reboot a solid feud they botched in 2011.

I know a lot of people want to see CM Punk vs Steve Austin, but I’m not a believer in it happening. Do I want to see it? Absolutely. But Austin’s health has always lead me to question it. I would put the odds at less than 50% of happening.

So there’s my Wrestlemania card. As I said, criticize away. I like it. Do you? Let me know.

Until Next Time,

Justin C

Follow Me On Twitter @JCWonka
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Of course, the big story here is that The Undertaker has made the trek overseas and so the Deadman will be main eventing Raw, teaming up with Kane and Daniel Bryan to take on The Shield in a very fascinating six-man tag match.

In their own words, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns reminded us on this past week’s episode of Friday Night SmackDown that while The Undertaker is undefeated at WrestleMania, The Shield is undefeated, period:

For me, this is a high stakes callout by The Shield that can really be a game-changer for the young trio. And so, what I would love to see happen on Raw this week is for The Shield to not only defeat The Undertaker and Team Hell No, but to beat them absolutely senseless.

We all know it’s no secret that The Undertaker is more of a special attraction at this point and that the Phenom is not likely to stick around much longer this year. If this episode of Raw is his last hurrah for the year, then I’d love to see one of those Triple Power Bombs on Taker and the visual of one of The Shield members actually pinning the Deadman 1-2-3 … before Triple Power Bombing him AGAIN afterwards.

If Taker is sticking around until Extreme Rules, then I’d love to see Ambrose and Rollins face Team Hell No for the Tag titles at that PPV, with Roman Reigns battling The Undertaker one-on-one in some kind of hardcore gimmick match. They can even make the stipulation that The Shield is banned from ring side for each other’s matches, setting up intrigue as to how they might do when the numbers game is not stacked in their favor.

This can lead to two very solid matches for Extreme Rules that makes the whole event seem a lot more interesting, watchable and fresh than it would be with simply Cena-Ryback, Henry-Sheamus, Orton-Big Show and Lesnar-HHH for the five thousandth (third) time.

Personally, I’d LOVE to see Reigns be given that opportunity, as I have really liked his work during all of these six-man tag matches we’ve seen The Shield in to date.

And, well, if they want to write off The Undertaker until next year’s WrestleMania and leave a little bit of a cliffhanger for the audience, then why not put Roman Reigns over BIG TIME here? It wouldn’t even matter if Reigns won by hook or by crook in this case, since a singles win over Taker is extremely hard to come by these days.

After the match, you can still take out the Deadman in some sort of memorable 3-on-1 spot, and then when WrestleMania XXX season comes around, perhaps Taker will seek out revenge on Roman Reigns and actually want to face him at WrestleMania, you know, instead of someone boring and overcooked like John Cena.

I guess I truly do believe in The Shield to make something like this work long-term.

Let’s just hope WWE doesn’t muck it up.

That’s all from me — CB.

What would you like to see happen between The Shield, Team Hell No and The Undertaker at Raw? Would you rather see The Undertaker face John Cena or someone else like Roman Reigns at WrestleMania XXX? Who would you have Taker face next year in your dream scenario? Sound off in the comments section below!
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Moon Bear Kickstarter
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Hello and welcome once again to My Pinterest Is Piledrivers.  I am your columnist James A. Sawyer.

So this column is a little late.  A little lot late.  Originally I was going to have a back-and-forth with Rey in regards to The Rock vs. CM Punk, but he got distracted with writing raps and ogling racks and I came to an existential realization… I don’t care.

The argument against the so-called “IWC haterzzz” was always “if you don’t like it, then why do you watch?”  Up until recently, I could claim that there was something worthwhile, worth fighting for in the product.  Whether it was CM Punk running roughshod over the faces in full-on God Mode, or Daniel Bryan’s mainstream meme-spawning “Yes!  Yes!  Yes!’ act, Dolph Ziggler’s ability to pull out a good match against anyone up to and including brooms, or even most recently the debut of The Shield.  But it just doesn’t seem enough anymore.

The product lately is bad.  Really bad.  Embarrassingly bad.  I am an out-and-proud wrestling fan.  I got my cool, Brooklyn yoga instructor friend Rebekah (whose website you can find here) to embrace Daniel Bryan.

I got my glamorous, hip ‘n’ sexy friend Caitlin to follow CM Punk on Twitter.  I had the idea of getting both of these young, demographically important women to watch an episode of Raw to see if I could convert them over to the wrestling side.  But I had to cancel it.  The shows are just that bad.  I didn’t want them to lose whatever respect they had for me.  If they found out I was being sports-entertained by this crap they’d block me on Facebook and never speak to me again.  I mean… they had a bench press competition.  On TV.  They thought people would watch that!  I mean, I just, how can they-  sigh.

Since starting this column, the now annual (after two years) post-Wrestlemania RAW has happened, whereupon a very vocal and smarky crowd goes insane and we all hope and dream that it’ll last and effect last-ing changes.  It doesn’t and it didn’t.  Last year did help push D. Bry, probably, but he was also likely to be in a feud with Punk already.  And since then he’s been single-handedly propping up the entire tag-team division, instead of winning world titles and going all over mainstream media promoting his chant which has been seen in other sports games as well as concerts all the way in motherflippin’ Scotland.  So yeah.

This year we had the explosion when Ziggler cashed in his Money In The Bank case where the brass realized “oh yeah, fans really are involved with Dolph as a performer and cheer him over most faces up to and including Cena… let’s have him lose to Swagger.”  Then you had the ironic(sincere?) love for Fandango, or at least his theme music.  Don’t worry, WWE will kill that like they killed Ryder’s underground buzz and Cesaro as a serious and capable heel.  Actually speaking of Fandango and Ziggler…

Watch that.  Look at how funny everyone is off-the-cuff and without dumbass “writers” scripting something somehow more dire than MadTV or the twitter of Amanda Bynes.

Watch that.  Look at how clever Antonio Cesaro is.  And that video doesn’t show how he’s already probably in the top five wrestlers they have in ringwork.  But now someone got it into their head to give him a yodeling gimmick and to job him out to a jobber, albeit a talented one.  Both of whom, by the way, weren’t on the card at Wrestlemania.

The WWE has a guy that looks exactly like a buff Andy Samberg, who is also almost as legitimately funny… and he’s not on TV.  Ever.  How can they not give this guy a gimmick of “say whatever you want you’re fucking hilarious” and call him Derrick The Master Bateman or Derrick “The Hot Rod” Bateman (wink wink)?  But I guess they’ve only got six hours of wrestling programming to fill a week and God knows people will go ham if they don’t get their Inceptionesque recaps of shows they’re already watching.

Maybe it’s time… it’s time I took a break.  A longer break.  This isn’t a new idea or sentiment, as evidenced in heel manager Blair’s amazing farewell column here (and P.S. go back and read all the other ones.  The little-read Smackdown one in particular is a riot)  Maybe like Steven Gepp and Blair, I’ve realized I’ve just aged out of the demo?  Or my tastes have changed?  Or I don’t feel like watching a 36-year-old white rapper that’s not Eminem in jorts and a buzzcut when I can see that all the time in Queens.  Most of my columns have been and would be negative, and I don’t know if I want to write that nor do I know if you want to read it.

So for now… I bid adieu.  I would like to thank Matthew Michaels, Widro and InsidePulse for putting up with me.  I’d also like to thank the sincere friends I’ve made through this like Blair, DaveDubya, FDSwayze, KON, CB.  I look forward to still hanging out and watching good shows, like Game of Thrones despite what that one moron says.  And you, the readers.  All three of you.

Should some of you have enjoyed this or liked me enough to send a buck my way or send a link to others who may want to send a buck my way, I’ve got two more weeks on my fundraiser here: http://igg.me/at/SneakyMagic/x/1989246.  Don’t let me have gotten cancer and disillusioned with wrestling in vain!

As always, find me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/TodaysJimSawyer.

Hell, who knows?  Maybe the product will improve enough for me to come back?  Stranger things have happened.  I mean, odds are against it, but Vince can’t be immortal… right?  I will still be here reading columns and making comments as I maintain then and now that this is the best wrestling site on the web.  And I’m not saying that for the money, as there wasn’t any.

So long and thanks for all the fisherman’s suplexes.

credit to http://cmpunkisnotimpressed.tumblr.com/
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1. Undertaker vs Cena
I’m just going to continue to make this prediction until it happens because it just seems like it’s bound to take place before Taker calls it quits. I don’t think Cena should be the one to break it, Cena’s got enough to hang his hat on, but I just don’t know how many more years Taker can do this, especially if this summer is his alleged farewell tour.

2. Brock Lesnar vs Ryback
I was gonna have Brock and Rock but I really don’t buy the Rock injury angle and I think there’s a good chance we won’t see Rock at all at WM 30. I needed a match for Brock and this seemed to make sense seeing as how Ryback is the heir apparent to be the face of the company once Cena-mania dies down or retires. I don’t have too much logic supporting this as I needed a match for both guys.

3. CM Punk vs Stone Cold Steve Austin
It either happens at Wrestlemania 30 or it doesn’t happen at all.

4. WWE Championship: Randy Orton(c) vs Dolph Ziggler
To all of our displeasure, WWE will build Randy back into the championship picture and it did pain me to think he would be holding the belt but hey! Look! I put Dolph in a championship match! That makes it better right? Right? Hello?

5. World Heavyweight Championship: Wade Barrett(c) vs Daniel Bryan
I still think WWE wants Barrett to win a Money in the Bank match at some point in the near future and Daniel Bryan winning the Royal Rumble has a nice ring to it.

6. Double Ladder Match for IC and US Championships:
Kane vs Cody Rhodes vs Damien Sandow vs Kofi Kingston vs The Miz vs Sheamus vs Kassius Ohno vs Big E Langston vs Alberto Del Rio vs Fandango

This comes out of the rumored match WWE scraped for WM29 because Vince allegedly isn’t a fan of Cesaro but idea sounded cool so I’m hoping it comes up again. It’s a 10 man double ladder match with both titles hanging over the ring. All 10 men are eligible for both championships and the match ends once both have been retrieved and could, conceivably, be won by one person.

7. Divas Championship: AJ(c) vs Kaitlyn
Why not, right?

8. Dean Ambrose vs Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins
I’m fully expecting Shield to be active throughout the entire year but we all know WWE is going to break them up at some point, why not make it at Mania?

Rhett’s Picks:

John Cena vs. The Undertaker

I think this will happen just for the reasoning that who else does Undertaker have to fight? I guess he could technically go fight Punk again. Or Rock. Or Brock. But it seems like the WWE has their eyes set on Rock vs. Brock so that left only Punk and Cena to choose between. John Cena has done absolutely everything in the realm of a face so the only real challenges left for him are The Undertaker’s Streak and going heel. Who knows? It could be both. Doubtful so I say he challenges The Undertaker next year for the big 30th anniversary.

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar
Although this storyline got scrapped at Raw, I still think this match will happen as it’s a big draw for both movie fans of The Rock and UFC fans of Brock. The Action Star vs. The UFC Monster. Sounds like money to me. Plus it keeps two part-timers together so they don’t drag down an additional feud by never being present.
WWE Heavyweight Championship: Randy Orton vs. Ryback
This one was kind of a shot in the dark, but they need to have some seriously over people in the WWE title match and who better than these two for being over? I say that Randy Orton will be the WWE Champion here and be a heel after turning on Cena and taking the belt off of him at Royal Rumble. They could have Undertaker cost Cena the match. Claim he’s the only real challenge left or whatever. So yes that means that Ryback will be back to a face next year. I don’t really find that surprising as attacking and challenging is almost a face move nowadays. I say that Ryback will start stalking Orton and the belt. Or y’know just let WWE have him win at Elimination Chamber. *sigh* That’s such a stale concept now.

World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler
So after Orton and Sheamus being out of the title picture for so long, I see them getting their belts back by the big show next year. Anyways, I see Dolph being the champ going into Elimination Chamber, but he loses it there to Sheamus in the Elimination Chamber. Dolph cashes in his rematch. You might be wondering where Cesaro fits in? I say he wins the Royal Rumble in somewhat of a surprise after they hype Ryback winning a ton. Heck the final four could be Sheamus/Ryback/Antonio Cesaro/CM Punk. Anyways, Cesaro would then choose the World Title in order to prove he’s more of a brute than Sheamus and more talented than Dolph.

Triple H vs. The Shield
Well. This would be a way to tie up Triple H and all it would take is a Cerberus Bomb (TM: Steven Berkman) to Vince McMahon. Triple H comes back to take out The Shield, but they keep running until WrestleMania. There we have this handicap match in which The Shield obliterates him. Of course this is a big gamble because who’s to say that these guys will even be together this time next year? Well if Triple H doesn’t pan out because he’s an unpredictable part-timer then The Shield will be fighting themselves in a triple threat.

CM Punk vs. Alberto del Rio
This would be the technical bout of the evening with Punk trying to prove he can make anyone tap out. (Punk is back to a face by here though) Del Rio (back to heel after the failed face run) bum rushes Punk and forces him into the Armbar thus igniting a feud that runs into Mania with a Submission match.

WWE Tag Team Championship: Wade Barrett and The Big Show vs. Fandango and Brodus Clay
Eh just some more creative thinking. Wade and Big Show could make an interesting team with both of them just want to knock people out with their elbows and fists. Fandango I think will go face due to how over the guy is. But he will have lost a lot of his following by this time. So Sweet T either disappears or gets taken out by Big Show and Wade leading to Clay incorporating Fandango as his partner.

Daniel Bryan vs. Chris Jericho
This could also be a technical bout, but I think both of these men have sort of moved past that territory into strictly high-impact entertainment. Therefore I see this happening just to see who can steal the show at WrestleMania. This is another gamble because I have no idea if Jericho will even be back by this time.

United States Championship Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne
They talked about Kofi going heel so why not have Kofi and Evan join forces again when Evan comes back, but Kofi just walk out of the match and leaves Evan to Wade and Big Show to dismantle. Granted Kofi could have lost and regained the United States Championship by this time. Actually. How about they turn Kofi heel, have him fight some of the bigger dogs (Cena, Orton, whoever) lose to them decide to go back to the United States scene, win that belt, Evan comes back and ‘turns’ Kofi face. They team up for a few weeks before the big title match. He leaves Evan for Big Show and Wade in like December. Evan disappears for a month or two. Then they have a big battle royal for Kofi’s belt. Evan surprises returns and wins it. Kofi avoids fighting him until WrestleMania. Evan finally wins.

Titus O’Neil vs. Mark Henry
Well Mark needed a match and Vince is high on Titus and I think he would do better as a face. Here ya go. Our slow-bearhug-falling squash match of WrestleMania XXX.

Intercontinental Championship: Cody Rhodes (c) vs. Kane vs. Christian vs. The Miz
Literally just a way to have the rest of the guard on the show. The Miz could just recently have lost the title to Cody and Kane and Christian could have a running feud with either of them. *shrugs* However they want to go with this. Just a way to have as many people on the card as possible. Sure beats the hell out of the 8-Man Mixed Tag Match.

Diva’s Championship: Kaitlyn (c) vs. AJ
Well it didn’t happen this year and who really cares at this point? Why not just let Kaitlyn hold the belt until that date? No one cares about it anyways and she could break the record or whatever. AJ wins for a big face moment.

Joel’s Picks:

Brock Lesnar vs. The Rock

A week and a half ago, this was an all but guaranteed match for Mania 30, but then Rock mysteriously up and left, leaving us to question what exactly had gone on backstage. Still, even if there is now bad blood between The Rock and the company, too much money stands to be made off of a Brock and Rock match. Think how many people we were should would never be in a WWE ring again because of behind the scene squabbles, only too see them return when the money was right for everyone.

John Cena vs. The Undertaker (WWE Championship)

This was actually a match that I wanted for CM Punk this year, with him putting his year long reign against Taker’s WrestleMania streak. But alas it was not to be. However having this stipulation next year will offer a small consilation prize, because if Cena should be the one to end the streak (boo) there is a very easy story to set up where Punk doesn’t want Cena’s title reign to be longer than his. It means we would have to put up with a Cena champion for a year straight, but imagine the payoff with CM Punk going after Cena in the main event of WrestleMania 31.

CM Punk vs. Stone Cold:

It’s now or never. Both men have said that they want this match to happen. WrestleMania 30 is the perfect time to pull the trigger. Any point after that and they’ve probably waited too long. The time is now.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton (WHC)

While I would love a year title reign for Dolph, that’s not what I’m asking for. But if he could at least stay near the title scene throughout the year that would be great. That’s not too much to ask right? And maybe don’t have him job to Swagger on an episode of Raw the week after winning the title?

Bella vs. Bella

I actually had the same match as the previous two guys until I saw that we all were predicting the same thing. This way, if I somehow magically end up being right, I’ll look like a genus.

Rey Mysterio vs. Del Rio

I’ve predicted a Mask vs. Mask match for Mysterio and Sin Cara for a few years now. But with Sin Cara being the biggest disappointment in the WWE, this time, he’s out. But as it’s closing in on time for Rey to retire, one last glorious WrestleMania moment, is probably not out of the question for the guy, provided he won’t be injured this time next year.

The Team Friendship Fight:

Team Friendship honestly will most likely not be able to make it another entire year, but if they do this is the match I want. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan the winner is the undisputed tag team champions, and had to defend the titles solo at Extreme Rules next year.

Triple H vs. Vince McMahon (w/Ryback)

And what’s a celebration of thirty years of WrestleMania without a little bit of passing the torch? Vince returns to his heel persona, and then Triple H has to fight his father in law for control of the company. Ryback is also in Vince’s corner so that 1. Ryback gets a spot on the card, and 2. Triple H will actually have someone to fight in the ring.

Ladder match to unify the mid card titles (with: The Shield, Wade Barrett, Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston, Miz, Christian, and Big E)

Based on an idea that was supposedly floating around backstage this year but never came to fruition, it’s a way to get a lot of the full times on a card that is usually crowded with part times. Plus as Chris points out, this type of match can really give Mania a shot in the arm, something that has been lacking since MiTB got its own PPV.
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1. Based on that pop, I don’t know if anyone is more excited that Raw is in South Carolina tonight than Randy Orton.

2. Please don’t tell me that WWE is turning 3MB babyfaces… One cheesy gimmick is fine (Fandango) but I don’t think I can keep watching WWE if 3MB are going to be an established act every week.

3. I don’t think there’s a single member of the “WWE Universe” that thinks that the Brock Lesnar/Triple H should continue. Their matches aren’t very good, WrestleMania was completely underwhelming and the good guy won! Why the hell should he face the villain he already defeated? I really can’t believe this is the best use of Lesnar since The Rock is injured. There’s a locker room full of untapped talent that has never crossed paths with Lesnar that would benefit immensely from even only a month-long feud with a star like Lesnar. This is the epitome of lazy booking & it’s becoming more and more prevalent every week.

4. What a shock. News comes out that Vince McMahon doesn’t like Antonio Cesaro. Cesaro starts yodeling. Loses title to perennial mid-carder Kofi Kingston.

5. Decent Raw debut promo from Dolph Ziggler as World Heavyweight Champion but SmackDown was better. Luckily we all know what he’s capable of both in the ring and on the mic so this wasn’t as important as it would have been for someone who hasn’t been on TV every week for the last 3 years or so.

6. Despite the fact that it was a pre-taped promo, I really liked Ryback here. His reasoning for turning against Cena made perfect sense in two ways. It gave John Cena fans a reason to now boo Ryback and it gave Cena haters even more reasons to root for Ryback in this feud. It obviously didn’t have the same impact a live promo or another John Cena attack would have but it established continuity for Ryback’s character and gave him a “heel turn back story”. It’s not something WWE does often so when they do, it really stands out as something different and impactful.

7. Yup that sucked. WWE & Fandango are DAMN lucky that they’re in London next week or Fandango might be headed for a long ride off of a short cliff.

8. Alright, I understand the idea of going with a triple threat for the World Heavyweight Championship at Extreme Rules but how is it good business to job out your brand new World Champion only a week after he won the title to a guy who’s lost twice in one week? I know Ziggler looked strong on SmackDown but how many people really watch both shows? For him to be jobbed out on Raw pushes the perception that Ziggler is undeserving of the championship to the WWE’s core audience.

9.  An ok CM Punk segment that’s obviously been done before. But honestly, what was Punk supposed to do next? John Cena has Ryback. Sheamus is facing Mark Henry. Brock Lesnar and Triple H are continuing. There’s absolutely nothing (at least nothing interesting) for Punk to do. This is the perfect time for him to take a break and then come back when he & his character are fresh. This promo reminded of the infamous “I lost my smile” promo from Shawn Michaels except it was done by heel and it was a work.

10. While throwing The Shield into the last segment was a strong touch for them as a group, the John Cena/Ryback segment as a whole did absolutely nothing for me. I know this is marketed towards kids since now their two favorite wrestlers are fighting one another but for everyone else, what is the actual controversy? Everything Ryback said Cena did, John Cena did. He never helped when Ryback was getting beat down. He always took over the spotlight even when it was Ryback challenging for the WWE title. Ryback was completely justified in what he did and how he feels towards Cena. If that’s the entire depth of the storyline, it’s not going to carry on for very long.
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I then read thoughts on this site and several others concerning Wrestlemania. I must have been watching a different show, I thought. So I decided to bite the bullet and without the emotional crap that surrounds it, I watched it again.

Here’s what I saw with the value of hindsight and having not seen either the crappiest RAW ever or the best RAW ever (depending on who you read, but it seems the crowd was beyond awesome).

The Miz v Barrett match was as dull as I remembered it. I did YouTube the Raw match, and that was much better, but still not great. I’ve seen Barrett in video form from his early days. It’s the WWE’s fault he is like he is. He could be the new version of a sort of Belfast Bruiser type of bully. But the Miz… he enjoys himself, but, really, he doesn’t belong with the big boys.

The Shield v Big Show, Randy Orton and Sheamus was a match I enjoyed on first viewing and appreciated more on second. The Shield are being booked well, sure, but they are also all delivering in their roles. They are doing the sports entertainment thing so well, as well as the wrestling thing. Orton and Sheamus are doing what they’re told to do – and, unfortunately, that doesn’t include emoting. But the surprise to me was the Big Show. His facials, his body language, all of it told the story that led up to Orton stealing the tag and then him decking Orton and Sheamus. It was really good. Yes, Big Show was something I liked about this match.

Ryback v Mark Henry was dull at first watching, and dull at second, but the second time I found myself happy that Henry won. There are 4 big men on the WWE list (not counting Big Show because he’s a giant and all): Lesnar, Henry, Langston and Ryback. Watching this PPV, Ryback comes in at number 4. By a mile.

Kane and Daniel Bryan v Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston was my favourite match of the night. Others have crapped on it, but I liked it then and I liked it on second viewing. Don’t ask me why, I just did.

Fandango v Chris Jericho I was down on when I first saw it, but that was because, I think, Jericho lost and the Fandango character does not resonate with me as a viewer. Having said that, on second viewing, it was an entertaining enough match. Not brilliant or anything, but entertaining, or watchable, or something.

I had high hopes for Alberto Del Rio and Jack Swagger and they did not deliver on those expectations, so I was down on the match. Watching it now, it’s not a brilliant match, but it’s serviceable. Certainly as good as Fandango/Jericho, but I really did expect more out of these two.

CM Punk v Undertaker is a can of worms match. My distaste for all things Undertaker is well known. I think he is given a free pass by many who write about wrestling for reasons that are completely lost on me. I have always found him boring in the ring, and his lack of selling (or arbitrary selling at best) ruins the flow of too many matches. I shall stop there because, apparently, according to those who post comments on sites like this, he is the greatest wrestler evahhh and I just don’t know it. Well, I’ve been watching a lot of WCW lately, and watching how Flair worked his matches, and I think he might just be the very greatest wrestler of all time for more reasons than just his superb in-ring ability (teaser there for my upcoming WCW postings). Ah-hem. Back to the match. I found it dull on first viewing. But it’s Undertaker, so that was what I expected going in. Now, a week later, I think it was a good match. IN MY OPINION it was better than the HHH matches by a mile because the “lying around pretending to be dead” form of selling was kept to a minimum, and IN MY OPINION better than the Michaels’ ones because Punk held up his end of the match and sold properly throughout and played a heel character against the face Taker brilliantly, not working with pseudo-emotion. CM Punk made the match a good one. I still enjoyed the tag match more, but this match was the best Taker match I think I might have ever seen (there’s probably a few Bret Hart ones that were pretty good as well, and the first HiaC was good until the non-ending, and. no, I was not a big fan of the Mick Foley ones, even the talked-about one (and that’s because falling off a cage does not a match make)).

HHH v Brock Lesnar was long. And dull. And it was worse second time around because I knew what was coming and it seemed to take so long to get there.

John Cena v The Rock was not as good as last year’s match between them. I found it strangely muted. It wasn’t a bad match, and it certainly wasn’t boring, but it didn’t grab me or capture my attention in any way shape or form. It’s not going to be an oft-watched match, that’s for sure.

This was a middle-range Wrestlemania. It was not a bad one, not a WM 9 or 11 or 25 or 27. On the other hand, it was certainly no WM 10, 17 or 20, either. It was a middle of the road Wrestlemania, maybe a WM 6 or 12. I was worried it was going to suck the meat missile, but it didn’t. It was okay. Not great, not horrid – okay.

And, dammit!, I had to go and like an Undertaker match!

That’s this view!

 
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Link to WrestleMania Powerpoint
Link to Moon Bear Kickstarter project
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Matt Harrak, Justin Czerwonka and Cameron Dougharty give a live report on WrestleMania 29, Axxess, the Hall of Fame, WrestleCon and Monday Night Raw! Give a listen to this HUGE show!

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And then, as it always does after WrestleMania, RAW happened. People seemed genuinely excited about RAW for many reasons, but when I read what happened, I couldn’t really figure out for what reason other than a crowd who seemed so put off by current WWE programming that felt they needed to take matters into their own hands. This has been discussed at length, but I applaud this sort of crowd – a live crowd (or rather a collection of live crowds) is one of the only true mechanisms that exist that could even potentially persuade WWE to change their creative direction as a whole. However, that mechanism exists in probably twenty different cities and possibly even other countries, over the course of just one  given month. Add to that the fact that this mechanism is broken up into as many fragments as however many people whatever arena they’re in can seat, and I really don’t see much of a reason to get excited over something like this. It will only matter if they actually manage to get a trend started among live crowds, and for that, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

I have difficulty seeing what else there is going on in WWE after WrestleMania to even get the least bit excited about. Mark Henry and Ryback struggled to make it onto the WrestleMania card in even a filler-match capacity, and that match made me question whether I had fallen into a Star Trek-style time loop. Now they’re in the main event against John Cena – that’s literally your main event. John Cena, Ryback and Mark Henry. And people are excited at the reaction Ryback got for attacking Cena? My old family dog could have gotten that reaction for peeing on Cena’s leg, and that dog has been dead for 6 years. I will admit that Dolph Ziggler’s World Heavyweight Title cash-in was fun to see, and whlie I don’t have the love affair with the guy that many seem to, you have to be excited for anyone who wins the title and gets that kind of reception.

But even that isn’t much of a change - and really, what else happened? Miz lost the Intercontinental Title that he’d won 24 hours earlier, which would be fine, because The Miz sucks, if it wasn’t for the fact that it was back to Wade Barrett, who sucks even worse. And I wouldn’t be surprised if this happened so Miz could go up the card, not down. That’s certainly not an imrpovement. Randy Orton, Shaemus and Big Show? I think the crowd from Monday pretty much illustrated the general public’s feelings on that developing into some sort of storyline.

Really, the only thing that would hold my interest at this point would be matches between Del Rio and Ziggler – and certainly not for any storyline sort of reason, which makes watching the buildup an exercise in wasting your time. I suppose The Shield going for Undertaker could be interesting, but again – with the way WWE storylines are going these days, what’s the incentive to watch anything leading up to the actual match when the storyline structure never changes?

So I really don’t see much reason to be excited. Remember last year? People were excited because John Cena lost his WrestleMania match to The Rock that he said he must win, which was surprising for some odd reason to a large number of people, and then on RAW he got dominated by a returning Brock Lesnar. The end of that RAW got people excited as well, and what did we get out of that? We got one match out of Brock that was impressive until the last two minutes where all that went down the toilet, followed by two matches that are widely regarded as dull, and those two matches ended with Triple H on top. That’s literally all we got out of something that excited people one year ago. Looking back, you have to wonder if we would have been better off if they just hadn’t bothered with Brock at all.

Whlie I didn’t think it would change anything big-picture-wise, the Brock thing was at least something that it made sense for people to cling on to and get excited about when hoping for change. What is there from RAW, or from WrestleMania for that matter?

These types of things really illustrate the lack of pattern recognition that some people seem to have with wrestling. And putting the issue of Brock aside for the moment, let’s look at the unknowns that WWE has brought up over the years. Almost every time one of them debuts, people get excited before they ever see them say a word or wrestle a match. Obviously, Fandango is the latest example of this – now, let it be known that I’ve never seen anything out of Johnny Curtis that I remember. I’ve seen the one match from him at WrestleMania that neither impressed nor offended me. So it may be quite possible that he is indeed very impressive. But many people got excited about Fandango before ever seeing him wrestle or save a word, and there was talk about how he was going to be a big star. Me, I thought “He’s a wrestler with a ballroom dancer gimmick who is concerned with the pronunciation of his name. Yeah, he’ll go far for sure.”

As I say, Fandango isn’t the best example because it’s still early for him and he can still shed the silly gimmick and have a chance to be taken seriously. But there have been countless examples of this type of thing from fans, going back as far as Ken Anderson. Former WWE Champion and Home-Beard-Dye-Kit-Cautionary-Tale Shaemus is obviously the most prominent example of this, and just to remind everyone, I thought Shaemus sucked after his first run, but didn’t really judge him by that – he was pushed too fast and he floundered. It was after the second run as a babyface started that I said it wouldn’t work out. (I was right, by the way.)  And look at the guy now – he couldn’t get arrested. No one gives a rat’s ass whether he’s on the show or not, after over a year of being pushed as unstoppable… hard… for over a year. Wade Barrett? The Miz? Are you fucking kidding me? How many times does something have to NOT work before people give up on a guy?

Guaranteed that sometime this year, the next guy to follow this pattern will emerge. Let’s call him… Shaemizgger Sandrettback (Shaemus, Miz, Ziggler, Sandow, Barrett, Ryback). Maybe we’ll get some vignettes, and then an interview, and people will start jumping to conclusions. Then he’ll have a match, and good or bad, people will be impressed and start talking about his future. If it’s horrible, they’ll talk about management being high on him despite not being strong in the ring because of his “connection with the fans” or some other such nonsense. I’ll tell everyone he blows, most people will disagree, and then 2 years from now he’ll be where Barrett or Miz is, which is basically floundering, or if they’re lucky, where Shaemus is – which is still floundering, just at a higher level.

MATT HARRAK: Hang on, Blair, back up.

AH!

HARRAK: What?

Sorry Matt, I guess… I guess I didn’t see you there. How did you get in here?

HARRAK: Well, I don’t see how you can judge Shaemizgger Sandrettback so harshly this early into his career.

What are you… I don’t… what?

HARRAK: It’s true. Open your eyes and look at the reactions he’s getting. He obviously has the connection with the crowd and the ring presence to be a huge star.

What is this. What are you doing.

HARRAK: I like character-based wrestlers, and that’s what he is. He’s exactly what they need. Shaemizgger Sandrettback is obviously going to be main-eventing WrestleMania one day.

Dude, he’s… he’s not real. I made him up as an example.

JAMES ALSOP: Blair, all that means is you haven’t seen him yet.

How the hell did you get in h… I haven’t seen him because he doesn’t exist.

ALSOP: Exactly. You can’t judge what you haven’t seen, and if it doesn’t exist, you obviously haven’t seen it.

HARRAK: He’s got you there, Blair. 

Okay, enough is enough. Guys, go get me a fucking Pepsi.

HARRAK: Sure! I used to work for Pepsi, so I know all about the right way to get someone a soft drink.

Yeah yeah. Try not to give the vending machine 5 stars while you’re at it.

Sorry about that. ANYWAY – Jonah Kue made this point some time ago, and I couldn’t agree with it more – I personally believe that it’s because people want change so badly in WWE that they’ll hitch their wagon to anyone who even has an outside chance of providing it, no matter how unlikely it may be. It’s a proclivity that seems to overwhelm logic, reason, and, as mentioned before, pattern recognition.

Ah, modern-day wrestling fans. I both sympathize with and envy you at the same time, because you do with WWE what I can’t do – live in hope.

And let’s not pretend that my opinion is some “IWC” or “smark” thing, either. The term “IWC” is so incredibly obselete that you end up looking like an idiot for using it. For a time, it used to refer to people who generally preferred smaller wrestlers and / or enjoyed longer matches, more technical matches, or spotfests – even in the beginning it wasn’t specific. Certain wrestlers that came out of environments like Ring Of Honor often had their fans called “IWC”, because obviously that was the only reason anyone could like the product that ROH puts out, or guys like Punk and Bryan. As the indys became increasingly obselete, the term was used more and more often to refer to people that disliked Cena, and then WWE, to the point where anyone who disliked Cena or WWE were often called “IWC”, because obviously that was the only reason anyone could dislike Cena or WWE programming. You didn’t like Mark Henry’s title run or Shaemus’ matches against Big Show? You must be some internet IWC smarky smark then. That’s the only explanation.

It boggles the mind.

These days, the term is used to refer to all of those things and more. It’s become such a blanket that it’s eseentially meaningless, and more of a term that is used as a knee-jerk reaction when someone disagrees with someone else related to professional wrestling. Not a good term to use in that respect, either – many terms that can be applied to people can specifically define the user’s belief about what the subject in question specifically represents – like if someone were to use a pen to circle a single term on a sheet of paper. What the users of the “IWC” term don’t understand is that there’s nothing specific about this term – using it is more like throwing the pen in the garbage before tossing a bottle of ink all over the desk. The term is occasionally used in a less assumptive form, of course – but rarely, and even when it is, it’s still a silly blanket statement.

If you simply MUST use the “IWC” term, then just know that it applies to everyone who watches wrestling in the present day, because pretty much everyone who does so has access to the internet. If you use the term, or even know that it exists, then just by that you fall into that spectrum. And obviously, not all “IWC” people like Punk or Bryan any more than all of them like Shaemus or Miz.

Let us, now and in the future, refer to the internet mechanism devoted to discussing wrestling entertainment as “The Machine”. There is no value judgment inherent or even implied by this term – it is meant to contain – in a single phrase – the groups and individuals who acquire and disseminate information about this form of entertainment, the assumptions of the meta-entity, and the incredibly complex relationship they have with it.

There is simply no intelligent argument that can be made to support the idea that different parts of the machine don’t all have their own opinions, likes, and dislikes. If an arena cheers Punk when they’re supposed to boo him, it’s because they like Punk and / or don’t like whoever it is that he’s in there with – it’s not because they’re “smark” or “IWC”. They’re fans, who either watch or in some cases have paid to attend the shows, and their arguments, no matter what ridiculous blanket term you want to try and throw on them, are every bit as relevant as yours. If Punk has a match and some people liked it, any opinion along the lines of “of course the IWC smarks liked it, but Punk was his usual botch-tastic self” just doesn’t hold up. People like what they like, and as for you, it just means you don’t like what, in this case, most people liked. And I’m not implying that there’s anything wrong with that – I mean, I can’t understand how anyone can watch Mark Henry and believe that the fat fuck could beat anyone who isn’t a domesticated animal or a parapelegic, but I don’t think my opinion is any more valid than someone who does like Henry.

In this day and age, I think we just need to accept that there are types of matches, wrestlers, storylines and even promotions that different parts of The Machine are not meant to assess, and maybe can’t assess, and that’s okay. The Machine is a specialist device, and can be relied upon to express the contours of these experiences with a granularity, but not every match or storyline demands the full sweep. As more and more people that used to be fans of the product tune out, and as newer and younger fans tune in, their expectations of WWE are going to be a lot more lax. That can only be to WWE’s advantage.

All the people that I know who watched wrestling, most who used to be way more into it than I ever was (and I was quite into it), over the last decade, all tuned out… and I mean literally every single one of them. Thanks to the last website I worked for, and now Inside Pulse, I know a lot more “wrestling” fans now – a ridiculous number actually, and occasionally I can even remember who is who. One thing I hear more or less constantly from many of them is the extent to which WWE has pissed away its relationship with its fanbase and how they’re in trouble if they don’t do something. I don’t really understand this thought process when at the same time they’ve simultaneously created a newer business model that relies on more diverse sources of revenue and cross-promotion than ever before, to fill that void. Specifically, they are filling that void with money and love.

While I have no way of knowing if this is true or not, I imagine that making a wrestling show is a fairly difficult endeavor, even without dealing with a fanbase who is partly made up of a ridiculously and notoriously idiosyncratic demographic – many of them actually believe they could make a better wrestling show and that they understand all the variables of what goes into planning thing ranging from a single match, to a TV show, to a PPV, or even to the strategic or creative direction for an entire global conglomerate. Needless to say, the qualifications for them to do so, more often than not, fall quite a bit short.

And that audience puts up with the kind of thing WWE typically puts out when there’s a payoff at the end, or more importantly, the POSSIBILITY of a payoff – which is why WWE retains its stature; people want it to be good because there’s no other reasonable alternative on TV to watch. They think “maybe this time”, or “they have to have a plan here, right?” They can take a single very vocal crowd or the debut of a Brock Lesnar, and hope that THIS is what will turn the product into something they feel like they could enjoy. Until eventually, they give up – if they give up. Many won’t. But even if they do, by then WWE has hooked in more young fans who are less critical and less demanding. Which would you prefer as your fanbase? And keep in mind before you answer – in addition to kids being way easier to please, they buy way more merchandise as well.

As far as real innovation to wrestling goes, the well has been dry for a long time in the WWE. And if you’re relying on entities outside the WWE to be the source of that innovation (as it has been the majority of times in the past), then let’s be honest – the next ECW isn’t coming, and it sure as hell isn’t ROH. The next WCW isn’t coming, and it sure as hell isn’t TNA.

And WWE has no motivation to be the source of that innovation when they’re making money hand over fist and control what is almost assuredly over 95% of the market share. I’ve made the argument before, but you think in the face of profit, they give a shit about a small ratings drop? Every time there’s a ratings drop someone will put out a bullshit story about how WWE is “panicking”. WWE has made more profit every single year that ratings have been decreasing aside from one year they had movie losses, which aren’t an issue for them anymore. Last year’s WrestleMania blew the roof of previous records. Take look at their 2012 year-end financials. Of course they don’t care about a small ratings drop. Why the fuck would they?

I’m not saying there are NO aspects of WWE that I enjoy now, because that’s not the case. But they are only occasional and make up for a very tiny fraction of the overall product, and for the most part, it’s pretty dull for me – something that I’m sure The WrestleMania Expedition illustrated in great  (and probably painstaking) detail. And if The WrestleMania Expedition proved anything to me, it’s what I already knew – that I’m not built for full WWE TV shows anymore. The PPV’s were better than I expected, which was surprising to me, although perhaps it shouldn’t have been – it’s mostly due to having a bigger variety of wrestlers on the PPV’s over the last half-year (like Cessaro and The Shield) who can be counted on to deliver a better in-ring product.

The TV shows, though? It’s replays from hell to breakfast, movie promotions for projects that I can’t even believe get greenlit in this economy, and social media. They spent over a minute talking about how many Twitter followers Vince McMahon had an hour and a half after he joined Twitter. And even if you cast all that aside… the storylines and match outcomes are on another level of predictable now, to the point where I can’t possibly get interested on a regular basis in a world where there’s a million other things one could be doing. From the way the WWE TV is put together now, you’d have to wonder if they’d even want me to be in that target audience that enjoys or tolerates the product.

In conclusion, I’ll share with you a great quote that my friend Dave made this year. “The WWE PPV’s are the wrestling shows… the WWE TV is a wrestling-themed variety show.” For myself, a storyline can sometimes capture my attention without neccesarily having a great in-ring product (I think the New World Order was the best thing in wrestling for about a year and a half) but WWE hasn’t produced a single decent storyline, let alone one like that, in a long time, aside from the first month of Summer Of Punk and the Shawn Michaels retirement. (Those actually did have great in-ring components as well, my point is only that it didn’t neccesarily have to in order to capture my attention.) The in-ring product on WWE TV is, for the most part, sandpaper, but again, that show isn’t really about the wrestling aside from the odd exception.

The in-ring product on the PPV’s CAN be better – again, thanks to a recent influx of better in-ring talent – but I don’t need to watch the TV to get any of that. I can just watch the PPV when one of the cards catch my attention. It’s not like I’m going to miss anything – more often than not, the build to any match I might want to watch consists of “insult, match interference, attack from behind, pull-apart brawl, insults” anyway, and besides, recaps tell me exactly what’s going on and I can YouTube (or whatever) anything that I’ve missed. And even if I don’t do THAT, WWE has video packages before most matches anyway, that sum up everything from a given match builup in all of sixty seconds.

Much like the esteemed Steven Gepp, although possibly for different reasons – I’ve more than come to terms years ago with the fact that I am no longer wrestling’s target audience. And that’s okay with me.

For some great alternating opinions on the current WWE product and what WrestleMania and RAW really mean for the future, check out my buddy, the always under-rated Martin Shaw’s article here, and my man CB’s take on it here. There’s some good discussion about in the comments as well.

Anyway, thanks to all of you who joined me on the Expedition, and thanks to Inside Pulse for letting me come around for another season to do my thing and fill their pages with enough curse words to last a thousand Game Of Thrones-length winters.

I also want to make sure to thank my DDT posse – Dave, Kon, Swayze, Sawyer, Crystal, J-Train, Cam and of course, my man CB. Without you guys to watch the few shows I do watch with, I probably wouldn’t watch at all. Thanks for the laughs and thanks for keeping me company and contributing to my recaps. Also thanks to everyone else who contributed – Chris Sanders, Jonah Kue, and Rhett Davis for controlling the new PUSSbot 3000. Thanks to Chris Sanders (again) and to Joel Leonard for having me on their Classy Ring Attire podcast a couple times, because that was a lot of fun. Hopefully we can do it again a few times while I’m off. Thanks to frequent commenters like Starcade, Cynical Bastard and Zork as well, and to my other fellow Inside Pulse recappers and columnists not already mentioned like the great Scott Keith, Mike Gojira and Ralph Hardin.

And I guess that’s about it. This season has been a fun ride – not sure if / when I’ll be back or what I’ll be doing (although I can guarantee you it will not be recaps, not on a regular basis anyway) but I’m sure I’ll end up doing something down the road, and if not I’m always around the site in simple comment form. I hope your wrestling shows are good to you whether you’re a fan of “methodical” wrestlers like Shaemus, Mark Henry, Miz, Swagger, Barrett, Cody, or Sandow…

… or, you know, good wrestlers. Those are fun too.

So long, Inside Pulse. I know you’ll tell all your friends that it was mutual and that you’re better off without me before deleting all the pictures of us off your Facebook (but not before saving them all to your hard drive), and that you’ll be tempted to text me when you’re drunk or come up and say hi whenever you see me out somewhere with some other website. Just remember, the great thing about never really being together is that we never really have to break up.

Take care everyone, and thanks again.

This has been “That Being Said: The WrestleMania Expedition”.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you when I see you.

I’ll be in my trailer.

Yours,
BD

“Thought there’d be time. Turns out there’s only road. Long and paved with potholes”.
- Krull, Californication
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Harrak’s Thought: Austin’s debut episode last week was short but refreshing. There’s no set format, topic or filter for the show so it’s basically Austin just being Austin. I’m really looking forward to each week’s episode.
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Wrestlemania 29

Pre-show Intercontinental Championship Match: Wade Barrett(c) vs Miz
It would be impossible to talk about this match without noting their match on Raw the very next night. So let me get this straight, you had the belt change hands only to get the crowd pumped up for an opening without pyro? The crowd didn’t seem to be having it at Wrestlemania, but we can always attribute that to the acoustics of the open-air stadium seeing as how the crowd was all for this match on Raw.

The Shield vs Randy, Sheamus, Big Show
A surprisingly quick match for my taste but that’s probably more to the point of me being completely in the tank for the Shield members. I do like this serving as the real match to get the crowd energized and into the PPV, it’s damn sure better than a Rock pep rally. I don’t know whose decision it was to put Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns together but give that person a medal because I find myself more and more in awe of their chemistry. It was a battle of the 3 most promising stars against 3 stars that seem like fans are beginning to get bored with. Don’t get me wrong, Randy still gets a massive pop when he music hits (mostly from the kids and the ladies) but once the match begins, his fans check out.

Pissing Contest Match
Mark Henry vs Ryback
Do you like seeing giants mounds of flesh flopping against each other for an extended amount of time but in a PG manner? Then this match had everything you were looking for. It was slow and limited but that’s not exactly unexpected, but the literal flop at the end was puzzling. Sure, that ending made sense when they were planning to continue this feud into Extreme Rules but there’s more intelligible ways to cause a “fluke win.”

Tag Team Championship Match
Team Friendship(c) vs Biggles
I really dug them echoing Daniel Bryan’s Wrestlemania 28 match at the beginning and how that caused Bryan to shoot out of a cannon as the crowd went insane. Big E looked good in his first match and put together enough to build off of as he continues in this heel character. He definitely wasn’t polished but it was a promising start. Ziggler was Ziggler but I think we were all just waiting for him to cash in…more on that later.

Say My Name Match
Fandango vs Chris Jericho
Great entrances by both, the crowd seemed to really come alive with Jericho coming out. Just as I said about Big E, solid showing for Fandango’s first match for his character. I like that he’s so agile and light on his feet and, of course, he’s far from polished but he’s a very promising start. Fandango has the character and is willing to really live the gimmick, now he has to build his ring work (or at least show us a little more). Really surprised Fandango picked up the win but it continues the story and I’m definitely okay with that, maybe now we can add a little more context.

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Alberto Del Rio (c) vs Jack Swagger
Felt odd that they cut Swagger’s entrance, that’s usually a no-no for Wrestlemania. The match itself kinda fell flat which wasn’t really the fault of anybody in the match, the match was fine. Everyone seemed a little bit more interested in what Ziggler was going to do, although I’m glad Dolph didn’t cash in at Mania…but more on that later. But all is not lost because this match did give me one of my favorite moments.

Respect Has to Be urn-ed Match
CM Punk vs Undertaker
Sure, it was a little shorter than some of us were probably expecting but that didn’t stop this from being a really good match. First off, both entrances were phenomenal. Living Colour playing Punk in was a great way to wake the crowd up from the Diddy concert. Add into Punk still being cocky when he reached the ring and letting out a viking yell at the first Taker bell, it was fantastic. And what can I say about Taker’s entrance? Even the most rigid and cynical wrestling fan (Blair) has to admit that was pretty awesome. As for the match itself, it had plenty of meaty parts for the audience (both live and on TV) to really sink their teeth into and enjoy. Like I said, the match was pretty quick to end as compared to recent Taker matches but I chalk that up as Taker facing someone that can move a lot quicker than HHH and Shawn. The match may not have had the epic story as we’ve seen the previous 4 years but it was good switch in the legacy of the Undertaker. Punk and Taker’s challenge was to take a match where we all knew the outcome but still drive us to the edge of our seats and they did just that. The high points are definitely Taker sitting up in the Vice and Punk taking that table bump like a champ and continuing with an alleged leg injury.

Bar-Holding Protest Match
Clone HHH (III) vs Bork Bork
You can believe that white stuff that stuck to HHH’s torso in his entrance was because he doused himself in water before walking through the extinguishers but I prefer to believe Clone HHH (Triple I) was recently from his fueling cell and his handlers forgot to wipe off the coolant. Either way, this match bored us all to tears just like the Summer Slam match. Hopefully the end of this feud was signified by Brock botching a pedigree (much like the same when Nash did it).

Twice in a Lifetime
The Rock(c) vs John Cena
The crowd was not having any of this match and good for them. This match devolved into both men repeatedly going back and forth between their finisher set-ups for a good 5-10 minutes, it’s like that button on their controllers were both broken. Cena won, the torch was passed, let’s move on.

I don’t think Wrestlemania 29 was necessarily bad but it did feel off and it’s because of a variety of factors. We started with out “America, the Beautiful,” a time-honored tradition as well as the opening pyro. We also saw a bunch of Rock and Cena promos throughout the entire night but got no intro at all before the match itself. Also, Cena didn’t get a super duper ring entrance like he always does. I’m not complaining too much about because they’re almost always incredibly lame but still, a bit out of the norm. The fans really did not want anything to do with the end of the night and I felt like that was a big factor into…

Monday Night Raw
Before the show, there was all the hubbub about Rock catching a flight out of NJ without telling anyone in WWE and stories about Rock ditching Raw ran rampant, all while the twitter-happy Rock was completely quiet (possibly due to being on the plane). We finally got word from Rock (about 20 mins from Raw) about the injuries sustained during his Wrestlemania match and he was getting them checked out. Personally, I’m not exactly buying the injury angle here but I’m not completely rejecting it now that more and more people are coming out today (Tuesday) saying the injury is legit. Either way, I’m not exactly counting on Rock being at Wrestlemania XXX, either to not hinder his movie career or out of losing interest in wrestling. Either way, I think this is a great opportunity for WWE to fill the part-timer-shaped gaps with current talent that’s been in the back seat.

A lot happened on Raw but the real story here would be the crowd, who probably were just as loud at Mania but I wouldn’t know first hand. I felt like this was an extension from the infamous Miami crowd last year and it makes the post-mania Raw simply fun to watch.

The biggest news-worthy thing was, of course, Ziggler finally cashing-in and winning the WHC as the crowd’s brains exploded before out very eyes. It started of Ziggler’s championship run with a ton of momentum and hopefully it’ll carry over when they leave NJ. Follow all of that up with Undertaker being interrupted by Shield, which is surprising and a way to being the presumed “Taker Farewell Tour” but the real kick that has everyone excited was when we saw something nobody believe we’d ever see.

The crowd solidified it’s place in the annuls of time during the incredibly yawn-worthy booking of Sheamus vs Randy Orton. What we heard was the crowd becoming bored but instead of the crowd growing quiet and disinterested, they rejected the premise and started chants that had nothing to do with the match. I’d say this segment was doomed the moment Randy took the mic away from his mouth and mouthed to Sheamus, “What’s my line?” Not even kidding, this actually happened.
This is like a member of the St. Louis Cardinals hitting a home run at Wrigley and a Cubs fan threw the ball back onto the field. Sure, this is the one episode of Raw all year that features such a high volume of the “smark” demographic but I do feel like their displeasure of Mania’s ending had to do with their reaction to everything on Raw. It’s as if the crowd refused to take part in WWE’s serious face-pushing and elected to just have fun, hence why the strong reaction to Fandango and his music because it’s brainless, silly and fun…a perfect transition from the most meticulously planned night of the year.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Wrestlemania weekend and I’m excited to hear about how you all spent said weekend. My group of friends had a nice Saturday night of movies and shirt-making followed by a Sunday afternoon of Lazer-tagging.
Before Mania, we did present our critically-acclaimed Power Point presentation in an attempt to inform our non-wrestling fan friends of who is who and what they’re fighting for. The presentation is prepared by my Classy Ring Attire co-host (follow us on twitter @CRAttire), Joel Leonard, and presented by yours truly (although I’m always prohibited from seeing the presentation beforehand). If you want to check out what Joel put together, you can download it here or here.

Finally, I want to let everyone know about a non-wrestling venture Joel and myself are working on. A friend of ours is wanting to make a animated short film based on a children’s book he has written called Moon Bear. Both Joel and myself are producing it and we would love for you all to check it out and maybe share it with your friends or family. You can read all about it on our Kickstarter page. We’re really excited about it and I believe everyone will enjoy the finished product with your help!
End of plug, I swear.

Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do twice,
Chris

The Answer: If you are in desperate need to get that dumb “coming Home” out of your head, try this.
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I’m a sucker for callbacks: Two favorite moments of WrestleMania, and they are my favorite moments for the same reason. One is when Daniel Bryan tried to beat Ziggler in eighteen seconds after he kissed AJ, and the other was when Cena started to perform the People’s Elbow on the Rock only to stop at the ropes. In case you weren’t able to figure it out, in both cases this was a direct reference to an incident that had happened at the previous WrestleMania. And in a type of entertainment where continuity is often the first thing to go, I will admit to getting a little giddy at seeing someone reference something so specific that happened the previous year. Plus Cena’s face when he pulled out of the People’s Elbow attempt was a perfect, smug “Suck It, Internet!” face. It probably won’t be anytime soon, but that guy’s going to make a great heel someday.

The importance of the next generation: If there was one true problem with WrestleMania, it was how undeniably predictable the three main event matches were. Sure there could have been an argument made that Triple H was in his retirement match this time around, but most were pretty much convinced that he would be the victor of the evening. See that is one of the biggest problems when it comes to guys that wrestle on a part time schedule. When they do come back, it’s for one specific reason. The Rock came back to pass the torch. Undertaker came back to continue to be undefeated at WrestleMania. Because we know that these guys are here for a limited time, it’s much easier to figure out exactly what WWE has planned for them, and where their storylines are going to go. From the moment that The Rock announced he would be competing for the title at the Royal Rumble, most people were able to figure out exactly what story beats WWE would be following between the Rumble and Mania. And they were right. Now think to some of the mid card matches, such as Team Friendship vs. Ziggy and Big E. That match could have ended in a number of different ways. Team Friendship’s dynamic continues to work, so it’s easy to see them continuing to carry the titles. However, the crowd is so hot for Ziggler, perhaps he will be tag team champion. Big E is new but has support back stage, what does that mean for the guy’s future. Add in the briefcase, which throws a constant wrench into any predicted booking, and you’ve got solid arguments for multiple outcomes happening. In this instance, each near fall is far more believable as, we don’t know, where WWE is taking this storyline in the next weeks.

 At the end of the day, the crowd is everything: Every now and then, a wrestler, usually one who has just won a championship or a hard victory, will get the mic and say to the crowd present, that this win is for them, and without the crowd they would be nothing. It’s a nice sentiment, but one that we don’t put much stock in. Sure the crowd has sway, but at the end of the day, there are a few very specific voices backstage, and if they want something to happen a certain way, that’s the way it’s going to happen, regardless of how much I complain about it on the internet. But every now and then there is a crowd, a crowd that’s so loud, so entraining, and works so well together, that they just can’t be ignored. In the past few years, we got to see, Chicago turn CM Punk face, and the guy continues to get cheers despite six months of the WWE trying to get us to boo him. In Miami, the crowd “YES”ed Daniel Bryan from losing his Mania match in eighteen seconds to the WWE Championship scene a few months later. But here’s what’s truly great this time around. The WWE is admitting it. Videos of people singing Fandango’s theme have appeared on WWE’s YouTube account, and official statements saying what a great crowd Raw had this Monday. This is the same company that in the past year tried to play off the “YES” chants as crowds mocking Bryan and having Lawler say that a loud and clear “Lets go Ziggler” chant was for Sheamus. Hopefully, this is a case where the crowd is just loud enough, and just rambunctious enough to make a difference.
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1. First thing I want to mention is that I’m glad my prediction came true and the new WWE Championship has customizable side plates. It’s a creative update to the traditional nameplate idea and should make for some pretty cool looking WWE Championship designs.

2. Ok, I’ll admit it. The “heel turn/dance move” line was pretty slick. Kudos to John Cena or whomever came up with that line.

3. I have no idea what the reasoning was behind hotshotting the IC Championship but good God did Miz and Wade Barrett work an intense, stiff and physical match. Not only should have this version of Barrett/Miz been featured on WrestleMania but I wonder what was said to these two that lit fuses under their asses for this Raw match. Sure there were some missed spots but overall, this is what the Intercontinental Championship division should be like and I’m glad Barrett’s carrying the title again. Now they just have to rebuild his character into something credible…

4. The Dolph Ziggler cash in was executed fantastically. During Big E’s match & celebration, Ziggler kept to the shadows and AJ held onto the briefcase the entire time. There was absolutely no hint that tonight was going to be the night. That is until the trainer entered the ring to check on Alberto Del Rio. Suddenly the entire crowd rose to their feet, cameras pointed toward the stage. That’s the anticipation and reaction the Money In The Bank briefcase is supposed to elicit. And I LOVED the fact that he had to work for the championship because he’s probably the best WORKER in the company right now. The crowd’s reaction wasn’t probably what the WWE hoped for considering Ziggler is a heel but the reaction was absolutely incredible and maybe one of the loudest in the modern era (post-Attitude Era).

5. Randy “What’s My Line?” Orton was terrible and might have been one of the most embarrassing moments in Raw history. Combine that with the pin drop reaction the announcement of the Orton vs Sheamus match got and WWE must be ecstatic to be out of New Jersey. All I know is that considering Randy Orton’s well documented temper (which I’ve actually witnessed first hand a few times), I would HATE to be anywhere close to his path when he got backstage.

6. This is honestly the most entertaining the announce team has been in years. I don’t know if it is because Vince McMahon is in the back freaking out about the crowd and not screaming in the ears of any of the guys or if they decided to just go with the crowd but they legitimately seem to be having fun with this crowd and everything that is happening. For once their laughter isn’t canned or faked.

7. Fandango & New Jersey. I really don’t know what to say. It will be interesting to see if the singing carries over to other arenas or if this stays in Jersey. If that’s the case, at least we all have at least one night to reflect on and relive the greatness that is the “Fandango Sing-a-Long”.

8. John Cena really seemed to be thriving with this crowd. From the improvising in his opening segment to the impromptu dance moves before his match with Mark Henry, Cena worked WITH the crowd instead of against them like Sheamus & Orton.

9. I’m extremely curious to see how the Ryback angle plays out next week. Is he a heel? Is he a babyface who just wants the WWE title? Is he a heel to all John Cena face and a babyface to all John Cena haters? There’s a lot of different directions they can go with Ryback now and considering he hasn’t won on a PPV in months just lends itself to more speculation that he’s turned heel because being a good guy wasn’t working for him. But, he’s also in the top 5 of babyfaces the WWE has right now. As fun as this Raw was, there are still a lot of questions. Hopefully we’ll get a few of them answered next week… as long as the wrestlers can be heard over Fandango’s entrance music that is.

10. And to round out tonight’s Raw and our post-WrestleMania Raw 10 Thoughts, a video courtesy of our own Justin Czerwonka taken while exiting the IZOD Center:

Gotta love a crowd FULL of hardcore wrestling fans.
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1. I decided to actually sit down and watch WrestleMania again. With fresh eyes and from the couch of my own home, devoid of the all of the crap MetLife Stadium provided. I’ll do my best to concentrate on what’s going on in the ring but I might throw a few tidbits here and there about what was shown on the PPV that the live crowd didn’t get to experience.

2. Believe it or not, that Big Show chop on Dean Ambrose was one of 5 or 6 spots you could actually hear throughout the stadium. I mentioned before that the ring wasn’t microphoned so any move or spot that needed the sound of a mat couldn’t be heard at all. Big Show’s chop obviously didn’t need that at all & the crowd responded accordingly.

3. After reading the PPV reports, I was certain that we wouldn’t be able to hear the crowd at all but so far it all sounds pretty good. As I said in my editorial (you can read it here), the crowd was extremely hot all night long but it was hard to get completely invested in everything because we were watching the show on mute.

4. Fandango & Chris Jericho put on a pretty good show that played better on TV than to the crowd. As you could clearly hear, it was a very pro-Y2J crowd but Fandango was damn over as a heel. The crowd popped huge for the top-rope legdrop and they probably should have had that move lead to the finish instead of the roll-up. One way or another, both performers were over pretty well in stadium but all were confused by the sloppy finish.

5. I’d say about 75-85% of the crowd was completely confused and underwhelmed by Diddy, for obvious reasons. Hell, I’d say probably more than half of the crowd wasn’t even born yet when his first two songs were released.

6. A lot of people thought Jack Swagger was just practicing his entrance when he drive the golf cart down to the ring during the video packages. In hindsight, it was probably good not to show a guy with a pending DWI driving but you could have least given him an entrance, whether walking or Zeb Colter driving. The finish of the match fell completely flat because everyone knew Ziggler wasn’t going to cash in on a healthy Alberto Del Rio. It didn’t stop anyone from chanting “We Want Ziggler!” though.

7. CM Punk wearing The Undertaker’s colors was perfect and a very cool Undertaker entrance. We could tell something was happening on the stage but not really what. The crowd was as close to 50-50 split as I’ve ever experienced at a wrestling show. Most of the “adult male” voices are dominating the TV broadcast but the arena truly was split among all demographics. Undertaker’s situp while in the Anaconda Vice sent the crowd into an absolute frenzy. Everything about this match translated just as well on TV as it did in that giant stadium. I don’t feel like I missed anything like in the other matches by being in the stadium and having an obstructed view. Every move meant something. The body language and facial expressions were spot on. And both guys busted their asses. I speculated on the last episode of the Creatively Endeavored Wrestling Pulsecast that the rumors of Undertaker & CM Punk’s injuries were being blown out of proportion and it definitely seemed as if both of them didn’t miss a step.

8. Triple H being thrown through the announce table was the other big spot that echoed throughout MetLife. While the CM Punk/Undertaker table spot drew cringes from the crowd, Triple H and Brock were able to get the “Ohhhhh!”s. The crowd does sound pretty dead during this match while could have been one of two things. One, we were all still a little hungover from the CM Punk/Undertaker emotional ride and two, most of this match is taking place outside of the ring. Not only could we not hear all of this pretty vicious and stiff spots but we also couldn’t see them. The long “Kimura lock” periods did nothing for the live crowd since we couldn’t hear the announcers putting it over or the pain on Brock Lesnar’s or Triple H’s face. The Pedigree and finish went over a 100 times better on TV than live. Live it didn’t really look like Triple H hit all of the Pedigree and the majority of talk during the show was that this was going to be Triple H’s last match so him going over was a pretty big surprise.

9. Yup the sudden John Cena entrance was just as confusing on TV as it was live. You’d think that with all the video packages throughout the night that even a 30 second montage could have let the crowd know the main event was up next. A few thousand people thought the 8-man tag team match was up next and had headed for the bathroom or merchandise stands. The silence during this match wasn’t only on TV but also live. Not only were we worn out but EVERYONE was waiting for a John Cena heel turn, especially with all of the teases during the match from Cena. The highlight of this entire main event was Cena stopping his mock People’s Elbow and giving the heelish “U Can’t See Me”. The fact that they didn’t go with a heel turn after that. It amazes me that The Rock did so much in this match with the injuries he suffered. We all know wrestlers are a different breed of people but that truly is incredible.

10. Overall, I would have been perfectly happy with this show had I watched it from the comfort of my own home. Sure there were a lot of things that didn’t happen (Ziggler’s cash-in or a Cena heel turn among others) but it was a pretty good show otherwise. It’s sad to think that being there live did so much damage to the viewing experience that I was ready to swear off of WWE entirely. WWE needs to recognize their limitations and stop holding WrestleManias in outdoor football stadiums. They could make just as much money in a large indoor arena with a well prepared staff, merchandise/food stock and organization. Plus they could charge more for tickets as there would be less of them available and they would walk away with probably the same gate as they would in a poorly prepared stadium. WWE needs to overcome their fetish for “setting attendance records” and be more focused on providing a positive experience for the people who paid a lot of money to be at a WrestleMania live.
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That is not to say they are still not an “indy” fed. Some of the guys hit the ring too early in their training/development. Some wrestlers have a tendency to rely on high spots too often. Psychology is a little over the place at times (but, then again, nearly every match in WWE and TNA has that same problem – a lost art of wrestling, I’m afraid). And some of the characters are too over the top or just not believable.

Still, I have been watching a lot of wrestling on that thar Internet-thingy lately, and, dangnabbit!, if the RCW shows and matches are some of the best out there. It is one of the best independent federations anywhere. I could go through the 3 other Adelaide federations, the 3 Melbourne feds I’ve seen, the one NSW and one Queensland fed, and the one Western Australian fed (which is actually quite the awesome promotion as well) and say why RCW is better, but people in Australian wrestling already hate me so I won’t go there.

Now, before I hit the show, I missed the last 2 RCW shows and I may miss more in the future. I may also try going to one or two of the other promotions (although a few years ago one of them told me to never review their shows), but you never know. I’ll review a show if I go, but I’ll only go as a spectator nowadays. While it’s cool to be a heel, it sucks in real life.

Ladies and Gentlemen, are you ready to riot?

RCW 100

Your commentators are Josh (Mark Madden) Armour and Todd (Mike Tenay) Eastman. Josh has been on managerial duties, so this is his return to commentary and the crowd just hates him. Huge crowd, pushing that 400 person mark.

We open with a Damo Damo video to that South Park ‘Montage Song’, which was awesomely well done and extremely funny.

Match 1: The Armstrongs (Nick & Jett) v The BFFs (Carlo Cannon and Ryan Rollins). Surprisingly hot opener with Rollins finally looking the goods in the ring. The Armstrongs have got the best match out of him I have seen (and I’ve watched a bit of him on video as well as in real life). The whole opening sequence was hot as. Nick gets to play face in peril, then Jett has a turn. A four-high tower spot – holy crap! There’s the highlight. End comes when a Rollins moonsault attempt is turned into a Nick RKO, and Jett hits his own top rope moonsault for the pin. Great opener, and got the crowd pumped.

Match 2: Hammer (with Brad Smyth) v Big Brodie Marshall. This came about at the last show where Marshall won the Strength Cup, defeating Hammer in the final. Standard big man power match. Smyth interference occurs (of course). Some weak looking clotheslines and punches. Hammer is no longer the monster but just another wrestler, albeit one with a more intense look. Hammer in control for a while. Marshall back, distracted by Smyth. Marshall finally wins with a version of the Rock Bottom. Match didn’t really gel, and apart from Marshall’s vociferous fan club, crowd was not into it.

Eliza Sway (women’s champ) and Andy ‘Voodoo’ Roy (RCW champ) come out. Sway runs down the crowd. Voodoo says they’re coming in champs and leaving champs. Short sharp and shiny, the way promos should be – get the point across, don’t belabour it, make sure your face/heel persona is left in no doubt.

Match 3: Fatal 4-Way: Fuzion (with manager) v Shannon Jarvis v Josh Shooter v Luke Santamaria. Luke’s return match after a nasty shoulder injury. Typical four-way schmozz. Lots of pairing off, lots of back and forth. Luke is put out of action for a while (great way to protect the returning wrestler, and no, that isn’t sarcasm). Too much action to call and it never really stops. End comes when Shannon hits a nice flying kick on Shooter and rolls off. Fuzion’s manager grabs hold of him and Fuzion steals the pin to be the winner. Entertaining, non-stop match.

Match 4: Barnes & Brooks v The Rude Ones. Barnes and Brooks is an odd pairing, and their persona of beer-drinking yobs (they actually each have a bottle of beer with them that they regularly swig from) is supposed to make them heels in Australia? Start feels off until they quickly turn it into an old-school tag team match, with Marvel the face in peril and his leg the centre of attention. Hot tag to Del Taurino doesn’t go as planned. Tag back and Marvel pins Barnes but Brooks hits a senton across both men to break it. Ouch! It breaks down quickly, but Del Taurino keeps Brooks on the outside while Marvel locks the dragon sleeper on Barnes for the submission win. Another good match once it got going. Oh, and Marvel does the Bret Hart knee sell for the rest of the show.

Match 5: Damo Damo (with Shannon Jarvis) v Brad Smyth (with Hammer). This is the culmination of months of build-up – Damo has to win by this show in order to have his contract with RCW extended. So this is it – the blow-off. And then Shannon is quickly sent to the back for punching Brad. Brad is in control with occasional flurries from Damo, but the crowd is HOT. Damo channels Grimm. Smyth kicks the ring post and now Damo channels Marvel (the two guys seen helping him in the video montage at the start of the show – continuity!) and focuses on the leg. Ankle lock by Damo, ho train by Damo misses and the tide turns. Hammer interference and he’s out of there as well! Damo with a top rope hurricanrana, then the Fly Damo Fly top rope cross-body gets the three-count. Damo finally wins! And the crowd EXPLODES! I mean, there are pops, and there was this. The walls shook. They have been so invested in this character of the little battler that this final overcoming of the odds was for them. A cathartic release, and Damo is the most over guy in RCW at the moment. Even me, a jaded old cynic, had shivers and a grin on my face.

We need intermission after this. No-one could follow that.

I had a good look around at intermission. They had a display of the last 7 years of RCW, with old photos, an old title belt, posters, programmes from shows, everything like that. Nice and understated. They have also started releasing a bare bones DVD of the previous month’s show. Good move, I think.

And we’re back.

Match 6: Matt Silva v Matt ‘Grimm’ Basso. This is very probably Silva’s last match for RCW as he has been signed to a developmental contract with FCW, leading hopefully to the WWE. I tried to get an interview with him, but that didn’t happen. Oh well… This was an intense match, one that went back and forth the whole time. Silva is the heel, but he is not wrestling in full-on heel mode and the crowd does not want to boo him. Good thing there was an intermission because the crowd got into this one right from the word go. Some good wrestling, and Silva’s strength is something to behold. He locks in a sweet STF and he is even knocked for a flip on a clothesline. Silva chants start! Then we get duelling Silva/Grimm chants. This is probably the first time since he fought Mimic that I’ve seen Grimm so overshadowed by an opponent, and full credit to the big man for going along with it. He knows what the crowd wants and gives it to them. That is the mark of a professional, not a selfish spot-monkey (not mentioning the names of any other local feds I’ve seen recently…). Silva powers out of the cut-throat driver and hits a brainbuster for 2. Grimm hits the big boot for 3 and the pin.

After the match Grimm and Silva embrace and Silva has a mic. He thanks the crowd and the RCW crew. He also puts RCW over as the best promotion in Australia. Cool and classy way to say goodbye.

Match 7: 4-way Elimination Match for the RCW Women’s Title: Harley Wonderland v Lou Lou Lockhart v Savannah Summers v Eliza Sway (c). Miami is making her return as the special guest ref, and her past with Sway shows itself from the word go. Quick start with stereo moves by Lockhart and Summers until it breaks down and Lockhart is quickly eliminated via a Wonderland pin. Now it seems to be 2-on-1, but everyone turns on everyone else and it becomes a full-on 3-way pretty quickly. Savannah pins Wonderland and Sway lets it happen. Wonderland then distracts Miami, enabling Sway to get the title belt and waffle Summers with it, and Miami reluctantly counts the pin, so Sway is still the champ. But Miami then attacks Sway and takes her out.

Note: Only the second heel to win all night.

Match 8: Ladder Match for the RCW Title: Chris ‘Mimic’ Basso v Andy ‘Voodoo’ Roy (c). Back and forth for a minute and then the first ladder brought in. Back and forth again. A chair gets involved and Voodoo takes an unprotected head shot. Awesome action at the moment. Mimic almost crashes in a ladder assisted flip tope. Ladders are everywhere. Mimic head first into a ladder, and starts to bleed. Mimic then suplexed onto a ladder. Drop toe hold and Mimic eats ladder. Mimic is being slaughtered here. And even as I write that he makes a come back. Fight on top of a ladder and Voodoo takes a gourd buster from the top. Set ups of spots are actually being done well in advance – that actually feels different. Voodoo slammed onto a ladder, but moves so that a Mimic moonsault lands on it. His chest is purple and red with bruising. Both up a ladder, both down with a crash. Back and forth until Mimic hits a double underhook piledriver. Voodoo chairs him off the ladder. Voodoo hits the Cannibal destroyer onto a chair. Mimic drop kicks Voodoo from the top of the ladder. Now the slow climbing starts and we lost the interesting transitions. Fight again on top of the ladder. Voodoo falls backwards with his leg caught and Mimic reaches up and grabs the belt. Winner and new champ – MIMIC!

Brodie Marshall comes out. He faces Mimic next month. They shake hands, but Voodoo interjects himself and Marshall throws him out of the ring. I’m guessing a 3-way for the title in May.

Now all of the faces come out of the back to celebrate with Mimic. Mimic thanks everyone for RCW making it to 100 shows, and Joe – the owner – comes out to thank everyone now.

Feel-good show for the 100th. And not only that, a great show.

On FaceBook, one of the guys I follow is ‘Angry Wrestling Vet ‘ (http://www.facebook.com/AngryWrestleVet), and he had this to say about Wrestlemania weekend: “#VetChallenge: A lot of wrestling events are going to be happening this weekend with a lot of eyes on all involved. Stand out in the crowd and make them remember you for the right reasons.”

Riot City Wrestling followed that advice and then some. Congratulations, guys and girls. Well done, and here’s to another 100.

 
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